


A Thousand Beautiful Things

by superpotterlock (fvalconbridge)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Barebacking, Blasphemy, Church Sex, Coming of Age, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Exhibitionism, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fatherly Bobby Singer, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, Impala Sex, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's Bad Parenting, Library Sex, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Not Beta Read, Outdoor Sex, Phone Sex, Public Sex, Religion, Sexual Confusion, Slice of Life, Switching, Teen Romance, Teenage Rebellion, Underage Drinking, Use Of Offensive Words, accidental use of British words - sorry, beta reader wanted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 11:45:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 209,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fvalconbridge/pseuds/superpotterlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Accidents happen everyday, like someone accidentally hitting you in the face with a ball and then you mutually getting off with them in the school showers. Now Dean's not saying he's gay, but the thing he has going with Castiel isn't exactly straight either and he isn't even sure if it matters any more. </p><p>This will be novel length and is currently WIP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cassandra_Summers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra_Summers/gifts).



> Updates are completely random, I used to update regularly but due to my job and RL problems I don't have as much time as I used to!
> 
> This work is currently being beta read by the lovely [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/), [poisonousdame](http://poisonousdame.tumblr.com/), [atticus7497](http://atticus7497.tumblr.com/) and [jaredmooselecki](http://jaredmooselecki.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Special thanks go to [Mistofstars](http://mistofstars.tumblr.com/) for the wonderful artwork :)
> 
> And a special thanks to [Cassandra Summers](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassandra_Summers/) ([thatwolfshow](http://thatwolfshow.tumblr.com/)) who encouraged me to start this in the first place and continues to support me throughout. This was a gift to her for her 18th (Hannah i hope that is right!) birthday! ^^
> 
> Please visit me on Tumblr, I am [superpotterlock](http://superpotterlock.tumblr.com/) and my website is [faithvalconbridge.co.uk](www.faithvalconbridge.co.uk)
> 
> Original idea was (as posted by [Substiel](http://substiel.tumblr.com/)):
>
>> Cas full on rebelled against heaven. Like if you think about it Cas is kind of a little shit. 
>> 
>> So why are there not more AU’s where he is a rebellious teenager whose parents blame Dean Winchester for “corrupting him” like I want Cas sneaking out while Dean waits up the street for him in the impala. I want Cas to get drunk and have lots of sex with Dean only to have to straighten up early sunday morning and go to church with his family.
>>
>>>  

* * *

 

It all started in gym class where it literally hit him in the face. Dean Winchester fell over backwards onto his ass and groaned, bringing his hand up to his throbbing head. He lay there for a few seconds feeling sorry for himself. He should have guessed this would happen; pick on the new kid. When he finally moved his hands the first thing he noticed was that a guy roughly his own age was bent over him and looking worried, his dark hair sticking up in odd directions. The gym lights were bright and made it look like he was glowing where he blocked the light, his eyes stood out as an almost unnatural shade of blue staring down at him. In his deliria the first thing that came out of Dean’s mouth was, “Are you an angel?”

“Wow.” The guy laughed in surprise and straightened up, suddenly looking unsure if he wanted to help. He stared down again and Dean closed his eyes, except this time from humiliation rather than pain. He was such a dick, why had he even said that? Now this guy was going to think he was some kind of weirdo. 

“Come on, I’ll take you to the nurse,” the other guy said eventually. He held out his hand and helped Dean to his feet.

“Thanks, but I can manage,” Dean said stubbornly, he had already embarrassed himself enough. Dean turned and made his way towards the locker room hoping to find some respite from the class. He stumbled to the side when a blinding pain flashed behind his eyes. The other guy was at his side instantly, wrapping an arm around him to hold him up. He was smaller than Dean, though not by much, and was surprisingly strong for his size. He held Dean up easily and they walked back to the locker room.

“I’m sorry I hit you, this hasn’t happened before. I’m really bad at sports! It really isn’t my thing at all. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you… I’m not even sure what happened.” He spoke quickly and formally, though he sounded nervous and almost a little stiff. It took Dean a few seconds to comprehend what he was saying. The guy stared at Dean expectantly, waiting for a response as they walked back. He clearly felt bad, it was written all over his face but Dean could tell he was telling the truth. At least he didn’t have to worry about bullies.

“It’s fine, gives me an excuse to miss that awful class, I guess.” Dean shrugged. “I don’t really want to go to the nurse; I’ll be fine to sit here until next period I think.” The smaller guy nodded.

“I’ll stay with you, I don’t want you to pass out or something.”

The locker rooms were empty when they arrived and Dean felt himself lowered onto one of the benches, they sat side by side in silence for a while, the other guys arm still hovering behind him. Dean put his head back in his hands, it was actually kind of awkward, the other guy next to him fidgeting silently and Dean unable to get past the fact that he had called him an angel.

“I don’t want you to think I was picking on before you because you’re new.” He sounded sincere, though a little defensive as he said it, as if he was worried of Dean thinking bad of him.

“Hey, it’s fine, just maybe cut gym next time, yeah?” Dean joked. “I’m Dean, by the way,” he introduced, smiling slightly. 

 

He was taken back as he looked at his classmate for the first time properly; he had thought it had been the artificial lighting making the other guy’s eyes so bright, but the blue was outstanding and Dean stared, unable to look away.

“Castiel.”

“Huh?” He hadn’t caught what the guy had said, he found himself distracted admiring his eyelashes. They were long, thick and dark and framed his bright eyes beautifully, making them all the more shocking. For a guy, he was really kind of good looking. Dean knew that the thought was strange, it was very out of character for him, but he didn’t try to deny it, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t attracted to the guy. He wasn’t sure why, but this attraction was instant and undeniable. He felt like there was something between them, something deeper. He couldn’t explain it, but he had never felt it before. Dean licked his lips nervously as he felt the telltale signs of a crush already forming, his heartbeat picking up in his chest and the apparent need to feel closer to the other guy. He unintentionally glanced down at his lips and Dean scolded himself internally. He didn’t understand why this was happening, it was all a little confusing, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to question it or not. 

“My name... it’s Castiel.” Castiel’s lips twitched into a smile, evidently entertained by Dean’s obvious behaviour. His cheeks slowly stained a rosy pink as Dean continued to hold his gaze. Dean wanted to say something, he wanted to impress Castiel or to say something witty or teasing but his mind was wiped blank.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually. “Your eyes, they’re really distracting, are you wearing contacts or something?” he asked, forcing himself to look away. Castiel’s gaze was intense and it made Dean’s stomach twist and his mouth dry. He wiped his hands on his shorts nervously as his palms started to sweat.

“No, why would I be?” He sounded a little disappointed at what Dean had said, he hoped that h hadn’t offended him... “I assure you, my eye colour is natural, I know they’re a peculiar but—“

“No, they’re great, they suit you,” Dean interrupted, startled at Castiel’s response. What kind of jerk had told him that his eyes were  _ peculiar  _ anyway? Dean irked himself at the apparent lack of filter he had on his mouth. 

“My own eyes suit me?” Castiel grinned. It seemed as if it had been the right thing to say, the other man started to fidget less next to him, he seemed more comfortable in Dean’s company. “You are something else you know. I don’t hear that every day.” Castiel looked down shyly and gnawed at his bottom lip, it made Dean feel warm all over.

“I think you kicked that ball pretty hard,” Dean said after some time, in an effort to get Castiel talking to him again. He liked listening to his voice.  His headache had already started to clear so he knew he was already on his way to recovering. In some twisted way Dean didn’t want to be able to blame his sweaty palms on a ball to the head, he wanted this feeling to be real. He should feel bad using the situation to his advantage since it had obviously been an accident and had worried Castiel, but it was harmless for something as small as making the other guy talk to him, right? So telling him he had hit him hard wasn’t really too bad, it was only a mild form of attention seeking. 

“I am really, really sorry about that,” Castiel spoke clearly; his voice was gravelly and less nervous than before, more relaxed. Dean turned to admire him again, Castiel’s expression was honest and concerned and he glanced at Dean’s lips.  His tongue darted out to sooth his pink lips from where he had chewed them and it made Dean’s stomach twist in longing. They were sat close and Dean realised that their thighs were touching and butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Never in his life had Dean wanted to kiss someone so much, but he really didn’t want to risk getting hit in the face again. He would expect nothing less than a smack to the face if he tried, but he was convinced that Castiel was looking down at his lips too... 

 

Castiel leaned forwards slightly to examine his face and Dean stilled, not daring to move an inch as the other guy looked at his bruise. He selfishly used the guy’s concern, using the time so he could look at his pink lips, admire his cupids bow and imagine what it would feel like to close the space between them. 

“You might have a bruise,” Castiel whispered. He didn’t away, he remained close, the distance between them only small. 

 

“Oh,” he replied, he had already known, it felt tender, though bruises were the furthest thing from his mind right now. Dean subconsciously leant closer. 

 

“I am an angel, by the way. Castiel is the angel of Thursday.” Castiel spoke softly, as if afraid he would startle him. Dean pulled back slowly, feeling unsure if he was mocking him. He could feel a feather light caress of Castiel’s fingers as he slowly trailed them over his bruised temple. He shivered. He was dizzy with feelings, his head fuzzy and his only thoughts on the fact he couldn’t feel Castiel’s breath against his cheek if he concentrated.

He couldn’t be reading all these signals wrong, Castiel was practically sat in his lap, he was touching his face softly and he seemed eager for Dean to do something. He wasn’t sure what it was that he  _ should  _ do. If the situation was different and it had been a girl that was behaving this way, then Dean would have made a move by now. But Castiel wasn’t a girl, he was undeniably male, and the thought of treading into the unfamiliar territory was very tempting.

 

The thought never crossed his mind that Castiel might be the one to make the first move.

But  _ oh _ , he did.

Before Dean knew what was happening he had a lap full of angel and Castiel was pressing against his lips insistently, not taking no for an answer. Dean inhaled sharply through his nose in surprise, his eyes wide open with shock. Castiel took advantage of his surprise and cupped his face, he changed the angle of his lips. The kiss was kind of sloppy but what he obviously lacked in experience he made up with in enthusiasm. Dean’s eyes fell closed as the situation caught up with him and he groaned, hands gripping at the guy in his lap. He kissed back, deeply and desperately and guided the other guy into a more comfortable rhythm. The feeling was electric. 

 

Fuck, he tasted so damn good.

When they pulled apart their breathing was harsh and they stared into each other’s eyes, resting their foreheads together as they tried to calm down and steady their breath.

“No-one has ever looked at me like that before, you made me feel wanted.” Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, seemingly quite comfortable sat in his lap. Dean’s mind was still trying to catch up with what had just happened, but his body was already with the program and aching for more.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like I already know you,” Dean whispered and leaned forwards to kiss him again, pulling him impossibly closer. Castiel felt small and strong in his arms and unable to resist he shoved his hands under the guy’s shirt, sliding his hands up his back, feeling his muscles shift. Castiel was pulling back, encouraging his touch and mouthing down Dean’s neck, he could feel him nod, agreeing to the statement.

“I’ve only known you for minutes and I want you so bad,” he whispered, the words sounding dirty on his tongue; he was begging with the way he arched into him. Dean growled. They kissed again, both eager and full of teenage lust and desperation - their lips ripped apart at the sound of a ball hitting the gym door. It banged open for a split second. Castiel was up in a flash and leaning against the opposite wall leaving Dean confused and staring down embarrassed at his obvious boner. He crossed his legs.

 

The quick separation between the two of them sobered Dean slightly. He wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen now. Castiel giggled, flushed with nerves and hid his blushing face. “I can’t believe that just happened. I’m not promiscuous, I swear,” he said, eyes wide and obviously embarrassed at the state he had got himself into. 

 

Dean stood up and gingerly walked over, he didn’t want Castiel to react badly to this. He didn’t know what this meant but he knew that he wanted it to happen again. Castiel looked as afraid as Dean felt and that let him know that he felt the same.

“I never said you were-”

“I just meant I don’t normally go around kissing boys,” he interrupted, voice higher in a panic. “Not like there’s anything wrong with that!” Dean nodded in understanding and smiled slightly, letting him know that there was nothing bad going to happen because of what they had shared. 

“To be honest me neither, I’ve never kissed a dude before-” Dean admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He tried to think of anything else to try and get rid of his erection but the sight of the other guy was still making his stomach twist. It almost felt a little inappropriate seems Castiel was worrying. It did his best to ignore it. 

  
“Me either-” he said shyly, seemingly calming down. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, I’m normally quite reserved. You won’t tell anyone will you?” Castiel asked, kicking his shoes together, looking uncomfortable.

“No. No way, man. That would be like social suicide right? We don’t have to tell anyone.” Castiel stared at him again, looking into his eyes like he was trying to determine if Dean was telling the truth. He looked away then nodded in agreement, he looked reassured Dean was telling the truth. It was a relief.

 

So that was it, they had come to the agreement that neither of them was going to tell. Dean wasn’t sure what was going to happen after that, he didn’t know how to ask. Would they pretend that it had never happened? The thought left something bitter inside him and he tried to push it away.

  
“Well, we’ll have to be careful, right?” Dean felt hopeful at the words, but he didn’t fully understand what they meant. He was just about to ask him when Castiel grabbed him by the hands and lead him into the shower room. “They hardly use these,” he explained as he pushed him into one of the stalls and then locked the door. Dean swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes darting around the small cubical. It was everything that a high school shower was expected to be, the shower head was leaky and the tiling cheap, the floor wet from the constant dripping pipes. At least it was clean.

 

Dean glanced back down to Castiel’s lips, they had been so soft and the feeling was fresh in his memory. They both were leant awkwardly against the crappy red stall dividers, standing parallel to each other. Is that why Castiel had brought them in here, so they could carry on? Maybe Dean was getting ahead of himself and his new found friend just wanted to talk in privacy. 

 

“You can kiss me if you want,” Castiel whispered, his face still red, effectively answering Dean’s silent questions. 

“I—I don’t want to force you into anything, you said you had never kissed anyone before.” He was trying to be a gentleman, to do the right thing; this guy was really good looking so he was either lying about not being kissed before or he had chosen not to. He was assuming it was the latter, he seemed harmless and didn’t look like a liar. He didn’t want to take advantage of him, now he knew more about Castiel - that Dean had been the first person he had ever kissed, he felt bad for his earlier thoughts. Dean didn’t feel particularly special, he didn’t know why Castiel wanted to kiss him but he craved it. His hormones were saying something completely different to his head and as gentlemanly as he was attempting to be he knew what was going to happen. He didn’t really think he could say no to this guy. Castiel wanted Dean to kiss him and he had kissed him first anyway; it wasn’t like he was forcing himself on the guy. Castiel was looking at him like he  _ wanted  _ Dean to press him against the stall and ravish him. 

In a decision that both terrified and excited him, Dean closed the space between them, their bodies lined up and pressed together. He didn’t know where to put his hands, he didn’t know what was okay. He settled for lacing his fingers into the waiting pair that were at their sides. Even such a simple action made him warm inside.

And then Castiel was looking at him again and it felt like he was pulling him apart, tearing down all his barriers and laying him bare.

So he kissed him, softer than before, a simple caress of his lips against the other pair. Castiel’s lips were chapped from the cold gym, but they were warm and made him tingle. He pressed firmer, opening them slightly and feeling the other boy tremble at the touch. He squeezed his hands, in what he hoped was a reassuring manner and then let them go, tangling them into the guy’s dark hair. He gripped Dean’s hips, letting his hands rest on waistband of his gym shorts.

Dean’s emotions were spiraling out of control, all he could think of where those hands on him. He wanted to feel them on his skin. He kissed him deeper, opening his mouth and encouraging Castiel, guiding him, trying to tell him what he wanted with his actions.

Castiel surprised him when he pulled Dean closer, it made their hips align and they gasped into each other’s mouths. The rest came naturally. They were grabbing at each other, touching everywhere they could reach and Castiel pulled at Dean’s shirt, making it obvious he wanted it off. He pulled it over his head without hesitation and let it drop to the floor, he grinned as he watched the other boy do the same. Within seconds they were back on each other, chests pressed together, lips clashing and hands everywhere. Dean squeaked as he felt Castiel’s hands grab his ass and pull them closer. Dean knew he should feel ashamed rubbing himself against a guy he had just met, but all he could think of was that beautiful face, those eyes, the noises he was making and the way he responded to his touch.

It was a little bit strange feeling another guy’s dick pressing against him but when it rubbed against his own it left him gasping, biting at Castiel’s lips and whimpering into his mouth at the sheer need he felt. He even started to like the fact he could feel how turned on the guy was; fuck, he had done this to him, he had made him hard and desperate.

“Dean, please.” Castiel was groaning, pulling away from the kiss and burying his head into his neck. Dean looked down when he felt him shift back and watched in awe as Castiel pulled his shorts and boxers down far enough to get his cock out and started jerking himself off, his teeth scraping into Dean’s shoulder as he whined.

Dean could only stare, watching the hot slide of another guy’s dick in their hand. His body caught up and he pulled his shorts down too, biting into his lip as he grabbed himself. Castiel was watching him, his eyes staring down at their cocks as they clumsily bumped together every other stroke. Dean looked up to his face, eager to see his blissful expression. As soon as those blue eyes met his own Dean was leaning forwards and sharing an obscene kiss as he felt himself tip over the edge. He could feel the wetness of Castiel’s come mix with his own and drip down over his fist.

They stay like that for a while, leant together and catching their breath. When they pulled away they looked at each other’s flushed faces and smiled.

“That was-“

“Wow,” Dean finished.

The first bell rang, warning the end of class and they both exchanged an alarmed look and stumbled to clean up their mess before anyone came to get dressed. They left the shower stall quickly, easily blending in with their noisy classmates.

Dean changed on the opposite side of the room to Castiel and he lost sight of him, it was a big class and there were easily fifty guys in the room. He found him again quickly and was surprised to find he was dressed immaculately in a suit, complete with a blue tie. He looked different and a little odd for school but the style suited him. Dean stared down at his tattered jeans and his plain tee-shirt, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. He tried to catch his eye before he left for his next class and he did. Castiel raised his hand in acknowledgement and smiled, pulling his bag over his shoulder and then exiting out of the other door.

Dean wasn’t sure why but he felt a little disappointed, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he was hoping Castiel would maybe show him to his next class or make plans to meet him later. Dean made it to his next class alone, he had a map but the school has a stupid one-way system, he got there just in time and sat at the back of the room, not interested in English at all. He spent most his time doodling little stick men with angel wings. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean hadn’t got any work done in English and was surprised when the bell rang again. He shot out the door eager to get out of the classroom, feeling like he needed some fresh air. He was still thinking about what had happened, it felt surreal. There was no way that it could have really happened, right? Maybe he had dreamt this guy up? Either way, he couldn’t stop thinking about them eyes, they were beautiful. And that was what surprised him the most, he should have been thinking about the amazing orgasm he had earlier, he had came harder than Castiel than he had with any girl, and the boy hadn’t technically even touched him. But he wasn’t, he was thinking about the fuzzy feeling in his stomach and how fast his heart had been beating when he had been with him.

 

Wow, he was turning into a girl.

 

His stomach grumbled loudly interrupting his thoughts, well, it was nice to know that some things never changed. He made his way to the cafeteria instead and he kept an eye out for Sammy in the crowd as he walked down the corridors, it wasn’t like he could miss him anyway, he was already taller than Dean. Bobby had made them both packed lunches so he made his way straight over to the benches when he didn’t see him on the way there. He found him after wandering around like an idiot for a few minutes, he was glad to see a familiar face.

 

He flopped down in the uncomfortable chair opposite him and dropped his bag to the floor. “So, anything you want to tell me?” Was the first thing his brother said when he sat down. He avoided looking at Sam, guilt twisting in his stomach. Oh, fuck.

 

“What, no, what are you talking about?” he snapped, as he grabbed his lunch box out of his bag.

 

“So nothing happened in gym that you might want to tell me?” he said, staring at Dean like he knew something. Dean was suddenly a mess inside, he should have known not to trust that guy, it was too fucking good to be true. Of course, some hot guy wasn’t going to practically jerk him off in the shower and keep it a secret, oh god, did everyone know? Was he laughing about it with his friends right now? Dean was screwed. Now everyone was going to think he was gay and he really wasn’t. It had just been that angel douche.

 

“No, not really.” He didn’t let his inner turmoil show, on the outside he just shrugged and pulled out his sandwich.

 

“I know you got hit in the face, Dean, are kids picking on you already? Just don’t get in any fights, okay? Bobby will kick our asses and you’ll get me in trouble.” Sam frowned.

 

Dean visibly deflated in relief. With what had happened between them, he had completely forgotten about even being hit. He touched his cheek and winced, it was actually really sore now he remembered it was there. “Oh, no, it wasn’t like that at all, it was an accident, the guy is actually really nice, his name is Castiel. He’s kind of cool.” Dean was going to shrug it off like before but the words just poured out his mouth and he found himself smiling. He took a big bite of his sandwich to cover it up.

 

“So you made a friend?” Dean shrugged in response.  “That’s cool, there’s this guy in my class called Gabriel who’s been showing me around, I think we’ll get on. He said I could study with him for our history project. ” He looked pleased.

 

“Why aren’t you sitting with him then? Or are you not all buddy-buddy yet?” he asked, he hoped Sam would make some friends, he found it hard. He really couldn’t give a fuck about himself, he only had a year left.

 

“He said he was going to the library with his brother. I was going to ask you if you wanted to join us.” Dean pulled a face.

 

“It’s not really my scene, Sam.”

 

“It’s better than being sat by yourself.” Dean groaned and realised he was right but he wasn’t that desperate. He hated libraries and didn’t plan to enter one anytime soon unless it was an emergency. He really didn’t fancy hanging around with Sam and one of his dork friends.

 

“It’s fine, I’ll just stay here. Go have fun with your friend.” Sam looked at him unsurely for a while as Dean continued to glare at him.

 

“What bitch?” he asked, what was his brother’s problem? He had that look on his face like he felt sorry for Dean or something. He didn’t need Sam of all people to feel sorry for him, he would be happy by himself. He could actually do with some space right now, to try to sort out what he was feeling.

 

“Nothing. I just—Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

 

“No, I said no, Sammy, you don’t need me to hold your hand do you?” He knew insulting Sam would get him off his case so he was a spitefully happy when Sam stormed off in a mood.

 

He finished his lunch in silence, contemplating. Sam had scared him, bringing up gym class like that and it made the situation all too real to him. Wow, he had jerked off in front of a guy in the school showers today.

 

Dean watched as the same guy that was plaguing his thoughts walk through the cafeteria, he was seemingly invisible and alone, his eyes focusing on the floor as he passed. Apparently he felt Dean staring because he looked up, right at him and smiled before scuttling off nervously avoiding the other students. Dean looked down at his crotch in dismay; apparently he wanted to do it again.

 

He must be insane.

 

* * *

 

 

Thankfully by the time he had to stand his ‘little problem’ had decided to finally disappear so he could do so without humiliating himself. He checked his schedule to see what class he had next, it was Computer Science. He hoped it would be a joke and he could play games like at his last school. It wasn’t like he wanted to do anything with computers anyway, he wanted to be a mechanic, he knew the basics and that was enough for him.

 

He was the first to arrive and he cursed himself, he hovered at the door not wanting to enter. He thought the classroom was empty but he was wrong and jumped when someone spoke to him. “I’m Mr Lindberg, you must be Dean. You can sit anywhere, I don’t really have seating plans.” He had a thick southern accent and looked a bit scruffy to be a teacher but Dean tried not to judge a book by its cover. He was sat comfortably in a swivel chair at the front of the room, his feet leant on his desk. “You can call me Ash.”

 

“Er, thanks,” he said, coming inside and trying to discreetly find a screen where Ash wouldn’t be able to see him when the lesson started.

 

“You should sit at the front, I spend up my time yelling at the idiots at the back, I’ll move as soon as they arrive, then I won’t be able to see what you’re doing. I get this class every year and it’s always the same. They’re a predictable bunch.”

 

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to-“ Dean had not expected him to say that, he had thought he hadn’t made it obvious, Mr. Lindberg was obviously being sarcastic. Or so he thought.

 

“As long as the work gets done, I don’t care,” he said, shutting his laptop and grinning. “Just don’t go on any porn sites... or explosives.” Dean stared at him confused, he wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. So he just smiled and nodded, finding a seat in the second row and shoving his bag under the desk. Ash came over and explained his username and password to him and logged him on. He seemed like a pretty cool teacher once he got chatting to him. Their conversation was soon drowned out when the class arrived.

 

Everyone found a seat and but Dean didn’t pay attention, he was resetting his password and then looking around in the folders. It was only when a whistle pierced through the sound that he stopped and noticed Ash was standing on the desk at the front of the classroom, they fell silent. “Welcome, class of 2013! Today’s the first lesson of our last year so this year is serious! We have some pretty complicated things to master.” The class groaned. “But not today, today just have some fun!”

 

“Did you forget to do a lesson plan again, Sir?” a cheerleader yelled, swinging on her chair.

 

“You think I plan lessons?” he joked, jumping off the table and walking out the room. Everyone laughed and turned back to their screens and carried on chatting. Dean was just playing on a random game on the internet and thinking this was going to be his favourite lesson when something caught his attention.

 

“Sir, what should I do?” It was Castiel, his deep voice was distinctive against everyone else’s high pitched chatter. Dean leant over in his chair to see where the voice was coming from. The messy haired boy was talking to Ash in the first row, just to the right of him. Ash had obviously been prepared for his question and gave him a book.

 

“You can get started on this, Mr. Novak, this is a college text book but I think you can start to work through it. It’s more in depth of what we will be doing this term. If you do the first chapter I will look it over tonight for you,” he replied and Castiel nodded, opening the book and starting straight away.

 

“Thank you, sir.” Ash smiled and then went to the back of the room as he said he would earlier and broke up an argument between two of the girls.

 

Dean stared at the back of the guys head for a few seconds before turning back to his game to find he had died. He leant back in his chair wondering if Castiel had noticed him when he came in, he wondered why he hadn’t said hello. Castiel Novak. His name was peculiar, he wouldn’t forget it anytime soon. He realised that he hadn’t even told him his second name. He sighed and tried not to make it obvious he was making googly eyes to the nerd in the front row and went back to his game.

 

About half an hour later Microsoft Office opened up on his screen and he cursed as it paused his game, he hadn’t even pressed it. He was about to cross it off when words started typing across this screen.

 

**“Hello, Dean.”**

 

Dean looked around him curiously, everyone was either talking to their friends or playing games, he leant to the right and looked to the first row realising it could only be one person.

 

**_“How do you do that?”_ **

 

**“Quite easily, Mr Lindberg teaches many things if you can read between the lines.”**

 

**_“He seems okay, the guy I had for history first lesson seemed a bit like a psycho.”_ **

 

**“Mr. Crowley can be a bit intense.”**

 

**_“He seemed like a dick.”_ **

 

**“That’s one way of putting it.”**

 

Dean smiled, this guy was funny, he liked him. As much fun as he had been having this lesson just messing around, the highlight was talking to Castiel now. He wondered why nobody was talking to him, he seemed like a bit of a loner. He had seemed so sure of himself when he met him earlier, he had thought he had lots of friends, was maybe one of the popular boys but he could tell now he had no interest in any of that. He was obviously a massive nerd. He liked a nerd. Surely this was a sign of the apocalypse or something. Dean peaked his head around and stared at him again, he was still looking at the screen and reading his way through that hefty textbook. Taking another risk with Castiel today, he typed a message and

 

**_“Hey, I was wondering, do you want to eat lunch with me tomorrow?”_ **

****

He waited anxiously for a reply.

 

**“Sorry, I can’t, I use my lunch period to do extracurricular activities, I have to tutor the freshmen.”**

 

He frowned at the reply, disheartened. It was stupid asking anyway, he knew that, it’s not like he needed to eat lunch with anyone but Sam. He liked eating lunch with Sam, it was their thing. He guessed three would be a crowd.

 

**“We can rain check though ;) It would be way more fun than being stuck with freshmen!”**

 

**“Being with you I mean, though we might have to keep it PG, though.”**

 

Oh fuck, was he really going to talk about that here where other people could see? Dean erased their conversation quickly and used his body to block the screen, aware his cheeks were flaming. He was just going to type a reply but Ash whistled loudly to calm the class and stood on the table again. He closed the document realising that Castiel’s attention was fully on their teacher again, he watched him absorb every word about what they would be doing next weekend in fascination. He noticed the girl next to him giving him a really strange look and he quickly straightened up embarrassed he had been caught. She turned to her friend and started furiously whispering. Great, that was the last thing he needed.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean knew he was being paranoid but he couldn’t help it. Castiel hadn’t been in Math and every time someone looked at him he thought they knew what had happened. Did they know about the changing room? Or had that stupid brat in Computer Science seen some of the conversation? He was panicking. Deep down he knew it was because he was the new guy but still, it didn’t stop him worrying. He was so relieved when the last bell of the day rang and it was time to go home that he practically ran to the impala. He sat inside feeling like he was in a safe haven while waiting for Sam.

 

Unfortunately, it didn’t last long because Castiel was opening the car in front of him and ushering someone into the back seat. Dean’s breath caught and he stared, unsure what to do. Castiel noticed him once he had shut the back door and was blushing so hard that he could see it from where he was sitting; he ducked his head shyly and held his hand up in a small wave. Castiel waved back, an obvious smile on his face before disappearing into the car and avoiding his eye contact until he had pulled out and was driving off. Dean let out a breath and let his head hit the steering wheel.

 

He was smiling and it stretched across his face and refused to disappear. When Sam arrived a few minutes later and asked why he was so happy, he grinned and turned the music up.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean worked at Bobby’s garage after school some days, he wasn’t on the books but his uncle always paid him when he turned up. An evening of fixing cars was definitely on the agenda tonight, after having such a good day it would be the perfect ending.

 

Sam complained loudly as soon as Dean told him they were going over to the scrap yard. They stopped at home first so his brother could collect an unnecessary amount of things to entertain himself, Dean honked the car horn impatiently as he waited.

 

He rolled his eyes when Sam reappeared, the amount of books he had in his arms was just unnecessary, they were only staying until six-thirty. In revenge for making him wait Dean sped the car up once they hit Bobby’s land, he skidded the car in a full circle in the sand making a dust cloud when they reached the parking lot, he laughed as Sam screamed like a girl.

 

“You dick!” the boy screamed. Dean jumped out the impala and ran into the main warehouse laughing.

 

“Hey, Bobby!” he yelled, pulling himself onto one of the desks. The older man appeared from under one of the cars and stood up.

 

“Hey, son! How was your first day? Sam okay?”

 

“He’s reading in the car, I think he made a friend.” Bobby nodded and looked reassured, as if he had been worrying about it though he didn’t say anything about it.

 

“What about you? You look like you pissed someone off.” Bobby frowned and looked disapprovingly at Dean, trying to look at his cheek. Dean pretended to be interested in the folder he was half sat on and pulled it from under his ass to look at the day’s appointments. He had forgotten about the bruise. Fuck.

 

“It’s nothing, it happened in gym, it was a ball to the face but I’m okay, the nurse checked me out, said it was fine,” he lied. He didn’t want to make a big deal about it, he didn’t even want to talk about it. Thinking about gym just made him think about Castiel and that reduced him to a blushing mess.

 

“And how does the other kid look?” Bobby said, glaring at him and starting to look annoyed. Dean sighed, he knew what this was about. His dad must have told Bobby about his bad behaviour last year, he had been annoyed when he found they were moving schools, he could admit he was a bit of a dick but it wasn’t as bad as his dad had made out. All his friends were in Lawrence and he hadn’t reacted the best way about leaving, he skipped the last few classes and got a little cheeky to the teachers but he would never hit anyone. Not unless they deserved it. He wasn’t violent. Must be the leather jacket.

 

“I was being honest, Bobby! I was hit by a total nerd and he felt really bad about it, I wasn’t gonna hit him back! He didn’t mean it.” Bobby looked at him sceptically. It was actually a little annoying that his family seemed to have so little faith in him. Bobby came over and took the appointment book off him smearing greasy fingerprints across it and then forcing him to show him his face. He seemed satisfied.

 

“Moving house, new school, your dad’s new job... I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He dropped the book and grabbed a rag off the table to wipe his hands. He laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder, trying to be supportive. Normally it would annoy him but it didn’t he just smiled.

 

“I’m fine, I’m not a girl,” he replied, trying to move away from the subject. And he was being honest, he did feel fine, apart from the whole apparently-I’m-gay-now crisis, he was just dandy.

 

“Good, now get to work, Mrs Mills has brought in her car again,” he said, grabbing a file from the shelf, forcing Dean to hop down off the desk.

 

“She was only in last week! I think she likes you.”

 

“That’s why you are going to deal with her this time.” Dean groaned.

 

* * *

 

 

When he finally finished helping Bobby with the last of the paperwork it was seven o’clock and Sam was getting tired and bratty; he had been inside once it had started to get dark, now he was sat in the office messing around on the computer. They locked up the garage and Dean helped get everything ready for the morning, he knew the drill. Sam did the office and they met by the cars. Bobby said he would drive into town to get dinner and the boys should get ready for bed when they got in, he would meet them later with the food. Dean hated that Bobby babied them a little, when he had lived with his dad he never cared when they went to bed or what they ate, Bobby did. Though he guessed it was more for Sam’s benefit than his own. He pulled into the driveway, slowly this time because Sam got bitchy when he was tired. Sam went straight to their room to get changed.

 

He hated sharing a room with Sam but he knew it was only temporary, they were going to sort out the junk in the spare room this weekend, Dean would move into the new room because Sam had already started unpacking. Something about not wanting to live out of boxes and comic books being ruined. He didn’t care as soon as he got some privacy. He tried not to complain too much because Bobby was trying his best.

 

He could hear Sam moving around and then going to shower, he grinned and sat down at the bottom of the stairs covering his face with his hands. Oh my. _Showers_. Well, that had certainly been a day. He stood up, wiping the grin off his face and decided to face reality for a while longer. If he started thinking about it now he would become a mess of hormones and he didn’t need a boner in front of his brother. It also made him remember it would be a good idea to wash his gym uniform because that could be embarrassing. He dumped it in the washer quickly and then waited until he heard Sam open the bathroom door.

 

“Dude! Laundry!” Dean yelled up the stairs, Sam’s gym bag hit the bottom of the stairs and Dean held it at arm’s length as he made his way back to the kitchen. He shoved that in too and turned on the machine, kind of happy for once he was a bit domesticated. He didn’t want to have to have a weird conversation with Bobby.

 

Bobby came home half an hour later with pizza, garlic bread and salad and dumped it on the coffee table. By now Sam was downstairs watching TV and Dean was trying to read the stupid chapter he had been set in English, he was going to do it before school but they would mean getting up earlier and he couldn’t be bothered. He skimmed through the text and then threw it back in his bag, jumping up as soon as pizza was placed in front of him. Sam got up and went to get cutlery and plates.

 

“Thanks, Bobby,” Dean said around a mouthful of pizza, not bothering with the plate.

 

“No problem, boys.” Bobby disappeared into his office as he always did after work, his own pizza box in his hand. He knew they had their own routine they stuck to and didn’t try to change their habits.

 

Sam glared at him and threw a fork at his head.

 

“What bitch?” he argued, throwing it back. The two squabbled for a bit and it ended with them both on the floor with Dean in a headlock until he called truce. Damn, Sam was getting too big for this, not like he would admit it, he had obviously let him win.

 

After he was stuffed with pizza, (Sam had ate the salad), he made his way upstairs glad to be able to relax and spend some time by himself. Sam would watch TV until around nine o’clock. He grabbed clean underwear and made his way to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door. He stripped his clothes off and stretched. His muscles were aching from working at the garage but it was a good ache that he knew would be soothed from a hot shower.

 

He turned on the water and stepped inside finally letting himself think properly about everything that had happened today. Of course he had thought about it, Castiel had blown his mind but he hadn’t let his thoughts wander. He leant his head against the wall, letting the water stream down his back.

 

_Castiel Novak._

 

He really didn’t know what to make of the guy. He knew he liked him. He had literally swept Dean off his feet, yeah it had hurt and was causing him more grief than necessary but wow, had it been worth it! The chemistry between them was undeniable and Castiel had continued to flirt with him in Computer sciences. Surely he wouldn’t be sending him messages like that if he wasn’t interested. Dean was no virgin, he had lost that last year and had a few experiences with a couple of girls since that but it was nothing compared to what he had shared with Castiel. No—one had kissed him so desperately, held onto him so possessively and he had never felt such a deep connection to another person.

 

It didn’t bother him he was attracted to a guy, he had proved to himself this morning that it turned him on. He hadn’t had time to savour the feeling when it happened but now that he thought about it, it was the little things that had really drove him insane.

 

Dean licked his lips as he remembered, feeling a shiver run through him.

 

Castiel’s voice, the gravely sound of him moaning into his ear and the deep gasps that had made his stomach twist in arousal, he had been dizzy with it. He could feel himself becoming overwhelmed just from thinking about it but in no way was it unwelcome, he embraced it, drove straight into it and unashamed he thought of the experience he had shared.

 

When they kissed, he could feel the soft scratch of stubble across his lips and down his neck where the guy had leant on him, kissed his neck. That mouth had been sinful, he kind of felt special knowing that he was the only one to have kissed those lips. He imaged what he would sound like moaning his name, the way  _“Dean...”_  would fall from his lips. He had whispered into his lips about wanting him, the words sounded illegal and dirtier than anything any girl had ever muttered to him. And the fact that Castiel had kissed him first, actually climbed into his lap and demanded it made Dean feel things he didn’t know were possible. He probably didn’t realise he was being sexy, the naivety, the innocence and the determined nature that Castiel possessed were a big turn on for Dean.

 

Another thing he liked was that Castiel was smaller than him, but not too much, he had felt strong and his muscle defined, firm under his hands. The feeling of his chest pressed firmly against Castiel’s had been a huge surprise, the firmness was something so new but he remembered gripping at him harder, pulling him closer. He had felt really good against him, especially when they were in the shower stalls and he could feel everything.

 

Dean was biting his lip now. He ran a hand down his stomach and watched, trying to see what Castiel had seen when he had stared so openly but his eyes fluttered closed at the thought, mind already moving on. The images that flicked through his mind were of Castiel desperately pulling down his gym shorts and boxers and exposing his swollen cock. Dean sucked in a breath and wrapped his hand around his own dick unable to resist. He started to stroke himself slowly.

 

He didn’t regret what had happened; he just wished it had lasted longer, though they had been on limited time doing it in the middle of a lesson. Someone could have walked in at anytime; the thought of being caught both frightened and excited him. He thought that might have been some of the attraction, gave him some adrenaline and added to the urgency of how it had played out.

 

What Dean really wanted, what he started to think about, was Castiel laid out on a bed somewhere, being able to hover over him and spend time mapping out his skin.  Actually touching him. It had crossed his mind when he had been wanking with the guy, their cocks had touched a few times, the heads brushing together had felt electric but had had wanted to reach out and touch for himself, curious to what it would feel like.

 

Dean bit back a moan. Castiel’s cock was not different to his own, maybe a bit slimmer but the sizes were the same. Would the skin be as soft? Wow, he hoped he was sensitive and could really play with his body until he was a babbling mess. He longed to hear him beg for it, for Dean’s hand, his mouth.

 

Dean couldn’t stop the thoughts that raced through his mind and his grip tightened, his hand jerking quicker and the other coming down to play with his balls. His breathing was becoming heavy again and he gasped at the phantom feeling of Castiel breathing on his skin.

 

Those blue eyes, he wanted them watching him again. He wanted to see the boy gnawing at his lip, cock hard and leaking at what Dean had done to him. He had never wanted something so bad in his life. He was becoming desperate again and what he had planned to stretch out came to a forceful climax and hit him unexpectedly, the twisting in his stomach suddenly snapping and unravelling and he was coming.

 

He almost fell forwards but caught himself, he stayed leaned against the tiles for a long time. In the hazy aftermath, thoughts still swirling around his mind until he realised his fingers were going pruney and he hadn’t even started washing yet.

 

He felt tired and realised what a long day it really had been, too long. He finished quickly, thinking about passing out in bed. By the time he made his way across the corridor to his room he was already falling asleep, he felt completely relaxed. He climbed into bed and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He didn’t even hear Sam come in just over half an hour later, he was dreaming of them bright blue eyes.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter Two - Part One

For the first time since he had moved house, Dean woke up happy. He was refreshed and felt like he could make it through a school day with no complaints. He made sure to grab some clothes and get ready before Sam woke up and took over the bathroom like a teenage girl. He made coffee after and tried to waste time by hanging up the laundry from last night, Bobby had already made their lunches so he had nothing else to do. He was bored once he had finished. He snuck back upstairs and decided that he wasn’t going to let Sam sleep in any longer and took great pleasure in ripping his covers off him while he slept.

 

"Rise and shine!" he sang, Sam turned around and buried his face into his pillow.

 

"Go away," he groaned.

 

"Come on, princess." Dean laughed and then ducked out the room as Sam threw something at his head.

 

Dean pulled up into the school parking lot with Sam sat shotgun about twenty minutes before school started, his brother was out the car as soon as Dean pulled to a stop. Dean leant against the hood for a while, not wanting to be too early.  As he sat there waiting he noticed what looked like Castiel's car a few spaces down. He grinned to himself, letting memories of the other guy take over his thoughts for a few seconds, until he felt like a bit of a stalker, so he looked away trying to convince himself he wasn't bothered. He rolled his eyes and made his way into the building.

 

Dean didn't want to seem desperate, so he didn't  go out of his way to seek out his new friend. In fact, he didn't see him again until the beginning of lunch, and when he did he was surprised to see him talking to Sam. What the hell? He ran to catch them as they turned around the corner, they were heading  towards the library.

 

"Hey!" Dean called after him. Sam turned around as he heard his brother's voice and Castiel stopped walking, they waited for him to catch up. "I see you two have met," he said as soon as he had caught them up. Castiel looked confused for a second. "This is my brother," he explained.

 

"O-oh," he stammered, looking surprised and then between Dean and Sam as if trying to see the resemblance.

 

"Dean, Castiel is Gabriel's big brother. I just asked him if it would be okay if I went to his house to do my history project. That's okay with you, right Dean? He said he could give me a lift home if you are working," Sam said as convincingly as possible, with a goofy smile on his face. Castiel nodded and then looked unsurely at Dean.

 

"I cook dinner at six-thirty, he's more than welcome to stay. I'm not sure what time you would want him home?" he asked, his blue eyes bearing into Dean again. He didn't mean to but he just stared back. This had just got weird. The whole getting-off-with-a-guy-from-school had been exciting... until Sam wanted to go to his house. Why did Sam have to ruin everything?! He weighed the options over in his mind until he decided it would be wrong to deny Sam spending time with the one friend he had made. He tried to think if an excuse to say no but in the long run he knew that would be selfish...

 

"Please, Dean?" Sam begged and Dean pulled his gaze away to look at his brother again.

 

"Er, yeah, I don't see why not." He looked back to  Castiel, trying to see what he was thinking.  Was this okay? If was difficult to determine if the other man was just being polite to Sam. He looked completely out of his comfort zone but Dean wasn’t sure whether it was to do with Sam going to his house, or the fact that Dean was Sam's brother. "And this is okay with Gabriel, right Sam?" he asked, just to be sure.

 

"Duh, of course."

 

"AH!" Dean yelled out, as a kid  who had  appeared out of thin air, caught him completely unaware. The little shit laughed at the surprised look on Dean's face and Dean tried not to flush in embarrassment in front of Castiel. It was clearly his brother, Gabriel; he was short, had unruly brown hair, a cheeky smile and a mischievous look about him.

 

"Is your brother always weird?" he turned and asked Sam, and Dean glared at him.

 

"Yeah," Sam agreed, nodding, and the two laughed.

 

"Gabriel, you shouldn’t be rude to Dean or he might not let Sam come over tonight. Think about that. Now go ahead, I will be with you in a few minutes." Gabriel pulled a face at his brother and then carried on to the library, dragging Sam along the way. "Please ignore my brother; I try to pretend we aren't related."  Though Castiel said it seriously, he was obviously joking, Dean could tell by the small smile that appeared after he had spoken.

 

"Little bros, huh?" he replied and an awkward silence lapsed between the two of them. They exchanged a few uncomfortable glances, and Castiel looked like he wanted to say something the entire time, but no words came. He was smiling at the floor and it made Dean want to smile too.

 

"So... tonight?” Dean prompted, feeling like an idiot as he stood in the corridor, seems they were both just staring and smiling at each other. “Will you take him from school or do you want me to drop him off?”

 

“I can take him from school.”

 

“Okay, well I can pick him up, I'm not working tonight,” he explained. Castiel nodded and smiled at him again.

 

“That all seems very reasonable,” he replied, and Dean tried to stamp down the feeling blossoming in his chest at the sight. He could feel his palms start to sweat and he discreetly shoved them in his pockets.

 

“So... So if I could get your address or number? I'll just need to let our uncle know where he's going. You know how parents are, crazy protective and all that," he rambled, and internally kicked himself. Why couldn’t he control his mouth?! Dean had never been so apprehensive about asking for somebody’s cell number before; he felt no edge with the fear of rejection.  Castiel didn’t seem to notice Dean’s nervousness and nodded in agreement. He pulled a pen out from the inside pocket of his blazer and stepping intimately close, he grabbed Dean's wrist firmly and scribbled a number on the inside. Dean held still for a second, memories of the last time they had been so close flooding his mind, his mouth went dry at the thought.

 

"So you can't lose it," Castiel whispered. Dean snatched his arm back and took a sudden step backwards as he remembered where they were.

 

“Dude, personal space,” he muttered, not really meaning it. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed but no-one seemed to care. "So you can take him to yours and I'll pick him up, does that sound like a plan?" He smiled nervously, his palms were sweating again.

 

"That sounds practical; I will set them up in the study. We have more than enough resources and materials in there for them to get a good grade." Dean was not sure what to say. What was he supposed to say to that? He was far from thinking about Sam's history grade that was for sure. He was excited about having Castiel’s numbe, but he was still uneasy about the situation. It was clear that whatever chemistry they had felt yesterday was still there, he hoped they were on the same page about all of this.

 

"I don't want this to be awkward, okay? I want my brother to have friends," Dean blurted out, deciding to try and be honest. He had never been really good at talking about his feelings, but Castiel was very easy to talk to. And it was _Sam_ , he didn't want to ruin a possible friend for him because he was thinking with his dick.

 

"Why would it be awkward?" The other man looked genuinely confused and Dean was relieved to see that, the expression on his face was kind of endearing too. Castiel was nothing but adorable and Dean found himself unable to stop smiling again.

 

"Well, you know because of what happened between us yesterday," he explained, letting his voice drop low.

 

"I would like to assure you the two things are completely unrelated and shall remain that way." Castiel smiled at him again, this time wider and with a knowing look in his eye, and Dean felt his brain turn to mush.

 

"Well good, because I don't want to ruin anything that might potentially develop, I mean, between Sam and Gabriel or-or-" Dean fumbled over his words and then made some vague gestures. Castiel was staring at him, his smile forming into a grin as he slowly realised Dean was becoming flustered around him.

 

"Me and you?" Castiel finished, a playful, flirty look on his face like he had yesterday.

 

"Yeah," he agreed dumbly.

 

"Well good, I would like to see you more. I think there is something between us, Dean. I can feel it, and I think you can feel it too.   Sam coming over would be a good reason for you to visit me." Oh wow, now he was hitting on him in the freaking hallway.

 

"I just thought you might not want to see me, you said yesterday you were tutoring or something." Dean hadn't even meant to say that, it just came out and he tried to fight down yet another blush at the admission.

 

"Dean, I really am tutoring but that's while I'm at school, and I'm actually-" he looked at his watch, "-a little late, but tonight after school I'm going to be alone and babysitting two fourteen year olds. You have my number; I think you can put the pieces together." He winked and walked off towards the library leaving Dean standing there speechless.

 

What the hell had just happened?

 

* * *

 

 

Driving home without Sam was kind of strange. He had watched him drive off in Castiel's fancy BMW instead. The guy looked so small in such a large fancy car, it practically swallowed him. He couldn't help but think about what they said about guys and big cars, that they had small—Oh, great, now he was thinking about the guy's dick again. He stared down at his own groin as he hit a red light.

 

"What the hell wrong with me?" he groaned.

 

When he got home Bobby was at work so he had the house to himself. On any other day this would be a great time to watch some porn or do something questionable but he just collapsed on the sofa and flicked on the television, completely disinterested. He stared at the number on his arm, knowing he would have to make the first move. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and punched the number in as he opened the  messaging screen.

 

**_Hey_ **

 

Dean, started to type, before he realised he didn’t know how to spell his name. He didn't want to spell it wrong and look like a douche. 

 

**_Cas_ ,**

 

That would do. 

 

**_this is Dean Winchester txtin u my number. Hope Sam is behaving!_ **

 

He hit send knowing that he was being ridiculous; he probably wouldn't even text back. It beeped instantly; he didn't even have a chance to put it down.

 

 **\+ 240-665...**  
**Received 15:50**  
**Hello Dean, Sam and Gabriel are in the office as we discussed, just making them a snack. How's school been so far?**

 

Dean's mood instantly brightened and his attention focused on his phone.

 

**_It's been alrite, I got hit in the face with a ball but the guy was sweet so its ok. :P_ **

 

He felt like he was being a bit risky with the flirting but he figured if it had been a girl he wouldn't be worried, so he tried not to now.

 

 **+240-665...**  
**Received 15:55**  
**I can't believe that happened! I'm so sorry. I mean, apart from me attacking you?x**

 

Dean stared at the text, at the little cross at the end, it made him feel oddly happy.

 

**_Oh, you attacking me was the highlight of my day!_ **

 

He was trying to be cheeky but not to push too much, he didn't want to scare him off.

 

 **+240-665...**  
**Received 15:59**  
**I do believe you are flirting with me? I hope I didn't scare you, I was a little forward.x**

 

**_It was a bit unexpected but definitely welcome!_ **

 

 **+240-665...**  
**Received 16:03**  
**I was hoping you would take my earlier offer? Maybe come over? Seeing as your brother and mine are friends. What are the chances of that?x**

 

**_Of me coming over or our brothers being friends?_ **

 

He hesitated before adding  ** _X_** at the end.

 

 **\+ 240-665...**  
**Received 16:06**  
**... Both?x**

 

Dean stared at that text for a long time, he had just met him but his interest was intimidating. He didn’t just want to get off with Castiel, it was more than that, he wasn't even expecting that to happen. He wanted to talk to him, to have a conversation with him where he wasn't afraid that someone was going to overhear. He thought Castiel was interesting and undeniably sweet, and another thing he liked was that he trusted him with Sam, he hadn't worried at all about him going to his house.

 

He jumped when his phone beeped again, speak of the devil.

 

 **Sam**  
**Received 16:15**  
**Dean, I'm in a MANSION right now and Castiel made me a sandwich. You never make me snacks. Can I stay for dinner? Gabe says it's ok.**

 

Dean frowned, ungrateful brat. He decided to make a move and call Castiel. If Sam was asking to stay for dinner he should make sure that it was okay. He didn't know if he would want him around for that long. He hit call on his phone, it answered on the third ring.

 

"Hello?" Castiel’s voice was deeper on the phone than in person, it made Dean blush and he almost stumbled over his words again. He caught himself in time.

 

"Hi, it's Dean, Sam just texted me asking if he could stay for dinner. Is that okay?"

 

"Yes, no problem, I always make too much anyway!"

 

…

 

"Did you still want me to come over?" Dean asked.

 

"Yes!" The other man sounded relieved. "Of course, we're having tagliatelle, do you like chicken and bacon and mushrooms?" Wow, no wonder Sam wanted to stay, vegetables and French sounding things.

 

"That sounds great, soooo, erm, what time do you want me to come over?"

 

"... Now?" Dean's grin split his face.

 

"Cool, just text me the address, I'll be there."

 


	3. Chapter Two - Part Two

Dean wasn't sure why but he showered before he left the house and gave himself a once over in the mirror. He left a note on the fridge for Bobby explaining they were studying at a friend's house and scribbled Castiel's number down too just in case. He didn't feel like getting a new one torn by Bobby.

 

He followed directions on Google Maps on his phone and was at Castiel's house within twenty minutes. Sam had been exaggerating when he said it was a ‘mansion’ but it certainly wasn't small either. They had a long gravel drive and a familiar car was parked in front of a large window next to another that was identical. The house itself was large and looked fairly new, he wondered if they had moved in recently. There was a clear extension on the left side of the house, so it was shaped like a large, sideways ‘L’.

 

Castiel must have been waiting or must have heard him pull up because he was hovering on the threshold of the open front door when he looked up.

 

"Nice Car!" Was the greeting he got as he climbed out and locked the door. Dean beamed at the compliment and was oddly flattered that Castiel liked it.

 

"I've been fixing her up for ages at my uncle's yard, I did such a good job he said I could keep her," he explained, looking at her proudly. It was still a little surreal that Bobby had given him a car but he guessed the guy felt bad that his dad had dumped him and Sam.

 

"I'm impressed, I'm hopeless with cars; I can't even change the oil." Dean was vaguely horrified to hear that, but looking at Castiel he didn’t have the heart to tease him. He just nodded and thought about teaching him a few things one weekend.

 

Castiel stepped inside and gestured for Dean to follow, he toed off his shoes automatically, he felt very out of place in the large hallway. He tried not to stare at his surroundings. He followed him into the kitchen and over to a breakfast bar where there were a few books spread out, the other guy closed them all as he sat down and pushed them out of the way.

 

"Sorry, my work from bible class. Gabriel's supposed to be doing it with me anyway but seems he has a friend here it's okay." Dean was surprised and he tried not to show it and offend the other man. He didn't know anyone religious and had never even been to church, he didn't want to say the wrong thing so he kept his mouth shut and just smiled politely. He was completely gobsmacked that the guy he had been molesting yesterday was a church boy.

 

"Would you like a coffee? Soda?" he asked, Dean nodded, glad for the change in subject.

 

"Coffee, I guess, milk and sugar." Castiel looked happy to get busy making it, he watched him go through the motions.

 

"I liked it when you called me Cas earlier when you texted me, no one's given me a nickname before." Castiel was blushing and Dean was  definitely trying hard not to stare.

 

"Oh." Dean tried not to blush, he didn't want to admit he hadn't been sure how to spell his name; he didn't want to seem stupid. "Well good, I think it suits you, Castiel is a bit of a mouthful. You don't mind right?"

 

Castiel smiled. "No, it's nice. So, what brings you to this town anyway? You have a twinge in your accent; I was thinking you can't be from around here."

 

"Oh, my dad's a marine, he had a local placement so he could come home on the weekends but he got promoted and has been moved to Cape Town, so we're staying here with our uncle." Bobby wasn't really their uncle but they had always called him that but he didn't really want to go into all of that, it was complicated.

 

"So you've been here before? I was going to ask if you wanted me to show you around." He leant against the sideboard, waiting for the kettle to boil. Dean noticed he had taken off his blazer that he wore to school, it was on the back of the chair and he looked smaller without the bulk of it. He was curious why he dressed that way but he just shrugged it off in his mind, he didn't want to be rude. Maybe his parents were strict?

 

"Nahh, used to come here as a kid all the time, even lived here before my mom died. Nothing's really changed." He shrugged. It was small and boring here and he didn't want to stay here forever, that was for damn sure. Castiel finished making their drinks and handed him one as he sat back down. “Oh, thanks.”

 

They smiled at each other and he felt butterflies in his stomach; he looked down embarrassed, knowing he must be so obvious.

 

"Look I feel we should talk about what happened this week, between us..." Dean said, staring into his coffee. He looked up unsurely

 

"Okay, what would  _you_  like to happen? We've just met and things have escalated quickly... Now you are here and we've kind of got this flirty thing going on...”  Cas blushed as he said it. “I think you're interesting but I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't kissed anyone, so I don't want this to be about that,  I’m knew to all of this,” he continued. “I would be happy if we became friends or, maybe more if things happen that way but just not right now.  But... I don't want to tell anyone." He spoke slowly and looked at Dean worriedly, like he didn't want to hurt his feelings. He hadn't of course, what he said kind of sounded perfect.

 

"That sounds good, I think we should be friends and see what happens from there. Our brothers are friends and Sam kind of... struggles so I don't want things to become awkward and ruin it for him. And I don't want to tell anyone. I mean, I'm not gay and you're not gay, I get that; let's just keep it quiet." Castiel was nodding at him, looking over the top of his own coffee mug.

 

"Yes, okay. Just, let's not over think it too much, let's just see what happens," Cas said, looking a bit more sure of himself now. "I mean, you know I like you and I know you like me but there's no rush for anything and no one's making any assumptions."

 

"Right. That's the plan. I just don't want to hurt your feelings; hormones are crazy at this age right?"

 

"So I'm told: experimentation is healthy," Cas said, wiggling his eyebrows and Dean couldn't help it, he laughed, then the other guy joined in and they were giggling pointlessly for a while until they fell into a comfortable silence.

 

"This is an awesome house, is it just you and Gabriel that live here? Like with mom and dad?" Dean asked, trying to even the field. He had told Castiel a little about him, he wanted to know more about Cas now. Cas shook his head no, his eyes going wide.

 

"Woah, I wish. No, I have two twin brothers, Michael and Lucian, they go to the college in the city but they're home most weekends, they are complete asshats—"  The sound of a loud, high pitched beep cut him off. "It's Gabriel, we use the intercom on the house phone to talk, it doesn't matter how loud you yell, we can't hear each other." He sighed and hit the intercom.

 

"CASSSSSSTTTTIIIEEEEEEL, we can't find that book you told us about, it's not heeeerreeee." Cas turned to Dean and rolled his eyes.

 

"It's on the shelf, by the window where I told you it was," he answered.

 

"It's not theeerrreeee, come and get it!" That kid was whiney. Dean was waiting for Sam to whine like that because if he did that at this guy’s house and embarrassed him, he would punch him.

 

"Gabriel, no, I'm err... doing bible studies, I'm not moving until dinner, find it yourself," he lied, grinning at Dean and winking.

 

"But it's not –" They were cut off by the intercom again.

 

"Seriously guys, I'm on the phone, fuck off," came a girl's voice.

 

"ANNA!" Castiel snapped, looking really annoyed. "Don't swear in front of the children."

 

"Whatever."

 

"Got it," came Gabriel's voice a second later.

 

"Good, I'm unplugging this phone." Castiel unplugged the cable and turned back to Dean. "I get annoyed when he plays with the intercom. Oh and that was Anna, she's always pissy, she's a year younger than me. But anyway, kids are always coming and going in this house, me and Gabriel are adopted, so we're not related to them all but the Milton's are always fostering kids." Dean almost choked on his coffee when he took an unintentionally large gulp, he hadn't been expecting that.

 

"Sorry," he said, not sure if he was apologizing for the interruption or the fact he had told him he was adopted, it sounded tough.

 

"It's okay, I don't remember them, our parents are very kind and give us many things we require and even a lot we don't. I'm very grateful." He smiled and then pushed his mug away, obviously finished and Dean realised that he had finished too. "They're away with the church at the moment. They are holding a big festival in the city. It's lonely here but it's okay, I understand that they need to celebrate their beliefs and spread the word of God." Dean shifted uncomfortably, he knew how it felt to feel lonely at home, they could relate there. But it made him a bit awkward that they all seemed to be so big on the church. Is that what normal families did? Go to church? Cas must have noticed because his expression changed."Sorry, I know it's strange, I'll try not to talk about it."

 

"N- no, it's not," Dean spluttered, trying to defend him. He wasn't sure why but he didn't want Castiel downplaying something that was obviously so important to him. "You can talk about it, I just- I don't know about any of that... stuff."

 

"Thank you, but it's fine. Come on, you can help me with dinner."

 

* * *

 

 

 Dean enjoyed spending time with Cas, the conversation flowed smoothly and he showed Dean a lot about cooking. He was a really good teacher and explained everything as he was going along, making Dean try to do everything himself. Normally Dean hated cooking but he thought with Cas’ help that it was great. They spent all their time laughing in the kitchen and drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee. They even had a bit of a food fight, Cas laughing loud and hanging off Dean, making his breath catch. They managed to calm down and get it cleaned up in time to serve the food. Cas let Dean press the intercom and Sam was so confused when he heard Dean. Anna appeared and went up to her room with hers, Dean thought it annoyed Cas a bit, especially the flirty look she gave Dean but he didn't comment.

 

Afterwards the boys ran back upstairs and Dean washed the dishes and Castiel dried them and put them away. He was so content that he didn't even notice that it was getting dark outside until he got a text from Bobby.

 

**Bobby**   
**Received 20:18**   
**Just got your message, do you want me to cook for you? Start making your way home within the next half an hour boys. Bobby.**

 

"Thanks for inviting me over, I had a really fun night," Dean said kindly, a little disappointed that it was time to go so soon. He stood up, signalling he was going to leave. Castiel looked at the clock on the wall and frowned.

 

"I didn't realise it was getting late. Sorry we didn't do much, my house is really boring." He shrugged.

 

"No, I had fun, honest." Dean jumped to his defence again and he wasn't lying. He hadn't had this much fun in a long time. Castiel smiled and looked down bashfully.

 

"I'm pleased," he admitted.

 

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at school?" he asked, he would like to see Cas more at school. Dean hadn't really made any friends yet and now Sam was hanging around with Gabriel, he felt like spending this time with Cas would be great. He already felt like they were friends.

 

"Of course, if I unintentionally ignore you, just grab me after school, I'm free again tomorrow if you want to do something? You could meet me in the car park if you don't see me, you've parked by me twice now." He was grinning as he said it.

 

"I didn't mean to, it was a coincidence."

 

"Suuure," Cas teased. Dean went to move out the room but ended up hovering. He didn't want to go. He would be quite happy here all night. Cas walked around the breakfast bar and stood in front of him, looking up at him.

 

"So, would it be weird if I ...?" Cas trailed off, staring at Dean as if he should know what he was trying to say. He did. He was thinking it himself. Their eyes were locked on each other's mouths and Dean licked his lips, stepping further into Cas' personal space, the other guy stayed where he was. The close proximity was making Dean a bit fuzzy, making him wonder what he was doing. He didn't know but it felt right.

 

He wanted to kiss him but Sam was upstairs and he felt torn. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Cas' shoulders and stepped into a hug. He felt the other man’s  arms circle around his waist and they rested their heads on each other shoulders. They stood there for a while just enjoying the feeling.

 

"I really like you," Dean whispered, gripping Castiel as if he was afraid he would leave him at a moments notice. Cas kissed his neck softly in response, just once, and Dean smiled at the warm feeling that exploded in his chest.  

 

The intercom buzzed and  Cas gave him one final squeeze and stepped away to accept it.

 

"Dean, Bobby says we have to go; he says he text you but you ignored him. I'm just getting my stuff now."

 

Cas walked Dean awkwardly back to the front door where he slipped his shoes back on. Cas reached out and squeezed his hand softly. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned, catching his gaze.

 

"Bye." Cas was staring at him too and it was turning Dean to mush.

 

"Bye," he said, stupidly. He was losing his words and he felt like an idiot. "I'm going now." Castiel grinned and leaned up to kiss Dean's cheek quickly, seconds before Sam and Gabriel came thundering down the stairs. He took a good few steps backwards.

 

"Get your project done boys?" Castiel asked, staring down at Gabriel.

 

"Well, most of it. We did stop for a few breaks but we'll get it done," he said, he didn't look interested in talking to his brother at all, like he wanted to be somewhere else. He was suddenly glad him and Sam actually enjoyed spending time together. Sam said his goodbyes to Gabriel and Cas and was about to walk past Dean when the older boy grabbed his collar.

 

"What do you say?" he said, in full big brother mode.

 

"Oh, thank you for having me over for dinner," he replied, grinning.

 

"You're very welcome." Castiel nodded at him kindly. Sam scowled at Dean and pulled himself free, Dean kicked his ass as he walked out.

 

"Sorry about him, he thinks he's above manners." He walked backwards out the door, fishing his keys from his pocket.

 

"It's fine, I'll see you tomorrow."

 

The way home was easy, as Dean remembered the route perfectly. He was so busy thinking about his time with Cas that he forgot to turn the music on and ended up listening to Sam babble on about how cool Gabriel was. He didn’t care, it was a good excuse to stay quiet and just swim in what he was feeling.

 

Dean was so fucking happy.

 

He ran straight to his room, happy to hide from Sam and Bobby. He didn’t doubt whether Cas would text him straight away. The minute he was under his covers, his phone lit up as he lay in bed, grinning like a complete idiot.

 


	4. Chapter Three - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [casweaters](http://casweaters.tumblr.com/), [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/), and [poisonousdame](http://poisonousdame.tumblr.com/)

The next few days passed in a blur for Dean; he was busy with school, the homework load a lot higher than what he was used to. He had also been at the garage the past three evenings because he knew Bobby was struggling, even though the older man wouldn’t admit it. It was only at night when things calmed down that he actually got to speak to Castiel. They spent a lot of time texting and sharing late night phone calls; sometimes they whispered until early in the morning, falling asleep on the phone together.

 

Dean didn't see his new friend after school the next day as they had planned, his parents came home early and apparently he wasn't allowed out. Castiel didn't invite him over again and Dean didn't ask.. It was a bit of a bummer and Dean was more than disappointed because he hadn't seen him for days, but it was Friday now and he was hoping he would be allowed out at the weekend. Castiel hadn't done anything wrong after all and Dean felt like the guy was grounded. When he mentioned it to Cas he just changed the subject. He really didn't want to push it because it wasn't as if his friend was ignoring him, they texted each other constantly, he didn't want to come across as clingy.

 

They were still flirting heavily, whether by text or when they spoke before bed. Dean thought about kissing him all the time - when he was at school, at home, at the garage and especially in the shower. He was sure he hadn't jacked off so much in his life, this guy must have been trying to kill him. He wasn't complaining.

 

Dean saw him in the car park after school and he ran over, eager to have a word with him before he disappeared. Castiel was sat in his car waiting for Gabriel, Dean made him jump when he let himself into the car.

 

"Nice car," he greeted, mirroring Castiel's words to him the other night. In all honesty, Dean wasn't overly impressed by the car at all as he looked around, it was like it was trying too hard, but he should probably keep that opinion to himself.

 

"You startled me!" Castiel laughed, punching Dean in the arm playfully. "What are you doing here?" he asked, turning in his seat and grinning widely. Dean smiled and stopped thinking about the car, distracted as he looked at his friend. He was once again startled by the brightness of his eyes and the sight of his smile. The playful banter quickly wiped from his mind as he came face to with his wanking material for the first time in three days.

 

"I wanted to see you; it's Friday and Bobby says I don't have to help at the shop, I thought we could go somewhere." Dean watched as Castiel's smile dropped slightly and he avoided eye contact. Dean could see the mild panic written on Castiel’s face, and he knew that Cas was trying to make an excuse. It knocked his confidence a little and he slumped slightly in the seat, less excited to be around Castiel than mere seconds ago. Maybe he had made this whole thing up in his head? He didn’t want to jump to conclusions so he waited patiently and didn’t call him out on it.

 

"I fear I won't be able to get away tonight, my parents have been making me help a lot with their church work. I don't know if I'll be finished in time. It might be a bit late before I can come out," Castiel explained finally, but he looked sincere, Dean didn’t think he was lying. He brushed aside his paranoia for a second in hope that Cas really did want to spend some time with him.

 

"Well, how late are we talking here?" Dean he didn't care if he had to wait around for a while, it would be more than worth it.

 

"Maybe... midnight?" Castiel stared at him, looking very unsure if it would actually be midnight or not. Dean’s confidence dipped further.  Was Castiel actually going to take that long? Or he was trying to put Dean off by the time?

 

"You don't have to come out if you don't want to, Cas, I thought it might be nice to go for a drive or something," Dean said, trying not to look too bothered.

 

"No, I really, really want to come out, I just..." He trailed off and fiddled with his seatbelt.

 

"What? Talk to me, come on, we've done more awkward things than planning a midnight drive." Dean laughed, trying to lighten the tone of the conversation which was quickly turning sour..

 

"I don't think I'll be allowed. I was going to wait until my parents were asleep. They've been so strict with me lately." It was obviously bothering him because he looked a bit upset. Dean understood immediately why he had been trying to skirt around the issue; parents could be terribly over protective and demanding, and it was clear that Castiel’s were as strict as they come.

 

"You were going to sneak out? I don't want you to get into trouble for my sake; we can do something another day if you like," he offered. He didn't want to but he was trying to be polite and considerate. He didn’t want Cas to think he was a douche.

 

"No! It's fine! Meet me at the end of the street at midnight and we'll go for a drive.” Cas looked excited at the prospect, and Dean happily ignored his nagging conscience. Really he should tell him to stay at home if his parents didn’t want him out, but Dean reasoned that he had done a lot worse himself than sneaking out, it would probably be fine! It wasn’t like they were going to get caught. Besides, Cas was a big boy, he could make decisions for himself.

 

“Okay, then.” Dean flashed him a grin, showing him how pleased he was. 

 

“When do you have to get home? If I come out, my parents leave for work really early so there's no point coming home... Could I come over to your house?" Castiel spoke quickly as if he didn't want to miss the opportunity, that seemed good enough for Dean. He really didn’t think Cas sleeping over would be a good idea, Sam would totally grass him in to Bobby, and where would he sleep anyway? He turned the options around in his mind until he came up with a solution.

 

"Bobby doesn't mind what I do on the weekends; I can tell him I'm staying at a friend's and we could stay out," he suggested, trying to hide the fact he felt like his heart was  beating overtime at the thought.

 

Cas raised an eyebrow at him. "Out-out? Like in the car?" He looked baffled at the idea but his toothy smile was back again.

 

"Yeah sure, why not? It would be an adventure."

 

Cas was about to reply when their conversation was interrupted by Gabriel opening the back door and throwing his bag in.

 

"Hey, Deano!" he yelled as he climbed in. Dean noticed Sam hovering outside the door.

 

"Hey," he said, twisting around in his seat and waving at the little guy. He ignored Sam for just a second while he said goodbye to Castiel. "Text me," he said, giving him a pointed look and the guy nodded enthusiastically.

 

"Okay, I'll text you. Bye, Dean." Dean winked at him and then climbed out the car, happy he was finally going to get some time alone with Cas.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel texted him as soon as he got home; they confirmed the plan to sleep in the Impala that night and  had agreed midnight would be the best time. Dean stared at the clock in dismay, it was only four o'clock.

 

Sam was playing on the computer in Bobby's office, so he had loads of time to himself and no one to bother him. Dean had complained he had been so busy all week and now he had some free time he didn't know what to do with it.

 

He started looking through boxes and suitcases in his room and got increasingly annoyed that he couldn't find the jeans he wanted to wear. He kicked one of them in frustration but ended up hurting his foot. He winced. Dean had officially had enough of sharing with Sam, he wouldn't have to sleep out if he had his own space! Bobby would probably let Cas sleep over if he got his room sorted.

 

Making up his mind, he pulled on the first clean things he found and decided to make a start on sorting out the spare room. It certainly passed the time; he pushed everything that wasn't his to one side of the room and cleaned the other space. He made sure to put other things into a good place in the house, tools went to the garage and anything that was labelled 'Karen' he took to the basement. Within an hour he had enough space for the bed. He already had a wardrobe and some draws in there, which he was really pleased about, it was one less thing to shift. He made easy work of moving the bed in there and was pleased when he unpacked his clothes because most of the hard work was done. He still had a lot of unpacking and a wall full of Bobby's boxes, but overall he felt good about it.

 

He admired his handiwork for a few minutes until he realised he smelled awful. He went for a long shower, shaved and was happy to slip into his favourite jeans that he had finally found.

 

Dean thought about making dinner but when he arrived downstairs he noticed Bobby had left two envelopes on the kitchen table, one with Dean's wages in and the other with Sam's allowance. He threw it at his brother and after a bit of squabbling they decided to go out for dinner. They met Bobby at the shop at closing time and went to a family diner.

 

At the end of the meal Sam and Bobby didn't question him when he ordered two slices of cherry pie to take away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean shoved a blanket and a pillow into a bag as he made his way downstairs, he headed straight for the fridge and grabbed a few cans of soda, a couple of bottles of water and his pie. When he popped his head into Bobby's office it was a quarter past eleven, the man was steadily working his way through a crate of beer.

 

"I'm headed out, Uncle Bobby; Sam's fine, he's asleep, I'll be back tomorrow to pick him up and help at the shop." He hadn't mentioned to Bobby he was staying out, he knew it was best to wait until he was relaxed and everything was done, then he couldn't complain. His plan worked because he just raised the bottle at him and went back to reading.

 

Dean climbed into the Impala and turned the heat on high, he had a stack of his favourite tapes ready and made his way to Cas' with a grin. When he pulled up at the end of the street he sent a text nervously letting him know he was outside. He was fifteen minutes early so he didn't expect him for a while. He just really hoped he wouldn't get stood up.

 

He stared at his phone waiting for a reply but there was nothing. He got sidetracked on facebook trying to find Castiel but there were no results when he searched his name. He frowned, everyone had facebook. He jumped as the car door opened. Castiel climbed in looking completely scandalised that he was there, he buried his face into hands and laughed softly.

 

"You okay?" Dean asked, Cas nodded and then moved his hands to look at Dean.

 

"I did something bad," he said.

 

"What, apart from sneaking out at midnight?" Cas grinned and nodded slowly.

 

"I'll show you in a minute, let's get out of here."

 

Dean didn't hesitate.

 

He drove them up to the local lake, there was a place in there where he and Sammy used to go as kids and he thought it would be perfect to park up there. He knew for a fact that no one really went there apart from people walking their dogs. Cas looked around curiously outside.

 

"I've never been here before."

 

"Oh, well, you're in for a treat. The sky's really clear, I used to come here with Sam and stargaze when we were kids." Dean pulled up slowly and turned the headlights off, he left the engine on for the heater and flicked on the light. He was surprised to see that Cas was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a thick sweater, it was strange to see him out of his suit but he looked kind of cute.

 

"Come on, let's get in the back," Dean suggested, and they climbed over the seat. They got comfortable and both pulled out their blankets and kicked off their shoes. Castiel handed his bag to Dean. He looked at him questionably. Cas grinned and hid his face again. Dean looked inside and was surprised to find a bottle of whisky, he pulled it out slowly, impressed.

 

"You my man, are a legend." Castiel visibly blushed. Dean wasting no time in opening it, and he drank a deep pull of the liquor before passing it to Castiel. His friend's actions were surprising; the thought of bringing alcohol hadn't crossed his mind.

 

"My dad was being a complete dick so I stole it."

 

"Rebel," Dean laughed. "I brought us a small present too." He opened his bag that was on the parcel shelf and handed Cas the pie. "I don't know if you like it, but it's my favourite." Cas nodded and thanked him when he opened it.

 

"I didn't think I would be doing this tonight," he admitted, taking a bite, his face showing his clear pleasure in the flavour. "This is good pie."

 

"I know right. I'm glad you're here, I was kinda scared you wouldn't show."

 

"No way, I was excited about tonight."

 

"Good."

 

They spent the next half an hour or so finishing their pie and passing the whisky bottle between the two of them. Dean grabbed a soda as well not wanting to get too drunk and they sipped at that too. Dean decided to turn the engine off while he was sober enough, it was really warm and it was a good idea in the long run because he would have forgotten. It was obvious neither of them drank very often, they were already affected by the alcohol and by the time half the bottle was gone they were laughing stupidly and lounged against each other.

 

"I really like you," Dean muttered, turning to look at him, "You're funny. I can't believe you stole booze from your dad. I thought you were such a good boy, way to break the stereotype." Cas lifted his head off Dean's shoulder.

 

"Like I said, he deserved it. He was moaning that I don't take school seriously enough. I do, I take school so serious, to the point I have no friends." He pouted, his cheeks were flushed. Dean didn't feel sorry for Castiel because he was happy at school, but it did make him feel strangely annoyed at Cas' dad.

 

"You have me, and dude, you're like the smartest person I know." And Dean meant it, Cas was crazy smart, he wasn’t sure how he managed it.

 

"Well, I wish they would realise that, they want me go to college with Michael and Lucian but I don't want to." He frowned and Dean didn’t like such an unhappy expression on his face, it didn’t look right, Castiel was made for smiling. Dean reached out with a hesitant hand and slowly traced his fingers across his face until the frown disappeared. Cas sighed softly, content at the touch.

 

"What do they think of that?" Dean asked. They were facing each other now, having turned slightly, their knees folded on the seat. Dean let his hand fall onto Cas' knee.

 

"I have no idea, I haven't told them and they haven't thought to ask. I'll sort it out when the time comes." Cas shrugged slightly.

 

"So what would you do then, at college?"

 

"History, I think," he replied. He looked thoughtfully at Dean. "You're the first person to take interest in anything I do. You make me feel special." It was kind of sappy but it affected Dean deeply and he blushed, he felt a warm curl of affection is his stomach. He fiddled with the edge of the blanket, moving his hand off his friend's knee.

 

"I feel like your special," he said, looking deliberately into his eyes as he said it, trying to make him understand how genuine he was with the admission.

 

Cas hesitated before he quickly leant forwards and kissed Dean gently on the lips. Dean gasped softly, the simple touch made him tingle all over. Cas pulled away after a second to check Dean’s reaction. They stared at each other until they both laughed.

 

"I think we're drunk," Dean said, and leant forwards to kiss him again. This time it was open mouthed and tasted like whiskey and soda; Dean felt a little dizzy from it but it felt good. Cas pulled away and wrapped his arms around Dean, scooting closer.

 

"Me too, we should do drunken things," Castiel whispered, biting his lip and pulling Dean so they were laying down - Dean half laying on the seat and half on top of him. Dean had never really been one for cuddles, but he snuggled right up to Cas and got busy mouthing at his neck. He couldn't help it, he smelled insanely good.

 

"Nnnn," Cas groaned and bared his neck. "Feels nice," he mumbled. Dean cheekily let his hand slide under Cas' sweater, encouraged by his friend’s reaction. He could feel himself growing hard at the feel of all that smooth skin under his hand and he groaned. "What?" Cas grinned, opening one eye to look at Dean.

 

"I'm so gay for you right now, man, it's a bit... gay."

 

"Me too, I've fucked myself raw all week," he said it so calmly and Dean's mouth fell open, the way Cas spoke just made everything sound a hundred times dirtier. His voice was fucking doing things to him, making his jeans tight and he could feel himself throb.

 

"You make everything sound hot. I'm pretty sure you could read me a dictionary and I'd get a boner."

 

"Well, we'll do that next time we get drunk, right now I can think of a few more things to do." He shifted slightly and urged Dean to hover above him. "I missed this, I haven't stopped thinking about what happened."

 

"Me too."

 

"You can lie on me if you want," Cas whispered, staring up at him. Dean lifted one hand and let himself fumble along the ceiling until he hit the light switch off.

 

They exchanged an intense look, their eyes quickly adjusting in the dark. He admired Castiel’s face contently; looked at his full lips, sharp jaw line and the shadow of his stubbled cheeks. Cas had really pretty eyes; he wanted to tell him but he thought against it. He couldn't deny that his friend was good looking, he was beautiful and it was really having a serious effect on him. As if Cas had read his thoughts, right at that moment he leaned up quickly and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth seductively. It made Dean wonder where he could have learned such a thing as his brain caught up with the fact Castiel had told him he was a virgin. Dean had been his first kiss, and he wanted to do it again and again.

 

Dean realised how much he had drank as he stared down, much more than he had thought. His thoughts were kind of hazy and he was pleasantly buzzed. The attraction between them was flaring and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

 

He leant down to kiss him back and gently he let his hips come to rest on top of his Cas’. He gasped softly into his warm and pliant mouth, he could feel the hard line of Cas' erection pressed against him and he pressed down firmer. He shifted his hips slightly trying to feel more of it, little shocks of pleasure running through him. They broke the kiss briefly as Castiel's hips shuddered against his own and Dean's breath caught, he stared at him in wonder at the thought he was allowed to do this. Cas smiled and wrapped his hand around the back of Dean's neck, pulling him back down.

 

They began to rock together, finding a slow rhythm, a gentle pace. They remained unhurried, their lips touching in a soft caress. Dean could feel the way Cas' breath would hitch if he pressed his hips in a certain way and he tried to repeat the action.

 

He knew he was drunk, but the feelings between them remained the same; he had felt like this before, that first time in the shower room. Dizzy with pleasure and letting his lust drive him. Cas started to whine, his voice vibrating deep into Dean's mouth, turning into gradual moans that sent Dean wild.

 

"Please, Dean," he whimpered, gripping him and Dean was lost. He could never deny Cas anything.

 

"What do you want? I'll do anything for you, just tell me," he panted, pulling away slightly, eager to please. He tried to read what the man was thinking, staring into his eyes.

 

"I want you to touch me, please, touch me," he begged.

 

Dean pulled back further and watched him lift his hips and pull down his sweat-pants and underwear over his hips in one fluid motion. Then Cas' dick was being exposed, inch by glorious inch. He had seen it before, he had even felt it pressed against him but now he wanted to touch it and wow, did he want it bad. Though he felt the desire, he had never actually done anything like this to a guy - apart from himself anyway, and he licked his lips nervously. Castiel looked up at him strangely and Dean wondered if he felt self-conscious. There was no way to know and he didn't want him to feel that way, so he moved back down, resting his forehead onto the man's shoulder who was spread underneath him. He took a deep steadying breath, trying to calm himself. He let one hand slide across Cas' hip and then hesitated as his fingers brushed over wiry curls.

 

"I'm going to touch you now, okay?" he whispered. Dean felt his hands trembling slightly. Cas felt smaller in his hand than he was used to, but he was hot and his skin silky. It made his stomach twist in arousal, his mind clouding at the thought of what he was doing.

 

He felt Cas fumble around his jeans, insistently pressing his hand against Dean's clothed erection, rubbing him through his jeans. It make his eyes flutter closed as he started to feel overwhelmed. He gave in and stopped thinking too much, let himself be guided by instinct and rested his cheek against Cas', gasping softly as he felt the man start to thrust into his hand.

 

"Let me—Let me touch you," Cas gasped, trying to form words around his harsh breathing, through the lust. Dean shimmied out of his jeans, feeling a bit exposed with his bare ass facing the window. "It's okay, come here," Cas whispered, opening his arms and sitting up, kicking his own trousers off.

 

Dean ended up sat in Cas' lap, his jeans at his ankles, both of them with their legs spread wide and showing each other everything, shirts pulled up and eyes devouring the sight. Dean stared down at Cas' dick as it strained against his toned stomach, one hand stroking it and the other trailing up and down and playing with his nipples. They fisted each other's cocks together slowly, transfixed on the feeling of touching.

 

The car was getting hot and their skin was sticky, the windows streaming up as their breathing became more laboured. They shifted closer together, their fists leaving their heated and swollen flesh and finding each other's faces, tugging at hair and groping each other as they edged closer together, letting their cocks rub and slide together clumsily. Dean was aware he was pinning Castiel back against the car seat as he thrust against him, but it made his hips snap forwards harder.

 

They kissed deep and desperate, all tongues and teeth and feelings so strong that they didn't know how to express. But it was okay. They tipped over the edge together, moaning loudly, unaware they were rocking the car as they rode through the feeling. The car stilled as they calmed. But they were still a messy drunken mess of teenage hormones, they lay back down tangled in blankets, they kissed and traced each other's faces with fingertips, hearts racing and whiskey running through their veins. They stared up at the stars, enjoying their embrace and it was perfect.

 


	5. Chapter Three - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read *briefly* by [casweaters](http://casweaters.tumblr.com/) and [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/) \- all other mistakes are mine.

An hour later found them lying on the car, backs against the windscreen, a blanket covering them and their hands clasped tightly between them. It was surprisingly warm outside.

 

“My mum used to bring me and Sam here before she died, she loved this little town.” He didn’t know what made him say it, it had just come out. He wanted to mention that he missed her as well, but he couldn’t bring himself to day it, so he let the unsaid hang in the air. Cas seemed to understand because he squeezed his hand and let his head fall into Dean’s shoulder.

 

“My dad was never around afterwards; joined the Marines and left me and Sam to grow up without him,” he continued.  “Then he dumped us here to go and sort out some crap in South Africa that isn’t our problem.” He didn’t want to look at Castiel, feeling vulnerable after opening up to him. He stared upwards instead, feeling like a speck in the universe, like his problems shouldn’t be important. They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the stars.

 

“I like it here, maybe not forever but right now it’s okay. Where would you go, if you could leave?”  Cas’ voice was quiet. Dean thought about it for a few seconds before he answered.

 

“I’d stay here, it’s stupid but Bobby’s here, Mum was born here, there’s something about this town, I feel like I’d always come back.” He didn’t know why, it was just a gut feeling. Thinking back to his childhood, his happiest memories were here and he had fallen into a routine really quick. He didn’t think he would stay around forever, but at the moment he was happy working for Bobby and looking after Sam. Now there was Castiel and their complicated friendship to think about. Except he didn’t want to think about that, just the thought that this might be a phase made him oddly sad.

 

“I don’t know, there’s so much the world can offer, I would feel trapped if I had to stay forever, I want to do things,” Cas muttered, snuggling closer.

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know, just things, explore the world. I mean, if you could go anywhere, do anything right now, what would you do?”

 

“I don’t know.” He tried to brush it off, not really sure what he would do. He had spent the last few months so angry about everything; it had only been since he started school that he had calmed down. He had wanted so badly to get away, and now he wanted to stay.

  
“No, come one, tell me.”

 

“I guess I would lay here,” he said as he turned and smiled at Cas, “and I’d drink half a bottle of stolen whisky with my best friend...” Cas smiled and rolled his eyes fondly.

 

“And what would you really do?” he asked.

 

Dean hesitated, “...Try and find something beautiful in the world,” Dean finished. “Things have always been pretty crap for me, I just want to find something that makes it all worth it ya know?” Cas nodded and leant over, kissing him on the lips.

 

“There are thousands of beautiful things,” he whispered, as he pulled away.  “You just have to open your eyes, there might be something right in front of you.” Dean didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol, the fact he was so relaxed around Cas or his deep trust in him, but as he stared back up at the sky, he kind of agreed with him.

 

Their moment was broken when they heard a dog howling, they exchanged a look before scrambling back inside the car laughing.

 

They sat in the back giggling and drawing pictures in their breath on the back windows until they were kissing again, Cas laying on Dean, their mouths softly moving in tandem.  A short while later they drifted off, relaxed and content.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time Dean woke he was freezing and had a dead weight on his chest. He looked down to see a mop of messy black hair. He shimmied out from under the sleeping man, trying not to disturb him and climbed back into the front seat and turned the engine on for the heater. He sat in his unbuttoned jeans, socks still covering his feet and blew into his hands, rubbing them together. He looked at Castiel in the back, watched him as he settled back onto the pillow and pulled the blanket over his head. He stared the lump fondly.

 

The clock on the dashboard flashed four am; the alcohol was out of his system and memories of what they had done appeared clear in his mind. He took a minute to think about it and did his own private happy dance in his head. Castiel was a lot different from what he had originally thought; continuously surprising him, but he liked it. He stayed in the front, trying not to fall asleep until it was warm enough. He planned to climb back next to Castiel, but he slipped back into slumber, barely managing to turn the engine off.

 

* * *

 

 

When Dean woke the second time he was surprised to find he was by himself. Rubbing his eyes, as he tried to wake up, he scrambled back over the seat to get a bottle of water. Rinsing the cotton feeling from his mouth he sat on the edge of the seat, feet out the door. 

 

“Cas!” he yelled. It was light out now and he could see far around him, but he couldn’t see the brunette anywhere. He thought he might have gone for a piss but surely he wouldn’t have gone that far. “Castiel!” he yelled one more time before closing the door. The guy’s bag was still on the floor; he picked it up and looked inside, he had left his wallet but there were no keys or phone. He checked his own jeans for his phone, but it wasn’t there. He cursed under his breath and checked around the car. He found it down the side of the driver’s seat. The first thing he noticed was that that it was eight-thirty meaning he needed to go and make Sam breakfast, the other that he had two missed calls from Cas and four texts. He turned his phone off silent, annoyed with himself and opened the texts. Sam’s name was at the top.

 

 **Sam**  
Received 8:15  
Just woke up, where are you? Thought we were going to the shop?

 

The rest were from Castiel.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 5:03  
Had to run to the church, dad just texted me asking where I am. FUUUUCK!

 

 **Cas**  
Received 5:23  
I’m lost, I don’t know where I am! Answer your phone!

 

 **Cas**  
Received 5:30  
I’m okay, I just ran all the way to the church from the lake. Am dead.X

 

 **Cas**  
Received 5:35  
In church, I’ll call you later, you have my stuff. X

 

Dean cursed; why hadn’t he woke him up? He would have driven him there. He shoved the evidence of their night into their bags, slightly annoyed, and jumped back into the front ready to go and see Sam. He hoped he was safe to drive, the light felt a bit bright on his eyes and he was tired, but apart from that he felt fine. However, he felt bad for Cas, running across town, probably hungover. He couldn’t be bothered to drive home let alone run a mile.

 

He drove away from The Lakes but instead of heading straight home he went in the direction of McDonalds, he wasn’t sure where else would be open at this time in the morning.  He got coffee and breakfast for Sam, he really didn’t want to eat right now! He got home in record time and shoved breakfast on the coffee table in front of his brother, who was still in his pyjamas and watching cartoons, and ran upstairs to use the toilet. He came back down the stairs and sat on the couch, picking up his coffee and drinking a big gulp, grateful for the caffeine.

 

“Where were you last night?” Sam was smirking behind his muffin, dropping crumbs everywhere.

 

“Nowhere, I went to get breakfast this morning,” he lied, grabbing the TV remote and flicking through the channels.

 

“You’re such a liar, Dean. Gabe texted me last night, apparently he can see Castiel’s bedroom window from his room and he said he was climbing down the pipe at a quarter to midnight,” Sam accused, snatching the remote back and putting his cartoons back on. There was nothing on anyway. Dean hadn’t thought about this before, Sam was probably telling the truth; the way Castiel’s house was shaped, due to an extension to the property, some of the rooms faced each other. Thinking about it, he was sure the library and Gabriel’s room were opposite Cas’ room. Fuck.

 

“Gabriel’s a nosy little shit. Why were you awake at midnight anyway?” he snapped, trying to take the focus away from himself.

 

“I’m not a baby.” He frowned. “Look, I’m not gonna say anything to Bobby, I don’t care if you go out.”

 

“I asked Bobby. He said it was fine, I’m not sneaking around anywhere. Besides, I’m eighteen, Sam, I’m allowed to go out.” What was this, twenty questions? He needed more of a social life than hanging around with his little brother and working with Bobby.

 

“Well just be careful; Gabe said if their parent’s find out, you’ll be in so much trouble.” Sam was staring at him seriously, he felt like he didn’t need a fourteen year old looking out for him. It was stupid. He was an adult. What the hell did it have to do with Cas’ parents what he got up to anyway?

 

“Me? What did I do?” he exclaimed. Sam shrugged.

 

“I think their parents are a bit weird.”

 

“No shit, Sherlock,” he snapped. He knew it wasn’t Sam’s fault, but what he had said had made him realise that Cas might be in serious trouble if he was caught. He had left early and ran across town to meet his dad at the church; that was drastic.

 

Teenagers stayed out late, got drunk and had sex; it was normal. Dean was coming to realise that Cas didn’t do these things until he had come along. He didn’t want him to get into trouble with his family, but Dean had never pushed him or forced him to do anything he didn’t want to. Castiel had free will, he wasn’t going to stop hanging around him because his parents were old fashioned. He wasn’t going to take the blame for it either; he hadn’t done anything wrong.

 

“Where’d you go anyway? Did you go to a bar or a club or something?” Sam asked, obviously being nosy.

 

“Jeeze, Sam, no! Can you picture Cas in a nightclub, no way!”

 

“Well, I dunno, he’s your friend.”

 

“No, we went to the lake.” He stared into his coffee, unsure of what Sam’s reaction would be. He didn’t answer for a while and Dean almost regretted mentioning it.

 

“Will you take me one day?”

 

Dean let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

 

“Sure, Sammy. Now get finished up, I need to help Bobby.”

 


	6. Chapter Three - Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [casweaters](http://casweaters.tumblr.com/) and [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/)

Dean thought about Cas all morning, he was really happy they had spent an awesome night together, but he was worried sick that the guy had got in trouble.  It was kind of exhausting. He had texted him multiple times, but he hadn’t texted back and he didn’t want to smother him so he decided to leave him be. He was obviously busy. He dragged himself through his day, tired, a little cranky and his hangover multiplied by his lack of sleep. He wasn’t in the best shape. This meant he was relieved at the end of the day, especially since Bobby and Sam had went out of their way to bang things around once they had realised he was suffering.

 

Those dicks.

 

Dean stuffed his face with pasta at tea time, practically shoving it down just to have something in his empty stomach because he planned to face-plant into bed and stay there until Monday. He showered and crawled into bed at an obscenely early time for a Saturday night, not like he cared. He just wanted to sleep. He put his phone back onto silent and climbed into bed, not bothering with pyjamas even though he was cold. He smiled as he lay there, happy to be in his own space and spread out further in the bed, he had been waiting for this all day. He was out like a light.

 

He was asleep for what felt like five minutes before he was rudely awoken by something vibrating against his face. He grabbed his phone from under his pillow and winced as it lit up in his dark room. It was a text from Cas, he opened it eagerly, suddenly feeling awake.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:24   
You still have my wallet!

 

Dean frowned, he had ignored him all day and that’s all he had to say? That was really anticlimactic, he was hoping for at least an apology for ignoring him all day, he had been worried.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:26   
I think I should get it back before my dad thinks I have been mugged or something as equally stupid.

 

He started to type out a rather annoyed reply, he was really offended, he didn’t want to make a big deal about it so he was thinking of how he could phrase it when his phone vibrated again, he backtracked and opened the new message.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:27   
... Sorry I ran off this morning, I didn’t want to bother you with my crap.

 

Dean frowned again but for a different reason, it wasn’t crap. It wasn’t Castiel’s fault that his parents were dicks. He changed his mind about the snotty message. He realised he might be being a bit selfish, Cas might have had a hard time today.

 

**_I’ll drop your bag around tomorrow, hope you didn’t get in trouble. X_ **

 

There, now he felt like less of a dick.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:35   
I’ll come pick it up if that’s okay, I go to the library after church tomorrow with my bible studies group, I need my library card.

 

Sunday. Of course, Castiel went to church on Sundays. He could think of nothing less he would like to do than have to do that early hours of the morning, each to his own though, it wasn’t like he was asking Dean to go.  He didn’t mind him popping around to pick it up.

 

**_That’s okay, I’m in all day tomorrow, hang on, I’ll ask Bobby his address._ **

 

He lay there for a minute, trying to get the energy to get out of bed. He got up after a little bit of internal arguing and stumbled around in the dark, he opened his middle draw pulled on some sweat pants and a shirt he found in there. His phone vibrated again.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:38   
I know where you live! With Mr. Singer! Small town remember :P Thanks for last night Dean, it was great! X

 

Dean smiled and flopped back onto the bed, happy not to have to move.

 

**_No problem, the lake’s nice in the day too but it’s really peaceful at night. I like it. Sorry if it wasn’t your thing. :/_ **

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:42   
I loved it. You’ll have to take me in the day, we could have a picnic. X

 

He wasn’t sure about a picnic, he had never had one before and it seemed a bit strange for two guys to do but maybe it could be fun. At least he knew Cas had actually had enjoyed last night, he hadn’t known anywhere else they could go so late at night. And they were lucky he had chosen such a secluded spot with what had happened. He hadn’t planned to have sex with Cas again, it had just happened though he was sure the alcohol had not helped. He thought it had loosened his tongue, though he could admit he didn’t really have much of a filter around him anyway, he couldn’t blame the booze on everything.

 

**_No problem ;) I can’t believe how drunk I was though, I’m in bed recovering! Hope I didn’t say/do anything to embarrass myself! X_ **

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:47   
I’m in bed too, just thinking about you and our drunken fumbling. Defo no embarrassment involved. X

 

Dean bit his lip, that kind of was embarrassing, Castiel calling it fumbling. Though he hadn’t exactly been pulling any moves at the time. Come to think of it, he hadn’t had to either time they had been together. It had just kind of happened. He just didn’t know what he was doing, he hoped he hadn’t done anything wrong.

 

**_Drunken fumbling? Was we that bad? Lol. It was okay, right? X_ **

 

 **Cas**  
Received 21:55   
Defo really, really FUN. I feel like you spoiled me though, maybe next time I could do something for you? ... ;) X

 

Next time huh? He liked the sound of that. What he had with Cas was definitely something that had never crossed his mind before but it was one of the hottest sexual experiences that he had shared. Within a week of knowing the guy he had went from being obsessed with boobs to daydreaming about wanking a guy off, not just any guy though, it had to be Castiel otherwise the thought kind of freaked him out. There was just something about him.

 

He typed out a text, a little cautious to send it but hit the button before he could change his mind, the conversation was obviously going in a certain way and he was interested to know what would happen. He felt awake now anyway.

 

**_I like the sound of that. What did you have in mind? ;)_ **

 

He rested the phone on his chest and let his hand rest on his crotch, slowly stroking over his semi hard cock. He wondered if Cas would take the bait and actually answer him, he had never really been that shy around Dean and he hoped he wouldn’t start now.

 

 **Cas**  
22:06   
I can’t wait to spread those pretty legs of yours and wrap my lips around you ;) xx

 

Oh, wow. Dean groaned softly and his eyes fall shut as he let the image fill his mind. He could picture him staring up as he worked his mouth around him. He slipped his hand into his pants and gripped himself, trying to remember how Cas had done it. He used his left hand to reply.

 

**_Cas you would look so gorgeous, your baby blues staring up at me, I’m so hard thinking about it._ **

 

Dean wasn’t thinking about what he sent, he just typed and pressed the button, his other hand slowly jacking himself.

 

 **Cas**  
22:15   
Show me?

 

Dean stared at the screen in confusion, was he asking what he thought he was? His hand stilled.

 

**_... You want a picture? xx_ **

 

 **Cas**  
22:17   
If you show me how hard you are, I’ll show you anything you want. X

 

Dean’s mouth was dry, was he really going to send him a picture? He felt himself twitch, well, his cock was obviously very interested. Before he changed his mind he shuffled his pants and underwear down to his thighs. He then realised there wouldn’t be enough light to take a picture so he jumped out of bed and went to turn it on. He felt a bit silly as he pointed his phone at his groin; he sucked in his stomach a little even though he knew it was fine, gave himself a few strokes and then clicked the button. He looked at the photo for a few seconds and thought about what Cas would think. Would he think it was hot? He threw his phone down and sat up to pull his shirt off. The next one he took he made sure to get some of his chest in, he sat up on one elbow and gripped his cock, his thumb resting against the head. This one was better and he relaxed back against the pillow as he attached it to a message. He didn’t know what to write so he just typed  **;).** He triple checked that he was sending it to the right person and hit send.

 

He jumped up and turned the light back off so he could relax and he locked the door just in case. He felt nervous but it was good, exhilarating, the apprehension of what Cas would say exciting and it was swirling in his stomach and making his cheeks ache as he smiled. And now he would send him a picture back, anything he wanted. But what did he want to see? Right now? He was back to thinking about Cas on his knees as he fucked into his mouth, he would tangle his hands into that hair and pull enough for him to feel it. He wished he could feel it, that mouth was sinful. It wasn’t enough though, he wanted to see everything.

 

 **Cas**  
22:31  
Wow, Dean, you look amazing, that’s exactly what I wanted... What do you want? Xx

 

Dean wanted everything, he wanted Cas so much. He thought about grinding against him, the two of them almost naked in the impala, the way Cas’ hands had slipped down to his ass and forced him forwards and—

 

**_Show me what you are doing, your touching yourself rite?_ **

 

He watched the screen, his cock aching, he wanted to touch himself but he needed to see this picture. He flicked back to the other texts and reread everything Cas had sent him, trying to sidetrack himself until then.

 

When his phone vibrated again Dean nervously stared at the screen for a few minutes before opening it, he wasn’t sure why but he just felt like he needed to prepare himself for this. He had actually asked for a naked picture of a man and the thought was as scary as it was exciting and he didn’t know what to expect. Dean’s worries vanished as soon as he opened it. Castiel looked stunning. He had taken a picture in the dark, the flash from his phone illuminating his skin beautifully. He was lying down and had taken the picture from above so it upside down; he was looking right at the camera and smiling, his eyes bright. And Dean licked his lips as he looked at the guy’s chest and then down to his cock that was proudly lying on his stomach and a pretty pink. His knees were bent and his other hand was lying high on his inner thigh, he could see his fingers and two of them looked kind of shiny as if they were wet, not touching his cock but looking as if they had been... had been...

 

Oh, fuck.

 

It was then that Dean’s phone rang. He answered it as quick as lightning.

 

“Was it okay? I mean, I was...” Cas’ voice sounded insecure and had the slight pitch and whine that Dean now called Cas’ Sex Voice and he knew that he really had been doing _it_.

 

“Perfect.” Was the first thing that came out of Dean’s mouth. “Cas, it’s so perfect, you’re so perfect.” He was babbling but he couldn’t help it. His hand was back on his cock and he was breathing heavily into the phone as he stroked himself furiously, unable to hold back.

 

“Oh, I was worried you’d be freaked out but I couldn’t help it. I was thinking about you and I just got curious and it feels so fucking good that I-”

 

“Are you doing it now?”

 

“...yeah.” Cas’ voice was shaky and Dean licked his lips again. He couldn’t believe it, just... _fuck_.

 

“Oh, fuck Cas, you’re driving me crazy. I want you to touch your cock for me too, make yourself come for me baby.”

 

Cas was moaning into the phone and it sounded like he had dropped it because he heard it rattle and then his voice sounded distant. For some reason this turned Dean to mush, he was imagining him doing as he was told, using both hands on himself. He lay his own phone on the pillow next to his head and let his other hand wonder, stoking down between his own thighs becoming curious himself but never quite slipping down far enough.

 

“Dean, Dean, I’m gonna _come_ , oh fuck!” He was more vocal and it made him moan in delight. Castiel was being loud, maybe because he was in the comfort of his own bedroom or maybe because of what he was doing, Dean didn’t know but it was driving him crazy. And before he could control himself he was he was tensing and colours exploding behind his eyelids as he came, he could feel it streaking up his chest and—“Oh myyyy---“ Cas breathed in his ear, his voice was higher and drawn out and Dean smiled satisfied, just knowing that he had joined him on his high.

 

“Fuck, fuck,” he whispered, leaning his face against the phone. They were silent for a while until Castiel laughed nervously down the phone.

 

“I’ll be back in a second, I just need to clean up.” The phone rattled again and then went silent. Dean took the time to find his shirt and used it to wipe himself down. He pulled his clothes back up and snuggled into bed feeling really tired again.

 

Cas was back after a minute. “Hi,” he said, he sounded nervous. Dean thought it was adorable.

 

“Hey,” Dean said fondly, sounding happy and hoping Cas could tell. “You are something else you know. I can’t believe you-” He laughed softly, breaking off, unable to even say it.

 

“And you’re okay with me doing that while I think about you?” Dean was blissed out, the thought of Cas doing that was what had tipped him over the edge.

 

“Yeah, that was- that was really sexy,” he admitted, turning onto his side and getting comfortable. “Don’t worry Castiel, everything’s good.”

 

“Are you going to sleep now, Dean?” he whispered.

 

“Hmmm, tired,” he muttered, cradling the phone to his ear.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

“No- no, five more minutes, Cas. Just five,” he complained, curling up and holding the phone closer listening to Cas’ steady breathing. It was really relaxing and he could feel himself drifting off until finally Cas whispered an almost silent, “Goodnight,” and then the line went dead, he shoved it back under his pillow and turned over, asleep.

 


	7. Chapter Four - Part One

 

Dean woke up to Bobby hovering over him, he stared up confused and wondered if he was still dreaming. “Sorry kid, Mrs Mills needs her car back.” Dean groaned and rubbed his hands over his face trying to wake up.

 

“Can’t you take it?” he moaned, tempted to pull the duvet back over his head.

 

“No way, she--”

 

“Bobby, she’s a woman, not a vampire, she isn’t gonna eat you.”  


  
“No, now get your ass outta bed, idgit.” Dean rolled out, falling on the floor childishly in a mild protest.  


  
“Take my truck will ya? I need gas,” he yelled as he walked out the room and disappeared downstairs.

 

He pulled on his clothes from yesterday, not caring they were covered in oil, he was only going to the garage, and made his way downstairs. Bobby gave him his bank card and the keys to the truck. “Hurry up about it boy, don’t be pissing around. I want to sort out your room for you today.” Dean rolled his eyes and decided not to complain even as he glanced at the clock and realised it was seven o’clock in the morning.

 

It didn’t take long to get to the garage and he opened the warehouse which was housing her car quickly, happy he actually knew where it was instead of searching them all, and annoyed that his Sunday was being eaten into. He didn’t have any plans today but that was beside the point. And now Bobby wanted to help sort out his room too so he couldn’t moan about it. Even though it was freezing. And annoying. And he couldn’t wait until Sam could drive.

 

Mrs Mills was a nice lady who lived down the road from Bobby’s garage so it didn’t take long to drop it off, she was a widow like Bobby and a little lonely. She seemed quite disappointed when Dean knocked the door; she even greeted him with a coffee that he politely declined realising it hadn’t actually been made for him at all but for his uncle. He walked back to the garage to pick up the truck laughing the whole way and ready to tease Bobby. He got gas on the way back and then made his way home ready to crawl back into bed. He pulled into the drive and sloppily parked it, eh, it would do.

 

“Dean!” Jeez, Bobby sounded pissed. He hadn’t been gone that long! He followed the angry voice to the kitchen to where Bobby was sat at the table and eating a cooked breakfast, there was another full plate opposite him. Dean was at down in seconds and tucking into it.  He had a mouth full of bacon when he remembered he had Bobby’s bank card, he fished it out his pocket and slapped it on the table.

 

“You’ll never guess what—“ he started.

 

“One of the Milton’s boys was ‘round here this morning looking for you,” Bobby cut him off.

 

“Milton? I don’t know anyone called Milton.” Dean thought about it for a minute, he hadn’t really spoken to any one at school, so it couldn’t be anyone from there and he didn’t do anything else to get to know people.

 

“Well he knew you, he seemed to think that you had his wallet.” Oh, right, Cas! He forgot Castiel was adopted, he must have kept his birth parents second name.

 

“I know who you mean, that’s Cas, I forgot he wanted it back today.” He shrugged, he was sure he would drop back around later.

 

“Of course he wanted it back!” Bobby was staring at him annoyed and had pushed his breakfast away to bitch glare at Dean. “What am I supposed to do with you, Dean? I thought you said you were okay!”

 

“What? I am okay!” he defended, suddenly not liking where this conversation was going. “Oh, you think I stole it?!”

 

Wow, really? Bobby had that little faith in him?

 

“Well, what else am I supposed to think? The kid wouldn’t tell me why you had it and he was awfully jumpy. But Dean, this stops, you give that poor kid his wallet back.” He spoke firmly, Dean had never heard him sound so serious.

 

“God, Bobby! I didn’t steal it! We’re friends, Castiel is the one I went out with Friday night! He left it in my car!” he explained, trying not to get angry and raise his voice.

 

“What? You aren’t picking on him?” He sounded far too surprised for his liking.

 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, _no_! Why would I take anyone’s wallet?” Okay, he said he wasn’t going to shout but this was increasingly offended.

 

“Well, I’m sorry Dean, I don’t know, but you must see why I thought it, the whole thing sounded suspicious and you didn’t mention you were friends with him. The Milton’s are a bit...” he trailed off, making vague gestures with his hands.

 

“What?”

 

“I don’t know, they’re all bible bashers, in the summer I feel like hiding under a rock with all the time they’re at my door trying to drag me to the church. They’re more annoying than anything.” Dean stared at him unsure what to think, he was actually a little bit offended on Cas’ behalf at what Bobby said but didn’t want to call him out on it, he just shrugged awkwardly. “Anyway, sorry for thinking you’re a thief.”

 

“Yeah, don’t think so bad of me next time.” He slumped back in his chair, suddenly not as hungry and nibbled on some toast.

 

“So you and Cassiel—“

 

“Castiel,” he corrected.

 

“Yeah him, didn’t really think he would be the kind of guy you would hang around with.”

  
“He was the one who hit me with the ball last week, kind of hard to forget him after that but yeah, we get on really well despite our differences.”

 

“That’s good, I’m sure with a family like that he’s really well behaved. He might be a good influence on you.” Dean tried not to smile but the corner of his lip was twitching with the effort of it. Oh dear, of only Bobby knew.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean didn’t get the chance to go back to bed after breakfast, Bobby insisted they get his room sorted because he apparently needed to sort some things for the study anyway and he wanted Dean’s help. He didn’t mind helping him, it was a two way deal after all, he would help shift all the crap from his room and then he could help Bobby with the study. He had to admit, it would be nice to be able to unpack the rest of his things and he was thinking that the room would look bigger with the bed under the window instead of against the wall.

 

They made their way upstairs and Bobby complained at the amount of boxes. “Didn’t realise there were so many.” Well, he didn’t call it the junk room for nothing.

 

“And I already shifted a load the other day, too.”

 

Bobby opened one of them and peered inside, Dean was sure he hadn’t ever seen any of them books around the house before, he didn’t want to know how long they had been shoved in here. He was just about to grab a box to open when he heard something vibrate and he realised his phone was still under his pillow. He went to grab it. He had two missed calls and five texts. Shit.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 7:14  
Dean I need to get my bag, are you awake?

 

 **Cas**  
Received 7:16  
Wakey Wakey :)

 

 **Cas**  
Received 7:30  
Dean, just left the house, on way over, can u have it ready.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 7:49  
Okay, I’m outside! Come and meet me! Pretty please? I need to be at church for 9 to set up! I haven’t even showered yet!!!

 

 **Cas**  
Received 7:55  
You didn’t need to lie if you didn’t want to see me, I thought I knew you better. Obviously not. Thanks for nothing.

 

Dean’s heart sank, this was the worst thing that could happen today. It was already nine-thirty and he assumed he would be in the service already. He doubted he would be able to get away or even answer his phone. Bobby must have noticed his inner distress because he asked him what was wrong.

 

“He saw my car and now he thinks I was avoiding him, he’s got the wrong idea,” he answered, still staring at that last text, reading it over and over in his head.

 

“Who?”

 

“Castiel, he noticed the impala and thought I was ignoring him! That I sent you to the door! Fuck,” he cursed, sitting down on the bed feeling devastated.

 

“Not a good morning for you, is it, son?” Bobby muttered, still sorting through the boxes, Dean ignored him. He didn’t know what to do. The past few nights with Cas had been amazing, how had this went so wrong? Now Cas sounded upset and angry and he didn’t want him to think he was a jerk. If only he could get it to him somehow.

 

“You’ll just have to give it him tomorrow.”

 

“Bobby, I need to give it to him now! Now _he_ probably thinks I’m a thief—“

 

“Dean, it’s a misunderstanding, he’ll probably laugh when you tell him tomorrow.” Bobby didn’t understand, he didn’t know dearly Dean cherished his friendship with Cas, what was really happening. Dean sighed and decided to text him, it was the only thing he could think to do. The last text he had sent had sounded so disappointed and he couldn’t bare the thought of it.

 

**_Castiel, I’m really sorry, I was out on a morning job, Your wallet is still in my car, is there any way I can get it to you? Xxx_ **

 

He purposely added the extra kisses hoping it would make him smile. He put his phone on loud and put it in his pocket so he would definitely hear it when it went off.

 

“Stop moping and help move these boxes, I’ll need new bookcases for these, you can help.”

 

Dean nodded and tried not to think about the trouble Cas could be getting into. He felt like he should be angry at Bobby for making him go to Mrs Mills when he so obviously liked her back. But he really could bring himself to be angry at someone who had done so much for him. He grabbed a box, and made his way downstairs, trying not to feel sad.

 

The study was large and they piled the boxes in the centre of the room.

 

“This is the wall they’re going against, we’ll head down to the store once Sam’s awake, will do you some good to learn how to make something.”

 

Dean’s mood lifted slightly, he liked it when Bobby wanted to do things with him. His dad had never showed him anything useful, it was Bobby who taught him to drive, showed him everything about cars and gave him a job. Now he wanted to show him how to build a bookcase. It wouldn’t be good to dwell on the situation with Cas anyway, he could do with a distraction.

 

“Okay then,” he replied.

 

“Chin up, you’ll be fine.”

 

Dean really wanted to believe him so he squashed down the feeling of guilt and sat down with Bobby at the desk, listening intently as he explained what they were going to do and figured out how much wood they would need. He tried to concentrate but his mind was elsewhere and he kept checking his phone.

 

Sam wandered in at around eleven with a glass of orange juice in his hand, moaning he was hungry. Dean was way more annoyed then he should have been that he hadn’t just made it himself. Bobby took one look at Dean’s face and went to do it himself. Sam jumped into the empty chair and peered at all the diagrams.

 

“You’re building bookcases?”

 

“...Yeah. Are you coming to the store with us?”

 

“Do I have to?”

 

“Well yes, Sam, because you can’t stay by yourself and me and Bobby have things to do,” he snapped.

 

“Wow, what’s got your panties into a twist? I’m old enough to be by myself.”

 

“No you’re not; I’m not going to argue with you, Sam. I’m not in the mood.”

 

“Why are you being such a jerk? If you’re gonna be like his all day then I’ll text Gabe and go over to his.”

 

“Well I’m not driving you so good luck with that.”

 

“I’ll get Cas to come and get me.” Dean’s face must have said it all because suddenly Sam was looking at him strangely as he withdrew into himself and leant his head on the table, wrapping his arms around it.

 

“Do what you want, I don’t care,” he mumbled.

 

Bobby walked in a dropped a plate of toasted cheese in front of Sam.

 

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Sam asked, leaning closer.

 

“Nothing,” he said, still hiding under his arms.

 

“Something to do with a wallet and that Milton boy,” Bobby whispered.

 

“Novak!” Dean snapped and pushed away from the table, he needed to be alone for a minute. His phone had not rang once, Cas must have seen the message by now. Was he really that mad? He was really trying not to let it bother him but it wasn’t like he could turn it off. This was getting complicated, if this had been any of his previous relationships then he wouldn’t have gave a fuck and even less if it had been a friend. Cas was just so important to him and the idea that he thought Dean had purposely avoided him was making him feel a bit sick.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed and flicked through the messages and opened the picture file. He turned his phone upside down so the picture was the right way up. His smile was so wide, his teeth white and straight and his smile a little gummy, even his eyes were smiling as the shocking blue stared straight at the camera, at Dean. He smiled sadly and tried to ignore the feeling in his chest. Even though he was a guy, Cas was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen.  He lay down on his bed, phone clutched to him.

 

He just lay there thinking.

 

He ignored Bobby when he yelled that they were going to the store and asked if he wanted to come. He actually let out a sigh of relief as he heard the door lock and the truck leave the driveway. He stared at that smile until he fell asleep.


	8. Chapter Four - Part Two

He woke up to the sound of a buzzsaw humming in the distance, he stretched, feeling much better and pulled himself up in bed. He grabbed his phone quickly and closed the picture message hoping there would be something, nothing. He didn’t feel as upset about it anymore, the extra sleep had done him some good, maybe he had just been tired? He glanced at the time, it was just before two o’clock, he’d been asleep for over two hours. No wonder he had been moody earlier. He was still sad about it but he was able to put in out his mind, now he was thinking Bobby was right, they would laugh about it tomorrow. He pocketed his phone and made his way down to the study. Sam was now dressed and sat on the floor sorting books into different piles, seemingly ordering them. Dean tried to see the significance of each group but he couldn’t, books were boring to him.

 

“You always were the smart one, I wouldn’t know how to do that.” He leant against the door frame, he couldn’t go in anyway, Sam had covered most of the floor space. His brother hadn’t noticed he was there yet and looked up surprised at his voice.

 

“Does that make you the dumb one?” he said cheekily, going back to the box in front of him.

 

“No, the good looking one, duh,” he replied. Sam smiled and stood up, dusting himself off. Who knew books could be so dirty? Sam stared at him for a while and he realised he was going to try and comfort him, he was going to say something to shut him up but Sam beat him to it.

 

“Look Dean, I know you think I’m a kid but I’m more capable than you give me credit for. If you need someone to talk to don’t forget I’m here.” He stared straight at him and it made him uncomfortable.

 

“I’m not a girl, I don’t need to talk about my feelings.” He sighed, Sam had to force these chick flick moments. He didn’t need to talk about these things! Especially to his brother!

 

“You kind of do, you’re all quiet and private, locked away in your room, we used to talk and we haven’t since we started school. Talk to me, I’ll understand, I’m going through the same things as you are.” Dean appreciated what Sam was trying to do and it was nice, apart from the fact that he really was not going through the same things as him, at least he hoped not! Great, now he was thinking about Sam and Gabriel, he shivered in disgust.

 

He wished he could talk to someone about this thing he had with Cas but he couldn’t, Sam just wouldn’t get it. And Bobby was definitely out if the equation!

 

What the hell was his life anymore? He had been hit in the face and apparently his dick thought that it was fantastic. Great. He didn’t even like guys! He liked Cas, the nerdy, Christian, loner who nobody knew existed. He more than liked him, after all, you really are crossing the friendship line when you wank each other and masturbate together on a regular basis.

 

Wow. Seriously? Was he really thinking about this while he stared at Sam? He was creeping himself out.

 

“Sam, thanks for the offer, I’ll keep it in mind but I really am okay. I was just annoyed and upset and I think I got Cas in trouble and I feel terrible about it. I think I was tired though, I feel better now I’ve had a nap,” he admitted, trying to at least tell some portion of the truth.

 

“Dean, Castiel likes you, he’s not gonna stop suddenly being your friend over something so petty. Stop worrying. Not everyone is going to leave you, okay?” He gulped thickly, knowing Sam was talking about their parents. He hadn’t even known it had been part of the problem but it obviously was because he suddenly felt like he was going to cry. He looked at the floor and blinked back his tears. “Why don’t we go and see how Bobby is getting on?” Sam stepped over all the books and went to walk past but Dean grabbed him and hugged him. He was briefly surprised, he hadn’t hugged Sam in a while and he felt huge in his arms. Maybe it was because he hadn’t gotten used to hugging Cas?

 

“Thanks, little brother,” he said.

 

“Hey, I’m taller than you now,” Sam joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“Barely... but seriously, thanks, Sam.” He meant it, even though he hadn’t said anything to Sam he felt miles better.

 

“No problem, now come on, let’s go.” Dean wiped his eyes, took a deep breath and followed him to the garage.

 

* * *

 

 

Outside Bobby had just finished cutting the wood into the right sizes and had them stacked against the wall. He had bought oak in the hope he could just paint clear varnish on it. He got some of the quick-drying stuff because if he didn’t finish this today then it would be there until next week.

 

“Can we help?” Dean asked as they strolled in. Bobby grinned and handed a drill to Dean.

 

“Fuck it up and it’s coming out of your wages.” Sam laughed and Dean sent him a dirty look.

 

“What do we do?” he asked.

 

“Come here idgits, what did your daddy teach you?! Come here.” He led them over to the desk. “Right, so here are the pieces you need, I’ve divided the wood so it’s clear which piece is for what. So which is the side?” he asked, turning to Sam. He shifted unsure then pointed to one of the stacks. “And which is the top and bottom?” He turned to Dean, he pointed to the pile on the left. “Good, we have common sense between us!” Dean frowned, it wasn’t an idiot, but as he looked at Bobby he realised he was winding him up. “Okay, Sam you can hold the pieces steady on the worktop while I measures out where the screws will go and Dean you can make the holes okay?”

 

They nodded and they go to work.

 

The three of them spent the day making the bookcases, they made four in total and when the varnish was drying Sam disappeared to go and finish ordering the books while Bobby sorted out something to eat. Dean stayed sat on the worktop into the garage, really happy he had helped make something that would probably outlive him. He took a photo on his phone to show Cas tomorrow if they could sort out what had happened. He hoped he wasn’t too mad at him, by now he must have calmed down.

 

They ate panini’s and chips in front of the TV and watched Avengers and they had to explain everything to Bobby who was completely clueless, Sam made it even worse when he started talking about fanfiction so Dean threw a pillow at his head. They argued over their favourite (Dean liked Iron Man and Sam liked Captain America) until Bobby thought the varnish would be dry. They all ran to check it together and it was, Bobby suddenly had bad back and disappeared onto the front porch to drink beer.

 

The boys exchanged an amused look.

 

All in all it was a nice afternoon spent with his little family, the only part that wasn’t fun was carrying the cases to the study. He wasn’t going to let Sam know he was struggling because the kid wasn’t even breaking a sweat. God, that annoyed him to no end! He left him alone to sort out the books though, he could hear Sam complaining from his room. By the end of the day Dean was so tired that he didn’t even bring himself to care anymore that Cas hadn’t called him back. He would see him tomorrow and sort this out. Though he did make sure to send a quick, **_Goodnight x_** before he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

When Dean drove to school the next day he was surprised not to see Cas’ car. He had realised quickly that the guy always parked in the same place. Looking around he could see the other car that belonged to the family (he was sure that was Anna’s) but no sign of the other. He didn’t doubt that he would be at school, it was almost eight—thirty already and normally he was one of the first to arrive.

 

“Dean!” He spun around and saw Castiel marching towards him and dragging Gabriel by his blazer close behind him. Dean walked to meet him half way so they were stood on the edge of the car park and passed him his bag. He took it silently, forced Gabriel to turn around and took his books from his brother’s bag.

  
“Thank you, Gabriel.” It sounded like a dismissal and Cas walked off leaving Gabe and Dean stood alone together. Gabe gave him an exasperated look before walking off in the opposite direction. Dean looked over to where Cas was walking, he had stopped at the impala and was waiting by the passenger seat. Dean walked over and let him in, he climbed in the other side.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, cautiously.

 

“No, I’m not. I feel like my life is a mess and I’m running out of time to do what I want. My dad took my car, he said if I’m leaving my licence with other people then I obviously don’t want to use it, we had to walk this morning,” he vented, pulling some of the stitching out of his bag in temper.

 

“Why didn’t Anna give you a—“

 

“Because she’s being a bitch and my dad saw that message you sent--“ Dean felt like he was going to have a heart attack. “—I left my phone in the cloak room while I was setting up service and he read it.” Surely he couldn’t be talking about the photo; he would have been a little more gentle about explaining the fact his dad had seen him naked, he hoped. Had he even kept it anyway? Surely someone is Cas’ position could be disowned for something like that, maybe he had deleted it. Now Dean’s phone felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket with the guilt he had kept Cas’ and actually looked at it often.

 

“He didn’t see anything else did he? Like, the photo?” he asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care and kind of wanting to know if he had kept it or not.

 

“No,” Cas smiled bitterly, it looked all wrong on his face. “I think he might have a heart attack.” He laughed but it was forced. “No, I moved it, it’s password protected on my laptop.” Dean was surprised.

 

“I thought you might have deleted it,” he blurted out before he could help himself.

 

“Did you?” he asked, looking at him for the first time. “Is it weird I kept it?”

 

“No! It’s not weird! I... er, I still have yours,” he admitted, flushing a little. Cas nodded slowly and dropped his bag to the floor, he sorted his books around in his bag for a minute and then he went back to staring down in his lap.

 

“I’m sorry I sent you that rude text, I just, I felt like my whole world was crashing down, I was panicking. I just thought that you were too good to be true, that I could never have a friend like you, that you had got bored with me. I thought I had done something wrong and offended you. And I’d sent you that photo, I’ve never...” He was blushing and starting to stutter over his words. “You’re the first person who has seen me naked, it’s kind of terrifying and I thought I was an idiot for taking a picture, especially showing my face. I know it was my idea but if that got around my parents would probably murder me. But I was being paranoid, right?” He sounded so hopeful, afraid that Dean would betray his trust, his dignity.

 

“Cas, look at me.” He still stared at his hands determinedly. “No seriously look at me.” He looked up shyly. “You don’t have to worry about that, I know you’ve never done this before and I would never do anything to purposely upset you. And I would never show that picture to anyone. Anyone. I will delete it if you want me too but I really like it. Exchanging photos was super hot, you didn’t do anything to put me off. Trust me. But, why didn’t you text me back anyway?” Dean had been a mess yesterday, he knew that. Looking back on it he felt like an idiot, he just wanted to know why Cas had ignored him.

 

“My phones dead, keep my charger in my bag and you had my bag.” He explained, slumping further into the seat.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault, I over reacted and my dad overreacted even more. They’re going away on Friday again, I’ll be happy to see them go.” He didn’t know what to say to that, he didn’t know how real families worked. Cas was pouring his heart out and he was sat there like an idiot staring at the dashboard. He was saved by the first lesson bell ringing.

 

“We better get to homeroom,” he muttered, feeling a little uncomfortable.

 

“I don’t want to go.” Dean could admit his friend looked really upset, he was afraid he was going to cry. He reached over and grabbed his hand.

 

“Come on, we have gym second period, we have to go.” Cas stared at Dean’s hand holding his and closed his other hand over the top, gripping it with both of his own. “Come on, Angel,” he joked, grinning at him and trying to make him laugh. It worked, he laughed softly under his breath.

 

“Okay, I’ll meet you in gym.” He didn’t move though. He just stroked his hand over the top of Dean’s and he looked around to see if anyone would notice. The car park was practically empty apart from a few teachers who were grabbing things from their cars.

 

“You’re really nice to me and I don’t know why, nobody’s ever looked twice.”

 

“It’s ‘cause you’re my friend, don’t be daft. Now come on, if you’re late your teachers will blame me.”


	9. Chapter Five - Part One

Dean felt bad leaving Cas when he knew he was so stressed but he needed to go to class. History bored the hell out of him and Crowley had the annoying habit of singling out people he didn’t think were paying attention. He didn’t understand a lot of what was being said so he wrote as much down and he could, he knew he could ask Cas about it later, he was convinced he would be able to help him, he thought it was in a higher class than him and he remembered he wanted to do history at college. He would probably be more than eager to help. And he really didn’t feel like raising his hand in Mr. Crowley’s class. The lesson seemed to drag and when the bell rang he was the first out of his seat. He ran down to the gym, running the wrong way in the corridors before all the teachers would spot him. He wanted to make sure he noticed Cas when he came into the gym.

 

He hovered around the front of the changing room looking like he was sorting something in his bag, he kept one eye on the door. He came in after about five minutes, he had slipped in the crowd of boys in his history class, he looked for Dean and nodded his head towards the shower room, he followed. Cas was waiting inside a cubicle, holding the door open with his foot. Dean hesitated before stepping inside, there were a few guys that were stepping into the cubicles around them but they didn’t look twice at Dean stepping inside.

 

“Are you okay?” was the first thing he asked, talking quietly. Cas nodded.

 

“Yes, I’m feeling better, thank you. I just wanted to ask if you wanted to do something later, after school?” Cas looked at him hopefully, Dean chewed at his lip nervously. Of course he wanted to do something but the guy had got in trouble over something as small as leaving his wallet in Dean’s car. He didn’t want to make anything more difficult for him but at the same time he would love to see him. He then remembered it was Monday.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m working...” he said, Cas’ smile slowly slipped off his face.

 

“Oh, it’s okay, it doesn’t matter.” He looked away and loosened his tie, rolling it up and putting it on top of his bag. Dean realised he didn’t want to go home.

 

“You could come with me, if you want? I just, it might not really be your thing... There would be oil everywhere and you might get it on your nice suit, I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.”

 

“No, it’s okay, I wouldn’t want to bother Mr. Singer, I’d probably get in the way—“ He shrugged off his blazer and looked disappointed, avoiding looking at Dean.

 

“No, you wouldn’t! I just, you could borrow some of my clothes and I would take you home after, you could say you were going to the library, I just don’t want you to get into trouble.” Okay, he was rambling. Did he sound desperate? Because that was just sad.

 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.”

 

“Why would you be a—look, if I didn’t want you to come I wouldn’t offer. I could even show you how to change your oil.” He smiled, trying to catch his eye again.

 

“ I, er, thank you, Dean.”

 

“No problem.” Dean watched as Cas pulled his shirt over his head, only then did he realise that he was actually getting changed. His eyes glanced down before he could stop himself. “Sorry,” he muttered, adjusting his eyes but he wasn’t sure where to look. Cas smiled knowingly and then unzipped his trousers slowly, watching Dean’s face as he started to slip them down, revealing a dark purple pair of boxers. Dean turned scarlet.

 

“Tease!” he hissed and turned around, ignoring Cas laughing at him. He was happy to hear him laugh like that again. They changed quickly and then stood awkwardly against the cubicle walls, it made him think of last week. The rest of the class must have arrived because it was really noisy outside, he watched Cas glance at his watch. He shuffled his shoes together, staring at them as the time passed by and then he was being pressed against the wall, those familiar lips pressing against his own. He stared at him wide-eyed, it took a few seconds for his brain to catch up and he started to move his lips. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and was kissing him with everything he had, pressed close to him. It was making him warm and he felt the familiar swirl of arousal. “Cas,” he whispered, they pulled away and Cas stared at him, that same look that completely unravelled him and turned him to mush. He leaned in and kissed him again. “Cas,” he repeated, pulling away and laughing slightly. He pulled him into a hug and whispered into his ear. “If you don’t stop that you’re going to make me hard, I don’t really want to have to explain that to our classmates.” He smiled and kissed his cheek.

 

“I’ll save it for later then,” he whispered back, Dean couldn’t resist and gave him one last kiss. He smiled at him, all teeth and gums

 

“You make me happy.”

 

“Good.” Dean grinned, squeezing one last time. A whistle sounded outside and the boys jumped apart, making sure their clothes were straight until they went outside; they left their bags in the cubicle. Cas ran back and grabbed his water bottle. They stood in the archway of the shower rooms, gathering with the other guys there.  The teacher today wasn’t the same one as they had last week, it was a middle aged lady.

 

“Boys! Your choices today are as followed: we have mixed dodgeball in the gym, boys baseball on the field and mixed soccer in the cage! Take your pick and make your way over! You have five minutes to decide!” she yelled. Cas turned to Dean looking horrified, he laughed.

 

“We’re not doing soccer, that’s for sure!” Castiel elbowed him.

 

“I said I was sorry!” Dean was still laughing at how terrified he looked at the concept of doing sports. “It’s not funny, Dean.”

 

”Well, what are we going to do then?” Dean asked, trying to be serious, everyone else was already filing out. Cas shrugged.

 

“I might just stay here.”

 

“No, you won’t,” he said, smiling fondly, Cas wasn’t going to bunk off by himself.

 

“You're right, I won’t,” he admitted.

 

“Come and play dodgeball with me.” Cas looked even more alarmed.

 

“No way, I’ll die.”

 

“It will be good stress relief, be on my team, I’m awesome.”

 

“...Really?”

 

“Yeah, really, now come on before we get split up.” They made their way to the gym, Cas complaining about his gym shorts, they sat on one of the benches until the teachers returned. She opened the store cupboard.

 

“Okay, girls and guys! Split yourself into two groups!” Everyone started splitting into their groups, Dean stood with Cas awkwardly, at least it wasn’t as bad as last week, being by himself was worse.

 

“Which side do we go to?” he asked, looking between the two sides, there was still a lot people deciding but he didn’t want them to be separated. Dean hadn’t spoken to many people yet, he didn’t know which people to avoid.

 

“We’ll go to Jo, she’s quite nice.” Dean looked at him blankly; Cas rolled his eyes and dragged him over to the left group. The teacher blew the whistle again, they all fell silent. She greeted the class and then took attendance.

 

“Dodgeball, you all know how to play, keep it clean.” She stared around between the two groups. “Dick, you need to swap with Ruby.” The two frowned but crossed the gym with no complaints. “Annnddd, Rachel with Bella.” Her eyes swept over to Dean, and Cas took a step closer and grabbed his sleeve. She smiled at him and looked away, seemingly pleased with the groups. She went through all the rules again and threw the balls out, everyone got in position, Cas stood closer to Dean than necessary.

 

She blew the whistle.

 

Dean jumped out of the way immediately and dragged his friend with him by his sleeve. He looked terrified and let himself be pulled around like a rag doll. “Come on! Move!” he yelled, trying to make him hear him over the loud volume of the echoing hall.

 

“I am!” he yelled back, he made the mistake of looking at Dean and almost got hit, Dean pushed him out the way. A ball rolled in front of Cas and he scrambled to pick it up, Dean grabbed one from nearby too.

 

“Go on! On three! One, two, three!” They both aimed and took out both players, Castiel smiled, surprised he had managed to get someone and started to get into the game a bit more. They ended up losing the first game, Cas was hit first and then Dean soon after but he wasn’t as disappointed as he usually was because Cas looked like he was having fun. He forced himself to look away and stole some water from Cas’ bottle.

 

“You’ll give me germs,” Cas deadpanned. Dean spat water on the floor and it almost went up his nose as he burst out laughing. He slapped his arm.

 

“You dick. As if.” He laughed, still choking slightly, Cas grinned at him. A girl with blond hair interrupted them.

 

“Hey, Castiel!” she said, Cas looked slightly confused at why he was being spoken to. Dean recognised her as the girl who sat next to him in Computer Science. “Who’s your friend?” She asked, looking more at Dean than Cas.

 

“Erm, this is Dean Winchester, Dean, this is Jo Harvelle.” He looked between the two, starting to frown. Dean kind of wanted her to go away, Cas had been smiling and now she was annoying him but he couldn’t exactly tell her to fuck off.

 

“Dean! You sat next to me in Ash’s class last week.” He felt like he should point out that actually she had sat next to him, but he didn’t really feel like this was the right time. He nodded. “Well, you can sit next to me again if you want?” He glanced at Cas who had went and sat down staring stonily at the wall and playing with the water bottle.

 

“Well, he can sit with us too if he can’t bear to be apart from you,” she said sarcastically, obviously thinking Cas wouldn’t hear her. Cas jumped up and then into the conversation.

 

“Brilliant! We’ll see you then!” Dean tried not to laugh at his fake enthusiasm. He watched him march off to grab a ball for himself and Dean.

 

“What’s his problem?” She shot him a dirty look as walked off. “He doesn’t fancy you does he?”

 

“Don’t be a bitch, you aren’t really impressing me right now,” Dean said, he didn’t like being mean to girls but he hated Cas being annoyed more. Dean caught the ball that Cas threw at him and got into position, waiting for the whistle to blow again. Cas stood to the left of him and Jo to the right.

 

“I’m sorry, I get mean around cute boys, it’s a defence mechanism,” she apologised, but the whistle sounded and he didn’t answer her. He ran to Cas straight away who was throwing his ball a tad harder than he should be. He followed suite knowing it was unnecessary but it made him feel better. That girl, Jo, had really offended Cas, especially since he had said she was nice earlier. What a kick in the teeth. It probably wasn’t the best time to be thinking about it because at that moment he got hit and had to sit out until next game. He was a bit annoyed but it was okay, Cas looked at him and pouted, Dean gave him a thumbs up. Their team won that time and Cas lasted until the end, Dean slapped him on the back, proud of him.

 

“Look at you! Thought you said you couldn’t play!?” Cas looked so pleased with himself... Until Jo came back over. He rolled his eyes.

 

“Hey, Castiel,” she said awkwardly, glancing at Dean. “Sorry I was mean, I can be a bitch but I don’t mean it. But we can sit together last period, right?” Cas looked at her suspiciously. To Dean it was obvious that she had realised Dean wouldn’t talk to her until she apologised to Cas. He didn’t know whether that was nice or sneaky.

 

“It’s okay.” He shrugged. “I’ll see you later. I’m going to the toilet,” he said, turning to Dean and walking off back into the locker room.

 

“Is he okay?” she asked Dean. “God, I’m a bitch, tell him I’m sorry. I’ve never really spoken to him, I didn’t know he was so sensitive.” He wanted to argue that he wasn’t that he was just having a shitty day but he hesitated, it wasn’t his business to tell. He glanced at the teacher who had watched Cas walk out, she nodded towards the door and let him leave.

 

He jogged into the room and went straight to the showers, Cas was waiting where he expected. Cas actually jumped on him when he walked in the cubicle.

 

“Jesus Christ!” He almost dropped him but caught him in time, holding him up with one hand and using his other hand to fumble to lock the door.

 

“Don’t blaspheme,” he muttered before devouring Dean’s mouth. He was surprised but knew what had bought it on, he didn’t mention it. He knew Cas needed to feel wanted right now, he knew he had his own issues so he wasn’t going to call his friend out on it. He let himself comfort him in the way Cas wanted right now. He pressed him against the wall, gripping him by the back of his thighs. It was strange leaning up to kiss Cas but it felt kind of hot too.

 

“Please just, I—“ Cas begged, sounding incoherent. He pushed him firmer against the wall with his body, their mouths meeting again and battling furiously. Dean’s hands slipped to Cas’ ass, squeezing it and forcing their groins together. Dean let him gently back to the floor, but kept hold of one of his thighs on his hip, his other hand pushing down the back of his shorts and cupping his ass. They rutted together, their mouths not leaving each other until Cas started moaning into his mouth. Dean pulled out the kiss and put his hand over Cas’ mouth trying to keep him quiet. He leant his head against the wall and let Dean devour him.

 

“Shhhh...” He kissed him on the side of his face, keeping his hand in place and then letting his head rest on his friend’s shoulder. Dean came first, his hips stuttering and moaning softly. He let go off Cas’ leg guiding it to the ground and then was kissing him again, his other hand rubbing him through his shorts. Cas pushed at them trying to get them down and Dean took the hint. He wrapped his hand around him and jacked him off, breathing heavy into his shoulder, Cas groaned and it wasn’t long before he was spilling over his fist. Cas slid to the floor and he followed him, wiping his hand on his shirt and moving so they were sat side by side.

 

“This has to stop at school, we’re gonna get caught one day,” he mumbled, and stared down at Cas’ crotch, he hadn’t bothered to pull his shorts up. Cas slapped him and hiked them up.

 

“Do you actually care? You perv.”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Me either. I think I needed that. _Now_ I feel better.” Dean grinned and leant against him.

 

“Shall we go back?” Cas asked, sounding like he didn’t want to move.

 

“Hell no, I have jizz on my shirt.”


	10. Chapter Five - Part Two

The two sat in the showers for a long time, they knew they would have to go back at some point; they had gym again after break as well, though it was quite nice having a break between both lessons.  They sat and chatted about what to do after school and Castiel said that Sam could go to his to do his project again, their parents knew Gabriel was doing a project and wouldn’t mind a friend going over. That got Sam out of his hair and he agreed, it might be best is Sam and Gabriel didn’t know Cas was going to the garage. He was sure Bobby wouldn’t say anything. By the time they actually moved the bell rang and everyone came flooding in for the break, they stayed in the cubicle until the room was silent.

 

“Come on, let’s get cleaned off.” Dean pulled his friend up. “Ew, how the fuck am I going to get this off my shirt? I don’t have a spare.” He walked to the sink and started to scrub it with a wet paper towel.

 

“You’ll make it worse.” Cas looked more amused than anything. “And now it’s wet, you’ll draw attention to it.” Dean mocked him, copying what he had said in a babyish voice.

 

“It’s weeeeet, you’ll draw  atteeennntiiooon!” He pulled his t-shirt away from his stomach and shoved it under the hand dryer, sticking his tongue out at his friend. Cas raised an eyebrow at him and then they both laughed.

 

* * *

 

 

The second half of gym wasn’t so bad. The choices were trampolining, dance or tennis. It was Dean’s turn to look horrified. Seems he had two left feet and had never played tennis in his life they decided they would do trampolining which had Cas bouncing in excitement.

 

“This is going to be amazing! Like flying!”

 

“This is going to be horrible! I hate heights!”

 

The teacher doing the lesson was the same lady as before and Dean fidgeted, worried he would get in trouble for missing half the last lesson. She just smiled and gestured for Cas to go over to her, Dean stayed on the spot. He watched her talk to him, she didn’t look angry, Cas just smiled and nodded in response and then came to stand next to him again.

 

Dean had thought that trampolining would be mainly girls but the class was pretty equal. As it was the first lesson they went through the basics, straight jumps, tuck jumps and turns. Dean thought he handled it quite well as long as he didn’t look down and he stared at the clock on the wall. He was really impressed with Cas but he didn’t let it show, his eyes widened when he noticed how flexible he was, he made it look easy. At the end of the lesson he was aching but had actually enjoyed it, not like he would admit that to Castiel.

 

They separated after gym, promising to see each other in Computer Sciences; Cas would go to the library at lunch time as usual, he did some kind of language club today apparently. He went to English and just put his head down, concentrating on the lesson, it made the time go quicker if nothing else.

 

At lunch he was in a really good mood as he tucked into his sandwich, not just for the fact he had copped a feel of Cas but because the guy seemed genuinely in a better mood. He didn’t mind sitting by himself seems Sam had deserted him for Gabriel as well. He finished off his sandwich and went to buy a milkshake, he still had ages left so he decided to start some of his English homework. He had to do some creative writing, a short story that was at least two thousand words. For Dean, that number was huge but he figured if he could at least get a plan done then it might flow easier from there. He picked a title first, deciding to call it The Assassin, he wrote in the centre of the page and wrote all his idea’s around it. The protagonist would be a male, and the point of view from the assassin, him doing his latest job of killing some woman as she said goodbye to her lover on the doorstep of her house. It would be pinned on the boyfriend who fled the scene but the twist would be that the assassin was actually the woman’s husband and the guy had been his best friend who was sleeping with her. He wasn’t sure where the idea came from but as he wrote more ideas down he actually started to look forward to when he sat down to type it up.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean was first to Computer Science again last lesson, he sat down silently, Mr. Lindberg wasn’t there but the door was open so he figured it was okay. He fiddled around on the internet for a while, checking his facebook but there was nothing new. The class filtered in and Jo sat down next to him, he didn’t acknowledge her presence.

 

“I’m sorry about earlier, is Castiel okay?” she asked, he turned to look at her, closing his tabs on the browser.

 

“I’m not his messenger, why don’t you ask him?” He nodded towards to door where he had just walked in. He took one look at Jo and pulled a face behind her back as he passed, he went to sit in the front row again. Dean was disappointed but he didn’t let it show.

 

“I did, he ignored me.” Dean mentally congratulated him, after all, Jo was kind of a bitch earlier, it was no wonder he didn’t want to talk to her.

 

“He might come around,” he lied. He swung back on his chair slightly to discreetly see what Cas was doing. He couldn’t see.

 

“So are you and Castiel good friends?” she asked, scooting closer, Dean gave up trying to look and let himself fall forwards.

 

“Yeah, Cas is really cool,” he said, trying to watch what he said, he wasn’t sure how far his voice was carrying.

 

“I never noticed, he always seemed kinda nerdy to me.” Jo shrugged, the comment annoyed him a bit.

 

“Oh yeah, he’s stuck in his work but there’s a real nice guy under all of that,” he replied, feeling like he needed to defend him, it wasn’t right that she was sat judging him so hard when she probably had never had a real conversation with him.

 

“Are you talking about Castiel Novak?” One of the jocks asked as they caught some of the conversation. Dean’s eyes darted over to Cas again before answering.

 

“Yeah, what of it?” He just looked at Dean disbelieving. “No, man, honest. Friday night he invited me down the lakes, we got totally wrecked and was totally almost attacked by this wolf that he—“ Cas snorted and scooted over in his chair, looking amused.

 

“Dean, if you’re going to tell it, then do it properly, it was you that took us to the lakes.” He smiled.

 

“Yeah, but you stole that bottle of whiskey from your dad!” He pointed out, being sure to try and brag on Cas’ behalf. He felt quite snug at the look of surprise on their faces.

 

“Oh, God!” Castiel laughed and buried his face in his hands as he remembered. “And in the morning I had to run across town to get to the church to meet my dad! This dick was passed out in the back seat!” Everyone laughed, even Dean.

 

“It was a good night actually,” he said, smiling fondly at his friend.

 

“Well, why don’t you guys come to my party on Saturday?” Jo asked, looking to a girl who Dean thought was Bella, who nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Your brothers are coming too!” The girl-that-could-be-Bella squealed. Cas nodded, though Dean wasn’t sure if it was genuine or not.

 

“I’ll see what I’m doing,” he said.

 

“Er, me too,” he copied, following suit. He didn’t want to say yes right now.

 

“Everyone’s gonna be there, my mom’s going away so I’m opening up the bar after hours. Bring like ten dollars each for booze and we’re cool, or bring your own.” She shrugged. Dean realised who Jo must have been then, he remembered Bobby taking him to Ellen Harvelle’s bar when he was smaller, he used to play pool there when he was a kid. A loud whistle signalled Mr. Lindbergs arrival and everyone shut up and faced their PC’s, he smiled at Cas and watched him turn around. He better pay attention as well today.

 

* * *

 

 

As promised after school Cas was waiting for him at the impala with Gabriel, Dean let them in and they sat waiting for Sam. When he arrived he was annoyed to see the front seat taken.

 

“Why does he get to sit up front? You don’t let me!”

 

“Only babies whine, Sam,” he said as he started the car and reversed out. “Are you coming to the garage today?” he prompted, trying to steer the conversation towards Sam **not** going tothe garage.

 

“I thought we might be going to Castiel’s?” Dean watched him through the mirror, he was looking at Gabriel confused who was shrugging.

 

“Oh, I was going to take Gabriel home, you can go too if you want? I’ll pick you up later, is that okay?” he asked Cas, who managed to keep a straight face.

 

“Of course, you are always welcome over, Sam.” Sam grinned and nodded at Dean in the mirror.

 

“Okay, to the Novak mansion we go.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean dropped the boys at the gate and Sam promised he would text as soon as the Milton’s wanted him to go. They stayed and watched until they were through the front door and then he did a U turn, ready to head home. Dean almost jumped when he felt a hand rest on his on the gearstick, he glanced down but didn’t move it.

 

“Dean, I just wanted to say that I think you should go to Jo’s party, it would be a good chance to get to know other people, I don’t exactly see you much at school, you should make more friends.”

 

“Are you going?” He hoped so, it would be fun.

 

“I can’t, Bella said Luke and Mike are going.” He sighed deeply.

 

“Who?”

 

“My brothers, they’ll probably bring loads of college friends and they’ll grass me in to our parents.” He didn’t sound happy again.

 

“That sucks man, I thought it be cool if we both go, no matter. I can do something with you instead,” he offered.

 

“No, it’s fine, I have church in the morning and I have to go.” It sounded like a complete drag.

 

“Can’t you miss it once?”

 

“No, I want to go, this week we are looking at Revelation, and afterwards me and Balthazar will go—“

 

“Balthazar? Wow, his parents didn’t love him! What kind of name is that?” Dean interrupted, Cas shrugged and ignored him, he carried on talking obviously used to Dean already.

 

“Anyway, we’re going to be talking about illnesses and the possible illnesses as mentioned in the bible and cured by – Sorry, you have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

 

“Sorry, I’m clueless. So, who’s this Balthazar anyway? You never mentioned him before.” From the impression he got, he was Cas’ only friend, it was nice to hear he actually socialised with other people.

 

“I only ever see him on Sundays and sometimes we meet in the week to do bible study. He’s okay, a little snobby though, I like people who are more down to earth,” he admitted, sounding a little guilty for confessing that.

 

“Like me?” Dean joked.

 

“Like you.” He smiled at this, wide and squeezed his hand.

 

The butterflies were back.

 

“So, we’ll go inside and change and then to the garage, last chance to back out.”

 

Dean pulled into the drive and parked up, Cas’ hand leaving his when he put on the handbrake. Cas just rolled his eyes and grabbed his school bag, getting out the car. Dean ushered him inside and pointed up the stairs. “This way.” Cas climbed up and Dean showed him to his bedroom, he felt a bit self conscious, he hadn’t made his bed or finished opening his boxes. “So, this is home.” Cas looked around and sat down on the bed slowly.

 

“I could help you unpack if you want?” he offered and Dean nodded.

 

  
“Sure, you can come over Saturday daytime if you’re not doing anything.” Dean sat next to him. “I’m sorry you had a bad day today.”  He meant it too.

 

“It wasn’t your fault, I was just feeling sorry for myself that all.” He tried to brush it off like it wasn’t a big deal he had almost been crying this morning.

 

“No, your day was rotten and I wish I could have helped you more.”

 

“You did, you really made me feel better. Thanks for bring me here, you didn’t have to.”

 

“I like spending time with you!” he said, hoping he could drill it into the guys head. “Come here.” he said softly. They met in the middle, their bodies knowing what was happening, they hugged, they were kind of in an awkward position but it was okay. They leant against each other and Dean shifted slightly so it was more comfortable.

 

“You could come stay at my house on Friday if you want? Nobody would even notice you were there.” Cas spoke quietly into his ear, sounding shy. Dean was surprised at the invitation but there was no way he was turning it down, it would be nice to sleep next to Cas. He pulled away from their hug. There was only one thing he needed to ask.

 

“What about your family?”

 

“My parents will be gone, Anna stays in her room, Lucian and Micheal won’t arrive until Saturday and Gabriel won’t say anything. Besides, my room is the only one on the third floor, no—one can hear us, we can be as loud as we want, do whatever we want...” Dean briefly remembered that was why they used the intercom but that soon disappeared and all he could think about was Cas moaning loudly as he fingered himself while on the phone. He mouth went dry.

 

“Is that so? You sounded so good on the phone the other night.” Cas flushed and nodded.

 

“I would love to lay you down and worship you, you remember what I wanted to do, don’t you?” As if he could forget. He had thought about it, what it would feel like to have Cas’ lips wrapped around him. He had been given blowjobs before but there was something mind blowing at the thought of Castiel doing it. And he was sure any experience he had with Cassie (his ex) would be completely different. Cas was inexperienced, not in a bad way, in a –ohmygod, I-can’t-believe-you-would-do-that –for-me, kind of way. He licked his lips at the thought.

 

“Of course. You don’t have to do that for me though, I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He didn’t exactly have any competition. He knew Cas pretty much had him wrapped around his finger. He didn’t care, he liked what they had.

 

“No, it’s okay. I want to do it. I’ve been thinking about it. I think about you a lot actually.”

 

“Haha, I bet you do!” he taunted. Cas blushed again and hit him softly.

 

“I’m joking, I think about you too.” They sat there for a while in silence, it was kind of comforting. “Anyway, I’ll get you some clothes.” Dean went to the dresser and pulled out a tee-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans that he never wore. “Do you need shoes? I’m guessing we’re about the same size.” He handed the clothes over and Cas nodded he started undressing and he pointed looked at the floor as he ran out to get some shoes from downstairs. When he got back Cas was sat on the bed again, staring around the room with a neat pile of clothes folded on his lap. Dean threw the sneakers in front of Cas’ socked feet and then stripped, quickly pulling on his own work clothes. He could feel the other guy’s eyes on him. “You’re insatiable,” he muttered, really not minding at all. The guy had practically seen him naked anyway.

 

Cas held his hands up in mock surrender.

 

“I was just looking!” He grinned. Dean toed his shoes back on.

 

“Are you ready to go?” His friend nodded enthusiastically, he looked excited and it warmed him inside, damn butterflies again.

 

“Yes.” He nodded again. He stood up, ready to follow Dean out the room, he gestured for him to go first. As he tried to pass he grabbed him, his clothes falling to the floor, Dean pulled him into a hug and pressed his lips against his. Cas sucked in a breath through his nose and then melted into the kiss. Dean picked him up gently and held him similar to how they did earlier.

  
“I love picking you up,” he whispered into the kiss, biting at his bottom lip. “It’s like a full body hug.” He kissed him again, deeply and leaving Cas almost gasping for breath. “That and you look fucking hot in my clothes,” he said seriously before dropping him without warning. He landed on his feet luckily. Dean chuckled and ran from the room, thundering down the stairs.

 

“Dean!” his voice echoed down the hall. “You can’t just do that and then run away!” He chased after him and caught him up just after the bottom of the stairs. He tackled him to the floor and then pinned him down, sitting on his hips. “You gave me a boner, do something to me.” he begged, his eyes boring into Dean.

 

“Pretty eyes won’t work today.” Cas’ mouth dropped open.

 

“You tease!” he gasped. “Are you going to make me beg?” His voice dropped that octave lower and Dean licked his lips and lifted his hands behind his head, laying back and looking pleased with himself.

 

“If you insist.”

 

“No! You’re evil!” he whined.

 

Dean’s phone rang and it vibrated on Cas’ thigh, he yelped and jumped off, collapsing next to Dean on the floor. It was Bobby on the phone asking where he was. Cas groaned and stood up, helping Dean to his feet.

 

“Yeah, I’m just leaving now, I’m bringing Cas with me, I had to drop his little brother home and Sam is staying there, I’m going to pick him up later,” he explained. Bobby hummed and said he was just making sure he wasn’t dead then hung up. Dean pocketed his phone again. “We’ll have to save this for another day.” Cas looked down at his own obvious erection tenting his loaned jeans and pouted. Dean laughed.


	11. Chapter Five - Part Three

They drove over to Bobby’s soon after they finished messing around. Dean was taking great joy in entertaining his friend in his taste of music. Cas seemed a little alarmed at first at the songs but soon was nodding his head along and trying to get into it.

 

“I’m surprised by your taste in music,” he said when Dean skipped to the next song, he turned the volume down so it was comfortably in the background.

 

“Why? Do I look like I listen to dubstep or something?”

 

“I don’t know what that is.” He looked at him confused.

 

“Good.” He laughed. “It’s dumb. So what type of music do you listen to?” Cas shrugged.

 

“I don’t know, just music on the radio, I have some classical CD’s which I enjoy, Philip Glass and Rob Costlow I really like at the moment. My parents are quite strict with what I listen to because of the occult.” Dean had no clue what Cas had just said, he had never heard of them bands or whatever they were so he just nodded. “I like what you played me now though, it was a bit startling at first but I image you can quite easily get lost in it.” Dean nodded silently and realised Cas was a blank canvas when it came to music, he would have a good time introducing him to all of his favourites. The night they had gone out to the lake he had planned to play through several CD’s but they hadn’t really got that far.

 

They pulled into Bobby’s land and Cas stuck his face to the window. “I’ve never been here before, if our car’s have faults my dad takes them to the manufacturer.”

 

“It’s too expensive that way, Bobby’s the only decent mechanic for miles and he has really good communication with other garages so he can get new parts real quick and cheap.” They parked up and stepped out the car, Dean chatting away to Cas as they made their way over to the only warehouse open. Cas followed closely behind him.

 

“Hey kids!” Bobby greeted, he was at eating a sandwich, Rufus’ legs were sticking from under a truck. “Castiel, it’s nice to meet ya lad, Bobby Singer, the guy hiding under the truck is Rufus.” He held out his hand which Cas shook enthusiastically.

 

“It’s nice to see you, I hope I’m not intruding, Dean said it was okay.” He smiled timidly as if he was afraid he would be told off.

 

“Of course it’s fine, and Sam’s at your house right? He’s friends with your little brother?”  Cas nodded.

 

“Yes, they seem to get on well, my parents are there of course, I would never leave them unattended.” Bobby gave him a weird look as if he had a screw loose.

 

“Well, that good to hear. I’m glad to see you and Dean sorted out your differences from the other day.” Cas glanced at Dean and nodded, his smile becoming more sincere.

 

“Yes, thank you, it was just a little bit of a misunderstanding,” he explained.

 

“You should have seen Dean moping around the house, he thought you had fell out with him, he had a right sour face all day.” Bobby laughed as the smile dropped off Dean’s face.

 

“Bobby!” Dean scolded, embarrassment seeping into him, he could feel his cheeks starting to burn. Bobby laughed and Cas looked pleasantly surprised. “I wasn’t moping,” he defended.

 

“You looked like a kicked puppy.” Dean frowned, trust Bobby to embarrass him! Cas was smiling though so he guessed it was okay, just this once.

 

“Thank you for letting me visit.” Cas piped up, obviously trying to change the subject again.

 

“You interested in cars boy?” Bobby looked at Cas expectantly.

 

“Well, I’m not really sure, I don’t know anything about them. Dean said he would teach me some basic things.”

 

“If you’re driving then you should know the basics at least, what car do you have?”

 

“Erm, it’s a series seven BMW, a er, Seden?” Cas looked at Dean, sounding more like he was asking him a question then telling Bobby.

 

“Seven-fifty i?” Bobby’s eyes brows raised in surprise. Dean knew Cas had a stupidly unnecessary car for someone his age but he had kind of forgotten the value to it, he didn’t really see price tags with him.

 

“I think so?”

 

“That’s a flashy car for a kid your age,” he commented, Dean could tell he was holding back saying something much ruder.

 

“I’d prefer something like Dean’s to be honest.” Bobby grinned.

 

“I like this kid! Don’t scare him away!” he barked at Dean.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved him off and then tried to shoo his friend out the room.  “Come on Cas, let’s go to the other warehouse, you got my list for tonight?” He turned back to his uncle. He grabbed a folder off a shelf and threw it at him.

 

“It’s taken care of. You’re on cleaning duty, save Rufus coming in early tomorrow. Have ‘em ready for collection.” Dean groaned. “Okay, come on Cas.” He pushed at Castiel, trying to get him to move.

 

“Thanks again, Mr Singer!” he yelled and smiled politely before Dean managed to drag him away.

 

“As far as I’m aware you wasn’t here!” he shouted back. Cas fell into step with Dean.

 

“Your uncle is really nice! I wish my family was that nice.” They came to a stop outside the warehouse a few meters down.

 

“Well, Gabriel is... tolerable,” Dean replied. Cas grinned and elbowed him.

 

Dean used his own set of keys to open the shutters; he kept them on his car keys just in case. Cas stepped back as Dean pushed the metal high above their heads and then scuttled under. “So, this is where I work, we just need to wash the cars,” Dean looked inside the folder. “The interior’s been signed off so it should be easy work, I hate doing the fiddly bits.” He threw the folder to the nearest table and opened a case on the wall to grab the keys. “It’ll be nice to have some company, Sam always hides in the office. You don’t mind helping, right?” Cas fidgeted and looked at his shoes. “You do know how to wash a car, right?” Dean stared disbelieving as Cas avoided his eye contact. He sighed deeply. It was something that was a second nature to him and Castiel hadn’t even had the experience. They were so different. “I’ll just bring the first car out, we’ll do it outside.” He climbed in and reversed the vehicle into the yard, it was for a nine o’clock collection tomorrow morning so he thought he would get it out of the way. He collected some hot water in buckets, sponges and window cleaner and set up the pressure washer.

 

“Right princess, come here.” Cas edged over nervously, Dean grabbed him and he squeaked. He held him from behind, pulling him close and holding the hose from the washer in his hands. Cas reached out and placed his hands just under Dean’s. “It doesn’t have to be perfect and it might get a bit messy but just have some fun with it,” he whispered into his ear. “The pressures high so it might push you back, ready?” Dean pressed the button and laughed as Cas yelped. He laughed, the sound infectious.

 

He soon got used to it and he proved to be a hard worker especially for a rich church boy like him. Dean tried to behave himself and keep his hands off him seems Bobby could walk outside any minute. That could be an awkward situation to explain. After then were finished and Dean put the cars back they sat on the impala and drank the sodas Dean had grabbed them from inside.

 

“Did you really mope around yesterday?” Cas spoke up, he wasn’t sure if he was teasing him or not.

 

“I wasn’t moping, I was just... tired.” He had been tired, exhausted from the stress of the situation. Looking back on it he felt stupid but he couldn’t help how he felt.

 

“Suuuure,” he replied, rolling his eyes in a playful manner. Dean shoved him.

 

“Bet you were no better.”

 

“I was very upset, I’m glad we can put it behind us, I was overreacting, I know I was a bit of an... assbutt,” he mumbled, sounding solemn.

 

“Assbutt?” Dean choked out, giggling.

 

“Yes, Dean.” Dean almost fell off the car he was laughing so much, Cas tilted his head adorably, looking completely lost and confused beyond repair. It made him laugh even more, the guy had no idea how hilarious he was.

 

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

 

* * *

 

 

Cas climbed into the backseat instead of the front to get changed back into his own clothes. Dean stared determinedly straight ahead, his hands gripping the wheel tight.

 

“You can drive, I’m fine.” Cas spoke from the back. He started the car and drove slowly down the drive, he wanted to glimpse in the front mirror but he resisted.

 

_Don’t look, don’t look._

 

If he looked in the back he would probably crash the car. He was happy when Cas climbed back into the front and secured his seatbelt. Cas turned the music up and put his hand on the gearstick.

 

He was disappointed when he reached Cas’ street, he stopped at the top, the same spot where he had the other day.

 

“Thanks for today, I’ll text you later, if I don’t call me before bed.” Dean nodded.

 

“Okay, babe, see you later.” Cas looked at him strange and Dean realised what had just come out of his mouth. The other guy got out the car a bit robotic, still casting him weird looks. “Babe?” He repeated, sounding disgusted with himself. Why did he say that?! He let his head hit the steering wheel in dismay. “Dick.” His phone beeped in his pocket and he pulled it out to peer at it.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 18:14  
I can still see you, you idiot.  

 

Dean groaned and decided to just go home and hide in shame for the rest of the day.


	12. Chapter Six

Dean drove home and went straight to the study to try and do his English essay while Sam wasn’t hogging the computer. He opened Microsoft Word and typed his notes up, separating them into a beginning, middle and end. He got bored quickly and opened itunes, creating a playlist of loads of mixed genre music that he fancied at that moment. He even listened to some of Sam’s music. He sang along to a lot of the songs and thought of Cas. He wondered if he would like it. He fiddled around trying to find some songs that he thought would make the guy smile and then got to downloading some software to burn a CD. He was there for about an hour before the phone rang.

 

“Hey bitch!” he answered knowing it would be Sam without even looking.

 

“Hi, can you come and pick me up? We’ve finished our project and Gabe’s parents are about to start dinner.”

 

“Be there in twenty, meet me at the top of the street.” Dean hung up and closed the word document, he realised he had only written six hundred words. Shrugging he searched around the desk and in the draws for a blank disk, he knew there were some hiding somewhere. He put a disk in the D drive and left it to burn, he figured it would be done by the time he was home again.

 

Later that night he found a blank CD case and measured some paper to stick into the front, once he was sure it fit properly he found a blue marker and wrote on it in his best handwriting. **To Castiel – The Sound of a Smile :)** He slid in back in the front and examined it, pleased with his gift and excited to give it to him tomorrow. 

 

He lay in bed that night reading through all the messages him and Cas had exchanged, he debated deleting them. If someone saw them then they would find out. He didn’t want anyone to ruin what they had when he wasn’t even sure what was happening or where it was going. All he knew was that Cas had quickly become the best friend he had ever had. It was crazy how everything could change in such a short time. He didn’t want to delete them though, he moved them to a folder and added a screen lock password to his phone. He decided to text Cas considering that it was getting late.

 

**_I have a present for you._ **

 

 **Cas**  
Recieved 22:13  
Is it something nice?

 

**_No, I thought I would give you something horrible._ **

 

 **Cas**  
Recieved 22:17  
That’s a bit mean! ;) x

 

**_No but seriously, it’s just something small but I made it myself, hope u like it! X_ **

 

 **Cas**  
Recieved 22:21  
Is it a surprise? I like surprises. ;)

 

**_Yep, I’ll give it to u tomorrow. How were the rents anyway? X_ **

 

 **Cas**  
Recieved 22:25  
Obnoxious but I got my car back so that’s a plus. Call me? X

 

Dean pressed his call button, Cas’ name was second to the top due to the frequency they called each other. He answered on the first ring.

 

“Hello,” he whispered, pulling the duvet above his head and getting comfortable. “Are you okay?”

  
“Of course, I’m just tired, today was so long.” He spoke quietly and his mouth was too close to the phone but he didn’t mind. It was nice to hear his voice.

 

“Hmmmm,” he hummed in agreement. “I guess double gym will do that to ya. Will you meet me tomorrow so I can give you your gift?”

 

“Sure, meet me tomorrow before school. I’m going to bed now, I just wanted to hear your voice for a minute.” Dean smiled fondly.

 

“Okay, goodnight.”

  
“Goodnight, _babe_ ,” he teased. Dean blushed and hung up, burying his face in the pillow and letting sleep claim him.

 

* * *

 

 

As promised Dean met Cas early on Tuesday morning, he discovered he hid in the library before school, he wasn’t surprised at all. He was surprised though when Cas slid a coffee across the table to him. “Morning!” he greeted, He had his head buried in a book but he looked up when Dean sat down. Dean held up his hand in greeting and picked up the paper cup.

 

“Thanks.” He stared at the upside down text that Cas was reading. “I didn’t know they had Latin here, I would have took it.” Cas grinned and raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really! I took it at my old school, it was my favourite lesson!”

 

“Huh, didn’t expect that.” He looked genuinely surprised and Dean felt smug that he had found something that he and Cas were on par with.

 

“So, do you think your teacher would let me join?”

 

“Maybe? It’s not really a class though. You’ll still have to do history,” he explained, Dean cursed mockingly and Cas smiled and scooted his chair closer. “You can get your qualification if you take your exam at the end of the year but you’ll need to speak to Chuck about it, he’s the librarian here, he watches over our group and sorts out our lesson plans.”

 

“So this is one of your study things?” Dean didn’t know if he was keen on working through his lunch but he had thought it was such a shame to waste three years of hard work when he had started here.

 

“It’s only on Mondays; it’s what I was doing yesterday.” Once a week wouldn’t be too bad and it would be with Cas.

 

“I’ll think about it.” Cas nodded.

 

“Come next week, just see what you think.” Dean nodded back and took a sip of his coffee. Cas was staring at him expectantly and looking at the bag on Dean’s shoulder.

 

Oh, right, present.

 

Dean pulled his bag into his lap and grabbed the CD from inside, he handed it to Cas who took it from him carefully. The guy stared at the cover for a while, a look of awe on his face and then broke into a smile, he opened it and read the cover inside. His eyes dancing in delight.

 

“Thank you, Dean, truly.” He looked like he wanted to kiss him. Dean looked around and realised that they couldn’t.

 

“Anytime.”

 

* * *

 

 

The week flew by quickly and with a few changes for Dean. By the end of Tuesday he had decided to join Cas’ Latin group and spoke to Chuck the librarian. He gave him last week’s work and told him to catch up. He happily complied.

 

On Wednesday he handed in his English Essay at the beginning of the lesson, by the end he was being asked to stay behind. He worried he might have got the wrong idea and she was going to make him do it again. As it turned out she was very impressed with his short story and wondered if he would expand on it. He was just missing the top mark and she was convinced he would reach it.

 

“But what if I add more and I make it worse?” he asked, concerned.

  
“You have two days to hand it in with everyone else, I will pick the one with the highest mark. Not all teachers are bad you know.” He told Cas and he was delighted for him.

 

Another change was that Cas had started sitting with him at break time in the canteen, it was nice and they managed to chat properly without having to meet each other before or after school (they still did anyway).

 

Jo Harvelle was also following them around like a shadow, when she wasn’t with Dean she was talking to Cas. Dean was glad to see the two had obviously sorted out their differences. Jo was actually really nice once she dropped the bitch act.

 

And of course, because Dean was going to stay at Cas’ that night, Friday dragged. He had double history last thing and after two lessons back to back he was no closer to understanding anything. He knew he just needed to memorise the facts but Crowley’s teaching method just wasn’t for him.

 

As he was walking out the classroom his phone vibrated in his pocket just as he was grabbed by Jo.

 

“Hey, you coming Saturday night?” She pushed him towards the wall so the other students could pass, forcing him to give her his attention.

 

“Sure,” he answered, he was actually planning to go and was looking forward to it, he hadn’t decided if he was going to drink yet though.

 

“Oh good, I want to introduce you to my friends! Is Castiel coming too? I haven’t seen him all day today.” She stared at him as if he knew all the answers; he’d only seen Cas as much as Jo had today.

 

“Sorry, he’s babysitting, he told me everyone was going to your party and his parents are away, there’s no-one else to look after Gabriel,” he explained awkwardly, he didn’t want it to sound like he was making excuses for Cas because he really couldn’t come.

 

“I didn’t think of that, I forgot Anna was coming too. Maybe next time, huh?” She leant forwards grinning at him, Dean leant back.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He was kind of keen to get home. His phone vibrated again because he hadn’t opened his message yet. “What time should I come over?” He thought he would double check.

 

“Everyone normally arrives around eleven.” She smiled.

 

“Okay, see ya, Jo.” She nodded and then yelped as Bella walked by and pulled her ponytail. Dean watched her run off after her yelling. He laughed for a minute and then pulled out his phone, making his way over to the car park.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 15:15  
I’m going to drive Gabriel home. I’ll pick you up from yours at 4. Bring your over night things ;) ... and your history books!! x  
  


**_Ok, I’ll see you then. Just spoke to Jo, she seems disappointed you’re not going._ **

 

He typed quickly and then strolled across the grass to his car, he was just scouring the car park for Cas’ car when his phone vibrated again.

 

 **Cas**  
Received 15:32  
I want to but I can’t. :(

 

Dean felt bad for him, it would be good for him to get out and have some fun. It wasn’t that he was boring it was because he hadn’t had the opportunity (or the friends) to do things like that before.  He didn’t know what to text back to that so he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

 

Sam climbed into the car a few minutes later, he drove them home quickly and parked the car into the garage, he wasn’t planning to use it tonight so he wanted it to be safe. Bobby’s truck was in the drive, he had promised he would close up the shop early so Dean could go to Cas’ house. He just wanted to tell him he was leaving at four. Predictably, Sam ran to the study to play online games with Gabriel, Bobby was in the garden fiddling with a motorbike. He pushed open the kitchen window to yell outside.

 

“Don’t forget I’m going out! I’m leaving at four, okay? Sam’s in the study!”

 

“Be good!” Bobby yelled back. Dean glanced at the clock, it was a quarter to four already, he ran upstairs to pack a bag. He grabbed the things he thought he might need and shoved them into his school bag, he emptied his books on his bed apart from his history things.

 

* * *

 

 

Cas picked him up on the dot and Dean was happy to hear music thumping in his car when he pulled up. He blushed when he realised it was his CD, Florence and the Machine was playing loudly. He jumped in wearing a grin.

 

“You liked it,” he greeted, shoving his bag on the floor and pulling his seatbelt on.

 

“I found this relevant. It’s called Bedroom Hymns, right?” He winked at him and Dean stared at his hands, smiling the whole time.

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately Cas wanted to help him with his history work as soon as they got in, he didn’t argue because it was his house. They sat in the kitchen again and Cas made them coffee. After an hour of going through everything Dean got the hang of it and Cas let him go though the rest by himself, confident he could do it now, though he did have to ask for help a few times.

 

Cas got on with his homework and didn’t look up for another hour, Dean shifted in his chair, he had finished and was just about to complain but Cas beat him to it.

 

“I’m hungry!” Cas groaned, letting his head thump against the table childishly. He pushed his books away at arm’s length. “What’s for dinner?” he asked, looking up at Dean as if he knew the answer.

 

“I don’t know, it’s your house,” he replied, amused at Cas’ sudden change in mood.

 

“...Want to get take out?” Dean shrugged. He wasn’t bothered, he knew he would get something tasty either way, Castiel was a good cook.

 

“I don’t mind.”

 

“I’ll ask upstairs what they want.” Cas grabbed his notebook and flicked it to a new page and then picked up his pen and hit the intercom.

 

“Who wants takeout?” he sang.

 

“Chinese!” Gabe was the first to answer.

 

“Yeh, Chinese is fine.” Anna’s moody voice said a few seconds later. Cas looked across the table at Dean in question. He nodded. He hadn’t had Chinese in ages.

 

“Right, right, what do you want?” He spoke into the intercom.

 

“I want wonton soup, lemon chicken and mushroom fried rice... and a soda.” Anna beat Gabriel to answering; Cas wrote it down and scribbled a line underneath to separate the order.

 

“Gabriel?” He waited for a response.

 

“Chicken balls and chips.”

 

“No rice?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“No starter?”

 

“No. Castiel, go away. I’m playing LOL with Sam, you’re making me die.” Cas huffed at his rude behaviour.

 

“At least he’s easy to please today,” he commented and wrote Gabriel’s food down. “What do you want, Dean?”

 

“I’ll have salt and pepper chicken wings please.”

 

“And?”

 

“Can I have noodles too?” Cas nodded and jotted it down. “You want soup? Their chicken and sweetcorn is to die for!” Dean scrunched his nose in distaste. “No, it’s good I promise!-“

 

“-Castiel, get fortune cookies!” Cas rolled his eyes and leaned forwards and grabbed the phone cable.

 

“Bye, Gabriel!” He pulled the wire out the wall. Dean laughed at him and nodded.

 

“Okay, I’ll try it.” Cas opened his laptop which had been on the table with them and turned the screen so it was facing between the two of them. He bought up the Chinese website and started adding the list to the menu.

 

“I normally call but I have no cash,” he explained.

 

“How are you paying then?” Cas grinned at him slyly and stood up, wandering over to a coffee container on the side. When he opened it Dean noticed it was empty. He pulled out a black credit card and smacked it on the table, hopping back onto the bar stool.

 

“It’s my dad’s treat.”

 

“I don’t want to get you into trouble,” he said it instantly.

 

“He won’t notice, I use it all the time.” Dean wasn’t reassured. He didn’t want to get in trouble either, he would never have the guts to do that to Bobby or his dad (even though he was an arsehole). “Seriously, it’s okay!” Dean didn’t want to argue so he just nodded, he stood up and pulled out his wallet, he grabbed ten dollars and tried to give it to Cas. He shook his head. “Save it for the party tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

 

They ate their dinner in the lounge, Dean had never been anywhere but the kitchen but it was how he imaged. The whole house had a fresh new feel to it and the lounge was the same. Cas took dinner trays up to Gabriel and Anna because they still didn’t know that Dean was here and he knew they would only come down for food. They wasn’t hiding that he was here but they wasn’t going to advertise it either.

 

After they finished eating Cas locked up the house, it was getting late and Dean was surprised to see it was after nine already. He followed Cas up the stairs, they went up three flights before he stepped off the large stairway and onto a corridor. They turned left and walked to the end to a closed door, one of three that were there. Another staircase was to the left of them, he didn’t ask where it went but he thought it might be the attic.

 

Cas opened the door and stepped inside. His room was large, the walls and carpet neutral coloured like the rest of the house. He had a large double bed between two windows and a cross hanging above the bed. A television was on the wall opposite the bed with a dresser underneath, various nick-nacks placed on the surface. The number of books could put Bobby’s study to shame, floating bookshelves dominated the upper walls, packed with novels, biographies and religious texts. Hundreds of books he had never even heard of.

 

“I was going to have a shower and get changed into my night clothes. Did you want to shower?” he asked, looking awkward as he pulled his pyjamas out one of the sets of draws.

 

“Yeh, I normally shower before bed.” Cas nodded and placed his own clothes on the bed, he led him over to one of the two doors on the far wall. It was an en-suite, very clean and bright. There were no visible bottles in the room, just a single toothbrush in a container on the sink.

 

“The towels are in here, just put it in the hamper when you are done. Shampoo and things are in here-“ He opened another cupboard door. “Please help yourself to whatever you need. Or, you can have a bath, whatever you prefer.” He looked around nervously; he was feeling out of place again. He knew he was being silly, it was only Cas after all. “You can lock the door, I won’t be offended. I’m going to lock my bedroom door anyway, you don’t have to- I’m rambling. I’ll just go.” He walked out and shut the door behind himself.

 

Dean promised himself he would one day have a bath here, it looked huge, but tonight a shower would have to suffice. He grabbed a towel and looked through all the toiletries, opening the bottles and sniffing them all before choosing what he wanted. He stripped and tried not to think about Cas on the other side of the door, he stared at the lock and jumped across the room to lock the door. He turned it slowly and tried to do it silently, he didn’t want Cas to know he was locking the door. He didn’t even know why he was doing it. He felt better for it anyway.

 

He figured out how to use the shower fairly quickly and tried to push Cas from his mind. He had got into certain habits and he really didn’t want to wank in his friends shower. His body wasn’t agreeing with his brain though and he turned the dial to cold.

 

“Argh!” he yelped, dropped the body wash with a bang and jumped back from the freezing spray. Apparently this shower was very responsive. There was a soft tap on the door.

 

“Are you okay?” The voice was muffled and very quiet but he heard it.

 

“Yeah! I’m fine!” he yelled over the spray of the shower, feeling like an idiot. He looked down, it had worked anyway. He finished washing himself, dawdling as long as he could, embarrassed before he became worried he might be using all the hot water. He got out realising he was being stupid and dried off and dressed in the bathroom. He pulled on clean underwear from his bag and his nicest set of pyjamas, normally he just wore sweat pants but he was trying to make an effort, what for he didn’t know. He made sure to put his towel in the hamper and looked around making sure he hadn’t made any mess before he stepped out, bag in hand. “Thank you, I feel much better.” Cas was sat on the floor pulling night clothes out of the dresser at the bottom of the bed. He stood and hugged them towards him.

 

“You’re very welcome, please make yourself comfortable, you can get into bed if you like.” Dean moved his bag to the bottom of the bed and then crawled into the left side. It was clear Cas slept on the right because the nightstand had an upside down book on it and a water bottle. “I’ll be a few minutes.” He disappeared into the bathroom and Dean heard the lock click, he didn’t feel so bad about it now. He let himself relax into the comfy bed, be swallowed by the pillows. It was the most comfortable bed he had ever laid on in his life. He stared up at the ceiling and listened to the running water, thinking about how he could get used to this. Maybe one day he would have a nice big house like this.

 

He leaned over and snatched the TV remote from Cas’ bedside cabinet and turned the tele on, there wasn’t anything interesting on so he turned it to a random music station and turned the volume down.

 

Castiel stepped out a while later and jumped onto the bed next to Dean, his hair sticking up and obviously towel dried, it was more wet than dry and Dean wanted to ruffle it.

 

“Sooooo, what do you want to do?” He bounced on the bed excited. Dean laughed at his silly behaviour.

 

“I’m not moving, I could live in this bed!”

 

“We can stay here.” Cas jumped up and turned the main light off and then turned on the lamp. He threw the covers back and climbed into the bed. He turned to face Dean as an automatic action and he copied so they were lying face to face. They lay there for a while just staring at each other, unsure what to do next.

 

“I don’t know why I kissed you that day, I’m glad I did.” Cas broke the silence.

 

“Me too...” Dean whispered. “...What are we, Cas?” He looked at him unsurely, the question had been bothering him for a while, he tried not to think about it but it was hard to avoid as he lay in bed next to the guy.

 

“Best friends.” He reached forwards and grabbed Dean’s hands, holding them in his own. The action completely contradicted what he had just said.

 

“With benefits?” He squeezed his hands back. He was happy with the answer, he wasn’t going to push Cas if he didn’t want to talk of it.

 

“Obviously,” he said slowly, like he was thinking about it. “I – Thank you for seeing past the religion and the books, I know I’m boring--”

 

“No way, I love those things about you. They make you who you are. Never change,” he blurted out, he didn’t like it when Cas put himself down.

 

“Nobody has really SEEN me before, I used to feel invisible. I know I’m not the best looking or the coolest or—“ He was obsessively staring at Dean’s hands, turning them in his own and inspecting them. He looked nervous and was starting to babble. He interrupted him.

 

“I see you. And you’ve got me, you’ve already impressed me, you’re beautiful and amazing and you don’t even realise—“

 

“Kiss me.” His voice was desperate and when he said it, it wasn’t a question but a demand. He didn’t wait for Dean though, he closed the space between them and pressed his lips awkwardly against his own.

 

They kissed for a long time, enjoying the feel of each other but after a while Dean could feel Cas’ confidence ebbing away, he was slowing down. He started to wonder what was wrong, Dean gently pulled away. They leaned their foreheads together and Cas laughed quietly and awkwardly.

 

“I’m just nervous, that’s all,” he said, answering Dean’s silent question.

 

“Don’t be, doesn’t it feel natural? If I ever feel nervous or scared I look at you and I know you’re just as terrified as me and when I look in your eyes I know everything will be okay.” He realised they were still holding hands and he let go so he could shove his arm under the pillow and hug him.

 

“I bet you say that to all the boys,” Cas joked, snuggling into the embrace.

 

“No way, just one. We don’t have to do anything, I never expect it and every time it happens it’s a bigger surprise.” Of course Dean had thought about what happened between them, more than he should if he was being honest. But he was sure he would be just as happy lying here and listening to the music, enjoying the feel of him.

 

“I want to... If you want to.” Cas pulled back from the hug to look at him again.

 

“You don’t have to do what you said.” He remembered well what Cas had promised him, he wanted him to, really, really, wanted him too. But not if it would make him uncomfortable.

 

“No pressure?”

 

“No pressure,” he agreed.

 

“Let’s just see what happens... You can kiss me again.”

 

He did and shuffled impossibly closer, bringing his hand up to cup his face, he could feel the stubble against his palm and he stroked his thumb across it. The kiss was gentle, closed mouthed and Dean relaxed fully into it. Castiel felt so responsive, he could feel him melt into the kiss, could feel the passion and the hesitance in his touch.

 

It was addictive.

 

He shifted closer and let his hand move down to Cas’ hip. Cas nodded as if he knew what he was going to ask, he slipped his hand under his shirt. His skin was soft and warm and his gripped it firmly. Cas mirrored the action, his hand starting to stroke up and down Dean’s side. It gave him goosebumps. He didn’t remember him pulling his shirt up but he didn’t care.

 

He opened his mouth further to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue tease at Cas’ bottom lip. They touched tongues briefly before Dean moved so he was slightly above Cas, the other guy laying flat but Dean on his side. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, he stroked his fingers up Cas’ chest, tickling across the skin until he caught something small and hard. Cas gasped in his mouth. He let his fingers play with his nipple, making it hard and rubbing gently over it. Feeling Cas arch into the sensation.

 

“Let me touch you, I promise I’ll make it so good,” he breathed into his mouth, Cas nodded slowly and Dean gripped his lip between his teeth gently. “Take your shirt off.”

 

They moved away from each other briefly, Dean sat up on his knees and Cas pushed himself up onto his elbows. His eyes flicked towards the light and Dean took the hint, he switched it off before leaning back and taking his own shirt off first, trying to even the field. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness but he could still see Cas, he watched him pull his own shirt off, the TV producing a soft blue glow on the music channel. “Is this okay?” he asked carefully.

 

“Yeah.” Cas didn’t break eye contact with him as he lifted his hips and pulled his pyjama bottoms off. Dean took a steady breath, trying to calm down as he felt arousal swirl in his stomach.

 

He snaked his hand down the man’s chest, over his flat stomach and down to the throbbing heat that was lying there hard and twitching slightly. He ghosted his hand over it, the smaller man gasped and squirmed, trying to get that hand to touch him properly. He withdrew.  He leant forwards and pressed a kiss over the man’s heart and started trailing kisses down, down, down, licking and biting.

 

He mouthed down his happy trail, his muscle felt firm under his lips. Cas’ skin was smooth under and very, very hot to touch, he relished the feeling. He leaned back slightly as he had reached the inevitable. He stared at the man who was displaying himself, only ever saw by him, untouched by anyone else, he would never deny him what he wanted. He couldn’t.

 

And Cas’ eyes were begging him, wide in surprise, unbelieving.

 

They had talked about Cas doing this to Dean but never the other way around. Dean had the confidence that if Cas didn’t want him to, he would tell him to stop. He needed to do this, he was scared, hell, he was petrified but he knew everything would be okay, this was Cas after all.

 

Dean stared at him deliberately as he reached forward with a trembling hand, with his index finger swiped up precum from the head of Cas’ cock, bringing it slowly in front of his mouth. His tongue sneaked out and licked the digit and Dean’s eyes fluttered closed as he processed what he had just done. It was salty and strange but it was Cas. He hummed content as the taste ran over his taste buds.

 

“I- err...” Cas stumbled over his words, his breath jittery. “You don’t have to...” He was staring at Dean’s lips though. Dean grinned cheekily and then broke eye contact, looking down at Cas dick.

 

He could do this, he could totally do this.

 

... He _wanted_ to do this.

 

He reached forward and gently wrapped his right hand around the length, slowly wanking him and watching as precome dripped from the slit. He really, really wanted to lick it.

 

So he did.

 

Cas gasped loudly above him and Dean leapt back quickly as he thrust his hips up. He grinned at his amateur mistake, he should have known Cas would do that, he had done it the first time too.

 

“’m so sorry,” he mumbled above him, lifting his head off the pillow. “You okay?” Dean nodded and leant forwards again, he opened his mouth and sucked at the head of his cock. Cas’ head fell back into the pillow and he moaned. 

 

Cas felt silky and the sensation of having something in his mouth was strange but that taste assaulted his tongue again, he lapped at it. He kind of liked the feel of it filling his mouth and sucked more of it, he couldn’t help but groan.

 

“Ah, _fuck_!” The man under him cried out as the vibrations ran through him, he felt fingers brush across his scalp and the heat in the room rose rapidly as he was held in place.

 

“Ahh...” Castiel slowly started to thrust into his mouth very gently, still nervous and surprised what was happening. It only took a few thrusts for Dean to start to take control again, quickly he realised what the other guy liked. He soon became comfortable with what he was doing and started to gain confidence. The sounds Cas was making were positively sinful, they made him squirm. His dick was so hard it was painful, he felt like he could come untouched listening to him. Cas seemed to have lost all his nerves and was spread out and writhing under Dean’s touch. He sounded completely wrecked.

 

Dean was drunk on him again. He teased him, it was just too tempting. He trailed one hand down his waist past his hips and moved his leg up, stroking the skin behind his knee. Cas was laying with his right leg straight still, Dean’s hand firmly on his hip but his left leg was bent to his chest. He ran his hand up and down the back of his leg and slowly but gradually cupped his ass, squeezing.

 

Cas jumped and Dean clamped his hand on his hip firmly, pushing him back into the bed again. He didn’t want to choke. He pulled his mouth away slowly and watched as Cas’ cock snapped back onto his stomach, leaving a string of spit that broke quickly. Dean shifted slightly again to look at Castiel. His chest was heaving and he was laying in pure bliss.

 

“Oh, feels so good.” He sat up without warning and grabbed Dean at the back of the neck, kissing him deep and licking into his mouth. “Wanna touch you, let me touch your cock.” Dean moaned and nodded.

 

Castiel fumbled with Dean’s pants, urgently tugging them down and wrapping his hand around him. He held him firm and jacked him hard and fast, Dean didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed that he could feel himself spiralling out of control already.

 

Their lips crashed back together and they moaned loudly, their breathing laboured and their actions out of control. Dean grabbed Cas’ dick, it was slick with spit and throbbing in his hand and he thinks Castiel might come and ohmyGodhehadjustbeen **sucking** \--

 

“Fuck, you’re so, so—“

 

“Nnnn.” Cas was pulling away from the kiss and biting at his neck, fucking himself up into Dean’s hand and sounding obscene.

 

Dean was falling forwards, his body tensing as the build up of pleasure was snapping and unravelling and he was moaning loud, his voice clashing with Cas’. The electric feeling shooting through him intensified as he realised Cas was coming and he grabbed his face, forcing them into a sloppy kiss.

 

They pulled away after a few seconds, their breathing harsh and the quiet in the room suddenly deafening.

 

“Ow ow ow.” Dean pulled back alarmed and Cas dropped his leg. “Cramp. Sorry.”  Dean collapsed forwards, narrowly missing landing on his friend, and let his face hit the pillow.

 

“You ‘kay?” he asked.

 

“Yeah.” Cas grabbed some tissue from somewhere under the bed and handed some to Dean to clean up. He wiped his stomach and his softening cock and then handed the tissue back. “Thanks,” Cas muttered sarcastically.

 

“No problem.” Dean gave him a toothy grin.

 

“Erg, I’m all sticky.” Cas shuffled out the bed and hopped over to the bathroom to clean up, as the light clicked on Dean watched him through the open door. He dropped Dean’s used tissue in the toilet and then grabbed some soap and a cloth from one of the cupboards. Dean had never paid attention to another naked guy before but he does now, Cas’ was all straight lines and subtle muscle, he looked strong and he knows that can be when he wants to. His skin always has a warm glow to it, but now his face and chest are flushed a dark pink. He is still slightly out of breath and he watches his chest rise and fall quickly. Cas seemed unaware that Dean was watching him. He wiped the wet cloth over the sticky shine on his stomach and over his sensitive member.  He looked up, right at Dean and he’s busted. He wants to deny he was staring but Cas just smiles at him kindly and blushes deeper. Dean kind of expects him to withdraw into himself, become shy but he doesn’t. He switches off the light and climbs back into bed.

 

“You were staring at me, you think I’m sexy,” Cas whispered, teasing. Dean realised that he does and now he’s blushing.

 

“I do, you’re beautiful.” He fumbled to find Cas’ hand and entwined with his own. The body that was lined up to him was warm and undeniably naked, he could feel everything as Castiel pressed against him and it was different because they’d only ever been naked in a moment of passion. Cas’ breathing is steady against him and it felt heavenly as it tickled across his shoulder. He pulled at him, wanting him closer and he felt the duvet straighten and then Cas relax.

 

He was sleepy, so tired and relaxed and the bed was so comfortable.

 

“Was that okay?” His voice was muffled by the pillow, he turned his head to repeat. “Was that okay? What we did?”

 

“Ah ha,” Cas hummed, his breathing slowing down but staying deep. “Sleep, Dean, not a girl.”

 

“Ha, no.” He didn’t know why it was funny, but briefly it was and they both laughed.

 

“Sleep,” Cas muttered again.

 

“Okay.”

 

So they did.


	13. Chapter Seven

When Dean awoke it was to the perfect shade of blue and he instantly felt calm. Then he realised he was naked in bed with his best friend and he had an internal freak out for a few seconds until Cas reached forwards and took his hand.

 

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 

This was okay.

 

He could do this. It was only Cas.

 

“Good morning.” His friend’s voice was scratchy and the sound made Dean’s mood instantly soar. He pulled him close, holding him and burying his face into his neck, needing the familiar touch and the temporary security, completely stunned at what he had done the night before. Cas held him hesitantly but after a few minutes he gripped him tighter and practically snuggled into him. “Are you okay?” Dean nodded slowly. He was more than fine, he was just stupid. Last night had been amazing. Hands down the best sex he had ever had but he felt a little embarrassed, he was sure he was just being paranoid.

 

He knew Cas had enjoyed it but it was the fact that he himself had enjoyed it so much that bothered him. He wasn’t sure if he should feel weird about it or not. Because he didn’t. He tried not to think about it knowing he was going to go in circles. Cas had been so amazing and if given another chance he would do it again without hesitating. He decided to answer honestly.  “Just happy. Do you regret anything?” He had to ask, his voice whispering into Cas’ ear.

 

“No!” Cas squeezed him tighter, he wasn’t sure whether it was deliberate or not but he was grateful. “I’m a little embarrassed...” Dean smiled, that was cute that he felt the same, it was probably a mutual shyness of exploring things together, that’s all.

 

“It’s okay, as long as I didn’t do anything wrong or- or pressure you--”

 

“-Of course not, I really liked what you did.” Dean’s stomach rumbled loudly ruining their discussion and Cas pulled away from and grinned. “Is that a hint?” Dean blushed but nodded, happy to change the subject now he knew that Cas was okay.

 

“Yessir!”

 

“...Kinky.” Dean laughed again and rolled away slightly.

 

 “Everyone thinks you are so innocent but I know otherwise.” He leapt forwards playfully and pinned him down by his shoulders, leaning on him and smiling down at him.

 

“I just think you’re a bad influence.” He stared up at him in mock innocence and Dean wanted to kiss him again but thought against it.

 

“Cheeky,” he commented, smacking him on the arm lightly and rolled off. Cas looked like he was a bit disappointed.

 

He regretted not kissing him.

 

“Come on, let’s get dressed, I’ll get us some food.” Cas reluctantly rolled out of bed and Dean followed him.

 

“I can’t find my boxers.” He held his junk rather ungracefully and peered around the room, Cas shrugged and disappeared through the other door in his room. Dean pulled on his clean clothes, leaving his tee-shirt and socks until last and then pulled the duvet off the bed in search for his missing underwear.

 

When Cas reappeared he was fully dressed and Dean was jealous to realise the other room was a walk in closet. He wanted to go be nosy but decided that would be for another day.

 

They made their way down stairs and back to the kitchen. Cas flicked the kettle on straight away and then opened the fridge, Dean sat at the breakfast bar in his usual seat.

 

“What do you normally have?” Dean shrugged uncomfortably, he would be happy with some toast, he didn’t want Cas to go out of his way.

 

“Anything, I’ll have some toast or something,” he suggested.

 

“You can’t have just toast, it’s Saturday, have something nice for breakfast. I can make French toast or bacon...?” His voice drifted off as he started looking through the cupboards.

 

“I don’t mind.”

 

“Bacon sandwich?” Cas took the bacon out so he couldn’t refuse, not like he would turn down bacon anyway.

 

“Please.” Cas was just reaching up for the frying pan and Dean guiltily enjoying watching his shirt ride up at the back when they heard the front door open. Cas’ almost dropped the pan on his head, he placed it on the shove and then ran to the door, skidding across the floor in his socks. Dean was frozen in panic, torn between hiding and acting natural. Cas closed the door as he walked out. He was gone for around thirty seconds; it felt like the longest thirty seconds of his life. He returned with a frown and two guys following him. They were both tall and older, obviously the famous Luke and Mike, they were fraternal twins, one blonde and one brunette, they both looked alike, carrying a smug auras around them.

 

Dean instantly hated them.

 

One followed Cas over to the frying pan. “Ohhhh Bacon, I didn’t know you cared.” Cas darkly stared down at the pan as if it personally had done him wrong and clicked on the gas, ignoring the man peering over his shoulder. He was obviously annoyed but added enough bacon for everyone in the room.

 

“You’re early, stop being so loud, Anna and Gabriel are sleeping,” Cas complained.

 

“As if they can hear.”

 

“Who’s your friend?”  Dean tried not to appear intimidated as the other guy sat right beside him, invading his personal space.

 

“This is Dean, his family just moved to town, he dropped by to ask if I wanted to do bible study at his house this morning.” The guy hovering by Castiel plopped down in the chair next to him and stared suspiciously. He knew Cas would never get away with that lie, he looked nothing like a bible basher.

 

“Niiiiice, about time you got some friends. I think this is the first time you’ve had someone in the house.” Dean almost let out a sigh of relief.

 

He had the sneaking suspicion that Cas was planning on burning their bacon by the way he was staring at it. He edged out of his seat, trying not to make it obvious he had moved because he was uncomfortable. He busied himself buttering some bread, happy to be away from the weirdo next to him.

 

Saying that breakfast was awkward was the understatement of the year. Dean was glad when Cas dumped their plates in the sink and declared that they needed to get right to their studies and then practically dragged him out of the house.

 

Cas drove them back to Bobby’s, he didn’t mention anything about the obvious discomfort he felt around his older brothers so he didn’t ask. Every time they had been mentioned Cas seemed to emanate a dark aura, it was obvious he hated them. He didn’t want to be pushy, he knew families were complicated so he kept his mouth zipped and pressed the skip button on the skip button on the player until Bedroom Hymns came on, hoping to make Cas smile. It did.

 

The journey was short and the streets surprisingly empty for a Saturday morning, it was only then did Dean realise it was eight-thirty in the morning. He hadn’t even noticed it was so early, what time did they even wake up this morning?

 

Cas pulled into Bobby’s drive, the truck was gone, a telltale sign that Bobby was already at work.

 

“Where’s your car, Dean?” Cas said as he switched the engine off.

 

“I’m not planning on using it all weekend, I only have a bit of gas, so it’s inside the garage.”

 

“Duh, sorry, I’m not the brightest in the morning. I could do with more coffee.” He climbed out the car and waited patiently for Dean who let them in the front door.

 

“Did you want some coffee? We don’t have that fancy stuff you have but it’s passable.” He offered, steering him into the kitchen, his hand on the small of Cas’ back. He expected him to be looking around and being nosy at the house but he didn’t and it made him feel a bit guilty that he had assumed his friend might compare their houses. After all, they lived very different lifestyles.

 

“That would be lovely, thank you, Dean.” Dean gestured for Cas to sit at the dining room table and he put the kettle on.

 

“I’m sorry about my brothers, they wasn’t supposed to be back until midday. I was hoping we would get more of a morning together before we had company.” He took a sip of coffee and licked his lips afterwards.

 

“It’s okay, we’re still hanging out. I have to say I didn’t realise it was so early.”

 

“I think they came early on purpose, they would have got up at five am this morning to get home for that time. They fuck me off.” Dean frowned, there was obviously a lot that was not being said. He nodded in what he hoped was an understanding manner.

 

Two mugs of coffee later they made a beeline to Dean’s room. “I’m so happy to get out the house, thanks for inviting me over.” He actually sighed in relief and dropped his bag on the floor looking more relaxed than he had been at his own home. He hoped their little chat and the coffee had helped. Dean shut the door behind them and slid the lock across.

 

“I don’t really know what you wanna do. I finished all my history work yesterday. We can watch TV or something, unless you want to go out? Bobby will have taken Sam to work so...” They were home alone.

 

“It’s too early to go out, we should later but I’m tempted to go back to bed, I never get to lie in.” He hinted, pulling back the quilt and taking his shoes off. Dean glanced at his watch, it was only nine-thirty.

 

“So I invite you over and you sleep?” Cas grinned and flopped back on the bed. He didn’t mind really, he was only teasing.

 

“But I’m tirrreeed,” he whined. Dean toed his shoes off and kicked them across the room. He drew the curtains and pulled his jeans off, a little less shy about it than he was last night. After all he was bullock naked this morning when he woke up and now he was in his boxers and t-shirt, anyway, his house wasn’t as warm as Cas’.

 

“I’m joking, we can go back to sleep.”

 

“You don’t mind?” Dean was already climbing into the bed, shoving Cas out of the way, glad that he had at least remembered to make it before he left. He was actually quite tired too, it had been a while since he had slept in on a Saturday. Dean face the other way , staring at the wall as got comfortable, remembering he wanted to move the bed under the window, he was sure Cas would help him later. He closed his eyes as he felt his friends’ weight dip the bed. He felt Cas hand rest on his hip and he stiffened for a moment before relaxing. He felt a kiss at the nape of his neck and he smiled, leaning back into the touch, determined to get some more sleep.

 

* * *

 

 When Dean awoke he choked back a groan and his hands gripped his pillow tight, he tried to steady his breathing as he took in his surroundings. Cas’ right hand was sweaty as it gripped his hipbone. The duvet was over their heads, it was pitch black and like a sauna under there. In the sweaty heat his hips were grinding back and forth softly, rocking against Cas’ obvious erection, the hardness pressing against his ass, sliding up and down between his cheeks. A shiver ran through him. He must have been doing this a while to have got himself worked up into this kind of state. He felt a little betrayed by his body and stilled, ignoring his erection that was so hard it had pushed through the waistband of his underwear and the head was leaking a sticky mess onto his stomach. But fuck, it felt so good. He was too hot but Cas’ breath was tickling the back of his neck and making him shiver, his blood burning and the lust he felt was overwhelming as it pumped through him.

 

He squirmed, his ass shoving back against Cas’ clothed cock once more and buried his face into his pillow as he groaned softly, pleasure twisting in his stomach. He felt like he was going to come, like he could slip over the edge at any time. The head of Cas’ dick was pressing against his entrance and he pushed a little firmer back, he knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help it. It burned slightly, he knew it would feel better bare; the material was uncomfortable pressing against him. He imaged shimming his underwear down and pulling Cas’ dick out so he could rub it’s sticky head against his hole.

 

Fuck.

 

This was wrong, so wrong.

 

Castiel was asleep. At least, he hoped he was still asleep, this was embarrassing but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. His hips moved without his permission and ground against Cas’ dick. His eyes flew open as Cas’ hand gripped his hip bone tighter and then pushed forwards, meeting his grind half way.

 

“You dirty boy.” Cas voice was like gravel in his ear, sounding shocked and amazed and still kind if sleepy. “Rubbing yourself all over my dick.” Dean groaned loudly and pushed back. His hand squeezing over Cas’ on his hip and he bit his lip hard. He didn’t know whether to feel guilty or to praise the heavens that Castiel was awake.

 

“Please don’t stop, it feels so good.” He gasped, ashamed at the admission. Cas moved his hand and stroked it over Dean’s ass cheek, slipping under the material cupping him bare, opening him up. Dean could feel Cas’ dick bump against him again, this time different and with an aim. It felt as if there was less between them, as if Cas had pulled himself out of his boxers and was pressing his naked cock against Dean’s covered hole. Fuck, fuck. If he just slipped his boxers down now he would be able to feel the swollen flesh press against him.

 

He wanted it so bad, so fucking bad.

 

He was practically sobbing in pleasure as his hips snapped back harder and they set an unforgiving pace together. Cas let go of his ass and snaked his arm around the front to play with Dean’s balls, tugging at them gently as he sucked on Dean’s neck. Dean cried out loud.

 

“You want me to touch your dick?” he whispered, biting at Dean’s earlobe and torturing the flesh between his teeth.

 

“Yeah, please, please.” He was begging, never in his life reduced to such a mess but he didn’t care. He needed to feel Cas’ hand on him, he wanted to fuck himself up into the tight circle of his friend’s fist. God, he could feel the hard line of Cas dick so clearly, it felt so hot and heavy and big pressed against him, he wondered what it would feel like fucking up into his needy hole and stretching him open.

 

Castiel was gripping his erection tight and jerking him, he was wet, he could feel the smooth glide between his friend’s fist. He was wet from precum and sweat and he thought about a different kind of wetness; thought about guiding his dick between Cas’ pretty lips, watching him suck around his long, thick length. Then the hand was gone.

 

“Why’d you- you...?” Dean was confused, dazed.

 

“Let me come on your ass?” Cas gasped, breaking Dean from his thoughts. He didn’t wait for a reply but was tugging his boxers to the side, displaying his hole, Dean shifted in the darkness, spreading his legs a little wider and let his own hand reach down to jerk himself off.

 

Something large, unbearably hot and blunt was pressing against him and he could feel his hole flutter and open slightly against the intrusion, he froze in fear, hoping Cas wouldn’t push inside and hurt him, he’d never even touched there before. He soon relaxed when he realised he was being stupid and let himself memorise and enjoy the feeling of what he had been begging for inside his mind.

 

He screwed his eyes tight, his chest hurt from breathing so rapidly and he sucked in a deep breath as it all came crashing down. He was spilling over his fist and his hips jerking back , forcing Cas that little bit harder against him and then hot come was spilling down his ass crack and coating his hole, some of it spilling inside as Cas humped against him ungracefully.

 

“Fuck, oh God,” Dean moaned, feeling it drip down from him. Cas rested against him, his breathing harsh.

  
“Where did that come from? Not like I’m complaining,” Cas whispered, his voice sounding like he needed a drink.

 

He pulled the duvet off them and the cold air hit them like ice and hurt his eyes. He blinked them open slowly and felt the burn of embarrassment on his face.

 

“I don’t know, I just... just...” Dean was catching up with the fact he had just had a cock pressed against his ass and the mess between his thighs and cheeks wasn’t helping. He shot out of bed, leaving Cas behind and ran to the bathroom needing to clean himself. He jumped into the shower, needing to get rid of the evidence, not bothering to close the bathroom door, he collapsed on the cold floor almost immediately and felt tears prickle behind his eyes.

 

“Dean, are you okay?” He looked up, Cas was standing at the door unsurely, leaning against the frame slightly, wearing just a pair of boxers. He looked so worried and it made him sob harder. “Dean?” Dean looked up again and nodded. Cas stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

 

“I didn’t mean to push you, I don’t even know how it happened, you weren’t ready for that.” He felt his friend step in beside him and sit on the floor with him under the spray. “I’m such a dick, I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry.”

 

“It’s not that,”he muttered bitterly. “Cas, I’m gay,” he choked out, burying his face into his hands, feeling so broken at the realisation. Cas took his hands and pulled them away, forcing him to look at them baby blues.

 

“You are eighteen, you don’t need to label yourself and God will love you regardless.” Dean lunged forwards and hugged him, he didn’t know why but he really needed to hear that. Cas’ perfect logic. He had sounded like he meant it, believed it so much that maybe he was right. They sat back on their heels. “But I am sorry, I think that was a bit too much, I apologise for frightening you. If you want some space from me I’ll understand.”

 

“No! That’s not what I want. I’m upset because I really liked what we did, I wanted it, I was begging for it before you even did it and as I lay there all I could think about was you fucking me.” The words came out in one heated and shouted confession and he felt devastated, waiting for what his friend would say. He knew they fooled around but he wasn’t sure it would ever go that far. The fact Dean had been thinking about it then, seemingly out of the blue had shocked him.

 

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Cas shifted uncomfortably. Great, now he had scared him off with his epic gayness. This was Dean’s worse nightmare! Hopefully they could still be friends. “I mean, when I think about it, it’s normally you fucking me if we’re going to be honest.” Dean’s mouth dropped open.

 

“You think about me fucking you?”

 

“Of course I do you idiot, you know I finger myself, what the hell did you think I think about with three fingers up my ass?” Cas flushed and folded in arms obviously embarrassed but willing to go out of his comfort zone to reassure Dean.

 

Dean gaped, stuck on the image of Cas with three fingers up his ass but then managed to move his thought process on. He knew Cas had obviously done that once, he had the photo with his lubed up fingers and the confession but he had never really thought past that. Was he actually saying that he did it often, even thought about Dean while he was doing it, imagined him fucking him? That had got to be the hottest thing he had ever heard. He tried to see the situation from Cas’ point of view; if he found it sexy that Cas thought that, did Cas think the same about Dean?

 

“So I haven’t scared you off?” He asked, timidly, sniffling.

 

“I think you startled yourself but you’ll live, you’re a big boy, now come on, I’ll buy you lunch.” Cas stood and held out his hands, Dean grabbed them gratefully and let himself be helped up. He stood awkwardly staring at Cas, waiting for him to say something else. He was lost for words. He thought he might leave but he didn’t he hugged him and kissed down the side of his face. “I won’t leave you.” He whispered and then Dean clung to him and kissed him deeply. They stayed in the shower for a long time until their skin was pruney and until Dean was laughing again.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean was a little embarrassed about his tiny melt down in the shower but Cas hadn’t bought it up once since they left the bathroom. He did flirt with him outrageously all morning though, it was harmless and playful and made his cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

 

It was a little awkward at times but it didn’t matter.

 

Like he had promised Castiel helped him unpack the rest of his bedroom and move the furniture to where he wanted. By the time Cas was finished it was immaculate and Dean stared amazed at his friend.

 

“That would have took me weeks to do.” Cas shrugged and smiled.

 

“I’m a bit of a clean freak,” he admitted. “You know, your walls are a bit bare, you should get some posters or something, you seem like a poster kind of guy, you know like the music ones you see in that stores?” Cas looked really excited and then calmed down when he realised Dean was staring at him weird. “What?”

 

“Are you sure you don’t have a poster fetish?” Dean teased, his friend shrugged.

 

“It was just an idea,” he replied, pouting slightly and staring at Dean with those wide baby blues intensely. Dean strolled forwards knowing that look by now and what it meant. He pushed him against the wall with a soft thump and snaked his hands up Cas’ jumper to hold his waist.

 

“Keep looking at me like that, I dare you,” he whispered, biting against Cas’ earlobe gently. Cas grabbed a handful of Dean’s hair and gently tugged him back to stare at him, his eyes sparkling with mischief. He pecked him on the lips and then pulled Dean closer to him.

 

They were there for quite a while.

 

* * *

 

 

At lunch time (which actually ended up being around two o’clock) they decided it was time to stop ravishing each other and to head into town, they took Cas’ car again. They went to the local mall, Dean hadn’t even been since he had moved house though not a lot had changed really. They decided to get a Subway and sat at a table outside, each scoffing on a foot long steak and cheese sub with a giant soda between them.

 

“Can we have a look around? I’ve been meaning to get a new coat for ages.” Dean remembered him complaining he lost one last week, he had wondered why he hadn’t just bought a new one.

 

“Sure. Where’d you wanna go?” Cas shrugged.

 

“I normally just wander around until I find something I like.” They finished their soda and browsed around for a bit. Dean wasn’t a huge fan of shopping, normally he hated it but he was having a really good time in Cas’ company. They did go into the music shops but Dean spent more time showing Cas his favourite CD’s than anything else. It was about half an hour later that Castiel stopped outside a shop window and peered at one of their displays. “I like that.” He tilted his head as if analysing the coat and then strode inside confidently leaving Dean stood outside like an idiot.

 

It was a fancy shop and Dean felt out of place yet again. Cas always dressed so smartly, shiny black shoes, smart jeans and a nice cashmere jumper was his choice today, it seemed like his kind of shop. A shop assistant cornered them as soon as they walked in.

 

“I want the trench coat in the window please,” Cas greeted, Dean was thankful he had got straight to the point, he didn’t want to be hanging around in here for ages.

 

“They’re predicted to be the next big thing this year,” he said as he led them over to a rail where they were hanging and handed one to Castiel who shrugged it on. He chatted away explaining things but Dean wasn’t interested. He was too busy staring at Cas, the coat wasn’t really his taste but there was something about it the really made him want Cas to buy it, it really suited him. It kind of made him look older and a little bit rugged.

 

“Looks good, man.” Cas was looking down at himself unsurely, zipping it up and then undoing it repeatedly but when he said that Cas looked up and beamed at him and then started to admire himself in the mirror a few feet away. The sight made Dean warm inside.

 

“How much?”

 

“It’s three-nine-nine.” Dean’s mouth dropped open as he stared at the man.

 

“I’ll take it.” His jaw hit the floor as he stared at Cas. He took it off and handed it to the assistant. “Remove the tags please, I would like to wear it out.”

 

They left the shop, Cas in his new coat and Dean unable to keep his eyes off him. They wandered around for a bit longer and got ice cream and some fancy caramel coffee thing that Cas bought which he actually really enjoyed.

 

At around three o’clock there time was cut short when Dean got a call from Sam complaining he was bored and asking if he could go around to Gabriel’s house. Dean looked at Cas who nodded and they stood up ready to leave. They headed back to the car.

 

“Do you mind? I feel bad going to the party tonight and leaving you to babysit.”

 

“It would be a pleasure, Dean. I’ll just be studying anyway. Sam is very well behaved, I’ll hardly notice he is there. I can collect him now and take him home with me. What do you want to do?” If he was honest Dean wanted to spend some more time with Cas but he shrugged, thinking it might be a good idea to have a little time to himself since his new revelation.

 

“I guess I should go home, I can talk to you on skype or call you something before I go to Jo’s.”

 

“What time are you going over?”

 

“She said eleven which is quite late but I’m not going to be staying for long, I just want to show my face to be honest. I might have one.” Cas nodded.

 

“Well, have a good time anyway, sorry I can’t be there.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

Cas dropped Dean home first, promising to collect Sam from the garage and that he would text him when he got back. He was oddly relieved to have some time to himself, even though he had had a brilliant day with Cas.

 

He went to his room and climbed into bed. He was so confused, his feelings were one giant conflicting mess. He had completely freaked out about what had happened with Cas today, he felt like things were moving a little fast but he wasn’t sure if he wanted it to stop. When Cas had offered to give him space earlier it had been that last thing that he had wanted. The whole situation was kind of bizarre.

 

One minute he was crying because he thought he was gay and then the next he was shoving his tongue down his best friend’s throat.

 

He buried his face into the pillow and groaned. It made things worse because it smelled like Cas, he felt like changing the sheets but he was sure he would regret it later. It was comforting but reminded him how upset he had been after he had... well, _that._ He wasn’t even sure how it had happened; he must have been having one hell of a dream to be doing that in his sleep.

 

Their thing had taken a surprising turn, he had always kind of assumed he fell into a certain role but his mind and body had obviously thought otherwise. Logically, he knew it shouldn’t matter who put what where, he hadn’t even thought it would be a possibility before but now he was thinking that _it_ might actually happen. He had thought it would never go that far, that it was a little bit too... well, gay. But now he was sure it would happen, the feeling of Cas pressing him down in the bed, rubbing against him like that. It turned his mind to mush.

 

Everything was happening so naturally, it was like an instinct he couldn’t help but follow, sometimes it even felt like he was dating Cas rather than being his best friend. He fancied Cas a lot more than any of his other ex’s and it worried him less than it should have. He didn’t want to stop what was happening between them but he didn’t want to be gay either. Why couldn’t Cas be a girl? Unfortunately it just didn’t work that way.

 

They hadn’t even spoken much about that side of things, he knew Cas must have found him attractive but was he crushing on him? He wanted to know but didn’t know how to ask. He had tried to ask last night when he had asked what they were but hadn’t had the courage to push it after Cas had said best friends. They were more than that, he could feel it. They had a deep connection and he would be really upset if they fell out. He hoped it would never come to that.

 

He stared around his room and thought how nice it looked now, he was grateful for the help. The walls were bare like Castiel had said, maybe he would get some posters once Bobby paid him.

 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, he shuffled around and pulled it out from his jeans pocket, he knew it would be Cas.

 

**Cas  
Received 15:35  
Just got Sam from Bobbys, him and Gabriel are in the study playing some game. Luke and Mike are fucking me off, they’re hogging the kitchen and have made a huge mess making alcoholic jelly. I refuse to clean it. I’m sat in my room reading, btw I found your boxers.**

 

Dean smiled.

 

 ** _Haha, thanks. I’m in bed, its boring by myself._** He typed back, thumbs hovering over the buttons, he wasn’t sure what to type. ** _Thanks for a nice day, I liked that coffee thing you bought me_**. He knew he should mention earlier but he wasn’t sure what to say. After all he had made Cas feel like he had forced him to do something when in fact he hadn’t at all. He hoped he wasn’t beating himself up about it. ** _I’m sorry for earlier, it wasn’t you, I’m just having a crisis._** He hit send and ****rested his phone on his chest. He hoped he had phrased it okay, he was glad he could talk to Cas honestly, even if he didn’t have the confidence to say it to his face all the time, he knew he could text or call him.

 

**Cas  
Received 15:45  
I hope you are okay, I thought you seemed okay after we talked about it through, I mean you kissed me. If you’ve changed your mind about what you said it’s okay, like I said I can give you some space while you sort your head out if you want. X**

 

He typed back quickly.

 

**_Thats not what i meant at all, I’m happy with what we have. Just what happened scared me a bit but only because I really liked it. Sorry for freaking you out. You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want.X_ **

 

**Cas  
Received 15:50  
Okay, as long as you are sure. I liked it too but I’m sure that was obvious! Anyway, I really do have to study for church tomorrow, I’ll be on skype with Balthazar if you want me. Have a good night X**

 

Dean sighed and pulled himself out the bed, deciding to stop moping and go and fiddle around on the internet himself, it would waste a few hours.

 


	14. Chapter Eight - Part One

When Bobby came back at half past six he cooked Dean dinner, it was nice to spend some time with him as he hadn’t seen him in a few days. He asked where Sam was and he told him he was staying at Castiel's place. Bobby didn’t mind he thought Cas was a good kid. He told him about Jo’s party that night and said he would be going but wasn’t sure what time he would be back. His uncle didn’t mind as long as he behaved.

 

They watched junk on TV for a few hours and Bobby offered him a beer but he turned it down, he had decided he wasn’t going to drink at the party so he was driving. He was sure it was a test because Bobby smiled and said, “Good.”

 

He started to get ready around nine-thirty; he had a shave and pulled on some different clothes, getting distracted as he texted Cas a few times, Dean's friend was bored out of his mind. He wondered what he used to do before they became friends. He lost track of time and they ended up on the phone chatting about nonsense but neither mentioned what had happened earlier or their talk about Dean’s feelings. It was good to have his friend back for a few hours with none of the complicated feelings attached.

 

He left around eleven-thirty and drove slowly, he knew the general direction of where he was going and it soon became obvious because the music could be heard at the end of the street. He pulled into the car park but parked on the outskirts, hesitant to have drunken students too close to his baby.

 

When he walked into the bar it was clear that when Jo said everyone was coming, she really had meant everybody. The place was packed. Jo sat behind the bar laughing with Bella and Anna and a few girls Dean didn’t recognise, she was pulling pints when she noticed him.

 

“Dean!” Jo jumped up when she saw him and bounced on the spot excited. “You came!”

 

He leant against the bar and winked at her. “Told you I was coming.”

 

“Do you want a drink? Pick your poison!” she yelled, voice carrying over the music.

  
“I’ll have a scotch?” he asked, handing her the ten dollars she had mentioned yesterday, she shoved it in her pocket.

 

“Thanks, you’re good for the night, don’t give out any more money if anyone asks!” He nodded and took the tumbler she handed him. “Come over!”

 

He looked for the entrance to the bar but she just moved out the way and beckoned him over. “Just climb up!” He jumped up and twisted over, dropping to the floor. “This is Bella, Anna, Becky, Naomi and Lilith.” He waved and raised his glass at them, taking a sip. Becky grabbed a bottle of southern comfort and poured him a drink, handing it to him.

 

“Drink!” He held up his hands.

 

“Just having the one, ladies," he explained. “Thanks anyway.”

 

“Come on, Dean! It’s a party, relax!” Jo clung onto him, grabbing his arm and hugging it. He shuffled away a little but she held on, smiling up at him. He knew she was only being friendly but he didn’t want to give the impression he was interested in that kind of fun tonight because that was the last thing on his mind.

 

“Yeah, Dean! Can’t refuse a drink from a lady.” He sighed deeply and realised they wouldn’t let him off. He downed his scotch and then took the drink from Becky, clinking their glasses together. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few, as long as he didn’t drink anymore after this.

 

Three drinks later we was being dragged from behind the bar and over to a pool table, a cue being pushed into his hand. He happily played a few games and didn’t notice the girls topping up his glass when he wasn’t looking, he steadily got tipsy and lightened up a bit. He stopped looking at the clock and started having fun.

 

After winning a few games and some shots later he was dragged over to a seating area, people were spinning a whiskey bottle on the floor and cheering as two girls made out on the sofa. He did not want to play spin the bottle. It turned out it wasn’t spin the bottle but truth or dare, which he didn’t mind playing.

 

“We found playing it with the bottle was better, a lot better to leave it to chance than to drunken teenage bitches.” Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“Why do I feel like there’s a story behind this?”

 

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” she replied, then stared pointed at Lilith.

 

He sat on the arm of Jo’s chair, she was squeezed against some guy Dean didn’t know but he thought his name was Kevin and laughed along as everyone did ridiculous things, including one guy being given a swirly, he cringed and decided if it came to him he would wimp out and chose truth. He didn’t know these people and wasn’t sure what they would get him to do.

 

When the bottle landed on him everyone booed when he chose truth and started chanting “Dare, dare, dare!” He laughed it off and stuck to his guns and shook his head ‘no’.

 

“So, Winchester, you got a girl?” He flushed and nodded, the alcohol going to his head. Jo gasped and pushed him off the chair.

 

“Sorry, I’m taken, ladies.” They all booed again. He didn’t feel bad lying, he was kind of taken, he wasn’t interested in anyone but Cas. He wasn’t going to be a dick and say no, then it would seem like he was open for offers which he wasn’t.

 

“What’s her name?” Anna yelled.

 

“One truth at a time! Should have phrased it better!” he replied cheekily.

 

He would feel awful if he did anything with anyone else. It landed on him a few times, the girls asking him about his ‘girlfriend’ .“Is she pretty?” and “How long have you been together?” but he kept it vague. He stayed for a few more rounds but everyone was getting rowdy and he thought about heading home. He was having fun but he had already drank too much and realised he couldn’t drive.

 

He thought about calling Bobby. He looked at the time, it was gone one o’clock so that was a no-go. It wasn’t too far to his house, he decided he would walk. He needed a piss first though.

 

“Where’s the toilet?” he asked Jo, speaking loudly into her ear. She pointed at the stairs and he nodded in thanks. He stumbled up the stairs realising that it was definitely time to go home, he had drank way too much in such a short amount of time. He was sure he would feel better once he had a piss. Surprisingly there wasn’t a queue for the men’s, he opened the door and came face to face with a couple making out against the wall. He was sure the woman was Ruby, he cringed.

 

Lovely.

 

He relieved himself in the toilet (taking extra care to aim) as the urinals were all being used. He went to make his way out of the toilet and was thinking about texting Cas, he wanted to tell him how much fun the party had been and how lovely he was (Cas was so nice), when he noticed who it was that Ruby had pressed against the wall.

 

“What the fuck!” Dean shouted, angrily ripping Ruby away from Sam. “He’s fourteen, you pervert!” Ruby stared at Sam in disgust and backed off. What the hell was he doing here?

 

“What the hell? Freak! You said you went to college!” she hissed and pushed past Dean, she ran out the room embarrassed. Dean turned to Sam, furious.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?!” he scolded.

 

Sam was leaning precariously against the wall, obviously heavily intoxicated, a grin across his face. He looked happy for a second, lost in a daze before he realised his brother was yelling at him. He stared at Dean, the happy look dropping off his face as he realised he had been caught. In fact, he looked a bit green.

 

“Is Gabriel here too?!” Dean yelled.

 

“I feel sick,” Sam mumbled in reply, before slumping forwards.

 

Dean groaned in frustration, he was so screwed. Bobby was going to kill them! He would never let him look after Sam again after this! What the hell had Sam been thinking? How had he even travelled all the way up to the bar? It was on the other side of the town to Cas' house. He had clearly had some help, Gabriel was such a trouble maker.

 

Dean grabbed Sam, attempting to hold him up and half carry him out the room. God, the kid was heavy! He struggled and the room was starting to spin a little with the extra strain, he regretted drinking so much. He had thought he had only had a few, but it had gone straight to his head.

 

He pushed through the crowd, scanning for Gabriel; he knew it was hopeless, it was so packed and the Sam's friend was so small he would never see him through the crowd. They finally made it to the front door, Dean almost dragging Sam until they were both outside, once there he let him drop to the floor. The boy winced but didn’t get back up. Dean was out of breath and now he felt sick, the spirits threatening to come back up but he pushed his feelings aside to get some answers from Sam.

 

“How did you get here? I thought you were at Cas’ house?” he spat at him, pulling his phone out and ready to give his friend a mouthful. He was shaking in anger and took some deep breaths to try and calm down. It wasn’t working. The phona rang for a long time, Dean half listened to the dialling tone while he yelled at Sam. “I asked you a question!”

 

“I came with Gabe! Mike and Luke bought us! They said it was okay!” He was starting to get upset, looking up at Dean like he didn’t understand why he was being yelled at.

 

“Milton? You let those douche bags drive you here? How were you planning to get home?! Sam, it is not fine, you know that this isn’t okay!” He knew that Sam wasn’t a baby but he couldn’t be at parties like this, yes, he looked old enough but he wasn’t. He wasn’t mentally prepared for these things. He was sure he would be traumatised in the morning once he remembered what he had done with Ruby, in the bathroom of a bar of all places.

 

“--Hello?” Dean had actually forgotten that he was on the phone. He had left it to ring out until Cas answered as he didn’t have an answer phone.

 

“Hello to you too,” he snarled at the voice in his ear. “Have you lost something?!” He walked away from Sam and towards where he had parked his car. He wasn’t too far away and could still see him sat on the floor. He leant against the hood, knowing he was in no fit state to drive and feeling shit because of it.

 

“...What?” Cas sounded groggy and confused, Dean knew he had woke him up but he didn’t care.

 

“Fucking Gabriel and Sam are at this party,” he blurted out, there was no point sugar-coating it and he was seething.

 

“What?” He could hear some thumping around and the phone moving, as if it had been dropped and picked it up again. It crackled for a second and then cleared.

 

“Your dick brothers bought them here and Sam is off his head! I need you to come and get us right now! I can’t drive, I’m drunk!”

 

“Fucking crap,” Cas cursed. “I’m on my way!” Dean hung up annoyed and resisted throwing his phone, he knew he should be taking it out on Castiel but it was his responsibility to look after Sam. Dean slid off the car and went to join his brother who was lying on the floor and pointing up at the sky.

 

“We are so small... And the sky is so big.” He turned to Dean seriously.

 

“You are a seriously weird drunk,” he muttered. He sat and waited for Cas and tried not to get annoyed or worked up about it but the longer he waited the more it made his blood boil.

 

When Cas arrived he couldn’t have missed him, he was speeding and slammed the car to a halt outside, drawing a bit of attention to himself. There were people sat outside on the benches and at the tables, obviously bringing their games into the only space available. Their chatter died down when they saw furious Castiel Novak, donned in his pyjamas and a pair of boots, slam his car shut and storm over to Dean.

 

Dean started screaming at him and jumped to his feet, meeting him halfway.

 

“I let Sam stay with you because I trusted you! Does he look taken care of, huh?!” His voice carried far, echoing into the street as he pointed accusingly at Cas and then at Sam. A few people exchanged confused glances and came to watch the commotion.

 

“No, Dean! I’m sorry!” he defended, his voice sharp. “I was asleep and then you were calling me saying they were gone!” His hair was sticking up worse than usual and Dean knew he was telling the truth but it didn’t make him feel any better.

 

“I don’t care! Tell your brothers to stay away from Sam, Ruby just molested him in the bathroom! This is serious!” Castiel looked like he wanted to cry in frustration, Dean felt the same. “He’s my baby brother man, my whole world and you let them dicks get him drunk! I swear to God! I am going to kill them idiots! You go in there and you fix this! If I have to look at them I will break their faces!”

 

“My brother’s here too! Just calm down, we won’t fix anything screaming at each other! Come on, put Sam in my car, where’s Gabriel?” Cas marched over to Sam and hauled him up from under his arm and wrapped an arm around his back.

 

“Inside, I couldn’t find him.” Dean opened the backdoor to Cas’ car, the engine was still running and he climbed in the front to take the keys. “Don’t move!” he sneered at his brother who was lying in the back and groaning. “If you’re sick in this car I will murder you,” he threatened.  He slammed the door, clicking the lock.

 

Cas came to his side and Dean shoved the keys back at him a little more forceful than necessary. Cas didn’t call him on it but started to apologise.

 

“I’m so sorry this happened, I feel like fucking punching Luke, I knew he was up to something!” He was frowning and looked devastated, his face red with anger. Seeing that Cas was upset too actually calmed him a little, he would have felt worse if he had shrugged it off.  Cas stormed through the crowd and immediately climbed onto the nearest table to see into the room. Dean held his hands out afraid he would fall.

 

“Hey!” One of the nameless cheerleaders complained as he kicked their drinks over and into their laps.

 

“Shut it, Barbie,” Dean shot at her and she frowned.

 

“He’s at the bar!” Cas yelled and Dean helped him jump down. They cut through the crowd and to the bar where Gabe was sat on the wooden bar by the beer taps; Luke was pushing a shot glass towards his mouth, the liquid spilling down Gabriel’s shirt, Luke was laughing with a group of guys as he made his brother struggle.

 

“I don’t want anymore,” he complained weakly. Dean was at his side like a flash and pushing the glass away. He pushed Luke out the way and grabbed Gabe, pulling in into an embrace.

 

“Come here,” he spoke softly and picked him up from the bar, the kid immediately fell into his arms.

 

“I want to go home,” he whined, groaning into Dean’s shoulder.

 

“You fucking bastard!” Dean turned around in shock at the sound of Cas, he had never heard him sound so furious. Within seconds Cas was leaping forwards and Luke was flying backwards. It took him a few seconds to realise that Cas had just punched his brother square in the face and completely floored him. The crowd separated and a low murmur ran through it, they stepped away from the family, giving them some space. Jo had caught wind of the situation and turned the music off.

 

“Stop fighting!” she screamed, trying to climb onto the bar to cut through the crowd, everyone was pushing her down as they tried to be nosy. “Stop it!”

 

“Congratulations idiot,” Cas sneered. “You got two fourteen year olds drunk! I hope you’re proud of yourself,” he spat sarcastically. Nobody tried to help Luke back up, they hovered in a circle unsure how to react. Jo finally climbed up and walked across the surface of the bar to get past everyone.

 

“What’s going on?!” she demanded, jumping down. She looked at Luke on the floor and Dean holding Gabriel and then finally to Cas who was clenching his fists and looking dangerous for someone who was wearing baby blue pyjamas. She was obviously putting the pieces together and didn’t look happy.

 

“What the hell are you playing at Castiel?!” Michael appeared at the edge of the crowd and then ran to Luke.

 

“You!” Jo screeched, pointing at Mike. “Did you bring kids in my bar?!” Everyone was ignoring her and Dean thought she looked like she was going to explode.

 

“You got Sam and Gabriel drunk! They were my responsibility and you kidnapped them to bring them here! Why would you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Cas’ voice was strained and Dean thought he might punch him too, he knew he deserved it. Michael just laughed.

 

“It was just a joke.” Nobody was laughing, everyone stepped back a little further. Dean saw red, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was holding Gabriel then he would have done something stupid.

 

“Out my bar!” Jo stomped forwards and yelled into Mike’s face. “Take your brother and get out!” He frowned and pulled a face.

 

“You’re lucky I don’t kick your face in pal. You got my brother drunk, he isn’t your family to be fucking around with! You shouldn’t be such a dick to your brother anyway. What the hell is wrong with you,” Dean growled, holding Gabe closer to him, so very upset that someone as small as Gabe was now going to be ill because of them. It was a bit deceiving to see Sam drunk because he looked like an adult, Gabriel didn’t and it was all wrong.

 

“Well, it hardly matters, Gabriel’s not really family.” A resounding gasp ran through the room. It was a low blow and Cas grabbed his sleeve and tugged, his face was stony and he gulped thickly. Dean tried to stay calm; he wanted to hit Mike after what he just said but he respected that Castiel just wanted to go home now. The other man looked defeated.

 

“Just get out. You’re barred.” Jo spat and folded her arms annoyed.

 

“Come on, let’s get the boy’s home,” Cas spoke solemnly. “Sorry for ruining your party, Jo.” She looked upset and turned to them, her eyes full of tears.

 

“Castiel, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know Gabriel was here, I never would have let him in! And Dean, I didn’t know you had a brother.” Dean shook his head in disappointment and let himself be lead out. Everyone parted and let them through, the atmosphere ruined. They walked to the car in silence and Dean placed Gabriel in the back carefully, as Castiel helped Sam sit up. They strapped them in and then climbed in the front. Dean stared at the boys in the front mirror, Sam’s cheeks were flushed an unhealthy amount and Gabriel was asleep.

 

“You okay there Sam?”

 

Sam raised his hand shakily and gave him thumbs up.

 

“I kissed a girl today... it was awesome.” A goofy smile spread across his face. He turned to Gabe and whispered loudly, “I even touched her boob,” unaware that his friend was passed out. Dean tried not to smile.

 

“Idiot.” Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“I think you should stay at mine.” Cas posture was closed off and his voice stiff, he was obviously very upset. “Unless you want to get in trouble with your uncle, I image Bobby will not be thrilled.”

 

“I think I can cover for him this time, his hangover might be punishment enough.”

 

Cas nodded and kept his eyes on the road.“I understand if you are angry with me, you are right, I’ve let you down,” he whispered, angrily swiping at his face. Dean realised he was crying.

 

“No, Cas.” He turned to face him. “I’m not angry at you, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t watch them constantly.” He hadn’t meant to make him cry. “I over reacted, I’ma bit drunk so don’t listen to me I’m being stupid.”

 

“I’m just furious at those idiots,” he muttered, his eyes fixed on the road.

 

They drove in silence and Dean let the sway of the car start to calm him, he stared at the clock on the dashboard, it was just after two AM.

 

“I can’t believe you decked that ass.” Dean grinned. “Good for you, man, sticking up for your brother like that, takes guts.”

 

“I don’t even know how that happened, I was just so angry. I shouldn’t have resulted to violence.”

 

“Cas, he was force feeding Gabe vodka shots.” Cas shifted uncomfortable and wiped his face again, sniffling.

 

“Let’s just go to bed. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Dean took it that the discussion was finished and went silent. His eyes fixed on mirror, watching the boys in the back.

 

 


	15. Chapter Eight - Part Two

When Dean woke up it was to a thumping head and a dry mouth, he sat up confused as he took in his surroundings, he was in Cas’ room. He groaned in pain and rolled over to snuggle up to the larger body next to him. Wait... What? His eyes flew open and he backed away to the other side of the bed. Why was he in bed with Sam? Well, that could have been awkward.

 

He glanced to the bathroom, through the open door but it was empty. He noticed a glass on the bedside cabinet and gratefully gulped down the water, taking the two tylenol on the side as well. Cas was such a life saver. He lay back down, still too tired to move. He didn’t know what time it was but he was assuming it was early, that Cas was at church.

 

He noticed his jeans on the floor and hung out of the bed to grab them, his phone was flashing.

 

**Cas**   
**Received 09:45**   
**Morning! I have taken Gabriel to church with me, we will be back at 12ish. Make yourself at home, its just you and Sam. See you soon x**

He didn’t bother to text back, he put his phone on the bedside cabinet and went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

When he finally dragged himself out of bed he gave Sam a kick on the way out to make himself feel better.

 

“Ouch, you dick.” Came Sam’s muffled voice. He was laying face down, his face buried in a pillow. “I think I’m dying....” He complained and then put the pillow on top of his head to block out the sound.

 

“No, you’re hung over, it’s completely different.” He snapped, he was still annoyed with his brother. Yes it had been Luke and Mike that had took him to the party but Sam should have been responsible enough to say no, he had a tongue in his mouth after all.

 

“You don’t have to be such a jerk.” Dean stood at the bottom on the bed and smiled evilly as he pulled the cover off him.

 

“No, up! You snuck out and scared the hell out of me and Cas and he was still nice enough to cover for you and let you sleep in his bed.” He sat up annoyed and glared at Dean.

 

“What about you? I saw you! You were drinking!” He argued.

 

“Bobby knew where I was! And I told him I drinking.” That wasn’t exactly true, he had told Bobby he was only going to have one but he wasn’t going to admit that to a bratty fourteen year old.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yes, ‘oh’, now am I going to get an apology or what? I should kick your ass for what you did and I want you to apologise to Cas as well when he gets back.”

 

“Do I have to?”

 

Dean might just kick his ass anyway.

 

“Yes! Be grateful you aren’t in Gabriel’s shoes right now, Cas made him go to church! Pull this shit again and I’ll be making you go as well! Now get out of bed!” He marched over to the curtains and pulled them open in gleeful spite. “Now I’m going for a shower, just don’t puke.”

 

He walked into the bathroom and grabbed his clothes off the floor, he locked the door behind him, clicking the light on. He pulled his boxers off, he didn’t even remember getting undressed last night. Actually, he couldn’t really remember a lot of what had happened after Cas had drove them home. He climbed into the shower and turned it on, it was quite warm and he turned it down a little, remembering to only move the dial a little bit. He knew from experience the steam would make him feel worse. He stood under the spray thinking, the details were quite fuzzy. The last thing he remembered was pushing Cas against a door, pinning his hands above his head and whispering into his ear. _“God, angel, you’re so beautiful, let me take care of you, I’ll be so good to you.”_ How corny, he hoped Cas pegged it down to him being drunk. He had more important things to worry about anyway, like the fact he was going kill Sam. He got out the shower and redressed, making sure he hadn’t made a mess again. Cas’ house was always immaculate, he would feel rude making any kind of mess.

 

When he came out the bathroom Sam was laying on his back on the bed, he looked awful. Dean managed to make him get dressed and drag him downstairs by some miracle. He sat him at the breakfast bar and gave him a strong coffee and made him a bacon sandwich. He pushed them both away.

 

“I can’t eat, I’ll be sick.” He whined, leaning his head on the table pathetically. Dean looked up as he heard the front door and froze in panic in a weird sense of de ja vu. Cas strolled in a few seconds later, dropped a book bag on the floor and jumped into the chair next to Dean.

 

“Hey! How’s the head Sam?” He asked, stealing his coffee and taking a sip, he rested his hand on Dean’s knee, squeezing it slightly, unseen to Sam. Dean fought down a smile but ended up smiling at the table at he looked down. Sam groaned in response and looked up at Cas.

 

“Can I go and see Gabe?” He asked. Dean wanted to kick him, the ungrateful little dick.

 

“Don’t you have something to say?” He said, making it clear it was not negotiable.

 

“I’m sorry we got drunk and went to Jo’s party without your permission and without telling you.” He sounded like he was reeling it off a script and Cas stared at him expectantly.

 

“And?” Dean prompted, glancing at Cas and trying to guess what he wanted to hear.

 

“For stealing your bed all night when you didn’t have to give it up?”

 

“And?” He repeated, when Cas expression hadn’t shifted.

 

“For betraying your trust and leaving and for ruining your night... And thank you for covering for me.” Cas nodded.

 

“Go on, he’s in the lounge.” He said, it was an obvious dismissal and Sam slid off the chair and left looking like he was feeling sorry for himself.

 

“So, how are we going to punish them? They do owe us big time.” Dean nodded and grabbed half of the bacon sandwich, pushing the other half the Cas. He shrugged in response and grabbed it, taking his hand off Dean.

 

“I’m too annoyed about it still to think clearly, they can owe us.” He replied, taking a bite. Dean watched him eat his half, it was then he noticed a mark on his friend’s neck, resting on the collar line. _“Come to bed, I just want to hold you.”_  He blinked and then flushed as he remembered. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.” Dean followed him out the room, glad he had tidied up after Sam. He was trying to remember what had happened after getting home last night still. Cas pushed open the door and sat on the bottom of his bed, Dean sat next to him, sure to put a bit of space between the two of them. He couldn’t stop looking at that mark.

 

“So erm, I didn’t do anything weird while I was drunk last night, did I? Things are a bit hazy.” He admitted, Cas tugged on his collar to cover up the bite he obviously knew was there.

 

“Apart from the love bite you mean?” He laughed.

 

“Sorry about that.” Cas smiled at him, his eyes dancing, he was glad he wasn’t annoyed about it. They had an unspoken rule not to leave any marks, or at least they had until Dean had drunkenly fumbled all over Cas.

 

“It’s okay, I guess I’ll be avoiding my parents more than usual though, that could be a little difficult to explain.”

 

“I’m sure they would be really confused about innocent little you.”

 

“Exactly.” He flashed him a grin. “Though, I never would have guessed _that_ about you, Dean Winchester: The Great Romantic.” Dean blushed and nudged him playfully.

 

“Shuddup.” He smiled.

 

“You were very sweet, you know, if I was a girl!” He joked, teasing him.

 

“Hey, those moves are Cas Novak exclusives, not everyone gets that treatment you know.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind, shall I?” Dean loved the playful banter between them, how easily the words fell from their lips and how light-hearted it was.

 

“So what happened after we got back? I remember putting Gabriel to bed and then Sam into your room and then it’s blank after that.” He confessed, deciding to keep out that he remembered a bit of a make out session.

 

“We decided to lock the door from the inside so those twats couldn’t come back. Anna had texted saying she was staying at Jo’s, the boys were passed out but you didn’t want to go to sleep.” He explained.

 

“Oh, err,” Dean cleared his throat, the memories of him grinding against Cas coming back to him. “Did we... do anything else?”

 

“You kissed me against the living room door, told me I was beautiful.” Dean rolled his eyes, he never could control his tongue when he was drunk. Cas was smiling fondly as retold what had happened.

 

“So we didn’t...?” He gestured between the two of them and let the action ask the rest of the question.

  
“Dean, you wanted to and I kind of did too but you were so drunk that I doubt you could get it up anyway. We kissed on the couch for a bit, you gave me the hickey and convinced me to let you sleep with me in the spare room but you started to fall asleep while we were making out. You were snoring so I carried your fat ass upstairs to Sam.”

 

“Hey, I’m not fat.” He argued.

 

“I guess we should go and get your car?” Cas asked, Dean nodded. He guessed it was the sensible thing to do instead of sitting here and flirting with Cas. He needed to get Sam home and into bed and come up with some reason to explain his foul mood. Better to get it over and done with.

 

* * *

 

 

As they drove into The  Road House, Dean pointed over to the trees at the far end of Ellen’s car park. “My cars at the edge by the trees.” He watched outside the window as Cas nodded and turned into the entrance. There were little cars parked around in random dots so he was assuming they were either closed or the bar was empty.

 

“Dean, there’s no cars there, are you sure that’s where you parked it?” Cas pulled to a stop and put the handbrake on, twisting in his seat to look around.

 

“NO!” Dean screamed in frustration at the empty spaces. He wasn’t that drunk, he _knew_ he had parked there! He got out of the car when he resisted hitting the dashboard, he didn’t want to damage it, it wasn’t his car to be hitting, his car was fucking _missing._ He ran to the empty space, his hands tugging at his hair in frustration. He kept hoping it would suddenly appear and he started to doubt where he had parked it last night. Bobby was going to kill him. Cas was at his side in a few seconds and looking around, starting to look like he was panicking too.

 

“It was right here, here!” He pointed at the ground and then kicked the wall in frustration. He felt Cas’ hand curl into his elbow, it was quite comforting and he lay his own hand over it for a second.

 

“Calm down.” Cas replied, worrying at his lip and still looking around. “Are you sure it was parked here?”

 

“Yeah, I- I made a point of remembering, I didn’t want drunken people around her.” Cas guided him to walk around the wall to follow it around. The wandered around the parameter and found it at the back of the building. It wasn’t in the condition he had left it in; thick lines were gouged into the surface leaving silvers trails across the sides. The car was facing them and he assessed the damage in his head, it wasn’t too bad, he cringed as he walked around the back expecting the worse. He didn’t even want to look. He grabbed Cas’ sleeve as he sneaked around, pulling him along. He gulped thickly as he took in the sight, letters had been angrily scratched onto the surface of the trunk, shining predominantly against the black paint of the car. The humiliation of what it said suffocated him and he felt Castiel tense to the side of him.

 

“I swear, I never told a soul.” He promised, looking at Dean with wide eyes, he looked like he was going to cry again and he couldn’t bear to look at him when he was like that, it made his chest ache. He took a deep breath to calm down and try and numb the sick and nervous feeling in his stomach. He believed him, he somehow knew Cas would never do that to him, he trusted him.

 

“I know, just...” He sighed, it was inevitable, Bobby was going to have to see it, he needed to take it to the garage. “Will you come with me to fix it? I don’t think I can face Bobby on my own with, well... that, written on my car.” Castiel nodded, staring at the ground. “This is my worst nightmare, he’s going to know.” He covered his eyes with his hand, the seriousness of the situation weighing down on him and making him feel tired.

 

“He loves you , it doesn’t matter and you can always deny it! There’s no proof. They only wrote it to be cruel. They can’t possibly know because I haven’t told anyone and we’ve never been caught and you- you never said anything, right?” He shook his head no, he had kept it a secret, something private between him and his best friend.  “Then you don’t have anything to worry about, it’s just a mean insult, I’m sure you’ve said it yourself at times.” He shrugged. He didn’t want to face any of this but he was going to have to, he might as well get it out of the way. “Are you angry?” Cas whispered, looking guiltily at the car.

 

“I’m furious but I’m fucking humiliated, I just want to get rid of it before someone sees.”  Cas nodded solemnly.

 

“I’m so sorry, I know this must have been my brothers.”

 

“I know who it was but it’s not your fault, there’s no point you getting upset over it.” Dean was really annoyed but he knew it wasn’t Cas’ fault. You can’t pick family after all, he knew that far too well. He was just dreading Bobby’s reaction. “Come on, let’s just go.” He took one last look at the trunk and then climbed inside, forcing himself to start the car. Cas stared at him through the window for a few seconds, hesitating before climbing in. Dean drove him to his own car and dropped him there, he sat still, he looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t, he just got out and walked over to his own car, ready to follow Dean.

 

He had wanted to say so many things to Cas, not to worry and that it wasn’t his fault and that he didn’t blame him. He had wanted to try and laugh it off but the wound was still fresh and it was too soon. Just yesterday he had been crying because of his revelation and Cas had been there to pick up the pieces. Now he was afraid he would leave if Bobby realised how true those words were, that he might tell them off for what they had done. Even though he wasn’t completely at peace with that he was doing with Cas, he didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t want to stop.

 

They arrived at the garage land far too soon for Dean’s liking, he drove up the dirt trail slowly and he found himself pulling into the only open warehouse. It was just Bobby’s truck outside like he knew it would be, they only really needed one member of staff on a Sunday afternoon, but he was still grateful that Rufus hadn’t dropped in like he sometimes did. He was embarrassed enough. He stepped out the car and waited for Cas, he had parked outside and was striding up quickly, taking big steps to get to Dean.

 

Dean daringly reached out and squeezed Cas’ hand just the once and then dropped it before he knocked on the office. Bobby swung open the door and smiled when he saw them. “I didn’t know you boy’s were dropping by today! What a lovely surprise! Come to teach Castiel here some more?” There was a thousand things running through his head, trying to think how he could possibly explain what had happened but his mouth didn’t seem to be working. Dean’s smile was forced and Bobby saw straight through it. He turned and looked at his car which was just a small way behind them. Ashamed. Bobby stepped out the office, a frown on his face and pushed past them.

 

“Who keyed the car?” He turned to look at them. He hadn’t noticed the trunk yet and Dean stared guiltily at the floor. He dare not meet his eye.

 

“We think it was my older brothers, I can pay for the damage, I’m so sorry Mr. Singer, I promise I’ll help Dean fix it.” Bobby was nodding when Dean looked up and then started walking around the car, poking at the scratches. He stood up straight and stared disgusted at the trunk. Cas was fiddling with his blazer nervously and Dean felt his stomach lurch, he was sure he was going to be sick. “Like I said, I know the damage is bad, I can pay, I have my bank card with me, I can-“ He trailed off unsurely and glanced at Dean. Bobby was looking between the two of them and then sighed deeply. He stepped towards them and then into the office, avoiding looking at them.

 

Oh, no. What did that even mean?

 

“Let’s just get this off, Dean, why don’t you show Cas how to fix this?” He asked. He didn’t sound angry or even look particularly mad so he supposed that was a good sign.

 

“Yes sir.” He answered, he glanced and Cas and gave him a small smile before he went to the store cupboard. He reached up for what he needed and grabbed a trolley to put it all on. As he started to sign it out, he could hear Cas’ distinctive voice through the open door, he stopped what he was doing and stood still to listen.

 

“-to pay now or do you want to invoice me?” He was saying, Dean strained to hear what Bobby said but there was just too much distance with him being inside the office and Cas outside. “I know, I’m really sorry.” He said again. He grabbed the spray paint and dawdled around for a few more moments, trying to eavesdrop. “It doesn’t matter, Dean’s car still got graphitised, they’re childish and what they did was wrong.” Bobby was talking again. “Thank you Mr. Singer, that – it means a lot. Can you...? Please don’t tell my parents.” Dean felt bad for him, he was lucky really that Bobby was so nice, even if he did react badly it would be nowhere near as bad as what would happen to Cas if the situation was reversed. He stepped out bringing the trolley with him and making his presence known.

 

“Got it! Come on, Cas, lesson number two!” He grinned, putting on a big fake smile that didn’t reflect his feelings at all. Inside he felt like crap. Maybe if he smiled long enough he would forget he was pretending and he might start to feel a bit better.

 

* * *

 

 

It took well over two hours to fix, they spent at least an hour and a half sorting the trunk but the rest was not half as bad to cover. Bobby looked it over afterwards and reassured them it looked as good as new, he praised Cas on a job well done. Bobby invited them in the office and gave them each a soda, Dean was just opening his when Cas’ phone rang. It as Gabriel saying he was being sick, Dean heard the words so Bobby must have too because he looked concerned. Castiel quickly agreed to come home and hung up, he looked apologetically at Dean and Bobby.

 

“I have to go, my brothers sick, I think him and Sam might have ate that left over food I told them not to last night. Hopefully Sam will be okay.” He turned to look at Dean and he was surprised how easily the lie had fallen from his friends lips.

 

“Do you want me to come and get Sam?” He asked, knowing full well that Sam was half passed out on the sofa with Gabriel.

 

“Please, I think it would be best.” He nodded. He turned to Bobby. “Thanks for everything Mr. Singer, for the soda and ... well, everything.” He smiled at him. Bobby reached out and patted his shoulder.

 

“Anytime kid.” He grinned. “Now go on Dean, go get Sam before he starts puking in their house too. Actaully one sec, you go ahead Cas.” Cas smiled and disappeared leaving just the two of them.

 

Awkward...

 

“So why did they key your car? I’m not missing anything important am I? You haven’t pissed them off with something?”

 

“No, I...” He decided to try and be honest as possible. “I got drunk at that party last night, I didn’t want to call you so I got Cas to come and pick me up and left the car at The Roadhouse. He ran into Luke and they argued, Cas ended up flooring him, I would have killed him if it was me, he was so out of order to Cas, it was wrong. Anyway, we think it’s because I stood up for him too and then Cas locked them out the house so I could stay and not wake you up stumbling in drunk.” Bobby looked surprised.

 

“Castiel beat up his brother? I didn’t think he was that type, always thought it was a quiet boy.”

 

“Yeah he’s quiet, he didn’t beat him up though, he punched him once, he was out cold after that. He’s a lot stronger than he looks. He felt really bad about it but now I wish he had hit the other dick too after what they did to my car.”

 

“Not enough in my eyes, if it was you boys who had done that to someone’s car I would kill ya.” Bobby threatened. Dean held his hands up in mock surrender and they laughed. “Castiel, he seems like a nice... friend?” Bobby told him, it sounded more like he was asking him though and it clicked a second later and Dean blushed.

 

“Er,” He stumbled over his words. “Yeah, he’s a good mate.” His face was burning.

 

 “And you two get on?”

 

“Obviously.” Dean muttered, embarrassed.

 

“And you’re being safe with all the-“ He pointed at the car. “-you are doing?” He cackled as Dean elbowed him.

 

“Bobby! Not funny! God, I’m not a kid! I’m leaving now!” Dean happily scurried out of the garage, cringing as Bobby laughed to himself obviously pleased with embarrassing the hell out of him.  He got into his shiny and newly repainted car. Cas was waiting in the car park still and gave him a thumbs up as he drove out the warehouse. He returned the gesture and then followed him.

 

He trailed Cas to his house and was surprised when he pulled in at their spot at the top of the street, he got out the car and Dean wound down the window. His friend leant forwards on the window sill.

 

“How do you think it went? Are you going to get into trouble?” Dean leant back in his chair and stared up at him.

 

“No way man, I think Bobby is over it. He would have yelled otherwise, doesn’t matter if you were there or not, he would have ripped me a new one if he cared.”

 

“Okay, I- I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Cas looked at him sincerely and he knew he was lucky to have him. He nodded.

 

“I’m fine, thank you for coming with me, I don’t think I could have done it on my own.”

 

“It’s quite alright, Dean, I do feel partly responsible.”

 

“No, don’t blame yourself, it’s not you. You’re fine, perfect. Never change, okay?”

 

“Okay, Dean.” He smiled. Things felt back to normal again. He had fixed the car, Bobby knew and he was still alive and Cas was still his. He wanted to kiss him. Cas must have felt the same too because he was looking at his lips. “Meet me at school tomorrow, in the morning.” He stared at him pointedly and Dean nodded, understanding. “I’ll call you later, don’t forget you have Latin with me at lunch tomorrow.”

 

“Okay, I won’t. Send Sam down for me, yeah?” Cas nodded and smiled one last time before walking to his car and driving off.

 

He didn’t know why but Dean felt like something had shifted between them. He just wasn’t sure of what it was.


	16. Chapter Nine - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/)

They had planned to meet in the library before school.  With two fresh cups of coffee, Dean arrived before the library was due to open, reasoning that Cas would probably be there anyway.  After a few minutes he thought he heard a noise within the room and tried the door, surprised to find it give easily.  The library was empty save for Cas, who was already sat in his usual seat, staring blankly at the wall, chin in one hand, pencil in the other, tapping repeatedly at the desk.

 

"Hello, Dean." Cas straightened up and put his hands in his lap. He wasn't studying this morning, his bag was on the back of the chair with his new coat, he looked like he had been deep in thought before he had arrived. Cas sat up straight, the pencil stilling, caught off guard.  He had his Latin book open, but the yellow legal pad in front of him was empty.  Either he hadn’t been there long or he was preoccupied with something.

 

"Hey, yourself." He set a cup of coffee near him, over to him, he thought he might appreciate it because he had loved it when Cas had done it for him last week. It had been a sweet gesture he wanted to return. "You okay? I got you one of those fancy caramel things."

 

"Thanks." His face softened and he gave a small smile . "How was Bobby last night? Did he say anything?"

 

Dean frowned, hoping that he hadn't been worried all night; he looked kind of tired. He wished they had talked more last night, but he had spent most the evening trying to keep Bobby from checking up on Sam, who had gone straight to bed.

 

"Not really,” he finally replied, “I think we got away with it."

 

"The last thing I need,” Cas ran his fingers through his hair, “is my parents finding out; are you sure he won't tell?"

 

Dean wasn't sure if Cas was talking about Gabriel getting drunk, the fact he punched his own brother or that Bobby had found out they were having some kind of big gay teenage romance.

 

"Bobby's reliable, I'm sure he won't say anything, and if he was going to he would be decent enough to warn us first and give us the choice to fess up." Cas nodded slowly, Dean watched as he licked the rim of his coffee cup slowly, lost in thought.

 

Looking away trying to distract himself from the thoughts Cas’ actions were evoking, a guilty knot twisting within as his thoughts deterred onto a more pleasurable track.  He didn't know if Cas would be up for a before school make out session after what happened; he needed to stop thinking with his dick when his friend was sat there clearly distressed. “How’d you get in here, anyway?  Thought this place was locked down until Mr. Shurley arrived?” he asked, trying to change the subject. Cas took the change and grinned a little deviously at him, obviously pleased with himself.

 

"I have a key, Chuck gave it to me." He smirked.

 

"You're joking?" Dean laughed, impressed with how so many teachers trusted Cas. If only they knew he was actually a little shit. they wouldn't be giving him fucking keys if they knew the antics Cas got up to.

 

"I know." Cas sighed, playfully rolling his eyes . "I'm such a nerd."

 

"Actually, I was going to say that it's pretty cool."

 

"Oh."  He paused before finally giving Dean a genuine smile.

 

Dean returned it with a grin and  wink; "So you opened it up this morning for our personal use?"

 

"Yep and I could, say... lock the door?" They exchanged a look and Dean's cock was already twitching in interest. Cas was looking at him, his eyes that shocking shade of blue and a slow blush crept across his cheeks staining them beautifully.

 

"Why would you want to lock the door?" he teased. He relaxed back in the chair, feeling slightly cocky in the knowledge that Cas couldn't resist him. Cas leant over the table, his hands on the wood and his face barely inches from his own. He couldn't help the hitch in his breath and he glanced down at Cas' lips before closing the space between them. They pressed their lips together and both moaned instantly at the sensation.  “I guess you can lock the door,” he whispered huskily, the blood rushing to his quickly hardening dick. Cas pulled back slowly, and Dean begrudged the loss of contact.  His eyes fluttered open and found Cas staring at him.  Cas’ eyes bore into his making his stomach flutter and his jeans tighten more. Cas looked at Dean in a way no one else ever had, as if he was the only thing in the world, and right now, unlike before, after his big gay freak out, he felt safe and secure with this knowledge.  Perhaps he could overcome this?  But right now, right at this moment, all he care about was getting Cas’ lips back on his.  He moved to recapture them, but Cas only allowed a brief press before he was  hopping over to the door and locking it.

 

Turning, Cas leant against the door and looked Dean over.  Holding out his hand, he beckoned Dean to him.  Dean, unable to keep the smile off his face, sauntered over to his friend, leaning against the door with one hand at Cas’ head, whilst the other took the one offered to him.  He leaned into kiss him when Cas burst into apology. 

 

“Sorry I dragged you out here early, I just knew that seeing you would make me feel better – like everything is going to be okay.”

 

Dean blinked, before the gentle curve of a smile graced his lips; "Me too, Cas. It's no problem, I like seeing you," he reassured him, touched at what he had said.

 

"Now come on," Cas gently shoved him, playfully tugging his hand to lead him into the maze of bookshelves, "I always wanted to make out in the library." He kissed Dean deeply, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.

 

Dean groaned, slipping his hands under Cas’ jumper, petting across the soft skin of his waist. He pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him further. It felt good to hold him, and he knew it was crazy because he’d only seen his friend yesterday, but he had missed him. They broke apart from the kiss slightly, resting their heads together, their breathing heavy and laboured. "I thought about you, last night, sucking my dick…”Cas whispered, before leaning in and kissing Dean again. “ It felt so good, Dean…” he muttered against his lips. “I can't believe you did that for me."

 

Dean laughed breathlessly, desire coursing through him at the memory. He rubbed unashamedly against Cas, his dick straining against his jeans wanting him to feel what he was doing, that he was driving him insane with the feel of his body and the filthy words spilling from his mouth from what he was saying.

 

"You felt so good in my mouth,” he whispered, his hips moving against the other boy. “Next time I want you to come… I want to taste you." Cas tensed against him,  groaning softly before pushing his hips against Dean's.

 

"I want to do it to you," he admitted, his voice deep and gravelly; it sounded sinful spilling from his lips.

 

"Mmm, that sounds so good,“ Dean murmured, “been thinking about it too."

 

Cas slipped his hand between them and rubbed against his clothed dick; "I want to do it now."

 

Dean pulled away slightly at looked at him surprised; "Like now, now?"

 

Cas grinned cheekily as he sank to his knees. Dean's eyes widened at the image before him; Cas staring up at him through his lashes, slowly running his hands up Dean’s denim clad thighs towards his straining zipper. Dean gulped; when Cas had said he wanted to do it, Dean hadn’t thought he meant right this minute! Cas’ fingers finally reached his zipper and slowly pulled it down. Every thought, every dream and fantasy did not live up to how Dean felt in that moment as he was unable to tear his eyes away from watching Cas pull his cock out, licking his lips hungrily.

 

He held it firmly and confidently in his hand and without hesitation, he leant forward and with the flat of his tongue licked at the slit, tonguing at it, as he looked up at Dean watching his pupils blow wide with lust.  Cas moved his hands from Dean’s thighs, up to his hips and shoved him back against the shelf, pinning him in place.

 

Dean gripped the edge of the shelf, his head snapping back as Cas’ mouth engulfed his cock, sucking on the head, his hand slowly jerking what wasn't in his delicious mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to watch, for fear it would be over far too quickly. The sight of what Cas was doing was overwhelming. He was too hot, his skin flushed and he could feel himself burning. His hands were itching to bury into Cas’ hair and the temptation became too much as Cas took him deeper into his mouth, sucking up and down the shaft hard. He ran a hand through his locks, scratching lightly across his scalp as his fingers flexed, wanting to grab at it instead.

 

 

He opened his eyes and glanced down to see Cas still looking up through his lashes at him, smiling around him as that mouth reduced him to a complete mess. Cas pulled away licking his lips as he swapped hands and began stroking him roughly.

 

"Does it feel good, Dean? Do you want to come in my mouth?"

 

"Oh, fuck! Baby, please don't stop," Dean begged, he couldn't help the words as they tumbled out of his mouth. He grabbed himself and rubbed his dick against Cas' lips, leaving them shiny and slick, watching as Cas’ tongue sneaked out and lapped at his dripping slit. He groaned and tangled his other hand into Cas' hair.

 

"Just like that, Cas. " He chewed at his lip, biting back a moan, aware that he had to be quiet, but unable to control his heavy breathing. He tried to savour the feeling of Cas' hot and wanting mouth, the way he sucked around him and licked at him, devoured him. Cas eyelids were hooded, fluttering open and close as he swallowed him down slowly, sucking hard and moaning softly around him. It became too much.

 

"Cas, I'm gunna come, oh fuck, baby." He pushed at him gently and watched as Cas leant back on his heels; his mouth came off, but he left it open, his tongue out, resting it under the tip of Dean's dick.

 

Cas slipped his free hand into his own slacks to rub himself and Dean watched entranced, pure bliss etched across Cas' face He jerked him harder, his grip tighter and in time to his own fist. He locked eyes with Cas as he tipped over the edge, coming in spurts over his best friends tongue as he was worked through his orgasm.

 

He stared down at Cas in awe as his friend withdrew his tongue and licked his lips, biting at it seductively and moaning at the taste. His hand continued to move furiously in his pants. A moment more and he was leaning back, his hand reaching behind him to balance him as he came, eyes wide and staring straight at Dean. Cas really was going to be the death of him.

 

Dean smiled and offered his hand, pulling him up and then into an embrace. "That was so fucking hot," he muttered, leaning in to kiss him, hesitating only for a second at the thought of what had been in Cas' mouth. Their lips had only just met when they heard the rattle of keys outside the door and before Chuck stumbled in.

 

They sprang apart in panic. "Fuck!" Dean cursed under his breath, fumbling to put his cock away and  do his fly. Chuck must have noticed their things at the table because he yelled.

 

"Castiel?" "Yeah?" he shouted back, as Dean shot him a look. What the fuck was he doing? They straightened up just in time, Cas grabbed a load of books off the shelf and dumped them into Dean's unsuspecting arms.

 

"Oh! Hello, Dean."

 

He jumped and spun around."Hi, Mr. Shurley." He smiled wide and fake and tried not to let the complete horror of almost being caught with his pants around his ankles come through.

 

"I'm just helping Dean revise for our Latin group later," Castiel lied calmly. "Oh good, I wanted to sit in today." Cas nodded and continued to pretended to browse the shelves.

 

"Are you boys okay?" he asked, looking a little confused. "It's just-”  Dean swallowed.  Did he know?  Was there cum on Cas’ face?  His jeans?  Could he see the stain on Cas’ slacks?  Had he heard them gasping as they came?  Had he shouted Cas’ name?  “...The door was locked."

 

"There were freshmen running around in the hallway,” Cas supplied. “I didn't want them in here messing on the computers when I'm trying to concentrate; I don't appreciate the distraction. I didn't think you would mind since it wasn't opening time."

 

"No, that's- that's good. Thank you. Right well, I have to go but I'll see you boys at lunch." Chuck waved as he walked off.

 

Dean let out a sigh of relief as he heard the library office door click shut and shoved the books back at Cas.

 

"That was close!" Cas laughed uncontrollably and dropped the books to the floor. Great, he had gone insane.

 

"That was awesome!"

 

Dean rolled his eyes, before laughing too; he guessed it was.


	17. Chapter Nine - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/)

They tried working on their Latin work, whilst sipping their now cooled coffee, but Dean found himself distracted by Cas’ lips, causing his dick to stir again.  Cas noticed Dean’s discomfort quickly, and teased him relentlessly, squeezing and stroking his thigh beneath the table.  Half an hour passed before they reluctantly parted, Cas to find the bathroom to clean himself up, whilst Dean slowly made his way to homeroom, his thoughts lingering still on their encounter.  It was whilst Dean was sat at his desk, head resting on it as he tried to refocus his thoughts to get through the day, that he heard Cas’ name brought up again and again in connection with Jo’s party.  The rumours quickly dispelled any sexy thoughts that still lingered as he rose to his friend’s defence over accusations of gate-crashing, fighting and scandalous sex on the bar – where the hell did that one come from?  A knot in his chest – that he didn’t know had settled there – was released as the bell rang and no one had mentioned the state of his beloved baby.

 

Dean was finding history a lot easier now that Cas had bought him up to speed. He actually enjoyed the lesson; Mr. Crowley had divided the room into two teams and they had a huge debate. He even felt confident enough to raise his hand and put across a few points. He was surprised when the bell, sounding the end of the lesson, rang. As usual his mind was set on getting to gym so he could mess around with Cas, but Jo caught him as soon as he left the room. She grabbed him and pulled him into the girl's restroom.

 

"Jo! I can't stay in here!" he exclaimed.

 

"I'm so sorry about your car!" she blurted out. Dean's eyes almost bugged out of his head and he forgot all about the fact he was stood in the ladies bathroom. "You know about my car?"

 

"Of course I do, it was me and my mom who moved it behind the bar! After everyone left, I noticed Luke and Michael messing around with it; I was going to call the police but — well, I couldn't draw attention the bar, I didn't want my mom to lose her licence! I had to ‘fess up I had the party! I thought she was going to kill me, but it was okay, ” Jo rambled.

 

Dean was still pissed, but relieved that the police hadn’t gotten involved, it would have just caused more problems.

 

"I didn't have your number,” she continued, “so I couldn't call you to let you know. My mom said she would call Bobby, but we had to open late because I was still cleaning up the bar. By the time she called on Sunday, Bobby said you and Cas had already collected it. We didn't even notice it was gone."

 

"Yeah, we fixed it, was just a new paint job really, it wasn't as bad as it looked." He felt a bit awkward knowing that she had seen what they’d written.

 

"And about Cas..." her voice became hushed as she leant in closer. Dean's mouth went dry and his stomach twisted. "I just wanted to say that I understand; I'm not going to lie, I did fancy you, but I'll back off. I don't want to cause trouble for you."

 

"It's not like that,” he tried to deny quickly; he certainly didn't need rumours like that starting. “You've got the wrong idea, I don't know where you got that from, but don't go spreading that around; you'll get him in trouble."

 

"Really?" She looked at him in disbelief. "Well I don't believe you! You lied, Winchester, you said you had a girlfriend, but you don't!  You have a boyfriend, but hey, each to their own, your secret’s safe with me!"

 

"Like I said, it's not like that, we're just friends," he insisted, but she just hummed doubtfully.

 

"Anyway, sorry about the car and the hung-over kids," she continued, "my mom wants you all to come over for a meal at The Roadhouse, you and your family, and Cas with Gabriel. You know, as an apology."

 

He shrugged uncomfortably, before muttering, "I dunno, I'll ask him and let you know later." . Making a quick exit, he hurried to gym, hoping he wouldn't be late.

 

When Dean finally arrived he was surprised to see that Cas was surrounding by a group of guys he didn't recognise. "Cas!" Dean called to him, noticing how awkward his friend was stood, trying to brush the guys off. He nodded towards the showers and Cas scuttled away from them and followed Dean inside, he slammed the door and sagged against it in relief, casting a grateful look at Dean. "What was that about? They aren't giving you trouble are they?"

 

Cas raised an eyebrow.  "Why? Are you going to sort them out for me?"

 

"If they're being dicks to you then, yeah!" Cas rolled his eyes.

 

"I can take care of myself – I think I proved that on Saturday. Apparently everyone knows about it; news travels fast. They were trying to convince me to join the boxing club."

 

"Really?" Now that was unexpected. "I might have laughed when they asked, I thought they were joking. I told them no, obviously."

 

"Why?"

 

Cas pulled a face.

 

"My family wouldn't approve, and I think I'm already doing one thing they would disown me for…"

 

"Would they be really mad?"

 

"What? About me joining the boxing club or the fact I was sucking your dick this morn-?" Dean shoved his hand over Cas' mouth.

 

"Cas! Shhh!"

 

Cas batted him away. "We've done worse and got away with it."

 

"But still, I don't want anyone to hear, which reminds me, I spoke to Jo earlier. She wants us all to go for a meal at The Roadhouse."

 

"What, tonight?"

 

Dean shrugged.  "I'm not really sure, I didn't ask for details, I wasn't sure if you'd be up for it. She wants you to bring Gabriel and has invited Sam and Bobby too." He failed to mention how she had challenged him about their relationship status. He didn't want to make things more complicated. After all, Cas insisted they were only friends with benefits, it's not like he was lying about Cas being just a friend.

 

"I guess it could be fun, might be her way of apologising."

 

"I think so, she did say sorry, it's why I was a bit late. She also knew about my car. Apparently her and her mom moved it and was going to get Bobby to come and collect it."

 

"That was nice of them."

 

"They were covering their own ass’,” Dean dismissed. “I'm just glad they didn't call the cops. I would have died."

 

"Erg, let's not even think about it. How was history anyway?"

 

Dean made to answer when a whistle sounded in the air and they scurried to get changed, tripping over themselves to join everyone.

 

At break they stayed in the showers and talked more about going to The Roadhouse with Jo. Cas wanting to go because it would be nice for him to go out, but they had to weigh up the consequences of having Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Gabriel, Sam and him and Cas all in one room. Ellen knew Dean and Cas had been at the party; if she knew about the boys she might say something. Dean had already pushed his luck enough with the car, there was no way they would get through the meal without a comment being made about Gabriel and Sam. Bobby might put his shotgun to use. That's if he hadn't been told already by Ellen, he doubted it though, he was sure he would have marched down the school and humiliated Dean just for the fun of it.

 

As much as they thought it would be fun, they eventually decided to decline the offer, Dean had work anyway and he didn’t think he’d be able to get out of it. They saw Jo on the way to Latin club and gave her their decision.  She was disappointed, but said she would ask her mom about setting it up for another day. Thinking it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't straight after their chaotic weekend, Dean and Cas gave her their numbers. They had computers at the end of the day which suited Dean fine as he got to chat to Cas all lesson. Cas, having finished the assignments, opened Paint and made Dean laugh by doodling all over Dean's screen. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure out how the other boy kept doing it. Sitting next to Dean, Jo kept glancing his way trying to see what was making him laugh.

 

"Thought you were just friends?" she questioned with an all knowing smirk.. "No friend makes you smile like that, just talk to him!"

 

In the bustle of the class leaving the room, Cas discreetly squeezed his butt as they walked out.  When Dean turned to see who had just groped him, Cas’ face was far too serious, although his eyes were dancing with mirth.

 

"See you tomorrow," Cas said nonchalantly.

 

"Yeah," Dean tried to act as casual as his friend, "Text me."

 

Great, now he had a boner again.

 

*

 

 

*

 

Dean was nervous when he turned up at the garage, he still hadn’t worked out what exactly Bobby thought was between him and Cas, but after the state of his car, the words cut into the paintwork, he thought his surrogate uncle was looking at his and Cas’ friendship a lot closer than Dean wanted him to.  Especially as he hadn’t yet completely worked out in his own head what was going on exactly.

 

Lost in his worries, it took him a moment to realise that the shop was all locked up and Bobby was sat outside, apparently waiting for him.  "Are you going out or something?" he asked, slightly confused; Bobby wasn’t the type to just leave work and he never really went anywhere without being forced.

 

"We're all going out,” Bobby told him as he walked towards the car, “Ellen Harvelle invited us over for food. Didn’t her daughter tell you?"

 

"Well, yeah, but I said no. I thought I was working."

 

"No appointments this evening, son, Rufus finished the last order earlier.”  Bobby climbed in the back of Baby, surprising Dean even more.  Sam just looked blankly at his elder brother before shrugging. “Head on home first though, you two need to put on shirts or something." Sam sighed.

 

"No-one tells me anything, I don't want to go to Ellen’s," he complained, sinking low in his seat.

 

"I bet you don't you little dick," Dean muttered under his breath.

 

"Huh?" Bobby grunted.

 

"Nothing." He smiled widely, feigning innocence.

 

"Might as well pick up Castiel and his brother on the way,” Bobby told him, ”They're invited too. Text him and get him to ask his parents."

 

"Gabe's coming too?" Sam grinned and Dean rolled his eyes as he reached for his phone. He let Bobby lean over the seats to fiddle with the radio and tried not to cringe at the channels he was flicking through. Normally Dean would say something about it, but he just pulled a face at his lap and got busy texting Cas.

 

**_Change of plan, I'm coming over with Sam and Bobby.  He says we all have to go to Jo's thing. X_ **

He dropped his phone between his knees and rubbed his suddenly sweating palms against his thighs as he restarted the car, a hundred thoughts swirling around his head – was this a way for Ellen and Bobby to corner them all?  Would Bobby kick them back to John?  What if- His phone vibrated.

 

 _Cas_  
Received 3.45  
When? X

Taking a deep breath – he could do this – he pulled into traffic and headed to his friends’.

 

They turned into Cas' drive and drove slowly up the gravel drive, he stopped next to Cas' car in front of the lounge window. Inside he could see Anna and Gabriel squabbling – Anna had Gabriel in a headlock and Cas was screaming at them, trying to pull them apart. Dean held the car horn down and laughed as they sprung apart.

 

Cas stared out at them in horror, a blush creeping into his cheeks that he had been caught in the chaos. He motioned up the stairs to his siblings, and the abashed group ran out of sight. A few seconds later he appeared at the front door an embarrassed smile plastered to his face.

 

"Come in." He gestured enthusiastically and Dean groaned as he slowly, reluctantly got out of the car.  He had hoped to avoid bringing Bobby inside.

 

"Would you like a drink while you wait, Mr. Singer?" Cas offered the older guest.

 

"Nah, I'm okay, kid-" The intercom buzzed interrupting Bobby’s reply; Cas looked apologetically at the man before standing and walking over to slap the button on the phone.

 

"Castiel, can Sam come upstairs?" Sam's head shot up from where he was staring at the rug and looked at Cas hopefully. The older teen nodded and Sam sprinted off without a word.

 

"Dean, I'm not sure what to wear,” he stated looking helplessly down at his clothes, sighing when he noticed that his tie was backwards – again!  “I've never been to The Roadhouse before."

 

"Just wear some jeans and a shirt, you'll look good anyway."  There was a beat before Dean realised what he’d said and he felt his cheeks flame before casting a glance at Bobby; he hoped the other man hadn’t noticed his comment.  He hadn’t even meant to say something so… girly!

 

"I feel odd next to you," Cas confessed. "Could you help me look for something appropriate?"

 

"Cas, I don't know anything about clothes!" There, that was a perfectly straight thing to say.  Men didn’t know about these sort of things after all.  “You look fine, just wear that.”

 

Castiel stared at him and shuffled his feet.

 

"I can't wear this, I wear stuff like this every day. Please Dean?" He stared at him with his big blue soulful eye, and Dean damned him and his perfect puppy look.  Couldn’t believe what a little shit he was being – in front of Bobby too! Dean cast a discreet look towards his surrogate uncle, who was simply watching their antics with a raised brow.

 

"Fine!" He sighed exasperated, pushing himself out of his chair. Cas tried to hide the grin on his face and failed.

 

"Will you two idjits just go and get ready?” Bobby huffed just as there was a loud bang from upstairs.

 

"I'll check they're not messing around as well," Cas grumbled, frowning at the ceiling.

 

"So what happened?" Cas asked as they began climbing the stairs. "Why are we going to the bar? I thought we agreed not to go with the whole car thing and them being drunk and causing trouble for Jo."

 

"I think Bobby and Ellen have been conspiring against us. I got to work and he was already locked up; said Ellen had called and wanted us all over there.  Seems a bit fishy to me."

 

"Maybe they're just being nice?"

 

"Maybe.”  Dean stopped and glared up at Cas.  The other boy stopped two steps ahead of him and glanced back.   “And stop embarrassing me in front of Bobby or I'll kick your ass!  I don’t want him knowing about… _us_ yet."

 

"You'll do what to my ass?" Cas ignored the comment and shook his ass at his friend.  Dean groaned, feeling his dick stirring in interest.

 

"Shut up,” he murmured as he pushed his friend to carry on.

 

"I think you're being paranoid,” Cas continued their conversation as they stepped into his room, “We might have a good time."

 

Dean stopped in the doorway, surprised to see his friend’s bed still unmade, but Cas seemed unperturbed by it and marched straight to his massive closet and they both stepped inside.

 

"What about this?" he called to Dean from within, and Dean made his way inside to see what his friend was suggesting. He shrugged, "Yeah sure, and some jeans." .

 

Cas turned and began stripping down to this shorts, whilst Dean leaned against the door frame, taking his fill of the boy bending over in just his boxer briefs, his ass tight and perky and right there-

 

He adjusted himself in his now to tight jeans, frowning down at the floor as he tried to figure out, in his own head what it was about Cas that gave him instant hard-on when other guys did nothing for him.

 

"So, do I look okay?" he asked, with a sexy all knowing smirk spreading across his lips. Dean finally took in the clothes he had donned; his jeans were snug and the black jumper and blue shirt he wore underneath it had a low enough neck line to show the remaining visages of the dark smudges he had left there. His hair was even messier than normal after being dishevelled by his clothing.

 

Dean licked his lips as Cas bent over to grab a pair of shoes. The vision of Cas, casually dressed for a change, removed all his thoughts and worries about sexuality and replaced it with simple desire.  He took his chance and shot forwards, closing the gap between them and slapping Cas’ ass, hard enough to make him jump up.

 

"Oh!" Cas yelped and then laughed as Dean grabbed him from behind and hugged him.  Cas leant back into the embrace and tilted his head to try and kiss his friend. Their lips brushed together off centre and Cas turned to deepen the kiss.

 

"What was that for?" Cas asked with a smile as they pulled apart.

 

"Because I felt like it.”  Dean shrugged, “And you're really hot in those jeans." Cas beamed and kissed him again, just a peck against his lips. "Now let's go before I lose the ability to keep my hands off you."

 

"Is that a promise?" Dean hugged him, squeezing him harder than necessary before he let go.

 

When they finally left Cas made straight for Gabriel’s room, pushing open the slightly ajar door.  The room was a complete contrast to Cas’ organised, Dean noted as he took in what looked like a hurricane rescue scene.  

 

"Fuck's sake," Cas muttered as he backed out, turning to the door next to it and shoving the door open. "What are you two doing?!" Both boys, leant over a computer jumped in surprise, Gabriel closing the internet browser as  he kicked back from the desk.

 

"Nothing!" they exclaimed, Gabe’s smile was far too innocent, and Sam looked at anything but the older pair in the doorway. Dean glared at Sam, trying to silently kill him for embarrassing him again. "Well instead of doing nothing can you get ready, please?” Cas snapped. “Mr. Singer is waiting downstairs for us, Gabriel, don't keep him waiting. You can tidy your room when we get home, I'm not doing it again, it's your responsibility." He slammed the door behind him and walked swiftly down the stairs.

 

"You okay?" Dean grabbed the other teen by his shoulder, forcing him to turn around before they returned to the kitchen.

 

"Yeah, it's nothing.  Just hate him sometimes." He cast his eyes down, looking ashamed at his own admission. Dean reassuringly squeezed his shoulder. "Don't worry, I plot Sam's death every day. I don't think you’ll go to hell for that.  I think it's normal." Cas nodded uncertainly causing Dean to frown.  He’d been joking, surely Cas got that? Cas took a deep breath and Dean realised that he still wasn’t really with him.

 

"I'm okay, I just… I need to do laundry, I'll only be a sec." He stepped around Dean and ran back up the stairs. Dean guessed he wasn't supposed to follow him so he went back into the kitchen. Bobby was still where they had left him.

 

"Nice house, innit?" Bobby tried, glancing around the room, as Dean fell into the chair opposite him.

 

"Yeah, it's nice,” he sighed, “Really big.  You should see Cas' room; it's like the size of mine and Sam's put together." He fidgeted. "He's just doing laundry or something."

 

"Are we taking two cars, Dean?" Cas appeared at the end of the kitchen through a door that Dean had never noticed before.

 

"I thought it would be easier," Bobby replied as Dean turned to him for the answer. Cas nodded and grabbed a soda  from the fridge; he passed one to Bobby and Dean and joined them while they waited for the boys.

 

"Have you asked your parents if it's okay?” Bobby enquired. “I don't want to get you in trouble." Cas shifted uncomfortably while Dean tried to slyly shake his head no at Bobby, his eyes widening, trying to silently communicate to stop.

 

"They aren't here," Cas finally replied, playing with the label on his bottle. "I doubt it matters anyway; we already did half an hour of studies today, so it should be fine."

 

Bobby glanced at Dean a frown wrinkling his already lined brow; from the look in his eyes, Dean knew he wasn’t confused by Cas’ comment but concerned. Dean simply shook his head back at his elder; Cas' parents were always a sore subject, he had never met them and had no idea what they looked like. Their home was void of family pictures. Cas never spoke about them unless it was to complain or a fleeting comment about something they had said. He never asked about them just as Cas never asked about his dad. It was a silent agreement that suited them both.

 

"Sorry, I just assumed because there's two cars on your drive…" Bobby tried explain.

 

"They're mine and Anna's."

 

"Would she like to come too?"

 

"I don't think so, she doesn't like hanging out with me much." Dean had only met Anna once, at the party, but Cas had said that Anna stayed at Jo's Saturday night – it might be best that she not come along.

 

Gabriel finally wandered down a few minutes later, breaking the silence. A few minutes after that they all piled into their cars.


	18. Chapter Nine - Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/)

They went to Bobby’s first and the boys ran straight upstairs – Cas and Dean going to Dean's room and their brothers into Sam's. They could hear Sam talking through the wall and he made a mental note to be extra quiet the next time he called Cas.

 

He pulled some clothes out of his drawers as he waited to use the shower – Bobby had called first dibs before they had even crossed the front door. Cas sat on the bed and Dean could feel his eyes watching him as he busied himself.

 

"So, er, this morning, that was cool," he muttered, leaning into Cas' personal space as he sat next to him. Cas leant his head against his shoulder.

 

"We should do it again, you know, just not in a library." Cas wrapped an arm around him and Dean copied him enjoying the embrace.

 

"When do you think we can get some alone time?" Really he wanted to ask when he could stay over again?  When were his parents home? But right now Cas didn’t need reminding of his unhappy home situation.

 

"I really don't know," the dark haired teen sighed.

 

"That’s okay, we get to see each other at school, and at the weekend…”  Dean suddenly had an idea, “We can go somewhere if you want? Just you and me."

 

"Really?” Cas turned to him, his eyes wide in excitement. “That would be great.." He paused, chewing on his bottom lip as he  looked up at Dean. "What did you have in mind?"

 

"Whatever makes you happy," he replied. Cas kissed him on the cheek. Dean thought it was one of the nicest kisses he’d ever had; it gave him butterflies.

 

"You're really nice to me, Dean," he said and laid back on the bed, pulling Dean with him. He lay there with Cas on his chest until Bobby yelled the shower was free, then he scrambled up, pushing Cas off him, and shot out the door before Sam could get there first.

 

When he got back from the shower, Cas surprised him from behind the door and stole his towel.

 

"Cas!" he whispered harshly, trying to grab it back, but the little shit threw it across the room and out of reach. A moment later Dean found himself pinned to the door, Cas sucking marks into his neck and licking his nipples, one hand pressed against his mouth. Cas was fierce in his treatment, his tongue demanding against his skin. Dean struggled to keep quiet under the attention. The sensations were overwhelming and Dean tried to grind his hips against Cas, his cock hard and straining for attention.  When Cas pulled away, he slumped against the door as he tried to steady himself.

 

"Now we're even," the bastard commented, smug satisfaction filling his voice.

 

"Wha-?" Dean’s mind was foggy with lust and couldn’t understand why his friend had stopped.

 

"Come on man, finish me off," he begged. Cas ran a finger over his neck and Dean glared at him, but shivered under the touch, his skin sensitive and a little sore in a good way. At that moment he realised the shit had given him a hickey! "Oh, you are gonna get it you sneaky fuck." Cas smiled sickly sweet and stepped away.

 

"Come on, get dressed."

 

He was so going to get it next time they were alone.

 

The Roadhouse was closed, a sign up in the window stating it would be that way for a few days – Dean guessed it was going to take a while to clean up all the mess. Bobby knocked a few times and Ellen swung the door open with a big smile.

 

"Hey folks, come in! Thanks for coming!" There was a chorus of hellos as they filed in. Dean had never realised that the place was so big, it looked so different in the day, void of a pulsing crowd of patrons. Jo waved at them, she was filling tall glasses on a tray at the bar with soda and to accompany the two filled with beer. She carried them over the table and placed them down carefully. "Hey! I was so happy when mom said you were coming!” Jo greeted them happily as they shuffled across the benches – Cas ensuring he sat next to Dean. “I thought you were working Dean?"

 

"I thought so too, but Bobby got everything done."

 

"Sure did. I would never turn down food at Ellen's! How you doing little lady? Is Dean looking after you at school?" She nodded.

 

"It's nice to see you two still get on,” Ellen smiled down at her daughter fondly.  “I remember when you were small you were attached at the hip, always running around under my feet and hogging the pool table. Sometimes you'd disappear for hours and come back covered in dirt, but your little smiles were so big! I always thought you two would end up together." She winked at Dean.

 

"Mom!" Jo whined, burying her face in her hands. Dean shifted, embarrassed as well and gripped Cas' knee under the table. Only last week he had attacked him in the showers out of jealousy. He had trusted him enough to go to that party and hadn't even questioned if anything had happened – he certainly didn’t want him considering that he and Jo-  He couldn’t even finish that thought.

 

"This must be Castiel and Gabriel." She nodded at them both, the smile slipping into a frown. "I heard you boys caused quite a commotion at the weekend." Gabriel shrunk down in the trying to make himself as small as possible. Dean sucked in a breath, his eyes flicking between Cas and Ellen and then to Bobby who was casually eating a bread roll.

 

"I'm so sorry." Cas' face was full of worry, he didn't even try to deny it! "I don't know what Jo told you, but I was only defending Gabriel, I didn't mean to cause any trouble." He stared at his little brother waiting for him to say something.  However, Gabriel remained silent, playing with his hand. A second later he yelped and Dean figured Cas had kicked him under the table.

 

"Yeah, sorry, Ms. Harvelle."

 

She pointed at Gabriel looking fierce; "No drinking," and then turning back to Cas; "and no fighting."

 

"I'm sorry," Cas repeated.

 

"Just handle your temper better next time."

 

"Mom, you said you wouldn't say anything!" Jo looked mortified.

 

"And _you,_ Joanna Beth!  No wild parties! I’d have found out even if you hadn't told me, See what happens when you go behind my back to do stuff?" Jo nodded glumly. "I know you all aren't stupid, which is why we are letting you off this once," Ellen continued, looking them all in the eye.

 

"Sam, don’t you have anything to add," came Bobby's gruff voice.

 

"Erm, I..." Sam looked to Dean for support.

 

"I know what happened,” Bobby advised him, his voice stern, “Time to come clean boy."

 

"Okay, I did drink!” he finally confessed, “I'm sorry, I won't do it again!"

 

"It was Luke and Michael's fault too! They took us!" Gabriel argued.

 

"Shut it, Gabriel. You are both old enough to say no!" Cas snapped. "You both knew it was wrong."

 

"No, you shut up, Castiel! You're not so innocent! You always sneak out with Dean in the middle of the night!"

 

It was as if something in Cas snapped, Dean felt him go rigid next to him, but he didn’t get a chance to try and cut in when Cas exclaimed; "I'm eighteen, and I don't get so drunk that I don't know what I'm doing! I would never have gone to that party if you hadn't snuck off! I'm glad Dean was there to see you; what would have happened if he hadn't found Sam?! They would have left you there!” His voice was getting louder, his cheeks flushed with anger. Ellen and Jo looked alarmed. Dean squeezed his knee again, Trying to get his attention, reassure him. “I always look after you and stick up for you, and you don't even care how much trouble it gets me in!" he muttered, looking down, ashamed at his outburst..

 

"Okay, well I can see you're all really sorry, so now that's out the way let's just relax and have a good time," she said delicately, smiling softly at Cas who gave her a wobbly smile back

 

"Well said, but seriously, you do this again, Sam and force your brother and Castiel to lie and I'll ground you until you're eighteen," Bobby told him firmly.

 

Sam's mouth dropped open.  "But,” he spluttered, “I didn't tell them to lie!"

 

"Be grateful you have a brother who will cover for you, imagine if your dad found out, and you," he said to Gabriel. " Dean, if he does this again then you tell me." Dean nodded, but knew that if the same thing happened, he’d act the exact same way.

 

"I really am sorry about this weekend, about my brothers and how I dealt with it. I know it was unacceptable, and also to you as well, Mr. Singer; I didn't even notice Sam was gone until Dean called me."

 

"Don't beat yourself up about it, boys will be boys." Bobby was clearly over it, and Dean surmised that the worse was over, thank God!

 

"He's right, Castiel, hopefully you've all learned you lesson. Now please, call me Ellen. Help yourselves to snacks." She turned and glared pointedly to Bobby who was eating his way through the breadsticks. "Now, we have burgers or lasagne; what does everyone want?"

 

They all got chatting once the awkward atmosphere had passed  – which didn't take long. Bobby and Ellen were catching up; Ellen quizzing him about Jodie Mills, Bobby trying to deflect.  Dean, in no way, wanted to hear any more about _that_!

 

Dean regaled them all with his version of events from the party. He took great delight in reliving the moment he’d caught Sam and Ruby in the bathroom, now seeing the funny side of it. Jo laughed until she couldn't breathe as Dean acted it out, pulling obscene faces and wrapping his arms around himself. Eventually even Sam couldn't hold a straight face and burst out laughing.

 

The meal was delicious; definitely the best burger Dean had ever tasted and then Ellen served pie, which was, in a word, awesome. All in all, it was good night and Jo had kept the drinks coming, so by the time they had finished dessert Bobby was drunk and laughing his ass off with Ellen. Bobby invited everyone to his, saying it would be fun to do it again. Ellen agreed as long as Bobby promised not to cook.

 

Dean got his chance for payback when Cas asked Jo where the toilets were. Like the ever faithful friend, Dean volunteered to show him and, because they were surrounded by friends, Cas forced out a stiff, "Thank you, Dean," before following him upstairs. Dean gave him the privacy to pee, but once Cas was done he grabbed his friend and picked him, carrying him into a stall.

 

"Dean!" he hissed, aware that if he yelled someone might hear. "Put me down!" Dean held him up against the stall door, loving the feeling of his friend's knees locked over his hips. He pressed against him, feeling that he was hard too. Cas giggled and tried to get away, but wouldn't dare let go in fear of being dropped awkwardly. He wiggled in his grasp.

 

"Kiss me, come on, babe, kiss me," Dean whispered, kissing at Cas' neck on his weak spot and nibbling everywhere he could reach. He ground his hips forwards and rocked slightly, loving the hard line of Cas' arousal against his own. The image of fucking Cas like this one day, holding him up as he pounded into him, making him grip onto him tightly and cry out, popped into his head, making him groan; Cas would try to ride himself on Dean, he just knew it.

 

Cas still pushed his face the other way and whined in protest of being manhandled.

 

"Come on." Dean gently bit the other boy’s earlobe and caressed the sensitive flesh with his tongue. Cas was panting and pushing against the pressure.

 

"Fine, okay," Cas gasped. "You win, you win!" He stopped fighting against the older boy and relaxed in his arms, pressing wet kisses along Dean's jaw until he reached his lips. Dean moaned at the sensation, slowly releasing Cas’ legs, allowing him to stand.

 

"I was so hard earlier,” Dean whispered, his hands coming up to frame Cas’ face, “and you left me. How are you gonna make it up to me?" he teased, sucking on Cas' lip.

 

"Dean, we have to get back, they'll know what we're doing," he whispered.

 

"No they won't."

 

"Are you going to risk that? Bobby was eighteen once, he's not stupid."

 

Damn, cock blocked again.

 

"Fine but you owe me, Novak, that's twice you've given me blue balls."

 

"I'm sorry, call me tonight, okay? We'll have some fun." He grinned at the taller boy, staring  up into his eyes. Now that did sound fun, maybe Cas would send another picture to add to his spank bank?

 

"Okay." He let Cas kiss him again, pressing himself up against Dean.

 

"Why am I so addicted to you?" Dean groaned. Fuck, Cas couldn't just say stuff like that. Finally stepping away he kissed him once more on the cheek and let Cas move from the door.  "Scram, I can't get rid of my boner if you're looking at me."

 

Cas smiled and, opening the door, he blatantly stared at the clear tent in Dean's jeans.

 

"Think awful thoughts... like Crowley in a tutu."

 

"Erg! Cas, what the hell?!"

 


	19. Chapter Nine - Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by [ladynyra](http://ladynyra.tumblr.com/)

They dropped the Novaks home around eight o’clock, they had been laughing and joking in the car and Dean was sorry to see them go. 

“I approve,” Bobby said, pretending to be reading the back of a tape as he rode shotgun, as they pulled out of the drive.

“What?” Sam and Dean asked in unison. He shrugged and then smiled at Dean before slipping the disk in. Slowly it dawned on Dean what Bobby might be talking about and took a deep, calming breath. He hoped it was what he thought. 

Bobby approved and he felt a weight lift off him.

“What, Bobby? You approve of what?” Sam was sat in the middle seat in the back and leaning forward to try and get their uncles attention.

“Nothing. Sit back, idjit,” he snapped. Sam started complaining like the whiney little girl that he was but Dean didn’t care because Bobby said he approved! 

*

Checking his phone every few minutes to check if he could escape without rousing suspicion, he lost spectacularly at Black Ops; Sammy crowed over his victory, making Dean rough-house the little bastard, which distracted him from thinking of Cas for a few minutes. His phone chimed and he let his little brother go to get it, but was disappointed to see it was simply a network message. He paused over his phone for a moment, wondering what Cas had planned for their ‘fun’ later. And why the fuck was time going so slowly? 

Sam beat him again on Team Death Match, distracted as he was by ‘what ifs’ and ‘perhaps’’ so he ensured he left his rapidly growing brother with a dead leg before he jumped up the stairs two at a time and hit the shower for a quick wash. He dove into bed, as soon as he was out to avoid the chilly room, his phone on charge and set to vibrate, waiting for the call that he knew would come. Cas had promised to make it worth his while tonight. He couldn’t wait to hear his voice, there was something exciting about the way he whispered down the phone, the way he moaned and those broken gasps… Oh. 

He licked his lips and trailed his hands down his chest, brushing over his nipple that Cas had teased earlier; that had been... different. Good, but different. His left hand traced over it as he reflected upon the sensations Cas had stirred in him; it grew hard, peaking and the nerve endings exploded under his touch, surprising him. He moaned at the feeling, his cock straining against his underwear and his other hand drifted slowly, teasingly, down his hot body towards the aching throb resting there. 

His fingers brushed the elastic of his briefs as he let his mind wander; he was back against his bedroom door, except this time Cas was naked. He shoved Dean against the door, his dick rubbing against the wood, his hands scrambling for purchase as Cas pressed against him, mouthing his neck, fingers teasing his nipples as his dick pushed against Dean’s ass. It pushed against his hole, teasing as the head caught slightly on the rim, before is slipped up, leaving a trail of Cas’ hot pre-cum along his skin. 

Dean bit his lip trying to suppress a moan, knowing what the reality felt like, remembering the ghosting sensations of Cas hard, hot length moving against him; how he had unloaded spurt after spurt on him, in him… he couldn’t stop thinking about it. They’d get him so wet, Cas would slide down his body, his hands brushing his hips, pulling his ass out towards him slightly, before his hands continued down to the globes of his ass. His mouth kissed each cheek, nipping and biting softly, as he moved towards his goal. 

Dean slipped his hand under the waistband of his underwear and circled his dick, slowly pumping up and down the length at his dirty vision

Cas’ hands would push his cheeks apart, his tongue sliding down, finding his hole and circling it; slowly lapping, making Dean beg him for more. He bit his lip, moaning unabashedly ‘please’ and ‘more’, but unable to specify what he wanted, as fear fought a losing battle against wanting. 

Cas’ tongue trailing up his spine, up to his ear, his breath hot against his neck as he asked him what he wanted; his mouth nibbling at his lobe, as he rubbed his dick against him, Dean pressing back unashamedly against him, silently seeking what he wanted, what he needed. Cas finally acquiesced and pushed his throbbing cock against his asshole, opening him slowly as Dean relaxed, welcoming the intrusion with a groan.

Fuck. The desperation and the need, the hunger to be filled, and here he was lying alone in bed, waiting for his… friend to call. God, he felt empty. He could feel his body’s reaction to his arousal, the tensing and clenching of the muscles in his ass as he rocked minutely. His cock was throbbing and he let go, he sat up, glancing self-consciously towards the door, that, even in the dim light, he could see was locked.

Oh, God. Was he really going to do this? It felt like a huge step, but his body was actually begging for it. He felt both nervous and exhilarated. The thrill of doing something new, something… wrong? No, not wrong, this was something Cas did, and if he could do it then Dean could too. And the idea of telling him, that he had fingered himself and thought about fucking himself back on Cas’ dick only heightened the nervous excitement he felt. He slipped his hand down, past his straining cock, over his balls, squeezing them slightly before inching them lower towards-

His pillow hummed causing him to jump, his hands flying away from himself, his face flushing hot with embarrassment and shame – what if he had been caught? He sighed with relief when he realised it was just his phone. 

Cas  
Received 21:22   
Wish you were here x  
There was a photo attached.

Cas was in the shower; one hand placed flat against the tiled wall, the other buried in his hair, slicking back the dark wet locks. His legs parted slightly, rivets of water running over the expanse of his skin. There was stubble across his jaw and down his neck. He shivered in delight. The way Cas was standing, his neck bared, he could see the bite, bright and purple, against the natural shade of his skin. He let his fingers dance over his own bite. He stared at Cas’ chest, at his hard nipples and down his stomach, he was by no means muscled, but he was lightly toned and his hip bones sharp. He promised himself he would bite them next time he got the chance nibble them and then suck them, lavish the length of them with his tongue... his hand moved over his dick again, stroking it as he thought of pinning Cas’ hips down as he focused such attention on them as his friend writhed on the bed, desperate for attention elsewhere.

He took in the rest of Cas, his eyes hungry for the other youth. Cas was not particularly hairy, he had a light dusting across his chest and a happy trail leading from his bellybutton down towards… a neatly trimmed patch of pubic hair! Dean nearly choked. Cas’ cock looked larger than this morning because of said trimming; it stood hard, curling up to his stomach and he swore there were beads of precome on the head. Dean groaned, gripping the base of his own dick to stop himself coming. Fuck, he thought, Cas’ dick that was just begging to be sucked or impaled on something… 

He let go of his dick and played with his balls, gently rolling them and pressing against them with the palm of his hand. He slowly bought his fingers of his other hand to his mouth, coating them in his saliva before trailing them down his heated flesh, down his stomach and over his straining erection…. He rubbed over the puckered flesh lightly, rubbing the wetness around. It was very anticlimactic, he wasn’t expecting fireworks but this felt fine, it wasn’t scary at all! It was just like touching any other part of his body, it felt pleasant so he carried on rubbing over it, feeling the heat under his fingertips. 

Right, relax.

He sank back into the sheets and used his other hand to start and play with the sensitive head of his cock and rubbed both places in sync. Wow, that really made a difference, the two sensations differed but complimented each other, adding fuel to the fire and amplifying what he was experiencing. 

His ass started to twitch under touch, his hips rocking with the double stimulation. He could feel himself starting to heat up, his skin becoming sticky as his breath quickened. He pressed harder against his ass, and hummed in delight as he felt his hole flutter against his finger. He pressed another digit against it, starting to slowly grind his hips against the pressure, steadily pushing the two daringly against the sensitive muscle and gasping at the surprising sensation that followed.

He stilled the hand on his cock, holding it loosely in his fist as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, trying and failing to hold back a moan from touching himself this way. 

He hastily spat into his left hand again, eager to continue but not feeling wet enough. He kicked the duvet off, frustrated, it was too hot. He got comfortable again and slowly pushed the tips of his fingers inside himself. He was burning hot inside, he didn’t feel any different to what he expected, girls felt like this inside except he was much tighter than anyone he had ever touched, though he was sure that was down to the changed anatomy and nothing else. He pressed in further but felt his muscles clamp tight at the intrusion, he pulled his fingers out slowly and gasped, stilled himself, willing himself to relax. He rubbed at the rim again before he tried again, slowly inching them back inside. It tingled. He didn’t move too quickly, he didn’t dare, he took a deep breath and stroked his dick slowly as he felt himself start to go a bit soft, he had startled himself, that’s all.

When Dean’s palm finally was rested against his ass, a thrill of pleasure ran through him, it was really, really weird but it was good. If he was honest, now he had relaxed it didn’t really feel like much of anything. He figured the difficult part was over and it could only get better from here. He concentrated on his dick, jerking himself enough that it made him rock lightly into his hand but not enough that it would go anywhere. 

As he felt the steady thrum of pleasure twisting in his gut and inside him, little sparks of pleasure curled in a place he didn’t know existed and a strong yearning overtook Dean. Without realising it he had been pumping his fingers in and out of his ass a hell of a lot quicker than he was previously comfortable with. He let go of his dick and realised that the strange curl of pleasure was not from jerking off but from fingering himself. He sat up and watched, fascinated. He moaned and fell back onto the pillow. Slowly his lifted his knee to his chest, following some kind of sexual instinct and wiggled his fingers. His head thrashed to the side as his hips stuttered and his toes clenched.

Dean lay there and touched himself until he lost track of time and his reality came one big blur of fantasy and Castiel. That picture, he licked his lips at the thought, Cas had looked so sexy. Even though he had only looked at it once the image was burned behind his eyes and he retraced the memory of how he looked, Cas’ face and hair and strong arms, his thighs and his stomach and oh fuck, his cock. His mind was in a frenzy flicking back to all the times he had seen Cas open and vulnerable like that, stripping himself and showing Dean something he hadn’t wanted to share with anyone else. He remembered sitting in his lap and grinding into him in the back of the impala, the memory of how they rocked together making his breath hitch. Would it be like that? Would Cas grip him so desperately and kiss him like he was the most important person in the world? Oh fuck, he would, he’d scratch his stubble down Dean’s face and devour his neck and thrust up deep into him. And Dean would be a mess, rocking himself down onto Cas’ dick and he would be so full. And Cas would grip his hand and hold it so tight and his eyes would be so blue. He was thinking things that hadn’t even crossed his mind before but he let his body’s needs lead him. 

His eyes flew open when a light illuminated brightly to the right of him and his phone vibrated insistently. Fuck, he glanced towards it, it was Cas. He squinted at the bright light as he picked it up with his free hand, he hadn’t realised they had been closed for so long. When he noticed the time he was shocked, it had been almost half an hour since Cas had sent him that text. He swiped the touch screen to answer and bought it to his ear.

“Hi, Cas.” He tried to make his voice sound as normal as possible, he was far too conscious at the fact he had his fingers in his ass. It was actually a little bit uncomfortable now he thought about it, he was so lost in the motion that he had forgot to spit for a while, he didn’t want to do it right now because Cas might hear him. It was still too good to stop.

"Hello, Dean, did you get my photo?" he asked cheekily, Dean could hear his smile.

"Yes you fucking bastard, I-" he gasped and groaned softly and forced his hand to still, it was hard to stop the motion now he had got into a rhythm. The feeling was very addictive. His eyes flicked behind his eyelids as he imaged Cas fingering him, he wanted it bad, wanted him to shove up against him and fuck into him until he came untouched. His moved his fingers inside himself again.

"Are you alright?" Dean stilled and realised what he was doing, he debated stopping but he couldn’t, his mind and body screaming for him to carry on. Cas sounded a little concerned.

"Ah ah." He tried to concentrate on what Castiel was saying but nothing felt real after being in a daze for so long. "Yeah I'm so good, I just..."

"Did you like it?" he asked, he sounded nervous.

"You look so hot baby, I miss you, wanna touch you so bad," he admitted and he did, he missed him, the feel of him and the taste of his lips.

"Well..." He spoke slowly, his voice sounding partially wrecked already. "I’m still naked and spread on my bed, I'm so hard, Dean, I didn't touch my cock in the shower I thought you could give me a hand?" 

Dean closed his eyes as desire coursed through him, the thought of Cas laying spread on his bed, he felt a pearl of precome drip from his dick and he let out a shaky breath.

"Mmmmm, that sounds amazing. I'd do anything for you baby," he panted, pressing his thumb against the slit of his throbbing cock, rubbing the wetness around. 

"Are you... Are you already touching yourself?"

"Yeah," he whispered, his mouth felt dry and he licked his lips.

"God that's... Will you tell me what you’re doing?"

"I'm erm..." He stumbled over his words and his face burned, did he really want to tell Cas? He knew had been thinking about telling him but doing it was a big step. 

"Dean?"

"I'm fingering myself," he whispered, not daring to speak any louder. The intake of Cas breath was loud as he gasped and then the line went silent. He wondered if he had crossed some kind if invisible line. "Cas?"

"Are you really doing that? Touching your ass?"

"... Yeah." He whimpered and twisted his finger. "I was thinking about today and it just happened. It feels so good, I can't stop, it’s so hot inside and-" Cas moaned loudly and cut off what he was saying.

"I wish I could see you, I bet you look amazing. How many fingers do you have inside?"

"Two..."  
"Mmmm. I bet you’re so tight, I want you to get nice and wet and put another finger inside okay?" Dean nodded before he remembered Cas couldn't see him. He hummed in agreement and spat into his hand again, smeared it over himself and then pushed them back inside, he could easily push inside now with no resistance. “Did you find your prostate yet? I want you to find it and play with it."

"I don't really know what I'm doing to be honest. How do I know if I've found it?" he asked, he spat into his hand again, he felt like he wasn’t slick enough.

"Oh, you'll know." Cas laughed softly. Dean pressed in deeper and squirmed, frustrated, it felt good but it just wasn't...

"It's feels a bit uncomfortable, it's good but... It's... I don’t know?"

"Are you relaxed? You have to relax properly."

"I am but I feel like I'm not wet enough."

"What are you using for a lubricant, please tell me you’re using something?" Dean would have rolled his eyes if he felt like his dick wasn’t going to explode. He wasn’t that stupid.

"Spit," he answered. Cas went quiet for a while.

"Mmmm, that's not good enough for the first time, it dries out too quickly, you'll feel it tomorrow." Dean didn't fancy limping around tomorrow, finding an excuse for that would not be amusing and it wasn't something he planned to do. Besides, he had double gym.

"Well what can I use? I feel like I'm dying here man, I need to come, it's really frustrating." He moved his hands away from his privates and flopped his arm over his forehead annoyed. He let his leg back down, his feet pressed against the mattress comfortably.

"Do you have any lotion or moisturiser? You shouldn't use it all the time but it'll do for now." Dean sat up, the room spinning slightly in his aroused haze. He didn't care what the fuck he used as long as he could get off, now he had started his he couldn't stop half way and give up. His ass was still begging to be filled and the urge was too demanding to ignore.

"Erm, I think so." Sam had bought him a bath gift set for his birthday that year and he hadn't opened it. He was sure there was some organic crap in here that might do the job. He just couldn't remember where he had seen it recently. He stumbled from the bed, his legs feeling weak and his hand loosely holding the phone to his ear. "There's a bath set somewhere that has some in, it's in a purple box." He muttered, talking to himself more than Cas. He started pulling open his draws one by one and cringing at how loud the wood sounded when it slid along the rails. 

"Oh, erm, that would probably work. Just make sure it's not perfumed because it'll burn like hell."

"How do you know all this crap?" He found the box and pulled open the cardboard and then took the tray out. Yep, he was sure this would do, he squinted at the label. A hundred percent natural ingredients, not tested on animals blah blah blah. It would do. He popped the cap and sniffed it. It smelled a little like aloe vera, well as long as it didn't burn he didn't give a fuck.

"I googled it."

"I found some anyway, how much should I use?" He happily crawled back into bed and got comfortable; he put Cas on the pillow next to his ear and made sure he could still hear him an then squirted some into his hand. It was cold and felt silky and a bit like cream, he rubbed it between his hands and smiled, this was perfect it was going to be so good.

"A lot, use what you think and then put some more on." 

Well, Cas was the one with experience so he was going to listen to him, he didn't want to be walking like a cowboy in the morning. He used the existing cream that coated his palms to rub up and down his dick.

"Oh," he moaned, he had never used any kind of lube while wanking apart from the occasional time he was still a bit soapy in the shower, but that was nothing like this. This was smooth and much, much better. He would definitely be investing in some real lube if hand cream felt this good.

"Does it feel nice? What are you doing?" Cas whispered, his voice still rough.

"Stroking my dick," he whispered back.

"I want you to tease your ass while you jerk off, get your hole nice and wet with the lotion and just tease it, don't go inside, just rub until you can feel yourself opening up." 

"Uh huh." He nodded and put some more of the cream onto his hand, he spread his legs and wiped the lotion all over the crack of his arse, over his perineum and then to his rim. It was really cold but as he continued to rub it quickly warmed up. 

"Are you doing it?" Cas' breath was ragged and he wondered if he was jerking it or if he was fingering himself too. He wanted to know but he didn't ask, he was too wrapped up in the feeling of touching himself. 

“Yeah, I am.” It felt like… more, with the lube, he was more sensitive and he did as he was told, teased himself until he was pushing back against his finger. He whimpered and pushed inside, unable to hold back any longer. He squirmed in discomfort, it just wasn’t enough and now he was slicker than before the friction was less.

"Fuck yes. Let me hear you, Dean, what are you doing?"

“I need more, gonna put another finger in my ass,” he mumbled and lifted his knee again. “Do you wanna watch Cas? Watch me finger myself and think about you?” The words were out before his brain could tell him no but Dean was past caring. He was steadily working another finger inside himself and finding that he loved the feeling of his hole stretching. He couldn’t stop his breath from hitching he speeding up, adrenaline flooding through him. It was so hot in his room, he could feel himself start to sweat. He was back to thinking about how it felt when the blunt head of Cas’ dick had been pressed against him.

“Really? What, like a picture?” Cas gasped and Dean could tell by his voice that he had said something right.

“Sure why not? You sent me one, I need to hang up though, I’ll call you back.”

“O-okay,” Cas stuttered and then the line went dead.

Dean wasted no time, he opened the app on his phone and pointed the camera at himself and then idea struck him and instead of taking a photo he hit record. He slowly panned the camera downwards, showing his pecs, his stomach and down to his swollen cock. He thought back to the first time he had done this, sent something naughty to Cas, how self-conscious he had been but now his cock grew impossibly harder at the thought of Cas watching him. The angle of the phone was slightly odd but it didn’t matter, he opened his legs and used one hand to spread his ass, holding one of his cheeks so he could show Cas his greedy hole. He massaged around the entrance, and then over the sensitive skin, his breath shaky at the little shocks of pleasure running through him. He hesitated before he slowly slipped a finger inside, up to the second knuckle and massaged the skin, steadily pushing in and out. He moaned quietly. He felt tight around his finger and he could feel his hole flutter but he knew he could take more again, now he had tasted it he needed more, one finger was not enough, he pushed inside deeper, his dick was dripping in arousal. The speed he fucked himself quickening as he lost himself in the strange sensation. It quickly became addictive. 

The seconds ticked by but Dean hadn’t noticed, he was groaning softly, his knee pulled all the way to chest and his fingers pushing deeper into his asshole. He held back the sound, feeling slightly suffocated because he couldn’t make the noise he wanted to, he was whimpering and chewed at his lips.

It felt really, really good.

When he thought he had shown enough, he flipped the camera to his face, grinning cheekily before clicking the record button for it to stop. He played it to himself a few times, unsure if he wanted to send it. He was fascinated at the sight of him fingering himself, strangely aroused. He wondered what Cas would think of his video, he hoped he liked it, that he would keep it and watch it when he wanked. He triple checked he had attached it to Cas and pressed send, quite smug in the thought of how surprised his friend would be. He didn’t call yet so Cas would have time to watch the footage, he dropped his phone and slipped his fingers back inside himself, twisting them and thrusting in deep, desperately searching inside for his sweet spot.

He unintentionally moaned loudly when he found it, his head thrashing back into the pillows and his dick dripping.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, and then pressed his fingers desperately against the same spot, knocking any remaining sense out of him. He needed to keep rubbing there, the heat in his stomach was building and making him tingle from head to toe. It was so different to anything he had felt before, jerking wasn’t like this, this was a completely different kind of pleasure and he wondered why he had never tried this before. This was amazing, it felt… it felt- His phone rang and he scrambled to get it.

“Hey,” he panted into the phone, he bit into his lip hard to try and stop the sounds that were threatening to fall out of his mouth. He couldn’t help it, it felt so good. “Cas,” he keened, his voice desperate, he wished Cas was really here, that it was his fingers inside him. He pushed more insistently inside and his hips were steady grinding into the sensation.

"Dean, my God, I can’t- I-“ Cas’ voice had that desperate whine that Dean had come to love and it went straight to his dick. Even though he wasn’t touching himself there he could still feel himself throbbing, the ache from his cock was a welcome feeling, he wondered what it would feel like with Cas’ fingers inside him and him sucking his dick at the same time, he was sure that he wouldn’t last very long but it would be worth it. Cas’ mouth was sinful.

“Did you like watching me fuck myself, baby? Wish it was you, I want you to fuck me with your fingers.”

“Dean…” he gasped. He sounded on the edge and he knew that he was masturbating as well.

“I wanna touch you so bad, Dean. I think about it all the time." He whimpered as he spoke, the words were laboured and he was breathing heavy down the phone again, making the speaker rattle, but he didn’t care. It just made him aware that Cas wasn’t holding the phone any more, that he was doing something with both of his hands.

"Please, fuck, I can't stop thinking about you. I want your dick rubbing against my hole again. Castiel I just- I can’t stop thinking about how it felt, it was so hot, baby."

"You want me to do that again?" He sounded surprised, a little moan tumbling from his lips after he said it. 

"Yeah, I need it.” He was chewing his lips raw. “I need your cock so bad, Cas, wanna feel you against me."

"You were so hot and tight, wanted to push inside you and fuck you," Hesaid and Dean writhed at the admission. Fuck! He could picture it as clear as day. He pulled his fingers out and scrambled to squirt some more lotion on them.

"You did?"

"Huh, yeah, it took so much control. You were grinding back against me so hard it was so tempting to just press forward." Dean’s hand was trembling as he pushed three fingers insistently inside and he cried out, unable to keep quiet at the delicious feeling of the stretch. He concentrated on slowly fucking them into himself, imaging it was Cas’ dick.

"Oh," he breathed, unable to say anything else.

"I never really thought about it until then, it was always the other way around, but now I want to so bad. Would you let me?" Dean caught any sound before it could escape as he pressed over his sweet spot, he spread his legs impossibly wider and plunged his fingers in harder at that same angle.

"You wanna fuck me?" he breathed, meeting the thrusts of his fingers half way, practically fucking himself on them.

"Am I allowed?" 

Is he allowed? Cas was seriously asking permission? Fuck yes, if he turned up on his doorstep and wanted to fuck him right now he would beg for it like the fucking shameless slut he had been reduced to when it came to Cas.

"Yeah, I want you fucking me right now, I’ve got three fingers in my ass and I wish it was you."

"Come on, Dean fuck yourself deeper, bet you’d love the feeling of me fingering you. You'd beg for my cock wouldn't you, you dirty boy." Dean shoved his face to the side, he couldn’t help the loud moan. Fuck, Cas shouldn’t say stuff like that. He was already on the edge, further past the feeling of any orgasm he had experienced. This was overwhelming and perfect and he needed-

"Please, Cas," his voice was high and desperate as he plunged three fingers messily in and out of his hole. "I need you, I need you so bad," he babbled, his hips rolling down and shoving himself onto his fingers and he twisted them slightly every time he was fully inside. He pulled all the way out until the tips of the digits reached his rim before pushing them back in and snapping his hips down. "Ah, ah, Cas, please! Promise you'll fuck me, I'll be so good for you, so good, I need you, I-"

"I'm so fucking hard, Dean, fuck, do you even know what you’re doing to me? Oh my, fuck, I'm gonna come. Dean!" he gasped urgently. "Play with your cock, come on jack yourself off while I fuck you, I want to see you come." 

It was as if Cas was right there instead of whispering into his ear, his imagination was running wild and the imagery vivid behind his eye lids. He followed the command again and let one if his legs lay flat, it gave him enough room to grab his painfully erect dick, it was so sensitive and he realised he was sobbing. He was covered in lotion and the slide easy and quick and he jerked himself quickly an expertly to get himself to completion. Before he knew what hit him he was coming and his muscles in his ass spasming around his fingers, white streaks of come painting his chest and his mouth open in a silent scream. His vision whited out and squeezed his eyes shut as he worked himself through it, he could feel it everywhere until he had to let go and gently remove his fingers, it was too much.

Dean panted harshly, his breath was burning his throat and blood soaring through his veins lightning fast. He was trembling slightly in the aftershock, his body twitching and convulsing, chest heaving as he stare up at the ceiling. His hands were sweaty and he reached for the phone, his grip loose. His eyes were wide, his lips swollen from where he was chewing on them and his mind clouded. He felt a mess. He blinked rapidly, trying to get his vision straight. 

“Dean?” Cas voice sounded distant and broken and he tried to concentrate, putting the phone back to his ear. He looked down at this body, his cock softening, his skin shiny and sticky with cooling lotion. He squirmed uncomfortably; he was not looking forward to sneaking to the bathroom like this but right now he didn’t care, he felt like he was floating.

“Aha, still here.” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat. “Just trying to breath,” he gasped out, the rise and fall of his chest slowed and the cold started to creep over his flushed skin. He jumped and pulled the duvet up in panic as he heard a bang from Sam’s room. Oops. Only then did he really realise that he was laying in his room and what he had just done had not been a dream but had actually happened. 

“Are you trying to kill me with that picture?” he muttered, rubbing his hand over his face and trying to stay awake, he needed to get clean before he passed out from exhaustion.

“Seriously, you’re asking me that? After what you did?” Dean grinned, he felt warm in the knowledge Cas had liked it.

“How did you take that picture anyway?” It was the nagging question that had been poking at him from the back of his subconscious when he had first received it.

“I used my camera, it has a timer… How did you think I did it?” Dean felt like an idiot for a moment. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Of course that was how he had done it! It wasn’t like he would have got someone else to take it! That was just stupid. He smiled in relief anyway, the nagging feeling ebbed away.

“Did you mean what you said?” Dean asked after a few moments, curious if Cas really did want to fuck him. Their conversation was slow and relaxed, neither in a hurry to get their words out. In fact, Dean had never been so relaxed in his life, he was aching in a way he didn’t know was possible but it felt good. 

Cas laughed softly in response;. “Which thing? I don’t even remember half of what I said, I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on in my life.” 

Dean’s smile faltered a little and he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t that bothered. He didn’t know why he was disappointed, Cas had just said he had never been so turned on in his life, he wasn’t sure why that wasn’t enough. He brushed it off.

Dean’s smiled faltered, “Oh, it… doesn’t matter.” He frowned before clearing his throat and quickly changing the subject – if Cas didn’t want to talk about it outside of jacking off, that was cool. They were just friends, right? Friends with benefits? Something heavy curled inside of Dean at the thought. He shook his head.

“So Bobby said something interesting to me in the car,” “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, said he approved…” He waited with baited breath for Cas’ response.

“Really?” Cas sounded pleased but- “That’s such a relief, I have to admit, I did feel like he was watching us at dinner. I felt like I was being tested…” Dean released his breath with a relieved sigh, before giving a little cough to cover it.

“Well, whatever you did, you passed, I even think he might let you stay over… I mean, if you want?” He shifted and sat up, reaching for his shirt to wipe himself down.

“Are you sure?” he sounded surprised.

“I mean, I can’t promise anything, but I’ll definitely ask,” he assured him, he really hoped Bobby would say yes. They were quiet for a while; it was comfortable, Dean looking around his room for something to wear to the bathroom without covering it in jizz and lotion. He could hear Cas moving around and running water down the phone, lucky bastard with his own bathroom.

“Um, I know we haven’t really spoken about it-” Dean’s breath caught again- “But I guess you’ve realised that I’m not allowed out. I didn’t want to tell you, I was embarrassed.” Another sigh of relief, covered by a cough; “Cas, it’s okay, I know.” “I just, I thought you were so cool and that you wouldn’t like me anymore.” That was kind of funny, Dean had been doing the same thing. He thought back to all those weeks ago when Cas had completely blown his mind in the showers and how he had thought he must have been the most popular kid in the school. He knew now that those things didn’t matter to Castiel and it made him like him all the more. “Of course, now I know you’re a complete loser--” “Thanks!” he exclaimed, a smile on his face again. The cheeky fuck.

“--I just meant that I feel like I don’t have to try and impress you anymore, I feel like you like me for me.” Dean nodded to himself, that was exactly how he felt, Cas didn’t have to do anything, he liked him for all the reasons that Cas hated himself, for the things they dare not speak about and the things that they did. And more than anything for the way Cas made him feel. 

“Duh, now come on don’t get too sloppy I might grow a vagina,” he joked, not knowing how to say what he felt.

“Yeah, then I wouldn’t like you anymore,” Cas laughed, as Dean tutted in disaproval. “Do you think it will be okay with Bobby still, I would love to stay, I could come over when my parents are away or I could sneak out?”

“It’s up to you, just don’t get in trouble,” he warned, he really didn’t like the idea of Cas being caught, he just had this feeling that he would never see him again. He understood he was being dramatic because of the way he felt but he didn’t care, he didn’t really want to take the risk but he wanted to spend time with him more. He had never been so conflicted in his life.

“I don’t care,” Cas replied.

“I’m just saying be careful.” “I’m eighteen, I should be able to go out, it’s so unfair.” He was right, Dean completely agreed with him but he didn’t want to make him feel worse. He didn’t know if there was a reason for it though, he didn’t want to ask, maybe it was a religion thing? The way they had been raised was very different, maybe Cas’ parents were just very protective? There was nothing wrong with that, he would do anything to have his dad care more about the things that mattered.

“Well, I’ll ask Bobby tomorrow, but I can’t guarantee anything.” “Thank you, I enjoy your family’s company; thanks for inviting me today.” “That was really down to Ellen and Bobby but I don’t mind taking the credit.” He found some pyjama bottoms and pulled them on, he would have to get up early to change his sheets anyway, it wasn’t sly at all, how embarrassing.

“Right, I’m falling asleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Cas yawned, the background noise had stopped but Dean could hear him turning in bed. He wished he was there. It would be nice to see Cas again tomorrow after school, but he wasn’t sure what his friend would be doing and he had work so...

“Do you- do you know when they’re back, I was just wondering if you wanted to meet me after work tomorrow?” Dean decided to risk asking.

“They’re back in the morning, I’ll see what I can do. I have to go, goodnight, Dean.” 

Cas didn’t give him a chance to reply. He stared down at his screensaver hoping that he hadn’t upset him. He chucked his phone on the bed and decided he would sort it tomorrow. Right now he had to ninja to the bathroom before he fell asleep. 

Challenge accepted.


	20. Chapter Ten - Part One

On Tuesday mornings Dean had English first lesson, he was over the moon when the essay that was dropped onto his desk had a big A- across the front in red marker. He had never had an A before, his grades weren’t poor, he was a C average. He had never really tried at school, he cruised his way through, he didn’t particularly enjoy going to school but he didn’t dislike it either. Being friends with Cas had been a big help for him, he always encouraged him to do well and explained the things he struggled with in a way that didn’t make him feel incompetent. He found his grades we’re slowly raising and it was sure it was down to him. He paid attention more in classes and got more involved which he thought had been a confidence thing before, he was always doubting himself but he was doing that less and less at school, something had obviously changed. But even though he was getting better grades than at his old school, it hadn’t been by much and he was genuinely surprised that he had managed to get such a high grade. He couldn’t wait to show Cas, he was going to be so pleased when he told him. The grinned all the way through his lesson and was going to race to chemistry because Cas queued in the same corridor as him but was caught by his teacher just as he was about to run out.

 

“Mr. Winchester, stay for five minutes, please?” He tensed up, oh no, what had he done wrong now? Maybe she had given him the wrong grade and was going to take it back. He knew he would never get an A. He walked to the desk stiffly and forced a smile as she closed the door behind them.

 

“Did you ever think of writing for a living, Dean?” He stared at her confused. “You have a lot of potential, the staff in the English department all read your story and we were very impressed. So far this is the first thing you have shown to excel in since you started in September.” His mind had went a bit blank, he wasn’t sure what to say.

 

“I’ve never really thought about it to be honest.” He admitted, this was certainly a turn of events.

 

“Have you selected your college yet? There are a lot of places who would give you a scholarship. I could help you with your application.” She offered.

 

“I erm, I’m not going to college, I want to be a mechanic.” He shifted uncomfortably. He had planned to carry on working for Bobby, he liked it there and he loved working with cars.

 

“Oh, well it’s good to keep your options open, have a think about it. Just keep in mind, your other grades need a bit of a boost but if you work hard for it then you’re more than capable.” She smiled at him and he glanced towards the door, eager to get to Chem. She nodded and dismissed him.

  
“Thanks Miss, I’ll think about it.” Like hell he would, what type of job is that, writing? His dad would laugh in his face. He tried not to think about it, he had never even considered that could be a possibility, that was a bit girly though, he didn’t think he could do something like journalism, he would be bored to death.

 

He hurried down to his next lesson but he didn’t get to see Cas, by the time he arrived both classes were in and he was forced to go inside. In fact, he didn’t see Cas all day, he checked the library at break and lunch but he wasn’t there.

 

At the end of the day it was his trench coat caught his attention, why he was wearing it he didn’t know, it was boiling today. He looked like he was in a mood, he tried to catch up to him but the corridors were too crowded because everyone was leaving. He sighed and decided to just text him to see what he was up to later.

 

Sam was waiting at the car, Cas’ car was not in sight. He didn’t really want to go to work, not after he had such a good night last night but he forced himself to drive home to get changed. He had shoved his laundry in the machine this morning so the wash would be more than finished by now, he hung them in the garden since it was such a nice day. He then bitched at Sam for ten minutes because he was taking his damn time upstairs. He texted Cas while he was waiting, not wanting to forget.

 

**I missed you today! What happened? Can I see you later? Btw last night was amazing, hope you are okay. X**

He didn’t really expect a text back and he didn’t get one, he soon realised he wouldn’t be getting a phone call until before bed. He was disappointed but didn’t let it bother him, he could see him another day.

 

They got the garage by a quarter to four, once he was up the drive he was surprised to see there were several cars outside and all the warehouses were open, it looked like Bobby was having an audit. They climbed out the car, Dean spent some time winding the windows down to keep the heat out the car.

 

“I’m glad you two are here, Sam, I need you in the office and Dean, can you get to work on these? The files are in the cars.” Straight to work? He didn’t mind so much. He could use the distraction; his mind felt like it was working overtime. Earlier he had though he wouldn’t be bothered by the possibility of going to college but he now the opportunity was there he didn’t want to leave it alone. He had never even thought it was part of his options, he didn’t know why, maybe he just wasn’t smart enough.

 

“Where’s Rufus?” He asked, surely if Bobby was so busy they could do with another pair of hands. He wanted to talk to him about this college thing and if they were too busy they wouldn’t get the chance, he could always ask him at home but he didn’t like bothering Bobby when he was having his down time.

 

“He just left, we’ve done most the hard work, those cars are minor work but it might be messy, I just needed them out the way for the inventory, Sam ‘ere will have it done in no time.” Bobby explained, passing him a tool box. He nodded and Sam went straight to the office, he would have the audit done in a couple of hours at the most.

 

He stared at the cars, there were six in total, Dean whizzed through the first three but the others were a bit more complex and working in the heat was difficult. He could really do with a hand, he tried to figure what he needed to do for the next one but he wasn’t sure that what the MOT had said was right, it didn’t make sense. And he was spending more time thinking about what Bobby would think if he went to college than actually concentrating. He went inside to get some water and have a think. He peered into the open door; Sam was sat on the floor of the office filing paperwork.

 

“No, Bobby, do it like this, it’s just easier.” Sam scolded, grabbing a folder of papers off him. He had the laptop next time him and was tallying something on the system. “Can you just get the rest of the files?”

 

“Okay, okay!”  He left the office to grab some more things from the shelves; Dean followed him hoping to talk to him. “You okay?” Bobby paused and held a box under his arm. Dean nodded quickly. “You’re quiet, do you need a hand, are you stuck?”

 

“Erm, some help with this car would be great,” Bobby put his box back down. “Why didn’t you say?”

 

“Well, what about Sam?”

 

“I think I’m doing more harm than good.” He admitted, “Sam, I’ll be back in a sec. Sup Dean?” He walked outside into the sun and gave Dean his full attention.

 

“This car, the Lexus, it doesn’t make sense.” Bobby grabbed the file where Dean had left in on the trunk and went over to the open hood and peered inside. “I think you’re right, why have I even wrote that, God, I’m getting old. Good job you have initiative. Well done. You okay now that you know I’m wrong?” He handed him the folder back, Dean nodded.

 

“I think so, I need to rewrite this, right?”

 

“Yep, the sheets are in the office, I’ll grab you one.” He was just about to leave but Dean gathered enough nerve to grab his arm.

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” he blurted out and Bobby turned to face him, waiting. “I erm, two things, I got an A in English, my teacher was asking me about colleges and stuff.” He wasn’t sure how to broach the subject so he just dived straight in there. “She was asking about if I wanted to write for a career, said I had potential... or something.” He tried to shrug it off and pretend he wasn’t bothered.

 

“College? Well, good for you, Dean!” He clapped him on the back, grinning ear to ear.

 

“It’s just, I always thought I’d stay here and work for you, I’d love to be a mechanic.” Bobby gestured for him to sit down, they sat on the hood together.

 

“Dean, the garage isn’t going anywhere. You could always go to college and then if you don’t like it then you can change your mind, there will always be a job here for you. You’re a good worker. And if you’re worrying about money don’t bother, your dad has a college fund for you and Sam.”

 

“She actually mentioned something about scholarships, I kind of brushed her off but I’ve been thinking about it while I was working. I shouldn’t just forget about it, right?” He was thinking that he didn’t necessarily have to do something to do with writing, if he had a college fund then that had opened him up to a world of possibilities, he could do anything he wanted providing he got the right grades.

 

“No, you think about it and I’ll support you with whatever you want to do. Maybe you could ask Cas about it? I’m sure he’s going to college, he could help you with your options.” He hadn’t even thought about that, he wanted to tell Cas about his A but he had forgotten that he would probably have all the nearby colleges memorised. He could give him heaps of advice, he was so busy thinking about how cute Cas was that it had slipped his mind he was insanely informed about these things.

 

Oh yeah, Cas, he had promised.

 

“Yeah, erm, about Cas, I don’t want to push my luck but I was wondering about him coming over?” He was nervous asking, too worried about what Bobby’s reaction would be. And he was worried about Cas, he hadn’t seen him all day. After last night he had been hoping to spend loads of time with him, he felt somehow closer to him but he felt like he was being given the cold shoulder. He knew he wasn’t, Cas must have buried himself in work again. It tended to happen when his parents were home.

 

“He comes over all the time, he’s always welcome.” Bobby replied, pushing up from the car and looking at him like he was stupid.

 

“I mean to stay, like overnight. I don’t want to assume and make you uncomfortable.” He stared at the ground as he spoke and drew patterns in the dry dirt with his shoe.

 

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” He sounded confused by what he had said, that was a good sign.

 

He perked up. “So he can stay?”

 

“Sure but I’m gonna have to turn a blind eye, I imagine his folks wouldn’t be too happy. Don’t tell me then I won’t have to lie about it. I don’t want his parents at my door.” That is why he loved Bobby, he was fucking awesome.

 

“Really, are you sure?” His smile was back. How the hell was Bobby so cool with this?

 

“Sure, but no funny business around the house.” He warned, looking at him pointedly as if to say he knew exactly what they would be getting up to.

 

“I wouldn’t, I promise we’ll be good.” He was quick to reassure, he didn’t want him to change his mind.

 

“Well, keep it in your room, I put a lock on your door for a reason, use it.” He nodded enthusiastically, freaking hell, he had practically give them permission to... well.

 

“So, say this weekend?” He pushed, making sure he had understood perfectly clear.

 

“I’ll be mostly busy, if you chose to eat in your room and avoid me then that’s up to you.”

 

“...Okay?”

 

“Now get back to work!”  Dean nodded and got to it.

 

**

 

An hour later Dean watched as a figure strolled up the dirt road with another guy by his side.

 

“Hey, we expecting anyone?” Bobby looked up from where he was fitting new speakers into the car Dean was changing the oil in.

 

“Huh? No, we’re closing in five anyway, Sam’s getting bored.”

 

“ There’s no way I’ll be done in five, I have paperwork, wait, it’s Cas!” Dean grinned and Bobby laughed at him.

 

“You got it bad boy.” He teased.

 

“Shuddup.”

 

“Here, pass us those key’s I just need to do a sound test.”

 

“I can’t, I’m covered in oil.” Bobby climbed out the car and fished them out of Dean’s back pocket. Dean stretched and stared down the lane, he back was hurting from bending over for so long. He listened to the buzzing from the speakers as Bobby tested each one, they sounded fine and hummed in agreement when Bobby asked him.

 

Castiel was walking up with another guy, he was tall and blond and quite slender and he looked a little bit older than them, though not by much. Cas was wearing black shorts, a plain red tee and his sneakers he wore in gym. It was strange to see him without his suit. It was a bit of surprise every time he saw him in casual clothes actually, he looked gorgeous. Mmm, those legs.

 

“Eyes back in your head, Dean.” Bobby laughed. He rolled his eyes, he hadn’t been staring, he was was just curious about the other guy. Cas was laughing at something he said. “Dean, how long are you gonna be with this car. I need to take Sam back. He’s being a pain.”

                                                                                                                                         

“He’s always a pain in the ass.” He muttered, his eyes still stuck on Cas’ smile, he watched as the other guy nudged him with his shoulder. He forced himself to look away and looked back inside the car suddenly not remembering what he was doing.

 

“Hello? How long you gonna be?” He repeated, sounding amused. Dean purposely dropped the spanner on the floor to free his hands and wiped some of the grease down his jeans.

 

“Like, twenty minutes to a half hour, just go, I’ll lock up, I have keys.” He answered with a big sigh, he wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon. He said half an hour but there was lots of little things wrong with this car, every time he thought he had found the problem, he found something else. He was making a mental tally in his head, he normally wrote it in the file but he didn’t want to get the oil everywhere. He had a bit of a fight with it earlier.

 

He glared at the guy who was making Cas laugh, him and his stupid handsome face, he looked rich. Why did he look so rich? He must be a church boy... Maybe it was that Balthar, or Barry whatever his name was that started with a B. Cas looked so happy chatting with him as they walked up.

 

“’Sup with you? Who’s the other guy?” Bobby must have noticed his change in mood. He shrugged.

 

“Dunno, obviously Cas’ friend.” He replied moodily. He knew he shouldn’t be worried but it made his stomach twist unpleasantly at the thought of Cas hanging around with attractive older men.

 

“Don’t sound too excited.” Bobby shot back sarcastically.

 

“I’m not bothered, now shhh!” He didn’t need Bobby showing him up.

 

Bobby took the hint and disappeared inside to get Sam, they finished the about audit twenty minutes ago and Bobby had been giving Dean a hand with the last jobs for the cars outside. He picked his spanner back up and pretended had hadn’t noticed Cas.

 

It was really hot out still and he was feeling kind of gross. It was a bit embarrassing, he felt like a complete grease monkey. Did he really have to show up when he looked like this? He was covered in oil, it was on his hands and wrists, even in his hair and his shirt was a mess. He was all sweaty from working outside in the beating sun. He looked down and realised how awful he looked. Without thinking he pulled his shirt over his head and wiped down his abs, smudges of oil smearing but mostly wiping off his sweaty skin. He wiped his hands on it too and let it drop to the floor.

 

“Bobby! Get me a soda!” He yelled and then turned around, noticing Cas stood a few feet away. “Oh hey, Cas!” He was smiling still and blushing at his friend who had said something under his breath. He tried not to frown. “Who’s your friend?”

 

“Dean, this is Balthazar, Bas this is my best friend Dean.” The blond guy thrust his hand out at Dean ready to shake it.

 

“Hello.” Wow, he had a weird accent. He definitely wasn’t American, he sounded kind of posh and mostly English but he might be wrong, he had never been brilliant with accents.

 

“Sorry mate, don’t want to cover you in oil.” He explained, gesturing to the mess.

 

“It’s quite alright.” He smiled awkwardly. Yep, definitely English. Dean turned to Cas.

 

“So, what brings you down here?” Castiel smiled and held up his satchel and then leant back against the side of one of the cars, crossing his legs at the bottom.

 

“I thought we could go to the lakes, it so nice out, I bought a picnic.” Dean glanced towards Balthazar, the lakes were their thing, he didn’t want to go there with that British douche.

 

“Well, guess I’ll be off then, have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Balthazar announced overly cheerful. Castiel rolled his eyes.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I’ll call you to give you heads up if need be.” He said, placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

 

“Thanks Balthazar, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“See ya, Cassy.” Dean held up his hand in parting politely and watched him walk back down the drive. Dean sat on the ledge of the car and raised an eyebrow at Cas.

 

“Cassy? You let him call you Cassy?” He shrugged.

 

“I told him you called me Cas, it came from that I think.” Dean frowned, he had liked that he was the only one who had a nickname for him. He bit his tongue, he didn’t want to make a fuss about it, he would sound like a dick. He had only known Cas for just over a month and he had no idea how long he had been friends with Balthazar or ‘Bas’. He was glad he had gone home anyway. He was weird, he didn’t seem like the type of person Dean would hang out with.

 

“Hey, boy! How you doing?” Bobby barked as he came outside and  spotted Cas, he was carrying a big box from the store room , Sam followed him with another and they opened the trunk of his truck. They dumped the boxes inside. Looks like they were going to archive some of the stuff at home, they were probably old files.

 

“Hello, Mr. Singer. I am very well, thank you.” He smiled politely. “Hello, Sam.”

 

“Hey Castiel, bye Castiel!” He laughed and climbed into the truck.

 

“We’re heading home now, you sure you can finish here?” Bobby asked as he climbed in as well. Dean nodded and Cas waved to them as they drove off.

 

“So, lakes? I bought stuff.”  He smiled. Dean nodded and wiped his hand across his forehead to get rid of the sweat, it was really too hot for the October.

 

“Erm, do you mind waiting?” What a bother, he had waited to see him all day and now he needed to finish these cars. If he could just get them out the way then that would be great.

 

“Of course, I didn’t think you’d be finished for a while anyway.”

 

“So, did you study with Balthazar or something?” He asked, trying not to sound bothered, he went back to fiddling with the car.

 

“Yes, he texted me after school, I haven’t seen him for a while so...” He shrugged. Why hadn’t he texted him back then? He had made plans with Balthazar but couldn’t even give Dean a quick text back?

 

“Seems like a pretty funny guy.” He kept his eyes on the car as he spoke.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Well, you were laughing a lot, and you seemed all flushed and stuff, you don’t have a thing with him right?” Cas stared at him before he burst out laughing. He didn’t understand what was so funny, he was only asking a question. He didn’t care if he did anyway. He didn’t even know why he had asked.

 

“What are you even talking about? You jerk, of course we don’t have a thing.”

 

“Oh, I---“ Now he felt like a dick, why did he say that? Of course Balthazar didn’t have a thing with Cas, _he_ had a thing with Cas.

 

“I just thought maybe you liked him, you looked like you liked him, you were laughing with him and stuff and you looked all happy and giddy and—“ Oh my god, why couldn’t he shut up, what was even happening with his mouth?

 

“Dean, I—“

 

“Do you like me?” He spun around to face him, the question falling from his lips unintentionally.

 

“Of course I do, I wouldn’t be your friend otherwise.” He looked unsure and slightly freaked out, not understanding where this conversation was going, Dean wasn’t sure himself.

 

“No, Cas! I want you to like me more than that, I want you to like me the way I like you. Cas, I’m crazy about you.” He stepped towards him unsurely, his mouth had just exploded a load of crap. What was wrong with him? Now he couldn’t take it back, all because he was jealous. He might have ruined everything. “Say something, I’m baring my soul here.” He demanded, he was frustrated. Cas had ignored him all day and then turned up laughing with that British guy, what was he supposed to think?

 

“Dean, I like you, as more than a friend, only you. The reason I was laughing was because he was teasing me, he knows I like you, he figured it out and insisted he walk here so he could ogle you. Then he proceeded to say the most indecent things that he things I should do to you. I was flushed because it’s fucking hot out and you’re stood there topless, all dirty and sweaty and I’m only human. I have a boner right now; it’s why I sat down.” Dean stared in surprise, he was speechless after that. “What’s this really about?”

 

“Nothing, it just looked like you were flirting.” He tried to brush it off, he had embarrassed himself.

 

“Am I not allowed to flirt with other people? I didn’t realise we were exclusive.” He snapped, looking annoyed.

 

“Well we’re not but...”

 

“If you want to ask me, here’s your chance.” He insisted.

 

“What?” What the hell was he even on about?

 

Cas sighed. “Fine.” He looked a bit disappointed. “Then stop being jealous, I don’t fancy Balthazar, I like you, I fancy you, I can’t give you anymore than I already have, what else can I do to prove it to you?! I gave you my first kiss, I risk being disowned to see you! I already lost one set of parents; I kind of want to hang on to these ones!” Okay, wow, this had just become really serious, how had their conversation even took this turn?

 

“I don’t want that to happen! This isn’t what this is about! Why are we even arguing?!”

 

“Because you are too chicken-shit to ask me to be your boyfriend when that is clearly what you want!” Dean huffed in annoyance and gritted his teeth. That was what he wanted but at the same time no, he didn’t want that. His feelings were complicated, he was confused, he didn’t know how to explain. “Oh, so you don’t want that? What else do you want Dean for me to prove I like you? Do you want to fuck me? Come on, let’s fuck right here, you can bend me over the car.” Cas stepped forwards and went to pull his shirt off. Okay, no, that was stupid. Dean grabbed his wrists firmly to stop him from stripping.

 

“No! Stop it, Cas!” He didn’t want this, Cas was angry with him, he wanted him to calm down but he didn’t know how to help him. He was pushing all the wrong buttons. Cas pulled his wrists back and Dean was forced to let go, he didn’t want to grab him again and annoy him more.

 

“So you don’t want to fuck me, is my virginity not good enough for you?!” Yes! He wanted to scream, yes he wanted that! He thought about it constantly and after he had fucked Cas he wanted him to flip him over and for him to have his way with Dean. He wanted nothing more than for Cas to pound into him but no, not today and not like this. His first time should be special, not in his uncle’s garage. He felt honoured Cas had even talked about them having sex at all, he wasn’t even sure how he had got someone like Cas, he was way out of his league. But he had made him feel like this, him and his big mouth, he wished he could control what he said better around him. He hated he had no filter.

 

“I didn’t say that, now you’re just putting words into my mouth! Just, calm down, I’m sorry I was jealous, I have no right.” He did have no right and realised it as soon as it was out of his mouth, Cas had just given him the chance to be his boyfriend and he still didn’t ask even though he craved it. The fear of rejection or how it would change them was just too high.

 

“I have enough people controlling me, I don’t need you doing it too.” He muttered, his eyes filling up with tears. Oh, no, now he had made him cry.

 

“I’m not going to, I’m sorry.” He grabbed him and pulled him close, panicking and not knowing what else to do. “I don’t know what I want but it’s not that, I don’t want to pressure you. I’m so sorry baby, I’m so, so sorry.” Cas latched onto him and squeezed him tight.

 

“It’s fine, I’m sorry too, I’m just stressed.” Cas took a deep breath and nuzzled into Dean’s hair.

 

They hugged for a long while, it felt like an apology, he could feel that Cas was sorry and it felt peaceful again between them. The tension and anger slowly seeped away.

 

“I didn’t see you at school.” he mumbled, “Was everything okay?” He muttered, kissing his hair.

 

“No, everything’s shit, I hate them.” He grumbled, burying his face into Dean’s shoulder.

  
“You don’t you just said you don’t want to lose them, you love them.”

 

“I know, it’s just frustrating, I hate the situation more than anything.”

 

“Well, let’s not be angry with each other, I don’t want to fight anymore. Why are we fighting?”

 

“’Cause you’re an ass.”

 

“Hah.” ... yeah, he kind of was today.

 

“Did I miss anything today then?”

 

“I got an A.” He sang, excited for Cas’ reaction.

 

“You did?!” He exclaimed, pulling away and smiling. “In what?”

 

“English, I know, I’m awesome.” He laughed and kissed him softly. “Mmm, you taste awesome.” He kissed him again.

 

“I know. So, picnic?”

 

“Yes, now let me just finish up here and then I’m all yours.” They broke apart from their hug. “Sorry, I ruined your shirt.” There was a little bit of oil smeared across it.

  
“Guess I’ll have to take it off.” He pulled it above his head and threw it to the floor close to Dean’s, staring at him like it was a challenge. He stared dumbly at the soft muscle on Cas’ arms and chest, it was as if his mind had short-circuited. Cas pulled himself up on top of Dean’s car, using the open windows to climb up and casually lay on the roof. The height of the car blocked the view from where he was bent over and he couldn’t see Cas like he wanted to, he forced himself to look away but the image was clear in his mind.

 

“You’ll burn yourself.” Was the first thing he said, but then he was thinking about kissing across his sore skin and rubbing lotion on him.

 

Wow, he was five kinds of twisted today.

 

“No, I tan easily, I’ll be brown by the time you’re done.”  Dean gulped as he watched Cas drop his sneakers, his socks and his shorts over the side of the car. Was he seriously stripping?

 

“You’ll burn yourself on the metal.” He squeaked.

 

“Nah, I like the heat.”

 

“You’re going to kill me, I’m trying to work.” How was he supposed to finish the car with him doing that?

 

“Work, I’m not stopping you.” He grinned cheekily and pulled his underwear off, he dropped them to the floor and then lay back with his hands behind his head. Dean forced his eyes back to the car, desire flaring through him. He concentrated on his task. The quicker this was done the quicker he could join him.

 

“So if your ‘rents are back how did you manage to sneak away?” He was actually pretty curious about that, it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to show up while Cas was lounging naked on the impala.

 

He was still stuck on Cas naked on the impala, he must be either delirious from the sun or he was dreaming, he glanced over. No, no, he was actually naked on the roof of his car. Dean discreetly tried to rearrange himself.

 

“I’m doing bible study at Bas’ right now, that’s why he said he’s call, he doesn’t live far from here.” Well, that was a relief.

 

“Bas and Cas, huh?” He laughed.

 

“I can’t believe you thought I liked him, he’s such a snob.”

 

“Says you?” He teased.

  
“I am not a snob, my bare ass is on some dude’s car.” He complained, flipping onto his stomach and leaning on his elbows.

 

“I was joking!”

 

“He wouldn’t lay naked on a car.” He grumbled, and Dean smiled fondly.

 

“Don’t give me that image, the one of you is nice enough, don’t spoil it.” He scolded playfully.

 

“Are you gonna join me up here after your done?” Dean glanced up, heh, why not?


	21. Chapter Ten - Part Two

It didn’t take him long to finish the car, Cas had quietened down basking in the warm sun so he quickly got on with it. After he was done he took pleasure in climbing up and joining him. He stared at him and chewed his lip as he took in the sight, he looked like he was sleeping, his expression soft and was completely relaxed. He wasn’t lying when he said he tanned easily, he was already bronze but his shoulders and chest were slightly pink. He traced a finger down his happy trail and hesitated as he reached the bottom of his stomach. He moved his hand.

 

“Wake up.” He leant down and licked his nose, he awoke sharply and jerked away, opening one eye confused as he stared at Dean.

 

“Freak.” He mumbled, sitting up and wiping his nose. “Wow, it’s really hot.” He huffed and spun around so he was lying on his stomach. He rested his head in his arms and closed his eyes again. “What time is it?”

 

“Just after six, I’m all yours I just finished.” He shuffled and pulled his jeans down, planning to kick them off. “Ow ow! How can you stand to sit on here, it’s boiling.” He pulled them back up and hissed at the warm metal as he lay down and turned onto his stomach.

 

“Baby.” Cas yawned. Dean leaned on his arms like Cas and faced him so they were snuggled close together. He didn’t rise to the banter, it just made him smile. He couldn’t believe he had been so horrible to Cas earlier, when he looked at him now he and he could see how much Cas adored him. Thank God he hadn’t fucked it up.

 

“So, do you fancy sneaking to mine this weekend?” Cas looked up and leant on his elbows, perking up from his sleepy state.

 

“Bobby said yes?”

 

“Yep, I spoke to him and he said it was fine as long as we don’t fuck around all over the house. We’ll just have to be discreet about it like we were when I stayed at yours. He doesn’t want to get involved too much so he doesn’t have to lie to your parents.”

 

“I suppose that’s understandable.” Cas twisted around again and sat up properly but as he did his hips were in line with Dean’s head.

 

“Cas, seriously, put some clothes on, it’s really distracting.” Castiel wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

 

“Fine, we should go down to the lakes.” He stretched his arms above his head trying to wake up.

 

“Let me lock up, here, you can help me get all the cars back in,” Dean hopped down. Cas followed him and pulled his clothes back on. Dean handed him the lexus keys. “This one goes in bay one.”

 

“Erg, I’m all sticky.” He complained, pulling his t-shirt away from his skin. Dean grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to Cas who took a big mouthful and gave it back.

 

“That’s what you get for sunbathing naked.” He joked.

 

“I didn’t hear you complaining.”

 

“Yes I was.” He defended but he knew Cas was just playing.

 

“Not for that reason.” Well, that much was true.

 

“Well don’t complain when you get sunburn on your dick.” He said and bought the bottle to his lips planning on finishing the bottle.

 

“I’m sure you’ll kiss it better.” Dean choked on his water and it sprayed on the floor. Cas laughed and winked at him as he sauntered off. Dean was glad to see him smiling again.

 

They locked the cars up and signed them off, and Dean filed all the paperwork properly so Sam didn’t complain. He locked the shutter and showed Cas how to set the alarm with the fob because it was easier with two people. Cas collected his bag and climbed in the front of the car.

 

They drove down to the lake, Dean signing animatedly to his favourite songs and Cas smiling like an idiot as he watched him.

 

“Are we going to where we went before?”

 

“Sure, if you want.” They pulled up close by and sat on the grass side by side, Dean left the radio on and let the music play softly in the background. Cas tipped his bag upside down and loads of containers fell out.

 

“Dunno how it will taste now, it’s been in the sun for ages.” Dean started opening the boxes, there were sandwiches and savoury snacks, crisps and grapes and strawberries amongst other things.

 

“You didn’t have to go to all this effort.” He was impressed, he was just expecting a sandwich or something, he picked one up and unwrapped it peering inside to see what it was. It was ham and lettuce. He took a big bite.

 

“It was nothing, only took a few minutes. It was no trouble.” He grabbed the other half and started munching on it and staring out at the lake. It wasn’t as warm as it had been, the clouds had blown over and there was a breeze but it was still a nice evening. There were a few people in the distance who were walking their dogs and some kids flying their kites but it was mostly empty.

 

“Oh my, this sandwich is delicious.” He moaned at the taste, it didn’t taste like a plain sandwich, he must have done something else to make it so delicious.

 

“It’s just a sandwich.” He blushed. “I erm, I bought pie as well.”

 

Dean smiled and was really touched at the gesture. “You’re an angel, I knew I kept you around for a reason.” He bumped him with his shoulder playfully and shuffled closer to him.

 

“Thank you, look, I’m sorry I was so hideous earlier.” He turned and looked at him regretfully.

 

“It’s fine, I was worse. Like you said, I shouldn’t get jealous.” He knew he was in the wrong, he shouldn’t take his confusion out on Cas.

 

“You have nothing to be jealous of, I don’t throw myself at just anyone, nobodies interested in me anyway.” He tried to shrug it off but the way he said he sounded kind of sad. He knew that wasn’t true, he doubted that Cas would notice if someone fancied him anyway, he was sure Balthazar at least had a crush on him, his body language was very flirty, but then maybe he was like that with everyone? Then on the other hand, he hadn’t even waited for Dean to say he liked him, he had just jumped in his lap and made out with him. Not like he was complaining. Cas was an attractive guy, there had to be people who were interested, that’s why he had been so paranoid earlier.

 

“That’s not true, but I’m sorry anyway, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He did but he wasn’t going to admit he was feeling insecure. Castiel knew him well enough, he must have figured that out.

 

“Is it a lot different with me?” ... What?

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, I think you’ve been with girls before, you’re not a virgin are you?” He had forgotten they hadn’t even had this conversation. He wasn’t going to lie to him about it, he had nothing to be ashamed of, even though he had experience it wasn’t a lot. He had kind of assumed Cas knew he wasn’t a virgin, the guy had admitted it pretty much straight away to Dean, he had been sure his silence in the matter had said enough.

 

“No, I had a girlfriend, her name was Cassie, it happened last year. I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends, there were a few drunken flings after that but I never slept with anyone else, just her.” Cas stared at him inquisitively and reached out to hold his hand. “I didn’t love her but it didn’t matter anyway she broke up with me shortly after.” Cas squeezed his hand. “It’s not different with you when we fool around but at the same time it’s the complete opposite to  anything I’ve experienced, it’s strange when I think about it. You feel different obviously and the mechanics are different but the act itself is the same. It feels... more when I touch you. Like the desire and the emotion and even the attraction but I think that’s just you. I feel like I would like you even if you weren’t a guy but I love that, I like the feel of you and I think you’re...” He hesitated for a second before he forced the words out. “...Gorgeous. Your voice and your hair, your smile, everything about you.” Castiel’s smile was huge and a little bashful, his cheeks flaming from the compliment.

 

“I- thank you.” He looked down at their hands and turned to face him. “It’s strange when I think about it, I never really thought that I would like a guy before. I’ve never had a girlfriend so I don’t have anything to compare to but I like what we have. I’ve never thought about guys before and I’m not attracted to any other guys but I’m definitely attracted to you. Does that make sense?” He leant his head against Dean’s shoulder as he spoke, their hands still clasped. A voice at the back of his head said they shouldn’t be so cosy in the middle of the day where anyone could see them but he ignored it in favour of picking up a strawberry and eating it, thinking about what Cas said.

 

“Yeah, I think I do like guys though, I mean I love the stuff we do together, I more turned on with you than I was with the girls I’ve been with.” Thinking back on the experiences he’d shared with Cas was kind of crazy, fuelled by lust and the desire overwhelming him. Cas was irresistible, he couldn’t keep his hands off him.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it might just be a phase.” His stomach dropped at the thought, he was probably right though. It was hormones. That’s why he was going so crazy for him, he was insatiable.

 

“Probably, ‘cause like you said I don’t like any other guys and I wouldn’t hook up with anyone else.” He had thought about it, tried to imagine a generic male but it always ended up with blue eyes staring at him in his fantasies. Girls were completely out the picture, he couldn’t possibly be any less interested at the moment.

 

“Well, I don’t know, gay, straight, bi, I’m not really bothered, it only matters who I marry I guess.” He turned and stared at him, his mouth open in surprise, was he really thinking about those things so young? That couldn’t be healthy. He thought Cas was kind of uptight sometimes, must be the religion thing. He hadn’t even come close to having that train of thought about anyone or even just for himself. He snapped his mouth shut and tried to be casual about it.

 

“So, do you want to get married?”

 

“Well, not right now, I want to go to college, travel for a bit and then settle down. If my parents have anything to say about it I’ll be going straight home. I don’t think I’d be brave enough to defy them.” Cas lay down and put his head into Dean’s lap. “Mmm, comfy.” Dean ruffled his hair and stared down at him, his eyes were so bright in the light, he had never seen eyes like them before. It had been the first thing that had attracted him to Cas. It saddened him to think that Cas was raised in a way that making in own choices made him think he was defying. He had never realised how lucky he was to have Bobby or even his Dad before he met Cas, they were very lenient. Sometimes you just took things for granted.

 

“You’d be over twenty one though.” He thought this would be a valid point, it wasn’t his place to say anymore than that.

 

“Yes but I have to respect their wishes.” Yeah, he could relate to that, he wasn’t going  to say anymore on that matter.

 

“Yeah,” He sighed. “So where would you travel? Like around America?” He threaded his fingers through Cas’ hair, petting it back out of his face. The dark haired boy fluttered his eyes closed at the sensation.

 

“All over, I want to see Tokyo and London and Sydney, maybe go to LA and New York.”

 

“Hey erm, do you have your college selected then?” He didn’t mean to side step the subject but he wanted to ask him while it was fresh in his mind.

 

“My dad wants me to go to Kansas City like my brother but I’m not keen, I think I can do better than that, my grades are way above average and I excel above most our year and he pushes me so hard, if I go there I’ll feel like it was all for nothing.” Cas worked unbelievingly hard at school, the only thing he didn’t put a hundred and ten percent into was gym.

 

“Well you need to do what you want really, where do you want to go?”

 

“It’s easier said than done.”

 

“Yeah I know.” Cas opened his eyes and smiled up at him. Dean cupped his face, noticing for the first time that he was clean shaven, he never seemed to catch him after he had shaved, it looked nice. “I was wondering, would you help me look at some colleges? I probably wouldn’t even get into Kansas but I’d like to at least look.”

 

“I thought you wanted to be a mechanic?” He looked genuinely curious.

 

“Bobby thinks I should at least try, he’ll always have a job for me. Apparently dad left me and Sam and college fund.” He let his hand move back into his hair, he had never realised it was so thick.

 

“Well, that’s one less thing to worry about, loans are complicated, you really need to see what you can afford, different courses will have different fees. Then you need to think where you’ll be staying, it’s cheaper to stay at home or on campus but do you really want to share a room with a stranger?” That was a good point, he hadn’t thought that far yet. “Do you think we’ll ever see each other if we go to college?”

 

“I don’t know, if you go really far I’ll never be able to afford a flight, suppose I could drive.” He always had loved driving; he wouldn’t mind a road trip up to see Cas.

 

“You can’t drive.” He scoffed. “I would fly to you, I’ll afford it, I get my inheritance once I graduate.” He wanted to ask how much that would be but he thought he had already been rude enough today.

 

“I think we’ll still be friends, we can always skype and we’ll both probably be home for Christmas.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“It’s like eight months away, let’s come to that when it happens. I will help you look at your options though, you’ll have to find out your predicted grades and sort out with Bobby and your Dad what you can afford.” He nodded. “What time is it anyway?”

 

“Do you have to go home? It’s so early.” He hadn’t even eaten his pie yet! Cas sat up and Dean took the time to grab his phone from his pocket, it had just gone seven.

 

“Yeah, I think I better. I can’t stay out when they’re home. They’ll start calling me if I stay out much longer.” He smiled sadly. “But here, you can have this stuff.” He handed him a few containers.

 

“Is there pie in here?”

 

“Yes, Dean, there’s pie!” He grinned and stood up. He held his hand out to Dean and he let himself be pulled up.

 

“I guess I’ll let you off then.”

 

“You better, I baked that myself.”

 

...

 

“You can BAKE your own PIE?”


	22. Chapter Ten - Part Three

Dean had only just got through the door and sat down when his phone started ringing. Sam and Bobby were eating pasta in front of the TV, it looked like they were watching Sherlock, he had bought the boxset for Sam last year on his birthday. Sherlock and John were running through the street with their hands cuffed and it looked like they were holding hands. Gaaaaaay.

 

He grumbled under his breath that he had to move as his ringtone became persistent. It could only be Cas calling him and he had just saw him.

 

“There’s food in the fridge.” Bobby told him through a mouthful of pasta. Dean shook his head.

  
“I ate.” He finally fished his phone out of his back pocket. “Hey, sup Cas?”

 

“They’re so horrible.” Cas sounded devastated, his voice sobbing on the other end of the phone. He shot out the chair and ran out the room like a flash.

 

“What happened?” His voice was full of concern for his friend. He had seen Cas angry, he had seen him upset, he had never seen him cry like this.

 

“I left my books in the kitchen, they knew I wasn’t studying, they dropped them around Balthazar’s and his parents told them I wasn’t there.” Dean took the stairs two at a time as he listened to him. That idiot Balthazar had totally ratted him in. What a dick.

 

“What did you say?” He meant regarding his parents, there obviously had been some kind of confrontation and Cas wouldn’t be crying if it had ended well.

 

“I dropped myself in the shit, they asked how it went so I waffled on about some stuff we did, not knowing that I was digging my own grave. Dad grabbed my books from under the counter and fuck, I think I died. He was so mad, he yelled and called me a liar. I’ve been sent to my room to repent my sins and pray for forgiveness.” Dean pulled a face, anyone else would be joking but he knew Cas was deadly serious his dad had said that. He didn’t know what to say. Cas sounded really upset, he was whining and hiccupping slightly.

 

“Sorry I got you in trouble.” Cas sighed deeply and sniffled, trying to stop. Dean felt really bad, he didn’t like it was Cas was upset, he wished he could do something to make him feel better. He felt like driving over there and going to see him but he knew he would just make things worse. Instead he sat on his bed and looked around feeling helpless that the person he cared about was suffering such anguish.

  
“It’s not your fault, I invited myself over. I told them I went for a walk but...” He trailed off. How could they possibly comment on him going for a walk, he actually had been walking, kind of.

 

“What, you’re not allowed to go for a walk now?” He snapped, he didn’t mean to but the situation just annoyed him. He wasn’t angry at Cas, he was frustrated with his parents.

 

“I had to tell them that because I’m freaking glowing from the sun! What else could I say for not going to Balthazar’s?” Now his voice was rising and he sounded like he was pleading with him.

 

“So what?” What else could he have said? Lying had been better than the truth. Sorry, mom/dad I was at Singers Garage and Salvage, sunbathing naked with the guy I’m currently trying to fuck. That would not go down well.

 

“I shouldn’t have lied.” Dean sighed and let himself fall back onto the bed. Yes, he should have lied. He couldn’t say that though, Cas was obviously sensitive right now, he didn’t need him arguing with him and making him feel worse.

 

“You didn’t know Cas, it’s fine, you haven’t done anything wrong. Just ignore them, they’re parents, they’re supposed to complain.” He wanted to make him feel like it wasn’t a big deal even though he thought it was. It didn’t seem fair that a nice guy like Cas was crying at home when there were people their age who were a million times worse.

 

“But,” He sobbed loudly again and sounded like he had buried his face into his pillow for a second. “My mom saw my love bites and said I shouldn’t be seeing anyone, I’m too young and I need to break it off with you.” Dean’s heart was in his mouth, he swallowed thickly.

 

“You told her about me?” This could be really, really bad. Was this why he was really upset? Was their time up already? Was he going to tell him that he could never see him again and that everything had to stop? That his family had forbid it? Dean knew he was fucked if that ever happened.

 

“No, I said it was a one off with some girl from church. I’m just lucky my dad didn’t see it, he would flip.” Dean didn’t understand, Cas was eighteen and he wasn’t allowed a girlfriend? Forget the fact he was seeing a guy, not the point. Some people got married at eighteen. He had made it to that age without even being kissed, his parents should be proud. And Cas’ body was his own , it should be his decision what he did. He wasn’t harming himself or anyone else by the choices he made. And they hadn’t even had sex yet, he was sure they would be safe about it when they did. What was the issue?

 

Sometimes he felt like Cas’ parents didn’t want him to be happy. There were more important things to life than books and church, he understood that religion was part of Cas’ culture but he didn’t like to think that God would be angry or disappointed in the choices Cas had made. And that’s what his parents were saying. Castiel was one of the nicest and most moral people he knew. It was such a shame. He didn’t want Cas to think he was doing anything wrong because he wasn’t. Not really.

 

“Calm down, it’s okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have marked you, I won’t do it again.” And he wouldn’t he meant it, all of this fuss over a drunken love bite, he was such an idiot sometimes, thinking with his dick instead of his brain. He really needed to grow up and think about his actions more, he scolded himself internally for causing so much trouble for Castiel. He wasn’t directly responsible but in a small way he was, after all he was the reason Cas was sneaking around.

 

“It’s okay, they’re just overreacting. I’m sorry to call you like this, I just didn’t want to cry by myself.” Dean’s heart sank again and he rolled onto his side, he grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest. Did he always used to cry by himself? That was awful, he must have felt so lonely. He had always had Sam, even if he didn’t always understand, like when Cassie had dumped him, he had been a mess.

  
“Don’t cry, baby, it’s okay.” He whispered, trying to comfort him. He really wished he could reach out. The image of Cas crying was breaking his heart. He closed his eyes and imagined he was lying in bed with him, that there was just a pillow between them. He whispered nonsense down the phone, not even sure what he needed to hear but eventually his breathing calmed and he stopped sobbing so hard.

 

“I wish you were here to give me a hug.” Dean smiled, glad they were on the same wavelength.

  
“Me too, do you still want to come over this weekend? Then you can have all the hugs you want.” He would understand if Cas had changed his mind about staying but it wouldn’t stop him from being disappointed.

  
“I’d like that.” He sounded like he had calmed down a lot, that he had stopped crying.

  
“Are you okay?” He asked tentatively.

 

“I’m not going to stop seeing you, I don’t care what they think.” Now he just sounded defiant, he was obviously getting over the initial upset of what had happened and was. “Technically, my mom said to break up with ‘that girl’, so really I’m not lying.” Devious Cas was kind of sexy.

 

“We’ll just be extra careful.”As exciting as all of this sneaking around was, it wouldn’t be funny if they got caught.

 

“I was thinking, maybe you could meet them, you know, hiding in plain sight.” He sounded hopeful as he said it and Dean didn’t want to shoot his idea down but he was sure it wouldn’t help either. He really didn’t like the idea of meeting the two people that made him so miserable.

 

“No offence but there is no way they would approve. I don’t even go to church.” And it was true, the only friend he was aware of was Balthazar and they must think he was a saint. Though how they couldn’t tell he was gay he didn’t know; there was practically a neon sign floating above his head declaring his love for cock.

 

“You could if you wanted...” What? He was bought back from his strange image of Balthazar to reality really quickly with that statement. Was Cas asking him to go to church? He felt uneasy, he hadn’t been to church since he was a kid.

 

“Cas, no offence but it’s not really my thing...” Cas sighed down the phone and he could practically hear the frown on his friends face. Now he felt bad. “...but if it meant you could come and study at mine without it being a problem then I wouldn’t hesitate.” He finished quickly.

  
“You would go to church for me?” He wasn’t completely sure about it but he could swallow his pride to make things easier for Cas.

  
“Erm, yeah, I don’t want to do any of that bible class stuff, just a normal Sunday thing, that’s like two hours right?” He was really out of his depth here but his mouth was running away with him again.

  
“Sunday is easy, sing some hymns, listen to some readings...”

 

“Okay.” He couldn’t believe he had just agreed to this. He must be crazy.

 

“Are you sure?”He wasn’t sure but Cas sounded like he was perking up at the idea. He couldn’t take it back now.

  
“So if I went and I introduced myself do you think you could come to mine?” It had to be worth a try if nothing else.

 

“It’s possible, you’d have to be on your best behaviour though.” He sounded like he was trying not to hurt Dean’s feelings. It hadn’t.

 

“Don’t worry about that.” He replied, he knew had to be polite when it mattered. He stared at the wall thinking, he would definitely be dragging Sam along. He just wasn’t sure how he could convince him to go.

 

“I’m not saying they’ll let me stay over your house and stuff, I might just be allowed to yours for school stuff or church stuff. Well, if I haven’t been grounded for the rest of my life.” At least that was better than nothing.They shouldn’t ground him just because he had gone for a walk (at least he hoped not), he had never known people so strict. He really didn’t want to know what would happen if they knew he had been laying naked on the car earlier. He was going tone it down in public before they got caught. “So what do you want me to do Sunday? Will you meet me there or do you want picking up?” Dean was going to say that he could drive but he realised he had no idea where the church was. There were two in town, he wasn’t sure if they were different and which one belonged to Cas’ parents.

 

“Erm, I don’t know where it is...” That was kind of embarrassing to admit.

 

“Okay, well, I’ll come and pick you up.”

 

“I was thinking about bringing Sam?” He hoped that would be okay, maybe it would be good fun for Gabriel as well.

 

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks for doing this, I do appreciate it.” He did sound really grateful which was why Dean was playing along with it, sometimes you just had to do things you didn’t want to, that was life.

 

“It’s no problem.” It was just a white lie, he knew he was panicking for no reason, it was only church, he would go a few times and then Cas’ parents would be eating out of the palm of his hands. There was no way they wouldn’t let Cas come over after he had finished with them.

 

“Okay well, thank you for listening, I’m going to go and do stuff.” Dean pulled himself back off the bed and decided to go and watch Sherlock with Sam.

 

“Are you alright now?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll text you later. Bye.”

 

“Bye.” Cas hung up first and Dean threw it on the bed and rubbed his hands over his face, suddenly really tired. Cas’ parents were hard work. He jogged back down the stairs and flopped back into his seat.

 

“Everything okay?” Sam looked at him curiously. He shrugged.

 

“Yeah, Cas invited me to church on Sunday, that’s all.” Sam stared at him disbelievingly.

 

“Are you’re going?” Hey, what was that supposed to mean?

 

“Yeah and so are you.” The look on Sam’s face was priceless and would make it worth it if nothing else.


	23. Chapter Eleven - Part One

Sam came around to the idea of going to church as soon as he realised Gabriel would be there, Dean wished he could warm up to it more though. He knew it would make Cas happy but it was a bit daring, shoving himself under his parents noses. He just needed to lie until the end of the Earth and he would be okay.

 

He didn’t see much of Cas at school on Tuesday or Wednesday but they skyped in the evenings. Dean had kicked Sam off Bobby’s computer because they were going through college stuff. Cas had sent him some really helpful links that broke down the college application easily which he really appreciated. He was just looking through them, though he knew he needed to talk a bit more about money with Bobby.

 

“Erg, this seems like so much hard work.” He whined, lying back in the office chair and putting his feet on the desk.

 

“It’s okay, you have plenty of time still to decide what you want to do.” He had a headset on so they were on a call, Bobby didn’t have a webcam.

 

“I know, I know, it’s just my dad... He’s coming home for Christmas and I’ll have to talk to him about this.” He didn’t hesitate talking about his dad around Cas anymore, he had opened up a lot about their dysfunctional relationship, the only thing he could never talk about was his mom.

 

“Well, that’s good right? You haven’t seen him in ages.” No, he hadn’t he hadn’t even got a phone call since he was dropped at Bobby’s in July.

 

“That’s his problem, he hasn’t even called once since he’s been gone, he has no excuse. I mean, he has all our numbers.” It pissed Dean off, he had three numbers to call, had all their emails and knew where they lived, it wasn’t like they were in hiding. He hadn’t even received a shitty postcard. Why should he make the effort when his Dad obviously didn’t give a shit?

 

“You can’t avoid him forever. I know you’re upset but he’s your dad.” Trust Cas to act like the voice of reason.

 

“I know, it’s just hard. We haven’t spoken in months and the first thing I say to him is about money. That makes me look like a douche.” He sighed. “And then there’s me and you, what if he finds out? He’s coming for like a month.”

 

“He won’t, Bobby only knows because we told him, it’s not like we run around screaming it from the rooftops. Besides, we’re just friends, we’re not even lying technically.” It still felt like a kick to the gut, he wished his feelings could make their mind up. “Dean, stop, it’s fine, why don’t you call him before he arrives, try and patch things up a bit?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“Send him a text or something if you’re too nervous, at least it will start the communication.”

 

“I’m not nervous.” He defended, it was a bit quick and he winced. He didn’t know why he bothered lying to Cas anyway, he knew before the lie was even out his mouth.

 

“Well, still, it won’t hurt.” He was right of course, even though he didn’t want to admit it.

 

**

 

Dean didn’t sleep much that night, he was tossing and turning a lot, his mind going wild. He had once looked up to his Dad and now he just felt disappointed with their relationship. He was never a model Dad but at least he used to be around. It bothered him. Cas was right, he was going to have to make the first move in trying to repair what they had lost, he knew it shouldn’t be that way but that was just the way his dad was. He decided to text him in the morning.

 

**

 

The next day was Thursday and he had an hour home room in the morning, he spent most of it staring at a blank text page with ‘Dad’ written at the top. He just didn’t know what to write. He erased it and changed it to ‘Cas’.

 

**_I don’t even know what to say to him, do I just say hi or what? X_ **

 

Cas texted back instantly.

 

 _Cas_  
Received 9:32  
Just tell him you haven’t spoken in a while and ask if you can call him later?

 

He kind of loved that he didn’t even have to tell him what he was talking about, he already knew. Okay, he could do that, that sounded vague and he was happy with that. He sent it to his dad a bit more confidently and then pocketed his phone, trying to forget about it so he wouldn’t be disappointed when he didn’t text him back.

 

**

 

“So erm, I texted dad today.” Bobby paused for a millisecond; he was pouring some oil into a van for the power steering. Sam who was sat next to him on the floor snorted and Dean glanced at him and wanted to tell him to shut up but he couldn’t be bothered with the fight.

 

“What did he say?” Bobby asked. Dean tried to act like he wasn’t bothered and shrugged with one shoulder even though he knew Bobby couldn’t see him.

 

“Didn’t reply yet.” He pulled at the seam of his trousers, picking at a loose tread.

 

“Just give it time, think of the time difference.” He didn’t know whether to be grateful to Bobby or annoyed that he was trying to stick up for his dad after everything he had done.

 

“It won’t be that, he’s still pissed.” Sam piped up, keeping his eyes on the book rested on his lap. “He’s seven hours ahead of us. What time did you text him?”

 

Sam had put an even bigger damper on his mood, it would have been half past three when he got it. He didn’t feel like answering him.

 

He glanced at the clock, it was just gone five.

 

“I’m going home, I have homework.” He pulled himself off the floor and walked off before either of them questioned him, he wasn’t even working that day anyway.

 

Instead of going home to mope he decided to go and get ice cream instead. He drove into town to the ice-cream parlour that Cas had taken him to a few weeks ago. He decided to get it put in a tub instead of a cone, picked four different flavours and took delight in loading it with all his favourite toppings. He paid the lady an extortionate amount and then grabbed one, no, two spoons from the canister.

 

He drove with it carefully on the front seat, his eyes glancing between the road and the container; he had images of it going all over babies leather. He knew where he was going, it wasn’t too far from town. He parked next door to Cas’ house, making sure he was covered by the tall wall and the trees , he was paranoid and he didn’t want to meet his parents any sooner than necessary. He pulled out his phone.

 

**_Come outside?_ **

 

It was a shot in the dark hoping that Cas could escape for five minutes and he stared the ice cream longingly, it was starting to melt. He would leave it five minutes and if Cas wasn’t out by then it was his loss.

 

 _Cas_  
Received 17:42  
Where are you? X

He hopped out the car and locked up then sat on the curb by the gate.

 

**_Your gate._ **

****

He gave up waiting and started scooping up all the melted bits, yum. Cas appeared behind him about five minutes later.

 

“Is there a reason you’re eating ice cream in my gutter?” He leant back and smiled at him, looking up at his tall figure as he loomed over him. He was in sweatpants and a hoody.

 

“Hey, baby.” Cas raised an eyebrow and sat down next to him. “What?” He said, the spoon sticking out of his mouth stupidly. Cas laughed.

 

“Well, you only ever call me baby when we’re having a heart to heart or... you know.” He nudged him with his elbow in a teasing manner and smiled at him.  “So am I going to get cried on or an orgasm?” Dean choked on his ice cream as he laughed.

 

“You’re such a dick, here, there’s two spoons for a reason.”

 

“Thanks.” He took a big scoop and shoved it in his mouth. “You got my favourite.” Dean looked in the tub, yep, totally subconscious. “Soooo, now we’re both in the gutter because? ...”

 

“Oh, my bad, just crap with my dad, it’s nothing, I’m over it. Just wanted to see you.” Cas took the container off him and Dean tried to attack his hand with his spoon.

 

“Stop it, I’m trying to be comforting!” He scolded hitting him back with the spoon.

 

“You’re eating all my ice cream!”

 

“ _Your_ ice cream?” He challenged. Dean stared at him with a grin on his face, it gradually growing bigger. Within seconds Cas jumped up and ran away with the ice cream, laughing and shoving as much in his mouth as he could.

 

“Come back!” He hissed, getting up and running past the open gate as low to the ground as physically possible. He didn’t fancy explaining to Cas’ parents why he was chasing him down the road.

 

“Ohhhh, brainfreeze!” Cas gripped his head with one hand and ran to the end of the street until Dean caught up with him because he had slowed to much from his headache. (“Ow, ow, ow!”) Dean grabbed him by his shirt and yanked him back, he caught him before he fell but the ice cream fell on the floor. They were face to face for a split seconds before they broke apart.

 

They both laughed for a few minutes and then stared down at the floor sadly. “Dude you killed my ice cream.” He tried to keep the smile off his face but it was impossible. “I didn’t even get any. You ate it all.” He complained, it was a complete lie of course. He had ate plenty. Cas smiled at him and looked a little guilty and Dean knew he was sorry. It was all in good fun.

  
“Come on, you can walk me home.” The simple statement made him happy, Cas made things feel normal again.  He was happy he had managed to get away for a bit, even if it only was ten minutes.

 

“How’d you sneak out away?” He was curious, Cas’ parents were just too strict. He had been thinking about it the other night, he had noticed that they weren’t strict with the others, they were even more lenient with Gabriel who (as far as he knew) was the youngest. It just didn’t make sense.

 

“I’m taking out the trash.” Wow, Cas’ life was hard. He had to lie to get some fresh air?

 

When they were back at the gate Cas convinced him to come into the front garden, there was a lot of trees and some fancy flowerbeds and they he assured him they couldn’t be seen from the house, he pulled him inside some bushes.

 

“I’m in a bush.” He deadpanned at Cas who smiled softly at him and looked at him with what he called Cas’ bedroom eyes number two.

 

_Oh._

 

Cas kissed him with ice cold lips and he tasted sweet. They stayed there making out until Cas didn’t taste like ice cream anymore. 


	24. Chapter Eleven - Part Two

Dean awoke to his face vibrating; he groggily shoved his hand under his pillow and answered the phone. He balanced it on the side of his face and let his eyes fall closed again.

 

“Hey, baby.” He muttered, steadily drifting back to sleep.

 

“Dean?” His eyes shot open. Oh, fuck. Well that woke him up.

 

“Dad?” He squeaked.

 

“Ha, who were you expecting?”

 

“Erm, no-one, I was just confused that’s all. It’s the middle of the night.”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. I got your message yesterday but I couldn’t text back. Thought I’d give you a call.” Dean sat up and stared blankly into the dark. He had wanted his dad to call but now he didn’t know what to say. “So, how’s school?”

 

“It’s okay, I’m doing really well. Sam’s hitting straight A’s as usual.”

 

“Good... thats’s good.”

 

“So, could you call a bit later so Sam can speak to you? I think he’d appreciate it.” He pulled his phone away from his ear to look at the time. “It’s like five am here.” He was happy but seriously, did he have to do this so early?

 

“Yeah, sure son, I’ll call you before school... What time’s that?” Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“Call at like eight.”

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll speak to you then.”

 

**

 

Surprisingly he did call back at eight when they were driving to school, Sam was ecstatic that he called and chatted away in the backseat to him for the full twenty minutes to school. He was all, “In history this,” and “my friend Gabriel that,” honestly it was nice to see him smile. He could hear him making promises to call more often, he just hoped it was true, it was one thing to lie to him but another to lie to Sam. Friday morning at eight o’clock sharp he called again and Dean started to get a little more faith in his dad.

 

Friday night he drove over to Cas’ at ten pm, Cas ensured him both his parents were already in bed and that the household was silent. His life was so different to Dean’s who wasn’t even thinking of going to bed yet, Sam was online on the PS3 playing Black Ops 2 and Bobby was in the office with Rufus the two of them starting the weekend. He couldn’t picture his household silent by ten pm, one or two am maybe.

 

He turned off his headlight as he drove up to Cas’ wall. He could see his silhouette sitting in his bedroom window, his legs outside. As soon as he caught sight of Dean he shouldered a bag and blindly poked his feet out to feel for the bracket on the drainpipe. He found his balance quickly and pushed his window closed slightly. He disappeared from view as he started to climb down. He appeared a few minutes later through the gate.

 

“Hey, you.” Dean leant over to give him a kiss which Cas smiled into and caught his lips a second time. Dean leant back and glanced down at Cas’ lips then back to his eyes. “Save it for later.” He winked.

  
“Sounds good to me, are you sure Bobby’s okay with this?”

 

“Everything’s fine. Now duck down, Gabriel’s at the window.” Cas put his head in his knees while Dean reversed back far enough so he could do a three point turn and head towards town.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“McDonalds, I want a burger, I ate earlier but meh.”

 

They went through the drive through and Dean paid, they both got burgers and some fries and then made their way back to Bobby’s. When they got back Dean went inside first and they snuck up the stairs easily. He quickly ushered Cas inside his room and locked the door. Dean fiddled around with his radio, paranoid that if there was no sound that Sam would hear them talking, the walls were pretty thin. He didn’t think that he would be going to bed anytime soon but he wanted it there just in case.

 

They settled on the bed ate their burgers and faced towards each other with their legs crossed.

 

“Thanks for this, burgers are my favourite.” Cas grinned at him, taking a big bite.

 

“Me too. Look, thanks for coming over even though, you know, you could get in trouble.”

 

“I’d prefer to spend time with you than to be at home doing nothing, I get bored, there’s only so much I can do without wanting to rip my hair out. Our friendship is very refreshing.” Dean took the compliment for what it was, he treasured their friendship. He honestly didn’t know what he would do without Cas, he was the best friend he had ever had and he told him so.

 

“I’ve never had a friend like you before, I’m so comfortable, I feel like I could tell you anything and that’s really cool.” Cas paused and stopped eating for a second.

 

“Thanks Dean, that means a lot. So ern, what happened with your dad? You did text him, right?” He looked sympathetically towards Dean, and looked cautious of how he would react. Dean had completely forgotten to even talk about it to Cas, it had slipped his mind.

 

“Oh, it was okay. I was going to tell you, he called yesterday and again this morning but he spoke to Sam more than me, which is good. He didn’t have much to say to me.”

 

“I thought you wanted to talk to him though, it’s important.”

 

“I have a bit and I will, it just doesn’t feel right at the moment. I think haven’t forgiven him yet.” It was getting easier though.

 

“Just give it time.” Cas reassured him, he squeezed his hand and it took a weight off his heart.

 

“I know, I’ll forgive him eventually but it’s still hard to forget.” He sighed. “And I don’t know he’s going to react for wanting to go to college, I don’t think anyone in my family have been before.”

 

“Do you think he’ll be surprised?”

 

“Surprised’s not the word, shocked maybe, I just don’t want him to take it as a big joke. Whatever happens I know he won’t be supportive, I don’t know if I should even bother.” Cas shrugged uncomfortably.

 

“I know how that feels, I still  haven’t spoken to my folks about my history course.”

 

“So what do they want you to do, some religious thing?”

 

“Catholic Theology.” Dean pulled a face. “It might be interesting enough.”

 

“You might do it?” He shrugged.

 

“I told you I hadn’t made up my mind yet. It might be easier, they can make my life very difficult. I’m trying not to think about it.”

 

“I’m sorry, you’re trying to avoid it and I keep bugging you to help me.”

 

“It’s not a problem.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t apologise, I said it was fine.” Cas didn’t speak much after that but happily finished his burger and wrapped up the rubbish and handed it to Dean with a big cheesy smile. “Present.” He stated. Dean finished his own burger and shoved it back in the bag.

  
“I’m just gonna take this back downstairs, I don’t want it stinking in here. I’ll be back in a sec.” Cas nodded and looked around the room.

 

“Can I look at your books?” He stared at Dean’s shelf, there was only about ten there and he had no idea why he would be interested when he practically had his own library.

 

“Knock yourself out, just don’t raid my porn.” Cas’ eyebrows almost shot into his hairline.

 

“You have porn?” He sounded a bit choked and the look he gave Dean was priceless.

 

“Haha, yeah, don’t you?”

 

“No, I mean, only what you sent me.” Dean was momentarily stunned, he had never thought of it that way, only a couple of exchanged pictures and a video but Cas owned porn of him. It shut him up for a minute.

 

“Well in that case, it’s under the bed.” Cas tried not to look interested but it showed. He was sure he would jump up as soon as he was out of the room. He opened the door and sneaked through it, shutting it with a soft click and then ninja’ed down the stairs. He went to the kitchen and shoved the rubbish in the bin. He was just about to walk back upstairs when Bobby and Rufus wobbled in.

 

“Hey boy!” Rufus stumbled to the fridge and grabbed a beer. “Where you been hiding?”

 

“Just in my room.”

 

“Join us for a beer?”

 

“Oh, I-“ Bobby walked to the fridge and grabbed a box and dumped it into Dean’s arms. “-What’s that for?”

 

“Your company. Just don’t let your brother see, I’m not letting him near booze until he’s thirty after his last stunt.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Don’t give him all of that, what we—“ Rufus argued.

 

“We have whiskey, let the boy have some—“ Bobby grabbed a bottle of whiskey from under the sink. Dean chose to side step out of the room before Bobby changed his mind. He ran up the stairs and made sure to avoid the steps he knew would creak. He opened the door using his elbow on the handle and bounced into the room excited at the prospect of alcohol.

 

“Present from Bobby.” He put the box on the floor and leant down to grab two bottles from inside. Cas looked up from a porn mag that he was holding the wrong way around.

 

“I’ll never get tired of saying this, I love your family.” Dean peered into the box, there was about ten bottles in there. He handed a bottle to Cas and joined him on the bed, he unscrewed the cap. They clinked their bottles together. “Cheers.” Cas fiddled with the label on his bottle but didn’t have a drink.

 

“I knew you would look.” He gestured to the open mag that Cas had flung to the side.

 

“I was curious, I’ve never saw one before.”

 

“What naked ladies?”

 

“Yeh, haha.” He laughed awkwardly.

 

“So what did you think?”

 

“You’re better.” He answered directly and smiled at him. Dean blushed. Cas grinned and took a long drink. Dean laughed as Cas cringed at the taste. “Erg, beers gross.”

 

“You’ll get used to it.”

 

And he did, he steadily drank through several bottles until there was none left. He actually started drinking Dean’s when he had finished his own. The tipsier Cas got the louder he talked and the more excited and carefree he became.

 

“You promised me hugs.” Cas wrapped himself around him and Dean rolled his eyes at his drunken friend’s antics.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re thinking about ‘hugs’.” He stared at him knowingly.

 

“What can I say? You’re irresistible.” Dean pushed him away lightly and flushed.

 

“You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re trying to get into my pants.”

 

“No I’m not, I don’t need to compliment you for that. Oh, and I never thanked you for that video, you look amazing.” Cas wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“I still have your video, I’ve been putting it to good use.” He replied, trying to even the playing field. Cas couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

 

“If you’re good I’ll give you a live show.” Now he loved where this conversation was going. He forced himself to sit up, he didn’t want to move but he needed to turn up the music. Things were getting interesting. He fiddled the station and tried to find something that wasn’t Beiber, it was killing his buzz.

 

“No, let me!” Cas stood up wobbling slightly, he put his stolen beer on the edge of the cabinet, he almost missed a few times before he got it on. He bumped him out the way with his hip, he messed with the buttons until he found a classical station.

 

“Dude, no!” Dean reached out to try and turn it back over but Cas grabbed his hands.

 

“No, come on, feel it.”

 

“What?” He led him to the edge of the bed and sat down, Csa still held his right hand and he lay back.

 

“Just feel it, close your eyes.” Cas was obviously insane but he just linked their fingers together.

 

“This is gay.”

 

“Shut up, you’re gay.” He had a huge smile on his face and lay there with his eyes closed.

 

“You love it.”

 

“Not the point. Just...” Cas took a deep breath. “Relax.” He let his head fall back onto the mattress.

 

“I think you’re drunk.” Cas opened an eye.

 

“And what if I am? I thought that was your intention.” Dean nodded and let himself feel the soft buzz from the alcohol. He wasn’t far from it himself. He pulled himself onto the bed and laid back, his legs off the bed. Cas followed him and lined himself up to Dean’s side, he rested his head on his chest. Their fingers linked back together and with his free hand he played with Cas’ hair, brushing at the strands and alternatively scratching softly against his scalp.

 

“Mmmm.” Cas hummed and relaxed into the touch.

 

He tried to listen to the music and try and grasp what Cas was talking about it but he was distracted by the weight on his chest. He didn’t like music like this and he had never heard this song, and if he had the chances of him remembering were none existent. It was unremarkable but he tried to appreciate it for Cas. Though if he heard it again he would remember the smell of Cas’ shampoo. Cas was breathing softly, in time to himself and stroking his thumb across Dean’s hand, he let himself drown in the sensation.

 

It was amazing to him how two people who were so different had been bought together, fuelled by their attraction and the shitty town. And in a way they were opposites, at least it felt that way. He wondered what Cas would be doing now if he had never come back. He would be living out the life his parents had written for him, step by step. It was sad. Cas would breeze through school like he was now but he would be doing it for the wrong reasons. Not because he enjoyed it but because it was expected. He would continue to be tormented by Lucian and Michael, sleep alone at night and go unnoticed by his classmates. He wouldn’t have had his first kiss yet. Balthazar would be his only friend and consumed by his workload and his own lack of self worth be would never notice that Bas fancied him. And he guessed after graduation Cas would go to KU and meet some Mary Sue. Dean felt like he had made a difference coming back, he had taught him about real friendship or at least he had played some part in it. Cas had once told him he wanted to travel, to learn as many languages as he could but he thought he would never have the time. He wanted him to do that, life should be beautiful for someone like Cas, he should be able to do whatever his heart desired.

 

“Sometimes I think I care about you more than anything.” Dean muttered, he found himself voicing his thoughts. Oh, wow he was drunk, he realised as he went back through his thought process. Oh, and it felt nice even though he was feeling kinda soppy. “Do you think that’s wrong?” Cas lifted his head and looked up at him.

 

“I don’t know, maybe. Do you like me more than yourself?” That was a confusing question. He shook his head ‘no’, he didn’t think so. “Forget it then, live for the moment.” Cas shakily sat up and stretched and groaned as if trying to wake himself up. “I think you should dance and sing like no-one is watching.”He sighed happily.

 

“Not right now, princess.” He joked.

 

“No, now you should love selfishly.”

 

“Selfishly?” What was he even talking about?

 

“Yes, I think you should love _me_ selfishly. Right now.” Cas lay back, placing his arms above his head submissively. He was flushed and purposely letting his shirt ride up to expose his navel. Oh, _ohhhh_. Okay, now he understood perfectly. Dean twisted and sat himself comfortably onto Cas’ hips. He fit perfectly there.

 

“You do, do you?” He leant forwards and circled his hands briefly around Cas’ wrists and squeezed lightly. Unable to resist his let go but let his hands meet the waiting pair and they slotted together. He didn’t know what it was but there was just something about Cas’ hands. They were soft and welcoming.

 

“Ah ha, definitely. I thought we could try something... new?” Cas was breathing against him and Dean ran his nose softly across his cheek and to Castiel’s nose, Cas bumped them together lightly and it was making him a bit dizzy. He sat up slightly to look at him and Cas followed, their hands parting and Cas resting on his arms. “Can we?” Fuck, did he realise how deep and seductive his voice was right now. Was Cas trying to seduce him? Well if he was it was working. He watched him chew at his lip nervously. Now that made him wonder what he wanted. “We talked about it before but I want you to do it to me.” Dean stared, his mind wiping blank and his mouth going dry.

 

It was suddenly really, really warm in his room.

 

“You want me too...” He tried to say it but it was stuck in his throat. It was different saying it face to face then whispered it down the phone. Cas nodded slowly. He remembered the conversations clearly, three fingers stuffed up his ass and Cas talking him through it and sounding filthy. He was already hard, he remembered how much he had cum, he hadn’t even had to touch his cock.

 

“If you want to, I showered... and stuff.” He stared at him, his eyes were excited and his expression a little embarrassed.

 

“Oh ew, Cas, TMI.” He pulled back slightly and teased him, Cas punched him lightly.

 

“I was being nice! I just didn’t want any... accidents...” Dean wasn’t sure what to say about that. At least it crossed certain worries off his list. Okay, he didn’t need to be thinking about that, seriously. Stop it. There was a hot guy lying under him asking him to... “Is- is that okay?” Cas looked God-damned gorgeous the way he was eyeing him up. It would be rude not to.

 

So he kissed him.


	25. Chapter Eleven - Part Three

Cas was like putty in his arms, he melted into him and his response was instant, he moaned into his mouth straight away and yeah, this was what Dean needed. Cas relaxed and needy and to make Dean feel like he was wanted.

  
“I want you to get comfy, take your clothes off.” Dean whispered but Cas only pressed against him further, sucking lightly at his lip at before he swiped his tongue against Dean’s, trying to open the kiss. He responded enthusiastically, kissing Castiel was intoxicating and completely consuming. The way he fit so perfectly with him and seemed to know exactly what he liked and wanted. Dean had kissed many people in his short time, sometimes drunk and others that had mattered but no-one had ever kissed him the way Cas did. His kisses made him hungry. “Come on baby, too many clothes.” He breathed. Cas finally pulled away and nodded and then he kissed his cheek. Dean’s stomach twisted pleasantly.

 

He stood up to turn the main light off and he heard a click behind him, Cas had turned on the small light. He stripped quickly down to his boxers and got under the duvet with Cas, they met in the middle, reached for each other instantly and pressed together as close as physically possible. There was so much warm skin pressed against him and he wanted to touch it all. Their legs were tangled together, Cas’ feet were cold and the light dusting of curled hair on his thighs tickled him. Their lips were inseparable, mashing together as they both whined in desire. Dean rested one of his hands on Cas’ waist, petting up and down, tracing over his hipbone and higher up to his ribs.

 

The heat in the room soared, Cas skin was becoming hot and as they rubbed together he could feel himself start to get sticky. He didn’t know where to put his hands, he wanted to touch everywhere. Cas seemed to be on a similar thought process because one minute his hands were in Dean’s hair and the next they were pulling him closer. He tried to muffle the moan that broke through as Cas gripped his ass through his boxers, fuck, that felt good. He copied him and snaked a hand down as well, he wanted him to know how he had made him feel, but God, there wasn’t enough skin. He fumbled as he shoved his hand down the back of Cas’ underwear and felt himself shiver as he finally got under and palmed the flesh.

 

He pulled out of the kiss and tried to catch his breath, he breathed deeply and opened his eyes. He was suddenly looking at the ceiling; Cas had took advantage and pushed him back. He kissed his neck roughly and bit him gently, tugging lightly at the skin, attacking the exact place that turned him to jell-o. He felt like he was sinking into the sheets as Cas climbed on him. He wasted no time, he ground against him as he devoured his neck and he could easily feel the predominant bulge pressed against him. Dean let shoved his other hand into Cas’ underwear as well and cupped him, pulling their groins closer together and making their cocks touch deliciously through the single later of material.

 

“Let me touch you, _please_ I want to touch you.” Cas moaned, his voice rough. Erg, that voice, it made his cock twitch. He nodded and cleared his throat.

 

“Okay.” He whispered.

 

“Nnnn,” He could see Cas clench his jaw before he buried his face . “You feel so good.” He thrust his hips against him again, rubbing against himself unashamed and selfish and Dean needed more. He loved it when Cas lost control like this. He was feeling overwhelmed and more than desperate.

 

It was as though he could literally feel the alcohol pumping though him and intensifying everything. He felt so hard and heavy against him and his hip bones were sharp but his teeth even sharper against his neck.

 

“Come here, kiss me, kiss me.” He begged and pulled his hands out. He gripped Cas’ face, kissing him urgently and spinning them, pinning Cas down on the bed under his weight. He tasted of beer and his kisses and his stubble was rough on his face but he didn’t care. He pulled desperately at Cas’ boxers. “Need to see you, baby.” He moaned more to himself than to Cas. He threw his boxers across the room and they were quickly forgotten.

 

He remembered how he had been so nervous the first time he had touched Cas’ dick but now he was hungry for it. He was no longer worried about what it meant. The feel of it heavy against his hand at one point he had thought it felt smaller than his but he was wrong, he just wasn’t used to feeling someone else. He was different but in a good way, his skin was pink and a tone darker than Dean’s and his dick arched slightly towards his stomach and all in all Cas had a pretty nice cock.

 

He pulled the duvet over his head and shimmied downwards, careful where he put his knees on the way down. He sat comfortably between Cas’ legs.

 

“Oh fuck!” Cas yelled as Dean ducked down and closed his mouth around him, he pulled away and popped his head from under the sheets.

 

“Cas, shhhh..” He hushed him, his hand gripping the shaft tight and jerking him slowly. He leant up and kissed him again, hoping to swallow some of the noise. Man, he was getting loud but it made his mind cloud and his breath hitch. He pulled away to look at Cas’ eyes, they were wide and surprised and his pupils huge. He pushed his sweaty hair out of his face. “I need you to be quiet for me, baby, can you do that?” Cas nodded and bucked up into Dean’s touch, squirming. He wasn’t sure if he was listening. He was chewing on his lips and panting softly.

 

“Cas!” He growled.

  
“Please, please just touch me, I’ll be good.”

 

“Quiet.” He ordered and then forced him into a kiss that left Cas no quieter than before. Castiel’s hand shot out and fumbled for the spare pillow next to him and hugged it over his face. Dean stared, burning the image into his mind and committing it to memory. Dean got right back on track and disappeared under the duvet again, kissing his way down Cas’ stomach until he met where his dick was laying.

 

Fuck, he was going to do whatever the hell he wanted, he didn’t give a fuck as long as Cas kept breathing like that. He tried to suck him deep, fuelled by the sound of Cas’ broken and muffled moans.

 

“Mmmmm,” Cas arched off the bed slightly. He smiled and licked up the length, it was hot and smooth against his tongue and tasted like clean skin but every so often it twanged something bitter, it didn’t put him off in the slightest, it made him want more and he sucked at the head and moaned. “Erg, Dean.” Cas bucked up again. Dean started to get annoyed and claustrophobic with the duvet, it was way too hot and getting in the way, he kicked it off and to the bottom of the bed so he could pay more attention to Castiel. He pushed his legs open wider and leant forwards again, Cas gently lifted his feet from the bed and Dean encouraged it, pushing them to his chest as he became curious. He looked at his swollen cock and then further down, he could see _everything_. He licked his lips, it was very inviting. He glanced up towards Cas.

 

He gave himself a minute to calm down before he leant down and from the base to the tip of his cock and then back down and across his balls. One of Cas’ hands tangled in his hair and tugged, he held him in place and made him clear he liked it. He canted his hips up, silently encouraging him to carry on as he gasped into the pillow with every long drag of Dean’s tongue. He thought about slipping his tongue lower, licking over the pink flesh but hesitated, he didn’t know if that was okay. Next time, next time he wanted to fuck him open with his tongue. His dick throbbed at the thought. He traced his thumb slowly over him, dragging the wetness from his spit downwards in a shiny trail until it was resting just above his hole.  Cas shifted his hips and made Dean’s thumb brush feather-light across the skin.

 

“More.” Cas moaned and Dean could picture himself pushing his fingers into that tight hole. He didn’t need to be told twice. Okay, er, he needed some lube though. It was in his bedside cabinet where he had thrown it. His hands were trembling but his desire outweighed everything else. He sat up and let Cas’ legs relax, his feet rested comfortably on the bed. He hovered over him and reached into the draw, he looked at the bottle, there was about a third of a bottle left; he hoped it would be enough, he wasn’t sure how much he would need, he had used a hell of a lot the lot time he had done _that._ He put it on the empty side of the bed by Cas’ hip.

 

“Castiel.” He leant forwards again and slowly lifted the pillow, hiding underneath it with him. He rested one of his hands on his chest and he could feel his heart beating strong against his palm. “Castiel, are you okay?” He pecked kisses down his jaw line and to his ear; he licked around the shell and could feel him shiver underneath him. “Talk to me, I need to know this is okay. We’re both drunk, I don’t want you to regret it.” Cas’ breath was heavy and the air hot. He was feeling pretty drunk and Cas had drank more than him, he didn’t know how far gone he was.

 

“Yes, please, I really want you too.” He sounded wrecked and Dean rested their foreheads together, trying to collect himself.

 

“Then why are you hiding under here, eh?” He pushed his arms under him and pulled him into a hug.

 

“I’m loud, I can’t help it.” Yes he was, but he had been loud every time they had done something together. He clearly remembered them making out in the shower rooms, Dean fisting Cas’ cock with one hand and the other pressed tightly over his pretty mouth to shut him up. He wouldn’t mind so much if Sam wasn’t here. Dean could feel the heat pouring off Cas’ face and it made him want see his flushed skin. “Just touch me, please? Just... Go slow.” Dean pulled away enough to look at him, he looked a bit panicked for a second but just as beautiful as Dean thought he would.

 

“I’ll be gentle, I’ll look after you.” He felt like his heart was swelling at the amount of trust he was being given. He understood that this was a really big deal, it was one thing doing something to yourself but sharing it with another person was intimate and more than intimidating, exposing part of yourself like this was something special.

 

“I’m just nervous.”

 

“I _promise_ it will be okay, just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

 

“I’m not a girl, Dean. I assure you if I change my mind I will make it clear.” He grumbled and smiled, trying to mask his embarrassment.

 

“Okay, so I’m going to do it... now.” Erg, this wasn’t coming out how he meant, he sounded like a dork.

 

“And don’t tease me, just get on with it, please?” As if he could ever say no to Cas.

 

Castiel was kissing him again and when they pulled apart Dean pecked him sweetly on the lips one last time, he slid his arms from underneath him. He pulled away and smiled as he watched him hide under the pillow again and grabbed the lube and squirted some in his right hand. He wasn’t sure if he should just put it on straight away or build to it gradually, should he warm it up first? He held it in cupped fingers for a few minutes while he sat back on his knees. He could figure it out in a second.

 

He licked his lips as he stared at Cas’ cock, he had read somewhere that making a guy come could relax them enough for something like this. But did Cas want to come now or would he save it for when he was... he was thinking too much about this.

 

He made a decision and rubbed his hands together, wiping the lubricant and warming it. He reached forwards and gently grabbed Cas’ shaft, using both hands he spread it everywhere rubbing them up and over him, then both hands spreading it down. He smoothed it down over his balls and then down, over and past his perineum and using his index and middle fingers he rubbed around the heated flesh of his entrance, avoiding actually touching. Cas was groaning softly, his voice deep and rumbling.

 

“Dean, Dean...” He groaned.

 

He pulled one hand away and tried to think what he had liked, how he had warmed himself up properly. Jerking himself off had been a good distraction from what he had been doing, well, he could do one better than that. He took Cas back into his mouth, sucking a few inches into his mouth and slowly bobbing his head, licking against the underside. He messaged his hole, teased him and Cas huffed impatiently and wiggled his hips. Taking the hint and acting before he lost he nerve he slowly pushed inside, gradually working his way in inch by inch.

 

“Ohhh...” Cas had frozen and he heard him gasp clearly. He looked up through his lashes, his mouth still working over his erection and looked straight into Cas’ eyes. He was holding the pillow on his head and had sat up slightly to watch what Dean was doing to him. He smiled around his cock and gave a particularly hard suck, satisfied at how Cas’ eyes fluttered shut and his head dropped back, his legs falling open obscenely wide and displaying himself to Dean, all self restraint gone. He pressed his finger in further and tried to concentrate on doing both thing at once but once he got in a rhythm it was easy; Cas felt tight and silky inside and was burning hot. It was different to anything he had experienced before, yes, he had touched himself like this but it was always different doing it with someone else. “Dean.” Cas whined and rolled his hips against the intrusion, welcoming it. He could feel him relax and his muscle start to open up for him and after a few more thrusts he thought he could handle another finger. He pulled out enough to line his index and middle finger together and rubbed around his hole, he felt swollen and could feel his muscles jump, he pushed them inside slowly. He could feel the strain, Cas squeezing around him and his fingers stretching him. It was kind of amazing.

 

Cas was keening but he kept his pace slow, steadily pressing in deeper until his palm was pressing against his ass with every thrust. He pressed against him hard and deep until his palm was flat against him, rubbing it in small circles, all the time slowly sucking him down deep and licking at the leaking slit of his dick softly. Castiel gasped loudly and started to grind against him insistently. He followed his instincts and as Cas started to moan louder and meet his thrusts half away, he sped up and bent his fingers slightly and he moaned loud and he fucked down harder on Dean’s fingers.

 

“Oh, fuck.” Cas moaned loudly and it snapped Dean out of hiss little trance and he pulled off quickly, Cas’ dick snapping against his stomach with a wet smack.

 

“Shhhh...” He couldn’t help but smile to himself though and fucked into him harder, he could feel his own dick straining as he watched him squirm and beg.

 

“Ah, ah.” Dean curled himself over the top of Cas and threw the pillow away. He just hoped the music was muffling some of the sound because he was past caring.

 

“You like that, huh, baby? You like how my fingers feel inside you?” Cas nodded against his shoulder as Dean whispered into his ear and licked a stripe up his neck. His moans were a constant but broken stream against Dean’s ear. “I bet you would feel amazing around my cock.”

 

“Oh, fuck, please Dean, you can fuck me, ohmy _god.”_ The pitch of Cas’ voice heightened and his fingers dug into Dean’s shoulders almost painfully, he turned and smashed their lips together urgently. He came, it streaking between and Dean could feel the muscles in surrounding his fingers spasm so violently that it felt like he was being pushed out. Instead he pressed against it and guided him through his orgasm, clinging to Cas just as desperately.

 

“Oh, God.” The noise Cas was making proved too much as the situation and the arousal of what he had done overtook him and he came, rubbing himself against his friend and soaking his boxers. Iyty was intense and his vision whited out and he thought he went deaf for a second before he could pull himself together. He pulled his fingers out gently and scooped Cas into his arms, he kissed his cheek several times, no control left and honestly just acting the way he wanted to. Cas’ chest was heaving, he was taking big gasps of air as he tried to calm down. “You are amazing,” He laughed breathlessly and kissed him some more. Cas was trembling and hugged him even closer, pulling Dean’s weight onto him and burying his face into his neck. “Are you okay?”

 

He was oddly silent after moaning so much, the room sounded empty.

 

“I love you, Dean, I love you.” And then he sobbed, his body shaking and he scrambled to hug him tighter. “So much, I don’t know what to do, I-“ He trailed off and sniffled loudly. Dean was shocked and hugged him back even more, realisation dawning on him. His own words stuck in his throat.

 

“It’s okay, don’t cry.” It was a big moment for the both of them. He was feeling the weight of the situation bare down on him again, he felt like he had been given a big responsibility with those words but also a gift. He didn’t know how to respond. They lay in bed for hours, wide awake and until they were uncomfortable and had to move, Cas’ sobs had subsided fairly soon after they happened and Dean wiped the tears off his face. Now they lay nose to nose but they didn’t speak but they understood. Some things didn’t need words.


	26. Chapter Eleven - Part Four

When they awoke it was just past nine o’clock and they were home alone, they didn’t mention anything about what Cas had said last night but Dean thought about it. He didn’t want to bring it up because he had been drunk at the time, he just hoped that he at least remembered. They ate a simple breakfast and watched cartoons, snuggled up in the lounge. Afterwards they showered together, Cas pinned Dean against the wall and they rutted together until they both came.

Cas stayed all day, he ignored his phone vibrating, it ended up on the floor and when he really did have to leave it took a full half an hour for them to find it, they could hear it but they couldn’t see it. They found it under a pair of stray boxers. They traded lazy kisses at the door, neither wanting to separate but Cas left with the promise to see him early tomorrow morning for church.

Oh, fuck, he had completely forgotten about that.

**

As promised Cas knocked on the door looking bright on Sunday morning, Sam answered it and let him and Gabriel inside. Gabe ran upstairs with Sam as soon as he was in the door. Cas was dressed in his Sunday best and looked stunning, his trousers and shirt tailored and fitting perfectly, showing off all his best assets. The suit he wore to school had nothing on this. He was wearing a light grey tie and a shiny pair of shoes Dean hadn’t seen before. His hair wasn’t the uncontrollable mop it always was, it actually looked like there was some product in there today and that he hadn’t just rolled out of bed. Don’t get him wrong, Dean loved the bed head look but this was like hair porn, seriously. Dean happily took his hand and led him up the stairs to his room. Dean had managed to find some black trousers and a nice shirt, it was blue so he hoped it didn’t matter. Now he was thinking about what he looked like compared to Cas, he hoped he would approve.

Cas dropped his bag onto the bed and sat down as soon as the door was closed. “I bought you a few things, I hope you don’t mind. I just want to make it look like you go to church all the time. If anyone asks then you went to St. Josephs before you moved here.” He spoke quickly and pulled out some books. “Here’s your own hymn book and your bible, I found you out my old one, that way it looks loved.” Ah, he hadn’t thought about any of those things, he was glad Cas had assumed he wouldn’t have a bible, he didn’t think he had even touched one before let alone owned one. He gratefully took them off him, the hymn book was yellow and a paperback, the pages peeled upwards and the spine all crinkled; and the bible was a plain hardback, the pages tinted yellow. He leafed through it, some text had been highlighted and notes scrawled in pencil in some of the margins. 

“What are the little stickers?” There were tiny strips of post-its in every colour of the rainbow sneaking out in different directions near the top of both books.

“Study reference, anyone who studies the bible will have them, I put a load in to make you look more knowledgeable.” Wow, did these things really matter? It was just a book.

“What do the colours mean? What if someone asks me?”

“They shouldn’t, don’t panic. And here.” He pulled a dark blue tie out of his bag and stood up, he flipped it over Dean’s head, within seconds he had buttoned his top button and tied it into a winsor knot. “Anna has no idea that you aren’t religious so just play along with everyone.” He nodded. He felt really intimidated by this, he was really out of his comfort zone. He wiped his sweaty hands on his trousers. “Calm down, you’ll be fine.”

**

They set off at nine—thirty, Bobby stood at the door and had seen them off. They drove for about twenty minutes until Dean could see the church in the distance. It looked the same as any other he had seen, the building was large and grey and had a lot of trees around it, it looked boring. There were row upon row of cars and people filing inside. Cas parked up close the entrance and they all climbed out. Dean nervously straightened his tie and shouldered his bag with his books in. The priest was stood at the entrance greeting people as they walked in. They joined the others on the sidewalk.

“That your dad?” He muttered.

“Yes.” Dean plastered on a big smile for when they arrived at the door.

“Ah, a new face.” The Priest smiled kindly. He chapped his hands together and turned to Dean.

“Hello, my name is Dean and this is my little brother Sam, Castiel invited us to your service, we’re excited to be here.” He shook his hand enthusiastically. 

“It’s nice to see new faces here, I hope everyone makes you feel very welcome! Do you two know each other from school?” He looked between Cas and Dean expectantly.

“We just moved here a couple of months ago, we’re in the same study circles.” He nodded along with fake interest.

“Lovely, I’ve certainly seen you before.” He let go and Dean’s hand and turned to Sam. “How are you Samuel?” Sam grinned. 

“I’m very well, thank you sir.” He replied and Dean sighed in relief that he didn’t say anything stupid.

“Well, Castiel, take your friends inside, I’m sure there will be spaces saved in the front.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Gabriel shuffled behind them and encouraged them forward. They filed into the third row at the front. There were books and bags scattered on the seats, Anna closest to the inside of the isle and Jo sat next to her. They waved at him and Jo bounced in her seat slightly. Cas ushered Gabe and Sam in first and Cas let Dean sit on the end, nearest to the wall which was a few meters away. Cas shoved his bag on the floor and held his books on his lap. He stared at Dean pointedly and he did the same. 

“The blue stickers are for today, I wrote numbers on them so you know the order to open them.” He muttered to him speaking to his lap. Dean looked at both the books and noticed what he meant. He could do that, it was easy. Cas hooked his foot around Dean’s ankle under the seat. He took a deep breath and felt calmer from the small gesture. There was a lot of people shaking hands and laughing together as they found their seats. The quiet chatter slowly sizzled out.

Dean gripped his books tight and stared up at the front when Cas’ dad stepped up to a platform, trying with all of his might to pay attention. The first five minutes were pleasantries, welcoming everyone back and wishing prayers to a few sick people. There were also congratulations to be given to a couple who were expecting a baby. Then they began the opening prayer. Dean swallowed thickly and wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He glanced to his side to Cas, he had his head bowed and his hands on his knees. He quickly clasped his together and closed his eyes, it felt weird not to. He opened his eyes after a chorus of ‘Amen’.

Next there was a reading and he heard a pages turning from a few directions in the church. He flipped to the first little number one and opened it. Cas smiled proudly at him. He glanced around, not everyone was reading along but he could see the ones who were looked dressed for the occasion and clearly took it very seriously.

It was stuffy in the church, the heating turned up high and he at least wanted to undo his top buttons but he didn’t dare to. He realised he had zoned out and he cursed himself, it was just so boring, he couldn’t help it. Everyone was standing and Anna was sat at the piano-thingy and Cas flicking through his hymn book. Dean stood and placed his bible on his seat and fumbled looking for the right page in his book. He was just in time and the opening notes sounded around the room. It was really loud.

He tried to sing along the best he could and thankfully he couldn’t hear himself over everyone else. He couldn’t read music so he struggled with the tune. He stuttered his way through the song in places but kept his back straight and a confident smile on his face. He could hear Cas next to him, singing his heart out. His voice was very different to what he expected but he was unsurprised to hear he could sing really well. He had heard him before but never this loud and carefree. When the song finished Cas beamed at him before he turned his attention back to the front. He could tell he was really passionate about this, he looked happy reading along. 

Gabriel looked bored and him and Sam were kicking each other. He sent Sam a death glare. He didn’t need that dick screwing everything up for him. Sam realised he had been caught and froze. “I will kill you.” He mouthed to him and the young man looked down and pretended to read through the book in front of him.

The time seemed to drag by and even though he was bored out of his mind he did everything to make Cas happy. It was actually really simple, listen, read, sing, pray and repeat. After a while he stopped looking at the clock and found himself actually reading along to some of the passages. It was easy once he had figured out what all the little numbers meant above the paragraphs in his bible. Castiel was becoming increasingly happy and looked a giddier every time Dean did something right. I made him smile, he was kind of proud of himself.

Cas nudged him softly some time later and for a second he thought he was going to be told off but he leant in and whispered into his ear. “Do you need the toilet?”

He turned to him. “What?” What was he talking about? “No.” He whispered back and focused back on the small print, he had lost in place now.

“It’s okay, I’ll show you were it is.” Cas took the book off his and placed it with his own on the gap between him and his brother.

“But I don’t-“ Cas turned to Gabriel and Anna (who was back in her seat at the end of the row again). “I’m just taking Dean to the toilet.” Gabriel gave him thumbs up and then Cas practically shoved him out of his seat. They walked along the wall and to the back of the church and slipped through an open door to the left, then up the corridor. Cas gripped his sleeve and lead him through a curtain and into a door that said ‘Private’. Dean didn’t know what he expected but he had actually taken him to a set of toilets.

“Cas I don’t need the toilet.” He was ignored and pulled into one of the two cubicals. He pushed him up against the door and smirked at him.

“What are you doing?” He gasped as Cas started sucking on his neck.

“You’re so fucking hot, you look unbelievable in that suit and I can’t believe you are doing this for me.” He was whispering against his skin and rubbing himself all over Dean. “Please I just-“ Dean was very aware they were in a church and it wasn’t really the best place to be doing this kind of thing.

“What are you doing?” He whispered. Cas dropped to his knees as Dean watched him. His pulse quickened rapidly and he softly gasped. Was he actually doing this here? He had a weird sense of de ja vu. The library was bad enough... Here? With hundreds of people just down that corridor, including his dad. Erm....

“Oh my god, what the hell?!” He hissed, trying to keep his voice down. He went to pull away but realised he was stuck against the door. Cas was busy unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers, opening them enough to press his face against Dean’s soft cock through his boxers. He pulled away slightly and rubbed his hand over it, his lip caught between his teeth as he watched himself touch Dean. He glanced up, his blue eyes full of excitement. He could feel himself start to swell against his friend’s hand. His own hands were gripping the edges of the door. “You can’t do this here!” He was trying to think logically before this got out of control but Cas was smiling up at him and it was making his dick twitch. God damn those pretty blues.

“It’s no more a sin in here, Dean.” Was his cheeky response. That wasn’t what he was worried about... 

This was so going to happen. He knew Cas was gonna have a smart ass answer for anything he said anyway.

“They’ll hear us.” He tried. Cas rolled his eyes and responded by pulling his dick out of his boxers, his right hand wrapped firmly around it. He leant forwards and kissed the head of it, slowly opening his mouth and pressing his tongue against the slit, he watched Dean the entire time. 

Yeah, that was a pretty good answer and he couldn’t win against that.

Dean bit his lip, fuck, if there was a hell he was going. He wanted to tell him no but he wasn’t thinking right after that. He would be mad to leave now. He ground his teeth together. His mouth fell open as Cas’ mouth left him and he sat back on his heels. 

Surely he wasn’t going to stop after all that?

“Wait, one sec.” He licked his lips.

“What are we-“ Music erupted impossibly loud behind them and the sound of singing flooded the room. The little shit knew that-

Cas leant forward and swallowed around him, taking him in as deep as he could.

“Ohhhhh, fuck!” He moaned, the sound was out of his mouth before he could even stop it. His hands flew to the back of Cas’ head and held him there, his eyes screwed shut at the sensation. That was really, really good. He could feel every swipe of Cas tongue, every twitch of his throat. He was hot and wet and eager as he sucked around him hard. He felt Cas’ throat begin to close around him and he let go as he came back to his senses. “Sorry, babe.” He muttered, he didn’t know if he heard him over the music. 

His hands flew back to the door and he tried not to touch him again, not trusting himself. He expected Cas to cough or to pull off but he didn’t, his mouth was back on him and sucking him back down deep, his tongue dancing on the underside of his cock. He looked down again, watching his thick length slide in and out of his mouth as Cas bobbed his head slowly. He swallowed him all the way down until he hit the back of the throat and then all the way up to the head where he tortured slit. He took a deep breath.

His moans clashed with Castiel’s who was humming in pleasure around him and smiling around the length in his mouth. He looked pleased at the state of awe he had reduced him to. Dean’s knees trembled under Cas’ attention. He let his eyes fall shut. Cas’ hands were back at his waist band and pulling at his trousers. He pushed his ass away from the door slightly and felt the material slip down and then his bare ass was against the wood.

Cas pushed at his left knee, forcing him to open his legs a little more, it felt less like he was going to collapse. His clothes were pulled further down and caught on his knees. Dean whimpered as Cas’ mouth left him, seconds later he was being kissed down his shaft and across his balls. Castiel gripped him again, the circle of his fist tight as he stroked up and down his swollen flesh, wanking him hard and fast. His grip was firmer than the tight suction from his mouth and pushed him further towards the edge. He moaned loudly and bucked his hips. He leant more against the door for support, Cas’ hand disappeared and he sobbed and bit his lip.

He let himself breath for a second, with Cas’ hands off him he could think clearly for a moment. He was gasping and his hands itching to grab him and make him finish what he started. He was fighting the instinct, every fibre in his body was telling him to fuck into Cas’ mouth and the image played on repeat behind his eyelids. He didn’t wait for long, the heat soon surrounded him again and he gave into the temptation and tangled his fingers into Cas’ hair and thrust forwards sharply. He knew Cas could take it. He was desperate to cum, he needed it, he could feel himself racing there impossibly fast with every thrust, every time he felt himself stuff Cas’ mouth full of his cock. He panted harshly, his legs started to tremble. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck! He slid down the door a few inches and he was slapped back into reality because Cas’ mouth slipped off him as he almost collapsed.

Castiel massaged the inside of his leg, his fingers playing higher across his skin. He pressed a wet finger gently against Dean’s hole and rubbed. His eyes flew open and any self restraint he had was lost, he cried out, the sensations streaming through him were pushing the air out of him. He was no longer in control of his own body, he was desperate. “Oh, Cas, ohmyGod, I-“ He babbled and begged, his voice hoarse from moaning and sounding obscene against the singing. “Please, please.” He didn’t know whether to grind against his fingers or buck into his mouth. He ended up squirming under the double stimulation. He hovered on the edge of his release, holding back his orgasm until he couldn’t anymore. “Cas, I’m gonna cum, baby, I-“ Cas responded by bending his finger slightly and pushing inside at the same time as deep throating him. “Oh FUCK.” He yelled, his hands pulling at Cas’ hair unintentionally as he came in his mouth. At that moment the music stopped and Dean tried to quieten his breathing. He sobbed gently in the aftershock, overwhelmed. 

“I do hope you’re proposing in there, Cassy.” A british voice announced loudly. Cas swallowed loudly as he pulled back in panic and choked, coughing forcefully and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Dean had never moved so quickly in his life, he was at the opposite end of the stall, dancing on the spot to pull his things back up. Cas shot to his feet and was out of the cubical before Dean could even blink.

“Balthazar!” He would have sounded threatening if not for the fact he was choking on Dean’s cum.

“Kinky.” Was the reply. 

Dean was mortified and sat down on the toilet lid, his knees still shaking and his face beet red.

“What are you doing here?!” Cas hissed, sounding venomous. 

Dean hid his face in his hands, he dare not emerge from the toilet.

“Thought I was missing all the fun, obviously I was right.” He sounded delighted.

“Shut up and go away. And keep your mouth shut as well.”

“Calm down, Cassie, I’ll keep your dirty little secret. Now move out the way, I need to pee.”

“Go use the other toilets.”

“Why would I do that when there’s a free show in here. How clichéd. The rebellious priests’ son-“

“Bas!” 

The British douche had the nerve to cackle.

“Right, keep your knickers on, if you’re wearing any!” Dean frowned and shifted awkwardly as he was forced to listen to Balthazar pee. He didn’t leave easily either, he made a few more jabs before he had even washed his hands. “Oh, Cassy, I suggest a breath mint too, people will think you’ve been-“ There was a bang and a yelp, Cas had pushed him out the room finally. He could hear a muffled, “Just sayin’.” He left it a few seconds before he walked out and stared at Cas, embarrassed. 

“No more public sex, I think I just died in there.”

“He won’t tell.” Dean sighed.

“Let’s go back, we have half an hour left.” Dean really didn’t feel like being in a crowded room after that. He took a deep breath, straightened up and made his way back with Cas. They slipped back in easily bit Balthazar spent the rest of the service burning a hole in the back of his head.


	27. Chapter Twelve - Part One

Cas and Dean parted awkwardly at the gate after the service, Balthazar followed them with Anna and made wild innuendos that Dean hoped were flying over everyone’s heads. He had never wanted to kill someone so much in his life. The only reason he wasn’t pulling him to one side and making sure he stayed quiet about it was because he was Cas’ friend and it would just upset him. It was their own fault they had been caught anyway, they shouldn’t be doing stuff like that in a church, well, in public at all, but Cas just knew how to make him bend to do what he wanted. He was so fucking whipped and they weren’t even official. And besides, they didn’t really have a good track record at being discreet, this whole thing had started in the freaking shower rooms at school. In the middle of a lesson. What was his life anymore? At least it wasn’t boring.

 

He stood listening to the idle chatter between Anna and Balthazar while he waited for Gabriel and Sam to appear. Cas was looking at him like he wanted to say something but he remained quiet and Dean didn’t dare stand too close to him anyway. Balthazar giggled every time he looked between the two of them, then wiggled his eyebrows. Dean saw Castiel kick him more than a few times. Gabriel dawdled down the steps about five minutes later with Sam close behind.

 

“Where have you been?” Sam shrugged and walked off down the sidewalk, not bothering to say goodbye. Gabriel climbed straight into Anna’s car. (“Do I really have to drive you , why are you in _my_ car?”) Cas sighed deeply and fiddled with his keys.

 

“Do you want a ride home?” He looked at Dean sympathetically. It seemed both of their brothers were in rotten moods.

 

“No, Sam wanted to go to the mall on the way back.” He should have mentioned it earlier but he had been so busy worrying about what to wear and say that he had forgotten. He should really spend some more time with Sam, maybe that’s why he was in a mood? Also he couldn’t be bothered to listen to his bitching. Cas smiled at him sweetly before he left and it gave him butterflies and he wished he could kiss him goodbye but there was just no chance. Balthazar grinned, knowing what was going through their heads and Dean wished he would fuck off for two minutes. He settled for patting his shoulder awkwardly.

 

“Call me later, okay?” Castiel nodded slowly and Balthazar shook his hand, his grip was a little firm.

 

“All kidding aside, he never shuts up about you, just don’t screw it up, he can do so much better than you.” Dean bit his tongue and smiled sarcastically. He watched Cas and Anna get into their cars, Balthazar ran to catch up and then rode shotgun with Cas. He tried to push down the feeling of jealousy in his stomach, Balthazar didn’t stand a chance with Cas anyway, he wasn’t interested. As soon as the doors where shut he could see Balthazar laughing like a maniac and Castiel’s face deep red in embarrassment, he yelled as they pulled out the space and drove off. Anna and Gabriel were fighting as well. He could not be bothered to do this, he looked down the street, Sam was sat on a wall at the end. He best sort out what the hell was wrong with his baby brother. He ran to catch to catch him up.

 

“Do we have to do this every week? It was so boring.” He greeted, Dean rolled his eyes and kicked a stone as they walked down the street. Sam was such a pain in the ass.

 

“Quit bitching, they’re your friends too, we should take an interest in what they like. It’s once a week, it won’t kill you.” He answered, which was kind of true. If this was why he was in a mood then it was pathetic, it was only a short service and he got to hang out with Gabriel which he couldn’t normally do on a Sunday.

 

“I could be at home.” He shot back. Yeah, sat in front of the computer and playing World of Legends or whatever it was, that wasn’t good for him, he needed to get some fresh air or something.

 

“You play too many games, you’re such a loser.” Dean complained, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Look, are you okay? You’ve not been yourself all morning and-“

 

“It’s nothing, just a disagreement between me and Gabriel.” Sam muttered, talking to the floor.

 

“You’ve fallen out?” They seemed to get on so well, he wondered what they could have ‘disagreed’ about. They would probably get over it soon enough, they were being civil so it couldn’t be that bad. He still worried a bit though, Sam didn’t have any friends apart from Gabriel, he hoped they would fix whatever the problem was soon.

 

“What happened to no chick-flick moments?”

 

“Fine, I was only trying to help. Forget it.” If Sam didn’t want his help then fine, he wouldn’t give it. He had his own hit to deal with anyway, like the fact Balthazar had caught Cas on his knees. Fuck. His clothes were still uncomfortable and he realised they were far enough away from the church that he could undo his shirt without worrying he would look scruffy. He undid the first few buttons and loosened his tie. That felt much better. He still felt a bit sticky from earlier, no doubt there was drying come stuck to his pubes. That was just gross; he was going to kill Cas the next time he got him alone. He shifted uncomfortably. Why did he think about these things when Sam was next to him, he wished his brain would just stop being so inappropriate.

 

“Hey, Dean!” He spun around and saw Jo running towards them, he stopped and waited for her to catch up. She skipped to his side and then grabbed onto his arm and they started walking again. They got on a lot better since the whole party dilemma and the visit to The Road House. Since then he had found out she was quite a hands on person, not in a weird way but she liked to link arms or to hug when saying hello or goodbye. He didn’t mind, she had got over her little crush (from what he could tell) and now they got on great.

 

“Hey, you alright?” He asked and smiled down at her.

 

“It was nice to see you at church, I didn’t know you were interested… and Anna and myself were just wondering if you wanted to be part of our fundraiser?” She smiled at him sickly sweet like a little sister trying to get her own way with something. He stared at her blankly, he had no idea what she was talking about anyway. “You know, it’s Christmas soon!” She looked at him like it should be obvious, it really wasn’t. Cas hadn’t mentioned a fundraiser and come to think of it, neither had Anna and he had just been stood with her for ten minutes. “Every year we hold a giant fair and raise money for the locals who need help.” Oh, like charity? He remembered Bobby saying something about this a month or so ago, about how the Milton’s were a pain in the ass trying to get everyone involved. Fundraising? That couldn’t be too bad, right? And it might surprise Cas to see him helping out, maybe he hadn’t mentioned it because he thought he wouldn’t be interested? “We did face painting last year, you know for the kids, but we wanted to do an auction this year.” That sounded easy, how difficult could an auction be? He guessed he could help out with whatever they needed. It was for charity after all.

 

“I don’t really know a lot about auctions but I guess I can give you a hand if you need it.” He agreed finally. Jo bounced in excitement and was practically pulling his arm off.

 

“Ouch, ouch…” He pushed her gently off.

 

“Thank you!” She squealed. “I can’t wait to tell Anna, I _knew_ you would help!” She exclaimed knowingly, looking far too happy for Dean’s liking. Jo was really strange sometimes.

 

“You’re welcome?” He wasn’t quite sure what he had just let himself in for.

 

“How did you not know about this Dean?” Sam butted in, he had been so quiet Dean had almost forgotten he was there. Then again, he was staring down at his phone and his thumbs dancing across it quickly, probably arguing over text with Gabriel, he didn’t know anyone else Sam would text.

 

“Well no-one mentioned it to me. You see Gabriel more than I see Cas, believe it or not. And we don’t normally talk about church and stuff.”

 

“Well you must talk about it enough because I spent the morning in one.”

 

“Shut it, you cheeky little shit-” Dean pointed at him warningly. Why did he have to embarrass him in front of his friends all the time? He didn’t embarrass Sam in front of Gabriel.

 

“Anyyyway.” He interrupted, not at all fazed by Dean threatening him. “Me and Gabriel are going to bake cupcakes.” Dean looked alarmed at his brother who had once blown up the microwave making spaghetti.

 

“Really?” He asked, surprised. Sam frowned and punched him in the arm. “Ouch, bitch!” Dean yelled, reaching for hm.

 

“Jerk.”

 

“Quit it you two!” They scuffled around for a minute, Dean attempted to get Sam in a headlock and give him a noogie, just because he was taller didn’t mean he couldn’t take it. He would always be ‘little brother’ to Dean no matter how tall he grew. Jo pushed Sam away and pulled at Dean. Eventually she stood in the middle of them to keep them apart. They all laughed about it for a few minutes, Sam seemed to perk up a bit. “I was also wondering if you wanted to come to the bar with me? You can call your Uncle and we can all have lunch, we said we would do it again but we never did.”

 

“I don’t see why not.” Dean shot a questioning look at Sam who shrugged, not looking bothered at all if they did or didn’t go. He hadn’t made any plans for the rest of the day and it would probably take his mind off a few things. Namely the fact that Balthazar was sat with Cas right now. He could use a distraction.

 

* * *

 

 

The distraction had worked, Bobby had been enthusiastic about the idea and Sam soon forgot about his bad mood, they didn’t go to the mall in the end but Dean guessed it didn’t matter. After they had finished eating and had a drink, Dean went with Jo to the park, Sam and Bobby were playing pool and decided not to go which was fortunate. It had been such a long time since Dean had done something so childish but rocking lightly on the swing and just talking had been really nice. They had talked about a lot of things, reminisced about their childhood, memoires coming back quickly, Jo even talked about Mary, she remembered she would make them lemonade in the summer. It had taken her a few weeks to realise that the new kid at school was the same little boy she used to have water fights with in The Road House car park after school. It made Dean feel a little sentimental towards Jo but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t remember those things.

 

“So… Castiel? You two sorted things out yet? You know he’s crazy about you right?” She asked and he nodded, he knew. Cas had told him after all, confessed it in a vulnerable moment. He didn’t regret what they had done on Friday, they had been drunk and happy and lost in the feel of each other. He just hadn’t expected _that_. He wanted to change the subject, he didn’t want to discuss something so personal with Jo. It didn’t feel right. “Fine, fine, we won’t talk about that. OH! I know what I’ve been meaning to tell you for ages, you know Ruby?” Yes, Dean knew Ruby, the little bitch that she was, he was still a bit sore about her taking advantage of Sam.

 

“What about her?” He answered.

 

“She’s been saying some things, about Sam....” She trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

 

“What things?” He turned to look at her and she shrugged with one shoulder. She looked pretty, the evening light making her skin glow. She was still wearing the dress she had worn to church this morning, she was wearing a pair of sneakers on her feet instead of the dolly shoes she donned this morning. He liked the way it looked and at one time Dean would have found it attractive but as he looked at her he realised he really did only have eyes for Cas. He took a deep breath, even talking about Sam now, he just couldn’t get Cas out of his head.

 

“Just stuff, I told her to back off but she’s just being a bitch, I didn’t want to say anything but I don’t know if it’s going to start causing trouble for him.” Dean was glad she had said something; he had no idea Ruby was still stuck on what had happened at the party too. He had thought she would just pretend it didn’t happen but if she was going to torment Sam then that wasn’t fair. He would just have to keep an eye on her. He didn’t want rumours flying around about his brother. He pulled his phone out and texted Castiel.

 

**_If you hear anything about Ruby saying something about Sam, let me know, Jo thinks she’s causing trouble. X_ **

****

He was a little disappointed that Cas hadn’t texted him all day, or even called him and he stared at his phone waiting for a reply but he didn’t get one.

 

“Are you sure you sorted things out with him, you look confused again.” Dean half smiled at her, he just didn’t know anymore.

 

* * *

 

When Dean lay in bed that night he felt exhausted. It was nice to spend some time with his family even though they were completely crazy. They hadn’t got home until past nine o’clock, him and Jo had sat at the park until he had to give her his jacket because it was cold and then they strolled back to the bar and played darts. Bobby was more than merry by the end of the night and Dean drove them all home. He still hadn’t heard from Cas and he stared longingly at the pictures on his phone. He was still thinking about those three words, Cas hadn't said them again but he didn't feel like he needed to, it had been said. The way he had sobbed them out and clung to Dean had really touched him, it felt like a heartfelt confession, deep and meaningful and he only hoped he hadn’t taken it back. They hadn't spoken about it at all, not like they had been the most conversational people the past few days. Saturday they lounged around hugging most the day, not a lot of words exchanged but it was comfortable and today had just been strange.

 

The thing about all of this was that he had just sorted out his head and now he felt a mess again. It was one thing touching a man and another to love one. But _oh_ , he wanted to love Castiel, love him as much as it was possible to love another person. But what did that mean for him? He had always figured that they would be friends, that they would fool around until.... When exactly? What did he expect? He was just kidding himself. He liked guys, he was gay (or something?) and he loved his best friend. But he wasn't sure if he really did love Cas. Maybe he just loved the idea of loving him? This was what he had wanted to avoid, being so confused again. Sexuality was complicated and he was finding it hard to put himself into a box. If there was someone in the world that he trusted with something as important as his heart then it was Cas, kind and beautiful and hardworking Cas. The guy who made him feel things he was sure were reserved for soppy romance novels, the one that made him think about things he had never even considered.

 

He sighed.

 

The more he thought about it the more he could feel the pressure of his need for people's approval weighing down in him. With these feelings, like possibly/maybe being totally head over heels for his very-male-best-friend came consequences. Came homophobia and judgement and a whole load of crap that he wasn't ready to face. He didn't even want to think about it anymore, it made his head hurt. He rolled over and groaned into his pillow, trying his best to just forget all about it and fall to sleep.


	28. Chapter Twelve - Part Two

 

Dean jerked upright in bed, his breathing laboured and a dark fear overpowering him, the relief of being awake was astounding. He closed his eyes, squeezing them tight and trying to ground himself again, he held back a sob. He took big gulps of air, so grateful it was all just a dream. He couldn’t remember what had scared him so much and he wasn’t going to look too deeply into it either. He calmed himself and then lay back down, he felt disorientated and hoped it wasn’t time to get up yet, he didn’t feel rested at all. He felt around under his pillow for his phone and squinted when it lit up brightly in his face. It was just gone midnight, there were no missed call from Castiel. He frowned. He was a little concerned about it but he brushed it off. He would see him in the morning.

 

* * *

 

 

"You did well yesterday, my mom asked 'who the dapper young man' was." Cas grinned and bumped his shoulder playfully as they walked and then ducked as a football flew over their heasd. They were walking to Dean's home room even though Cas' classroom was on the other side if the building. The halls were just as annoying crowded as they usually were so they could have a private conversation without the worry of being overheard, the screaming from the idiots around them made sure of that. Dean didn't call Cas out on walking him to class like he was a girl or something because he actually liked it. He smiled, proud of himself, he was glad that his hard work had paid off yesterday because he had been shitting himself the entire time, especially with Cas' impromptu blowjob, he had worried all day about Balthazar saying something.

 

Cas’ silence about them getting caught was kind of frustrating, he hadn’t mentioned anything Balthazar had said or why he hadn’t called last night. He had thought they would talk about it, he was determined there would be no more public sex; Bobby had given them permission to stay at his so why were they fumbling around everywhere? They were just tempting fate. Normally Cas had some kind of reasoning behind not calling but Dean figured he was just embarrassed. He just hoped he wasn’t trying to hide anything.

 

He had started to notice a pattern with Castiel that he didn’t like, he bottled up a lot of crap and if he had a problem he kept quiet about it and suffered in silence. Sometimes it was something small such as a chem test, then other times he ended up exploding over his long kept repressed feelings, like the time he had punched Luke. Then last week he had cried and told Dean he loved him. Maybe he was just as confused and afraid as Dean? They really needed to talk about it but he didn’t know how to breach the subject and school was certainly not the place to do it. It would have to be the weekend, a whole five days away. He needed them to have a considerable amount of time together to get everything out in the open, not a spare hour at lunch or on the phone after work. He wasn’t going to mention any of this to Cas, he didn’t need any extra stress at the moment. And really, he did seem very happy today. He was just glad that out of everything yesterday, he had done something right and Cas’ mom had gave him a compliment, he had never thought anyone would call him dapper.

 

"Yeah? Good, what else did she say?" He was genuinely curious, he hadn't even spotted Cas’ mom once while he was there, they hadn't been introduced. In a way he wanted Cas' mom to like him.

 

"I just stuck to our usual story, we are in the same study groups and we met at school, I also mentioned that Sam was your little brother because obviously their paths have crossed a few times and I think she’s quite fond of Sam. She asked if I had invited you to join our bible study group but I said you study independently, don’t worry.” He liked Cas a lot but he didn’t like him enough to go to a bible study class, he had seen his notes far too many times and it seemed pointless and more than intimidating. That was not his idea of fun.

 

"Good because I don't love you that much!" He laughed, the words slipping out before he realised what he had said. He abruptly stopped laughing and coughed. Cas stared at him strangely and looked a little embarrassed. His body language closed off and he retreated into himself, becoming shy. Oh wow, it was suddenly really awkward. He didn't know what to say now. Why had he said that? Why had he made a big deal out of saying it? He needed to just stop thinking about that for a while.

 

"Did you do your Latin homework?" Dean was glad of the change of subject and he cursed; he had completely forgotten with everything that had happened. "Of course you haven't, I guess I'll help you at break."

 

“Erg, and we have gym today, I can’t be bothered, Mondays are the worst.”

 

* * *

 

 

It turned out Dean was going to have a bad day, he forgot his history notes and then all three of his pens ran out, Mr. Crowley was less than impressed. Luckily the guy who sat next to him, Kevin, gave him another and he thanked him. He didn’t often speak to him, Kevin was very quiet and seemed to just get on with it and every time he tried Kevin either ignored him or indicated he was working. Dean spent the rest of his history class slumped down in his chair to make himself as small as possible. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for double gym either. Whose idea was it to put two sports lessons back to back, anyway? They should be shot. He ran out at the end of class in his usual fashion and then disappeared straight into the shower room. Castiel wasn’t there yet.

 

“I have a present for you by the way.” He jumped.

 

“Warn a guy.” Dean muttered and held his chest in alarm, Cas had given him a fright.

 

“What?” Cas had never really got him a present before, he wondered what it could be.

 

“Not physically, I have a little revenge planned for you. I know how upset about the whole Ruby/Sam thing that I decided to plot some revenge.” He turned around to look at him and Cas smiled manically, looking extremely pleased with himself. He was pleasantly surprised. Revenge?

 

“What did you do?” He said suspiciously, Cas was grinning from ear to ear and obviously itching to tell Dean what he had done. He dropped his bag and started changing, he undone his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt, Dean looked away. He was determined to behave and not to do anything he shouldn’t. Yesterday had really worried him so he was keeping his eyes to himself, not even bothering to look while he knew Cas was half undressed behind him. Self-control was a bitch.

 

“Well I set up a program to copy her internet history, what else? She searches for some interesting things at school.” Dean snuck a glance back to see he was fairly decent and he raised an eyebrow at him, sneaky, he liked it. “Of course I might have accidentally set it so it shows up on the projector from Mr. Lindberg’s laptop when we are in class today... ” Dean tried not to smile but that was too damn funny. “And…”

 

“And?”

 

“I had a play around with photoshop.” He couldn’t help it, he laughed. He could not wait to see what Cas had in store for Ruby.

 

“You’re terrible, don’t get into trouble for my sake.”

 

“Oh, do you want me to stop the program then? Since you are having a sudden bout of morality.” He mocked sarcastically. Dean was really struggling not to kiss him again. When he smiled that that it was impossible not to, he just grinned and looked away.  “It might knock her off that high horse of hers, I didn’t want to say anything but I _had_ heard her saying things bout Sam, Gabriel told me and I just feel like she needs to shut up. This approach will be best, there’s no proof who it was.” Dean took a few deep breaths to gain control over his impulse to ravish Cas against the wall, him talking like that was making it difficult. Apparently Dean had some kind of kink when Cas had this whole righteous-cocky-sarcastic attitude. Or maybe it was because he was doing something he shouldn’t... Great, now he was thinking all sorts of things.

 

“Thank you.” He said finally. He leant back against the wall and watched as Cas slipped his trousers down his legs, he was wearing purple boxers again, they were Dean’s favourite. He guessed it wouldn’t hurt to look as long as he kept his hands to himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Things were really starting to look up for Dean, his dad called every day that week and they talked for longer every time. His dad told them all about South Africa and Cape Town where he often went with his friends. He was due to come and visit on December the first, three weeks away, and he would be staying until just before New Year. He had gathered some extra holiday time because he was working on Saturdays so he had booked off both boys’ birthdays and to Dean’s utter shock, his graduation. He had never made such an effort in his life and it gave him a lot of hope for the future. Maybe things would be okay?

 

Dean and Cas had got their revenge on Ruby. After the initial shock, and through the laughter of her classmates, she had run to the front of the class and tried to turn it off. Ash hadn’t been any help what so ever, he had ‘accidently’ froze the computer as he tried to shut down the program. If he knew it was Castiel that had done it he didn’t say but he did wink at him at the end of class. Ruby knew Dean had something to do with it, she turned and glared straight at him. He just smiled and waved . Nothing more came of it and Gabriel told Cas, (who told Dean) that there hadn’t been anything else said.

 

On Tuesday daytime he went to see the guidance councillor about his grades and what he would need to get into local colleges. She went through a lot of things with him, a lot of it Cas had already explained so he didn’t feel like an idiot when she asked him if he understood. The thing he was missing a lot of was extracurricular, the only thing he did at school was Latin on Monday lunch times, that looked good because it was an extra credit language but he needed something else. She recommended the school newspaper or the writers club, Student President was coming up soon and there was an array of sports clubs he could join. Currently he was very average and there was not a lot that was making him stand out, the only thing that was a bit different about him was that he worked as a part-time mechanic but he wasn’t even fully qualified to do that. He had just passed Bobby’s basic training that he had to do every six months but at least that was something. He left with a folder containing all the local college’s entry requirements, a list of extracurricular and his current and predicted grades for that year.

 

 He went straight to Cas knowing he would make some light out of this. He was hiding the library as usual; he didn’t even bother checking anywhere else. He couldn’t find him at first and it turned out he was in the office. He was consoling a crying freshman girl, awkwardly holding out tissues to her and patting her back nervously. Dean pulled faces against the glass until Mr. Shurley kicked him out, scolding him lightly and then trying himself not to laugh at the distressed look on Castiel’s face.

 

They never got to talk about it because in the evening Cas had bible studies with Balthazar but he drove to see him at work after he was done. They made out in Bobby’s office, Cas had lifted Dean onto the desk and held him a close as physically possible. They kissed for so long that Dean started to feel light headed and he got stubble burn from Cas around his lips. Eventually Bobby got sick of being kicked out his own office and barged in declaring: “I don’t give a single fuck what you are doing in here but Dean, you need to get back to work.” Dean lowered his legs from Cas’ hips awkwardly and wiped his mouth, his face beet red and realising for the first time they had been in there forty-five minutes. Cas grinned and disappeared quickly, staring at the floor as he walked out with a huge smile on his face. Bobby teased Dean for an hour before he got bored of it. When he got home Dean traced his lips in the mirror, feeling the fullness of them from Castiel’s kisses. He touched the irritated skin, he knew it would be gone by tomorrow but he couldn’t help but think about what it would feel like on his thighs.

 

Things with Cas were better, he started calling Dean more instead of just before bed. This made him all kinds of happy. All the while Dean could hear Anna and his mom talking in the background, it was something so simple: talking in front of his mom, not hiding him, it was nice. Dean hoped it would make a difference; it certainly made him feel better. He didn’t mention wanting to talk about what had happened at the weekend, those three words or The Church Incident (as he had started referring to it in his head). He decided to just act when he felt it was right.

 

Every day after school they had seen each other, some days they got coffee and walked pointlessly around and other’s they did homework together at Cas’ insistence. Though he was very thankful because Cas drew him up a study plan and helped him figure out what all of his weakest subjects were. He knew what he needed to do get prepared for college now.

 

Wednesday they revised Latin for three hours in the town library, Dean had been reluctantly dragged and was cautious because he had never been inside before but it was okay in the end. Cas was a total dork and was on first name basis with pretty much every member of staff, it was cute and kind of hilarious that Cas was oblivious to one of the girl’s that was blatantly crushing on him. “See that’s two people in the past week I’ve noticed, I thought you said no-one ever noticed you?” 

 

“No-one _I like_ noticed me before.” He looked up from his book, they were sat side by side instead of opposite each other, their hands clasped in the middle and Dean’s hand and wrist tingling as Cas sometimes tickled across it.

 

“And what about me?” He whispered, looking down at Cas’ lips. He felt beyond close to Cas this week, he wished there was something they could do to show how much he cared about him. He wanted to be with him all the time. He didn’t know it was possible to be so close to another person yet still yearn for more.

 

“We both know how I feel about you, Dean.” He whispered and squeezed his hand again. It was an odd sort of pleasure that ran through him, he felt like a light was shining in his chest.

 

Then on Thursday evening, everything went to hell.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean was sat watching junk on the TV, well, he wasn’t really watching it. He was slumped on the couch blissed out on the time he had spent with Cas. Sam came and sat next to him looking more awkward than usual and distracted him from his thoughts.

 

“What’s up with you?” He asked after Sam stared at him nervously for about five minutes. He was starting to freak him out.

 

“Me and Gabe, we argued this week.” He sat up and frowned. He had forgotten all about Sam mentioning it on Sunday. He had been a bit inconsiderate not to ask again. He waited for him to continue, Sam didn’t open up often and when he did it was normally something that was important or that had been playing on his mind, so he listened. And when he had thought Cas had fell out with him over leaving his wallet in the car, Sam had been there whether he wanted him to be or not. He should have been there for Sam this week and he hadn’t been.

 

“Sorry, man, have you two made up yet?” Sam nodded slowly and looked like he was trying to phrase something in his head. He opened his mouth a few times and then closed it. This speech was an obviously rehearsed one. What the hell was he trying to say?

 

“We didn’t really fall out, we had a disagreement.” He started, twisting his hands together anxiously in his lap.

 

“Well?” He prompted. Whatever was bothering him had a serious effect on Sammy , he wasn’t even this nervous at exam time.

 

“He seems to have the idea that you and Cas are…” Him and Cas are what? Dean swallowed thickly, he didn’t like where this conversation was going. Sam stared down at his knees. He started to feel nervous, why had he mentioned Cas? Was Sam insinuating…? He pushed the idea away, surely… how would he know? “I told him he was being stupid but I watched you and your different, you treat him like he’s… special or something. And then the other night, I know he was here.” It all came out in a rush but he still caught every word. Sam looked at him then and Dean’s face must have said it all, he could feel it growing hot, whether in embarrassment, anger or humiliation, he didn’t know. He was feeling a lot of things in that moment and a painful lump formed in his throat. His eyes started burning. He hadn’t tried hard enough to be quiet, he knew the walls were thin but he was too busy thinking with his dick and Sam had heard them. This was really not a good day. Sam reached out and tried to grab his hand. Dean pulled it away.

 

“I-“ His mind raced, he tried to figure out a way to get out of this, to deny it and turn it all into a joke. He wasn’t ready for this. Sam couldn’t know! And even worse, Gabriel knew! What if he told Cas’ parents? His vision was blurring and it made him angry, he didn’t need to cry over this, why was he crying? He roughly rubbed the tracks off his cheeks and took a deep breath.

 

“You know I love you no matter what.” Dean was full of nerves, the words were stuck in his throat and he could feel his hands start to tremble. Sam looked at him sympathetically. He didn’t need his pity. He didn’t even want to look at Sam’s face anymore, didn’t want to see the disappointment or the resentment for who he was.

 

Hands trembling and breath hitching as he tried to hold back an onslaught of tears Dean walked out and ran to his room, he didn’t want to talk about it.

 

“Dean?” He could hear Sam follow him up the stairs but he just moved faster, determined not to break down in front of his brother. He slammed his door and slid the lock into place, sinking down the door and silently sobbing into his fist. He pulled his knees to his chest. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t lie about it, Sam wasn’t stupid. He needed to call Cas, he could fix it, Cas fixed everything. He pulled his phone out of his jeans and hit the call button, Cas’ name was at the top and let it ring but it just carried on, his voicemail was still turned off. He hung up and threw his phone at the wall in frustration. There was a knock on the door and then Sam’s concerned voice. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry if it’s not true, I take it back.” Dean shook with supressed rage, he didn’t want Sam to hear him cry. He climbed into bed and pulled the pillow over his head. He didn’t want to face reality, things could not get worse. “And it’s okay if it is true! It doesn’t matter.” He sounded unsure as he said it. That just upset him more.

 

“It is true! Now you know, so shut up about it!” He sat up and yelled and then shoved the pillow back over his head.

 

“Dean, I’m sorry!”

 

“What? Sorry you have a fag for a brother!? Go away!” He screamed. Sam banged on the door again and carried on trying to get in until he heard Bobby came to see what all the noise was.

 

“What have you done to your brother?!” He scolded. “Dean, let me in.” He ignored them.

 

“Nothing, I didn’t mean to upset him, I was just curious about him and Cas, that’s all.”

 

“Sam, just go downstairs okay?” Bobby sounded frustrated. He heard Sam grumble and then stomp down the stairs. He really did not want to talk to Bobby right now. He just wanted to lay here until Cas called him back and made him feel better. “Let me in, Dean. This is my house and you’ll open the door.” Dean groaned and reluctantly got up and opened the door, he hid his face in his hands when he sat back down. Bobby walked inside and shut the door behind him, he sat in the bottom of the bed and looked around the room. “I haven’t been in here for a while, you’ve done a good job. You could decorate it if you want? It’s your space and you can do what you like with it. I didn’t realise you we’re so tidy.” Dean sniffed and wiped his face. He was glad Bobby wasn’t looking at him. He had made a total dick of himself again. Why did he keep doing this? Bobby didn’t say anything else but he stood and looked at all the little nick-naks he had collected on his sides. There was random things blue tacked to the wall where Bobby stood, a little doodle Cas had given him, his study schedule and some receipts from when Cas had bought him coffee. He didn’t know why he kept them.

 

“Cas tidied my room on Saturday.” He muttered and wiped his face again.

 

“That’s good, you boys look after each other, it’s nice to see.” Dean nodded and wondered where he was going with this conversation. Bobby moved away from his wall and then looked at the books Cas asked about on Friday. Dean noticed they were in alphabetical order and wondered when his friend had done that. “What you have with Cas is your business, no-one else’s and I don’t know what Sam said but I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you. Personally I’ll always support you, it’s your decision and I think it’s a good one. I know you’re probably confused about it but you shouldn’t worry so much about what everyone thinks. It’s your life and you need to live it.” Dean took some more deep breaths and tried to calm himself some more, he didn’t know what he was expecting for Bobby to say but it wasn’t that.

 

Bobby had been so good to him, he was stood in the room he had provided for him and was telling him he was doing the right thing. That he would support him through his decision. And he was right about what he had said, he was really confused, he didn’t know why he was upset over what Sam had said. If it had been anything else he would have just laughed it off but it had hurt him that Sam knew. What did that say about him as a person? He cared about Cas a hell of a lot more than anyone else in the world and yet he felt… embarrassed.

 

“I don’t know what I want anymore or who I am. Who I think I am is embarrassing.” He mumbled. He felt guilty for feeling embarrassed as well. On Sunday Balthazar had told him that Castiel could do better than Dean and right now those words lay heavy. Cas deserved more than Dean Winchester, the boy who was embarrassed because of what they shared, of what they felt. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair. How would Cas feel is Dean told him he was embarrassed because of them? Dean was in deep, this had got completely out of hand, what had started as a fumble now and then had got completely out of control. This was not hormones. This was something more, something that terrified him.

 

“Why are you embarrassed? You don’t get to choose who you like, it doesn’t work that way and Castiel makes you happy, I can see that. Don’t let other people ruin it for you.” Bobby sat down next to him but didn’t look at him. And again he waited for Dean to reply, the silence stretched long but it didn’t seem to bother Bobby, he just patiently waited.

 

“We’re not even together; we’re not official any way so I don’t know why I’m so bothered.” He was crying again. Damn. “After last week I feel like I’m a mess, he won’t talk about what happened and-“

 

“If this is a sex thing I don’t want to know, just…” Dean laughed through his tears, starting to feel a bit better. “Do what makes you happy, whatever that is. I think you and Castiel should talk about what ever this is, okay? Now do you want me to tell Sam to back off while you clear your head, I could explain things to him if you want?” Bobby was so understanding, he could only hope that his dad would be this great about it.

 

“No, it’s okay, I’ll tell him. It’s my problem.” He breathed deep and stretched, he felt so tired, he went to stand up but Bobby grabbed his wrist and guided him back down.

 

“It’s not a problem,” He said clearly, looking straight into Dean’s eyes as he said it. “You do realise there is nothing wrong with you? I can’t say I went through it myself but its normal. And there’s nothing set in stone, you might feel differently in five years or you might not, either way it’s okay.” Dean still felt shaky and overwhelmed, his thoughts everywhere and he didn’t know if he agreed with Bobby or not but he respected what he was doing.

 

“Thanks, Bobby.” He meant it and the old man smiled, he even went as far as pulling Dean into a hug and clapping him on the back twice. As he pulled away he gripped his shoulders firmly.

 

“You can talk to me any time, I might be old but I’m human and I’m not here to judge. And tell me if I’m wrong but does this have anything to do with your dad visiting?” Dean shrugged and moved out of his grip. He picked at the seams on his jeans. “Now come on, I don’t want you sulking around here, why don’t you go and see your young man. Fuck what your daddy thinks; I won’t leave you to face that alone.” Dean really didn’t want to talk about his dad right now. Two and a half weeks and he would be here. Why couldn’t his dad be more like Bobby?

 

“He’s not answering his phone.” He said finally, it coming out sulky but he was really past embarrassment now. There was a hesitant knock on the door.

 

“Not right now Sam.” Bobby turned and yelled at the door.

  
“It’s Castiel, I’m sorry but is Dean okay? Sam called Gabriel and-“ Dean shot off the bed pulled the door open, throwing himself into Cas’ arms. Bobby awkwardly stepped around them and left them to sort things out. Cas half carried Dean back in his room and they lay on the bed.

 

Dean told him _everything_.

 

All his fears and worries about what he was feeling: his paranoia after being caught at the weekend, all about his dad and what it meant for him to visit, his childhood, even his mom, his deep-seated need to feel accepted and loved, his grades and college worries. He told him all about Sam’s reaction to finding out about them and what it would mean for them if anyone else found out. It all poured out of him and Castiel sat and listened like he was some kind of guardian angel, his sole purpose to sit and listen to him and fix everything. He held him tightly and kissed his hair but he didn’t speak a word, he just held him until his sniffles subsided and then apologised when he had to leave. He kissed Dean deeply and though he hadn’t given him any advice at all or even commented on what he felt about it all, he felt like he had fixed everything.

 

* * *

 

 

Friday morning came and Castiel smiled at him kindly when they met outside the library before school, he leant forward and kissed his cheek. The halls were empty and Dean was feeling so much better he wouldn’t have cared if someone noticed them anyway.

 

“Are you feeling better today?” Dean nodded, he really was. He was so grateful to Cas and Bobby, he had even cleared things up with Sam last night after Castiel had left.

 

“Good because you still have the chemistry stuff to do.” Dean groaned and he was shoved back into reality.

 

Fourty-five minutes later they sat at the back of the library taking advantage of Cas’ set of keys. They were surrounded by chemistry books, it was the one of the things that was holding Dean back but Cas promised he would have him at the top of his class by Christmas. Dean had done so much revision this week that he was having some seriously messed up dreams.

 

“So could you use some company on Saturday? I have a few favours I want to return.” He smiled as he said it and Dean could hear the insinuation in his voice. He paused, his pen hovering over his notepad, he could feel himself flush.

 

“Don’t start that here again, we almost got caught last time.” He tried to concentrate on what he had just been doing but he had no idea what that was anymore. It was actually refreshing to be flirty and relaxed around Cas again after last night, it had all been so serious. He just wanted to have some fun.

 

“I’ll be good, I promise.” He bit his lip, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth and shot him a seductive look.

 

“Oh my God, Cas, don’t!”

 

“Come on baby.” He mocked, imitating Dean’s voice.

 

“If that’s supposed to be my sex voice then you’re a douche, I sound much more manly than that.” He then pushed him off his chair and Cas landed on his arse, laughing his head off. “Son of a bitch.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean woke on Friday night to someone climbing into his bed, he awoke disorientated at the sight of Cas. He opened his arms and made space for him to climb in and pulled him close.

 

“Are you okay? Wassa matter?” He rubbed his eyes and let Cas wrap himself around him. “What are you even doing here?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep, I can never sleep lately.” Cas hadn’t mentioned that. He frowned and turned to face him so they were hugging face to face. He shoved one of his knees between Cas’ and got comfortable pressing himself to his friend as close as humanly possible. He loved sleeping like this with Cas.

 

“I’m sorry baby, I wish I could help you. You didn’t walk here did you?” He whispered, kissing over his clothed shoulder. He could feel him shake his head.

 

“I got in the car and drove and drove and I ended up at our spot, you know where your mom used to take you and I just sat there but it wasn’t the same without you.” Dean rubbed up and down his back soothingly, he didn’t know what to say but maybe he didn’t need to say anything, just listen like Cas had for him yesterday. “I’m just so stressed, Dean. What if I never amount to anything? What am I even doing?”

 

“I don’t know baby, but you’re the smartest person I know, you’ll figure it out and what ever you do you will shine.” Cas kissed him on the cheek and snuggled even closer.

 

“Before I knew what was happening I was knocking in your door, Bobby let me in.” Dean nodded and kissed him on the forehead, he was no guardian angel but he knew getting some rest would make him feel better. “All I knew was that I needed you.”

 

“I’m right here, I’ll always be here. Don’t be stressed baby, just sleep, we’ll talk about it in the morning…” He whispered, he could feel Castiel relax in his arms. “Cas?”

 

He was already sleeping.


	29. Chapter Twelve - Part Three

When Dean woke up alone on Saturday morning he tried not to feel disappointed. He stretched across the bed and stared up at the ceiling taking a moment to gather his thoughts and to try to catch up with what had happened last night. The other side of the bed was empty and cold. He was hoping to speak to him about it this morning, driving to his house in the middle in the night was a cry for help, and Cas did not normally ask for help. He normally tried to forget his problems and fix them by shoving his hands down Dean’s pants. It wasn’t like he minded but it really wasn’t healthy. He didn’t know what was going on with him anymore, he had a small idea but he just didn’t know how to make him feel better. Yeah, maybe he should have just talked to him last night but he had been so upset and had been exhausted. He shouldn’t be surprised that Cas had disappeared, he had snuck out to come and sleep with Dean and his parents were home, he could get into trouble. His parents had never punished Cas outside of grounding him and yelling (which was enough to reduce Cas to tears) but he really didnt want to find out what would happen if they found out he was participating in premarital gay sex and driving across town in the dead of night. He sighed, at least he had got to hold him for a while though, it was a relief to know that Cas had slept well, he was worried about him.

 

He shoved his hand under his pillow to look for his phone but noticed it was on his bedside cabinet, he didn’t remember putting it there, he figured Cas must have moved it. He debated calling him just to make sure he was okay but he wasn't sure, he might want some space.  He didn’t really know what to say to him. His fingers hovered over the home screen until he decided to send a text, that way he wouldn't be as bothered if there was no answer.  He just hoped Cas had not been caught.  His stomach rumbled loudly in protest and interupted his train of thought, he decided to leave it until after breakfast. It was just gone ten, he stretched and let his phone drop to the empty side of the bed. It was a good job he wasn’t working this weekend or he would have overslept, though he was sure Bobby would have kicked him out if bed at some point. He knew he should really get up, Sam would be awake soon and he would want breakfast, he knew he had been slacking off lately looking after his brother. He rolled out of bed and pulled on a shirt. His first stop was the bathroom to take a leak then afterwards he strolled downstairs thinking of what he could make to eat,  he was starving.  He paused at the bottom of the stairs as he heard laughter in the direction of the lounge. That was strange, Sam was normally still in bed by now.

 

He walked into the room curiously, Sam was awake and watching cartoons curled up in one of the chairs and Cas on the couch wearing Dean’s sweat pants and a t-shirt. It was a welcome surprise. He leant against the door. He tried not to smile at the sight but he couldn't help it, he wasn’t sure what he was more pleased about, Sam sitting with his best friend and seemingly getting along, that Cas hadn’t left like he originally thought or that he was wearing his clothes.

 

There was just something intimate about that. Dean had never had a girlfriend or someone special to wear his things; he had fantasies before his sexual awakening about girls wearing his large shirts with their legs bare and panties caught on their knees as they spread their legs. Now though, he could only stare at the strong definition of Cas’ thighs stretching over his pants and the way his t-shirt, soft and faded with age, was actually a little too large where it had been stretched out of shape from years of love. And even though he was normally quite protective of his things, he didn’t mind sharing this with Cas. In fact he could easily picture the dark haired man--

 

Dean realised he was doing that creepy thing again, thinking about sex when his brother was in the room, what the hell was wrong with him?

 

He tutted at his behaviour internally and realised they were both staring at him. Cas had a cup of coffee cradled in his hands and held it up in an offering to share, his bright blue eyes boring into him. He hesitantly sat down next to him but kept a fair amount of distance between the two of them, he took the cup. He looked between Sam and Cas uncertainly, even though it was nice that they were getting on, Cas spending time with Sam was still strange.

 

Dean had talked to Sam for an hour on Thursday night, he had been terrified about admitting things to his brother but he had been honest, Sam knew everything.  He told him that they had been fooling around since thec first week of school and he wasn’t sure how it happened but he couldn’t take it back, and even if he could he wouldn’t. Cas was special. He admitted they weren’t an item but one day he hoped they might be. Sam in his usual fashion had been understanding and promised to cover for him when their dad came. Even though he was really cool about it, it still felt a bit uncomfortable to have them in the same room, especially since they had been sat alone. What had they been talking about?

 

“I thought you had left.” Was what he said in the end, his thoughts were too jumbled up to say out loud, not like he wanted to anyway. He decided to avoid thinking about any of that anymore, it wasn’t going to get him anywhere worrying about how Cas and Sam acted around each other, if either didn’t like it then they could suck it up, they were both equally important to Dean and he wouldn’t have either of them screwing up the dynamics.

 

“I was going to but Sam lured me into the lounge with coffee and bacon.” Oh. Dean looked down to the hot cup in his hands and took a drink before handing it back to his friend. He had believed Sam when he said he was okay with him being gay but he didn’t think he would make his not-boyfriend breakfast after he had snuck in the house at night, he didn’t even make Dean breakfast.

 

“You made bacon?” Sam looked shifty and side glanced at Cas.

 

“Sorry, we ate all it.” He replied and shrugged and Cas smiled and nodded, he was very shy this morning but he didn’t complain, he was probably adjusting to the strange situation as well. One thing he loved about Cas was how he came across so shy ad sweet but behind closed doors he was passionate and determined and the complete opposite from what everyone assumed. The layers to his personality always kept him guessing. He could feel butterflies in his stomach and looked away from Cas, he didn't want to embarrass himself infront of Sam.

 

“I can tell by your fat ass.” He smirked, directing the comment at Samand trying to get a reaction. He needed to distract himself from how he was feeling and banter with his baby bro was familiar and comfortable.

 

“Jerk."

 

"Ohhh how original,  Sammy!"

 

“What about me, are you you insulting my fat ass?” Cas spoke up for the first time and then pouted, Dean turned to him, his mouth open in surprise and then glanced at Sam who was shaking with silent laughter. He had really just…? And in front of his brother?

 

“I’m not dumb, I know what you guys get up to. Don’t behave on my account, I already know what you sound like in the sack.” Dean buried his face in his hands and threw cushion at him. Really Sam? Really? Was this how it was going to be? Cas and Sam ganging up and teasing him, embarrassing him?

 

“Oh my God Sam, wait until you get a girlfriend, I’m going to get out baby pictures.” He said, his voice muffled and his face burning.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean arrived early Sunday morning with Sam to meet the Milton/Novak family ready for church only to find that Cas practically ripping his hair out with stress. He had called him frantic that morning and asking him to come early, he had said something about Foster care and then had hung up while yelling at Anna. As he pulled into the driveway it all became clear, there was someone moving in, a Foster child. Dean parked up in Anna’s space in front of the lounge window and let himself in through the open front door, Sam in tow. Cas was in the hallway death glaring at a plant like it has done him some personal injustice while on the phone. He was dressed in a pair of loose pants and a white t-shirt, obviously not ready for church at all.  He went to appproach him but he shook he head and turned around, avoiding looking at Dean. He was not happy.

 

He felt rejected but he took it all in his stride and decided to just wait in the kitchen. There was a guy say at the island talking to Gabriel animatedly, stumbling on his words a little as he explained about himself. He realised this must be the newest member to the family.  He wasn't sure if Gabriel was actually listening or not, Dean felt a little bit sorry for him but the kid didn't seem disheartened by Gabriel's silence. The little shit wasn't even looking at the other boy,  it was obvious he was ignoring him. The new kid looked kind, though a little nervous and was only a little thing like Gabriel but he gave the impression he was older than he looked by the way he held himself.

 

"Hi!" Dean smiled at the guy and took his usual seat. "I'm Dean." He held out his hand expectantly because that was the kind of thing you did in this household.

 

"Samandriel, it's nice to meet you!"He shook his hand and grinned at him. He tried not to looked surprised at the name. it was probably a weird bible name,  where the hell did the Miltons find these kids?

 

"Samandriel?  Now that's a mouthful, can I call you Alfie?" He grinned cheekily hoping to make him smile. He looked like an Alfie. Alfie looked confused.

 

"What about Sam?" He asked like it was the most obvious nickname it wasn't and Dean brushed it off comically.

 

"No,  no,  the giant over there is Sam." He explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

"I can live with Alfie." He laughed and started to look a lot more relaxed. "So do you live here too? " Dean was vaguely horrified at the thought of living here with the nine o’clock bedtime, the constant study regime and the fact they wasn’t allowed out unless it involved religion. No, thank you, he liked his sanity.

 

"Ha no," he laughed awkwardly. "I'm Cas' friend. We just popped in to drive to the church together. Sammy belongs to me too." He was a bit nervous about church after what had happened last week with Balthazar but Cas promised him yesterday that he would behave. They had talked a little bit about why Cas was so stressed yesterday but he had to go fairy quickly after Dean had finished his breakfast and then had ignored him all day, he didn’t take it personally and he didn’t want to come across as clingy anyway. And Sam for some reason was sat on one of the chairs where Bobby had sat before instead of with Gabriel, he felt a bit guilty as he realised they still weren’t on the best of terms because of the epic-Dean-Cas-love-fiasco. Sam had hardly spoken since he had walked in and he hadn't shut up on the way here.

 

"We're not going this week." Cas announced loudly as he walked in the room and dumped a box onto the table. Gabriel looked up hopefully and Cas glared at him. "You are. I meant Samandriel and myself.” Cas turned back to the Alfie, his expression softening from the frown he had directed at Gabe. “Did you want something to eat? I'm afraid our parents will be scarce until at least midday, they wasn't prepared for your early arrival so you can spend the day with me and I'll be happy to help you settle in." He smiled kindly at the boy and Gabriel tutted and stared darkly at his cereal.

 

"Thanks Castiel, erm, I can make my own breakfast, is it okay if I just help myself? I should just get used to where everything is."

 

"Make yourself at home." Gabriel muttered something rude under his breath and Dean glared at him, he was in an obvious strop. He bit his tongue trying to remember it wasn’t his brother. Alfie walked around the island and Dean jumped to show him where everything was.  Cas watched him fondly and a smile started to creep into his face. Once Alfie was sat down with some juice and toast, Cas grabbed his attention.

 

 "Dean I could do with some assistance." Dean happily stood back up, pleased that Cas wanted to talk to him.

 

"Nice to meet you, Alfie." Alfie grinned to him reached forwards to shake his hand again. He followed Cas out the room with a skip in his step, he cast one last look back and was glad to see Sam had moved his awkward self to talk to the other two boys.

 

"So, does this mean I get out of going this week?" He asked as they arrived outside. Cas climbed in the movers truck and collected the last of the boxes. The removal men were at the end of the drive smoking.

 

"Of course you don't have to go, you don’t have to do anything apart from get your ass in here and help me, because we both know how I feel when you dress like that." Dean grinned, he was glad he had prepared his Sunday best last night instead of leaving it to last minute. He was _so_ getting lucky today. They had actually behaved this week and he was feeling it, after their make out session on Tuesday he had pretty much wanked at every chance he had got. He cleared his throat and tried not to think such inappropriate thoughts with his brother just inside.

 

“So erm, Samidrel?"

 

"Samandriel." Cas corrected him, looking slightly amused.

 

"Yeah, I'm not calling  him that,  I renamed him Alfie." Cas shook his head in disbelief but was smiling.

 

“Did he say that was okay?” Cas looked unsure.

 

"Yeah, yeah, I think he liked it. I was just wondering, you, well… you didn't mention anything about him." He knew it wasn’t anything to do with him but he had just seen Cas yesterday, he just thought he might have mentioned it. Cas frowned and passed him some boxes and he stacked them outside, the contents was very neatly marked in black pen across the cardboard – this kid was very organised.

 

"I wasn't aware, my mom loves to spring surprises on us all. Apparently they met him in their visit in the city, he wasn't bought up under the best circumstances from what she said, ran away from home and visited the church, they found him sleeping on the benches, my uncle took a like into him and thought mom and dad could help. And so here he is, that's why they kept disappearing; they didn't want to tell us until they knew for sure." Cas was stony faced as he said it, Dean wasn’t sure whether it was the stress of being left to move someone into their house with no notice or the fact there was another person living in the house. Or maybe Cas just had a stick up his arse about missing church? Whatever it was Dean just couldn’t guess and was going to just try his best to be there for him.

 

"Oh." He wasn't sure what else to say.

 

"Gabriel is not pleased." He admitted looking helpless.

 

"I think he's just jealous?" Dean said, he didn't mean to sound insensitive but that was the impression that Gabriel was giving.  

 

"You're comletely right,  I like to think that he's my perfect little brother but he has faults like all of us,  he will just have to get over it.  we all have to to put up with things we don't like.  I really don't want any fighting though so I'm putting Saman- Alfie, next door to me, there is a spare room on the second floor but I don't think that Lucian and Micheal will be the best company and they are here over Christmas. And if Gabriel continues to be moody then it's not a good combination. I'll sleep better knowing he's next door to me." Ah, now that’s why he was pissed off, he could tell now, he didn’t have a floor to himself anymore, which meant it would be harder sneaking out and having Dean stay over, he was sharing his space with a stranger. And what was worse, he had to make that decision himself so it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own. His face said it all but Cas was nice enough to just suck it up and realise that Alfie’s happiness and wellbeing was more important than him having to behave. That and his little brother’s attitude was making things difficult. He honestly looked like he didn’t want to be surrounded by people at that moment. He wanted to give him a hug but now wasn’t the time, it might just annoy him more.

 

"Well I can give you a hand, I'll drop the kids off if you want? Give you a bit of time to chat with him, get to know him, he seems like a nice kid Cas.”

 

"I know Dean, he does seem like the type of person I would get on very well with.” He sighed deeply and slumped against the side of the van. “I’m just being selfish. Thank you Dean. Really, I mean it. You don't have to help me so much but you're always there."

 

"Where else would I be?" The smile Cas gave him was worth it.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean drove the boys to the church with them laughing in the back. It made him paranoid that they were laughing _at him_ but didn’t want to cause an argument in front of Gabriel. And at least they weren’t fighting or being moody with each other, that would have been even more awkward. He pulled up at the gate where Anna was standing with Jo, they knocked on his window and waved excitedly. He tried not to roll his eyes, he wondered what they wanted.

 

“Thanks for picking up Gabriel.” Anna smiled at him and he immediately wondered what she wanted. She could have taken him this morning. She couldn’t have missed the huge mover’s truck and the new sibling sat in the kitchen table and the fact that Castiel was in a mood because he had been left to organise everything. The least she could have done was offer to drive Gabriel but from what Cas had insinuated she had left as soon as she had realised what was going on. Anna was always polite to him but there was something he didn’t like about her, the way she seemed to keep herself distant from Gabriel and Castiel wasn’t nice, she would probably be the same with Alfie.

 

“It’s not a problem, I’m not coming today though, I’m helping your brother.” It was a jibe and he smiled as he said it though butter wouldn’t melt, she faltered and Jo raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“We just wanted to make sure you still want to be part of the auction, or did you change your mind?” Jo spoke up.

 

“No, I’ll be there.” And he would but he wasn’t in the mood to small talk to Anna, he wanted to get back to Cas and make sure he wasn’t ripping his hair out in frustration. “So are you going to bring the boys back for me then? Since I drove them here? I mean, I am doing you a favour with the auction and everything. ” Anna looked like she didn’t want to but nodded anyway and Jo bit her lip trying not to laugh.

 

“Great, see you later!”

 

* * *

 

 

When he got back the truck was gone and a load of boxes were still in the drive way, he grabbed a few and made his way to the door which he found was shut.

 

“Caaaasss!” He yelled as he tried to open the front door by pressing the handle with his butt and failing, “Castieeeel!” He sang and then tried to press the doorbell with his nose, the door pulled open and Cas looked at him confused.

 

“Why are you trying to make out with my doorbell?” Dean rolled his eyes and walked past him.

 

“Shut it you.” He joked fondly. “I convinced Anna to drop Sam and Gabriel back so you don’t have to worry about getting them.”

 

“Thanks, Dean. That’s one less thing to worry about.” Dean dropped the box at the bottom of the stairs and turned to Cas and pulled him into a hug.

 

“Hey, I don’t want you to worry, this will be okay, we’ll give him a hand and afterwards we can have some we’ll relax in your room.” He muttered into his ear, he could feel him smile.

 

“They’ll be back by then.” Cas pulled out of the embrace and pouted.

 

“We better get this done then.” He winked and watched Cas scramble to grab some of Alfies things.

 

* * *

 

Dean helped Cas and Alfie carry everything up the two flights of stairs. There wasn’t a ridiculous amount of stuff stuff and the boxes weren’t particularly heavy so he didn’t mind. He did feel very out of place in the empty room and he wasn’t the only one, Cas had his awkward look back that he didn’t often see any more, a nervous energy that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It must be difficult to meet someone new and be suddenly told they were now part of the family, he just couldn’t imagine.

 

Cas had mentioned when they first met that there was always kids coming and going but he didn’t imagine there would just be a knock on the door one day and then Cas would be left to sort everything out. It wasn’t his place to comment on these types of things so he stayed quiet and just tried to silently support Cas.

 

“Thanks for helping me, it’s very kind of you.” And Alfie really was nice, he was sure if he was in that situation he would be a dick to him but that just wasn’t Cas. And Dean kind of did like him.

 

“It’s okay, I didn’t have any plans today anyway and you’ll probably see a lot of me around so… Do you need help unpacking or…” Alfie sat on the bottom of the bed and bounced slightly on the mattress as if testing it. He looked around, the room bare and empty and without any personal touches. There were quite a few boxes, it would probably take him all day to sort them all.

 

“What time are Mr and Mrs Milton home?” Cas shuffled and looked unsure. Dean sympathised trying to explain that situation.

 

“I don’t know exactly, Sundays are normally very divided unless Uncle Uriel comes to hold the service. Anna and Gabriel are at church but they will be at the library where we do a study group until midday. I’m not sure what are parents do but they get home just after us.” Samandriel nodded slowly.

 

“Your uncle is a good man.” He said solemnly. He was quiet for a while,  obviously still adjusting and looking a bit upset. Cas shared a look with him,  he hoped Alfie wouldn't wasn't going to start crying.  “Can come with you next week to church?" He said eventually.

 

“Of course, you will be expected to attend every week.” Cas was just hovering now,  it was clear he didn't know what to say.

 

“I have a feeling Gabriel doesn’t like me very much, should I be worried?” Cas rolled his eyes and sat down in the bed next to him.

 

“Don’t worry about Gabriel, he will find something new to be annoyed at within a few days. That is the least of your concerns, just let yourself settle in , this must be hard for you." Now Dean felt like he was intruing on a private moment but Cas glanced at him and looked like he was begging him to stay.

 

“When will I meet everyone else? Your mom said she had five children who live at home. I'm worried I won't fit in,  what if the others hate me like Gabriel?" He did look worried to death and Cas hesitantly rubbed his arm to try and comfort him. "I don't mean to ask many things, I know you want to spend time with your friend."

 

“Don't worry about that, I have time for you and it’s important to give you a heads up actually...” He pursed his lips in thought. “Micheal and Lucian…” He trailed off and was obvious he was trying to find the best way to phrase what he needed to say. “They come home rarely but just a word of warning, stay out of their path, they are formidable when they want to be. It’s the reason why I put you next door to me, they are very boisterous. I had thought myself as the most compatible for you to get on with, just until you settle then you can always swap rooms. I’m afraid Anna keeps to herself mostly and might have just left you awkwardly in the hallway even she hadn’t run out as soon as she noticed the truck. I hope we can really get on because it’s mostly myself and Gabriel that are here. Once he gets over himself I think you'll get on.  We all have to at least pretend to be polite because our parents won't tolerate us squabbling.” Alfie looked intimidated by what he had just been told and Cas looked guilty. This wasn’t fair, they shouldn’t have left Cas to sort this out, one of his parents should have stayed home. Well, at least Cas had given him a heads up, those two might eat poor Alfie alive.

 

“Thanks, I appriciate your honesty.  I was really nervous about today but you’ve been very nice. I just have one more thing and then I’ll be okay, I was also wondering about getting to school? Your mom said to ask you or Anna but I-"

 

“That’s no problem, I normally go early to study with Dean but I can include you into our routine and take you. Dean only started at our school in September so you two can relate that way, right Dean?" He was actully glad to be included into the conversation because he was starting to feel like a third wheel.

 

“Nothing to worry about in that area Alfie, and if you have any trouble come and find me. What year are you in?

 

“I’m a junior, I know, I do look young.” He smiled, knowing that they would be surprised, he looked a sophomore at a push. Dean didn’t make a big deal about it because he remembered when Sam was so small and he used to get bullied for it, this wasn’t an issue now seems he towered over most his year but for Alfie it might be. He came across as quiet timid.

 

“So you’re a year below me and Cas! We might even have some classes together, sometimes we have gym with the …” That had the possibility to actually be fun but it would stop the break time humping sessions so that was debatable. Though they were supposed to be behaving anyway.

 

"I hate sports,  I'm so bad at them."

 

"I am literally the worst in the school, don’t worry about it." Cas laughed, standing up off the bed and ruffling his hair.

 

"You're not that bad." Dean defended,  sure, he couldn't compare to what he was like before they met but Cas was much more confident now and people didn't pick him last on teams anymore.

 

"Dean, were friends because I got you in the face with a ball." Ha, he had actually forgotten about that. He grinned, God, that seemed like so long ago, how much had things changed since then? Alfie stood up and walked them to the door.

 

"Thanks again guys. You've made me feel much better. I might just have a nap if that’s okay?" He asked, he did look tired.

 

"Of course! And I’m only next door, if you need anything." Alfie nodded. Cas smiled and they both stepped outside, Dean closed the door behind them with a quiet click. They scuttled into Cas’ room and Cas flung himself on the bed face down and groaned loudly into the duvet. Dean leant against the door.

 

“Well, that was a pain in the ass.” Cas whined, rolling onto his back and sitting back up.

 

“He seems really nice, awkward but nice.” He didn’t know why he was defending Alfie, he guessed he just sympathised with him.

 

“You’d be awkward if you were in his situation.” Cas muttered. He was right, he would be. He stepped forwards and toed his shoes off, coming to sit behind Cas on the bed. He fit himself around Cas so the other guy was sat between his legs and hugged him back to his chest. Cas sighed deeply and leant back into the embrace. He was still so tense and he felt really bad for him, he didn’t want him all stressed and upset, it was a freaking weekend, he shouldn’t be dealing with this crap.

 

“How long will we be alone?” Cas tilted his neck to try and look at him.

 

“Why?” He stared at him suspicious.

 

“I’ve always wanted to try out your bath.” He whispered, squeezing him lightly in his embrace.

 

“Hmmm, that sounds amazing right now.”

 

“Good, because you kind of stink.” Dean said before pushing Cas onto the floor and then running for his life to hide in the bathroom.


	30. Chapter thirteen - Part One

The day had gone a lot better than Dean had expected it to and even if everything else went to shit at least he had gotten out of going to church which in turn meant spending time with Castiel. What had really made his day was the (almost) hour of uninterrupted time he had spent in the bath. He had been right, it was nothing short of heaven and when they climbed out after about fourty-five minutes of lounging, they were considerably more relaxed and couldn’t keep the smiles off their faces.

 

It had felt intimate, and though their relationship was no longer the biggest secret it felt private and the bond he shared with Cas profound. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be in love. His hands trembling and his heart stuttering in his chest, he felt nervous but he didn’t know why. Cas was by far the most important thing Dean had ever had and he felt like it was a huge, mind-blowing gift. He knew he had never appreciated Cas enough but laying relaxed in the soapy hot water together, something he had never experienced with another person, did something to him. It made him want to treat Cas better, do more for him and make him smile every day. He felt irreplaceable. He couldn’t stop touching him, petting his skin, kissing everywhere he could reach. Castiel lay with his back against his chest and Dean had spent most of his time trailing his hands across his friend’s naked stomach, his arms and down his thighs marvelling in the feel of him. Dean washed Cas’ hair, kissed across the back of his shoulders as he massaged shampoo into his hair. Once all the soap was gone from their bodies Dean encouraged Cas to lay back on him, they didn’t speak but Dean listened to them breathing in tandem and felt Cas’ chest raise and fall.

 

When they redressed they took their time drying each other slowly and Dean softly kissed across every part of Cas’ body he could reach as he massaged the towel over him. It left them both flushed and grinning from ear to ear. When they were both dry and clothed with no further excuse to touch each other, Cas stepped forwards slowly and invaded his personal space. Dean held his breath as he locked eyes with him and let himself be pressed against the wall. Cas kissed him achingly slow as if trying to tell him all the things he felt through his lips. Dean pulled away after an eternity and was left gasping and out of breath. The swirl of pleasure in his stomach and chest made him cling to the smaller man.

 

“You take my breath away.” He spoke softly against his neck and buried his face in the space between his neck and shoulder. His skin was warm and he smelled clean and fresh, the aroma of his shampoo sharp. Cas leant against him and Dean knew that their family would be back any moment because of Anna’s text but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Eventually Castiel slowly pulled away, he looked like he wanted to say something but instead he just smiled.

 

He didn’t get the chance to say good bye to Alfie because he was still sleeping by the time he left, but he promised Cas he would meet him early at school and walk to the office with him because his friend looked so reluctant. They decided on the canteen for a change, Cas wasn’t fond of sharing the knowledge with his brothers that he had a key to the library.

 

Anna arrived with the boys shortly after they had dressed and had just finished cleaning the kitchen from the breakfast rush. Dean didn’t fancy hanging around for their parent’s arrival so he said his goodbyes and made a hasty exit. Now he had to listen to Sam complain about how it wasn’t fair that Dean had got out of going to church when it had been his idea.

 

“It wasn’t my fault, I had to help, I just couldn’t leave Cas like that, couldn’t you tell he was pissed?” Sam was sat next to him in the car and he shrugged uncomfortably. “Don’t be selfish, you got to see Gabriel today.” Normally Sundays were off limits but seems they were going to church they got to see the Novaks, it was unfortunate that the Milton’s came as part of that package. He knew he shouldn’t think that way but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

“I guess so.” He mumbled. “Oh! They did say the date of the Christmas fundraiser; I got a leaflet about it here.” He pulled it out of his pocket and Dean glanced from the road to have a look but quickly turned his attention back. Dean had never even thought to ask what the money was actually contributing towards. He should really ask about that instead of going in blind, Cas’ parents would be there all day, there was no way he was going to be able to avoid them and he was fucked if they mentioned anything about it.

 

“When is it?” He just hoped it was before his dad got back. John was not the most religious man in the world after Mary had died, he probably wouldnt want his children so involved in fundraising for the church.

 

“The fourteen and fifteenth of December.” No such luck, it was already the seventeenth of November. “There’s a program thingy on the other side, your auction is in the evening at seven on the Saturday. I don’t have to go to that do I? I’ll be at the fair all day.” Dean sighed, he didn’t really want to do the auction but he had promised Jo and Cas seemed happy that he was getting involved, he didn’t want to leave anyone disappointed. He felt like either way someone was going to be annoyed with him, he was more than likely just being paranoid but he was sure it would end up being his dad. He felt like he was always giving him a reason to be upset with him, their relationship was still really rocky and far from repaired. Even though some progress had been made over the past few weeks the conversation between them was still really strained and uncomfortable. Dean did not want his dad witnessing him doing something as geeky as taking part in a church auction, it made him feel uneasy and self-confidence of his own choices, for whatever reason he had made them. He had been trying to put off thinking about it be he was confident that the only way they could get around John that day would be splitting the day into two, in the morning Dean could spend some quality one to one time with his dad while Sam was at the church and then Sam could do the same in the evening.

 

“No, we can’t leave dad all day, you’ll have to go in the morning and I’ll do the evening otherwise he’ll just bitch and moan.”

 

“Dean we can’t leave dad with Bobby all day. He’ll want to see us, it’s a weekend.” Sam disagreed.

 

“I didn’t say that, did I?” He retorted. “I just said I’ll spend the morning with him and you’ll see him while I’m doing the auction. We can’t invite him to this.” He left it unsaid that he might be an embarrassment; they couldn’t trust him to behave. The last few months before he had left had been a mess, John took little pleasure in his work and even less in spending time with his kids. Half of the time John was actually at home his friends were carrying him in drunk and passed out, dumping him on the sofa. Deep down Dean knew why had left, that it was nothing personal to his children but to he needed a something more to notivate him out of his spiralling depression. It was just upsetting that him and Sam weren’t enough.

 

“Well what do you mean then?” Sam persisted.

 

“I don’t know Sam, we’re going to have to sort it out closer to the time.” He tried not to become frustrated, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his dad, he just didn’t want the bother that came with it. They were both quiet for the moment, lost in thought and Dean let himself get transfixed in the soothing motion of driving his baby. The streets were mostly clear, they always were on a Sunday, the town was quiet like it always was, most places were closed and people were either at the church or spending time with their families.

 

"Do you think we should forgive him yet?" It took Dean a few seconds to reprocess that Sam had ever spoke and then a few more to reply as delicately as possible. He didn’t want to argue with Sam about this. He felt guilty, ashamed at the small amount of jealousy that burned through him when he thought of how much more of an effort John was making to reconcile his relationship with Sam. He talked to him for longer, was more interested in what he was doing and every time he called Dean the first thing he asked about was Sam. He didn’t know what he needed to do to make John more interested in him, Cas had told him that wasn’t up to Dean, that John should love him regardless.

 

"I thought that you already had?"

 

"I don’t know,” He sighed deeply and Dean glanced at him, he was wearing a pained expression and looking out the window. “I know we didn’t want to leave, that he literally fucked everything up for us, dragged us from our school and you had to leave all your friends but I’m starting to feel like coming here was a good idea.” He was right of course, he had caused such a fuss about having to move and in the end he had just ended up alienating himself from his friends and even worse, his dad and now it was proving difficult to mend. His friends hadn’t once called or texted him since he moved, not even Cassie, though they ended on a sour note they still used to call and text each other. It was like everyone had forgotten him since he left and he wasn’t the kind of person who was going to go out of his way to reach out to people who obviously no longer cared. He had once thought he had the best friends but he must have misjudged them. He had Cas now anyway and he was confident they would always be important to each other in one way or another.  “I love this town and Bobby’s great and I get on with Gabriel! Dean I have a real live friend who actually understands me! And you know... you have Cas. We might be happy here.” He looked excited and Dean didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble. It made his gut twist unpleasantly at the thought of John coming back and making Sam feel bad because he was happy. John had a way of making people miserable indirectly.

 

“If he hadn’t have took that job none of this would have happened.” Dean admitted, he understood where Sam was going with this and he agreed with him. He deserved better than superficial friends, Sam deserved a best friend and they needed someone who could give them security, stability, routine and reassurance and who actually was a good role model, Bobby felt more like his dad that John did.

 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t be thinking about going to college, which is completely amazing by the way, you used to be such a bum and now you work and have all these goals in life! We can’t be mad at him for doing something that has turned out for the better." Sam was right of course but he hadnt really thought about it that way. Maybe when John came back he would be happy again? But Dean just couldn’t get rid of the memories, and he wasn’t sure if people actually changed.

 

"I’ll think about it." Was what he said in the end. "I have other things on my mind right now."

 

* * *

 

Dean kept promising Sam that they would go to the mall but every time he had tried something had come up. As a last minute decision Dean turned left into town instead of right to Bobby’s house. Sam noticed straight away and asked where they were going but Dean just grinned and tapped his nose.

 

He took him to a Lego store which was more for his own benefit, he had remembered walking past it when Castiel had been looking for a coat a few weeks ago but he wasn’t go to look when he was with Cas, he didn’t want him to think he was immature.

 

The store was full of teenage boys and little girls sat on their daddy’s hips. The majority of people dressed smartly like him and Sam, obviously they had finished their various Sunday schools though there were a few kids with their jeans so low they looked like they were going fall off at any minute, Dean was glad Sam didn’t dress like that, they looked stupid.

 

After acting like he didn’t care for about ten minutes it was painfully obvious that Sam was fanboying like mad inside his head and he gave up pretending. Sam bounced down the aisles and looked at all the displays leaving Dean behind. He glanced at all the Star Wars lego but carried on, not interested in the slightest but Dean stopped and stared at a Millennium Falcon and made a noise he was sure wasn’t human. He glanced through the store to make sure he could still see Sam’s mop of messy hair, which he could and then he gingerly picked up the box. It even came with a little Han Solo. He put it back on the shelf, he couldn’t justify over a hundred dollars for lego especially since he hadn’t been working at weekends as much. He did have a small amount of savings but he needed that for Christmas and Sam’s birthday and for when he went on dates with Cas.

 

He shouldn’t be thinking about them as dates but every time they drove somewhere with their hands clasped on the gear stick or snuggled up to watch a movie, he couldn’t help it. He kept these thoughts to himself because they tended to confuse him. A couple of weeks ago he had argued with Cas at the garage because he had been jealous of Balthazar and Cas had screamed at him just to ask him if he wanted them to be boyfriends. He did want that, of course he did, but he felt reluctant because Castiel had the power to ask him and he wondered why he hadn’t. Cas was the reason why they were even in the situation in the first place, Cas had climbed into his lap on his very first day of school and took his breath away. He had made the first move that Dean would have never had the courage to make. If Cas hadn’t kissed him then Dean would have most likely pined from afar for a few days and then forgot about him. Him and Cas might not even be friends now. That thought made him really sad for a second, he snapped out of it quickly wondering how hw had even got to that train of thought. It didn’t matter anyway, he wasn’t sure why he was getting sentimental about it, it wasn’t like him and Cas were in a bad place. Nothing was going to come between them anytime soon. And either way he still couldn’t afford that freaking lego. He took one last look at the spaceship and went to go and join Sam.

 

He browsed the shelves as he went, he skipped all the girly ones, went past all the Avengers stuff and found Sam bouncing in excitement in front of The Hobbit Lego.

 

“Dean, look at this! I always wanted The Lord of the Rings Lego and dad never let me have it! Now they have Hobbit stuff here!” He shoved a box in front of his face and Dean smiled at it, guilt gnawing at him as he remembered that Christmas three years ago. By the time Dean had saved up for the Lego Sam had wanted using money from his paper round, it had sold out. He ended up buying him some fancy new sneakers that all of his friends were wearing, new pens for school and some stuff from a toy store. Sam hadn’t even known that Dean had tried so hard to get it for him. And he hadn’t been ungrateful, he had been really happy with his presents, and he hadn’t even mentioned that he didn’t get what he wanted. But now Dean knew he had been right, Sam had been disappointed.

 

“Why don’t you get it baby bro? This looks awesome! I think they’re might be a space in your bedroom for this.” Sam looked at him disbelief and visibly cringed as he flipped the box to show Dean the price, he sighed and put it back on the shelf.

 

Dean didn’t like Sam looking so disheartened, he deserved to have nice things.

 

“Hey, don’t be like that, how about we go halves on that one today and we’ll have to see what you get for Christmas.” Dean knew for a fact Sam had been saving his pocket money and he had forty dollars in his wallet, if he paid for half then he could still buy him and Sam milkshakes on the way home. It meant he would have to work a couple of extra shifts next week but he didn’t mind. Sam looked at him unsurely.

 

“Dean, this is sixty dollars, you don’t have to give me thirty dollars for no reason.” He looked at him suspiciously. “What are you up to?”

 

“What I have to have ulterior motives to buy you a present, gee, thanks Sam.” Dean scoffed. “Fine, why don’t you put it back on the shelf and we’ll go home?”

 

“What? No, no, no! I just thought…” Dean grinned and Sam realised he was joking. “Thanks.” He said sincerely. “It’s just a lot of money. You don’t have to do that.”

 

“I know dummy it’s because I’m an awesome brother, now let’s go and pay before I change my mind.”

 

They queued up together and Sam explained to him about the lego and what scene it was based on. He had never been huge on the whole Lord of the Rings thing, when they first moved in with Bobby before they had sorted out bedrooms Sam and Dean had slept in the lounge. On the first week they had built a pillow fort and had a weekend long movie marathon. It was one of his fonder memories of them together, Bobby had even come and joined them for a few hours and ordered their favourite pizza, he tried so hard to bond with them that first week. The only downside was that Sam insisted they watched the extended additions of all three films, by the end of it Dean was none the wiser about what had actually happened with the ring and spent all his time convinced that the guy playing Frodo was Harry Potter. Needless to say when The Hobbit came out in the cinemas he made himself scarce and told Bobby it was his turn.  He tried to listen what Sam was saying but he wasn’t interested at all, he just nodded and smiled at him and handed over his money when he got to the till.  

 

They looked around the mall for about an hour and somehow Dean ended up carrying the huge lego bag which annoyed him but he guessed that’s what big brother were for, even though Sam practically bigger than him in every way. Seriously, he needed to stop growing sometime soon!

 

He took Sam to the ice cream shop that had become his and Cas’ place to go and Sam stared in wonder at all of the flavours. They both ordered large milkshakes to go and Dean made sure he had enough change for the parking before they made their way back to the impala.

 

“Thanks for today, it was really boring this morning, I feel like I needed to chill out for a few hours.” Sam said as he climbed into the car. He put the Lego bag on the backseat, the box was too big to sit on his lap.

 

“Yeah, sorry for leaving you with the God Squad but I couldn’t help it. I promise I’ll be there next week, okay?” He handed Sam his milkshake once he had watched his little brother put his seatbelt on, he couldn’t drive and drink at the same time and he didn’t feel like freezing his nuts off by holding it between his thighs.

 

“Okay,” Sam reached forwards to eject a cassette tape and Dean smacked his hand.

 

“Don’t push it, you know the rules.”


	31. Chapter thirteen - Part Two

“Have a good day boys?” Bobby yelled as they walked through the door, his voice sounded distant and it echoed slightly so he was either in the kitchen or the garage. This is what Dean had meant earlier when he thought of stability and routine, they got home and there was someone there just to say hello, it was only a small thing but to Dean it made a hell of a difference. “I’m in the kitchen!” They followed his voice to the room to discover Bobby in a pink flowery apron and covered in flour.

“It was really good, thanks.” He grinned in amusement. "We went to the Lego store."

"Is Lego those little building block things?" Sam snorted with laughter and Dean grinned.

"Kind of." He nodded.

"We got the Hobbit Lego, you know that film you took me to. It was a bit expensive but Dean paid half so I could get it."

"That’s nice of your brother, did you say thank you?"

"Uh huh."

"Just don’t get it all over the house." He warned and Sam groaned in dismay.

"We're not kids bobby!" He complained. Ever since Sam had snuck out to Jo's party with Gabriel, Bobby had been watching him a lot more. When they first came to stay Bobby had been very lenient with them but it seemed that Sam had been put on a shorter leash now he had proved he needed supervision. Bobby wasn't strict with him at all and Dean thought he completely deserved it but Sam hated being treated like a child when he wasn't used to being disciplined by anyone but Dean. Really he just hated being told off. Dean caught his eye and shook his head no, he didn’t want any arguments now, he had had such a good day, so Sam could choke back on whatever else he was planning to say. He must have got the message from Dean's insistent death glare because he shut his mouth so quickly that Dean heard his teeth snap together.

"Tell that to my twisted ankle! I went flying over your book bag this morning." Sam had the decency to look guilty and he hung his head in shame. Dean remembered specifically telling him to move that early hours this morning because he had done the same thing but he didn't say anything.

"Sorry, Bobby."

"I'm used to it by now, I'm sure you boys will be the death of me but just be a bit more considerate okay?" Sam nodded solemnly.

“Okay, I will. It erm, looks like you’ve been busy, er… what are you even doing?” Sam asked, trying not to laugh as he looked around the room. There were various pots and pans out, flour and baking soda and little measuring equipment that Dean had only ever seen when he was forced to cook at school.

“I’m trying to sort out a bloody cupcake recipe for you and your friend. Why did you pick cupcakes when you both can’t bake?” Sam shrugged and tried to look innocent.

“I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Well don’t think you’re leaving poor Cas to bake them all and taking the credit for it.” Dean glared at Sam suddenly aware that Bobby had hit the nail on the head and that was Sam and Gabriel’s plan all along.

"Sam don’t be a dick to Cas like that, you know he’s got enough to do." He snapped before he could control what was coming out of his mouth. Dean had promised himself he wouldn’t get involved in any Sam/Cas issues because he was in the middle and didn’t want to have to pick sides, they would just have to suck it up and sort it out, but that didn’t mean that he would sit back and watch Sam do something that would annoy his best friend. Cas was a busy guy!

“I wasn’t going to!" He denied though his face said another story.

“Well its fine now, I found an idiot-proof one and if you fuck it up just cover it all in icing and they won’t know the difference." Dean wasn’t sure if Bobby was joking or not but it still made him smile. “We can test if this batch is a failure after dinner."

“What _is_ for dinner?" Sam grumbled. Bobby shrugged and opened the freezer, he looked inside and frowned. “I think that’s more Dean’s area of expertise." Sam went to stand by his uncle and looked through the mess in the unorganised appliance.

“There’s nothing here." He whined like the little brat that he was. Dean couldn't believe that he had liked Sam so much not even half an hour ago because he was seriously starting to grate on him now.

“There are loads of nice things in there, what are you blind?" Dean exclaimed, he could see clearly from where he stood that the freezer was packed full.

“Shotgun not cooking!" Sam yelled and then fled from the room with his Lego. Dean looked dismayed at Bobby.

"I guess it's me again then." Bobby moved out the way so Dean could have a proper look.

“Hey! I didn’t run away! How about we do something together? Besides, I wanted to talk to you anyway." He confessed. Dean would have been worried a few weeks ago about Bobby saying those words but right now he was just curious. He didn’t feel threatened or concerned about what his uncle would say. Bobby was really respectful and never pushed Dean too much if he didn't want talk about something. And he always had a way of making something that could be awkward or embarrassing feel fine.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, pulling some chicken and vegetables out if the fridge. He put them on the only available space on the sideboard and then turned to face Bobby.

"Nothing to worry about, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. We haven't spoken much since you were upset the other day. I hope you and Cas sorted out whatever it was that was bothering you."

"Yeah, things are good. I erm, I told him how I felt when he came over and I cried like a freaking girl the whole time but yeah, I feel a lot better. Thanks Bobby."

"Good, good and er, what did Cas say? Was he understanding?" He pulled his apron off as he asked the question and avoided looking at him while he asked. Dean suspected it was more out if discomfort on Bobby's half but he appreciated that he cared enough to out himself out of his own comfort zone. John would never talk to him like this in a million years. The older man was busying himself by shoving his apron in the washing machine. He huffed in annoyance at the amount flour smothering his skin and went to the sink to wash it off. Dean leant against the side and watched him have a losing battle with the batter on his hands.

"He didn't really say a lot to be honest but he listened and it made me feel better." Bobby turned slightly to look at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not judging you at all but I just want to be clear, so he didn't actually say a lot back? I thought this was a mutual issue? Let me tell you something Dean that I took far too long to learn, it might just be the old man in me talking but there is more to relationships than love and sex, there needs to be communication and you have to be honest and open with each other or you will never get anywhere. Cas can't just sit and listen while you try nd sort out your problems." Dean processed what he had just been told, what he was saying made sense but they didn't even have a relationship. He wondered if it made a difference, if they should be talking about things a lot more. It seemed sometimes that all they did was talk to each other about all their feelings and crap.

"It's not really a mutual problem Bobby and we aren't together like I said before, we haven't even had sex yet and we don't love each other that way." He said slowly, it felt wrong as he said it and a strange feeling erupted in the pit of his stomach that made him feel a bit sick, he pushed it aside as best as he could. He didn't want to think about that in particular right now, especially since he felt like he was lying to himself.  "I was just confused." He concluded.

"And what about Cas? Is he confused as well?" Dean forgot what he was going to say and was stunned for a second. They had talked about Cas' sexuality when they had a picnic by the lake but he hadn't seemed too bothered by it.

"I don't think he cares much, when we spoke about it he just started rambling about the importance of it only mattering who he married."

"Ouch."

"No, not like that! He didn't hurt my feelings. I know I matter. I think he just meant in the long run, like he's not too bothered about it at the moment. He's very care free about it; he's like the complete opposite to me. Most the time I'm fine but some days I don't know what to do with myself." He took a deep breath as he found himself becoming emotional. He blinked rapidly and took a deep breath to steady his nerves.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no!" He dismissed, "It wasn't you! I'm just not used to feelings and stuff. I've never liked someone as much as I do Cas. It's different. He makes me feel good about being me and makes me want to do better. He's crazy smart and focused... I've never been with anyone like that before."

"So it's safe to say that you two have at least come to an understanding? I want you to be happy Dean."

 

"I am, he does make me happy but I'm not rushing into anything, Cas is great and what we have is just fine with me. There's no point complicating things with labels."

 

"Is that denial I hear? You're not any more or any less gay if you idjits make it official. Either way you're still going to suck his-"

 

"Bobby!" Dean yelled, scandalised.

 

"-face, I was going to say face. What the hell did you think I was going to say?”He laughed, “I'm not dumb, as far as I'm concerned you're sorted. If this is the worst thing you’re going to throw at me then that's great. When you're daddy dropped you off I was worried about drugs and all sorts."

 

"At least I won't get someone pregnant." Dean joked.

 

"Exactly, now we just have to worry about Sam." They exchanged a look and then laughed. As if.

 

**

Dean flopped down on the coach, shoved his feet on Sam's lap and then crossed them, the younger man tried to push them off but Dean kicked him.

"Ow! Dean, get off! I'm trying to watch this!" Sam shoved him again but before they could get into a scuffle Bobby cleared his throat and stared pointedly at the two. Dean bent his knees and moved out of Sam's way. He decided it wasn't the best idea to annoy Bobby. He had just finished cleaning up the mess from dinner, it was pain and he vowed that when he got his own place he would buy a dishwasher, He wasnt sure how he had got stuck with cooking and washing th dishes, how was that fair? He yawned, he was really tired and thought about going to bed but he was too lazy to move now he had sat down. He watched whotever it was that his uncle and brother was watching and was just starting to get into it when his phone rang loudly in his pocket, he answered it without looking, it could only be one person.

"Hey, babe."

"Heeeeyyybaaaabbeee." Sam mocked and Dean kicked him again, his face burning with embarrassment at his slip of tongue. Dean gave him the finger and pulled a face at him, Bobby smiled in amusement. The line was too quiet and he thought he might have hung up on Cas with his face (wouldn't be the first time) but his phone was still counting the seconds up on the bright display. "Hello?"

"Can you come and see me?" Cas' voice was broken and he sobbed as soon as his words were out. 

"For fucks sake." He cursed under his breath, what the hell had happened now? He had left him happy, he'd only been gone a few hours and someone had upset him already. Poor Cas didn't get a break from it. "I'm going out, I'll text you." He said to Bobby as he rolled off the sofa. The old man looked concerned but he just nodded and watched him walk out the door. Dean was back in his car within a few seconds.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know who else to call. I don't want to bother you." Cas’ mouth was too close to the phone and his breath made the line rattle slightly. He pulled on his seat belt and put his phone on loud speaker on his lap.

"No, no, it’s fine. Are you okay? What's happened?" He turned in the ignition and pulled back out the drive. Cas didn't answer he just whined. Dean was furious; he just knew that it was going to be about his family. Again. 

Cas didn't speak but he could still hear him breathing so he knew he was in the line. "Come on baby talk to me, what do you need me to do?" He asked as he pulled up to a set if traffic lights. He was about half way to Cas' house, he didn't even know what he was going to do once he got there, it wasn't like he could just knock on the door and walk in. 

"I'm just sick of this all the time, I don't understand why they expect so much from me, they aren't like this with the others. I feel completely victimised by them, it's like they personally pick on me and all I try to do is be a good son and a good brother. They think the sun shines out everyone else's asses but when it comes to me they won't turn a blind eye. Everything is my fault even if I'm not there and it's out if my control. It doesn't matter what I do I-“ He went silent and Dean glanced down but his phone was face down so he couldn’t see the screen. He was going to pick it up but he decided against it. The roads were mostly bare but he should concentrate on the roads at night, he didn’t want to hit a dog or something.

Dean dimmed his headlights as he arrived onto Cas street, there was no way they would see him over their wall but he wasn't going to risk it. He pulled by under a tree across the road and turned off baby, pulling in his handbrake before picking up his phone to call Cas back. His phone was dead, he had charged it last night but it had been a long day today. He tried to turn it on so he coud at least send a quick text or prank call him but an empty battery sign just flashed at him and then disapeared.

 

 

 Fuck.

 

 

It had just gone ten o'clock according to the impala's dashboard and Cas light was the only one on at the front of the house.

 

 

He climbed out his car cursing to himself and made his way over to the street, he hoped Cas didn't have nosy neighbours because Bobby would kill him if he escorted home via the feds. He climbed over he closed iron gate carefully and gently lowered himself to the ground, he stepped onto the grass, paranoid he would make too much noise in the gravel. Dean froze on the spot and scoured the building for outside light, the last thing he needed was his own personal spotlight highlighting his arrival. He took a cautious step forward, he thought back to the few times Ca had snook out with him. He didn't ever remember a light being on; he would just have to risk it. He pressed himself as close as he could to the wall until he reached the shrubbery and the trees where they had stood and kissed before, he shimmied around them, he eyes glancing between the windows. Thankfully no light came on but it gave him little relief. He reached the drain pipe that ran close to Cas bedroom window, he debated throwing some stones up to try and get his attention instead of climbing up but he didn't want to take the risk of breaking a window or worse, hitting one that belonged to Cas' parents. He took once last look up, it was really high, and gulped thickly, his palms already becoming sweaty in the fear of climbing up. Cas better fricking appreciate this. He had never climbed something so high in his life and he wasn't brilliant with heights as it was, and his room was on the third floor. He reached up high to grab one of the brackets and put his sneaker against the wall hoping it would grip, he pulled himself up hard. It shouldn't be so hard to lift his own body weight, he hadn’t realised how unfit he had become, he should really start playing sports again. He wondered if Cas would join a club with him? Ha, now that would be the day when Cas voluntarily did sports without sidetracking himself with Dean's dick. Okay, he should really concentrate, he could fall and die.

 

 

When he reached Cas' room he held in for dear life and tried to jam his shoes into the brackets under his feet. He was balanced rather precociously, his ankles bent awkwardly and his sweaty hands not making it any easier. With a hesitant and trembling hand he knocked quietly in the window, aware that he was right next to the room that now housed Alfie. There was no response for a while and Dean could feel himself slipping, he squeaked and clung on for dear life in the manliest way possible. "Cas, get out here before I kick your ass." He hissed. Cas appeared a few seconds later and opened the window, he looked shocked as Dean climbed through.

 

“I didn’t think you were coming, you hung up on me.” He sniffled, his face was flushed pink and clear tear tracks were on his cheeks. Dean was happy when his feet were back on the ground and gratefully gripped his friend’s hands to try and steady his vertigo. He moved them quickly and shoved them behind his back once his balance was back, he didn’t want Cas to see how badly they were shaking.

 

“Of course I was coming; I will always come when you call. What happened?” His question was suddenly muffled by Cas’ hair; he had stepped forwards and buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. He interlinked one set of their fingers and then with his other arm, hugged him. Cas sighed but he sounded comforted, a lot calmer than he had on the phone.

 

“I don’t really want to talk about it, there’s no point even crying about it, I don’t know why I let myself get so frustrated.” He pulled out their embrace and looked at Dean awkwardly. “can you just come and lay with me for a while?” Dean found himself nodding. It didn’t matter that it was a school night or that Bobby might be worried, even that he might be caught, all that mattered was holding Cas, making him feel better.

 

“Of course, what ever you want Cas.” He toed off his shoes and shrugged off his leather jacket, he let it fall to the floor. He glanced towards Cas’ door, it was locked, but one thing that was worrying was that there was a chair Dean had never seen before pressed under the handle. Things ran through his mind, flashbacks of his own life, of him locking Sammy and himself in the bathroom the same way while John screamed downstairs, of them crying and broken on the floor as he rocked Sam back and forth. He gulped thickly and looked back to Cas, trying to shove the feeling down, that wasnt his life anymore and he prayed that Cas wasn’t hiding something as awfully dark. He watched Cas climb back into bed, he was wearing a t-shirt and his boxers, he hesitated before unbottoning his own trousers and then pulling them down. He climbed in next to him and turned the lamp off.

 

They found each other like magnets, meeting mutully in the centre of the bed and then sticking together, holding each other as close as physically possible.

 

“How do you make everything better just by being here?” Dean squeezed him gently and hooked his knee over Cas’ hip, wrapping around him.

 

“I’m just that amazing, I can’t help it.” Cas slapped him lightly and it made him smile because he knew that he must be feeling better already. Cas let his touch linger and then put his hand up the back of Dean’s shirt, stroking across his skin. He then leant up and pressed his lips to Dean’s firmly, a long and insistent caress. He pulled away and left dean feeling breathless.

 

“Sorry, I just needed to feel you. “ He muttered and snuggled up even closer.

 

“I’m almost laying on you, we can’t get much closer.” He teased.

 

“Still not close enough.” He disagreed. “Thank you, I mean it, you’re always here...”

 

“Seriously, don’t worry about it.” He yawned, he was so comfortable. “I’d only be at home wanking by now.”

 

“You’re gross.” He mumbled but he sounded like he didn’t mind one bit.

 

“Don’t lie, you love that thought.” Dean teased, trying to get a smile out of him, if he could just make Cas smile then he knew everything would be better, that he had at least made a difference. The only problem was that he was so tired and he was so relaxed lying like this.

 

“Yeah, I do.” He sighed.

 

“I’m only joking baby, are you really okay?” Dean needed him to be okay, needed him to be happy. When Cas was sad or pissed off or having any kind of problem it felt like it weighed him down, that is was his problem and he needed to fix it and make it better. Not for his own sake, or his own benefit but for Cas. The only other person he had felt that with was Sam but that was different because Cas wasn’t his family, even though sometimes it felt like it.

 

“I just need to lay here with you a bit longer, don’t leave yet, please?” When he said it, he gripped him tighter and Dean’s heart broke a little because it sounded like Cas was doubtful, that he was already disappointed because Dean had left. He couldn’t stand to hear him that sad.

 

“Im not going anywhere until you want me to.” He could feel Cas nodding and he shifted so he could rest his head against Dean’s chest. It was comforting and he really would rather be nowhere else in the world.

 

They drifted to sleep.


	32. Chapter thirteen - Part Three

There was an insistent rapping to the left of him and he groaned and pulled the pillow over his head, it was way too early for this crap, who the hell was banging?!

 

“Castiel!” Dean opened his eyes confused. Why did it sound like Gabriel was banging on his door? The banging got louder and was followed by two thuds to the door that sounded like it had been kicked. “We’re going to be late!” He yelled again before giving up.

 

He sat up in shock and realised he wasn’t at home. Fuck! He had fallen asleep at Cas’ house!

 

“You need to leave!” Cas hissed before literally kicking him out the bed. He landed on the floor with a muffled “Ouch!” and scrambled to pull his clothes on. What time was it? He needed to get home to Sam! He quickly gathered his things and looked for his phone before he remembered it was dead, he couldn’t even call it.

 

“I can’t find my phone.” He panicked, tapping his jeans pockets.

 

“I’ll look in a second, meet me in the canteen at seven-thirty.” Cas was stressing out, running around and shoving school books into his bag and then disappeared into his closet. Dean hesitated by the window, not for the fact that he now had to climb out it so he didn’t get caught, but because it didn’t feel right that he had to leave this way. Cas hadn’t even said good bye. Didn’t he at least deserve a good morning kiss after staying the night? He ignored the feeling and decided to man up.

 

He climbed outside and took extra care not to look down because he knew he would fall on his ass and probably break something. He was about half way down when he heard tapping on glass, he gripped the bracket tight in surprise and knew he had been caught. He looked across to see Gabriel in the study, gesturing vividly for him to stay put and not to move. He wasn’t sure whether to just let go and drop to the ground and leg it out of there or to do as he was told. The problem with Gabriel was he joked around so much that he couldn’t tell when he was being serious, and he was such a little shit that he didn’t know if he was trying to help or to get him in trouble. He was pointing down towards the front door.  Dean stared blankly at him, not sure what he wanted and trying to make a decision before he was caught by Cas’ parents. Gabriel rolled his eyes and disappeared for a second. He fiddled around with something on the desk and then pressed a piece of paper to the glass that said MICHAEL.

 

Okay, that was worse.

 

And as warned Michael was strolling out of the front door and jumping into a car Dean hadn’t seen before. He was frozen to the spot, hanging off freaking gutter pipe and trying to make himself as small as possible. His sneaker slid down a few inches and he whimpered, oh God, he was going to die. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on the bracket, trying to ignore the pain in his hands. He listened for the sound of him driving off and then promptly fell onto his arse. He could hear Gabriel’s laughing as he appeared at the living room window and pulled a face on the glass. Dean limped off feeling like it was more than his pride bruised.

 

* * *

 

He got home in record time; luckily it was still too early for the school run traffic. He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time and ran straight into Bobby on the stairs who raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“I’m sorry!” He begged. With everything that had happened he had forgotten he hadn’t told Bobby he wouldn’t be home. He hoped he wouldn’t get grounded. “I know I should have called but my phone died and then he was crying! I couldn’t just leave him. I promise Ill make it up to you.” Bobby sighed.

 

“Just try and let me know next time, I was worried! And I’m sure you don’t want me driving to the Milton’s to ask if my kid is there.” Dean paled at the thought but at the same time was oddly touched because Bobby ad called him his kid. He obviously couldn’t be that annoyed, he didn’t want Bobby to be upset with him.

 

“No, I’m sorry Bobby.” And he was. He hadn’t planned to fall asleep, he was just going to stay until Cas was settled but it hadn’t gone to plan.

 

“It’s fine, just be more considerate next time.” He nodded, grateful to Bobby that he seemed to understand and was letting him off. He knew he would be annoyed if Sam had done that to him. But it did bother him a little bit that he had cared so little about what Bobby would think last night, he had brushed him aside and let Cas become his priority, he wasn’t used to putting other people before his family but... it was Cas. “Your lunch is in the fridge and I sorted your gym kit out for you.” Dean felt like he could hug him for a second, he had been worried on the way home about getting it all done in time. Even though Bobby had been annoyed and worried Dean hadn’t come home, he had still trusted him to get home safe and had helped him with his morning routine in case he wasn’t home in time.

 

“Thank you, you’re great, and I promise I’ll let you know next time.” He made a mental note to put Bobby’s number in Cas’ phone in case the same thing happened again.

 

“Good because I’m sure I’m going grey and it’s your fault.” He joked. Dean grinned sweetly and hoped he was forgiven.

 

“Can I go now? I need to get changed.” Dean smiled and went to push past him but Bobby grabbed his arm and his attention again.

 

“Did you sort it out, what was wrong with him?” Dean smile dropped. No he hadn’t, not really, he didn’t even know what was wrong with him, he hadn’t told him. He shook his head no, sadly. His mind flashed to the image of the chair against the door and he wondered if he should mention it to his uncle. “Communication Dean, remember?” Dean stared at him, itching to say something but unsure if he should get involved in such things. Especially since Castiel seemed so adamant not to talk about it and to cope on his own. He just wished he could help him with whatever it was, that he would share his burden with Dean and realise that he wasn’t alone.

 

“Okay, I’ll try my best.” He said in the end, he would try and sort it out with Cas; he needed to know what was going on. Even if it was something small he knew he could help, or at least try his best.

 

* * *

 

 

They met at seven-thirty as planned in the canteen, and as Cas had mentioned yesterday Alfie and Gabriel were with him, they were sat drinking hot chocolate and each had a book in hand. Cas showed no signs of his previous distress from this morning or last night, in fact he looked calm, concentrating on steadily reading from his bible. Dean hoped Gabriel wouldn’t mention anything to Sam about him practically jumping from Cas’ window this morning. The teasing would be tedious. They both sat down, Sam next to Gabriel and Dean next to Cas. Alfie was sat on the other side of Gabriel and was dressed in a smart pair of jeans and a nice shirt and was wearing one of Cas’ ties, Dean recognised it and was glad they were all still getting on. He was just about to say hello when Gabriel put a finger to his lips and looked at the two brothers, silently telling them to be quiet as Castiel read.

 

“Isaiah chapter thirteen verse ten says: for in the sky the stars and Orion will shed their light no longer, the sun will be dark when it rises and the moon will no longer give its light. And Matthew chapter twenty-four, verse twenty-nine says: Immediately after the distress of those days the sun will be darkened, the moon will not give its light, the stars will fall from the sky and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. What do you think this means?” Cas looked between the two boys sat opposite him, Gabriel flicked through his bible looking confused. Dean sighed and tapped his fingers on the table thinking. Cas looked so normal compared to last night, it was strange to think he had been that upset just hours ago. It was awful how easily he had turned it all off and pretended that he was fine. How many times had he done that before he had Dean to call to at least admit he had a problem, that he was sad or frustrated? The thought made him really uncomfortable and he slipped his hand under the table and squeezed Cas’ thigh just as he said, “What do you think, Alfie?” His voice wavered slightly at the end and he glanced at Dean and grinned.

 

“I think that the symbolic language of these passages indicates an event in salvation history that will have cataclysmic consequences.” Castiel grinned and nodded, his other hand joining Dean’s under the table.

 

“Very good. Do you understand that Gabriel?” He nodded slowly. “And what specifically is being referred to here? What is going to happen when God punishes us for our sins?” He stared at Gabriel encouragingly, Alfie turned and looked as well as they waited for an answer. Dean shifted awkwardly and tried to peer at what Cas was reading to see if it held any answers, he might as well be speaking in German, but it didn’t it was just a list of prompts and little numbers. He could tell that Cas was amused by how clueless he was.

 

“Well it says that heaven will become agitated and the stars will fall from the sky? So that’s-“

 

“Back a little bit, I think you’ve read too far, we’re talking about the sun.” Alfie leant over and pointed to the correct paragraph, Gabriel smiled at him in thanks and Sam leant over to read as well.

 

“The sun will be darkened and the moon won’t give light so…” Gabriel stared hard at his bible as if waiting for the answer to jump up at him.

 

“It’s an eclipse; there will be an eclipse, right?” Sam looked up from the book and then unsurely at Cas as he spoke.

 

“Very good Sam, that’s right, although, it is only a possibility.” Dean stared at Sam gobsmacked, where the hell had he got that from? “But well done Gabriel, you were on the right lines; we can look more at Isaiah chapter thirteen when we get home if you want?” Gabriel nodded and sighed.

 

“I feel like I’ll never get it.”

 

“I think we’ve had enough for today, let’s close with a prayer shall we? Alfie would you like to pray for us?”

 

“No I’ll do it!” Cas rolled his eyes and pushed Dean’s hand away so he could clasp them in his lap. Dean took that as his time to leave and go and get his own hot chocolate, once a week was enough for him.

 

* * *

 

 

Most of the school day was uneventful, before school he walked Cas and Alfie to the principal’s office and waited outside while he was registered. They walked him to his homeroom and Cas examined his timetable and wrote down all his lessons on the back of it so Alfie would know where he was. They had gym together after break and surprisingly Alfie was in Dean’s math class which wouldn’t have been a problem if Alfie hadn’t sat next to him and started possibly the most awkward conversation he had ever had.

 

“I know it’s not really my place to know but can I ask you a question?” Well, that was never a good conversation starter.

 

“Depends on what it is I suppose.”He grabbed his books out of his bag and put them on the desk in front of him, he shoved his bag under the table. The teacher wasn’t there yet but there was instructions sprawled across the whiteboard. Any other class he would goof around until the teacher arrived but Mr. Hendrickson wasn’t the kind of person you wanted to annoy.

 

“About last night?” Dean froze and tried to look indifferent and he found the right page in his text book. “They were arguing all night. I could hear him crying for ages, I wasn’t sure what to do, then he messed his room up, his books were everywhere. I couldn’t ignore it so I knocked but he just pushed passed me and stormed back down stairs to carry on fighting. I wasn’t sure what to do so I tidied his room for him, I wanted to help but I wasn’t sure how. He hasn’t spoken to me since, not properly like he did yesterday. Is he going to be okay? Do you think he’s mad I touched his stuff?” Dean gulped thickly as he processed the information. Cas had trashed his room? “I’ve never heard someone yell so loud and Cas seemed so nice, quiet, but he was really screaming, he was really upset.”

 

“What was he yelling about?” It didn’t seem like Cas to pick a fight, actively seek out confrontation. He must have been really annoyed or someone had wound him up to breaking point.

 

“I couldn’t distinguish it at all, I could hear it but it was incoherent, I caught a few snippets before I closed my window but I don’t really know what they were saying, it didn’t make a lot of sense.” Dean stared at him suspiciously; he looked like he was hiding something. He stared at him until he fidgeted, he knew he shouldn’t intimidate the kid but this was a chance to hear some answers. “There was a lot of swearing and he said something about someone lying?”

 

“So he was fighting with..?”

 

“Michael.” Dean frowned and tried to calm his boiling blood. That jackass had strolled out this morning looking like he didn’t have a worry in the world. What a dick.

 

“I should have guessed.” He muttered under his breath, his head was a mess. Michael was a big guy against Cas and now all he was thinking about was the chair against the door again, the chair that was making him feel safe against Michael. “And what about his mom and dad? What happened with them?” Surely they wouldn’t just let the two of them scream at each other?

 

“What about them?”

 

“Well did they split them up? Defend him? Scold him?” He voice was rising as he could feel the anger burning through him. He didn’t like the thought of Cas being scared in his own home, of Michael picking fights with him. Alfie twisted his hands in his lap awkwardly.

 

“I-I don’t know. I just wanted to know if you could fill in some gaps.” He sounded desperate and like he might cry. Dean calmed down a little and tried to by sympathetic towards Alfie. He had forgotten last night was his first night in the house. “New home, new family.” He scoffed. “In reality I’m surrounded by strangers and last night I felt so lost and useless. I made a friend in Castiel and last night I couldn’t help him, comfort him. He was the only one who reached out and tried to bond with me and now I feel like that’s all been undone and I don’t know how to talk to him after that.” Dean didn’t know what to say at Alfie's confession. He had no advice for him; he didn’t know how to make him feel better either.

 

“You can always talk to me, and Cas isn’t unapproachable, he gets it. But he’s very private. He didn’t tell me anything about last night.”

 

“But you were there, I know you were.” He looked confused; dean turned to him alarmed and gave up trying to look like he was working.

 

“Look Alfie, I’m sorry what happened last night, that must have been hard on you, especially on your first night and not knowing where you stand or what you should do. And I know this will put you in an awkward situation but you can’t tell anyone I was there, Gabriel knows and that’s already one person too many. Cas would get in so much trouble if he we were caught.”

 

“I understand, he’s your friend and he needed you. I was glad when I saw you in the garden; I knew you were there to cheer him up. I won’t say anything to anyone, I’m not like that.” He reassured him and Dean was happy that he wasn’t even attempting to joke about it like Gabriel would.

 

“I don’t have any answers for you to be honest, I know there’s something going on in that house to do with Cas, I just don’t know what it is. He won’t open up to me about it so I can’t help you, I can’t tell you what’s going on and I can’t tell you how to help him because I don’t know myself. And no offence, Alfie you seem like a really nice guy but I’m not sure I would tell you if I knew, I couldn’t break his confidence like that.”

 

“Well, I’m happy that he has a friend like you. I hope we can be good friends too.”

 

“Of course man, why not?” Alfie smiled.

 

“And erm, I promise I not mention... you know the other thing to anyone as well.” Dean turned his attention back to his empty notebook as Alfie stared at him pointedly.

 

“No I don’t know. What other thing?” Suddenly they were sat far too close and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation, they shouldn’t be talking like this anyway, Cas would be upset to know Dean was talking behind his back.

 

“I didn’t mean to hear it,” He had hushed his voice and leant closer to Dean. “You know, about Cas. Michael was yelling outside my room though, eventually I opened my door and told him I was trying to sleep and he went away. But I don’t judge, I mean, I’ve never met someone like... that. But I don’t believe what Michael says. You don’t have to worry, I’m on his side with that and I’ll stick up for him next time, no-one should be spoken to like that. I was just so scared of him turning on me.” Dean found himself intreaged with that had been said last night and if it was what he thought it was then it was partially his fault.

 

“What _did_ he say Alfie?” The young man looked uncomfortable.

 

“He was banging on his door and called him some really horrible names, said he was going to hell for what he had done.”

 

“...And what did he do?”

 

Dean was openly staring at him now, his grip painfully tight on his pen. He needed to hear him say it and once he did he was going to fucking kill Michael. He wished he had woken up earlier and smashed his stupid fucking overly flashy car.

 

“Well nothing, he-“

 

“What?” he growled. “What did he do that was so bad that he deserved to cry like that? To be that scared?” He realised his eyes were filling up and he blinked angrily, trying to make them clear.

 

“Nothing! He just-“ he held his hands up in surrender, to try and tell Dean he didn’t mean any harm. Then his eyes widened as if putting two and two together. He held his breath and lowered his hands, then avoided looking at Dean. Now he knew that he knew, just one more person to add to the ever growing list. He wasn’t sure why but he was embarrassed and felt a little bit defensive even though Alfie had just went out of his way to explain that he didn’t care about that type of thing. Alfie looked at him again, his face red with embarrassment as well.

 

“I didn’t realise, I’m sorry, I’ll just shut my mouth now.” He looked like he wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole.

 

“It’s fine.” He muttered, annoyed that his face was burning. He looked around self-consciously, praying that no-one had heard any of their conversation. He was so stupid; he shouldn’t be talking about this in the middle of a lesson. “Just don’t say anything okay, no-one knows and it needs to stay that way. We’re not- it’s just-“ Dean wasn’t sure why he was trying to explain himself. “Cas is my best friend and things don’t need to get any more difficult for him. You seem like a decent guy, just do this one thing and keep quiet, just this one thing and I’ll owe you big time.”

 

“I wasn’t going to-“

 

“Just don’t!” He snapped. Alfie flinched and recoiled instantly, drawing himself away from dean. He didn’t mean for that to happen, the words just came out, he didn’t want Alfie to be afraid of him. He wasn’t even annoyed with him, he really liked Alfie, he was a nice guy! But now because of Dean he was staring at the table and shifted in his seat.

 

“Maybe I should go...” He mumbled and then sadly scoured the room to find an empty seat.

 

“No don’t!” he begged, turning to face him. “You don’t have to go and sit with them idiots, stay.” Alfie looked at him unsurely. “Come on, Cas will kick my ass if he knows I didn’t look out for you. Stay and I’ll fill you in with what you’ve missed.”

 

“Okay.” He nodded and sat back in his chair again. They looked at each other, not quite knowing what to say. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m really socially awkward and I’m not used to talking to people.”

 

“You didn’t offend me; it’s just a sensitive subject. It was unexpected and recent. Life doesn’t always take you where you think t will you know?”

 

“Yes, I know that more than anyone. But still, I mean it.”

 

“Don’t be, I’m the one who should apologise, I’m the one who snapped. Just, let’s forget this, okay? But thanks for telling me what happened, I’d be grateful if you could call me if it happens again, I don’t want him suffering alone.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Good, I’m glad all of that’s out the way. Now, are you any good at this 'cause I suck.”

 

Alfie laughed.


	33. Chapter thirteen - Part Four

Dean left school feeling like he needed to speak to Cas more than ever; he was really upset about what Alfie had said. When he got to the car park he was disappointed to see that Cas had already left. He drove Sam home and pretended he was fine. He called Cas several times but the line just rang. He debated going to work but he didn’t want to face Bobby after he hadn’t spoken to Cas again. He would just ask questions and make him feel worse.

 

He collapsed on his bed and groaned into his pillow. Why was life so hard?

 

“Dean!” Sam yelled and thundered up the stairs, erg, and Sam; he didn’t want to deal with Sam right now. Didn’t he have anything better to do than bother him when he was having an emotion crisis?

 

“What?!” He yelled back and pulled himself out of bed. He pulled off the clothes he had been wearing at school. He pulled his shirt off as his door opened. “Get out douche-whore, what did I say about being in my room?” He snapped before he realised Cas was standing with his back pressed against his now closed door. He was out of his suit and in a pair of grey slacks and brown loafers and a white shirt; he would look very dapper if he didn’t look so moody. He still gave Dean butterflies though.

 

“Douche-whore?”He raised an eyebrow at him. Fuck, why did he have to embarrass himself in front of Cas? He pulled his clean shirt on and blushed.

 

“I didn’t mean you, baby! I thought you were Sam! What are you doing here? I tried calling you.” He stepped towards him and placed his hands on his waist. He was so happy Cas wasn’t ignoring him, he had been worried after he had got rid of him so quickly the morning and he hadn’t even asked if he was okay when he fell from the window, he knew Gabriel must have said something, he had thought Cas was mad at him.

 

“Sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you; I was just dealing with some things.” Dean searched Cas’ eyes, hoping they held the answers. Cas stared up at him sadly, he hadn’t been himself today, he had barely spoken to Dean, he just wanted to be there for him. He shouldn’t be so selfish, more concerned why he didn’t get a goodbye kiss than what Cas was going through, he was a horrible person.

 

“Are you okay?” He wrapped him into his arms and felt Cas lean into him. He felt protective of him and it felt so good to have him in his arms, surrounded by the feel of him and his unique smell.

 

“I’ll be fine,” He sighed and pulled out of the embrace. “I just want to forget about it, do something to distract myself. I wondered if you wanted to come to the library with me? I could help you with chemistry again.” Dean pouted.

 

“Do we have to? Can’t we do something else?”

 

“If you want to at least attempt a scholarship then no.” Dean knew Cas was only being logical but he still groaned. The library was the last place he wanted to go. He had been hoping Cas would curl up on the couch with him and they could watch bad movies until Dean got the courage to try and ask him about Michael and what was going on with his family.

 

“But I hate the library-” He argued.

 

Cas scoffed. “You liked it last week!” That wasn’t true, it was okay at most.  


“No I didn’t mind it last week and that was before I knew someone was drooling at you through the book shelves.” It meant to come out as harmless banter but it sounded a bit vicious and he flushed again.  


“Meg is mostly harmless.” He replied mysteriously and grinned, avoiding looking at him, an innocent look overtaking him. He felt a rush of relief at the sight of that small smile, the teasing tone. Cas was flirting with him again.  


“Mostly?” He challenged playfully.  


“What are you jealous or something?” He grinned, full well knowing the answer. Dean frowned and shut up, he was never going to admit that was. Meg wasn’t exactly his taste but she was slender and has nice hair and a sweet face, he wasn’t blind, she was pretty and had probably been infatuated with Castiel for a long time. He couldn’t compete with that. He shrugged and tried to pretend he wasn’t bothered.

 

“Come on ‘douche-whore’, Meg isn’t my type, I’m only interested in one person, and you know that.” He nudged him with his elbow and gave him a half smile. Dean nodded and grabbed his things, they headed for the library.

 

*

 

“How did you get out the house anyway, I noticed your brother was there this morning, that’s a bit risky, four siblings and two parents to sneak around.” They had been there over an hour and half, it was coming up to six o’clock and it was steadily spitting outside, the sky dark. It was miserable and Dean was glad he had Cas’ company to keep him cheerful. He hated the rain. They were sat at a table at the back of the room; their hands held in the middle, it was handy that Cas was left handed sometimes.

 

“I don’t care, I just couldn’t be there today. They drive me insane. I just climbed out the window, they will probably think I’m just in a mood when I don’t answer.” Dean saw it as his chance to ask something, get the conversation going but he was rudely interrupted.

 

"Cassie!" An annoying voice yelled and Dean groaned internally and wondered if Cas would be offended if he went home for this reason only. Balthazar sat down opposite them and Dean let go of Cas' hand, he wasn't in the mood for being teased. "Oh and you bought your boy toy as well, how lovely." Cas rolled his eyes and ignored him which Dean was thankful for. He hoped that Bas was one of those people that I you ignored him long enough he would go away.

 

After half an hour of his inane chatting he realised he really wasn't going to go away. He was going on and on and on about a load of things that Dean didn't understand but Castiel seemed to and it made him angry and embarrassed that he didn’t understand their references or even what the two of them found so funny. He felt like a third wheel. He debated leaving because he was starting to feel jealous and bitter but he had given Cas a lift here so he would have to take him home, it was too far to walk and it was raining pretty heavy, yes he had his trusty trench coat but he wasn’t a dick.

 

"-and I swear if I don't get a decent date out if this auction then I'm not going to bother anymore and your sister will owe me big time. Oh goodness, imagine if Becky tries to buy me? I think I'd prefer to-" Dean snapped out of his train of thought. He had caught some of what Bas had been saying and it concerned him slightly. Auction? Surely he wasn’t talking about the Christmas auction.

 

"Buy you? What the hell are you talking about? Why would Becky buy you?" He asked before he could help it, h hoped he didn’t sound stupid because he felt stupid around the two of them.

 

"Becky Rosen? She’s one of Anna's strange friends and she was saying who she already knows who she's going to bid for at the auction." He spoke to Dean like he was addressing a five year old.

 

"She 'borrowed' Anna's laptop to find out the participating males last week; I'm still haunted by the screams." Cas mimicked quotation marks around the word borrowed, God did he have to be so adorable? Dean still raised an eyebrow at his friend. He could have given him a heads up about what the auction was actually about, no wonder Jo had been so excited for him to take part.

 

"So let me get this straight, you are talking about _the_ auction and not some other thing that I’m hopefully not involved in?"

 

"The charity auction Dean, the one that you're taking part in."

 

"I didn't realise I was he freaking merchandise!" Balthazar’s face lit up and Dean scowled. He was going to be lined up with all the rich little daddy boy’s and sold for- for what?

 

"You really are clueless aren't you? What did you think we were auctioning hmmm? It's not like anyone would donate anything worthwhile. The fair was a bust last year when they cut the auction; I knew it wouldn't be long until it was back."

 

"So what? What do I have to do? I'm not like a slave or a day or something am I?" He ignored Balthazar and turned to ask Cas.

 

"Oh Cassie, I see he's just a pretty face, what a waste."

 

"Balthazar, don't be rude to Dean or we’ll leave. I’m sick of people complaining about Dean so shut up." He snapped so loud then a few people turned and stared at them. His face flushed bright red.

 

“Who’s complaining about me?” He asked, worried. “What is Michael?” Cas’ gulped thickly and refused to luck at him.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He stood up and hurriedly shoved stuff into his bag.

 

“Castiel, I’m sorry, I like Dean, I was just joking, you know my sense of humour, I-”

 

“Just forget it Bas, I’ll see you another day.” Cas stormed off and Dean scrambled to collect his things, he shot a sympathetic look to Balthazar before he left. He hadn’t meant to upset Cas, even he knew that and he didn’t even like the guy.

 

Cas was waiting outside and looked upset.

 

“Are you okay?” He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He turned to him and looked up into Dean’s eyes.

 

“Can we go to the lakes? To our spot, I just need to escape for a while.” Dean nodded gently, he wished he could hug him but there were too many people around.

 

“Anything you want sweetheart.” He smiled at him softly and they ran to the car, book bags on their heads to shelter them from the rain.

 

*

They sat in the impala near to the same place they had a picnic, he didn’t go off the main path because of the rain, the grass would turn to mush under the tyres. They listened to the radio and spoke about small, insignificant things. Mostly it was a comfortable silence but something about Cas was off, he was too nervous to even hold his hand. Any other day they would be making out in the back seat but today Cas was upset. It was obvious even though he hadn’t said as much.

 

It was dark outside and Dean checked his phone, it was five past eight, he knew Cas would be in trouble for being out the house; they bound to have noticed by now. He had a sneaky suspicion the other guy had turned his phone off. He sent a quick text to Bobby explaining he was out with Cas in the car and he wasn’t sure what time he would be home but he was going to talk to him about stuff. He placed his on the dash nervously.

 

“I really don’t want to go home.” Cas continued to stare out the window, his expression troublesome. Dean hadn’t mentioned to Cas that he knew about his argument with Michael. He wasn’t sure if he was going to say anything, even though Cas seemed fine he knew he was delicate at the moment. He didn’t want to take the risk that he had got over it then him mentioning it could bring back all the anguish.

 

“Okay, hmmmm...” Dean tapped his hands on the steering wheel in time to the music on the radio as he thought. “You could come back to mine?” He suggested, he knew Bobby wouldn’t mind. Cas shrugged and looked uneasy. Dean stilled his hands, his mood becoming sombre as he looked at his friend. “You don’t have to, we could go somewhere nice? I’m just not sure where to be honest.” Cas was still looking out the window and Dean wished he would at least look at him.

 

“I just don’t know what I want right now. I’m going to go for a walk I think.” He opened the car door and went to step out into the rain.

 

“No wait, it’s like storm out there!” He grabbed him by the back of his trench coat; he still hovered half outside, one foot in the car and the other on the wet ground. “Don’t leave, I’ll take you out, we’ll go for dinner or to the movies.” Cas’ shoulders slumped further. “Or not! We can do whatever you want, just don’t block me out okay?” Cas turned and looked at him and Dean let go. He stared blankly at Dean for a few seconds before he accepted defeat and relaxed back against the car seat, he shut the door.

 

Dean wasn’t sure what to say. Cas was obviously in a bad place right now and he didn’t know how to help him, he felt useless. He felt all the things he suggested to cheer him up were too superficial and he didn’t know how to breach the subject without breaking the dam.

 

“Why are you doing this?” His voice wavered as he asked. Dean watched Cas as he stared down into his lap, his hands flat on his knees and his expression blank. Dean gulped and wondered what he had done wrong. He felt nervous, he had sounded so accusing when he said it.

 

“What did I do?” He asked unsurely, timid even, his voice quiet to match Cas’. He didn’t want to upset him but looking at him now it realised he already had. He just didn’t know what he had done. Cas didn’t answer him but continued to stare downwards. “I’m sorry.” He reached forwards hesitantly and placed his hand over Castiel’s. Cas looked up at him and turned his hand to face upwards, gripping his hand like a lifeline and his blue eyes full of tears. Dean felt his mood drop into something borderline depressed as he looked at him. His stomach felt empty and his mind blanked, fear gnawed at him and left him feeling distressed, something felt wrong. He took a deep breath through his nose and tried to calm his heart, he felt like he was missing something important, Cas had never looked so serious, so sad.

 

“You’re so nice. I don’t understand, you choose to be here, to help me even though you barely know me. Sometimes you look at me like I’m some kind of angel and I’m not, I’m ugly and bitter inside, selfish.” The words started soft but were spat out by the end of the sentence, anger twisting Cas’ facial expression into something ugly as his self hatred bubbled to the surface, it didn’t suit him. He squeezed his hand a bit too hard and he concentrated on not pulling away. Dean was confused, he felt like he knew Cas more than anyone else, felt closer to him that he had thought possible. When he was with Cas he felt like everything that had happened in his life had lead up to him meeting this man, his beautiful best friend who he couldn’t live without. None of those things were true, he wasn’t ugly inside or out, Cas was the most wonderful person he had ever met. How long had he felt like this?

 

His hands fidgeted as he tried to think of something to say, he couldn’t bear to see such an awful expression on such a beautiful face. He thought about trying to reassure him, he wanted to tell him all the things he hadn’t been able to say before. That he loved him and cherished him, that he wanted them to be something forever and it scared him because he’d never felt this way. That he wanted Cas, wanted him more than anything in the world. He would do anything for this man, give up anything for him and Dean knew he was in serious shit if Cas didn’t feel the same way. He would never love like this again.

 

“I do know you, I know the important things. I know you are funny and kind and smart. You just don’t give yourself enough credit.” Cas scoffed and shook his head. “No listen to me.” He turned in his seat and used his free had to reach forwards and gently turn Cas’ head, his hand pressed against his jaw so he could look into his eyes. He gulped again, his stomach twisting as he tried to express himself, explain how he felt. “I know that when you laugh and you find something really funny your smile stretches so wide and I can see your gums. And your eyes, your  eyes dance and I can’t stop looking at them.” The corner of Cas’ mouth twitched and Dean felt encouraged so he carried on talking.

 

“And I know you have the softest skin I’ve ever felt and you don’t even try, how do you do that? And I know you like to hold my hand when you think I’m sleeping and I think it’s really sweet.” Cas licked his lips and looked thoughtful. “I know that you’re special and you’re going to do loads of amazing things like you want to do, go to college and speak random languages and travel the world. I know it sucks right now but it’ll be okay and I’m here, I’m always here. Just promise when you go off to all these amazing places you won’t forget me.”

 

Cas nodded slowly and took a deep shuddering breath. Tears dropped down his cheeks and he closed his eyes. He looked pained. He still didn’t say anything but he leant against Dean’s hand framing his face and that was enough for him. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest as sat forward and leant over to whisper to him. “And I know how I feel about you. How we feel about each other.” He nuzzled closer to him, stroking his thumb across his cheek, he let his breath tickle across his skin. He could hear Cas hold his breath as he pulled away, Dean wished he wasn’t so nervous to look at his face after he had said that. Cas’ eyes were shining with tears but full of hope. Dean smiled at him and Cas returned the gesture,  small and sad. They rested their foreheads together. “...I’ve been thinking about you so much Cas, about what this means and I want to be with you.” He whispered again, unable to stop the words slipping out.

 

“What did I do to deserve you?”  He sobbed and Dean’s heart lurched. He wanted to take him home and cuddle up in bed with him, hold him and hide him away from his problems but that wasn’t going to help. Was that a yes? Did he feel the same? He didn’t want to push for an answer , he was sitting on the edge of something wonderful, he hadn’t said no yet so that was a bonus. And the worse he _could_ say was no, then it didn’t make a difference. He thought about what Cas had said, he didn’t want him to feel undeserving when in fact Castiel was so far out of Dean’s league that he still questioned how he had scored someone like him.

 

“Be yourself, that’s all you’ll ever have to do.” He repeated what Cas had told him when he was feeling down about his dad, those words had really helped him and maybe Cas could benefit from his own logic right now? Cas shifted closer, the two of them leaning across the seats, the gear stick stopping them from being too close. Cas’ hand was trembling as he cupped Dean’s face.

 

“You can’t just say stuff like that. It makes me feel things that I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t. It’s lovely but it doesn’t fix anything Dean, it doesn’t make it better.” Cas backed off and Dean’s heart sank. His friends smile was gone. What he had said wasn’t enough. He felt like a fool. He had told him he... He gulped and pushed down the disappointment, it wasn’t really about him, this was about Cas. And even though he felt like he was going to hyperventilate from being rejected so carelessly he knew needed to make Cas feel better, he wouldn’t let him go home like this. He needed to make a difference. That was the most important thing not his own petty feelings.

 

“Cas, we can’t help that we feel this way.” He knew this was all to do with Michael, he was glad Alfie had told him because if he hadn’t now he would have thought this was coming out of no-where. But this wasn’t Cas, this was Michael, his over powering, controlling older brother. Dean wished he would fuck off back to the city and stop interfering in Cas’ life because that was obviously what was happening. He was filling his head with lies and doubts and that wasn’t fair. Dean was confused enough by himself  over everything that had happened, if it wasn’t for Sam and Bobby being so supportive he probably wouldn’t be dealing very well with the situation at all. He was lucky to have such good support from his family. “There’s nothing wrong with it, Bobby says it’s normal for us to experiment, we need to find ourselves as people. Loads of people go through this-”

 

“But why am _I_?” He looked stressed again, his voice raised. “Why do I feel this way? Why am I so obsessed with you?!” He yelled and hit the dashboard as he overtaken with anger and frustration at how he was feeling. He turned and glared at him annoyed and Dean visibly sank down in his seat. He felt like this was his fault but he knew that was silly because this stunk of Michael. This must have been what Cas was bottling up an even though the words weren’t his own,  the way he was staring at him was, Cas had never directed a such look at him, never. He really didn’t like it. “I was coping with everything before you showed up with your pretty fucking face and your stupid freckles and bowed legs.” Dean was offended, the things he had often complimented him with he was now turning around and he felt incredibly self-conscious. He had though Cas liked them things about him? “And you forced your way into my life and ruined everything! You made me feel these things and now I can’t stop! And I’m going to hell because I can never take it back because these feelings are here all of the time and it’s your fault!” Cas was screaming by the time he finished and breathing heavily and he understood why Alfie had thought he had seemed unapproachable after he had heard him shouting, he looked terrifying. He knew that was ridiculous because it was just Cas but still, this was unexpected. Dean stared wide eyed and found that he had unconsciously backed himself against the car door. He wasn’t going to let Cas know he was scared of him and he didn’t have to sit and listen to this. Everything Cas had said was bullshit.

 

“I didn’t _make_ you do anything.” He hated himself for how much his voice was shaking. “I didn’t make you _feel_ anything!  You came onto me! You climbed in my lap and you started all of this, if you hadn’t have kissed me I never would have dared. You can’t blame me, it just happened!”

 

“It just happened? It didn’t just fucking happen,” His voice cracked with emotion. “You tempted me and I  was weak!” Usually Dean would want to reach for him but he looked so angry, angry at him for their situation, he needed to fix this. What if this was it? Was he breaking up with him before they had even had the chance to try and do this properly? He could feel the ache in his chest already. He wasn’t ready for this, for Cas not to be part of his life.

 

“Can you stop yelling please? Maybe- Maybe we can talk through it?” He said desperately, maybe if Cas calmed down they could sort it out? But Cas wasn’t calming down, he was crying and looked a mess and even though he was scared he still wanted to help him. “Just please calm down.”

 

“I can’t! I just so tired of all this _shit_! You think you’re helping me Dean but you’re just like a drug, dangerous and addictive and fucking up my life. All I think about is getting my next fix. I can’t live this way. Michael says, he- he thinks.”

 

“What? What does he say? Because it’s not true! That asshole is-”

 

“I just wanted to feel loved, I just try to make everyone happy-“  Was he even listening?

 

“But Cas I lo-“

 

“You _do_ love me, I know you’ll never say it but I can tell. I have you, I’ll always have you.” Cas wasn’t listening to Dean at all. He looked desperate as he leant forwards and kissed him, it was wet from tears and sloppy but he didn’t mind because Cas’ lips were soft and familiar but it was just that he was pressing him a bit too hard into the door. He realised he didn’t want to kiss Cas when he was this upset. He had just really hurt his feelings and he needed to try and make things well between them, kissing wasn’t going to make it better. He had promised Bobby he would try and talk about their Cas’ problems instead of thinking with his dick. If he wanted whatever this was to work, they needed communication, he knew Bobby wouldn’t lie to him. That was how he could fix this, his uncle was right. Avoiding it would get them no-where.

 

He pushed at Cas lightly, this didn’t feel right anyway, he didn’t want to take advantage of him like this. He was doing exactly what he always did, using Dean to distract himself from how he felt and it was wrong. He pushed again but Cas didn’t budge, he whined and petted at Dean whispering that he loved him.

 

“Cas, stop. I can’t help you when you’re like this.” But Cas wasn’t listening and tried to kiss him again.

 

“But I need you.” He whimpered.

 

“You have me I’m right here and I’m trying to make things better, just get off me!”

 

Dean felt like he had lost all control of this situation, they were both too emotional and he was becoming increasingly frustrated. He didn’t want to hurt Cas but he was getting hysterical and it made him panic. He knew he shouldn’t be thinking about it but being pinned like this, it made him think of John holding him down and yelling in his face when he was drunk. He refused to be paralysed by his fear, he knew Cas didn’t know but that wasn’t the point. He shouldn’t be acting this way, there was no excuse for it. And if he was being honest about it he didn’t even want to kiss Cas, he didn’t deserve to be yelled at like that, blamed and insulted and then used. He did the only thing he could think to do with a crying and slightly scary Cas laying on him.

 

He shoved his hand behind his back and fumbled for the door handle and pulled it hard. He toppled out backwards, head first onto the wet concrete with a bang  to the back of his skull, his vision blacked out for a second and he yelped. He blinked through it and scrambled away from Cas, putting distance between them and trying to catch his breath. He sat in the rain gasping and feeling betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Cas was sniffling, sat on the floor pathetically and Dean ground his teeth angrily and resisted the urge to punch him. He had never been so annoyed with him. Dean pulled himself to his feet feeling humiliated and degraded. His mouth was twisted into a frown and he was embarrassed to find he was shaking. Dean had been involved in confrontations before and that is exactly how he felt, he felt like he had been in a fight and the fact Cas had made him feel that venerable upset him. He wasn’t even sure what the hell had just happened.

 

“I’m sorry.” Cas gasped, and the spell broke, he scrambled to his feet and reached out to him as if realising he had just forced Dean into a corner, overpowered him and screamed at him. Dean stepped back.

 

“Don’t touch me!” He barked and pointed an accusing finger at him. “I’m not a toy and you can’t use me however you like! Those things you said-“ Did Cas actually feel that way? He realised he was crying and he swiped angrily at his face but it was no use anyway, the icy rain covered his skin. “That wasn’t fair! All I’ve done is care about you! I’m sorry Michael is a dick, okay? I’m sorry your family are homophobic and you believe that you’re going someplace horrible but that’s not my fault and you can’t blame me. And you can’t speak to me like that. I deserve better!” The words poured out of Dean as he shouted at Cas, spitefully wanting to make him feel small like Cas had done to him.

 

“Dean...”

 

“Just go! I don’t want to see you right now.” He sobbed and folded his arms across his chest, he turned away looking in the opposite direction. He didn’t know what to do.

 

“I’m sorry, please don’t make me leave. I love you. I’m confused. Let’s talk like you said, please let’s talk.”

 

“Is there a point? Are you going to open up to me and talk!” He spun around and yelled at him. Bobby was right, it didn’t matter how strongly he felt for Cas, it would be worth nothing if they didn’t have any communication. “This is what happens what we don’t talk! When you bottle everything up, you turn crazy!”

 

“Please, I didn’t mean-“

 

“To what? Scare me? Hurt me? Try and force me to kiss you after blaming me for your shit family, not cool Cas. Why would I want to kiss you after that?”

 

“No Dean, I didn’t mean any of those things, I was just angry at Michael; he’s messed up my head.”

 

“Just forget it, get in the car, I’m taking you home,”

 

“I can’t go back there, not now, we need to fix this!”

 

“I don’t care we’re broken Cas! You can’t stay with me forever! Go home to your family.”

 

“They are _not_ my family, my parents are dead Dean. They left me, here in this shit town. All alone.” Cas dropped to the floor and sobbed into his hands.

 

“What? You think that makes you special? Excuses how you just made me feel?” Dean saw red, he felt like that all the time but Cas made it better, eased the ache. All along he had thought he was helping Cas and making a difference in his life but he was just making it worse, causing him problems. He never should have started this, this was a mess and he felt like his whole world was crumbling around him. He didn’t know if he could trust a word coming out of Cas’ mouth. Did he really feel that way or was he just saying it because he was angry? Either way he had said those words and he couldn’t take them back, cuts and bruises could heal but words never faded and he would never forget how Cas had spoken to him.  “We all have our shit Cas, look- you know what? I just can’t talk to you right now, I can’t be around you.” He growled in frustration and clenched his fists trying to relieve some of the tension. If he stayed then he felt like he would do something stupid.

 

So he ran, as fast as he could, his feet pounding on the wet concrete. He ran until his face burned from the cold and until he couldn’t anymore, he flopped down into the grass and screamed out his frustrations. He didn’t care he had left Cas; he wanted to be away from everything and everyone. He pulled himself to his feet whimpering and made his way through the trees until he had enough and sat down on a rock. Sobs racked through his body and his vision blurred, there was so much pain. He gripped his head in horror of what had just happened, the events catching up with him and him feeling like he was going into shock. He tried to calm down but the pain was too much, this was worse than when Cassie broke up with him, worse than every time John had left or done something stupid.

 

He tried to breathe deeply and sat up, he rubbed his hands through his hair to try and stop the water was running into his eyes and burning. He wiped them furiously but it was just getting worse and he growled in frustration. He gave up. His breath hitched in panic as he looked down and noticed his shirt was soaked red, he looked at his fingers and realised they were covered in blood. He touched the back of his head and winced, he was bleeding. He needed to get back. He shakily got to his feet and looked around, but it was too dark to notice anything familiar. He didn’t know where he was. He spun around to try and figure out which direction he had come from but it all looked the same, he had ran too far off the main path. He felt his pockets but they were empty, his phone was in his car and his car was with Cas, he didn’t even have his keys.

 

He screamed and screamed, why had this all gone so wrong?! He had thought they were happy! They had issues but they were happy and then Michael had ruined everything. He punched and kicked at the nearest tree until he collapsed into the mud and leaves, feeling dizzy and his vision blurring, tasting blood. He was cold and scared and didn’t know what to do. Dean sat and cried in the rain and prayed he hadn’t screwed it up enough that Cas would leave him there.


	34. Chapter Fourteen - Part One

Dean’s head was steadily throbbing and it was making him feel sick, he pulled his knees up further to his chest and tried to curl up into a ball. The tree was uncomfortable against his back and the bark dug into him but if he sat back against it then the rain didn’t hit his face as much. His hands and feet were so cold that they felt like ice and they ached, stiff every time he tried to move. He flexed them a few times but gave up, it was too sore.

He sniffled feeling pathetic and beaten. He wasn’t sure of he should move or not, he didn’t know if it would make it better or worse. He was so conflicted. Normally he was good in a bad situation, he was a quick thinker and never had to rely on other people. But here he was relying on Cas to man up and come and find him if he managed to snap out of what ever had come over him. A horrible feeling lashed around his stomach violently, he was worried, Cas had only been to the lakes the times that he had taken him, and even though he had left the car with Cas the poor guy didn’t even know where he was. He was probably just as scared as he was. He remembered the first time he had bought him here and he had to run across town in the morning, he had gotten lost and Dean was sure he only managed to find his way because he must have stayed on the main road. He wasn’t even sure where the road was from here. He was still annoyed with Cas but right now he needed him more than ever.

And he was such an idiot, he had only just texted Bobby, he was sure he would be completely oblivious to him being in any kind of danger, he wouldn’t be concerned about him coming home especially since he was such a dick the other night and stayed out without telling him. He would just assume he was freaking banging Cas. He had made such a bad habit of disappearing and now it was backfiring on him. He felt like such a fuck up. He tried not to panic, why hadn’t he thought to at least grab his fucking phone?!

Fuck. 

He didn’t even recognize himself anymore. Instead of focusing on getting back to the road he was still thinking about Cas. What the hell?! But he had never been the kind of person to yell at someone like that. The way he had spoken to Cas was horrible and he couldn’t keep the frown off his face thinking about all the nasty things he had said. He had wanted to hurt him. He had always thought he could never hurt Cas, physically or emotionally. He had tried to stand up for himself but had turned into a such a selfish bastard, thinking of only how he felt even after seeing Cas in such a state. He should have handled it better. Held him and been there for him. Instead he was shaking with rage all because he hadn’t liked being pinned down and he had been itching to punch Cas, he had thought about physically harming him over a kiss. He was so fucked up and completely disappointed in himself. He hated feeling this way.

He pushed the straggly wet locks of his hair out of his face slowly as he thought. He needed to get a grip. He tried to breath and think about what he should do. This could end really badly. He couldn’t even see that well, it was starting to get really dark now, the rain clouds were blocking the moonlight. Why was everything so shit? He shifted uncomfortably and tried to stand up. He wasn’t going to wait around for Cas to come and save him! He didn’t even know where he was!

His feet slid on the mud and he fell back on to his ass. He was too dizzy and he would probably make things worse if he moved, he always ruined everything and this would be the same. He would probably fall and break his neck. His stomach twisted in shame at how pathetic he was being but he really couldn’t help it. He was screwed. 

How did things always go so wrong? He had finally sorted his head out, came to a point where he was confident enough to tell Cas how he really felt and now what? Look where that had got him! He had wanted to tell him that he loved him, he had only just wrapped his head around it but he had wanted to share it. He had thought about Cas’ confession, the broken ‘I love you’ he had gasped out after he had touched him so intimately. He had knew deep down that he had felt that way all along about the other man, that this was so much more than hormones but it was terrifying. And he had been scared for a good reason, Cas had done exactly what he had feared. He hadn’t given him an answer when he got as close as he ever would to asking them to be something official . He hadn’t even let him tell him he loved him too, he hadn’t even let him finish his sentence. Every time he tried to make an effort to explain how he felt Cas brushed it aside. And now he knew why, he didn’t want to be gay. Being gay was apparently going to give him a one way ticket to hell and he blamed Dean. He wasn’t to blame for this. He hadn’t been happy with the revelation himself and he couldn’t help that he was wired that way. It was complete bullshit.

He sobbed, this was all such mess and now he was lost and alone and Cas probably hated him. He should have stayed to try and sort things out instead of running away like a coward. He cried harder, what the hell was wrong with him? He hated how much this hurt, how his heart ached. Why was he was thinking about Castiel even after what he had done? He hated everything. Love was complicated and had turned him into sniveling idiot. Had all of it been worth it? After everything that had happened, he had changed so much for the better! Was he really going to stay here and admit defeat; let himself die from blood loss or hypothermia? He was pathetic, wallowing in self pity, sat waiting for Cas to come and save him when he should be forcing himself to stand and finding his way back to the car, telling Cas where to shove it and getting himself down the hospital and taking control of his life again. But he couldn’t, it wasn’t that simple, he had hit his head pretty hard and it was getting hard to even stay awake. 

He had never cried so much in his life, not even when Cassie had broke his heart. Or at least he had thought that was what had happened. Now he knew what they had was a joke. He had thought having sex with her would be the next logical step in their relationship, that it would magically make her like him more, he had thought she was going to break up with him for a while. It didn’t make it better. She broke up with him soon after and even though he never admitted it since he had met Castiel he had wished a few times that he had waited. One of the things he loved about Cas was sharing those first times, like the first time they kissed. He sighed. When this was all over he was going to give Cas such a big hug and tell him that he loved him properly this time. He was so important to him, it didn’t matter that he had hurt him, all that mattered was that this was a stepping stone. Cas had started to open up to him so this was a good thing, right? He hopelessly wiped his eyes, who was he kidding?!

He didn’t know how long he sat there, he watched the rain fall around him but he felt too numb to move. He didn’t know what was worse, the way he felt inside or the fact there was black dots floating in front of his face and he thought he was going to puke. He tried to think of things that would encourage him to move, to stand the hell up and find his way back to the road but he was too angry. He let his emotions get the better of him and it wasn’t long before he head became heavy and started to slump down towards his chest.

Stay awake, he kept thinking to himself because he slowly slipped into a dream like state. Not sure if he was awake and hallucinating or that he was dreaming, he could almost swear he could hear someone calling his name but that was impossible.

“Dean!” He jumped and his eyes snapped open. There was no way that he was imagining that!

“Cas! Castiel!” He screamed as loud as he could, his lungs burning from it. He used the tree to support himself as he tried to stand up but it was too cold and he was so tired and weak. That was what he needed, the confirmation that Cas hadn’t given up on him and had come to help him.

“Dean!” The shout was desperate and he stumbled forwards to follow the sound but he wasn’t sure if he was going the right way, everything was really disorientating. The world shifted and spun around him and he blinked furiously as he tried to straighten his sight, his arms hovered on each side of him trying to balance. “Dean!” The voice sounded near and happiness and relief flooded him, he sounded so close. His knee gave way as he slipped on the mud and he prepared himself for impact on the floor but it never came. Strong arms had grabbed him and were hauling him up, holding him by his waist from behind. He tried to turn but he was feeling really dizzy, Cas gripped him roughly and helped him to turn to face him, he could feel Cas’ arm shaking from the pressure of holding him up and he tried to get a better stance on the floor but his feet slipped, he wasn’t sure why that was happening. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Cas’ hand was smoothing his hair out of his face, gentle compared to his rough grip on his waist and he was being kissed all over his face. Cas’ squeezed him and sobbed. “Are you okay, can you walk? What’s happened to your leg?” He looked down and Dean stared at him confused and shook his head no.

“Nothing, I- You came, I thought you were going to leave me. You hated me, you hated me so much and it hurts, Cas.”

“I’ve got you,” He tightened his grip and kissed him desperately. “I’ll never leave you! I’m so sorry, I’ll make it better, I’ll be so much better.” Dean nodded and held onto him, his arms circled around Cas’ neck.

“How did you know? How did you know I was in trouble?” Cas pulled away, devastation displayed on his features. He gingerly turned Dean’s head and looked at the crown of his head.

“You’re bleeding, I went to get back into the car to follow you and noticed the floor was red where you fell out. I’m going to take you to the hospital. I’m not sure how bad is it because of the rain.” He explained. “Do you think you can walk?” Cas tried to redistribute Dean’s weight as he heavily supported him but they both ended up stumbling forwards. Cas growled in annoyance and Dean tried his best to stand properly, he was just really dizzy and he felt like he wasn’t in control of his body. 

“’m okay. This doesn’t mean I forgive you, you’re a dick.”

“I know, I haven’t been fair with you, I promise I’ll talk to you, we can be happy.” He was jolted upwards and he suddenly felt weightless, strong arms carrying him. He could feel Cas holding him safely, one arm under his ass and the other wrapped around his back.

"I always thought that you were freakishly strong." He mumbled. He watched from Cas’ shoulders as they made a slow ascent out of the trees. 

"I don't know why, I don't do anything."

"We should, we should..." He wasn't really sure what he was trying to say.

"Dean you need to stay awake in case you have a concussion. Talk to me."

"No, I'm fine, I just need... something." He was drowsy and tried to keep his eyes open, he hadn't realised they had closed until he was pressed against something solid, Cas' knee between his thighs holding him up, stopping him from falling forwards. He opened them in surprise, it was his car. 

"Dean!" Cas was clicking his fingers in front of his face and he tried to focus, to listen to what he was saying.

He was gently guided into the passenger seat and the relief was immense, back in the comfortable familiarity if his baby. Cas lent over him and put in his seat belt, he watched him, unable to do anything else. He felt drunk. 

He focused on himself as the car door slammed and made him jump; he was filthy, his clothes torn and muddy, his skin blue from the cold. His head felt heavy and he let it flop to the side to look at the driver’s seat, Cas was there and adjusting the chair. He was still crying, snuffling every so often and his hands trembling. 

"Why are you crying?" He asked, his voice sounded slurred and he tutted at himself.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." Was all he said, then he was leaning over towards him and searching in the glove box. "I need you to drink this for me, I think you're in shock." He pressed something insistently into his hand, it was a soda, he had left it in there a few days ago. His hand slipped, he couldn't grip it. Cas opened it and pressed it against his lips, it was hard to swallow. 

The heat was blasting and he could feel himself start to become aware, things were making sense again. Cas had carried him all the way to the car, how had he done that? He wasn't exactly light! He knew he needed to try harder, Cas couldn't drive and look after him. He gripped the can with both hands and concentrated on drinking. He looked at Cas again, he was staring at him. He wasn't in a fit state for driving but he was in a better state than him. 

"Drive carefully fucker, I can forgive you for breaking my heart but if you damage my baby I will break your face."

"Okay, Dean." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"It's cold." He was cold but the heat was too much, I felt like it was burning, making his skin tingled painfully as feeling ran back into his fingers and toes. "Where are we going again?" He looked out the window but it was dark and everything was really blurry.

"To the hospital. I think you have a concussion." 

"No, no, I'm fine." He argued, he was feeling much better, he just needed to warm up and get some sleep, he wanted to go home.

"No I hurt you, I need to make sure you're okay, taking you to the hospital is the right thing to do."

"You can't fix me. It's not my head that broken. " He wasn’t really bothered that he had banged his head, that wasn’t really Cas’ fault, it was his fault, he decided to open a car door he was leaning against, what did he think was going to happen? What mattered was what they had both said. And when he had spoken he wasn’t even directing the comment as an insult to Castiel but to the both of them. They had both behaved despicably. 

"I know but it's a start."

"I can't trust you anymore, I deserve better you know." He knew he was being hard on Cas but what did it matter. He did deserve better and n a way Cas deserved someone better than him. Dean Winchester, the guy who claimed to love him but had thought about punching him because he had been offended. He made himself sick to the core, right down to the fact that he was even speaking this way to Cas when the guy was crying right next to him.

"I know you do, and I'll be better, I promise."

"You're the loveliest thing I know but you’re a liar.” Cas whimpered to the side of him, fresh tears falling down his face. God he was such a dick, why was there no filter on his mouth?! He bit his lip to punish himself, stop himself from saying anything else he would regret. Shut up, Dean, shut up before you ruin everything.

“I’ve been cold towards you, I wanted what we shared to be real but I was scared. It scared me how much I cared about you, waking up next to you and wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of my life doing it, it’s crazy.” He stopped biting his lip. There was Cas, the honest and sweet guy he had met in gym glass. The one that had told him he had never kissed anyone and it had made him feel so fucking special. Right now he felt special again, the warm feeling uncurling in his stomach and the ache disappeared from his chest.

“It’s not crazy, I always felt the same, I just didn’t know what to say and now all the progress we made has been lost.” That much was true, they wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow and all of this will be better. Things never work that way. “Now I’m upset and you’re crying and we’re heading to the ER, fuck, we have school tomorrow. This can’t get worse Cas. Everything is ruined!” Now his mind was up and ticking again it was working over time, worrying about all the things that had happened and that had yet to come.

“It’s not, we can work through it, please don’t leave me Dean I can’t cope without you!” Cas’ eyes strayed from the road to look at him uncertainly.

“Road, Cas, fuck don’t make my night worse and drive us into a tree.” Cas’ hands were holding the wheel so tight that his knuckles were white. “If you don’t hate me why did you say it? Why blame me for everything? Because you do blame me don’t you? For everything, I ‘corrupted’ you.” He needed to know, he couldn’t fix anything and move past this if he didn’t, he couldn’t spend their whole relationship worrying and wondering how Cas really felt.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Dean. I was angry and deep down I know Michael is wrong, he must be.”

“God doesn’t exist Cas and if he does then he’s an asshole.” It was a low shot but he didn’t care.

“Dean, please don’t say that.” He shook his head sadly.

“After tonight I can say what the fuck I want, I earned it! And it’s all bullshit, your God doesn’t exist. Why would he set you up to fall? Love is love, so why is how you feel about me sin? It’s a load of crap and I don’t think you should listen to it.” It was true! It was one of the things that bothered him the most. 

Dean was done with the days where he was going to sugarcoat everything for Cas! Why the fuck should he? It had gotten them no-where! From now on he would tell him everything whether he liked it or not. He wasn’t going to sit and stew his problems anymore. If he was upset he would tell Cas and when he had a problem he would ask Cas’ advice. And never again would he be pressured into anything, like the public sex, yes he enjoyed it but he had expressed several times that he didn’t want to anymore. Yes it both their faults but Cas shouldn’t push for it knowing that Dean was getting uncomfortable about it. If they were going to be touching each other then it would in the safety of Dean’s room… and maybe the car, that wasn’t too bad. The point was that they would be having a really serious conversation and soon.

“That’s your opinion, please don’t blaspheme Dean.” He huffed in annoyance. They went silent again and Cas didn’t answer Dean obviously taking his question as rhetorical, he worried his lip between his teeth in thought. He looked like he was going to say something a few times but he didn’t speak. Dean concentrated on breathing and focused on a fixed point in the car so his head would stop spinning, looking out the window made him feel worse.

“I feel like a bad person.” 

“Why!?” He demanded, he had just been calming down and then he had said that. It didn’t even make sense. “ Why are you a bad person? Please enlighten me, yes you’ve been a dick today but I get it okay, I understand. This doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“But Micheal said-“

“Fuck off, and fuck Micheal, fuck your whole family while we’re on the subject. You know what, believe what you want, just don’t drag me into it again motherfucker, I have feelings. I’m so mad with you, make me feel like this again and I’ll end you. I’ll end this and I’ll leave and never look back. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going, one minute I want to hug you and the next I want to kill you, I’ve never been so confused in my life!” Maybe it was something to do with hi pounding headache, he sure hoped so.

“Don’t say that, we can fix it. I’ve said I’m sorry how many times do I have to say it?!” He didnt know, he wasn’t sure if sorry could fix this. The realization that he was physically injured was starting to weigh heavy on him. Going to the emergency room meant doctors and medicine and things that he couldn’t afford. He knew he was covered on his dad’s insurance but then he would know what had happened, he would see it and he didn’t want to explain. He couldn’t! His dad didn’t even know that Cas existed yet. This meant that Bobby would have to pay and he had been so good to Dean! Christmas was coming soon, poor Bobby couldn’t afford to pay hundreds of dollars because him and Cas got in a fight. That was hardly fair. He would have to pay him back out of his wages which meant he would have no money to buy anyone any gifts. This was a nightmare. It was one bad thing after another!

“Not enough Cas! I’m going to the fucking ER! You think my family can afford that?! Bobby is going to fucking kill me! Just take me fucking home and don’t let Bobby see you ‘cause he’s got a shotgun and he’ll kill you for this.” Cas audibly gulped. Okay, he shouldn’t have said that but it just annoyed him so much. This was not how he thought today would go at all.

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t care, I just want to do the right thing and I’m taking you to the hospital. I’ll pay for it. I’ll sort it. Just calm down, if you want to hate me then hate me tomorrow.” Dean sighed and reached over to put his hand on Cas’ thigh. The younger man stiffened and glanced down suspiciously.

“You don’t get it do you? I can never hate you, even after this. We’ll look back on this and laugh, I promise, but right now I’m angry, do you understand? I’m allowed to be angry.”

“Okay.” He breathed deeply. “So we will be okay?” Dean squeezed his leg and then finished the rest of his drink. There was no point being angry anymore and Cas looked so defeated, he wasn’t even putting up a fight. He was right, he needed to calm down. Cas wasn’t his enemy. He was the love of his life and he had made a mistake.

“I guess so, but only ‘cause you’re my favourite.” Cas sobbed again.

“Why are you crying now?!” He exclaimed. He was trying to be nice then!

“Because I’m happy.” He laughed and tried his best to flash him a smile, it was a little crooked and his eyes were bloodshot and sad but it was a start and Dean felt like he had gotten through to him at least. He couldn’t not forgive Cas, he understood why he had done what he did, he just didn’t agree with it. It seemed like he had found someone just s fucked up as he was and it was okay, they could get through this together. They had come too far to give up now. He hoped things would be different.


	35. Chapter Fourteen - Part Two

Cas parked as close as he could to the entrance of the Emergency Room, he paid for a parking ticket while Dean waited in the car. Dean knew he was being tough on him but he couldn’t help it, now he had gotten over the initial realization that he wasn’t going to die in the woods, the words Cas had said to him were swirling around his head. He knew they were both sorry but it didn’t stop him being upset. He took a deep breath to calm himself and then stepped out the car, much more stable on his feet. He wiggled his toes, it must have been because he was so cold that he had had trouble walking before.

 

As they walked in together, his head was already starting to feel clearer than before. He didn’t remember a lot about them walking out of the trees and to the car, but he remembered everything that was said once they were inside. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He tried to push aside the strong images he had in his mind; of Cas’ hate filled glare, how he looked when he had spat such horrible words at him, but it was difficult. Looking at his best friend now it seemed strange to think he was capable of such awful things, though he knew he was no better.

 

Inside the building was a typical ER set up, crying children and a few old drunks, Dean sighed and hoped they wouldn’t be there for too long. Cas did most of the talking for him and he was told he would be seen shortly, his problem wasn’t life threatening so he had to wait. He was given something to press against his head to stop the bleeding.

 

Cas got busy filling out a form for him, his occasional questions were the only time they spoke and Dean shakily signed at the bottom. Afterwards they sat in silence for longer than was comfortable and Dean stared at Castiel the whole time. He looked genuinely upset about what had happened, he hoped they could just forget about it and move on. He didn’t dare talk to him now because every time he opened his mouth hate filled words spilled out, he didn’t want to cause a scene at the hospital and he didn’t want to keep fighting with him. It was uncomfortable waiting, not only because they both were like drowned rats (and they had got more than one dirty look from the cleaners), but because the tension between them was thick. They were sat there for half an hour before his name was called and they were moved into a corridor. A young woman dressed in a set of scrubs called him forwards and took the paperwork off Cas.

 

“Dean Winchester?” She peered at the forms. Dean patted Cas’ leg reassuringly and gave him a quick smile.

 

“I won’t be long.” He said, in actual fact he had no idea how long these things took, he hoped it wouldn’t be too long. He went to grab his phone but remembered it was still in the car somewhere. Cas must have realized because he pulled his own phone out.

 

“Should I call Bobby?” He asked, he had put his number in at Dean’s insistence. Dean thought about it for second and then decided against it. It would just cause unnecessary stress for his guardian.

 

“No, best not, I’ll save that for later, I think.” Cas nodded and sat back in the chair, looking like he felt useless. Dean followed the lady into the room and sat on the bed.

 

“You’re dripping water everywhere, bet you’re not popular with our cleaning ladies.” She smiled and pulled on a pair of gloves. Dean forced a small smile. “My name’s Tess, it says here you have a minor head injury, I’m just going to check you over, okay?” She flashed a light into his eyes and he squinted but tried to keep them open. “Follow my pen.” She moved it quickly in front of his face. “Your responses are a little delayed. Do you feel sick or dizzy or anything that is a foreign feeling for you?” She checked his pulse and did a few things that he didn’t understand but he just went along with it.

 

“I felt sick earlier but I’m okay now and I think I was confused, I don’t remember bits but it seems to have cleared.” She nodded and wrote something down.

 

“You have a concussion, did you fall asleep after your injury?” He shrugged, he couldn’t really remember.

 

“I don’t know.” She nodded.

 

“I just need to have a look at your head, is that okay?” She stood behind him and poked gently at his head. “The damage is mostly superficial, I’ll need to clean it and I’ll have to dry your hair before I can do anything; but I think a couple of stitches will do the trick, it should knit itself back together neatly.”

 

“That’s good, right?”

 

“Of course.” Dean sat still as she busied herself behind him. “Why don’t you tell me how you obtained this injury Dean? And why you look like you took a dip in a swamp.”

 

“I erm, fell out of my car.” He wasn’t going to mention Cas in any of this, he knew hospitals shoved their noses in where they wasn’t wanted. It was an accident.

 

“How did you manage that?” Dean shrugged.

 

“It was wet, I was at The Lakes.  Just lost my balance, that’s all.”

 

“Have you been drinking, Dean?” She peered around to stare at him suspiciously.

 

“No.” He said honestly. She pressed some gauze against his head.

 

“Hold that for me please, I’m going to get you some dry clothes and find the hair dryer. Stay here okay?” He nodded and bought his hand up to his head. She winked at him before he disappeared out the room. Dean stared around the office, this really wasn’t how he had wanted to spend his Monday night. She returned a few minutes later and as explained she cleaned his head with something that was cold and washed his hair in something that smelt weird. He didn’t like one minute of it. “Normally the nurses do this stuff but they’re at change-over at the moment and I miss talking to patients instead of throwing scripts at you, you know?” She chatted away, she was friendly and had a kind smile, but all Dean could think about was Cas sat in the corridor, worried about him. After everything was done she sat at her desk and typed a few things and printed something for him. She handed him a set of inpatients clothes including a pair of slippers.

 

“Why don’t you get out them clothes? You can use this room, just pull the curtain around.” She carried on typing and he nodded and did as she said. “I don’t have towels but you can use the blue tissues in the dispenser, just put them in the yellow bin okay?” Dean was lucky to have such a nice Doctor. He didn’t have a lot of experience with hospitals but he was sure they wasn’t usually this nice. “Is the wet guy outside your friend? Do you want to ask him if he wants some dry clothes? I’ve got another set here.”

 

“Ah thanks, would you mind?”

 

“It’s no problem, you can get him, I’ve just about finished.” He finished changing and then popped his head out of the door to Cas and gestured for him to come inside. Cas stood and followed him in.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked as soon as the door was shut.

 

“I’ll live. Tess here has given you some clothes to change into.” He handed them to Cas.

 

“Thanks.” Tess smiled at him.

 

“It’s no problem. Did you drive you Dean here?” He nodded at her. “Good, make sure he gets home safe. Do you have someone to keep an eye on you tonight Dean?” Dean looked unsurely towards Cas who nodded and looked hopeful, Dean reached over and grabbed his hand.

 

* * *

 

Cas pulled up into Bobby’s driveway. “Here, I’ll help you inside.” Dean nodded and opened the door. His head still hurt but the painkillers he had taken while he was at the hospital were starting to kick in.

 

“Thanks for sorting the bill, you didn’t have to do that.” He was sure it had been steep, he had painkillers and some antibiotics to prevent infection in his head and that wasn’t even thinking about seeing the Doctor. She had told him he wasn’t to go to school for the next two days, he wasn’t allowed to do anything too straining such as school work or playing computer games. He was to strictly relax for the next forty-eight hours. He had thankfully been given a sick note to hand in at school but that must have cost as well.

 

“Yes, I did.” Dean didn’t argue with him. He wanted things to be good from now on and he was too tired to argue.

 

“Come on, you can carry me upstairs.” He had been joking but Cas nodded, even though he must have known Dean would be fine walking up the stairs. Cas locked the Impala and circled an arm around him as they quietly opened the front door. The house was silent inside and all the lights were off, everyone was in bed and it made him wonder what time it was. He had no idea.

 

“About Bobby, let’s not tell him, I don’t want to get you in trouble. Even though you annoyed me and I ended up hurt it wasn’t your fault, and really, I’m kind of fond of you. I wasn’t joking about the shotgun.” He whispered as he dropped the bag of their wet clothes on the floor. His bad humor was lost on Castiel, who looked tired and was concentrating on locking the door in the dark. They didn’t turn the light on because they didn’t want to wake anyone.

 

“We’ll talk about it later, Dean. If I’m honest, right now all I want is to get a nice hot shower and then climb into bed.” That sounded like heaven right now, sinking into his fluffy pillows with his nice heavy duvet and Cas at his side to curl around. He really did need a shower though, both him and Castiel stunk of damp and his skin felt weird from being in the rain for so long. He still had a deep chill that felt like it was running through his bones, there was nothing like a hot shower to fix that. The only problem was how dizzy he was feeling, he didn’t trust himself not to slip. He didn’t want to end up in the ER again.

 

“I can’t  get my hair wet and I’m dizzy.” Dean complained. He guessed he could have a quick wash but he still felt a little weak on his feet, he really couldn’t get in the bath at this time of night, running the water for that long would wake Bobby up. He hated it when the simple things were made difficult.

 

“I’ll help you.” Cas volunteered and Dean nodded. He knew that thought shouldn’t bother him but it did, it was different having someone help you wash when it was out of necessity rather than for fun. He shouldn’t be embarrassed but he was. He hated feeling so useless. They made their way upstairs, hands firmly on the banister as not to trip in the dark and into the bathroom, where they finally turned the light on. Cas put the toilet seat down and sat Dean down. He disappeared out of the room and Dean watched him go, figuring the he was getting towels. He returned a few moments later carrying a few that he knew had  been on the chair in his room.

 

“I didn’t want to search through your things so I just got the towels.” He explained, placing them on the radiator.

 

“I think we are at the point where you can search through my closet.” Dean smiled up at him, trying to make the atmosphere lighter. He wasn’t used to feeling so odd around Cas, he felt self-conscious, he wasn’t sure how to act. He had always been fairly relaxed but right now he felt tense.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” The atmosphere was low in the room, both boys fumbled to get undressed out of the awful hospital clothes. It had been nice of that Doctor to give them to them, but still, they were uncomfortable as hell and looked terrible. Once Dean was undressed he started to fiddle with the shower, there was a knack getting it to the right temperature and Castiel had never showered at his house before so he didn’t know that. Dean got the temperature comfortable and then turned back to Cas, gesturing that he could go inside. He was standing and holding his hands over his crotch and climbed inside awkwardly, his eyes staring straight in front of him. Dean averted his eyes away from anything lower than Cas’ shoulders as he stepped in to the side of him. Any other time he would b checking him out but it felt far from appropriate now. He steadied himself by holding the other man’s arm for a few seconds.

 

Cas was shy as he stared at the floor, more interested in his toes than anything else. It broke him a little to see him like that, he had never been this way around him. Cas had always been confident and sexy, he was bashful in an endearing way, but never so self conscious that he couldn’t even look at him. They had really screwed things up. Even as Cas lifted his arms and put his head under the spray, gently pushing his hair out of the way, Dean didn’t know where to look and neither did the other man. Eventually they exchanged a look and Cas leant forwards, he cupped Dean’s face in his hands and pressed a long lingering kiss to his cheek. When he pulled away he stared at the specks of water that had collected along Cas’ eyelashes, straight into his blue eyes  until they both caved in and shared a hug. It felt good to have the long length of Cas’ body pressed hot and wet against him, holding him so securely. They both pulled away with red cheeks and smiled. The initial awkwardness was over and they fell into comfortable habit. Cas in his usual manner was very respectful and let Dean do the things he could, he washed his back for him and steadied him when he balance faltered. He never mentioned about Dean’s poor co-ordination and he was thankful.

 

Cas helped him climb out and they dried off quickly and tidied the bathroom before going to Dean’s room. They dropped their towels once inside, the door safely locked and the lamp on. Dean threw him a pair of boxers from his top drawer and they both pulled a pair on.

 

“Do you want a t-shirt?” he whispered, mindful that Sam was sleeping in the next room and that it was a school night.

 

“It’s too warm for me,” the heat was on, Bobby must have turned it on before he went to bed. “I think you should wear one though, I don’t want you getting a cold after everything we’ve been through this evening.” He was right of course, he pulled on an old band t-shirt. Cas fiddled around with phone chargers and an alarm before he flicked the light off. They climbed into bed and automatically turned to face each other though this time they didn’t meet in the middle like they usually did, a large gap remained between the two of them. It felt so good to lie down, Dean sighed at the simple pleasure and stretched out. They looked each other over, the duvet pulled high up to their chins until Dean broke the silence.

 

“I think we should talk about what happened.” He said, he didn’t really want to talk about it right now but he knew he should while his confidence was high and the issue was fresh. Yeah, he had a concussion but he really needed to know they were going to be okay.

 

“I know I screwed up-“ Cas defended and buried his face into the quilt.

 

“It’s fine.” He sighed. “I think we both said a lot of things that we didn’t mean.” It was true. Whether it was due to his anger or his concussion, he didn’t know, but either way Dean had said a lot of things he never would have under normal circumstances. Even though he regretted speaking so frankly, it was for the best. It was good to have things out in the open.

 

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly and looked up again. “If you give me the chance, I promise I can change...” He spoke slowly and stared at Dean with big, sad eyes.

 

“You don’t have to change Cas. Just talk to me, tell me what’s going on. I know this can’t be as simple as Michael yelling a few slurs at you. You’re a strong person, independent and you know your own mind.” It was frustrating how Michael could reduce Castiel to this violent and angry person when he was anything but, Michael just had a horrible effect on him. If only he could understand, he could try and make it better.

 

“They know about us, Michael and Luke,” he paused after he spoke, gauging Dean’s reaction. He was annoyed, the last people he wanted to know about them was those two douche bags. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists as he tried to reel in his anger, exploding at Cas would get him nowhere.

 

“How long?” He asked, he wondered why they hadn’t said anything to him, threatened or confronted him. They seemed like that type of sibling. He didn’t have the best opinion of Cas’ older brothers because of how poorly Gabriel and Cas spoke of them. And from what he had seen that night at the party, his own opinion had been firmly cemented. They must have something planned, something to humiliate poor Cas or completely fuck him over.

 

“After that night in the bar, I don’t know how.” Cas answered, visibly cringing as he spoke.

 

“That doesn’t make sense! How do they know?” He tried to keep his voice down and spoke in a hushed tone to Cas. He lay back down but moved closer to him as to not be intimidating. He didn’t want him to panic and stop talking. He fumbled around to grab his hand. He didn’t like being so far away from him.

 

“I have no idea, at that point we barely knew each other.” He furiously whispered back, their close proximity making his words clearer. He reached up and brushed his damp hair out of his face and stroked through it a few times, effectively calming the both of them down. “They trashed your car in hopes that I would back off but I didn’t want to, they warned me but I refused. They were angry that you still wanted me after that, they thought if they damaged your car then you would be pissed off enough to fall out with me.” He paused. “I expected you to as well, but you didn’t.” Cas looked scared as he admitted the things that he had kept to himself since they had met, afraid of how Dean would take the news if he told him everything. He voice shook slightly and Dean tried his best to be understanding.

 

This was what he wanted, Cas was finally opening up to him and it felt like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He had wanted to know these things from the start. He was happy that Cas was finally being honest but he was also worried about the things he was saying. Of course he had known it was those fucktards that had keyed his car but he had never had confirmation. Castiel had known all along, kept it to himself, too scared to tell him. They hadn’t even spoke about it after it had happened. But now he understood why, Cas had been trying to forget it, he had thought he would leave him! He really did have abandonment issues. He never wanted him to be afraid of talking to him about anything, to be insecure. What the hell kind of relationship would that be?! Bobby was right, just talking about it would help so much. This was something they could work on together from now on.

 

“I wouldn’t leave you, baby.” Cas smiled at the familiar pet name. He wasn’t even sure when it had become such a habit to call him that. He couldn’t help it.

 

“I know that now.” He replied.

 

“The thing I don’t understand is, why do they care?” Why did it matter who Cas fooled around with. Okay, he understood they thought he was going to burn in hell forever (yada, yada, yada…) but he had always got the impression that Michael and Luke didn’t like anyone in their family besides Anna. Hmmm, maybe Cas punching one of them in the face hadn’t helped.

 

“This is going to sound so stupid.” Cas grumbled.

 

“It doesn’t matter how it sounds, if it’s causing your brothers to be horrible to you to that extreme then it’s obviously important.” Cas nodded and took a deep breath before he started talking. He avoided looking at Dean, instead he stroked his other hand up and down Dean’s bicep and watched the hypnotizing movement.

  
“It’s about my dad; well, about the family business. If I run around doing what I want and disobeying my father, the responsibility of it will fall onto one of the twins. They’ll have to stay in Lawrence and live out our father’s wishes and dreams. I agreed I would take over the church, I’m the most invested and believe completely in my religion, it is my lifestyle and the foundation to my being.” He smiled sadly and then looked at him. “Or at least it was until I met you.” Cas’ hand stilled. Dean swallowed thickly as guilt flared through him. He didn’t want to be the reason why Cas changed his faith. That type of thing was important to his friend and even though he really couldn’t care less about it, it didn’t mean he should push his opinion on him. He couldn’t believe what he had said earlier, about God not existing, he was such a jackass, what a horrible thing to say to someone like Castiel. He felt like punching himself, he had been completely insensitive.

 

“Luke doesn’t want to work for dad, he doesn’t want to live in a small town like this, he doesn’t even want to finish his college course.” Cas continued on, oblivious to Dean’s inner turmoil. “ Michael is shoved so far up his ass that I’m sure he doesn’t realize they are two separate people, and just because Lucian doesn’t want to do it doesn’t mean that he can’t. It’s an impossibly infuriating situation to be in.” Dean bit his lip in thought, he was hoping it would be something that was an easy fix, that he could give Cas some advice about and then they could be on their way to being happy again. This was bigger than him, this was family dynamic. And like he had explained, Cas’ religion was a big part of his life, he had never before considered that Cas being gay would make him question himself so much. He thought that was all Michael talking but obviously Cas had been conflicted about it and too ashamed to ask for help. Like he had said, Cas had been a completely different person before they met. The Cas he knew wouldn’t agree to staying to take over the church, so that was why it was such a shock to be told that he had.

 

“I don’t really understand any of this. So it’s to do with your career basically, and who has to stay and make your dad happy. But you all want to leave?” It was a lot to wrap his head around, no wonder poor Cas had been so upset. He was sure it wasn’t as easy as Cas telling his dad how it really felt, about all the plans that he had, something as simple as the college course he wanted to take. It had always been obvious that his parents were beyond strict. But surely they should all be treated the same?

 

“We don’t want to leave per say, just do something different than what they have planned for us. Dad doesn’t care who takes over the church as long as one of us does. The twins are panicking because I’m having a big gay crisis and I could get disowned if I don’t stop. Then they will have to stay, or at least one of them. If I get kicked out they get their lives written and they’re not happy about it.”

 

“Okay, I get that, I wouldn’t want that to happen to me either but does Michael have to be so horrible to you? Aren’t you doing them a favor? If anything I think they should be turning a blind eye for you.” He knew they didn’t work that way but Dean was still trying to think of a way to make it better but he was mostly coming up blank. “And why do they get away with not taking over the church? They’re the oldest That isn’t fair.” Cas sighed and started to look frustrated again and Dean cursed his big mouth, but he only rolled further towards him to seek comfort instead of withdrawing like he usually would. Dean placed his hand on his waist and stroked up and down the soft skin.

 

“They told our father last year that they wanted to do something else, they made up some bullshit excuse about charity work or whatever and so it was agreed that I would do it instead. Our parents believed them and said as long as they finished college they didn’t mind. It is unfair but at the same time I wouldn’t want the responsibility to fall back onto Gabriel, he has no interest in religion, he just wants to make our parents happy.” He felt bad, this was all to do with him, and all of it wouldn’t have happened if they had never met. Even so, he still couldn’t bring himself to regret it. He didn’t know if that was selfish of him. But Cas seemed so much happier when he was with him and away from the burden of his future and his controlling family. If they had never met then would Cas have been happy? This was all too much to try and think about, it was making his headache worse. He shifted uncomfortably to lay his head in a better position on the pillow. He breathed deep to try and clear he black spots in front of his eyes. They stopped talking for a few minutes as Cas tried to make him comfortable, they ended up changing how they were laying. Dean wrapped himself around Cas instead, his head on the other man’s bare chest.

 

“I get it,” Dean continued, tracing a pattern across Cas’ hipbone. “But your dad can’t just force you to do something you don’t want to, especially when it’s something you’ll be doing your whole life.” It was one of the things that kept going through his head, the thought of one of them was being forced to do something they had no interest in. It was common enough he guessed, but he had never seen it in real life, it was always in some cheesy romantic comedy in American films.

 

“It’s just the way it is Dean. He wants the church to stay in the family like it has for years. It’s not an unreasonable request.” He guessed it wasn’t really. And in a way he could see why Cas had volunteered. He thought about how it would feel if Bobby told him that he wanted him to have his business. Of course he would say yes. “In a way I want to do it just to spite Lucian, when we were first adopted by the Milton’s he never shut up about how we weren’t really part of the family, that we would never be like real children to them. Taking over the church would make me feel like I really am loved, trusted and a valued member of the family. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way.” Dean could relate to that completely, since living with Bobby he had so much more self-worth, it was sad that Cas, the most important person to him, didn’t feel that way inside his own family too. What was also sad was that he would be giving up so much by taking over the church, he just wished someone else would do it so Cas didn’t have this huge responsibility looming over him.

 

“But Cas, you said you wanted to go places.” Ever since they had the conversation about Cas travelling, he had imagined him going all sorts of places. Fantasized about them visiting places together. He knew it was just a fantasy but a small part of him had hoped that it was more than that.

 

“I did, but Michael is going out of his way to confuse me. He knows I’ll get kicked out if I carry on the way I am, and he’s trying to stop me wanting to do this.” Dean kissed his chest gently and continued to pet him, he hoped it was comforting because Cas sounded so upset.

 

“You might not get disowned, that’s a bit drastic.” He was trying to be optimistic but something told him he was wasting his time. He yawned loudly and then blushed as Cas stared down at him. It had been a really long day.

 

“I will Dean, I’m not stupid. We are Catholic; the things I’ve done with you are unforgivable. My mom was so angry at the thought I was having a fling with a girl. She would die if she knew I was with you.” He sounded utterly defeated. What was he supposed to say to that? There was nothing he could say to make his friend feel better.

 

“I’m sorry.” Was what he decided on and he was, Cas was in a situation that he couldn’t control, he didn’t deserve that.

 

“Don’t be. It doesn’t matter, I deserve to be happy and make my own choices and I chose you. I think we could be happy. I regret what happened today and I know you probably blame Michael but it was me that lashed out-“He was getting upset again.

 

“Let’s not talk about that, it’s been done now, we’re both sorry and we can’t take it back. Tell me more about why you’ve been stressed baby, let me help you.” That was honestly all he wanted.

 

“There isn’t a lot you can do, just be there I think. If things go wrong I need to know I have someone I can rely on. I have money but not enough to live off for very long. If I get disowned then I won’t get my inherence and I won’t be able to go to college.” Dean held him tighter. Cas was starting to talk faster as his worries poured out of him. “I’ll never see Gabriel, they’ll stop me from seeing him. I’ve been so scared that everyone will find out and I’ll have nothing.” Dean had never felt so bad, he hadn’t thought about it that way before. Cas was in a really awkward situation, he wouldn’t know what to do under that much pressure. He was actually really lucky. John wasn’t the most understanding person but he was sure that he wouldn’t stop him from seeing Sam just because he was gay. Cas’ family was so old fashioned, he just couldn’t understand why they would consider doing something like that.

 

“I’d never even thought about Gabriel in all of this, I had never considered that you might not see him, that you might be disowned.” It was still really surreal hearing the complexity of Castiel’s life. He couldn’t believe he was listening about what would happen if he was disowned, actually kicked out of his family. He didn’t want to be responsible for that.  He could potentially ruin his best friend’s life. “This is huge and I don’t really want to but maybe we should just be friends if it means they’ll back off.”He would have been devastated at the idea earlier but now it was all different. He would be sad to just be friends but if it meant making Cas’ life easy again then he would do it. The past few weeks he had been borderline depressed.

 

“Dean,” He sighed again and kissed his forehead. “I hate to be pessimistic but they won’t be happy as long as you’re in the equation, they would never know the difference anyway. I could tell them we were just friends but it wouldn’t matter.” He knew he was right. There would be no way to convince them. It was fucking annoying that they knew.  “And to be honest I don’t think  could be just your friend, we’ve always been something more, within minutes of meeting we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves and within weeks I was madly in love with you.” Dean’s tummy did an unexpected flip-flop and he felt his cheeks heat up. “I can’t just pretend that I don’t feel this way. You are one of the only good things in my life right now, I can’t go back to how I was before, just existing. You’ve shown me so much.” Dean was speechless again. They laid in silence, both lost in separate thoughts for while.

 

It was comfortable and he already felt so much better. He was concerned but it was for different reasons. He felt like they were a team, that they could get through this together. He wanted to hold Cas’ hand every step of the way. No matter what decision he made he would stand by him and respect that. And as much as it pained him to even think it, let alone say it, Dean knew he had to.

 

“ I can’t be responsible for you being disowned, what if this is just a phase and amounts to nothing? We’ll end up hating each other.” He listened to Cas steady heartbeat while he waited for a reply, hoping it would keep him grounded.

 

“It won’t and this is my choice, it’s the one thing that I’m sure about. I want you, all of you and I need this, I can’t let you go.” He nodded and yawned again. He really wanted to talk more but he was really sleepy. The rise and fall of Cas’ chest was really relaxing.

 

“Then please be careful, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. But I’m sure if you got kicked out Bobby would let you stay here until you could get on your feet.” Bobby really loved Castiel. He hoped h would be understanding when he explained what happened in the morning. At the time it seemed really bad, but laying here in his arms he felt peaceful, as if things were simple and everything was fine. Maybe it would be? He really didn’t want to think about this anymore.

 

“Your uncle has a heart of gold.” It was nice that he recognized what a good person Bobby was. It meant a lot that they got on well, though he couldn’t believe that anyone couldn’t get on with Castiel. He was so sweet and likable.

 

“Yeah, he does. I’m not sure if I ever told you but he’s not really my uncle you know, just a friend really.” Thinking about it, even he forgot he wasn’t blood sometimes but that didn’t matter to him.

 

“You never said, I assumed he was family.” Cas started to sound tired and Dean snuggled into him more, he was so damn comfortable.

 

“No, just a fucking brilliant man.” Cas nodded softly and stroked up and down his back. “I really don’t know what I’m going to tell him tomorrow. How can I explain needing two days off, maybe I should just go?” He let his eyes fall closed. Even though Cas had washed in his soap and used his shampoo he still smelled like himself, and he felt so warm against him. It was nice to share this moment and he appreciated it so much more because h had thought he had lost this forever.

 

“Don’t be stupid. We’ll deal with that in the morning.” He whispered back.

 

“You’re not going to leave me are you? I feel like I’ll wake up in the morning and you’ll be gone.” Cas kissed his head.

 

“No, I’m not rushing back to make appearances for them, they don’t care about me like you do. If it was the other way around I know you would be at my side.” Dean nodded and snuggled impossibly closer and hooked his leg over Cas’ thighs.“Night baby.” He mumbled. “I’m sorry today was crap.”

 

“Tomorrow will be better, you’ll see.”


	36. Chapter Fifteen - Part One

Dean woke up to a shooting pain across his forehead that left a nasty pulsing behind his eyes and in the back of his head. Everything was blurry when he opened his eyes and it was still dark. He whimpered in pain and reached out to the body next to him.

 

“Cas…” He rasped, fumbling with the sheet until he could feel skin. He tugged on whatever part he had found, he wasn’t sure what it was, and tried to pull it towards him to seek comfort.

 

“Dean?” Castiel’s voice was thick with sleep and a little distorted to his ears, he could feel him turn to face him, crowding closer until he was leaning over him.

 

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” He spoke gently, his fingers hovering over his face before he changed his mind and withdrew.

 

“Hurts.” It was the only thing he managed to gasp out. He hadn’t been in this much pain before; he couldn’t understand where it was coming from, why it was so bad. He breathed deeply and tried to relax, he was frowning so deeply that even that was causing him discomfort. Cas placed a comforting palm against his forehead, his hand felt cool and he leant into the touch, it was soothing.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Cas reassured him, petting his hair cautiously. A light shined to the left of him where the phones were plugged in and he winced and tried to shelter his eyes from it, he buried his face into his pillow and whined. “Sorry, sorry.” Cas quickly apologized and the light vanished.

 

“I’m sorry.” Dean mumbled, he moved as slowly as he could, not wanting to disturb his sore head any more than necessary. He faced Cas and wrapped an arm around the man’s waist, the other cradled against his own chest. He let his head come to rest under Cas’ chin. He hooked his ankle behind Cas’ calf and tried to get closer to the comforting heat.

 

He felt like he had been hit with a sledgehammer and everything sounded like he was underwater. He tried to block it out, block everything out that wasn’t the sweet sound of Cas’ voice whispering soft reassurances to him in the dark to him. He skin tickled on his back where he was being stroked, a comforting repetitive motion that he tried to concentrate on instead of the pounding in his head.

 

“Sleep, Dean,” he whispered. “It’s okay, just relax.” The duvet was high, upto his chin and it was warm, he was surrounded by Cas and right now that was what he needed. He listened to him breathe; he tried to match his own shuddering breaths with the deep inhale and exhale above him. The calming effect it had on him was astounding, the pain anchored and made bearable by the strong presence.

 

“I’ll wake you in the morning for painkillers. I set an alarm for when you can have some more.”

 

“What time?”

 

“Six.” He felt something press against the top of his head and he liked to think Cas had kissed him there. He listened to him talk to him until he gently drifted off.

 

*

He groaned at the sound of an insistent beeping and started to stretch as it woke him up, it cut out almost as soon as it had went off and he sighed in relief. It couldn’t be time to get up yet, he wasn’t ready to face the world. The warmth vanished quickly from the bed and the weight next to him disappeared, the bed felt empty and large without it. He opened one eye to peer at Castiel and see why he had moved. He was hopping on the spot and pulling on a pair of Dean’s jeans. It was still dark in the room but the first light of the sun was pouring through his window, they hadn’t drawn the curtains last night so that meant he could see Cas clearly. As soon as the other man noticed he was being watched, he stilled, jean’s open and chest and feet bare. He should be embarrassed knowing he had been caught staring but he didn’t care. Castiel surprised him and leant over and cupped Dean’s face and kissed him on the nose. He had never done that before and it made him tingle and wonder what he had done to deserve it.

 

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Dean nodded slowly. He wanted so bad to reach up and drag Cas into the bed with him but he didn’t. He couldn’t remember why he was leaving but he knew he had to do something now. Instead he grabbed the pillow that his friend had been lying on and cuddled it, inhaling in the clean smell of him. He pulled the duvet over his head to block out the light and listened to Cas shuffle around the room until he heard his footsteps leave and then the click of his door.

 

*

 

He rolled out of bed and cradled the crown of his head. He was alone and everything was kind of fuzzy. He remembered that Cas had been here this morning and he had left early hours. He reached for his phone to check what time it was, it was bright outside and he felt groggy from sleeping for too long but as the same time he was exhausted. It was midday. Fuck, he had slept in, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He wasn’t surprised that Cas was gone, he would be at school. He was disappointed that he didn’t leave a text, his phone was blank. He was torn between rolling over and going back to sleep or getting up.

 

His bladder won in the end and he pulled the duvet off, he scanned the floor for some pants but couldn’t see any. He stood up, wobbling slightly and his head pulsed, for an alarming second he thought he was going to fall but he managed to find balance. He shuffled forwards and braced himself by holding onto his set of draws. He pulled on some loose fitting pants out the middle draw and put them on with a little bit of difficulty. He managed to get to the bathroom okay as long as he had one hand against the wall.

 

He stood at the top of the stairs and looked down, he wasn’t really sure if this was a good idea or not, he didn’t want to fall but he needed to get a drink. Trying to remember where he had put his painkillers last night was harder than it should have been, they could be anywhere but a good place to start would be the kitchen. Was he in the kitchen last night? He shakily sat on the floor and made his way down the stairs by slowly shifting down them on his bum until he was almost at the bottom, then he used the rail to pull himself up. It reminded him of when he was a kid and he smiled fondly.

 

He made his way to the kitchen; he yawned loudly and stopped in his tracks at the door. Cas was standing opposite him, holding a tray of food and dressed in Dean’s clothes.

 

“I made you some lunch.” He smiled awkwardly at him like he wasn’t sure how he was going to act. “I thought I should wake you up for some pain relief, you already took medication without eating this morning and it’s not good for you.” Dean nodded and distantly remembered Cas holding a glass of water to his lips this morning and trying to get him to swallow. He had been awkward and confused and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

 

“I thought you had gone to school?” He asked, trying to avert his own embarrassment.

 

“No, I called in sick for the next few days.” Cas answered and looked at him like it was obvious. Maybe he had mentioned it before? He couldn’t really remember and trying made him dizzy. He hoped Cas wouldn’t get caught, after everything that had happened last night he didn’t need Michael to have any other reasons to bully Cas.

 

“Cas, you shouldn’t have done that, you’ll get in trouble.” He had already missed most of the day so there was no point him going now; he hoped he didn’t get caught. That reminded him that he hadn’t called in sick today, shit. The school couldn’t have called Bobby because he would have called Dean and throttled him down the phone. Fuck, what about Sam? How the hell had he got to school? Well, what ever had happened had obviously worked itself out because he had no missed calls on his phone and he was one hundred percent sure that Sam had not bothered him this morning. “Don’t flunk school for my sake Cas, you’ll get detention.” He doubted that Cas had ever had detention in his life and he didn’t want him to start now.

 

Cas grinned. “Really now?” He said with mock confidence. “Who would think that nerdy little Castiel  
Novak would bunk off school? Certainly not the school. I fed them some story about family issues and they believed it. I took Sam to school with Gabriel and Samandriel and then came back here to explain to Bobby what happened.” Dean stared at him; he had literally fixed everything he was worried about in one sentence. Sometimes he really underestimated Cas. “Right now you need you get your butt back to bed, I’m going to spoil you all day.” He couldn’t argue with that. There was a light pain flickering behind his eyelids and he really wanted to go and lay back down but he was curious about how Bobby had reacted when Cas had spoken to him this morning.

 

“What did Bobby say?” Cas walked past him and up the stairs, as if dismissing what he had asked. He followed him, holding the banister and meeting him at the top where he had waited for him.

 

“I’ll tell you in a second now get back into bed.” Dean did as he was told and once they were back in his room he climbed back in. Cas put the tray on the set of draws and then fussed round Dean, straightening the sheets and poofing the pillows behind him.  Dean sat with a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his stomach. It felt good to be looked after. He had really been convinced Cas had left him, why did he think that when Cas had promised to stay? “Here’s your medication, is your head sore?” Dean took them; gratefully swallowing them down with some water and glad for the distraction from his feelings. He liked to think things were okay between them but obviously he still subconsciously had doubts.

 

“I have a bit of a headache but I’m okay. Feels a bit tender, that’s all.” He answered honestly, it was nowhere near as bad as it had been in the night, it had felt like his head was splitting in two. At the moment it was more annoying than anything else.

 

Cas fetched the tray and placed it on Dean’s lap and then cautiously sat down as not to spill the mugs of coffee he had made for them. As well as the drinks there was a large bowl of pasta with chicken and vegetables in a light creamy sauce. It smelt delicious and Dean’s stomach grumbled loudly.

 

“I hope you don’t mind, I helped myself, I just did something quick and easy that I knew you would like.” Dean picked up a fork and eagerly stabbed a few pieces of pasta onto the utensil. He shoved them into his mouth like a starving man. He moaned at the taste as it assaulted his taste buds.

 

“Can you cook for me every day? This is delicious.” Cas blushed at the compliment.

 

“It’s not that nice, you’re just hungry, that’s all.” He brushed aside the comment. “We didn’t eat a lot yesterday.” Dean paused mid-chew and realized he was right. They hadn’t had any dinner last night, after everything that happened, the last thing on their minds had been food.

 

“It’ okay, thanks for making me something. Are you having some?” There was a lot a food there and another fork; it was more of a prompt than a question. Cas was sat very stiffly and he knew it was because he felt guilty about last night. He didn’t like that Cas was uncomfortable around him. He put his fork down and moved the tray to the empty side of the bed. He carefully took Cas’ hands into his own.

 

“Cas, it’s okay.” He watched the moment that his smile became less natural and more forced, like he was trying to hold onto the facade. He squeezed his hands reassuringly.

 

“I-“ Cas’ voice broke slightly; he looked choked with emotion all of a sudden. He felt sorry for him, he had never realized that Cas struggled with his emotions so much.

 

“You don’t have to pretend with me. Remember what we said last night?” Cas nodded and his smile twisted into a frown like he couldn’t hold it any longer. Dean didn’t push the issue, he patiently waited to see what he would say.

 

“I’m okay, I am.” He sniffled slightly and looked down at their linked hands. “I’m just still stuck on what happened, I keep remembering all those things we said. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, Dean.” His eyes watered at he looked at him earnestly. The memories were still painful and fresh but for him they were overshadowed by what was yet to come, by the happiness he felt from being around Cas and the hope that he had for them. He wanted them to be so much more, to be happy and he was probably crazy but he really thought they could be something special. Cas was by far the most important person to him and he wasn’t shy to admit it anymore. The way he felt about Cas should be celebrated, some people never got to feel this way. And here he was, eighteen years old and sat with a person that he felt completed him. It was hard to express what he was feeling, it felt as though there wasn’t enough words. He was so lucky and the way he felt could only be explained in one way.

 

“It’s okay. I love you, Castiel.” He stared at him, holding onto the small stand of hope that he wouldn’t be rejected by him, not again, never again. Cas’ lower lip trembled and he bit into it softly. He leant forwards and pulled Dean into a tight hug. The position wasn’t the most comfortable but it still felt nice to hold each other.

 

“I love you, too.” He buried his face into Dean’s neck and he felt like he was flying. There was nothing that could ruin this moment for him. He had said it and nothing bad had happened, the world was still spinning and everything remained the same. The only thing that had changed was that he felt… more, as if Cas accepting what he felt had made him lighter somehow.“Thank you, for not leaving me.” Cas kissed his neck and it felt wet but Dean knew he wasn’t sad.

 

“As if, who else would bring me breakfast in bed?” He joked and Cas laughed through his tears and pulled out of their embrace.

 

“It’s lunch time, Dean.” He corrected and wiped his tears away.

 

“Same difference, now eat up, you haven’t told me what Bobby said yet.” Dean grabbed the tray and put it back on his lap, there was no point them sat crying over their feelings like a couple of girls. Cas nodded, grabbed a fork and then told him everything.

 

 


	37. Chapter Fifteen - Part Two

It turned out that Dean didn't have a lot to worry about concerning Bobby’s reaction, he had always been pretty predictable when it came to a lot of things. That meant that in hindsight he should have prepared himself for what Cas said next.

 

"…and then he rolled up his newspaper, whacked me on the head with it, and told me not to act like a 'idjit' like that ever again otherwise he would start to treat me like one." Dean’s hands clapped over his face, hiding in embarrassment, unable to reply for a second. Cas had mentioned it so casually, quotation marks and all. Dean watched him between the gaps in his fingers, he took a large gulp of his coffee and then started shoving pasta in his mouth again. Dean was completely mortified.

 

"Oh, fuck," he muttered and slowly slid his hands down his face. "He actually hit you? I'm so sorry, I don't know he would do that." Cas shrugged.

 

"He looked like he wanted to kill me but I wasn't afraid. It was okay, he gave me a hug afterwards. He was really nice about it and sat me down at the kitchen table and we had a cup of tea, he even gave me some advice before he left for work. I've never had someone older talk to me like that before, like I was an equal. He didn't talk down to me at all. He  is very understanding and very accommodating." He wasn't sure what Cas was expecting Bobby to say or do when he came clean but it sounded like he had been happy with the result so it can't have been too bad.

 

"I'm sorry about the newspaper though, but that's just Bobby." Dean said as if it explained everything, and in a way it did.

 

"It is actually quite humorous, looking back on it now." Dean snorted and it started them both off laughing.

 

“Dude, he hit you like a dog.” Dean gasped between his giggles. Cas pouted at him and Dean ruffled his hair. They settled into a comfortable silence.

 

They finished eating quicker than they should have, both had worked up a hearty appetite and Dean was glad he was wearing lose pants because his stomach was pleasantly full and just a little bloated. They spent the afternoon talking, wrapped up in each other and dosing in and out of sleep while listening to different albums. It was comfortable and though they didn't do a lot it was one of the best days Dean had shared with Cas in a while. He lay in a daze, content to just hold Cas' and to be in his company. He still couldn't believe he had bunked off school to be with him, it was really sweet. But he couldn’t help but feel like he was looking for trouble though. Now he knew about Michael and Luke he was worried what would be waiting for his friend when he got home.

 

“Cas?” The other boy hummed in acknowledgement next to him, as if talking was too much of an effort. They were laying on top of the duvet because they had turned the heat on, Cas holding him tightly from behind, tangled up together. It made him feel secure, their bodies pressed so close, he could feel each of Cas’ breaths against the back of his neck and it gave him butterflies. Dean kissed each of Cas’ knuckles on his hand and the other man sighed.

 

“Are you alright, Dean?” He whispered and kissed the nape of his neck. It made him shiver. He watched his flex his hands to renew the grip on where they were joined to his own.

 

“I’m just worried, what happens when you go home? Will you not get in trouble?” As much as he was enjoying this, allowing himself to get lost in his own little world where it was just the two of them, he couldn’t help but think that ignoring reality wasn’t going to help them.

 

“Well the twins will have gone home last night, as long as Anna doesn’t grass me in, I will be home by the time they start to notice anything amiss. They’re all so wrapped up in their own lives, I am of little importance.” Hearing him say that so casually made him really sad. It was okay that he wouldn’t get caught but it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty. He had talked about not seeing Gabriel being a huge worry for him last night and now here he was hogging all of Cas’ attention like a spoiled brat. But thinking about it, he didn’t really feel selfish, if Cas wasn’t very well he would try his best to look after him too. He didn’t feel particularly ill and sometimes he forgot about his injury until he moved in the wrong way and then it came back sharply and painfully. Cas would only be school now anyway, of course he wouldn’t be hanging out with Gabriel. His thoughts didn’t make sense at the moment.

 

“What about Alfie?” Poor Alfie had been dragged into a hell of a lot of mess and he seemed like a really nice kid but he didn’t trust him not to mention anything about Cas.

 

“We don’t have to worry about that, I spoke to the boys this morning when I drove them to school. Did you not think Sam would think it was strange to find me in your kitchen this morning and making breakfast instead of you?” Ah, he did have a point there, he hadn’t even thought about Sam and how he would take this. He would probably be more bothered that Dean got to have a few days off and he didn’t. Fuck. Dean froze and he thought about how Sam would take the news of him having a concussion because of him and Castiel arguing. He hoped he didn’t blame the other man. Sometimes Sam tended to overreact about things when it came to Dean, for a long time they were all each other had so their brotherly bond was understanding. But really, he didn’t need any more conflict between Cas and Sam. He really hoped that Cas had given an abridged version of the events.

 

“Was Sam pissed?” He tried to sound casual about it but he had a case of word vomit again, this was worse than being drunk. He had no control over what he was saying at all.

 

“Not at all, he ate his breakfast and asked where you were. I said I’d explain in the car. I drove him to my parent’s house and picked up the boys and then explained. It went okay.” He made everything sound simple; things were never simple for them. He hoped he wasn’t hiding something.

 

“Well, what did you say?”

 

“Nothing much, I sugarcoated it. I told them we were at The Lakes and you hurt yourself, that I drove you to the ER and that I would be scarce for a few days helping to look after you so Mr. Singer could run his shop fine. It was fine, Samandriel and Gabriel said they would cover for me. Look, Dean, I don’t want you worrying about these things okay, I have it all figured out. I told you things would be better and I mean it. We’ll deal with this together; I’m not keeping anything from you I promise.” Dean nodded and hugged Cas’ arm to his chest, he closed his eyes and relaxed again. He believed him.

 

When it got to three o'clock Cas untangled himself from Dean who protested as he woke from his daydream. He had been so comfortable and now he felt so cold without Cas holding him. They both rolled onto their back. Castiel stretched to the side of him and yawned loudly. Dean shamelessly watched the way his t-shirt rose high enough to flash his midriff; his jeans that were just slightly large on him, pulled lower as the bottoms caught on Cas' toes. Dean rolled to face him and stroked his hand over the exposed flesh of his stomach, reveling in the softness with a happy smile on his face.

 

"You're so fucking hot." He grinned and then pushed his hand under the gap in the denim, under the boxers that he knew belonged to him. There was something appealing about him wearing his clothes. Cas stopped mid stretch and bucked into the touch, surprised. It was strange to feel Cas' penis soft, it was the first time he had touched it like this, he had obviously seen it small but had never paid much attention. He discovered he liked the feeling of it resting against his palm as he gently cupped him. He squeezed gently and he could feel it start to twitch and swell under the attention. He licked his lips.

 

"Do you have to do that when I have to go and pick our brothers up?" He asked in dismay and grabbed Dean's hand and pulled it out of his pants before the temptation became too much.

 

"Don't we have time for ...?" Dean wiggled his eyebrows and looked at him suggestively, Cas rolled his eyes.

 

"Do you want the short answer or the long one?" He asked as he rolled out of the bed. Dean glared at him, why did he have to move? Who was he supposed to hug now? Dean went to give him a smart-ass reply but Cas cut him off knowingly. "No." He said pointedly and then rummaged through Dean's underwear draw to find a matching pair of socks.

 

"What was the long answer? Does it involve you staying any longer?" He whined. Cas raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"We don't have time for a start and I'm pretty sure you are high as a kite right now." Dean tried to keep a straight face but he dissolved into giggles. He was feeling a bit strange right now. “I can’t take advantage of you like this, you’re not very well.”

 

"I think you're lying to me, none if those reasons should come between my mouth and your dick."

 

"Are you purposely making this difficult?" Dean flashed him a smile.

 

"I'm taking your car by the way, I'll come back as soon as I can, I'm going to go home and pick up a few things first." He explained, grabbing his phone and then looking on the floor for shoes. He slipped into a pair of Dean's sneakers. Their wet clothes were still in a black bag downstairs, he should really sort that out, but not now. He was going to relax and concentrate on getting better... maybe. That meant movies and a lazy day in bed. "I need to get some clean clothes; I can't wear your stuff forever."

 

"What? Are you staying again tonight?" He asked hopefully. Cas stopped fiddling around to look at him.

 

"Is that okay? Bobby said it was fine, I didn't think to ask you, I just assumed." He looked nervous like he was wrong to presume what Dean would want.

 

"Mmm, it's okay, just get back soon. What if I need snacks or something?"

 

"You have water there if you’re thirsty; I guess I'll stop by the store on the way home with Sam." Dean nodded slowly and Cas glanced at the time on his phone. He hovered around the door. "I'm sorry but I really have to go get the boys. I'll call you at the store." He fiddled with his keys and then kissed him sweetly before he left.

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as Cas left, Dean was up and out of bed and making his way to the bathroom to have a wash. Even though he had been fine showering with Cas last night he didn’t really want to do it again, there were some things that you could only do in private. He spent a few minutes on the toilet relieving himself and played a game of Tetris until he got annoyed with it and gave up. After he was done he set his phone on the sink and went about his business carefully, he didn’t want to fall. He was still quite dizzy and everything was like a dream, maybe Cas was right, he was at least a little bit high. The pain meds were certainly doing their job so he wasn’t really bothered by the side effects. He had a wash at the sink and shaved his face, glancing at his phone every few seconds, he didn’t want to miss a call. He went back to his room to change his clothes, he pulled on some shorts and a clean t-shirt. He spent a few minutes trying to find deodorant that wasn’t empty (damn Sam, always coming in his room and using his shit) and threw the others in the bin. He looked around his messy room and decided he didn’t care, he grabbed his duvet and made his way downstairs on his bum again.

 

He wondered around looking for the bag of dirty clothes until he got to the kitchen, they were folded on top of the counter, clean, and dry and ironed, even the hospital clothes that they had put in the hamper last night were there. He wasn’t sure if it was Cas or Bobby but either way he was grateful, though he doubted that Bobby knew he owned an iron. He hadn’t even noticed when it had been done, must have been when he was sleeping this morning.

 

He crawled onto the couch and buried himself under the duvet. There was nothing on TV so he left it on a kids channel and let himself go back to sleep.

 

When the guys returned Dean was woken up by the sound of Sam kicking his shoes off and them both hitting the wall. They came into the room and Cas beamed down at him. His smile was the best thing he had seen all day and he felt like reaching his arms out so Cas would come and hug him but he refrained, that would be childish. He rubbed at his eyes to try and wake up more and was instantly amused by the amount of grocery bags they were holding.

 

"What did you do? Buy the store?" He asked, trying to sit up more. Cas nodded and set some of the bags on the coffee table.

 

"Practically," he replied. He crouched down in front of him to get to his level and petted his hair lovingly. "How are you feeling? Were you okay by yourself? I called you but you didn’t answer."  He pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead.

 

“I don’t remember.” Cas frowned at him, concerned. “I was sleeping, I probably didn’t hear it, that’s all.” Cas nodded and Dean was flattered at his concern. Cas was taking such good care of him. “Did you do all that laundry in the kitchen?” He asked, remembering the tall pile on the side.

 

“This morning, I thought I would save you a job.” Cas leant in close to him and continued to brush his fingers through his hair, it was soothing on his head.

 

“Thanks, babe.” Sam dropped into one of the armchairs by them and pulled a face.

 

"Erg, you guys make me sick." He was loudly eating a pack of potato chips. "You're so sweet you're gonna give me a cavity."

 

"Where'd you get chips, brat?" Dean threw a pillow at him and Cas moved out the way. "Chips will give you cavities." Cas watched the two squabble but didn’t comment.

 

"Cas bought 'em." He shrugged and grabbed the television remote, flicking through the channels.

 

"Bribery or your kind nature?" Dean asked him with a mock-suspicious look, though really he was happy that Cas had bought his little brother something. Though it was small, it didn’t matter because it was the thought that counted. He hoped Sam hadn’t bugged him for them.

 

"A little bit of both." Cas joked and smiled innocently. He stood up so he could sit on the edge of the couch cushion to be closer to Dean.

 

"How about I take advantage of that kind nature, huh? And steal some kisses?  I missed you." Cas glanced towards Sam who wasn’t paying attention and nodded. When they kissed Dean could feel his smile, it was a closed mouth press against his lips and it made him tingle and his head spin in a good way for the first time that day. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas neck and pulled him in closer to kiss him deep. He felt starved of his attention, which was crazy because he had spent hours with him just earlier today, but right now he needed to be closer. Sam made a gagging noise in the background, effectively ruining their nice moment.

 

"What now, bitch? Jealous?" He snapped as he pulled away, annoyed. Cas licked his lips and looked surprised that Dean had kissed him like that in front of Sam.

 

"No, I just don't want to watch you guys suck face and no, before you say it, not because you are both guys, but because your my brother and I can see tongue. Hint taken, I'm outta here." He screwed up the empty packet of chips and threw it in the bin before he left.

 

"Do you wind him up deliberately?" Cas asked him, looking slightly confused.

 

"Of course, keeps him on his toes." He grinned. 


	38. Chapter Fifteen - Part Three

Once Sam had disappeared Dean wasted no time in pulling Cas towards him; Cas squeaked and looked unsurely towards the door.

 

"Dean, is this really a good idea?" He asked, Dean shushed him by pulling him again and encouraging him to sit on top of him. It was a welcome weight pressed against his pelvis, comfortable.

 

Cas looked at the door again but settled with his knees on either side of Dean’s hips, the blanket separating them. Dean ran up his hands up and down the denim on Cas' thighs as he looked up at him. He had been home like he said, he was wearing one of his sweaters over the top of Dean's shirt and it was just a little bit big on him, it looked adorable. Dean still hadn't decided what he liked more, Cas dressed up all dapper or when he was comfortable like this. He really wanted to kiss him again.

 

Castiel's eyes bared into him. "Are you sure this okay? I really don’t want you to regret anything. You're on _really_ strong painkillers, you were so angry with me last night and now you want to kiss me. I don't understand what I've done to deserve it." He fiddled with Dean’s t-shirt after he spoke, avoiding looking at him. Dean didn’t want him to question whether he deserved his affections, who was he to make him feel undeserving? He had been just as bad. He was sad that Cas felt that way, in a way he did too; but they were young and in love and he was hoping things would go back to normal quickly. It felt a lifetime ago that they were arguing so viciously but in reality it hadn't even been twenty four hours since it happened, was he being too forgiving? Looking at him now he couldn't think that way, let alone feel that way. He just wanted them to be close again.

 

"That was yesterday and this is today,” he sighed and reached for him as he tried to explain. “Right now you look beautiful and I really, really want to kiss you.” Castiel blushed and a smile played across his lips. Dean grinned, knowing he was getting through to him. “If you don’t want to then that’s okay, we can just hug or do something else but you’re _not_ taking advantage of me." Cas raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“No!” Dean insisted quickly. “Not _that_! I just meant-“

 

"I know what you meant,” Cas assured him. “I just don't want it to be the pills talking, that's all." He admitted. He really hoped that was the only reason. He had only just kissed him. Why was he so reluctant now? He tried not to let it show that it hurt him that he didn’t want to be kissed again. He had to respect Cas’ choices.

 

"It's not, it’s not the pills, just -" he was frustrated, not sure how to express how he was feeling. Did it really matter? Surely Castiel was feeling the same way. "Come here." Cas leaned forwards so he was lying on top of him; it was a comfort to the both of them.

 

"So what do you want to do tonight?" He thought diverting the subject might help, get them onto more comfortable ground.

 

“I bought my laptop with me; I thought we could watch some movies in bed?” Dean grinned and kissed him on the head; it was like Cas was inside his mind sometimes.

 

“That sounds brilliant.” He could admit that their relationship progression was backwards, so this meant they hadn’t done a lot of really simple things. Now they were both at Bobby’s house and they had a safe and open environment, there was no reason why they couldn’t cuddle up in bed and watch movies and eat bad food. Dean would even feel comfortable doing it in the lounge. It was just the fact he wanted to spend some alone time with Cas to try and rebuild their bond.

 

"Well I haven't really watched that many films and you keep saying you'll watch some with me. I thought tonight would be a good opportunity." Dean was excited show him all of his favorite movies; he didn't even know where to start. There was a load of DVDs on the shelf but anything he didn't have he could just download using Bobby's PC. But really, he could get to that later; it would be nice for Cas to choose.

 

"What type of things do you like?" Cas shrugged and sat up looking a bit uncertain. "Like genre? Do you want to watch something funny? Or like with cars or fantasy or action and adventure? I don't own any chick flicks but Sam might have some if that floats your boat." He joked. He knew Cas read a lot; maybe he would like something that had been adapted into a movie?

 

"I don't really know, I don't want to watch anything too scary, I don't think I would enjoy being scared. And I don't really have a typical sense of humor so that's out of the question. I think I would enjoy some kind of fantasy or science fiction." That left Dean with a lot of suggestions that popped into his head quickly. There was the new Star Trek movie and Star Wars,  and maybe some Doctor Who if Cas decided he suddenly wanted even less of a social life. If he was staying the night and was here tomorrow then watching a series of something wasn't out if the question.

 

"There's a load but I can't be bothered to list ‘em right now. How about I help you put the groceries away?" Cas climbed off him and then helped him up.

 

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

 

Cas made lasagna and fries for their dinner; he was just pulling it out of the oven when Bobby walked through the door. He had been chatting animatedly but was instantly silenced as soon as he walked in the room. He looked edgy and Dean thought he might still be awkward around Bobby; after all, he had no idea what they had talked about this morning. He hoped Bobby hadn’t said anything to upset him, though he hoped since they were doing this whole honesty thing, that Cas would have mentioned it. He looked at him suspiciously as he watched Cas  busy himself by grabbing the plates. He realized he was probably being really paranoid.

 

He smiled at his Uncle who was covered in engine oil and looked happy to be home. He felt a little guilty that he would be understaffed at the shop but he tried not to dwell on it.

 

"Hi, boys." Bobby greeted as he came to stand next to them. "How's yer head, Dean?" He asked, looking concerned and making that his number one propriety.

 

"A lot better, the painkillers are helping a lot." Bobby stood behind him and Dean obediently let him part his hair and assess the damage.

 

"It's only a scratch, you'll live." He determined.

 

"I had three stitches! It's more than a scratch!" Dean complained. He was hoping to get a bit of pity but apparently not! It seemed Cas was the only one who gave a damn!

 

"Boo hoo, Princess. That's what you get for hanging around down The Lakes at night. You have your nice young man taking care of you anyway, so quit your bitching. You got off easy if you ask me.” Dean rolled his eyes and frowned at the floor, he didn’t need a lecture about it. He knew what they had done wrong, he wasn’t a child.

 

“I know, don’t you think we’re suffering as is it?” He didn’t mean to take the comment so seriously but he couldn’t help it. Things were far from perfect and he was more than sensitive at the moment. Cas couldn’t even kiss him without feeling guilty. “My relationship, if you can even call it that, was almost over before it began. I’m sorry we acted like brats, it won’t happen again. It made me realize the important things.”Bobby stared at him for a few seconds, seemingly taken back at his direct words.

 

“Aright boy, let’s just move on from that then, eh?” Dean was grateful and agreed. Bobby squeezed his shoulder affectionately. “I tried to get off early for ya but I couldn't get away. I see Cas has got the fort covered here." Bobby was trying to pick the mood back up and it worked with his praise of Cas, who nodded.

 

“I hope you don’t think I’m interfering, but I made dinner.” Bobby beamed at him and ruffled his hair.

 

“You’re handy, you can stay more often. There’s normally a war every night deciding who makes dinner.” Cas blushed and started to serve it onto plates. “I’m just gonna get out these work clothes.” He smiled at the two of them before he disappeared out the kitchen. Cas looked like he was breathing a sigh of relief at his absence. Dean wasn’t sure whether to mention it or to leave it. Being honest with each other was one thing but he didn’t want to be invasive or pushy. He settled for grabbing his attention by taking the spatula off him and laying it on the counter. He looked at him questionably.

 

“What?” Dean pulled him into an embrace and rested his head on Cas’ shoulder. Cas stood stiff for a few seconds until he gave him, melting into him and mirroring Dean. He treasured the feeling of their embrace and held him tighter. He remembered standing like this before. It seemed like a long time since he had visited Cas’ house the first time and flirted with him in the kitchen, so confused about how he was feeling but never daring to imagine that things would come this far. The innocently spoken _“I really like you.”_ had brought them a long way.

 

“I feel guilty every time I look at him, he was so understanding but I could tell he was disappointed. I’m not the person that he thought I was. He thought I was responsible and would look after you, that you would be safe and I hurt you.” He whispered, speaking into Dean’s neck. Dean pulled back to look at him.

 

“Don’t…” He muttered, it was physically painful to see Cas beating himself up like that. “I’m sorry too and I forgive you.” He leaned in close again, kissing his way slowly across his cheek until he felt him move away from the caress.

 

Dean felt weak at the knees the way Cas looked at him after that, his heart beating double time in his chest. He was transfixed. Cas was glancing at his lips and hope blossomed in his chest. Cas was going to kiss him, he knew that look. He stayed still, wanting Cas to come to him, to initiate it and make Dean feel like he was wanted again. He leaned in slowly, both of them knowing what was going to happen but Cas leaving enough time for Dean to back out if he wanted.

 

Cas’ lips were soft as they moved gently against his own, he took a deep breath through his nose and tried to steady his heart. His hand gripped at Cas’ jumper. His lips were making him dizzy as they encouraged his own to move. Dean kissed him until he could feel himself tremble with all the emotion that Cas was pouring into it. He shivered as he felt Cas’ hand frame his face and he relaxed into the touch, leaning into him and-

 

“Jesus-fucking-Christ, guys, seriously?!” They pulled apart at the sound of Sam’s distraught voice and both laughed breathlessly before their lips joined again. “Fuck my life…” Sam muttered as he grabbed his plate and wandered back out the room. Dean didn’t even think to correct his bad language, he was too happy.

 

* * *

 

 

The day felt long even though Dean had barely moved. After dinner they had started watching a movie downstairs with Bobby and Sam, they watched Mulan, ("No, Sam, we're not watching Lord of the Rings!") and then decided to go upstairs.

 

Once in the privacy of their own room they messed around on the internet for a while, googling random things and checking various social accounts. They both sat in their boxers and night-shirts and the laptop balanced between them where they sat closely. They quickly got bored of stalking other people and attempted to watch some porn because hey, they were eighteen and the door had a lock! Why not?

 

Cas, blushing the entire time, shared some of his of his favorite guy on guy action. Dean wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or turned on. It was weird getting a boner over a guy who wasn't Cas. It seemed all wrong but he was still standing to attention in his pants and Cas noticed and laughed at him. Dean was a little jealous and asked how often he watched this. Cas flushed and pointed to one of the actors, "It's this guy, I think he's very beautiful." Dean pouted at him which seemed to amuse Cas even more. “Dean, look at him.”

 

He tried to figure what he found so appealing. He stared at the actors for a while but the fact that one was on his knees was kind of distracting. They were both quite good looking and their dicks stupidly large. Oh fuck, did he have a small dick and he had never known? He shook away the thought, that was stupid. Cas was about the same size as him and he was more than big enough. He pulled his attention away from the guy who was expertly deep-throating big-dick guy, and moaning like he was dying and it soon became obvious. Dean squinted his eyes and then he could see where Cas was coming from. The guy standing, he had sandy brown hair and bright green eyes and light stubble across his jaw. In fact, he looked very similar to Dean in a lot of ways, just _older_. Cas pecked him on the cheek and grinned at him. Dean licked his lips.

 

“He looks like me.” He stated dumbly. Cas wanking over a guy who looked like him? That was really hot.

 

“He looks a lot like you, I know. He has done a few of these porno’s. It’s not weird that I watch them, is it?” Dean didn’t want Cas to think he was weird. Dean still watched porn on his phone sometimes (though very rarely since he had his own of Castiel). But he hadn’t ventured over into gay porn on his own yet. The thought hadn’t really crossed his mind. He wasn’t uncomfortable watching it. In fact his body was responding well if the ache between his legs was anything to go by. The problem at the moment was how ridiculously curious it was making him,  he watched fascinated as the not-Dean lookalike lay the other guy on the table and spread his lover’s legs, he pushed into him slowly, giving the other guy time to adjust and Dean felt himself throb.

 

“You’ve watched a few of these?” His mouth was suddenly very dry and he forced himself to look away from the screen. Cas nodded. “You like to watch someone who looks like me get fucked?” Cas squirmed.

 

“When you put it like that it sounds weird.” Cas squirmed and his cheeks flamed. “I meant it as a compliment.”

 

“I’m taking it as a compliment, fucking hell, Cas, you keep surprising me.” He laughed. Dean crossed out of the browser and made a decision that watching porn together wasn’t a good idea. It was really quiet now, too quiet, so he tried to distract himself from his thoughts by being nosy and looking through Cas’ iTunes.

 

The thought’s quickly caught him up, he was thinking about porn again, that wasn’t a good idea. Watching more porn might lead to… other things. Things they hadn’t spoken about properly yet. Though he didn’t deny he was more than curious. He hesitated and bit into his lip softly in thought. Cas was staring down at his lips again and still looked flushed. He could see the outline of his dick in his boxers and it was making his mouth water.  Cas noticed him staring and pulled his shirt over it.

 

“Do you want to… Do you ever think about it?” He asked. He didn’t have to explain what he meant, Dean already knew, of course.

 

“You know I do. That time when I fingered myself while we were on the phone, I admitted that much. I feel like it will be soon.” It was strange talking about it, they had only ever mentioned that particular incident once. They didn’t often acknowledge out loud that they did sexual things together. It did something pleasant to Dean’s stomach but also made him feel a bit on edge, out of his comfort zone. He guessed they needed to talk about it sometime, why not know? Especially since they were trying to do the whole honest thing.

 

“Even after what happened?” Okay, that certainly changed to mood, being reminded of his head smacking off the pavement. He let himself think about it. Would he still want to do that? Want to have proper penetrative sex with Cas? To let him touch him inside or touch the other man that way? He remembered how hot and tight he had been around his fingers; Cas had been expressive and trembled under his touch, throbbed and begged and- Yes. The answer was yes. He would have sex with him. And really it didn’t matter who put what where, it was about the connection between them and the passion. He just _feels_ so much about Cas, surely this is a good way to express it, to share something precious and beautiful with him.

 

“Especially now,” he answered, truthfully. “I told Bobby earlier that us fighting made me appreciate the important things, you are the important thing I was talking about, Cas. You. I just-“ He moved the laptop off their laps and put it safely to the side of him. He took Cas’ hands in his own and bought them to his mouth where he kissed his knuckles. Cas looked like he was melting, the nervous energy thrumming around him gone. “Maybe it won’t be today or tomorrow but… I think it’s something we should talk about. I’m ready. I want to havesex with you.” Cas nodded slowly, unable to keep the smile off his face.

 

“I would like that very much.” He grinned.

 

“But don’t think you have to,” he was quick to reassure. “I don’t want to pressure you into doing stuff you don’t want to. It’s your first time and it should be special… or something.” He didn’t want to risk sounding like  girl but this stuff was important, he understood that now.

 

“Dean,” Cas sighed and leaned into him, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. “It will always be special with you, the way you make me feel, nothing else compares to that.” Dean’s stomach was doing flip-flops, and he had actually forgotten that he had an erection because this conversation had become so much more than about the physical act. “And it will be a first for you too.” He added and spoke softly.

 

Dean let go of one of his hands so he could wrap an arm around Cas’ shoulders, he kissed his head softly.

 

“So you’re sure about this?” Cas didn’t answer him but nodded. Fuck, this was actually happening. He wasn’t sure what to feel, what was he feeling? Nervous, excited, aroused… Was this normal? He hadn’t felt any of those things with… he needed to stop thinking about her, he couldn’t compare them forever. They were two different people and Cas was everything that she wasn’t. He was a good person. And this mattered more than anything else ever had. This was important.

 

“Do you have of preference of who’s going to bottom?” Dean frowned, confused by the unfamiliar term.

 

“… You’re talking about what I think you’re talking about, right?” Cas sat up straight and kissed his cheek affectionately.

 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about? Do you want to fuck me or do you imagine me fucking you?” Did he have to speak so directly like that? His semi- hard on was standing to full attention again, just from the tone of his voice. Fuck, he really had it bad.

 

“I don’t really mind, I think we should both try, I mean, to see who likes what the most.”

 

“Experiment? Experimenting is good.” The way Cas was looking at him was doing things to his heart and he was afraid it might beat out of his chest. “Do we just wait for it to happen? I always hoped it would happen naturally and we’d just know. Does that even happen or do I read too much?” Dean laughed fondly.

 

“You can never read too much, or at least, that’s what Bobby says. It’s different for everyone. So even though I’ve technically had sex before I guess it doesn’t matter, it’s completely different machinery and chemistry. I don’t really know. But waiting to see if it happens naturally sounds great. No pressure. Just follow what we are feeling and let that guide us.” Cas nodded and leaned his head back onto him.

 

“I think we should at least sleep on it, see how we feel and then talk again.” Dean agreed with him, that was a good idea. They had only talked about it because they had watched porn, they might feel differently when their hormones weren’t so charged.

 

“That’s a plan, baby. Let’s sleep on it.” Dean smiled and they sealed it with a kiss, it was only short but it was full of feeling and promises.

 

“Come on,” Cas said finally. He stood up and stretched. “You promised me a movie marathon and I want it.”

 

That’s how they ended up stealing a chair from Bobby’s office and putting it at the bottom of the bed. Dean grabbed all the DVD’s from around the house and Cas sat and read the back cover of every single one until he decided. He chose Avatar in the end and Dean laughed at how sentimental Cas was because he cried.

 

It was clear that they were both still thinking about what they had talked about, they didn’t mention it but it was obvious by the way they kept looking at each other. They had to pause the movie several times because they got caught up kissing each other. And Dean had to leave the room more than once to rearrange himself comfortably, he thought about getting himself off in the bathroom but he wasn’t sure if coming would make a difference. He knew he would be just as hard again once he was close to Cas again. Dean though it might be embarrassing but really it was quite funny when he thought about it, they both kept having random boners. At least he hoped that was the reason Cas kept getting hard and not the movies, blue people were not sexy. Though joking aside, the sexual tension between them was raising by the minute until they wasn’t even kissing each other anymore, worried that now they had agreed they would have sex that they were get carried away and rush it. They kept reminding each other, “Sleep on it!”

 

Now they were lying with Cas’ head on his chest and watching the ending credits of Star Wars.

 

“I still have no idea what I just watched.” Cas complained.

 

“We can watch the others tomorrow, might make more sense then.”

 

“There’s more than one?” Dean was mildly horrified, he didn’t understand what Cas did all the time if never watched TV or movies. Cas lifted his head and looked at him seriously until he couldn’t keep a straight face anymore. He started to laugh and Dean swatted him playfully.

 

“Not funny, Novak.” He smiled.

 

“I’m really tired.” Cas groaned and rolled  onto his side so he was pressed his back against Dean.

 

“Are we going to sleep now?” He felt movement so he guessed that was Cas nodding. He wasn’t sure what time it was but he was sure it was pretty early, not like it mattered anyway. He was exhausted. If he hadn’t slept so much today then he probably would have passed out by now. He put Cas’ laptop into sleep mode and turned the lamp off. It was such a nice thought that he didn’t have to be up for school tomorrow.

 

He lay back and thought about how much had changed in the past day. It all seemed surreal. He turned towards Cas so he was hugging him from behind and slotted their bodies together. He smiled happily at how well they fit, there was something really satisfying about that. He was careful to not let his hips press completely against Cas because just being so close to him was having an effect. He would sleep it off. He didn’t usually go to bed in this state but he made an exception because Cas was here. He slung an arm over him, careful to avoid the tented material and pushed his hand up his shirt, he stroked over his stomach and let himself get lost in the feel of him.

 

“Good night, baby,” he whispered. Cas didn’t answer, he was already asleep. Dean yawned and fell asleep fantasizing about the possibilities.  


	39. Chapter Fifteen - Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to mistofstars to listening to my endless complaining about this scene, also to destielismylove for being an awesome cheerleader and to ladynyra for helping it all make sense!! 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has been begging for this to happen and to everyone who has anxiously waited for this chapter!
> 
> Big hugs to Hannah, hope you like it sweety!
> 
> It's not quite how I expected and I've trashed it twice but finally we are here! I'm really nervous about this so I hoe you all enjoy it. Feedback is much appreciated :)
> 
> edit 1/11/13: I AM AWARE OF THE SCRAMBLED LINE - AO3 keeps scrambling it, I have no idea how to fix it, the system just really does not like that one line

A sleepy smile spread across his face as a soft tickle fluttered across the back of his neck; the pleasant sensation gently rousing him from sleep. Slowly the feeling moved to his shoulders, a tender whisper against his skin causing a shiver down his spine and goose bumps to erupt over him. He leaned back into the touch.

His eyes fluttered open, and slowly he became aware of his surroundings. It was still dark, Cas was curled around him, mouthing softly at his back. His t-shirt was bunched up his chest and pushed out the way, only the thin material of their boxers between them. Dean realised that it wasn’t a dream as Cas’ hand caressed against his stomach, purposely rubbing across his skin, dipping lower with each gentle stroke, almost, but not quite, reaching his already swelling cock. His hips, that had been shifting of their own accord, rocked back as those magic fingers danced over his hip bone, and pressed firmly against the hard line of Cas’ arousal. 

“Please tell me you’re awake...” Cas’ wrecked voice, that he had come to love, groaned in his ear as he moved back up to his neck. Dean nodded slowly and sighed in pleasure, bringing a hand behind himself to tangle into Cas’ hair and encourage his actions. His hips moving purposefully to wring another groan from the man. Cas pressed firmer against him, his back arching, his body now fully awake and with the programme.

“Fuck yes,” he whispered, his own voice cracked and rough from sleep. Cas’ was burning against him, his skin hot and smooth as his chest pressed against his back and it felt like an eternity had passed since their last encounter. The soft, chaste kisses of yesterday, the argument the night before, making it feel like a millennia had passed since Cas had run his hands over Dean’s hard body. And he wanted those hands everywhere.

Cas’ teasing continued, moving away from the goal Dean desperately wanted him to reach, his hand stroking higher, grazing over his left nipple, making it hard. Cas flicked his thumb over it, a spark shooting through the little nub, causing his breath to hitch and catch in his throat. Cas responded to every sound he made; the more he moaned and gasped, the more frantic Cas’ hands became, gripping and touching him everywhere. Encouraged by the desperate mess he, Dean Winchester, was making Cas, each press of his hips became harder. 

Dean needed him; he wanted Cas more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. He couldn’t explain it, nothing could compare to how Cas was making him feel in this moment. The fact they had almost lost this, destroyed everything they had was unthinkable, inconceivable- 

“I was dreaming about you,” Cas admitted, his voice rumbling deep in his ear, derailing Dean’s train of thought. “Dean, you looked…” 

He took a deep breath and Dean stilled beside him, waiting for his next words, when they came he moaned deep in this throat.

“We were in your bed… your legs were over my shoulders and…” 

Dean shut his eyes and imagined it. Of course he’d thought about what it would be like, lying here in his bed, his own hand working himself as he pictured them in different positions, it was so much better to hear the words from Castiel’s lips, deep and breathy in his ear speaking his own fantasies, his dreams. The thought that Cas had been so affected by their earlier conversation, that he had dreamed about fucking him… he had no words. 

Dean had gone to bed, his minding buzzing with possibilities and now he knew he wasn’t imagining it, that he hadn’t said it to make him happy, he hadn’t forced him into thinking about it. This wasn’t too soon. Cas wanted him too. He was stupid to think anything else, to believe that nag of uncertainly he had felt. What the hell was he waiting for? He had wanted things to go back to normal, this was normal, this had always been normal for them, right from the start. Their attraction to each other undeniable.

“Dean?” 

He felt Cas still behind him, their conversation from last night, still present, but silent between them, in their lust filled state.

“Please,” Dean moaned. It was all Cas needed. His hand slid lower, tracing the band of Dean’s boxer shorts, fingers dipping underneath, causing him roll his hips into the touch as Cas teased. 

“Please, please…” It had been so long, too long and he wouldn’t last. 

“Dean,” Cas moaned softly as he ground his hips against Dean’s ass.Dean bit into the plump flesh of his bottom lip trying to stifle a moan. 

Cas slowly slid his hand softly over Dean’s length, slipping lower to squeeze his balls gently, rolling them against his palm. Slowly he brought his hand back to the tip, fumbling slightly as he curled his fingers around the head, holding it in the tunnel of his hand. Dean sighed in pleasure at the feeling, Cas was already driving him insane and he was barely touching him. He deliberately rolled his hips pushing back against Cas’ erection, wanting Cas to feel everything, to know how much he wanted him. He wanted him to need this as much as Dean did. 

“Dean?” Cas was asking him something, his hand stilled; Dean held his breath in anticipation. 

Fuck! Please, let him not change his mind. 

“Please say this is okay… “ Cas finally breathed in desperation. “I want to feel you in my mouth.” 

Dean felt his stomach twist and his dick throb at the words, his face warming at the thought. Right now, nothing sounded better than to feel Cas’ mouth on such a sensitive place. He tugged at Cas with the hand still buried in his hair, pulling him around and over him. 

“That sounds perfect,” he whispered as Cas settled above him, resting his forehead against Dean’s. Cas’ deep breathing was hot on his face and he gently nudged Cas away enough to take in his state. He looked as wrecked as Dean felt; his face flushed with excitement. Dean gripped his jaw and leaned up, brushing their lips together; their first touch, electric.

Cas made the first move; swiping his tongue against Dean’s lip, encouraging him to open up, breaking the dam and, finally, kissing each other as if their lives depended on it. 

Dean found himself fumbling, tugging at the back of Cas’ underwear, when the elastic snapped back he gave up trying to remove them and instead shoved his hand down them, gripping Cas’ ass and pulling him closer. 

Cas was sighing into his mouth, making breathless little noises with every wet slide of their lips, their hips rolling in tandem and fingers bruising as they gripped at each other’s thighs, hips and arms. Dean’s hands found their way back to Cas’ underwear and tugged, needing desperately to feel more. The other man took the hint and helped him, breaking them apart for a few seconds, as they scrambled out of their remaining clothes and kicked their boxers to the end of the bed. 

They exchanged an exhilarating, all-knowing look before they met again. Dean pushed at Cas' shoulder, guiding him to lie on his back and rolled with him, tangling their legs together and aligning their bodies. They fit together snugly and he felt dizzy with the feeling of Cas pressed against him so close. 

"I missed this," Cas murmured against his lips and Dean found himself nodding in agreement. He tangled a hand into Dean's hair, tugging it gently, careful of his injury but still making the other boy shiver. Dean was so turned on he didn’t know where to start; he wanted to do everything, to touch Cas everywhere, finally he settled on pulling their lips together, kissing him deeper, his tongue dancing with his own.

"Fuck, baby," Dean breathed when it became too much; he had to pull away for a second to try and catch his breath. 

Cas' hands slid from his hair and trailed a path slowly down neck, to his shoulders and then down his back to grab firmly into the globe of his backside. Dean moaned and bit gently into Cas’ lip, applying knowing it would make him yearn for more. Cas grinned and purposely rolled his hips, grinding their dicks together, they steadily fell into a rhythm that left Dean gasping and desperate for release.

"Dean, shhhh," Cas hushed, grinning, doing the exact opposite of encouraging him to be quiet. His hands were still firm and his lips still desperate, dragging the breath from him. 

“I can’t help it. You drive me crazy.” Dean began kissing his way down Cas' neck, their hands reaching for each other clasping together tightly, Cas trembled with need beneath his hands. He dragged his tongue over Cas' jugular, biting softly as made his way steadily downwards. He bit, kissed and licked every inch. He sucked and played with his left nipple, encouraged by the way Cas arched into the touch, the quiet whimpers he was making under his breath.

He continued his way until he was met with those glorious hipbones. He traced each one with his finger tips, watching Cas clenching his free hand in the sheets. He kissed the left one, his lips gradually pressing more insistently until it became open mouthed. Cas pushed against him, his hard length straining and twitching, causing a moan to escape him and his dick to throb. Looking up and was met with the sight of Cas' heaving chest, his blush deep and down to his neck, biting into his hand in an effort to remain quiet.

Pulling away to admire his work, Dean smiled at the sight of the mark left, and grinned up at Cas who was staring at him with such an intense look that he was suddenly afraid he might embarrass himself and this would all be over far too soon. Holding Cas’ gaze, he deliberately places loving kisses across his tortured skin, and then finally licked a trail to his dick where it was laying hard against his stomach. He wasted no time sucking the fat head into his mouth and Dean hummed in pleasure at the heady scent of Cas’ arousal surrounding him, the bitter taste on his tongue that had grown used to, it made his stomach twist in arousal and his dick throb.

Cas fingers found their way to his hair and scratching lightly across his scalp, encouraging him, he repeated the motion a few times before his hands fell still. He gasped softly as Dean started to take him further into his mouth, torturously slow, trying to get used to the large intrusion. 

“Fuck,” Cas cursed softly and thrust gently into Dean’s mouth, starting a rhythm that Dean met easily. He held the base of Cas’ dick firmly and, using the saliva from his mouth make him wet, he slowly started to jerk the length that he couldn’t fit inside his mouth. He tried to relax his throat, pushing his mouth further onto Cas’ dick and swallowing around him. Cas thrust up sharply and Dean moaned at the feeling of his mouth being filled; it felt dirty for him to enjoy it but he didn’t care. He reached between his own legs to rub at his cock, needing some relief - he was so hard, it was painful.

Cas sounded broken above him; little cut-off moans and gasps spilling from his lips. Dean opened his eyes to look at him, to watch the pleasure written across his features.

“Dean, come here,” Cas begged, gripping Dean’s bicep and tugging until Dean reluctantly gave in, slowly pulling off his length with a obscene suck. Dean hovered above him again, aligning their hips and unashamed he rubbed his own arousal against Cas’. 

He captured his lips, kissing him until he felt dizzy; Cas panted into his mouth the entire time as his own hips met Dean’s pace as they rocked together. 

“I said I wanted to suck you,” the other man complained as he gently rolled them, pushing Dean back into the mattress, pinning him down by his wrists. Dean wanted to make a smart come back as their lips broke apart, but Cas latched on to his neck, sucking the skin in the exact place that turned Dean to jell-o, and his witty attempt was forgotten. He could do nothing but lay back and let himself be devoured by Cas’ lips.

“Mmmm.” Dean bucked his hips impatiently, feeling Cas smile against his skin. He was sinking into the sheets, consumed by the feeling of desire that was flowing from Cas’ fingers, from his lips. To feel so completely wanted by him was making a warm feeling bloom in his chest, spreading throughout him as Cas worked his way down his body, heightening his arousal. There seemed to be no pattern to what Cas was doing; he touched everywhere, kissed everywhere before he finally reached his goal, hovering above Dean’s throbbing dick. Cas’ breath ghosted over him and he twitched in need.

“Don’t tease me, baby,” he begged and Cas chuckled softly. Dean held his breath as he felt Cas’ large warm hand wrap around his length, and he arched into the touch, trying to make him move. He needed him to feel him, to feel more. The seconds stretched out as Cas started to lazily jerk him off, the movement too slow and the grip too gentle to really do much more than make him squirm. His cheeks flooded with heat as he realized Cas was ignoring his desires. He opened his eyes and peered down at him, failing to look annoyed despite his efforts. His mouth fell open in surprise as Cas’ eyes met his own and he watched him lean forward, licking a stripe up the length of his cock, blue eyes locked with his. He cried out softly in sweet relief as he finally felt Cas lips close over the sensitive head, sucking and pressing his tongue against the slit. 

“Fuck,” he breathed, a little bit taken back at how good it felt. Cas started lapping at his dick, giving the task his full attention, seemingly lost in the act. He was moaning hungrily as he sucked the swollen flesh and the sound tipped Dean ever closer to the edge. Cas steadily bobbed his head, his tongue dancing patterns against the underside and Dean breathed deep and tried to delay the inevitable. He didn’t want this feeling to end yet, but he was so fucking hard, he didn't think he would last much longer. 

Everything was wet, hot from Cas’ mouth but leaving cold trails in his wake against the burning skin. Dean’s hands buried themselves into the sheets, gripping at them as he tried to stop the sounds that were starting to tumble from his lips. He itched to grip Cas’ hair, bury his hands into those dark locks and fuck up harder into his mouth, but he resisted, settling for softly rolling his hips. 

Cas’ mouth left him for a moment, and a whimpered “Please,” fell from his lips as his hips shuddered, searching for the delicious heat again. Cas took pity on him and licked him again, root until the tip and back down again until he was tonguing his balls. Dean groaned loudly and quickly bit his lip. He spread his legs further, eager for more as Cas’ hand circled him again and started to jerk him properly for the first time that night. 

Cas tipped him dangerously close to the edge again and again, only to pull back at the last second. One second he was deep-throating him and making Dean’s toes curl and the next he was ravishing his neck, fingers playing with his nipples. His hands were everywhere and Dean’s skin was on fire, burning up with desire from the inside. Everything felt so fucking amazing. He wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore, he was desperate for release but also drowning in the attention. Before he realised what was happening, Cas’ tongue was sneaking down his perineum and he moaned embarrassingly loud, Cas pulled away and sat up alarmed, he clamped a hand over Dean’s mouth and shushed him. Dean snapped out of his daze and opened his eyes to look at Cas, confused why he was being silently chastised.

“Oh my God, Dean, be quiet,” Cas scolded, though he sounded more pleased than annoyed. Dean pulled Cas’ hand off him and then pushed it out of the way.

“I can’t fucking help it! Stop fucking teasing me then, I need to fucking come, you dick,” Dean growled. Cas grinned at him and, climbing into his lap, he fumbled for the duvet before pulling it over his shoulders to shelter him from the chill. 

Gripping Dean’s cock again he leaned forwards and captured his mouth. He worked him quickly with his hand, and twisting his hand slightly on each downward stroke. Dean’s stomach tensed and he tried to buck up into the touch but found himself pinned by Cas’ weight.

“Please, please, fuck, baby,” Dean begged. Nonsense fell from his lips, and Cas swallowed it all, each moan, every obscenity as their kiss deepened and Dean drew closer to the edge. With a reluctant sigh, Cas broke the kiss and let go of Dean’s aching, leaking erection. 

“Fuck, no. Please!” Dean’s voice was strained and broken as his lover drove him crazy with teasing. He tried to recapture Cas’ lips with his, but Cas avoided him, levelled him with a look before he spat into the palm of his own hand.

“You’re so fucking hot like this,” Cas groaned before recapturing the other boy’s lips, working his dick hard with his own fist, the touch now slick and exactly what Dean needed. Dean trembled as a knot of pleasure swelled in his stomach.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted, and ripped his lips away from Cas’, unable as he spiraled towards ecstasy. “Cas!” He bit sharply into Cas’ shoulder, trying to smother the high pitched moans as he lost complete control of his mouth. 

“Oh, fuck yes,” Cas groaned loudly, pushing towards Dean’s teeth, seemingly enjoying the pain. Dean felt his face flush further with embarrassment, he hadn’t meant to bite him, but he had felt a scream building. The other man squeezed his eyes tight. He gripped the base of Dean’s dick hard, enough to stop him coming and Dean cried out in frustration. 

“No, no, no, please?!” he begged. Cas let him go and sat up slowly, untangling himself from Dean and smiling wide and knowing at him. 

“That was freaking hot,” he said and then climbed off him completely.

“No, no, where are you going?!” he whined.

“Shhhh...” Cas stared at him as he pushed Dean’s knees up to his chest purposefully. Dean gulped thickly. Images of Cas working him open with his fingers, maybe even his tongue, swamped Dean’s mind, making him dizzy with possibilities. He had been so sure that Cas was going to lick him there earlier, and now he was completely sure that-

“Fuuuck…” he breathed deeply, and bit into his bottom lip. Cas was repeating his earlier actions, licking at sucking at Dean’s balls, gradually making his way down his perineum, sucking and swirling his tongue and making him tingle. He gripped his knees with his hands to give Cas better access. Dean groaned as his dick throbbed, fat pearls of pre-come dripping from it, he hoped he would make it to the main event, the anticipation was overwhelming. Every time that slick heat travelled further down to where he needed it he tensed and arched up, trying to silently urge Cas to just fucking lick him already. 

“Get on your stomach.” Dean shivered at the commanding tone of Cas’ voice. His heart was almost beating out of his chest as he rolled onto his stomach and hugged the pillow under his head, taking a deep breath to sooth his nerves.

Cas mouthed at the bottom of Dean’s spine, causing the man’s breath to hitch. He could feel himself being spread open by Cas’ strong hands and he widened his legs, breathing heavily into the pillow. Oh fuck, he felt a little delirious with need, the desire for this to actually happen. He wanted Cas, wanted his mouth licking inside his hole, sucking at it and making him wet.

“Just do it,” he demanded and gripped the pillow tighter. Cas let out a shaky exhale, his breath hot, making Dean’s hole flutter. He was so, so, close.

Nothing prepared him for how it felt; it was hot and slick and really soft as it pressed against him, but Dean could feel the uncertainty in the movement .

“Please, it’s okay, it’s okay, don’t stop!” He babbled, letting him know that yes, he really liked it, he could continue. He moaned in relief as Cas’ tongue started to press more instantly against him, giving him what he needed. Cas’ tongue was messy as he licked over him, pressing inside slightly and Dean found himself opening up without resistance. Cas pulled away and Dean felt his thumb trace down him, ghosting over his hole and making him twitch. Dean sighed.

"Look at this hole, looks so fucking good. Do you want me to give it a kiss, Dean?" he whispered, and Dean thought he might come there and then at the young man’s filthy mouth. Dean’s cheeks were flaming hot. “Dean?” Cas prompted.

"Yeah," he answered, a little ashamed at how much he wanted it, past caring how he sounded.

"Tell me,” Cas whispered again, lightly tracing his tongue around the blond’s entrance, refusing to dip back inside. Dean groaned, knowing Cas was getting off on this as much as he was; it was a little embarrassing but he needed him to carry on.

"P-please," he stuttered. “Kiss my hole." And Cas did. He pressed his lips around his pucker and kissed him sloppily, slowly licking and sucking at it like a dirty French kiss. Dean’s mind short circuited and he moaned deep, grinding himself against the other man’s face.

He found himself subconsciously moving, changing his position onto his knees and elbows, giving Cas better access. He felt so open and exposed and positively filthy as Cas licked his ass, but he didn’t care, his dick was hanging hard and heavy between his legs and he thought about touching it, but resisted the desire. He was curious if he could come like this alone, Cas lapping at him desperately. He wished he could go deeper, push inside him and rub against his sweet spot and make him come like that, seeing stars.

“Cas, baby?” he asked. “Lube… in the draw.” 

“Mmmm…” Cas panted against his skin. “Want me to finger you?” he mumbled as he slowly kissed his way up Dean’s spine until he was curled around him and kissing the back of his neck again. The older man nodded, unable to get his words out. He could feel Cas’ hard cock pressed against his ass and he rubbed against it shamelessly. Cas gasped behind him and thrust against him a few times, basking in the sensation. Dean felt the mattress dip to the left of him, the draw of the bedside cabinet was loud as it opened and Dean grinned into the pillow, knowing what was coming next.

Cas smeared the cold liquid over him, making him hiss and tense from the contrast in temperature. His friend’s fingers felt a lot different to his tongue, but it was a welcome change, firmer and more insistent as they pressed against him, dipping inside the barest amount and making him grind back into the touch.

“Is this okay?” Dean could hear the grin in his voice.

“Cas,” he sighed, tiring of his friend teasing so much. “Come on.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again, and Dean nodded. He was throbbing in anticipation; his dick was aching but it didn’t matter, he wanted nothing more than for Cas to fill him up. He remembered how the drag of his own fingers had felt as he thrust inside himself.

“Cas, just put your fucking fingers in my ass,” he hissed, desperately. Opening his legs wider, he ground his hips against the soft caress of Cas’ finger; the bastard was pressing too gently, teasing around him, spreading the lube and making him slick, but it wasn’t enough.

“Please!” he begged. “I want you inside.” Cas started pressing more firmly, his finger wet and smooth Dean sucked in a deep breath and gripped the pillow as he felt the intrusion, trying his best to relax as Cas stroked the palm of his hand up and down the length of Dean’s back. He buried his blushing face into the pillow, trying to muffle the little sounds he was making as Cas started to open him up.

Cas fingered him slowly, taking his time to open his lover up, until his palm was pressed flat against the plump flesh of the other man’s ass. Dean stilled beneath him, as he angled his hand, minutely circling it until... Dean let out the dirtiest, throatiest moan he had ever heard as his fingers brushed again his lover’s prostate and the blond pushed back, enthusiastically, trying to fuck himself on Cas’ hand, trying to hit that spot again. Cas picked up the pace gradually, keeping control of the situation and not letting Dean get his own way and become greedy, to take too much at once. 

“Cas,” he grunted as the dark haired boys fingers pressed against the sensitive spot again. “MORE.” He fucked back hard, impatient at the slow and steady pace Cas had set. He started to meet Dean half way, bending his finger in a way that pumped an insatiable desire through his body, it had him pushing back insistently until Cas gave in and quickened the pace.

Dean was a sobbing mess, his face pressed into the pillow and trying urgently to hold back the sounds coming from him. His chest was heaving, skin burning and perspiration trickling down his neck. His knees felt weak and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay in that position.

“More, please?” He begged again. Cas complies after a few minutes, pulling out and fumbling around again. He pressed a kiss to the base of Dean’s spine, before gently pressing two fingers back against his sensitive hole. He didn’t push in straight away but just teased him, rubbing at it and pressingly against the unresisting muscle outside. It felt considerably larger against him and Dean tried to push back again, needing the feeling he had been addicted to when fingering himself, of being stretched and feeling something large inside him.

When Cas finally pushed the two inside, he gave Dean time to adjust, but it wasn’t long before he was eagerly giving Dean what he wanted, soaking up the responses that he was giving him. Dean could tell by the way Cas was breathing heavy, petting across his skin and kissing across his ass until his tongue was teasing his stretched hole, catching his own fingers as they thrust inside. 

Dean can’t resist any longer, he awkwardly reached between his legs to grip his cock, it’s thick and throbbing in his hand and he jerked himself quickly. He mewled under the joint stimulation and fucked into his hand urgently, rocking back onto Cas’ fingers with every thrust of his hips. Touching his dick opens him up to a whole new set of sensations, he is slick with pre-come and is dangerously close to coming, but his ass is aching for more, begging to be filled. 

“Fuck, Cas, God,” he cursed. 

“Roll over,” Cas ordered him but gave him no chance. His hands left him quickly, and Dean gasped in surprise as Cas flipped him over, he bounced slightly on the mattress, suddenly laying face to face with his lover. They meet in the middle, both reaching for each other. Cas’ dick is still hard and pressing insistently into Dean’s hip, without hesitation his lips find Cas’ again. Cas kisses him hard, worked up from touching Dean and seeking release and he kisses him back with everything he has. Cas’ kiss was fierce, and Dean’s lips were oversensitive from the constant drag of the stubble on Cas’ face from their earlier kisses, but he wants more, he could never tire of that feeling.

When they pull apart, gasping for air, Dean licks over the mark he has left on Cas’ shoulder, feeling the indentations he had left with his teeth and Cas cried out. He reached down, his hand quickly finds Cas’ neglected dick and gripping the length, playing no games, he jerks him quickly. The noises he makes go straight to Dean’s cock, making him impossibly harder.

“Put your fingers in me, baby?” Dean breathed, he lifted his knee to try and expose himself and is pleased when Cas fumbles and his fingers are pressing back inside, fucking him harder now Dean is playing with his dick. Cas quickly becomes too loud, deep, raspy moans filling the room. Dean closed his mouth over him again to try and keep him quiet. Cas squirmed and made an annoyed noise, struggling to meet his intense kisses while he was being touched. His fingers shuddering and messily fucking him, a lot less precise than before but if anything, it was better that way, he could feel Cas losing control with every thrust.

“Harder, fuck me harder,” Dean begs. Cas moans filthily, his fingers still inside him, Dean’s hips buck and he cries out at the loss.

“Please,” Cas whimpers, pulling away to look at Dean; who looks completely debauched.

“What’s the matter, baby?”Dean pants, Cas just looks at him desperately. Dean gulps thickly and kisses him again, addicted. His mouth was so sweet.

“I can’t stop thinking about…” Cas gnawed at his bottom lip as he hesitated. 

“Anything… what do you need Cas? Let me make you feel good….” He answered and messily kissed down his neck, steadily making his way to his favourite spot on the junction between his collarbone and neck. He bit gently.

“I wanna fuck you…” Cas blurted out. Dean gasped and stopped in his tracks, his dick dangerously throbbing at Cas’ hushed confession, pleasure curls in his stomach. “Fuck, I want you so bad,” he whispered. “Wanna fuck your ass so bad, would you like that, Dean? Do you want my dick inside you?” he twists his fingers deliciously and fucks inside him deeper and harder than he had previously dared, Dean cried out loudly, unable to help himself and nods.

Dean rolls his hips provocatively. They come to life again, hips thrusting, voices gasping and hands trembling. Cas encourages him to jerk him, and Dean struggles to keep up after those words. He kisses Dean’s neck roughly, scratching his scruff across the sensitive skin and his fingers move again, scissoring inside him and making Dean’s dick wet.

Dean is breathing deeply, his heart hammering in his chest, completely assaulted by sensation and the words repeating in his mind.

“Fuck yes, please.” He opens his legs wider in invitation, and Cas pulls away to look into his eyes, his hand stilling. He looks shell-shocked at Dean’s answer and for a second he panics, worrying he was only saying it to try and get himself off, it wouldn’t be the first time.

“You’d let me?” he answers, and Dean almost sighs in relief. Cas voice is deep and scratchy, and Dean is convinced he has never heard it that way, so worked up and desperate.

“What, like I would say no?” he scoffed. Cas smiled and pets face and kissed him deeply, Dean could feel him tremble. “Are you scared?” he asked. Cas nodded slowly, but licks his lips.

“Terrified…” 

Before they knew what was happening, Cas was pulling his fingers out him again and hurriedly grabbing the lube. He scrambled between Dean’s legs and he pushes one up, he holds it in place behind his knee and slaps some of the liquid onto his ass and it makes Dean squeak from the cold. 

“Hey, I-“ Dean tries to protest from the rough treatment but Cas growls slightly and ravishes his neck, fingers playing over the rim of his ass and making him tingle. They kiss passionately, unable to resist the pull of attraction and lust, the excitement that was thrumming under their skin. Dean was so fucking hard at the thought, he couldn’t believe this was happening. Would he fuck him like he had dreamed, face to face hovering above him with Dean’s legs over his shoulders? Or would he do him from behind, hands digging into his hips as he slammed into him? 

His imagination flares to life behind his eyelids as Cas insistently pushes three fingers against his eager hole, Dean is surprised to find he is taking them like a pro and moans into Cas mouth like a whore.

“Fuck, I can’t believe… “ Cas was pulling away and petting his head gently, Dean relaxes further, letting his legs fall how Cas wants them, one bent on his chest and the other spread.

“Shut up and kiss me,” he growled and cradled the back of Castiel’s neck, pulling him on top of him properly and kissing him. Cas happily complied. He rubbed his dick against the back of Dean’s thigh, sticky and hot and Dean couldn’t get past the thought that something that large was going to be inside him, Castiel, was going to be inside him. 

“Say it…” Cas begged, “Wanna hear you say it….” Dean gulped thickly. Cas’ free hand was everywhere again, he palmed at his ass roughly, forcing Dean to thrust onto his fingers. “Come on, Dean.”

“Fuck me, please, I need it,” he whispered, trying to rub his cock against Cas’ stomach but he moved and left Dean frustrated. Cas moaned and rested his head against Dean’s shoulder.

“Dean,” he sounding as if he was begging for it, but Dean didn’t know how much clearer he could be about what he wanted.

“Do it, come on, fuck me now, I’m ready,” he hissed again, wiggling his hips and trying to get his point across. He could take more than three fingers, we wanted to feel the stretch, he knew it was going to be so fucking good.

"I don't..." Cas' hands were trembling. “Are you sure you're ready?” He breathed deeply as he hovered over him. His confident façade was starting to crack.

"Come here." Dean pulled him between his legs properly and let his feet come to rest on the mattress. Cas’ breath ghosted across his face. Dean stared at him and raised his knees. This was so different to anything he had experienced. It was kind of surreal. 

"It's okay," he breathed and kissed him sweetly. Dean wasn’t sure if Cas was talking more to himself or to Dean but it didn’t matter because he was trembling in anticipation, unable to look away from Cas who was staring down at him in awe. 

He felt his mouth open his surprise, the feeling he had been craving since he had first felt it, the blunt tip of Castiel’s dick pressing against him and teasing. He felt unbelievably hot and large and he scrambled to grab his hand, to satiate the need to feel impossibly closer to him. Their hands clasped tight and they leaned their heads together, their rapid breaths joining. 

“Do you have a- err…” Cas stuttered over the words for a few seconds before he realized what he was asking for. He nodded and silently sat up to reach into his open cabinet draw, he found the box quickly and held the small shiny object between them. Cas stared at it unsurely and Dean wondered if he knew how to use it. The moment was oddly sobering.

“Do you want me to do it?” Cas nodded quickly and looked relieved at his offer. He sat back onto his feet and Dean ripped the packet open with his teeth, he rolled it on and Cas pulled a face.

“It’s squeezing me,” he complained and Dean laughed at him, fondly.

“No-one likes ‘em, Cas, now quit your bitching.” Cas fell quiet and pushed Dean onto his back. They didn’t speak, instead they shared a gentle but intense look. Cas pressed against him so gently, hardly pushing inside at all but it still felt like so much. Dean felt a hand fiddle between his legs; Cas had grabbed himself and lined up properly to press inside. He paused, waiting for confirmation and Dean kissed his jaw.

This is fine, it’s okay. He could do this.

"Are you sure?" He whispered breathlessly. 

“Slowly, just – I’m okay…" Dean reassured him. He was speechless. This felt like such a huge moment in his life, nothing would ever be more important than this moment, right now, sharing himself with Cas. 

"Dean." He gasped and kissed him deeply; trying conveying everything he was feeling into it. He shifted his position slightly and started to press inside. Dean sucked in a deep breath. It was intense. Not just physically, the sensation if being stretched and filled but emotionally too. The way Cas was looking at him, like he could see right inside him. Cas let go of his hand and gripped the back of his leg instead, hiking it up higher and opening him up further. It was so much ready but he kept on pushing.

“Relax,” Cas whispered soothingly and Dean took a deep breath. He was trying his best but it was so big. He lay still, trying to calm his rapid breath, to hold back the surprised gasps that slipped out of him with every gentle thrust of Cas' hips. It burned a little but the lubrication made it feel smooth; it was by far the strangest feeling Dean had ever experienced, but Cas was filling him up and touching him in all the right places and it was a fight to keep still. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he was pressed inside completely. Dean wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he knew he needed Cas to move and soon. Cas was gently grinding his hips against him, unable to keep still. "Fuck, I- " His eyes fell shut and his face twisted in pleasure, he took a few deep, shuddering breaths. "I don't- this is..." Cas curled closer around him and fumbles for his hand, Dean grips it tight.

For few moments they lay together, soaking up all the new sensations. Dean was over powered. Every time Cas shifted the smallest amount, sparks of pleasure curled inside his stomach, deep, deep inside him, and stronger than anything he had ever felt before. Cas' dick was pressed against his prostate, the sweet place that made him squirm and gasp and ache for more.

"You feel so tight, so hot, I-"

"Just move, fuck!" He gasped and rolled his hips, trying to force him to do something, anything, to give him more. Cas licked his lips and slowly started to move, his movement a little robotic as he tried to get used to it. 

"Is this okay?" He whispered. Dean squirmed, Cas was treating him like he would break. He could take it.

"Yeah, yeah, I-“ He stuttered, he didn’t want to discourage him, he wasn’t sure the best way to say it – so he just said it. “I'm not a girl, now move!" Dean complained, whining. Cas kissed his ear in response, seemingly not offended and circled his hips evilly, pressing insistently against Dean's sweet spot and making him arch and circle his legs behind his friends back. Yes, this is what he wanted, what he had needed. Cas started to move; hesitant at first, short and slow thrusts until he grew more confident, his hips soon hitting the back of Dean's thighs sharply and his balls slapping against his ass, Dean was surprised to find he liked it. He met his thrusts the best he could, trying to push back and meet him half way but it was difficult, in the end he let himself be taken care of and get lost in the feeling.

The slide of Cas' dick inside his ass was as addictive as he knew it would be, the drag against sensitive muscles delicious and he wondered why they hadn't done this sooner. 

"Fuck," he breathed, biting into his lip and trying to stay quiet. It was hard with Cas rocking inside him, the mattress moving with them, the sounds the other man was making; a lot of little things contributed to the experience, to how turned on he was, how his body was buzzing with pleasure.

Cas sat up slowly, pulling Dean's ass into his lap, dick still inside him. He let himself be moved, subtly helping arrange himself, there was something thrilling about this, letting himself submit to Cas' will. Cas gripped the top of his thighs, tucking Dean's legs against him; it dramatically changed the angle and Dean writhed under him, frantically grabbing a pillow and holding it over his face to muffle the unstoppable sounds.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop, don't stop," he chanted. He could feel his balls tighten; he was already far past the pleasure of any orgasm he had ever experienced. Being fucked was so much more that he had imagined, it was as if he had already tipped over the edge, but he was being pushed higher and higher, Cas hitting his prostate with a precision that was tearing his self control to pieces. He felt desperate-

"Dean, fuck..." Cas slowed down suddenly, fucking him slow and deep, pulling all the way out and then gently pushing inside until he was balls deep. He sighed and then ran his hands over the flexing muscles of Dean's stomach.

“Mmmm,” Dean groaned and leant into the touch. Dean reached down to his dick, he skimmed his hand over the swollen flesh and held back a whimper. He hesitated, wanting to last a long as possible and make this good for Cas as well but he couldn't hold on anymore. 

"Please, let me come, I need it," he whimpered, his voice was muffled from where he hugged the pillow. His hand ghosted over the wet head of his cock, his thumb running along the slit. Cas moaned obscenely, picking up his pace and answering him with his actions, his hips snapped forwards hard, no longer controlled but feverish. He finally gripped his dick, wanking the sensitive length two, three, four times before he felt himself drowning in pleasure, the combination of Cas inside him and touching himself becoming too much. His breath hitched and high pitched broken moan fell from him. Cas became relentless at the sound, fucking him hard, the air was forced out of Dean's lungs and he threw the pillow to floor and blindly groped to try grab Cas. 

"Kiss me, I'm gunna- I'm gunna- kiss me..." he let go of his cock as his body tensed, colour exploding behind his eyelids as he came, ass spasming around Cas and come painting his stomach. Cas' mouth covered his own and he stilled, burying himself deep. Dean cried out as he felt a throb deep inside him, he dropped his legs and used his feet push against the mattress, to try and ride the feeling. It was so, so fucking good. There was a loud humming in his ears and everything around him had stopped. Cas' lips were ravishing him but he couldn't meet the kiss, it was all too much. He held onto the feeling until it gradually ebbed away, and he lay an tried to catch his breath. 

Cas' warmth left him too quickly and he was dragged harshly back into reality as he was suddenly empty, there was a phantom feeling of Cas still being inside him but it wasn't the same. In fact, it was strange and Dean quickly realized it was his least favourite part of his venture into gay sex.

He opened his eyes and found Cas immediately, he was stood staring at him, a small smile on his face and handing him a box of tissues kindly.

"Was that... Was I too rough?" Dean shook his head but winced slightly, a deep ache settling at the bottom of his back and his stomach as he moved. Cas' face fell. He ached all over, in a way it was a good ache but he hadn't been expecting it. 

"No, I'm fine, I didn't realise... I promise it was amazing." Dean was quick to reassure because Cas looked unsure, he felt a bit guilty that he didn’t have more energy to try and explain. He was suddenly so tired. He glanced towards the phones on the bedside cabinet and he wondered what time it was. He didn’t have a clue how much time had passed, it could have been ten minutes or two hours.

“Sorry,” Cas said and cleared his throat. He hovered awkwardly at the edge of the bed, Dean didn’t want him to be awkward. He held out his hand and squeezed Cas’ when he gripped it. They smiled at each other.

“Don’t be,” he meant it. Dean let go and sat up onto his elbows and gratefully accepted the tissues that Cas handed him. He cleaned himself down with as much dignity as he could muster and threw the tissues them towards the bin, he missed. Cas found Dean’s clothes and handed them to him, they both redressed.

“Come here,” Dean whispered. They straightened the duvet again and met underneath, Dean shifted uncomfortably as he tried to settle the ache his stomach. He soon relaxed and concentrated on ignoring it.

They held each other close, they didn’t speak and Dean was finding it hard to stay awake. He knew he should be feeling a lot of things right now, and he was, he was just too sleepy to process it all. Everything was okay, it was good. He was safe with Cas and he was happy.

“Are you sure that was okay?” Cas’ nervous voice broke the silence.

“I love you,” he murmured in response and buried his face into his chest. Cas’ breath caught at the words and he felt him kiss his head. He hummed in delight.

“I love you,” he replied. “Sorry I was rough, I should have been more considerate our first time.” Cas was petting down his back and it was soothing.

“No, no, I wanted it that way,” he weakly protested, still talking against his best friends chest. “You were perfect... Just make me breakfast and all’s forgiven.” He smiled.

“Does that mean you’ll make me breakfast when I bottom?” Dean nodded weakly and they fell silent again. He was just drifting to sleep when a thought passed his mind. He wasn’t going to say anything but he thought he might as well ask before he lost his nerve.

“Was erm, was it okay for you? I mean, did I feel okay? It wasn’t weird, right?” He didn’t like the thought that Cas hadn’t enjoyed it, or that he hadn’t actually enjoyed topping, maybe Dean’s ass felt strange or he had done something wrong? Thinking about it, he had been kind whiney and squirmed too much and had been really, really demanding. Why had he been like that? God, what if-

“Fuck, no, it was great, thanks for letting me do that.” Dean smiled, instantly relieved.

“Cas, you don’t thank people for sex…” he laughed.

“I can say whatever I want, if I want to thank my boyfriend for sex then I will.” Dean grinned and snuggled, tangling their legs together. Boyfriend? His mind whizzed with excitement, he didn’t know what to say.

He settled on saying, “I love you,” and tried to pull Cas even closer.


	40. Chapter Sixteen Part One

The next morning, as promised, Dean woke up to breakfast; it was a hell of a lot earlier than he would have liked, though all was forgiven at the smell of bacon, eggs and strong coffee. Castiel placed a tray on his bedside cabinet, blushing the entire time and avoiding Dean’s eye. He found it endearing that the other man didn't quite know how to act after what had happened the night before. He watched him busy around the room, opening the curtains and tidying around, willing to do anything than have to talk to Dean.

Dean’s stomach twisted, unsure about Cas’ actions, was he unhappy that they had sex? He tried to think about it logically before he over reacted, he had a tendency to do that. He watched him for a few moments as he tried to make order of his own chaotic thoughts. Cas couldn’t be regretting it. He didn’t look unhappy, he looked... worried, embarrassed? 

He thought back to the first time he had sex, he tried to remember how he felt, but he couldn’t. He hadn’t really stuck around long enough, he’d been kicked out of bed practically seconds after it had happened and then he had been dumped a week later. That had been disappointing... he still didn’t know what he had done wrong. He scolded himself at his thoughts, always back to freaking Cassie, he needed to get the hell over that. Besides, Cas was not like that at all, he was still here and was tidying his room for goodness sakes, he had made him breakfast, he probably just needed a bit of reassurance, that’s all. He was shy.

"Good morning," he grinned, his voice taking on a teasing tone, feeling optimistic. It had the desired effect, Cas paused as he placed a pile of dirty laundry on the chair, his cheeks flushed hard as he finally met his eyes. 

Dean sat up, leaning back against the headboard, relieved to feel the deep ache that has resided in his back and stomach last night was gone.

"Good morning, Dean. I made you breakfast, I hope it's satisfactory." His words were formal but he sounded timid. Dean didn’t reply, a cheeky grin remained on his face and Cas took it as a good sign because he climbed on the bed. He was still dressed in his clothes from the night before, his hair mussed and legs bare. Dean placed a hand on his friend’s knee and stroked across his skin, he played with the soft hair as he slowly rubbed up his thigh. He squeezed the muscle gently before he let go.

“Are you okay?” Cas nodded, quick to confirm.

“I just...” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, cheeks still flaming. He broke their eye contact and looked down. 

"Why are you so shy?” he asked, Cas gave a small shrug. “... are you happy?” Cas smiled and gnawed his lip bashfully, he determinedly played with the edge of the duvet. 

“I’m... a little surprised with what happened, I always thought I’d feel different after, but everything is the same.” Dean frowned, what was he trying to say? He tried not to feel hurt by his words. “It’s stupid, I can’t explain what I mean.” He blushed further but his eyes were smiling. Dean shook his head, also unsure but wanting him to explain, he smiled at him encouragingly. “Well, I thought I might look different, like somehow it would change me, and people would know that I’m not a virgin anymore.” Ah, now that made sense, he had thought the same thing before he realised that it was stupid. 

Dean snorted, “It doesn’t work that way, no-one will know unless you tell them.”

“I know that, I’m just really happy and I don’t even have anyone I can tell. It just sucks that it has to be a secret.” Dean pouted unintentionally; he didn’t want Cas to feel that way, and though he didn’t need to tell anyone, he could understand where he was coming from. “I don’t mean it in a bad way. I love you, that’s all.”

“Come here, gorgeous.” Dean told him, opening his arms in invitation. Cas hesitated, so he grabbed him and pulled him forwards, fingers dancing across his sides and making him explode into giggles.

"No, Dean! Stop it!" he squealed, trying to escape his grasp.

"Never!" he laughed, and pinned him to the bed. Cas wriggled underneath Dean's hands, trying his best to move out of the grasp. "Dean, please, I'm gonna wet myself!" he squeaked, and finally rolled out of his grasp and fell off the bed with a thump. 

"Jerk!" he laughed.

"Well, I had to break the ice somehow," he shrugged. Cas looked relaxed so he didn’t care he had done something so childish.

“I guess... how are you feeling anyway?” He didn’t need to explain what he was talking about. Dean tried not to look uncomfortable at the reminder. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond, maybe Cas would understand? After all, he had done things to himself before, he wasn’t an idiot.

“I’m okay, I ache a bit but nothing a bath can’t fix,” he answered, choosing his words carefully, he didn’t want to say anything embarrassing, it was a delicate subject.

“Would you like me make you one?” he asked, looking eager to please him. Dean was oddly touched by the nice gesture, he obviously was aware about how he was really feeling, the seriously strange sensation he was trying to ignore in his lower region.

“Um, sure, that would be nice.” Castiel smiled at him sweetly.

“Have your breakfast and then I’ll do it for you.” Well, he couldn’t argue with that. He nodded and settled back against the headboard. He grabbed his tray of food and started to tuck in. It was times like this that Cas was heaven-sent.

“So, what time is it anyway? Are Bobby and Sam home?” he asked around a mouthful of bacon.

“Bobby just left, Sam’s downstairs. I find it necessary to tell you that he awkwardly avoided me all morning, giggled and then Bobby slapped his head. He gave me a high-five.” Dean almost choked on a mouthful of his coffee, he gulped thickly and coughed.

“Who Sam?” he blurted out, once he was sure he wasn’t going to choke.

“No, Bobby,” Cas said, he face deadly serious. Well, that was embarrassing, why did these things always happen to him?

“Fuck it,” he cursed, they always got caught, he didn’t know why he was surprised anymore. The other man smiled awkwardly and looked like he was trying not to find it amusing, he shrugged one of his shoulders.

“Could have been worse,” he grinned. “We could have been caught at my house.” Thank God, for small miracles.

*

Dean sank down into the bubbles, the water heated his sore muscles and soothed the ache. His head wasn’t a problem at all, he was over the worst of his concussion which he was really grateful for, though Cas had insisted he still take his painkillers after he had finished his breakfast this morning. The other man had left ten minutes ago to take Sam to school, and Dean had waited in his room until they had left. He didn’t want it to seem like he was avoiding Sam... but he was avoiding Sam. He couldn’t be bothered with all the teasing. He should feel guilty leaving Cas to handle it but he didn’t seem so bothered about it.

Sex with Castiel was different than what he expected, he had acted on an instinct he wasn’t aware he had, it was like he was a different person. It was amazing to just let go, be taken care of, to submit and trust Cas completely. He was excited to repeat the experience. As he washed himself, he let his fingers stroke over the slightly swollen flesh between his legs, curious. He wasn’t sore, but touching it made him jump, it was a lot different to Cas’ touch. He smiled to himself, hardly believing that he had actually had full blown, guy on guy, penetrative sex. It was kind of mind boggling, just a few months ago he had thought he was straight. That didn’t matter, none of that mattered. The way Cas had looked at him, complete admiration and awe sketched across his handsome features. Nobody had ever looked at him that way, it made him unbelievably happy and that was what mattered. 

*

The next couple of days passed in a blur of movies, hot mugs of chocolate on the couch and plenty of time with Cas. The other man was sweet and it was surprising how quickly he settled into their family life, it wasn't long before Dean forgot he wasn't supposed to be there and that there would be consequences for his best friend's actions. They talked about it late into the night on Wednesday, Dean didn't want him to leave, having grown closer to him over the past few days, but he knew it was necessary. He tried to breach the subject gently. He had noticed Cas' cell had rang a lot today, Michael’s name tallying on the home screen every time he ignored it. He trusted that Gabriel and Alfie were keeping quiet about where Cas was, but that didn’t mean that Anna would not stay quiet or Michael for that matter.

"So, erm, what are you going to say when you go home?" It was gone midnight, the two snuggled close in bed, Cas' head resting on Dean's chest and their fingers intertwined. Cas didn’t answer straight away but he didn’t push it, he could already feel the other man tense at the mention of his family.

"I'm not sure," he whispered back. "Gabriel insists that mom and dad are oblivious and they haven't said anything to me when I've snuck in..." he paused. "Proves how much they love me," he scoffed, becoming bitter.

"That's not true!" Dean squeezed him tighter, hoping to bring comfort. "They love you, very much." It did seem unlikely that his parents had not noticed he was gone; he hadn't slept at home for three nights now. He disappeared early each morning and collected his siblings, so Dean guessed his parents had seen him then. Wouldn't they have mentioned something to him then about his empty bed? And this was a guy whose idea of getting out the house was going to the local library or to a bible class. "I hate to say it, but are you sure they haven't noticed? I just don't get it," he thought out loud.

Cas sighed loudly. "It only proves that they only pay attention to me when they need a babysitter. It is not unlikely, Gabriel has done a good job covering for me. Apparently they asked him where I was Tuesday night and he told them I was studying for exams and that was the end of it, they didn't mention it to me in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

"Dean, it is unsuspicious; my car remains in the drive, and due to their work times they believe I have gone to school, returned and I am in my room. As far as I know the school hasn't rang them either." Dean still didn't understand how he had managed to convince the offices not to call his parents, the school must really, really trust Cas. 

"...and what about Anna and Michael? I erm, I noticed he called you today." He hadn't been nosy, it was on the table beside him and was flashing insistently on silent all day.

"I'm trying to forget about him, I am anxious for our next meeting, I don’t want any more confrontation. He's so fucking horrible and I can't be bothered to listen to him, I won't allow myself to be manipulated any more. He is a selfish and unkind person; I’m not going down without a fight any more. You mean too much for me to give up easily." Dean was touched by the words, still adjusting to their new open and honest conversations, though it was refreshing to hear all the things that he hadn't been told before, that he had never been given the chance to understand.  
"I wouldn't expect you to, you deserve better than that," he answered, placing a kiss to the top of his friend's head. "I just don't get why he hasn't ratted you in, he must have noticed." Cas shrugged and fiddled with Dean's shirt under the duvet. It was a little distracting but he was determined to stay on the subject. "Alfie told me he comes to your room to argue with you, is that why there was a chair against your door? Does he do that often?" It was clear that Cas was terrified of Michael, and Dean had not forgotten about that chair, he had been so worried about it and now that his concussion was clear, Cas was at the front of his mind again, not their argument. 

"He's not there, he left on Monday, he only comes back at the weekends sometimes." Dean was confused, he had assumed he was there and that was one of the reasons Cas had wanted to stay here to look after him, maybe had was feeling guilty, that's all. He was aware Cas had chosen not to answer his question but he left it for now, he didn't want to upset him.

"So why has he been calling all day?"

"I have no idea, that's what I’m worried about."

*

They parted reluctantly at the door just before six o’clock on Thursday, Dean offered him a ride home but he politely declined. It was the quietest and most withdrawn Cas had been since he had stayed over. Dean was sorry to see him go.

"I really don't mind dropping you off." They were stood on the door step, hands locked together, both unwilling to let go.

"It's fine," he breathed deeply and looked the floor. 

"Cas, it's freezing!" he complained, trying to convince him.

"I have my trusty trench coat," he tried to reassure him, Dean wasn't convinced.

"I could do with the fresh air, a walk would do me some good." Dean wanted to say more, not quite ready to say goodbye but he fell silent.

At that moment Bobby pulled up in the drive in his work truck, Dean took a step back and let go of Cas' hands. He had only just realized where they were stood; they shouldn't be holding hands were anyone could see them. What were they thinking? They had grown too comfortable in the past days. The younger man had drawn a similar conclusion, Dean could tell by his newly closed off body language. Dean hugged his arms around himself self-consciously, awkwardly stood in his pajamas.

"Hey, boys!" Bobby greeted and came to join them on the steps "Going somewhere?" he asked.

"Erm, yes." Cas cleared his throat and turned to Bobby with his hand extended. "Thank you for letting me stay, it was a pleasure and you made me feel so welcome. Unfortunately, I have to go home and get grounded until I'm twenty-one now." Bobby shook his hand, gripping it tight and then reached out with his other hand to pat him on the shoulder.

"Anytime, just don't forget we're here. I appreciate you're going through a rough patch at home," Cas nodded, smiling. "and thank you, for looking after Dean." Bobby smiled at him warmly before releasing his grip. "If it makes it any easier, I could give you a ride home and have a word with your parents, clear a few things up? I am partly to blame, I let-" Cas glanced at Dean and looked alarmed.

"Bobby, he's eighteen, he doesn’t need you treating him like a kid," Dean interrupted.

"Thank you, but I'll be okay." Bobby frowned but didn't comment, he nodded slowly. 

"Well, don't be shy, Dean smiles more when you're around." Cas grinned and nudged Dean playfully with his elbow.

"Bobby!" Dean protested and felt his cheeks burn. Bobby chuckled and stepped inside, leaving the door open.

Cas left soon after, promising to text him as soon as he got home.

*  
"So, are you two like a thing now?" Bobby and Dean were stood in the kitchen side by side, clearing up the mess from dinner. It had been quiet and strange event without Cas sat next to him. Bobby handed him a wet plate and he gripped it firmly with the towel as he dried it, he placed it with the rest in the open cupboard. 

"Yeah, uh..." They hadn't really cleared that up. There had been so much going on! He was definitely going to hold Cas to his words, he didn't care if he changed his mind, he would just have to win him over again."Things are good. He called me his boyfriend, that seems to be the direction we're taking things so I guess I'll see what happens."

"Maybe you should talk about it? You shouldn’t go head first into these things. You’ve been confused since you met this kid; maybe it’s time to clear this all up." Bobby replied, sounding sincere. They carried on in a thoughtful silence until all the dishes were done. 

“Yeah, I think I will... erm, thanks, Bobby.”

“Anytime....” He wiped the sides down, looking more like he was procrastinating than actually cleaning. Dean was just about to bolt for the door but Bobby noticed and spoke, “While you’re here, there are just a few things I wanted to talk to you about, if that’s okay?” Dean had a feeling he was going to talk with or without his consent. He cringed internally at what was to come, what the hell? He had been hoping Bobby wouldn’t mention it. He was already growing embarrassed. He nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to get out of this one. 

“Okay,” he mumbled, talking to the floor.

“Firstly, I think it’s really cool that you and Castiel are comfortable and are in love or whatever-” Dean flushed and nodded. “-but try and keep it down, Sam doesn’t need to hear you guys. Seriously. If you can’t, then at least wait until we’re out the house or play some music or something, hell, gag him for all I care!” Dean’s eyes widened and he spluttered, about to defend the two of them until he realised it was him that they had heard, not Cas. He snapped his jaw shut and remained silent. He hoped this conversation would be over soon. “Four am humping sessions are not appropriate. And while we’re on the subject I bought you some things....” He reached into the cupboard under the sink, he pulled out a paper bag and thrust it into Dean’s arms. Dean dared to look down and regretted it, seeing several boxes of condoms, something that looked like a bunch of leaflets, and a few things he did not recognise. He had already seen enough, he looked away.

“Bobby, I don’t need this stuff, we’re being safe so can we please just skip the lecture.” He groaned, resisting the urge to cover his face. 

“Just let me talk, this is embarrassing for me too, alright, but while you’re under my roof I gotta take care of you. Are you gonna listen?” Dean sighed and nodded slowly, he just wanted this to be over and done with. He hugged the bag to his chest and tried to avoid looking at his uncle. “I drove up to the health clinic. I know I’m not your dad and I’m probably over stepping my place but I want you to read the pamphlets, use the stuff, everything you need is in there. The lady insisted I buy tests or something, STD’s or whatever, to make sure you’re clean. I can’t make you do them but there’s one for the both of you. Can we forget this ever happened now, and go back to normal? I learned way more than I ever needed to know about gay men...” Dean let out a sigh of relief. Bobby grinned, looking a lot less uncomfortable.

“Sure, that makes things much less awkward,” he laughed. 

“So, was this completely inappropriate or am I doing okay?” Sometimes Dean forgot that Bobby had never had kids, that this was his first and only attempt at parenting and he often had no idea what he was doing. 

“Bobby, it was completely humiliating, but I think that’s how it’s supposed to feel,” he forced a laugh. “The thought was there, I guess it’s because you care, or whatever.” Bobby nodded.

“I just want you to be happy, Dean,” he insisted.

"You know, I really am happy.” Dean said after a while. “And thanks, for being so cool about this Cas thing... letting him stay and stuff.”

“He didn’t as much ask as tell me, I wouldn’t have said no anyway. He’s a strange kid but he’s got a heart of gold... but this thing at home, Dean, what’s going on? Kid shows up all hours of the night crying, he wants to stay here for days at a time. It makes me worry...” he trailed off. Dean stared at him, astounded at how much Bobby cared.

“Well, what did you tell you?” Cas has told him he had talked to Bobby on Tuesday, but he didn’t know what was said, he had been high as a kite at the time, and if Cas had told him he didn’t remember now. He was a private person, he wasn’t sure what to tell Bobby but he didn’t want to lie to him either.

“Not really, told me about what happened when he pushed you out the car and that you argued. When I asked what about he said he was having trouble at home because he was trying to cover up he was gay, he seemed really torn up about it. I didn’t know what to say. Look, Dean, I just need to know that he’s not getting knocked around or-”

Dean gasped. “Fuck, no! Bobby, what?!” How could he even think that?

“Are you sure?” he pushed, stepping into Dean’s space and making him really uncomfortable. “You can tell me things.”

“I think I would have noticed, there would be bruises or something!” he snapped, starting to panic, an image of that chair pressed against Cas’ door coming straight to mind. “He just hates being at home, it’s a bad atmosphere for him, Michael’s being a homophobic blackmailing dick but it’s not anything like that!” This was the first time in weeks that Dean did not want to have a conversation with Bobby, this was really something he didn’t want to think about. Sex talks he could handle, but what he was insinuating was too close to home and he didn’t want to hear it.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. Just promise you’ll tell me if it gets too bad.” Dean nodded slowly and tried to think of an excuse so he could bolt. He found one straight away, Cas had told him he would call but that was over two hours ago. He hoped he wasn’t arguing with his parents. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and glanced down at the screen.

“I’m okay, I’m just gonna go and call Cas, thanks for the clinic stuff.” He walked off before Bobby could protest. 

The phone rang for a few seconds before there was an answer.

“Sorry, I thought you we’re Michael again.” Dean didn’t answer straight away but ran up to his room so he could talk to his friend in private. He dropped the paper bag on the floor, the contents far from his mind. It was a relief to hear Cas’ voice and know he was safe. Bobby had startled him talking about such horrible things. He really, really did not trust Michael around the other man. 

“Is he still calling?” He was worried, why was he calling so much? Cas sighed loudly, his breath making the phone rattle.

“Yeah, I... I’m not at home, I can’t bear to face him. What if I’m wrong and he’s there? Dean, I’m going to get in so much trouble.” He felt guilty, he would be a jerk if he didn’t, he was the reason why Cas had skipped school for three days. 

“Where are you? Cas, it’s gone eight, have you been out in the cold all of this time?” Cas groaned loudly in frustration. 

“I don’t want to go back, they hate me there,” he argued, sounding pretty pissed off all of a sudden.

“Look, you can’t stay out in the cold all night!” he shot back. “You can either go home and get it over with, or you tell me where you are right now, so I can come and get you,” Dean demanded, his voice raising. He hated the idea that Cas didn’t want to go home so badly that he had been wondering around by himself for two hours. It did nothing to comfort or reassure him Cas was safe. He needed to know he was okay.

The line went silent.

“Fine, I’ll go home. You’re right, I can’t avoid it forever.”

“It’ll be okay.” He was trying to be positive for his boyfriend’s sake, he was sure it wasn’t going to be okay and that Cas would properly call him crying later. But right now that’s what he needed to hear. All he could do was support him and make sure he left his phone on loud.

*  
Dean's optimism was short lived, he arrived in school to see Cas' space in the car park empty, which was unusual as it was already eight-thirty and the other man sometimes arrived as early as seven-fifteen.

He tried not to worry about it as the first bell rang and he ran to his home room. Cas had not called him back last night, he had stayed awake until gone midnight waiting, he had called several times but it was just ringing continuously. He put it down to the phone still being on silent and that Cas must have fell asleep. He had an uncomfortable rest, his bed felt too large and too cold without Cas wrapped around him. 

He kept an eye out for his boyfriend all day, they didn't share any lessons on a Thursday so he had to wait until break before he could search him out properly. It was difficult, people kept stopping him and asking if he was feeling any better any better, it was strange, he didn't know half of them! It also didn't help that Cas seemed to have started a trench coat-trend unintentionally, black and beige for the boys and bright colours for the girls. It was a pain in the ass. He looked for so long that he had no choice but to give up as the bell sounded signalling the end of break.

He was lining up to get into his English class when his phone vibrated in his jeans.

Cas  
Received 11.13  
Meet me in toilets by library. Come now? X

 

Dean frowned at the message, wondering what the hell was going in. Was Cas skipping a lesson? He had just missed three days of school so something must be wrong. He tried to sneak off without being noticed by his classmates. He just about made as his teacher started shooing them inside as he slipped around the corner. He raced to the library slowing down to a casual walk every time he passed a classroom. Cas was inside the bathroom as promised, he heard him sniffling as he stepped inside and then go silent as the door banged shut behind him.

"Cas?" he called out. There was only one cubical closed so he started to approach it slowly. As soon as his voice echoed around the small room, Cas opened the door and stepped out in one long stride and straight into Dean's arms. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the upset man and pull his warm body closer. He kissed the side of his head. 

He wanted to ask what was wrong but he decided it was probably one of those moments when he should just listen instead of opening his mouth. He held him tight, picking him up in one swift movement and holding him securely. Cas didn't resist but buried his face into Dean's shirt and soaked him with his silent tears. He carried him back into the cubical and kicked the door shut with his foot.

"Shhh... it's okay," he consoled and slowly let himself sink to the floor, Cas wrapped around and sat on his lap. He rocked him back and forth slowly, not knowing what else to do but knowing it was always a comfort to Sam. Sobs racked through him, and he hiccupped against his shoulder. Dean muttered reassuring words to him until he finally quiet ended down, they fell still.

"I'm sorry," Cas muttered, his voice was quiet and gloomy, but his grip stayed tight.

"What for?" he asked calmly. Cas shrugged against him an then tentatively pulled away, his eyes downcast in defeat. Dean's heart ached to see him this way. It was sad that Cas looked so beautiful in such a dark and depressed mood, his face was pale from worry but his cheeks flushed and wet, his eyes shining with tears.

He reached above him to the tissue dispenser and grabbed a handful for his friend, he patiently waited for him to answer. 

"I'm not sure, I just thought it was appropriate to say after crying on you, I wet your shirt."

"Cas, you-" he sighed and grabbed his hands, leaning his back against the wall so he could hold them in the space in his lap. "That doesn't matter, I don't care about my shirt. I just need to know what's happened, I wanna be there for you... thanks for texting me when you needed me. I hate the thought of you crying in here by yourself." 

“You worry too much,” he sighed, took a deep breath and then wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. “I’m okay, I’m not even upset, I’m frustrated, and I ended up annoying myself more by crying and so I cry more. It is a vicious cycle,” he explained.

“Well, what’s annoyed you? What happened last night? You said you would call....” He didn’t want to make a big deal over it, but he couldn’t help him if he didn’t know.

“I went home, things we’re crap, Dad screamed and Mom cried. The stupid thing is, that if I had just gone home when I left yours, they would have been none the wiser.”

“Do they know you skipped school?”

“No, thankfully. They only clocked it as I got home, I walked into my room to find them sat on my bed. I’m rubbish at lying so I just nodded along. What else was I supposed to do?”

“So what did they say? You’re grounded or something?” Cas sniffled and leaned against him again.

“They took my car keys and my phone, the only reason I can text you is because Gabriel and Samandriel teamed up to steal my sim card back.” To be honest, Dean was not surprised. “So I had to wait until I could get away from Anna. She’s under instruction to make sure I behave and is watching me like a hawk. I could only get away from her because she has gym now. I have Gabriel’s phone so I can contact you but he needs it back.”

“So what happens now?” He wasn’t sure what this meant for them. If Cas was grounded, then he wasn’t sure when he would see him. Would Anna continue to make things difficult or would she turn a blind eye? She didn’t seem like the kind of girl who would ignore her parent’s wishes, yes, she snuck out sometimes, but who didn’t? Dean wasn’t sure she was reliable, she wouldn’t only be interested in helping Cas if it benefited her, which it didn’t. He didn’t say any of this, voicing his bad opinion of Anna would only make Cas’ mood worse.

“I’m not really sure, I promised myself I would do things that made me happy from now on. You only live once right?” Dean nodded and listened as Cas started to ramble on, he stumbled over some of his words and was trying to make sense of all of this thoughts. He talked more to himself that Dean and after a while he slowly fell silent, content to just be held by his best friend. “You love me, right?” he asked, pulling away to look at Dean properly.

“Right,” he answered, not missing a beat. He kind of wondered where this was going.

“Well, my dad doesn’t know I stayed at your house. In fact, they don’t suspect you at all! They would never find where I disappear to without asking around, and somehow I don’t get the feeling that they would.”

“What, so they think you have a girlfriend or something?” Cas nodded in response.

“Yes, the same girl I was scolded about before, you know, the one who gave me love-bites.” A hint of a smile played across his lips.

“Yeah, I know the one... look, Cas, I don’t want to force you to do anything that you don’t want to. If you want to lay low for a while then maybe things will blow over. But, I would be really happy to keep seeing you. I would really miss you.” Cas eyes softened, and he smiled.

“I would miss you as well, I feel we are much closer since we slept together and the fact we are together now, it’s what’s keeping me going at the moment. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, you are so understanding and you always give me choices, respect me. I am very lucky to have you, Dean.”

“Well, of course I respect you!” Cas smiled, he still looked sad but he was in a much better state than when Dean had first seen him.

“What do you think I should do?” Dean felt he wasn’t really the best person to ask advice from, he didn’t want to say something and then make the situation worse. 

“Just, take it a day at a time, Cas. Maybe they’ll forget about all of this.” It wasn’t true, but he knew it was what the other man needed to hear. “Come on, we can’t stay in the toilets forever, it’s gross. Let’s get you cleaned up and to your lesson.” Cas shakily stood up and then helped him to his feet, his legs felt dead from the Cas’ weight. He tapped his feet on the floor a couple of times as he felt pins and needles run through his feet. Damn it.

“Dean?” He had been distracted by his legs so was pleasantly surprised when he looked up to find Cas standing so close. 

“Yes, baby?” He smiled and kissed his cheek, trying to make him smile.

“What Anna doesn’t know, can’t hurt her, right?” Dean looked at him suspiciously, where was he going with that train of thought?

“Right...” he replied, dragging out the word and elongating the i. Cas just smiled and then kissed him. He wasn’t sure what he was getting himself into but he didn’t really care, because twenty minutes later Cas walked out that bathroom with a smile and a bounce in his step.

*

His dad called the next day, he hadn't bothered for a few days but neither had Dean. But really, he was glad for the break, he had needed a few days to himself, not only for his recovery but to selfishly spend some time with Castiel. He didn't mention his recent injury and thankfully John didn't either, he was grateful the news hadn't made his way back to him. They spoke longer than usual, and Dean found himself starting to get excited for the first time, though the tight knot of apprehension was still in the pit of his stomach. They said goodbye on a positive note and then he passed the phone to Sam. That had been in the morning.

 

Cas didn’t call, and he didn’t see him all day. He tried not to worry, at least he knew part of what was going on. Cas would contact him when he had time and the means. 

 

His day went by as normal, he went to school, he worked at the garage and he got home by six o’clock. It was uneventful without seeing or even speaking to his boyfriend and even though it had only been a day he was missing him terribly. He tried to push the feeling away, Cas was grounded because of him, and he didn't want him getting into any more trouble. Dean was lucky Cas wasn't dumping his ass after the trouble he had got into. He was currently standing in the kitchen and staring longingly into the fridge, he even missed Cas' cooking. 

 

"I guess we're getting take-out tonight, I can't possibly cook with any of that." Dean jumped a mile in the air and spun around in fright. Cas grinned at him as he walked in, looking like he belonged there. Dean punched him in the arm as soon as he was close enough."Ouch, what was that for?!" he exclaimed, rubbing the spot he had hit.

"What the hell are you doing here?! You're grounded!"

 

"Dean, that is not an appropriate way to greet your beloved." Cas smiled mischievously and then leaned forwards to peck him on the cheek. He flicked the kettle on as he pulled back.

"Grounded?" he repeated again.

"My parents are away for the weekend with Samandriel, his birth mother requested a visit so they've had to take him to see her. They’ll be at my Uncle Uriel’s until Sunday and Lucian is doing the Sunday service.”

“So, what? Anna calmed down and let you breathe without permission?” 

“No, she locked me in my room and said I can only come out at meal times. We didn’t quite see eye to eye so I agreed, waited for her to lock me in and then climbed out the window.” Dean’s mouth dropped open in shock. This was some serious freaky Harry Potter shit.

 

“She locked you in your room?! What the hell!” His imagination was probably worse than the reality of what had happened, but still, he was entitled to a freak out when his boyfriend was locked in his room.

 

“You can’t blame her, she was under instruction.”

 

“Well, what will happen when she notices that you’re gone?”

 

“What can she do? Lock me up?” Cas laughed at his own humourless joke. “She’ll be fine, she knows I haven’t been kidnapped or something, I left her a note.” Cas looked completely unconcerned and that should have been some comfort to Dean but it wasn’t. What if she called the cops or something?

 

“Well, what did you write?” he asked, eager to know.

 

“Fuck you,” he deadpanned and then stared at Dean expectantly until they both started to laugh.

“Are you serious?” he gasped out, tugging Cas into a hug, then kissing him, their two smiles meeting in the middle. “This is why I love you, you’re fucking brilliant,” he spoke against his lips. Cas squeezed him before stepping away, he kept his arms wrapped snugly around Dean’s neck and looked straight at him. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Cas? Does this mean you’re staying?” It was so good to see him, and the possibility that he could lie in bed with him tonight, that they could talk and hold hands and stay up all night having sex, Dean’s heart was beating out of his chest.

“Why not? I’m not staying in that prison, I haven’t done something that warrants such a punishment. Why should I sit there and let it happen?” Dean shrugged lightly, and pulled him back into an embrace.

“I guess you’re right, seriously though, are you okay? You know we can talk about this if you want?” Cas leant backwards, pressing him bum against the edge of the kitchen side. Dean hooked his fingers in the loops of Cas’ pants as watched as the smaller man bit his lip in thought.

“I’m surprisingly okay... I was so upset yesterday, but it doesn’t matter. I had a lot of time to sit and reflect on things and I think I needed that.”

“Good things?” he asked.

“Kind of... I think that God has a different plan for me; maybe it’s the one I wanted all along, or maybe it isn’t, but I don’t need to know right now like I thought I did. It’s the future, it doesn’t matter right now. And I think I learned for myself that just because my dad works for the church doesn’t mean that he is the direct voice of God and neither are any of my brothers. What if they are wrong, Dean?”

“I don’t know, Cas, wrong about what? What are you talking about?”

“What if everything I’ve ever believed is wrong? I would never know. I just don’t understand why He would give me such wonderful feelings, the blessing of your requited loved, if I wasn’t supposed to act on them. This doesn’t feel wrong or dirty, I have no guilt for my actions.” Dean stared speechless.

He got the general idea of what Cas was trying to say and it made his stomach warm. Still, he had never meant to make Castiel test his faith. It was something that had always been so important to him, it defined him as a person. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t understand how these things worked. How could be believe one day that being gay was a sin and then the next that it wasn’t, was it really that simple? He wasn’t going to discourage him, he wanted him to be happy. He hoped he didn’t stop loving God because of his relationship with Dean, he would only hate him for it down the line.

“You look disappointed at my epiphany.” His smile faltered and Dean rushed to fix it.

“No! Not at all! I was just thinking that I don’t want you to suddenly drop your faith because of me.” Cas’ brow furrowed. Dean stepped out of his embrace, taking over making the man a coffee; he was assuming that was what he wanted when he had boiled water.

“I didn’t mean that, you misunderstand; I doubt that what Michael said was true. I still believe in God, that he is out there somewhere, just maybe his words have been misinterpreted in translation and in time. I will not be punished for my love for you, love is a positive and a pure emotion, it feels refreshing. My heart is light when you are close by.” Dean smiled, his own heart skipping a beat at his lovers words.

“Okay, Cas, okay.”

**

Bobby had been pleased to see their guest when he finally made his way to the kitchen. He asked Cas what happened at home, and the young man replied it was better he didn’t know, so they left it at that. 

They ate takeout in front of the TV, they quickly decided on pizza. Cas ran to the door when the door bell sounded, socked feet skidding across the floorboards. He thrust cash into the delivery boy’s hands and slammed the door shut before Bobby could make it down the stairs. Bobby merely sighed, rolled his eyes and then collected some plates, knowing he would never win the fight when it came to buying dinner. After eating, Dean and Cas curled around each other on the sofa while watching Avengers, they traded slow, lazy kisses until Sam complained to Bobby, who gave them a stern look over his paper. They silently decided to go upstairs, even though it was only seven-thirty. 

Once inside his bedroom, Dean handed Cas the pharmacy bag, he laughed at the bewildered look on his face. 

“Please don’t tell me this is from your Uncle,” he asked, somehow managing not to blush.

Dean laughed, “Okay, what do you want me to say instead?” He sat on the bed and Cas jumped on the other side, tipping the paper bag upside down as he lightly bounced. Dean had not been brave enough to rummage through it alone but Cas seemed unfazed. The contents fell onto the bed and the bag was dropped to the floor. Slowly, Cas picked up one of the many travel-sized bottles of lubricant.

“Strawberry? Dean, your uncle brought us sex supplies!” He gaped at the little bottle before a smile spread across his face. He unravelled the clear plastic off the top and then flicked the cap open. “Take your shirt off?” Dean licked his lips and grinned. He was glad that Cas was not offended by what Bobby had done. He would like nothing more than to have Cas go through every flavour and type of lube there was, testing each and every one on him, but they needed to talk.

“Cas,” he took the bottle of him and clicked the lid shut. “We need to talk about this, Bobby wants us to read the pamphlets.” This was really embarrassing, but hey, it was Cas, and it was a talk they should really have.

“That’s not fun,” he sighed, but still picked up a handful and read through the titles. “Dean we know this stuff.” Cas gave him a look which said, ‘I’m not stupid’.

“Yeah, from the internet... Have you even had a sex ed. class?” Cas silence confirmed his suspicions. Cas suddenly looked defensive and Dean held his hands up in surrender before he had the chance to say anything. “None judgemental zone here! Not judging!”

“I wasn’t allowed in okay, I had to go and sit with The Celibacy Club, and it was terrible,” he frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“We have a Celibacy Club?” Dean pulled a face. “Anyway, we’re going off topic, I just thought we could read through these together and make a few things clear. And there’s some test thingies here, I thought we could do them together?” Dean looked at the other man hopefully, he really wanted to do things right with Cas.

“Okay, we can do that,” Cas nodded in agreement. 

They lined the things up on the bed, and pushed the lube and condoms out of the way as to not get distracted by them. They took turns reading each pamphlet, Cas made it sound boring as hell, and really, really clinical, (“Dude, seriously, stop saying penis.”) But Dean had fun swapping some words around and trying to act out what the pamphlets told them. It was funnier than it should have been and thankfully after about twenty minutes, they we’re done.

“Well, that was informative; do we have to do these thingies now?” Cas waved the chunky envelopes in front of his face. Dean grabbed one and opened it.

“Yeah, Bobby paid for these so we better use them, I’m sure they’re not cheap. Not sure how it work’s though...”

“Just read the instructions, look it’s easy,” he grabbed the paper from Dean’s hands and turned it around. “We have to just pee in the pots and post them, they’ll do all the testing then we wait for the okay.”

“Well, that sounds easy.” Cas kissed his cheek and then bounced out the room to get it out the way. 

Doing this made him feel a little uneasy. It was obvious Cas would have no STDs, Dean had been his first everything but Dean had done things with other people. He had only had sex twice in his life, once with Cassie and the other with Cas, but there had been a few drunken fumbles, blowjobs from girls and a few times he had returned the favour. Even though he had laughed while reading through the information from the health centre, he had actually been unaware that you could get STD’s from that, he thought using a condom when having sex, which he had, both times, was enough. It made him feel guilty for touching other people, why hadn’t he waited?

Cas wasn’t gone long but when he returned he noticed the change in Dean’s mood as soon as he was through the door.

“What’s happened?” he asked, looking confused. He closed the door and dropped his sealed envelope onto the dresser.

“Nothing, just come here.” He held his arms open and Cas climbed into his lap. He rested his hands on Deans shoulders. 

“Seriously, talk to me.” Cas lightly kissed his nose, he pulled back in surprise and tried to smile. “No judgement,” he grinned convincingly.

“I erm, I’ve done things with other people, you know that right?” he asked, nervously. He laced his fingers together where they rested on Cas’ bottom, he subconsciously pulled him closer.

“Yes, Dean, you told me, you’re ex-girlfriend.” He was smiling so sweetly at him, God, Cas so nice and he was such a fuck up. He had touched them girls and it hadn’t even meant anything, and then he had touched Cas. What a dick.

“Not just her, other people too, some I don’t even remember and now I’m so worried that I have something and I might have given it to you. I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, how many people?” Cas was pulling away and looking unsure.

“No, I mean, there was Cassie who I told you about, we slept together once, but I used protection, and we used protection. But when I was drunk a few girls went down on me, and I-I licked them out.” He determinedly kept eye contact even though it was really uncomfortable. He wanted him to know he had nothing to hide. But Cas was looking at him as if he had grown two heads... He was just trying to be honest. Dean realised what he had said and what it sounded like. “Jesus, Cas! Not at the same time! This was over a few weeks, I went through a whore-stage after Cassie, bitch broke my heart, okay?”

“You’re not a whore, don’t say that,” he countered. “Dean, it’s fine. Just piss in the bottle and we’ll see, okay. And if you’ve given me something, then that’s my fault too-” Dean tried to interrupt him but Cas placed a finger over his lips. “Shut up, I said its fine. I chose to go down on you; I knew what I was doing. It’ll be fine, you’re worrying over nothing.” Dean nodded slowly and buried his face into Cas shirt, he pushed his hands up the back of Cas jumper and relaxed, trying to stop worrying.

**

They mutually decided that if either of them a STD, that it was well and truly spread by now, so there was no point changing their habits.

They used the lube. 

Cas stripped Dean’s clothes off slowly, kissing and licking his way over every inch of his body. They started with the strawberry lube, Cas moaning obscenely as he licked stripes up Dean’s cock, fascinated by the sweet taste. He deep-throated him until Dean couldn’t take anymore and he was coming straight down the other man’s throat. Dean was going to flip them until Cas was rubbing something over his hole that made him tingle and was artificially warm. Cas licked him open, Dean on his hands and knees and biting his hand in an effort to keep quiet. They did as they we’re told, Led Zeppelin blared from Dean’s iphone dock and drowned out any sounds they were making. They had sex for the second time; Cas fucked him slow and deep. It was intense and they didn’t break eye contact the entire time. It was everything they both needed. 

They kissed until they were both hard again and moved to the bathroom to share a shower. A portable CD player followed them and was placed on the floor against the door. Dean put his favourite playlist on repeat. Cas fucked him from behind against the tiled wall, harder and much faster than he had previously dared. They both came again, gasping against each other’s mouths at an awkward angle. Afterwards they cleaned each other and traded more kisses, never growing tired of each other. 

**

Sunday came, and unexpectedly Cas rolled out of bed at six am, hair tousled, covered in come and stinking of their weekend of sex. He disappeared from the room. Dean was too tired to care, he felt like he had run a marathon, his thigh muscles ached and there was no way he was getting out of bed, he went back to sleep. 

When Cas returned it was hours later, the sun was high in the sky, it must have been past midday. Castiel was dressed in his Sunday best, his hair was tamed with gel, his suit immaculate and his eyes alight with desire, where he stared at Dean’s exposed flesh from the door way. He slowly dropped his book bag, he kicked the door closed, clicking the lock in place. He then turned to face Dean. They exchanged a piercing and intense look, making Dean embarrassing hard within in seconds. 

“Fuck Cas, the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid,” Dean breathed, adrenaline already pumping through his veins. The other man smirked, and seductively slow, pulled his clothes off, he left his nice suit crumpled on the floor. 

They didn’t leave the room for some time.


	41. Chapter Sixteen Part Two

By unspoken routine, they met in the library the next morning. Dean was late because he helped Bobby open the store, so there were a few freshmen hanging around; it was annoying because Dean was concentrating on not to blushing like a school girl when Cas smiled at him. His dick had taken a serious interest in the other man after their weekend together. It was embarrassing trying to cover it, he felt like some kind of pervert. Of course, Cas noticed almost straight away and found it hilarious.

“It’s not funny,” Dean complained.

Cas grinned at him slyly and replied, “Don’t worry, it's completely mutual,” as if it was going to make it easier. He was such a freaking tease, knowing they were both unsure when they could get some alone time; however long away that was, it was too long, that was for sure.

Dean pushed it to the back of his mind. 

"So, what happened when you got home last night?" Cas had told him yesterday that Lucian hadn't mentioned him disappearing when he had seen him at the church service. Anna must have pulled through and kept her mouth shut. 

"Well, Michael was thankfully not there," he said, avoiding looking at him.

"He wasn't at church?"

"No, he was at church, he wasn't at home." Dean waited for him to carry on explaining but he didn't, he fell quiet and concentrated on his workbook. Dean knew he wasn't going to say any more on the matter so he opened his own book bag, figuring he could get half an hour’s work in before he had to get to his homeroom. 

Cas didn’t mention where Michael was, or anything else about him all day, and honestly that was fine with Dean as long as he wasn’t causing problems. Michael and Lucian may be twins but in personality they were very different, and out of the few times he had seen them it was very clear they were both complete bastards. He wasn’t sure who he hated more, though he did harbour a deep fury for Mike. The thing with Michael was that he was sneaky about things, and he really didn’t like that. Lucian would punch you in the face but Michael would stab you in the back. Dean knew what he would prefer, he didn’t like two-faced people. It was an awkward subject for them to talk about, but at least Cas wasn't bottling it up anymore, and he didn’t seem too upset anyway. He was thankful. It wouldn’t have been fair to him to have such a wonderful weekend and then for it to be spoiled by his family.

*

On Monday night, Dean wasn't sure what to expect, he watched Anna drive her sibling’s home and then went to work as usual. He tried not to stare at his cell; he knew Cas couldn’t call him anyway, his parents were back. He was probably being grounded again for his disobedience... It was hard not to think about, and Dean found himself volunteering to pull apart some cars that Bobby had bought cheap for the parts, stripping apart an SUV engine was strangely therapeutic.

*

“So, are things still cool?” he asked the next day, he knew the answer would not be positive, he could tell by the blank look on Cas’ handsome face. For the very first time since they had met, Dean and Cas we’re sat in the lunch room. He wasn’t sure why Cas was breaking his daily schedule; it was nice to sit with him in the open, but he couldn’t help but think something had happened. He had no way of knowing how his evenings we’re going anymore and it felt like Cas had purposely ignored him that morning.

“They’re as well as they can be,” Cas shrugged and took a bite out of his burger. “Nothing’s going to magically get better, I’m not stupid.” He sounded depressed.

Dean sighed. “Look,” he said, dipping his voice below the loud chatter around them, and leaning in close over the table to look him in the eye. “I didn’t mean to upset you; I just need to know you’re okay. You’ve hardly said a thing to me all day.” Cas’ expression was closed off but softened slightly at Dean’s honestly.

Things were up and down all the time, his relationship with Castiel was nothing but unpredictable, they had high moments which made everything worth it, but the lows were sometimes too much. The weekend had been everything they needed but by today, just a couple of days after spending so much needed time with him, Cas’ mood was low again.

“I understand, and I apologise,” he replied softly, placing his food back on his plate. Cas looked at him longingly and Dean felt his hand’s twitching to come into contact with the other man. 

“I understand this is hard for you but I’m struggling too, ya know. We’ve just moved forwards in our-” Dean glanced around himself, paranoid someone would hear. “Relationship,” he mouthed. “And it’s made things difficult for you. I never wanted that.” Cas shrugged again, looking lost at what to say.

“It’s not your fault. Dean, don’t blame yourself.” He was right of course, it wasn’t his fault that Cas’ family we’re so homophobic that they had to sneak around. 

“Just don’t ignore me, okay?” Dean asked him sadly. “Remember what we’ve been talking about, communication.” Cas nodded understandingly.

They ate in silence, the atmosphere morose until Cas tangled their feet together, easily hidden underneath the table. Dean paused mid-drink of his soda and looked at him questionably; Cas gave him a small smile and stroked his foot against the back of Dean’s leg a few times. It lightened the mood slightly. 

Jo arrived a few minutes later with a large group of girls and started climbing into the spare seats around them, giggling and unaware of their bad timing. There weren’t enough chairs but they didn’t seem to mind, seemingly comfortable on the table behind or standing, as long as they we’re close by. Dean wasn’t sure if he wanted company right now, as sad as it was, he was enjoying sitting quietly with Cas. He didn’t want to be rude to them though so he just tried to pretend he was fine. Jo squeezed into the seat next to him and no-one dare argue over the seat with her, he plastered a big cheesy grin on his face as she smiled at him.

“Heeeey, Joanna Beth,” he teased.

“Shut it, Winchester.” She elbowed him in mock offence and then smiled fondly. “And here I was, coming over here and talking to you because you guys looked like someone just died... wait, no-one died right?!” 

“Of course no-one died, jeeze! And what were you going to do anyway, was your face going to bring cheer?”

“You should be humbled by my presence.” He rolled his eyes. 

He didn’t mind Jo too much, but he did mind her mindless friend’s who followed her, unfortunately she was the nucleus of the group. 

“Hey, Castiel,” Bella greeted, leaning in uncomfortably close to the man. Bella was a classic example of why Dean wasn’t the biggest fan of Jo’s friends. Cas glared at her as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing?’ Dean tried not to smile too much at his reaction. “You look hot today,” she said, running a finger up his arm. Dean felt his jaw twitch in annoyance. “I like your coat...” she continued unnecessarily. Wow, really, what was she trying to accomplish here?

“Yes, it keeps me sufficiently warm.” Dean tried not to choke on his lunch. If he hadn’t been fucking around with Cas for the past two months he would have thought he was genuinely oblivious. Dean knew better. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to maybe...” 

“No, thank you.” 

“Come on, don’t be such a prude-“ Cas turned away from her and chose not to respond, he shoved his face full of food and left everyone grinning, amused at his obvious lack of interest in the girl. No one spoke and a few of the girl’s exchanged looks and the atmosphere was awkward.

“Ohhh, rejected,” someone in the group whispered. It broke the ice and everyone burst out laughing at the flush that suddenly covered Bella’s pretty cheeks. She huffed, obviously not used to guys rejecting her and then tried not to look bothered. Dean found himself laughing at the look on his boyfriend’s face.

*

Alfie flopped down in the seat next to him in third period and told him all about his weekend. "-so it happens that she wants to see me more often, they're trying to rebuild our relationship slowly. To be honest, I'm not sure what to think about it all." 

Dean wasn’t sure why the boy was telling him all of this, but he guessed he hadn’t made any real friends yet, and this wasn’t something he could talk to his siblings about. Gabriel was being a lot more polite to the newest member of the family, but it didn’t mean he would sit and talk to him about this stuff. The rest of the family we’re really not the type for it either. Even Cas, who normally had all the time in the world to help other people, was too busy with his own life at the moment. So Dean smiled and listened and gave input where he thought it was appropriate. 

They talked for the entire lesson and somehow still managed to get all their work done. Dean was pleased that Alfie was giving his Mom another chance, even if it was really difficult for the boy. On the upside, it meant that Cas would have more time to sneak off and do as he pleased if his parents we're going away for the next few weekends, he tried not to be too happy about this in front of Alfie. That would be cruel.

*

School went as normal in the following days and it was nice to get back into the normal routine of things. Dean was still behind in Chemistry and was trying his best to concentrate in lessons; he was taking a lot more notes for revision, and anything that he didn’t understand he asked Cas about in their secret morning meetings. He stuck with Latin, though he was more behind than ever because he was still trying to catch the class up, he wouldn’t admit it, but it was a little more advanced than what he was used to; though because he enjoyed it the challenge didn’t seem as much as a burden as the chemistry revision did. It was a big work load after missing three days; he would be glad to graduate.

 

*

 

The front door knocked twice and then promptly opened, signalling Castiel’s arrival. Dean had been thinking about giving him a key, he was going to ask Bobby about it tomorrow. It was okay in the day when Cas could just knock and walk in, but when he visited at night he was always waking someone up to get in, though he was really apologetic about it.

“Hey!” Cas called. He could hear him messing around downstairs for a second.

“I’m upstairs!” he yelled back, hoping he could hear him. Dean was sat in Bobby’s office, trying to finish his English essay. He finished his sentence and decided he could do the rest before he went to work tomorrow. He stretched in the chair, feeling satisfied as his spine popped and sighed in relief. His butt was dead and he hadn’t moved in over an hour, it would be good to have a quiet evening with Cas, maybe he could convince him to give him a back rub.

When Cas hesitantly walked in a few seconds later, Gabriel was at his heels. Dean exchanged a questioning look with him, wondering why he had bought his brother. Cas had never brought Gabe before. Dean was hoping that he could take his boyfriend on a date and Gabriel wasn’t about to ruin his plans. It was cheesy but they hadn’t actually gone on a proper date, Dean was going to take him out to dinner and then for a movie, and fingers crossed they would have some time alone. He didn’t care if it was selfish, it was already Friday and they hadn’t seen each other out of school all week. Cas didn’t look amused so he was guessing it wasn’t good news.

“He said if I didn’t bring him, he’d tell mom.”

“Your mom’s home? I thought she was taking Alfie to the city?” he asked Cas, but Gabriel huffed and drew attention to himself.

“Well, no, but I wanted to see Sam!” Gabriel argued. “Why can you guys sneak off and see each other all the time! It’s not fair!”

“You are such a little shit,” Dean groaned and banged his head on the desk, he didn’t want to deal with this crap. “Go on then,” he groaned and then straightened up. “But if you open your mouth-“

“What?! You’re not going to do anything, and I’m not scared of you,” Gabriel scoffed and then stormed off, leaving Dean staring at the empty space.

“Has he always been...?”

“Yes, I hate him about eighty percent of the time,” Cas admitted. “But hey, he’s blood so...” he shrugged. “Do you mind?” he sighed. 

Dean shook his head ‘no’ and then said, “It’s okay, I get it, brothers are a pain in the ass.” 

Cas smiled gratefully.

“Anyway, blackmail aside, I thought it might be fun for us, we could spend some time with our brothers. We have been neglecting them a bit.” It was so like Cas to try and make the best of a bad situation. Though it was true, it would be nice to spend some time with Sam where he didn’t just see him as a pain in the ass, he hadn’t talked to him properly in ages. Sam had been his best friend for a long time, even if he hadn’t admitted it. Dean didn’t want him to feel like he had been replaced by Cas (even though he kind of had), Sam would always be special to him. There was no reason they couldn’t waste an evening playing games and lounging around with everyone. It would be the first time he really get to know Gabriel, it would be good for him to get a better opinion of him instead of seeing him as Cas’ annoying little brother all the time.

...but right now, he wanted to kiss his boyfriend. He had missed him lot today. Dean stood up from the desk, coming to stand in front of Cas. The other man gripped his hands and pulled him close.

“We’ve been a little preoccupied,” Dean smiled and leaned forward to kiss Cas’ lips, it was short and sweet and afterwards they held each other until they we’re both dizzy from the feeling of being so close. 

“So, is that a yes?” Cas asked, after an age.

“What are we talking about again?” Dean joked.

Cas pulled out of their embrace and held him at arm’s length. “Did my kisses melt your brain? Our brothers.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “I was joking, but sure, I think it’s a good idea too. But if they start to bother us we can always ditch ‘em. I was gonna take us to the movies but I guess we can go another day.”

“I’m sorry, we can still watch something if you want. I have my laptop and we have all those movies you downloaded.”

“Later, let’s go to my room, we have an hour until Bobby gets home.”

*

Cas and Dean pulled apart as soon as they heard the truck pull up in the drive, they had spent the last hour with their lips inseparable and their hands everywhere, but all good things had to come to an end. They both tidied themselves back up, zipping up pants and slipping back into shoes. Cas straightened his shirt and then tucked it in to his jeans, before he pulled his sweater over the top.

“Dude, you have epic sex hair,” Dean laughed. Cas looked confused and then ran his fingers through his hair roughly, trying to straighten it. “You’re making it worse,” he exclaimed and then tried to fix it for him. Cas stood still and let Dean fiddle with his hair. “Did I ever tell you it makes me really hot when you dress like this,” Dean whispered, a grin spreading across his lips. Cas was so irresistible to him, he would never have his fill; and even though he had spent the last hour showering him in affection, he was aching to kiss him again.

“Really?” Cas raised an eyebrow at him, a knowing look on his face. Of course Cas knew the affect he had on him.

“Yeah, I mean, er-“ Dean stumbled over his words and flushed. Sometimes Cas just had to look at him a certain way and it made his brain short-circuit. “You just look so tidy and well dressed,” he explained. “And you’re beautiful,” he breathed deep and let his hands drop, stepping back to look at his handy work. It looked at lot less obvious that Dean had been tugging on the dark strands for the past hour. He looked immaculate, his clothes sharp and his face freshly shaved, blue eyes standing out sharply against his dark sweater and bright tie. Looking at Castiel now it made him wonder how he had done it, how he had managed to have someone like him as his boyfriend. Cas was still smiling at him as if it this was new, as if Dean had never told him he was beautiful, he was still not used to hearing it. “It’s hard to not wanna just strip you bare, take away all those fancy clothes you hide behind, see what’s underneath-“

“You know what’s underneath,” Cas was smiling like crazy and making Dean fidget in embarrassment. He wasn’t even sure where this was coming from; his mouth was just running away with him. 

“I know, but I didn’t mean-“

“I know what you meant,” Cas finished, stepping back into his space. He looked at him earnestly, cupped his face gently with both his hands and then leaned in to kiss him softly. Cas held him close, his arms wrapped around his waist and his hand rubbing Dean’s back. “I love you, now let’s go downstairs, okay?” He glanced around his room quickly to make sure there was nothing incriminating left out and then Dean nodded and took his hand.

Bobby was in a brilliant mood, he smiled at the guys when they arrived in the kitchen, unfazed that he had an uninvited guest again. Dean hoped it would last once he knew that Gabriel was here as well. 

“Hello Bobby, I hope it’s okay I’m here, my parents are away again,” Cas explained, leaning back against the counter.

The man shrugged and said, “It doesn’t make a difference to me, Cas, I can hardly tell when you’re here and you tidy up after yourself, which is more than my two.”

“Hey!” Dean defended. “I always clean up, I did your laundry yesterday!”

“I’m only pulling your leg, boy.” 

“I have Gabriel here with me too, is it okay if he stays? He wanted to spend some time with Sam, I thought it might be fun for us all to spend some time together.” Dean was glad he said something about Gabriel, though he was understanding, he might come off as annoyed if he told Bobby and he would pick up on it.

Bobby nodded, “Sure, I don’t think we have much food in though, I need to go to the store.” He looked at his watch, it was already gone six, a little late to go grocery shopping. By the time they would get home, unpack it and then cook, it would be gone nine, a little late since they hadn’t ate since midday. Dean was hungry now, there weren’t even any snacks in, he had checked when he had got home.

“Why don’t we go out?” Cas suggested. “We can go to the Roadhouse, I have some cash on me, I can pay half.” Dean hated how aware Cas was of their struggling financial situation. Bobby tried his best and could never take to the idea of Cas paying for things, he was too proud and it always bothered him, he expected him to protest but he simply rolled his eyes and then nodded.

“Why not, eh? I need to talk to Ellen anyway. I’ll just get changed, go get your brothers?”

Cas and Dean raced up the stairs childishly and into Sam's room, laughing as they tried to go through the door at the same time. They got a bitch face from for that. The boys we're both reading Marvel comics, and we're unhappy at being disrupted but soon had a change of heart at the thought of food. Dean gave them both a warning to be on their best behaviour while they we're out, and gave them the bribe of playing the new GTA game if they we're good. It was insinuated that Dean would end their lives if they we're annoying, he didn't want Cas and Gabriel being sent home because Sam had a smart mouth.

*

They were just tucking into steak and fries, when Jody Mills appeared at the table, smiling sweetly at them. Bobby swallowed thickly and was suddenly interested in straightening his jacket.

"Ms. Mills, how nice to see you," he smiled politely up at her. 

"Hello, I haven't seen you all in a while, just thought I'd come and see how you were. I was just going to order some dinner." She spoke to everyone, but it was clear she wanted to talk to Bobby. 

"We're well, thank you!" Dean smiled sickly sweet at her. "Just having some dinner with our friends," he said with false cheer. "Hey, Bobby, I have an idea! Why don't you go and sit with Jody?"

"Yeah, go and buy her a drink, Uncle Bobby! You don't wanna sit with us kids, right?" Sam joined in. 

"But I just started eating," he protested, and Dean discreetly elbowed him under the table. "Ouch! I mean- I wouldn't want to leave you alone," he finished, smiling nervously at Jody.

"Oh, it's okay! I wouldn't want to intrude!" She walked away reluctantly, and Sam kicked Bobby under the table and then stared at him pointedly.

"I'm going to kill you two!" the old man threatened, pointing a finger at Dean and then at Sam. Cas and Gabriel carried on eating, staring at their plates ad trying not to get involved.

"Stop being such a grumpy old man and go and buy her a drink," Dean said and then pushed him out the chair. "Take your dinner," Dean instructed, holding out his plate to him. Bobby took it without protest but stared over to we're Jody had sat down by herself, looking disappointed. 

"Go on," Sam encouraged. The man shuffled away and they all watched him curiously to see if he would actually sit with her. They watched him hover at her table for a few seconds before sitting down.

“Well, I expected more of a fight,” Dean shrugged, and Sam nodded in agreement.

"Who is that?” Cas asked. “That was ridiculously awkward.”

“It’s Jody Mills, she used to be the Sheriff here years ago, her and Bobby have been dancing around each other for years.”

“So if they like each other, why doesn’t he just ask her out?” It was complicated; Dean wanted Bobby to be happy, but he never knew if he was doing a favour by encouraging him with Jody or making it worst, but he had to try.

“He’s afraid of being hurt again,” Dean said seriously. 

Cas nodded slowly but didn’t ask anymore and he was grateful, it wasn’t really his story to tell. Even though it had almost been six years, Bobby was still grieving over Karen. Some of her things we're still scattered around the house and Bobby hadn't even looked through the boxes that Dean had taken out of his bedroom. He wasn't sure if people ever got over their loved ones dying, he didn't even want to think how he would feel if Cas was suddenly snatched from him, and they had only been seeing each other a few months. Bobby and Karen had been married for years. 

But Jody was so nice! He knew Bobby was feeling guilty, but he shouldn't, Jody would never replace Karen and she didn't want to. She was just lonely like he was; he wished Bobby would see that. Once he went to college it would just be him and Sam, and then when Sam left he would be by himself again. He watched the two of them laughing and hoped they would at least give it a go, they would never know if they didn't try.

“That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been trying,” Sam laughed. “Sometimes they’re so cute it makes me sick. You know, for old people.” Dean and Sam spent their meal sniggering at their uncle’s attempts not to embarrass himself, and animatedly told Cas and Gabe all the funny stories they could think of involving the two of them and their flirting. 

Once they finished their food, the conversation picked up and the Novak’s started to join in more instead of just laughing at Dean and Sam. Dean found out the Gabriel was actually really funny and it was a surprisingly good night. They hung around for ages waiting for Bobby, he had somehow found his way to the bar, and Jody was practically sat in his lap after one too many glasses of wine. After they got bored making kissing faces behind his back, they played a few games of pool. The first few games went slow and Dean had to help Cas and Gabriel because they had never played before. Cas was interested in knowing the rules so it took a about half an hour before the first game was finished, whereas Gabriel was happy to just stab the ball and hope he got some points. Cas was actually really good after he stopped worrying and started having fun, he even managed win against Sam (though it was only once).

But before they knew it, it was nearing nine o'clock and Sam wanted to go home.

"You promised we could play GTA," he whined, downing the last of his fourth soda and then Gabriel copying him. Ellen was behind the bar and was giving them free soft drinks once she had realised Bobby was on a spontaneous date with Ms. Mills. She had also been sneaking them some coins for the jukebox.

"We have all night, it's not like Bobby's gonna send you to bed, it's a weekend and you have a friend over." Dean replied.

"I don’t wanna be up all night, I need to be up tomorrow, I have homework." Dean sighed; he sometimes forgot Sam was such a dork. He scanned the crowd for where Bobby had disappeared to. It was getting late and an older crowd was starting to arrive. Sam was right, they should get home.

"Okay, wait here, I'll be right back."

Dean couldn't find Bobby so he left a message with Ellen, explaining they we're heading home and to let Bobby know. He tried to leave ten dollars with her so his Uncle could get a cab, but Ellen promised she would give him a lift home.

They stopped at a convenience store on the way home, Cas and Gabriel quickly filling up two baskets. Cas was collecting sensible things like bread, cereal and milk, while Gabe was filling his basket with crap: potato chips, poptarts, ice cream, pretzels. They went through the self serve and then was back home by ten o’clock. 

They crashed in the lounge, full tummies and tired from how much they had all laughed, but still finding room for snacks. They made beds on the floor using couch cushions and bedding and all got comfortable. Dean tried to grab Cas’ hand but he discreetly pulled away and smiled at him. He was more reserved than he had ever seen him; normally he wasn't embarrassed to hold Dean's hand as they lounged around the house, or even exchange some light kisses on the couch. But with Gabriel there, he was lucky if Cas bumped his shoulder. He had grown used to the PDA, and Cas’ cheeky nature, it wasn’t bad, he just wasn’t used to it. It didn’t take long for him to forget about holding Cas’ hand, because Sam was shoving a controller at him and bouncing around the room. 

It was a different kind of fun hanging around with their little brothers. Yeah, Sam still annoyed him at times but it was a nice change. They played games late until the night, and Cas was scarily good at first person shooter games seems he had never played any before.

Bobby stumbled home around midnight, Gabriel and Sam had already fallen asleep on the floor and Bobby was gently shaking him and Cas awake and then pointing upstairs. They stood up, stretching their sore muscles from sleeping at an awkward angle and both helped Bobby up the stairs and into his room, leaving the man singing happily under his breath.

*  
Dean asked Bobby about the house key the next day. He wasn’t sure how much the man had drank yesterday but it was enough for him to be hiding in the office for most of the day. So when they closed up for lunch, and Sam was out of earshot, he bucked up his courage and came straight out with it. It might have not been the best time to ask, considering the man’s hangover, but it needed to be said and there was no point skirting around the question. He gave Dean a ‘I’m too tired for this shit’ look and told him he would think about it. Well, that was better than an outright no.

*

Time passed quickly and the two teenagers fell into a strange routine, things weren't perfect, but they were both happy. School remained the same, they shared a few lessons and Cas still attended an alarming amount of clubs. Dean's work pattern shifted slightly, he normally worked around Rufus' hours but the man had needed to change his contract. So now he worked Monday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings, and Saturday mornings or evenings, depending when Bobby needed him the most. Some days he still met Bobby at closing time and helped him lock up. The hours we’re more than what he was used to, but the money was more than welcome. He felt like between studying, school and work, he had no free time, so the time he got to spend with Cas he took advantage of.

Cas remained with no car and no phone, so some days he avoided Anna until she reluctantly went home without him, and then asked Dean to take him to the library or went with him to work. He always dropped him home around seven, and if Cas decided to sneak out after then that wasn't his fault. Dean didn't actively encourage Cas' behaviour, but he didn't discourage it either. After all, he was the same Cas he had always been, beautiful, vibrant, sexy, and a complete dork. Except now Cas didn't lie to him, and he was around a hell of a lot more. It wasn't like he saw him every day or that Cas was having some kind of teenage rebellion. He was still a very respectful person; polite and well behaved... he just didn’t want to do it at home.

Cas was grounded and yelled at so often, that was past having any effect on him. Some week nights he would call Dean crying from Alfie’s phone, but most nights he would shrug it off and say, "It's okay, I'm used to it." And those times became often. 

It seemed the more Cas' parents told him off for wandering off as he pleased, the more he did it, he never wanted to be at home. It took a few weeks for his parents to reluctantly turn a blind eye, having figured out about his weekend disappearances pretty quickly from Anna. But they wouldn't drop was where he was going. They questioned him nonstop about his 'girlfriend'. Gabriel denied everything and said Cas was a geek who would never get a girlfriend, and Samandriel remained falsely oblivious. 

Dean wondered why Mike and Luke had kept quiet. Cas was under no illusion about what was happening and was literally waiting for them to drop the figurative bomb that Cas was gay. He seemed to be treasuring his new found freedom from his boosted confidence, even if some people were making it really difficult.

They talked about Cas' problems often, sometimes on the phone, at school, or sometimes Dean would wake up in the night to his boyfriend unexpectedly joining him in bed. Nine out of ten times Cas' parents were being unreasonable from what Cas had explained, but Dean wished the other man wouldn't push against them so much.

The fact that Cas wasn’t meant to be at Dean’s house was easily forgettable at times, and the trouble he got in from it soon became normal. So when Dean pulled into the drive on a Wednesday evening to find Cas sat on the doorstep with a night bag and a frown, he knew something out of the ordinary had happened. Dean was out the car as fast as he could and running up the steps.

“What’s happened?” he gasped. Cas looked up at him with sad eyes but he didn’t answer, he shrugged one of his shoulders and then looked down and fiddled with his bag. Dean pulled him up by his hands and Bobby unlocked the door to let them in. Cas ran straight upstairs and the sound of a slammed door echoed through the house. Dean winced and turned unsurely to Bobby who was looking at him disapprovingly.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised on Cas’ behalf. He didn’t know what else to say. The man sighed and the slowly shut the front door.

“Give him some space, you too as well Sam, leave him alone. You boys come and cook dinner with me, then check him later. He’ll come down when he's ready.”

“You’re not mad?” Dean asked, relaxing. He wasn’t even sure why he was worried. 

“I was young once, I remember everything being a life or death situation. You’re delicate at this age.” He smiled and tapped Dean on the back and then steered him into the kitchen.

Dean was sure that Bobby was right at first, but Cas didn’t make a sound for hours.

Out of everything that had happened, Dean hated this the most, he didn’t know how to handle it. He begged at his own door for two hours, before he gave up, becoming too upset and went and got Bobby.

“Unlock the door, Cas, I want to talk to you,” Bobby ordered as he tapped lightly at the door. Dean sat back against the wall and hoped that Bobby would have some kind of break through with him. He really hoped he would be kind. 

There was no sound of movement for a while, but a few minutes later the door was creaking open and Cas was stood shuffling his feet.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t make me leave,” he begged. Dean’s heart clenched in his chest and his throat constricted, he looked up at Bobby hopefully. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you, I was just so angry and I didn’t know what to do with what I was feeling. I have nowhere else to go! I can’t go home, my brothers are there.” The man put his hands on his hips and stared at Cas, deciding what to do.

“Come ‘ere,” he said, pulling Cas into a hug before he could protest. “I don’t want you to feel like I would ever kick you out, our home is always welcome to you. So much that I got you a present.” Cas stepped back and hugged his own arms back around himself.

“You don’t have to buy me anything, I appreciate-“ Bobby shoved his hand into his back pocket and held up a key.

Cas reached for it, and then he cried.


	42. Chapter Seventeen - Part One

“We should do something for Halloween,” Bella sighs. It’s a Monday afternoon and everyone is lounging around in Computer Science and pretending to work. “None of this trick or treat crap. Can you believe that no-one is having a party?” she groaned and looked annoyed. Dean resisted rolling his eyes, everything was so superficial with girls, he knew it was just a chance to dress up in basically nothing and get drunk. All girls weren’t like that, he wasn’t stupid, but Bella thrived on the attention. He had never been to a Halloween party before, and he didn’t see the attraction.

 

It was easy to get distracted in Ash's lesson, the teacher had spent the first half an hour completely sidetracked and showing them cool websites rather than giving them work to do. It was a relaxed environment and Dean was glad he had taken the class, and being his last lesson of the day it was pretty sweet. He spent so much time stressing in his other lessons recently, this was a breath of fresh air. Now he was working through a text book, or at least he was trying to; he was sat with Jo and her friends, they had taken a serious liking into him and Cas. After failing to ask Cas on a date last week, Bella hadn't become disheartened, if anything, she was more persistent than ever. Dean wasn't sure if it was a strange sort of bulling or she actually liked him. Cas was in denial about the whole thing, refusing to admit that she existed, let alone that she was flirting with him. Dean found it funny but didn't dare tease the man, Cas was scary when he wanted to be.

 

“Well," Jo scoffed. "Don’t expect me to volunteer after the last time, my mom is still pissed.” She shot a dirty look at Dean and then to the back of Cas’ head. He rolled his eyes. Dean did feel partly responsible for that one, he hadn’t felt bad at the time because he didn’t know her that well, but now she was his friend, he knew he was never going to live it down. Cas was oblivious to the conversation; he was rewriting a computer program, one row in front of them.

 

“Jeeze, we said we we’re sorry,” he replied, speaking on Cas’ behalf as well.

 

“So, what should we do then? We have to do something!”

 

“Well,” Becky spoke up, creepily appearing at the other side of Dean. “What can you suggest, Winchester? Last I heard you and Castiel drank all the time." Why did he have to boast? He ended up putting his foot in it. "Where did you say you went before?” She was talking about The Lakes; he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea... He didn’t want a group of girls going out by themselves and something bad happening. That place was huge and really dangerous at night. It would be his fault if something went wrong. He didn’t answer but shrugged.

  

“Yeah, The Lakes you said, right?” Fuck, Bella had a good memory; she looked way too pleased with herself. “That sounds great! We can drive up, camp out and tell scary stories around a fire! It sounds perfect for Halloween! Spooky!” She bounced in her seat in excitement.

 

“That sounds pretty cool,” Becky nodded along enthusiastically. “But let’s not invite any idiots, they’ll ruin it,” she jibed at Dean.

 

“That wasn’t my fault!” he reminded them, but was ignored as the girls chatted across him as if he wasn’t there. Rude.

 

“-keep it on the down low. But who do we tell? We don’t want people to blab, if the whole year turns up then it’ll be crap-”

 

“Close friends only, no idiots.”

 

Dean spaced out and tried to focus on his work. He didn’t really need a good grade in this class but Cas would kick his ass if he failed. He stared at the screen and tried to follow the program file.

 

“-this Friday night, Dean and Cas can show us where it is, we can all drive down, right?” Dean looked up when he heard his name.

 

“Me? What?” he asked confused. With the amount of snarky comments they had been making he had assumed he wasn’t invited.

 

“Well, duh, you’ve been there before, you can show us where to go. Is there a somewhere we can all park up? There’s no chance we’ll get caught by cops right?”

 

Dean shrugged, “I’m not really sure, I’ll show you were it is but I don’t know what I’m doing Friday, I have work.” It was a lie and they didn’t need to know otherwise.

 

“But Dean, you and Cas have to come!” Jo frowned and tugged on his arm, then pouted.

 

“I’ll let you know, I need to speak to him first.”

 

"Pleeeaaassseee?!" The group of girls begged simultaneously.

 

"Seriously, I said I would ask! Dudes busy, I can't make him come-"

 

"I seriously doubt that," Cas grinned, and spun around in his chair so he was facing them. He looked so fucking pleased with himself. Dean wanted to punch his pretty face, how could be just say stuff like that in front of their friends?! "So, what are you assuming that I can't attend?" he asked, pulling on his coat from the back of his chair.

 

"We're gonna camp out at The Lakes-" The bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson and Dean jumped up as fast as he could. Like typical high school students, the classroom erupted into chaos and it was difficult to stay inside without being trampled or getting hit with a bag. Jo paused what she was saying to give Lilith a dirty look because she was stood on her bag and Dean saw his chance.

 

"What are you doing tonight?" he interrupted, having to raise his voice over the increased volume so Cas could hear him.

 

"Dean, I'll text you," Jo said, touching his arm to grab his attention again.

 

"Yeah, okay. Bye, Jo," he nodded and then turned back to Cas who shrugged and looked unhappy.

 

"I'm going home, but I might see you later? Depends how everything goes." He was sympathetic, and nodded understandingly.

 

He walked with Cas down to the car park, staying with him as long as possible and wishing more than anything that he could reach over and give him a hug. It wasn't fair, and it left Dean feeling sorry for their situation as he watched other couples kissing each other goodbye.

 

 

**

 

"We should go!" Cas said, smiling wide at him and nodding enthusiastically. The man had appeared some time after Dean had finished eating dinner. He was false with cheer and it worried him. He wasn't sure if camping was a good idea, last time they had been to a party it didn't end well. "It would be fun! We could dress up and have a few drinks," he said convincingly, trying to win Dean over. He did make it sound fun. He really would like to go but the thought of going back down to The Lakes so soon after his accident was a little daunting, especially when alcohol was involved. Then there was the issue with his parents, Cas was trying their patience too much, pushing them further and further. He shouldn't even be here now.

 

"I'm not sure..." he replied, trying to weigh his options. It wasn't just going back to The Lakes; it was drinking with Cas in front of their classmates. He could never control his tongue when he was drinking and in his experience with Cas, every time they got drunk they ended up having some kind of sex. Was it really a good idea!?

 

"Come on, Dean!" he pouted slightly. "There's no point me going if you don't! I hardly know anyone!"

 

"You've known everyone longer than me!" he laughed.

 

"Yeah but, they're not my friends! They don't understand me like you do, they think I have a stick up my ass or something. I'm boring to them! And I don't want to socialise with those idiots! I want to have the experience with you! I've never even been to a party! Deeeaaannn..." he whined, tugging on his sleeve. Cas was looking at him pleading, could he really say no to him?

 

"Fine!" he exclaimed finally. "We can go but I have no idea what we are going to wear and we need to be on best behaviour, be careful what we say, I don't-" Cas bounced in excitement and cut off what he was saying.

 

"This is going to be brilliant!" He looked really happy and his excitement quickly became infectious. Maybe he should stop over thinking everything and just enjoy himself for once?

 

"I just want to double check with Bobby that I can go, if he can't look after Sam then I won't go," he explained, he needed to make sure Sam stayed home and wouldn’t pull a stunt like the last time.

 

"That sounds reasonable... so do we stay out or should we come back here? Obviously I'm not going to go home drunk, will Bobby let me stay?" Dean rolled his eyes.

 

"Bobby always lets you stay, I don't know why you keep asking him, you're part of the furniture now." Well, it was true, Cas spent more time here than at home, Dean wasn't exactly sure how he was getting away with it. Yes, he knew there were arguments but he had been expecting more of a reaction; he guessed Cas' parents didn't want to ruin the perfect little charade they had set up in the community. People would judge them if they knew their children were so out of control. They were ignoring it, like with Mike and Luke. He just hoped it lasted and wouldn't take away the happiness that Castiel had found. "It won't be a problem anyway," he continued. "The girls we're talking about camping, do you want to stay out? Bobby has a tent."

 

"I guess, it could be fun," he replied, smiling. Dean grinned and pulled him into a hug. He knew Bobby wouldn't mind letting them borrow some camping supplies, especially if Cas was involved. Dean was really happy that Bobby liked his boyfriend so much, he really felt like he fit in with their little family. When he was with Cas, he felt like he could pretend things were normal, that everything was going to be okay. Just something as simple as holding him at night, it made him unbelievingly grateful for the things he did have, and that Bobby was nice enough to let him have this one thing. He cherished it while he could, knowing it would be different when his dad visited. For that reason he decided he should stop panicking so much over things that might not even happen, he should treasure his time with Cas and if going to a Halloween party would make him happy then he would. The more time spent with him the better.

 

**

 

On Friday, Anna waited in the car park looking annoyed as she waited for her siblings. Dean sat watching her from inside the Impala, Sam sat shotgun, they both smiled and waved at her as her patience grew thin. She shot them a nasty look and turned to face the other way. Poor Gabriel got the backlash of her annoyance, she slapped his head when he finally showed up and then slammed the car door behind him. Dean frowned at the treatment of Cas’ little brother. She waited until she realised Castiel was not going to be showing up and then got inside looking pretty annoyed and glaring daggers at Dean, he watched her drive off. 

 

“Well,” spoke Cas from the back seat, sitting up from where he had been hiding. “She looked pissed.” Dean smiled at him through rear-view mirror.

 

“She knows there’s a party tonight, she’s not dumb, and she knows you're going.” Not a lot of people had been invited to their overnight party at The Lakes, including Anna, but Dean was sure she knew about it from Bella who had let it slip.

 

“Your right, she’s just jealous she’s not going.” Cas said, pulling his seat belt on.

 

“Yeah well, I made it clear to Jo that it was either her or you, and I wouldn’t go without you.” Dean was still watching him in the mirror, as soon as his belt clicked in place, he started the car and started to reverse out of his space.

 

“Can I come-?” Sam stared.

 

“No,” Cas and Dean interrupted before he could even finish his sentence. 

 

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Dean fumed. He pulled to a stop as he hit the traffic outside the school gate and stared at his brother annoyed.

 

“Well, there’s only a few of us, it’ll be boring for you, and it’s dangerous at The Lakes.” Cas was obviously trying to make Sam feel like he wasn't going to be missing out. 

 

“What Cas means to say is, hell no, not after last time.”

 

“Erggg,” he groaned loudly. “You guys suck!” he complained.

 

“Quit your bitching, princess.” He didn’t want Sam dragging along with him anyway, he never would have invited him even if he hadn't pissed him off last time he got drunk. He wouldn't be able to relax if Sam was there; he would be too worried watching what he was doing. He was going to have fun, he didn't want to be babysitting. And he really didn't trust any of his school friends with Sam after the whole Ruby thing.

 

**

 

They made sure to eat, they scoffed down burgers and chips as well as a large slice of apple pie each, it was left over from Wednesday but it was still good. Afterwards they locked themselves in Dean’s room; they fooled around, trying to get it all out of their systems before they had to leave. They kissed on Dean’s bed for well over an hour before they both realised what time it was. They reluctantly untangled from each other so they could shower separately. Dean ended up jumping Cas as soon as he walked back in the room, unable to resist dropping to his knees and pushing him back against the door.

 

Finally at nine o’clock they started to get ready. Dean made next to no effort when it came to dressing up, he had bought a few fake weapons from the costume store that they visited, but apart from that he was dressed in his usual jeans, boots and his leather jacket.

 

“What are you anyway? You didn’t even tell me, you just started freaking out over how real that crossbow looks.” The crossbow did look real, it was really cool! How was Cas not freaking out about it? Oh yeah, because of the huge fucking wings he was strapping to his back.

 

“I’m a hunter!” he grinned. Cas rolled his eyes.

 

“You can’t be a hunter on Halloween, it doesn’t even make sense.”

 

“No, I’m a supernatural hunter! You know, like I hunt Vampires and stuff! I can protect us from all the scary mythical things that want to eat us in the woods.” He was really pleased he had managed to come to that conclusion, though Cas was right, he was only saying this because he had wanted that crossbow so bad! He had a few other things, wooden steaks and a fake gun. He thought he looked pretty awesome! And it had only cost him twenty bucks! Though that might have been to do with ridiculous amount of money his boyfriend had spent inside the store. Still, it was a pretty sweet deal. He fiddled with the wire on the bow, trying to figure how it worked, the arrow was hooked on right, maybe it was fake and wouldn't-

 

The arrow flew across the room and embedded itself into one of Cas’ wings.

 

“My hero,” Cas dead panned. “Now help me with these.” The other man had decided to go as an angel, Dean wasn’t sure if it was predictable or not, not everyone knew the origin of Cas’ name. He was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, black boots and a plain long sleeved white shirt. The jeans had Dean tempted to grope his ass every time he turned around, but he resisted because they would never get anything done. He put down the bow and stopped messing around so he could help him tighten the straps across his shoulders. The halo was kind of cheesy but the wings we're so impressive that it distracted the attention from it. He just hoped that no-one would give Cas a hard time for dressing as an angel, it wasn't typically something that guys dressed as. He would be ready to kick anyone’s ass if they mentioned it. Cas had been so excited at the idea, he thought he would look good and he did, in fact he looked really, really hot. He didn't know how he was going to keep his hands to himself.

 

 

**

 

By the time they drove into town ready to meet the others it almost eleven, they had decided to meet up in the mall car park as it was a fairly neutral point for them all. Cas had to sit in the back because his wing span was too large and Dean spent more time looking at the man's reflection than at the road. 

 

Castiel was not helping things at all. 

 

They had to wait around for ten minutes before Bella's Prius was pulling up behind them and flashing her headlights. They just had to wait for Jo and Kevin because they had carpooled, and then that would be everyone. 

 

Bobby had kindly let them borrow a two man tent, and the trunk was full of duvets, pillows, and camping supplies. They were only going for one night but there was no reason not to be prepared. They might be there for a while the next day, he was guessing he would have the hangover of the century. He and Cas gave Bobby twenty dollars each and he had bought them some alcohol. They had been allowed to go on the condition that they kept in touch and neither of them drove until they sobered up in the morning. 

 

He was lucky to get the day off tomorrow since Bobby had hired some more staff, he had been putting it off since he couldn't really afford it but he needed to anyway since Dean was thinking about college. He was training up a new guy this weekend. It meant that Dean had no other plans, well, apart from hanging out with Castiel and church on Sunday. Cas didn't want to go alone and he was curious to see how his parents would react to seeing him.

 

They didn't drive too far off the road when they arrived, just enough so they could keep out of trouble. They all parked up in a large circle and climbed out. There was only a small group of people, all of which Dean recognised from around school or knew personally. Everyone was dressed up and exchanging semi-awkward looks, unsure what to do next.

 

"Tents first, booze later! Come on guys!" a voice ordered. Dean could agree that was logical so kept his head lights on, that way they could set up his tent and not stumble around in the dark. He had to help Cas climb out of the car because of his wings which took a few minutes, everyone was already pulling their tents out and Kevin was sorting out some music. As soon as Cas stepped out of the car a wolf whistled echoed through the air.

 

"You sure polish up, Novak." Cas flushed bright red and looked at the floor nervously at Bella's crude praise. She was sat on her car, already drinking from a wine bottle and in a bright red dress, black boots and a fur coat, she had a pair of horns on her head so it was clear she was a demon or a devil, ha, how appropriate. 

 

Jo jumped out her car and ran over to Cas and Dean, giddy with excitement.

 

"I'm so glad you came! I thought you weren’t going to come! This is going to be so much fun!" she squealed and jumped on Cas, hugging him and kissing his cheek. "Look at you!" She stepped back to look at him properly. "You look amazing!" He was not used to all the attention and his cheeks coloured red.

 

"Are you sure you aren't drunk already?" Dean teased, trying to grab Jo's interest. Cas punched him in the arm and looked offended, but Dean knew he was only pretending, he rubbed his sore arm. Wow, Cas really packed a punch when he wanted to!

 

"Jerk," he muttered, before turning his attention back to Jo. "Thank you, you look very beautiful yourself." Jo flushed and smiled wide.

 

"Where did you get your wings?!" She stroked down one of them, a look of awe on her face.

 

"Dean took me to a fancy dress shop, the one behind Macy's at the mall," he explained. Dean was surprised that he even knew what a Macy's was, when Cas was at the mall he stared in the window displays, oblivious to what the stores actually were or how cheap or expensive they might be.     

 

"Oh, it's so pricey there!" she exclaimed. Cas shrugged.

 

"It was worth it, I saw them and I just needed to have them."

 

"We bought vodka and some beer." Dean interrupted, starting not to like how close Jo was standing to Cas. His boyfriend was getting so popular lately; he wasn't jealous or anything, he just didn't want him to end up getting hurt, girls could be vicious.

 

"I have enough booze to get us all drunk!" She wiggled her eyebrows and dragged them both over to her car. She smirked as she opened her trunk. As promised, inside were two open boxes full of various spirits and mixers.

 

"You stole these from your mom?" Cas asked.

 

"Stole, borrowed, meh," she shrugged. Cas laughed and started pulling some of the spirits out to see what they we’re. Dean left the two of them to mix some drinks in red cups and decided to set up their tent.

 

“Need a hand, brother?” an unfamiliar but friendly voice asked. Dean smiled and shook his head no.

 

“Not really, but thanks, I’m Dean by the way.” He held out his hand to shake with the guy but he didn’t take it, Dean dropped it, the smile faltering on his face. He had seen him around before, he hung around with the guy sat with Kevin, but he couldn't remember that guy’s name either.

 

“Everyone knows who you are, new kid, you’ve pissed off more than a few guys. The girls won’t stop talkin’ about ya, and we haven't decided if this is a good thing or not. I'm really hoping you play for the other team by the way they hang off you.” He smiled as he said it and Dean resisted taking a step backwards. He swallowed thickly, it felt like something was stuck in his throat. What was he supposed to say to that? It was true that the girls followed him around at school but he really didn't mean anything by it, he wasn't trying to steal anyone's girlfriend, and he hadn't meant to piss anyone off. He really didn't like the way this guy was looking at him. He was taller and bigger than him, shoulders wide and arms defined like he lifted weights or something. He had never been so afraid of someone dressed as a crappy vampire in his life.

 

“I don’t know where you heard that but you better keep your mouth shut, I don't need any rumours spreading,” he hissed defensively, trying to stand his ground. "The girl's have free will, I didn't ask them to be friends with me, it just happened, and I don't want any trouble, I thought we were all friends here?" He subconsciously glanced towards Cas who was laughing with Becky and Jo, glad that he hadn't noticed what was happening.

 

“So it’s not true?” he asked, stepping into Dean’s personal space. He didn’t want a confrontation. The guy followed Dean’s line of sight to Cas and grinned knowingly. "People talk about you and Castiel..." He stared at Dean, making him nervous, he broke their gaze first.

 

“Look, I just want you to back off,” he said, squirming out of the way. “I’m not gonna hit on any of the girls and I’m not gay.” The guy looked at him sceptically and then grinned, slapping him on the back. Dean laughed nervously as the guy burst out laughing and pulled him into a hug. 

 

Dean was confused as hell and stood stiff.

 

“I like you, Winchester. You’re funny," he said and clapped his back twice before pulling away. "I don’t give a fuck if you’re gay, man, those guys wanted to know.” He gestured behind him to Kevin and his friend. Garth! The guy with Kevin was Garth. “They’re just too chicken shit to ask. I got dared over here man, I mean no harm. As if they stand a chance with girls like them anyway,” he scoffed.

 

"Oh," Dean smiled awkwardly. He didn't know what to think, it wasn’t the best way to meet someone new, he had been sure there was about to be trouble. Was there trouble? Was he about to die?

 

“Chill, names Benny. And I'm halfway to wasted so ignore me.” He grinned wide, his smile becoming cheeky and then held his own hand out to shake. Dean took it unsurely and gripped it tight once before letting go. “And I’m not dumb,” he stared at him pointedly and then over to Cas. “Real subtle,” he said sarcastically. “Come on friend, I’ll help you with your tent.” Dean had been panicking so much he had forgotten that’s what he was supposed to be doing.

 

He didn't know how long this was going to take, and to be honest Dean spent most of his time cautiously watching what the other guy was doing instead of concentrating on what pole went where. In the end Benny snatched the poles and tent pegs off him and banished him away to get them some drinks. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to leave putting the tent up to the drunken guy but hey, Dean was kind of scared of him so it was the best plan he had right now.  

 

He made his way over to Castiel, glancing back towards Benny every now and then. Cas and Jo we're sat inside her open trunk with a blanket over their lap, Cas' wings were askew and Jo's wig lopsided, they we're laughing, red cheeked and sipping something from a plastic cup.

 

"You started without me," he complained, taking a bottle of whiskey off the floor and making him and Benny a drink as slowly as he could.

 

"We couldn't wait forever," Jo grinned and rolled her eyes. "I see you met Benny, he's a nice guy! He's fun!"

 

"Fun? I thought he was going to stab me," he replied honestly. "I keep expecting him to reach forward and break my neck."

 

"He's kind of terrifying if you don't know him," Jo shrugged.

 

Cas giggled, "You thought Benny would stab you? He's like a teddy bear," he laughed, holding his hands out wide. "A big, bear-y, teddy bear," he broke off laughing as Jo looked at him baffled and then smothered her giggles on his shoulder.

 

"Fuck, what are you even drinking?" he asked in disbelief.

 

"I don't even know," Cas muttered and stared down at his empty cup, confused. His nose wiggled and it was cute. Dean smiled fondly and put his own two cups on the floor, he took Cas' beaker and sniffed it, he immediately coughed as a strong smell hit his nose.

 

"Guys," he gasped. "This is like fucking rocket fuel or something. It smells awful. What did you put in it?"

 

"Everything," Cas said seriously.

 

"Yes, everything," Jo mimicked. She then shakily stood up and pulled Cas with her. "WOOOOO! I love this song!" She started bouncing on her toes and dancing, forcing Cas to join her as she guided his movements. "Turn it up Kev!" Dean rolled his eyes and picked his drinks back up to go and check on Benny and make sure he hadn't slashed his tires.

 

He was being paranoid about Benny. When he got back to his tent he was surprised to see it was finished.

 

"Thanks, man!" he said, handing the guy a drink, genuinely surprised. It would have taken him twice as long to put it up.

 

"No problem, dude! Me and my dad go camping all the time! This stuff's a piece of cake to me. I'm gonna go save Garth though, but I'll see you later. Don't be shy Winchester, get your drink on." He winked and walked off. That guy was seriously strange. He double checked everything with the tent. "Huh," he mumbled, it was fine. He really had got the guy wrong; maybe he was just a blunt person? 

 

He grabbed some more things from the trunk and dumped it all inside the tent. He climbed in and spent a few minutes laying down mats and trying to make it as comfortable as possible before he was too drunk. He sat for a few minutes admiring his handy work. While he was still thinking straight, he texted Bobby to let him know they had arrived and had set up camp, it would stop him from worrying. He could hear everyone starting to get rowdy outside, Bella was squealing in delight, the music was steadily creeping higher and he could hear Jo and Cas singing. He sat just inside the threshold of the entrance of the tent and grabbed his drink.

 

He really needed to catch up with everyone...

 

It was cold but the alcohol burned Dean’s throat as he drank from his cup, it warmed his gut and gave his mind a pleasant buzz. He was happy watching everyone for a minute.

 

Jo was still dancing in her car with Cas, she was dressed as some kind of Goddess, a black wig on, a flower crown and a pretty white dress, she had been wearing shoes earlier but they lay on the floor under them. Bella was hanging off Benny, the two dirty dancing and making Dean's eyes go wide, he had not expected that combination! Maybe it was the alcohol... His eyes drifted over to Garth who was trying to chat up Becky (and failing); he was dressed in some kind of military uniform, it looked genuine and drowned him to the point Dean wondered if his dad worked in the forces, he would have to remember to ask him about it. Kevin was dressed as a zombie, face paint smeared across his skin and sat nodding his head along to the music. Lilith was here as well, and the rest of the people in Jo's circle of friends but he wasn't too interested in talking to them. There we’re a few girl’s who we’re dressed in clichéd costumes, one girl with dark hair was dressed as a nurse and another a cheerleader, but one girl who had bright red hair was dressed as what appeared to be the Tardis from Dr. Who. He made note to go and talk to her at some point tonight.

 

He sat by himself until his drink was empty and then opened one of the cans of beer that Bobby had bought him and Cas. He steadily made his way through a few while people-watching.

 

"Dudes, we should make a campfire!" Garth exclaimed. "We need more light, we can't keep the cars on, we'll drain our batteries." That was a point, he needed to turn his off. He hauled himself to his feet, starting to feel giddy from the drinks and grabbed the lamps Bobby had given him, he hung one inside the tent and put one on the hood of his car. 

 

He watched everyone laughing as Benny made the fire, Garth was trying to help but was hindering him.

 

"Garth, you need to get out my face," he snapped. Dean was impressed by how coherent Benny was, he was wobbling around dangerously but apparently could speak perfect English while wasted. In the time he had drunk two drinks, and started his third, Benny had drunk about six and done several shots with Bella.

 

"I'm helping! I’m helping!" Garth cried, accidently knocking Benny's lighter out of his hands.

 

"Kev, grab some rope, we're tying him to a tree." Kevin grinned like a maniac and started chasing the small guy round in circles making the girls scream and cheer until Benny grabbed him as he ran past and picked him up. Garth screamed for his life like a girl.

 

Thankfully, Benny didn't tie anyone to any trees. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the lovely feedback I have been getting! I'm 10 comments away from 500!!! WOW!! I love you guys!!
> 
> part two will be posted soon!! :)


	43. Chapter Seventeen - Part Two

An hour passed quickly and Dean joined everyone around the surprisingly well made campfire. Cas looked stunning, the flames were flickering warm light across his handsome features and Dean couldn’t stop staring. Cas was sat next to Kevin, happily chatting away. It was the first time he has ever seen him so relaxed around other people. He wasn’t even like this around Gabriel. Though it might have something to do with the fact he was holding a bottle of tequila hostage. 

 

Who the hell had gave him tequila? And why didn’t' _he_ have any?

 

It was as if Jo read his mind, because right at that moment, she caught his eye from where she sat with Bella and then wiggled her eyebrows at him and winked. He wanted to kill her... but in a fond way? 

 

Okay, the alcohol was really going to his head.

 

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Becky stood up on the hood of Jo's car to get everyone’s attention.

 

“That’s so lame.” Lilith rolled her eyes.

 

“Say’s you-"

 

"Break it up ladies, truth or dare sounds awesome." Dean yelled before they could start fighting again, it turns out a drunken Becky and Lilith are not a good combination, they had been fighting earlier. Everyone eventually agreed and they all sat closer together, Cas jumped up to come and sit by Dean. They sat close for the first time that night, it made Dean feel warmer than all of the drinks he had drank. Cas leaned back on his hands and slowly, carefully, slipped his hand under the back of Dean's coat. He ran it across his skin, back and forth, unknown to the people surrounding them. Dean's heart beat double-time in his chest, he turned and smiled stupidly at his friend, he was happy when it was returned.

 

And that's when the real fun started; they used an empty bottle like they had at the last party when they had played the same game. They started with Lilith, and the game was fairly mild for a few turns. It became a rule for everyone to take a shot after each turn as the game went on, and they progressively got more rowdy. Luckily Dean didn't get roped in for a while, because the dares started to get _insane_.

 

Lilith was happy to have started, getting one of the easier ones. She had been dared to take off her bra and was now wearing it over her dress. But poor Becky had streaked in her underwear and was now wrapped in a sleeping bag and covered in lipstick and eyeliner. The girls had pulled out their makeup bags and everyone had signed her, she was covered in kiss marks. Dean drew a heart on her butt and wrote 'DW was here' underneath it, which was one of the more reserved things that everyone else had done. Benny had done a man-challenge with Garth and they had raced each other to the top of a tree and then jumped out of it. Garth was now wearing his clothes backwards and wasn't allowed to speak anymore but could only bark, and every time he spoke Lilith made him have a shot. Everyone laughed because the spinning bottle kept landing on him, but he took it all in good spirit. There were some very interesting photos on everyone's phones, though they had promised not to put them on facebook.

 

The bottle landed on Cas and he pouted.

 

"Castiel! Truth or dare!" Cas  looked like a deer caught in headlights.

 

"Erm..." he stumbled over his words and looked to Dean for an answer. He smiled at him encouragingly.

 

"Can I get away with a truth?" he asked, laughing and hiding his face.

 

"Don’t do it, get out alive while you can," Kevin croaked. He had chosen truth and they made him drink something lethally alcoholic, and a little but luminous, and now he looked green.

 

 "Are you going to get me to do something hideous?" he complained and Dean laughed at him. Jo got an evil look on her face and then crawled over to him to whisper something in his ear. He looked surprised for a second and then nodded with a grin spreading on his face.

 

"What did she say?!"

 

"Nothing!" he smiled secretively.

 

"No wait! What was Castiel's dare?" Benny cried.

 

"Leave it! Everyone take their shot!" she yelled, and then leant forwards to spin the bottle again, it landed on the girl that Dean had been drawn to earlier, he was sure people had been calling her Charlie but he was calling her Tardis-Girl in his head.

 

Everyone drank and soon forgot all about Cas' dare. It wasn't until a screaming match started between some of the girl's that it became apparent. Cas nudged him and smiled, took a deep drink from a bottle of Jack Daniels and the slammed it back on the floor.

 

"Ohhhh, _fuck,"_ Cas rough voice vibrated next to him. Dean turned to him wide eyed and Benny spat his drink all over the floor. What the fuck was he doing? "Mmmm, ahhhh, ahhh," Dean was pretty sure his jaw hit the floor. _"Fuck, oh my god_ ," Cas moaned deep and loud and then bit into his lip, breathing heavy and then throwing his head back. "Ohhh, yeah, fuck," he gasped. Everyone started laughing and Bella squealed.

 

"Oh my god, I didn't think he would do it!" Jo giggled.

 

Cas looked straight at him as he started to moan in a slightly higher pitch, the exact way he had sounded the first time Dean had fingered him and he was close to coming. Dean's cheeks flooded with heat and he felt his dick start to harden. Cas even had his facial expression perfect. For fucks sake! Did he have to make it look so real? He was holding nothing back as he faked his way through an orgasm. Dean wasn’t sure if he wanted to crawl in a hole and die because he now had a boner in front of all these people, or to crawl into his tent with Cas and fuck him until those pretty sounds were real. Cas ended spectacularly and it sounded so real that for a second Dean thought the guy might have creamed his pants. Cas stood and bowed to everyone as they exploded into cheers and wolf whistles, and clapped his performance.

 

“Thanks guys!” he grinned, and then sat back down. Cas grinned at Dean knowingly and then took his shot. He spun the bottle and it landed on Dean. He gulped, how was he supposed to top that?!

 

"Come one, Dean! Truth or dare?" Lilith sang.

 

"Dare," he grinned, drinking deeply from Cas' tequila.

 

"I dare you..." She looked around at everyone. "Suggestions? What do we get new kid to do?"

 

"Castiel, you pick something!” Benny yelled. “Come on, now we know you’re no angel!” Cas smiled and looked around the group closely.

 

“Dean... I dare you... to swap clothes with Jo.” It was official; he was going to kill him. He glared at Cas who wiggled his eyebrows. “Go on Dean, go show everyone what a pretty princess you are.” He laughed and then pulled a face.

 

“For how long?” he asked, could he really wear a dress? He didn’t want to refuse, it was really funny and evilly creative of Cas.

 

“I dunno, like an hour,” Cas shrugged.

 

Jo was too drunk to care, she skipped off and climbed into the back of Dean’s car.

 

“Come on! I’m freezing my tits off here!” she yelled and Cas pushed him away to make him get up. Dean followed her reluctantly, trying his best not to freak out. When he climbed in the back she was already undressed and ducked down low. “Give me your shirt!” He pulled his coat off and then his shirt and threw them at her, politely adjusting his eyes.

 

“So, you guys are good again? You’re like a freaking rollercoaster, you’re so cute though.” She said as she pulled his shirt over her head. “You went so red when he was moaning, I thought you we’re gonna get a nosebleed.”

  
“Yeah well, you have your boyfriend moan like that and not get a little worked up. I’m freaking human.” He pulled his jeans off, and dangled them in front of her face.

 

“Dean, I’m joking, I was worked up after that! I’m pretty sure I’ve got a lady boner right now.” She laughed and he nudged her playfully. Once she was dressed she helped him pull the dress on over his head and then try and arrange it so hung properly. She took her flower crown off and put it on his head, a silly grin on her face. “So pretty,” she giggled. “Come on, go strut your stuff, Winchester.”

 

He pushed her out of the car first and then followed her, stumbling out and feeling like a complete dick, but unable to stop laughing when he saw everyone’s faces. He posed and walked wiggling his hips as if he was on a catwalk. Benny whistled at him and then ran towards him, Dean bolted in the opposite direction but wasn’t quick enough. Benny slobbered all over him as he tried to plant a kiss on his cheek, everyone laughing and clapping around them.

 

“Eww,” Dean complained and then sat back down next to Cas who was laughing so hard he had given himself hiccups. When he stopped he had another shot and Dean noticed Benny was spinning the bottle which meant that had been a dare. Phew.

 

The bottle landed on Cas again.

 

"I dare you to make out with..." Dean heart caught in his throat, he hadn't been expecting that, and neither had Cas because he was looking at Dean uncomfortably. 

 

"Bella!" Becky volunteered.

 

"No, Becky!" Lilith snapped.

 

“Why not?” Bella protested, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

 

"Why can't he make out with you?" Lilith argued. Garth looked so jealous at the suggestion; he looked like he was trying to kill Cas with his mind.

 

"Ew, no! I don't wanna make out with Castiel!"

 

"Cas is hot, you're obviously blind-" 

 

Cas laughed softly. "Thank you ladies," he said, interrupting them. "But I don't plan on making out with anyone, can't I take a forfeit?" The girl's looked like someone had died, they all groaned in disappointment.

 

"STRIP!" Bella yelled, and the girls started cheering. The guys rolled their eyes and started a separate conversation, ignoring the girl's as they started to chant at Cas. The man looked desperately at Dean

 

“Save me?” he asked under his breath, looking mildly horrified.

 

“Just do it, I don't care, it’ll be fun," Dean replied. He smiled and patted him on the back.

 

“You don’t mind?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Dude, you can strip as long as I can get out of this dress.”

 

“Deal!” They shook hands and then helped each other to their feet, Cas wobbling like crazy. Dean went to find Jo and asked to have his clothes back, she pouted and moaned she was too cold and then gave him puppy dog eyes. He sighed and went to his tent to find his spare set, he could only find his pyjamas, so he pulled on a pair of Cas’ skinny jeans. They exaggerated his bow legs but he didn’t give a fuck, he pulled on a shirt and sulked over his lost leather jacket.

 

He climbed back out and grabbed the bottle of tequila, leaving poor Cas to fend for himself. He walked into the trees to go for a piss, wobbling slightly and having to hang on to some of them. The chant of "strip, strip, strip!" followed him. He wasn't lying, he didn't care about Cas stripping from them, it was only a dare, but that didn't mean he wanted to watch everyone drooling over his man. When he thought he was far enough he relieved himself, but then hung around longer than necessary. He noticed the music change and a deep beat echoed through the air and suddenly the girl's we're going wild. 

 

Wow, after Benny's 'Little Chat' with him earlier, he knew Cas would not popular tomorrow. That's if he even remembered half of what had happened. He wasn't even sure how much he had drunk but he was feeling pretty far gone and Cas had drank more than him.

 

When he returned, Cas was dancing provocatively on the roof of the Impala, hips swaying and pants gone, his unbuttoned shirt hanging loose, and his boxers leaving nothing to anyone's imagination. It should be illegal to look that good. And the way he was grinding against the air... seriously. How was he supposed to keep his hands to himself when he was acting like that?! 

 

He truly looked like some fucked up version of an angel, a fallen angel maybe.

 

"I dare Lilith to make out with Bella!" Benny yelled, turning everyone’s attention away from Cas. Lilith and Bella jumped each other at the same time and both went tumbling to the floor, Dean was worried they we're hurt for a second before he realised they weren't groaning in pain, they we're dry humping each other with their lips stuck together. Six months ago this would have been a dream come true, but not now. He walked around his cheering friends and over to Cas who was lost in his own world.

 

"Cas?" He stepped forwards and drunkenly held out his arms to his friend, planning on helping him down, while everyone’s attention was elsewhere (yeah, those girl's were really going for it), he could maybe sneak off with Cas. His mind was thick with a fog from the alcohol and this man was so beautiful, it would be a shame not to worship him. He couldn't think of anything else. He just wanted a kiss before they both passed out.

 

Castiel turned around and smiled, he put the bottle on the car and then straightened back up, one of his hand cupping himself through his underwear, rubbing over his bulge unashamed as he looked down at Dean.

 

"You look really hot right now," he moaned. Dean squeaked and tried to pull his boyfriend down, he ended up almost pulling him off the car and had a face full of feathers. He looked behind him quickly and was glad to see that everyone was having too much of a good time to be interested in what he was doing. Cas was sat on the top of the car still, he decided to just pull him onto his shoulder and then run away with him. So Dean put Cas' boots back on for him and then he did exactly that.

 

"Oh, fuck, put me down! You're going to drop me!" Cas yelled. He ignored him as he manoeuvred through the trees to try and find a peaceful spot. He placed him down carefully and Cas giggled and fell into him. "That was fun," he grinned before kissing Dean soundly, not giving him a chance to even speak before his hands we're everywhere. "I didn't kiss them, and I didn't let them touch," he gasped, speaking frantically between kisses. "That's why I climbed on the car. I don't want anyone else, just you Dean, I want you so bad, fuck," he babbled. Dean had been half hard after Cas’ moaning stunt earlier so now he was already hard inside his jeans. He moaned into Cas mouth and the other man took it as an invitation to lick inside, pressing his tongue against Dean's and pushing his body close.

 

Dean rolled his hips, trying to rub himself against Cas' thick erection; it was straining against the flimsy material of his boxers.

 

"Are you sure this is a good idea? What happened to no public sex? Because that seems like a bad idea right now." Cas was dragging his teeth across Dean's jugular, then licking a stripe up to his ear, he bit into his ear lobe.

 

"I want you to fuck me, baby please-" Dean babbled, he didn't care anymore. His head was spinning in the most pleasant way. This felt so good, but he needed more, so much more. And Cas was unbelievable, his skin cool and smooth under his fingertips and his mouth and hand eager as he touched Dean.

 

"Whoa, you guys are so fucking hot," gasped a female voice. Cas stepped back so quickly that Dean stumbled forwards. They then both froze, and turned to see who it was.

 

Dean let out a relieved breath. "Fuck, Jo! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

 

"Well, don't stop on my account!" she replied, drinking out of a Malibu bottle with a straw.

 

Cas shrugged and winked at her, “Okay!” he smiled. He stepped forwards, crowding into Dean’s space and kissing him deeply again. He stood still, not sure how to respond with Jo watching, trying to process if this was a good idea. The alcohol was clouding his judgement and within seconds he was opening his mouth and welcoming Cas’ kisses, be damned if Jo was watching or not.

 

“Mmm,” Cas moaned and gripped Dean’s ass, slowly lifting him from the floor and pressing him back into the tree. Dean hooked his thighs on Cas’ hips and grinned. He liked it when Cas picked him up, he didn’t do it very often. Their bodies we’re aligned together and Dean wrapped his arms around Cas neck securely.

 

"Wonder if I can fuck you like this..." the man muttered against his lips, the words made Dean’s head fuzzy with arousal and desire.

 

"Don't tease, we can't," Dean protested, biting gently into Cas’ lip. Cas hoisted him up a little higher, getting a firmer grip on his, and rolled his hips seductively, pressing his erection against Dean’s.

 

It was a pretty convincing argument.

 

"Fuck it, just touch me," he demanded.

 

"What do you want me to do, Dean? What me to suck you?" he whispered and he nodded eagerly in response.

 

Cas placed him back on the floor, and it took a few seconds for him to take in his surroundings and realise what was going on. He scanned the space around them quickly, noticing that Jo had wandered off.

 

“Good, Jo’s gone...” he muttered to himself. Suddenly Cas was unzipping his jeans and dropping to the floor. Dean sighed in sweet relief at his cock being released from the tight restraint. Cas pressed his face to his underwear and sucked on the wet head of his cock through the material of his underwear, soaking the material and making Dean gasp. He ran his hands gently through Cas’ hair and then grabbed a handful, holding him in place.

 

"Guys! Stop! I don't need to see that!" They groaned in unison at the sound hearing Jo’s voice again. Cas flopped forwards and sighed, curling his arms around Dean's thighs. Dean death glared at Jo until she giggled, taking in the sight of the two.

 

"Can you not see we're busy?" Dean complained, Cas was so close, his face resting against Dean's hip as he breathed deep and tried to steady himself. "Shut up, I thought you might wanna know everyone is playing hide and seek."

 

"I really, really have other things on my mind at the moment Jo. I don't really want to play."

 

"Well, that’s a shame, because it's you two that everyone is looking for, so suggest you put your dicks away unless you want to get caught." That quickly sobered them up, and Dean was pulling Cas to his feet and trying to zip his pants back up without getting his dick caught in the zipper.

 

“Shit,” Cas grumbled and grabbed Dean’s hand. Jo collapsed into giggles on the floor as she watched them run back towards the camp.

 

“Run, Forest, run!” she yelled after them. It was just in time because Dean could hear the other stumbling down the hill.

 

“Don’t think I’m leaving you alone,” Cas grinned and tugged Dean forwards by their entwined fingers; they kissed again breathlessly.

 

“Save it for the tent, you perv. As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, I’m sure our friends don’t.”

 

“Jo loved it, we should have charged her,” Cas grinned cheekily and Dean slapped his arm. He pulled away and let go of Cas’ hand, he tried to put his hands into his pockets but found that Cas’ jean’s we’re far too tight and gave up.

 

“Shut up, since when are you such an exhibitionist.”

 

“A what?” Cas looked at him clueless and Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“Nothing, baby,” he muttered, smiling at the floor.

 

They settled back in front of the fire, Bella was sat alone smoking a cigarette, and raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

 

“What?” Cas laughed, and she shrugged and looked away, a jealous expression on her face. They ignored her and sat and arm wrestled until the others got back, strangely enough Cas won. “Stop cheating, you dick!”

 

They stayed up for another hour until everyone started getting tired and falling asleep. The others that remained awake we’re reading creepy pasta from their phones and it was freaking Cas out a little, so Dean nudged him and stood up so they could sneak off to bed.

 

They had to untie Cas’ wings before they could go inside the tent, they couldn’t undo the knots so tried to pull them off like a shirt from his arms but ended up falling on the floor. Eventually they slipped off and Dean had to try and find his car keys to put them on the back seat. This turned into a mission of trying to get them out of his jacket while Jo was still wearing it and asleep. Twenty minutes later they stumbled into the tent, falling over each other and collapsing into a giggling heap.

 

“This was a good idea, I’m glad we came,” Cas declared loudly. “And I know something else, you should be coming right about now,” Cas grinned, speaking quietly so only Dean could hear, then shoved his hand up Dean’s shirt and leaned in to kiss him. Dean laughed at Cas’ terrible pun and pushed him away gently. Sexy times with Cas sounded like a brilliant idea but he needed to close the tent. His school friends seeing his bare ass was not a good idea. “Come on, Dean,” Cas giggled.

 

“We need to close the tent!” Dean hissed, trying to stop laughing. He bent over and tried to sort it but the zip kept moving, though it might have been because his hand kept slipping.

 

“Come ‘ere,” Cas slurred, trying to pull him backwards from behind and trying to undo his jeans.

 

“Tent,” he clarified, but Cas wasn’t bothered, instead he concentrated on undoing Dean’s pants from behind and rubbing his dick through his boxers. “Fuck,” he gasped softly and then glared at Cas. “You could help.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes and zipped it straight away. “You’re a fucking idiot,” he laughed and then switched off the light. “Now get naked,” he whispered into his ear. Dean couldn’t agree on a statement more.

 

He could relax now the tent was closed, it was only a thin material but it made him feel so much better.

 

They kicked their shoes off, and within minutes of them climbing under one of the many duvets, Cas was laying Dean down gently and settling his knee's on either side of him, towering over him and making Dean tremble in anticipation.

 

“Missed you,” Cas told him and the words made Dean’s mouth dry.

 

“I’ve been with you all night,” he replied.

 

“I know, but it’s not the same as when we’re alone,” he clarified.

 

Cas confidently straddled him and started brushing his hands soothingly through Dean's hair. Dean was quickly melting, sinking back into the duvet under him and let his eyes flutter closed. He was sensitive, perceptive to every little touch, every soft scrape of Cas' blunt nails across his scalp. Everything was amplified and he found himself breathing deeply already as Cas appreciated him. He could not stop the soft sound that fell from him lips; almost inaudible but enough that Cas could hear his praise.

 

"Shhh..." he hushed, and Dean did not dare say a thing, he bit into his plump bottom lip to stifle the sound. "I'm going to take care of you," Cas whispered. Dean nodded, eager for him to carry out his promise. He was needy for his touch, for his kiss. He could still feel the phantom caress of his kisses from their not-so-secret rendezvous in the woods earlier, his lips felt swollen and he wanted to taste Cas' sweet kisses once more.

 

Cas had comfortably settled his weight across his lover's thighs, it became clear they were both hard as Cas curved his body over Dean's, pressing their chests together. Dean stared at him wide eyed, his breath hitching, knowing what was to come. It was dark and he couldn't see very well, but his eyes had adjusted to the lack of camp light quickly and if he focused could see the relaxed, happy look on his boyfriend's handsome face as he looked adoringly down at him. His heart skipped at the expression, pleased that he still had this effect on Castiel, that he was no closer to growing bored of him and their feelings were still strong. 

 

Cas' hands settled, cradling his face as he closed the space between them, kissed him intensely, open mouthed and deep. He tasted of a mix of alcohol that he didn't recognise, it was a foreign taste but not unwelcome, there was still the unique taste of Cas that he craved. Dean sighed into his mouth, conscious at the level of noise, the fact that this was the first time that they really, really had to be silent. He could still hear the girl's whispering, but the sounds of nature around them was something more pleasant to concentrate on, so it was easy to block out. 

 

He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol speaking, but it felt intimate; the situation shouldn't be, due to being in a tent in the middle of the woods, there was nothing romantic about that. But the atmosphere between the two of them was thrilling, if not a little hazy, as if everything was fuzzy around the edges. Cas felt it to, his touches a little off centre, little too rough even as he tried to be gentle, he was fumbling slightly.

 

His skin was chilled from the cold air, but Cas' touch made him feel fevered. He grabbed a fistful of Cas' hair, silently begging him for more. He needed more of that heat. He rolled his hips up, grinding himself up against Cas' erection and starting a rhythm between them, their lips still connected. Cas rolled his hips against him, angling better than Dean could, it was slow and hard and igniting deep sparks of pleasure throughout him.

 

Cas slipped a hand between them, palming at Dean's cock through his jeans, feeling the length and breaking from their kiss to pant into his mouth.

 

"I fucking love your dick," he moaned softly, causing him to arch into the touch.

 

"Too many clothes," Dean gasped, tugging at Cas' jeans and boxers. It was too cold to take their shirts off so they both left them but they stripped their bottom halves of clothes within seconds, their pants pushed out the bottom of the duvet. Then their cocks we're touching and it was fucking glorious. Dean couldn't help himself; he grabbed a handful of Cas' ass, and forced him closer. Dean palmed the flesh, unable to resist the temptation of running his thumb down the crack of his ass. Cas shivered above him, sucking hard at the skin on Dean's neck and encouraging Dean's wandering hands.

 

Cas licked a trail up Dean's neck, to his ear, breathing softly over him, making him shiver and then biting gently into the cartilage. "Want you inside me," he gasped softly. "Wanna feel your fingers fucking up into me," Dean nodded and let his thumb stoke further down, rubbing dry over Cas' hole. "Been thinking about it," he gasped, his breath laboured as he struggled to speak as quietly as he could, so their activities could remain unknown to their friends.

 

"We don't have lube," Dean reasoned. It could be easily substituted, saliva would work for now, but he wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Cas pulled away, resting his weight back into Dean's thighs. Dean sat up onto his elbows and raised an eyebrow at the sly smirk that was playing across the other man's lips.

 

"I bought supplies," he grinned, reaching over for his backpack and pulling out lube and condoms. He placed them proudly in the empty space of their makeshift bed.

 

"Are you fucking with me?" Dean muttered, taken back that Cas had been so presumptuous. Whoa, was it that predictable that he was such slut for him? ...he really didn't care. "I fucking love you, now get down here." He gripped Cas firmly and pulled him down, their lips crashing back together, their hands smothering each other with touches.

 

He was in a dream, his world spinning around him, out of control and shifting unpredictably, and at the centre of it was Cas. The way he hands we're gripping tight, how his breath was ghosting over his skin, his touch was toxic.

 

"I have an idea," Cas moaned, pulling away and raising onto his knees. He placed a hand on Dean's chest, holding him down as he braced himself. 

 

"What are you doing?" Cas silenced him with look.

 

The other man was reaching for the lube, squirting a generous amount into his right hand and then watching Dean’s reaction as he reached between his legs and let his fingers disappear as he slicked himself up. Dean licked his lips, his face growing considerably warmer. His eyes suddenly transfixed as he noticed Cas' wrist moving rhythmically back and forth. 

 

_He was fingering himself._

 

Surely the drink had gone to his head and he was seeing things? Dean gulped thickly and reached forwards, unable to believe what was happening. Cas let it happen, let his hand glide over his own as he thrust two fingers deep inside himself, Dean could feel them as they disappeared and he pressed a finger at Cas' wet rim.  At the simple touch, Dean could feel it affected his partner deeply, his weight pressing Dean drastically down as he leant on his chest.

 

"Fuck," Cas mouthed, and then dipped his head down, capturing his lips again. 

 

Dean's cock was dripping precome at the thought that Cas did this regularly enough to easily take two fingers. His hole was hot, burning under his cold fingers and he was pretty sure he could press one of his own digits in alongside Castiel's. He rubbed around it and felt how slick the muscle was, so when Cas pulled out and was thrusting back inside, Dean's index finger joined and Cas bit into his lips hard, gasping and panting into Dean's mouth. 

 

"More, yes," he encouraged, speaking the words against Dean's lips.

 

His heart was out of control, beating furiously in his chest, it had been so long since he had touched Cas this way, and he had forgotten how responsive he was. He was so proud that he was doing such a good job at saying quiet, though Cas' touch was speaking volumes at what he was feelings, he didn't need to hear his moans because he could feel them. He knew how much he was enjoying himself by the way he couldn't quite keep up with their kisses, that his tongue plunged just a little too deep into Dean's mouth, making it sloppy, and the way his fingers we're pressing inside deeply, his thighs shaking as he started to fuck himself harder, hips rolling down to meet his hand.

 

Cas gave up, hand slipping from himself and falling with a wet and undignified splat onto Dean's chest with the other. Dean took it as an opportunity; not missing a beat he replaced Cas' missing fingers with his own, pressing three insistently into his boyfriend and making him squirm in delight as he gently searched for the place inside him that would make him see stars.

 

"I love you," Cas whispered, biting into Dean's lip again to silence his cries, and scratching his nails down the length of his chest, overwhelmed as he seeked purchase for a sweet release. Dean whimpered at the unfamiliar sensation, each scratch had caused a tingling to bleed along the tortured skin.

 

Cas was fumbling, his hand reaching for something to the side of them. Dean watched him shove a shiny wrapper between his teeth and rip; desperate to open the condom... it went flying. Dean pushed Cas up and removed his hand, reaching blindly for it and then trying to open another, his hands we're too slick with lube. It was useless, it ended up joining the other, lost somewhere inside the dark tent.

 

Damn.

 

"Fuck it, just leave it, leave it," Cas cursed. Dean's heart sank in disappointment, he was so sure they had been going to - Cas gripped Dean's member firmly at the base and he hovered above him. He looked down at Dean for confirmation. He stared up at him gob smacked. "Well?" he asked impatiently. "Can I...?" Cas was already pressing the head of Dean's cock against him and he held his breath in anticipation. How was he supposed to think clearly with that heat pressing against him?

 

 

"Fuck, yes," he gasped.

 

Cas licked his lips and watched Dean’s reaction as he spread his knees slightly and guided Dean’s member inside.

 

Dean's first thought was how hot and tight it was, and his second, that there was so much skin. He could feel everything. Who knew that one latex layer could make such a difference? He wasn't sure what he was even feeling, it was like he was drowning in sensation, it was un-fucking-believable. He knew it was a bad idea, a bad, bad idea; but all he could do was bite his lip and try not to buck up into the slick heat that was gripping him so deliciously. It was like nothing he had ever experienced.

 

Cas was looking straight at him, he was open mouthed in surprise, his expression unreserved. He was gorgeous, his eyes smiling in genuine delight at what he was doing. Then finally, Dean was buried deep inside him and Cas was sat flat against him. He rocked experimentally and Dean watched him mouth, “Oh my fucking God,” as his eyes fell shut. His hands returned, braced heavily on Dean's chest.

 

 

Dean lay frozen, it was kind of a lot to process and it took him a couple of minutes to realise it was actually happening and not one of his many dreams. Cas opened his eyes and peered down at him, so honest and open.

 

And then they started to move.

 

It was clumsy and messy and it took a while for Cas to get into a rhythm. Dean tried to help by softly grinding up, but they didn't meet very well so he let Cas get used to the intrusion and take over. The other man moved slowly, lifting himself until just the head of Dean's cock was inside and then sinking back down. It felt good, really good and Dean struggled to keep quiet, it felt like his brain was melting through his dick, all he could think about was Cas and it was magical.

 

After a few minutes he could feel his lovers thighs start to tremble, unused to the strain, and Cas removed his hands, no longer pinning Dean down. He tried to sit up but ended falling back into the sheets, his body felt like liquid. Cas had stopped moving, adjusting again.

 

"What should I do?..." Cas whispered, and Dean strained to hear him.

 

"Just have fun, do whatever you want…" Dean gasped, trying his best not to come. Cas sat on his dick, even if he wasn't moving, was still overwhelming. And it didn't help matters that the gorgeous man was now staring down at where they were connected, he started to watch as he ground his ass against Dean, fascinated; his left hand playing with his dick that was sticking up proudly between his legs.

 

"Fuck, f-fuck yourself on me..." Dean mouthed, gripping his hips and encouraging him. Cas nodded. He leaned back, one of his hands gripping Dean's strong thigh tight as he jacked himself off. Something changed: the angle, instead of resting on the balls of his feet, he flattened them and suddenly he was pressed closer, sat properly, and his weight predominant against him. Cas started to rock, selfishly riding him, his hips rolling hard and fast and Dean groaned softly.

 

He was hyper aware of the sound, their breathing was heavy but under control. Cas was biting into his lips dangerously hard and looking at Dean desperately, everything he was feeling written clearly on his face. He could tell that Cas was going to come by the way he looked, Cas' orgasm face was the hottest thing he had ever seen and he had been seeing it a lot lately. Dean held back his own orgasm, the effort of it making him tense but he wanted Cas to come first, and he wasn’t sure if he should pull out or not.

 

“B-baby...” he stuttered. “What should I do? I’m gunna come.” He gripped Cas hips hard, trying to make him slow down but his pace was relentless. “Fuck, Castiel, I mean it, I can’t-“

 

“Inside,” he whispered dirtily. “Wanna feel it.”

 

It was the final straw, Dean gripped Cas by his biceps hard and pulled him, he tumbled forwards. As soon as he was lying against him, shocked at the sudden change of position, Dean covered the man’s mouth with his hand and pressed hard to muffle the sound he knew was going to happen. He smirked and was delighted as Cas’ eyes widened. He rolled them, dick still buried deep and grabbed one of the smaller man’s legs, forcing it to his shoulder and making him open wide. He knew Cas was flexible, he could handle it. He slammed into him as hard as he could without their bodies slapping together, his lover’s eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lost control. Cas was a mess underneath him, his hands scratching lines down Dean’s back and hips bucking as he tried to take more.

 

It was over in seconds, Cas’ dick spasming against his stomach and spurting hot come between them and Dean tipped over the edge as he felt it, coming inside him deep and feeling his own seed flood Cas.

 

They pressed their lips together, sighing in their afterglow, and held the caress until Dean started to go soft and they had to move. They untangled slowly, both not making a sound and trying to calm their rapid breaths their first priority. Had anyone heard them? No. He could still hear chatter and the wind was still loud. If anything was heard they would have been busted by now. They exchanged smiles and Dean sat back onto his heels and stared at the mess Cas was, his leg’s still open and his hole on display, swollen and open, wet and his come dripping from it.

 

He could not believe what had just happened.

 

“Do we have a tissue?” Cas broke the silence and raised his ass, trying not to get jizz on the sheets. It snapped him out of his trance.

 

“Er, yeah.” He fumbled around, trying to grab his bag and then handed some to Cas. He adjusted his eyes for a second, and settled for grabbing the pyjamas they had packed. He pulled his shirt off, shivering at the cold and then got dressed, he threw a pair at Cas.

 

They settled a few minutes later and snuggled together under the many layers that Dean had laid down to make them comfortable. The floor was still hard but it was better than nothing.

 

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, he needed to know before he passed out. Cas nodded against his chest.

 

“’m so drunk,” he mumbled.

 

“Me too, but what we did was okay, right?”

 

“Stop worrying,” he pulled away from where he was hiding under Dean’s chin and scooted up so they were face to face. He leaned in and kissed him. “Why do you worry so much? You are so sweet,” he spoke against his lips.

 

“I don’t know,” he replied.

 

“I love you, relax.” He felt the words instead of hearing them and hooked his leg over Cas’ hip so he could move closer. Dean sighed, content and cupped Cas’ jaw, kissing him softly. They kissed until they slowly drifted off together, unable to keep their eyes open any longer.


	44. Chapter Eighteen - Part One

“Oh, fuck!”

 

Dean frowned in sleepy confusion as he was woken by the loud exclamation of the curse word, he pulled the duvet from his face in search of the voice. It was too bright for it to be comfortable for his eyes and he groaned, not believing it was already morning, it felt as if he hadn’t slept at all! Though he guessed that camping in the woods, while drunk, would do that to you.

 

“Cas!” he called out softly, trying to sit up, he finally managed it after realizing he wasn’t in danger of being sick. The man was stood outside and attempting to brush his teeth, Dean pulled at the tent flap to try further see him properly.

 

“I feel like crap,” he replied, muttering darkly and staring at his toothbrush as if it had done him a personal injustice. He tried to clean his tongue again and then quickly pulled the brush away as he dry heaved. Dean cringed as he watched him. “My mouth is so fluffy, so I try to clean it… but if I clean it, I feel sick, but if don’t clean it I feel sick,” he complained.

 

Dean had to admit, Cas looked really rough, he was pale with dark bags under his eyes and had a serious case of bed head. Well, at least he had managed to get dressed.

 

“Welcome to the world of hangovers,” Dean teased, and Cas flipped him off, too tired to retaliate further. “Drink some water,” he suggested kindly, knowing that the dehydration was the worst part. He lied back down and pulled the cover over his head again. “What time is it?” he asked, it didn’t really matter what time it was, because he was not moving any time soon, but it was nice to know. Cas didn’t answer him straight away but climbed unsteadily back inside, and then into their made-up bed.

 

Dean sucked in a deep breath as Cas’ cold hands and feet found their way to him, though he didn’t complain, he encouraged him to move closer so he could help him get warm.

 

“It’s just gone ten, everyone’s still asleep,” Cas whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, sorry.” Dean grabbed Cas’ hands and held them between his own, kissing across his fingers.

 

“Shut up,” he muttered. “It’s too early for you to be apologizing for crap you don’t need to... I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,” he complained. His stomach was churning, his surroundings spinning, and he felt like he could drop back off to sleep at any time. He wasn’t even sure what time the two of them had gotten to sleep last night. He thought back to the events of the evening, trying desperately to piece together what had happened in his hung-over state. He concentrated on Cas’ face as he inched a little closer to him, admiring his handsome features and then kissing his hand again.

 

“Yeah, I’m a bit sore as well,” Cas grumbled, and shifted uncomfortably. Dean stiffened, suddenly remembering them having sex in the tent. How had be forgotten for even a second?! What was wrong with him!

 

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly and then shuffled even closer to Castiel to wrap himself around him, and pull him into a hug instead of them just holding hands. Cas hummed in contentment at the embrace.

 

“Yes,” he replied, now speaking against Dean’s face because of their closeness. “My stomach hurts, but apart from that and the hangover, ‘m great.” Dean smiled sympathetically until he realized Cas couldn’t see him, so he nodded.

 

“Yeah, I get that… It’s a strange sensation to get used to,” he replied, trying to voice his thoughts without being insensitive. Cas nodded in agreement.

 

“I am never drinking again,” the other man complained, groaning into Dean’s shoulder.  Dean couldn’t help but agree with him. He could already feel the guilt of last night’s actions swirling in his stomach. He tried to block it out, so he could deal with his emotions later, as there was nothing he could do about it now and they couldn’t even talk about it. He got his wish as his hangover quickly caught up with him, and he fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

 

*

 

They climbed out the tent a few hours later, curious to why everyone was shouting. Apparently Charlie, who was by far the most sober, was going to do a McDonalds run, to get burgers, coffee and various greasy foods help to sober them up. They had been writing down orders when they realised that nobody knew where Kevin was.

 

“What do you mean?” Dean grumbled as he climbed out the tent, still feeling half asleep.

 

“Everyone is saying that nobody has seen him since last night,” Benny explained as they started to approach them, filling Dean in on the situation. “Are you sure he didn’t just crawl into the wrong tent last night?” he asked Garth.

 

“Nope, he’s not in our tent, and he’s not in anyone elses tent, unless he’s been secretly spooning with Dean and Cas over there,” Garth said, and Dean would have tripped over a log if it wasn’t for Cas grabbing his arm and hauling him up.

 

“Well, who saw him last?” Cas asked, looking adorably rough and choosing to ignore the comment. They joined the rest of the group who were all half dead. They all exchanged blank looks at the question. It seemed most of the group had already left and gone home, which to be honest, Dean was pleased about. He was super embarrassed about last night, he had wore a dress for fucks sake.

 

“I can’t really remember much about last night,” Lilith admitted, her voice sounding like sandpaper.

 

“Errrrggg...” Jo groaned, rubbing her face and trying to think. “He was there when we were playing hide and seek, and then he was playing those creepy videos...”

 

“Well, what did we do then?” Trying to retrace their steps last night was harder than it should have been. All Dean could think about was that after that, Cas had been pinning him down and- Cas elbowed him.

 

“-into Dean’s car.”

 

“Yeah, he was dancing around in Castiel’s wings.”

 

“What about my car?” he spluttered, having missed what Garth had said, but Cas’ wings had definitely been inside his car last night, and now they were hanging off someone’s tent in the  background, and he was sure that he had said-

 

“Did you just say he broke into Dean’s car?” Cas exclaimed. Yeah, of course he had said that, because that’s what happened when you got drunk with a bunch of idiots. Hopefully he hadn’t found anything embarrassing!

 

He glanced back, checking the distance between the car and the tent. If Kevin was breaking into his car after they had been reading Creepy Pasta, then he might have been doing it at the same time he was having sex with Cas, and that thought terrified him. Dean tried not to worry about it, and not to look at Cas who was burning a hole in the side of his face with his intense gaze.

 

“He didn’t damage it or anything!” Garth defended.  “You left your keys in the door!” Fuck! That was right, now he remembered! Cas had been hanging off him and whispering in his ear, he had been so worried someone would see, that when they finally got the wings off him, they had shoved them on the back seat and slammed the door. He remembered locking it, but he didn’t remember what he had done with the keys.

 

“So has anyone actually checked the cars?” Jo asked.

 

“Well, he was last in my car, so I’ll go and check,” Dean mumbled, and then turned around, marching in the opposite direction towards the Chevy. He tried to open the back door but it was locked, he frowned and searched the doors for his keys, then on the ground around the car, but he couldn’t find anything. He peered through the windows, but the seats were empty.

 

“My cars locked!” he yelled, everyone started to look for his keys but there was no joy. Dean walked around to the trunk of his car and tried to open it, but that was locked too.

 

“No luck?” Charlie asked, and Dean shook his head.

 

“No, God. Please tell me he hasn’t locked himself in the trunk,” he groaned.

 

“There’s only one way to be sure.”  Benny pulled out his phone and called Kevin’s number, they all waited anxiously for a ringtone to play, and after a few seconds, a loud buzzing erupted from the trunk. They all simultaneously sighed in relief and then erupted back into chatter. Dean didn’t listen, he was busy pressing his ear to the trunk and trying to listen inside.

 

“Kevin!” Dean yelled, suddenly panicking, and banged his fists on the metal as he finally realised that was a guy locked in his car. “You awake in there!” Everyone fell silent again to listen for a reply. Two dull bangs sounded from inside, Dean had never been so relieved in his life.

 

“Fuck, what if he can’t breathe?!”

 

“Don’t be stupid, he would be dead by now, not banging back,” Bella rolled her eyes.

 

“How are we gonna get him out?!” Garth squeaked, clearly still worrying.

 

“Dean’s a mechanic,” Cas reassured them. “He does all sorts with his car, he built this car from scratch! You can get him out, right Dean?” he looked at him hopefully and Dean felt awkward put on the spot, everyone was now staring at him praying he could fix this without having to get anyone in trouble.

 

“I didn’t know you were a mechanic,” Lilith said, looking at him with interest, only to be slapped upside the head by Jo, the two girls glared at each other.

  
“What?! I was only asking!” she defended.

 

“Not really the time,” Jo replied, shaking her head.

 

“Well, I’m still training, but yeah, part-time I am. But I don’t have the things I need here to change a lock, they’re at the garage and I don’t have my keys to the office with me.”

 

“So how are we gonna get him out?” Charlie asked.

 

“Just break the lock, I don’t see another way.” Dean sighed heavily, he couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Does anyone have any tools in their car?” Benny raised his hand and then disappeared, he returned a few minutes later with a crowbar.

 

“You keep a crowbar in your car? What the hell for?!” Benny shrugged and then jammed it under the lock. He looked at Dean for confirmation, who reluctantly nodded and then grimaced as Benny stomped on it with one of his huge boots. The lock snapped loudly and then trunk popped open. Dean leapt forwards and pulled it up, happy to see Kevin blinking up at him. Everyone cheered.

 

“Thanks, dude,” he grinned, still looking green. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” Cas and Dean stared down at him disapprovingly, and against their better judgment, helped him sit up. Seconds later, Kevin was hurling on their shoes.

 

“ Don’t _ever_ let me drink again,” Cas said deadly serious to Dean, before bending over and spewing on the floor.

 

The morning did not go as planned to say the least.

 

*

 

“We should talk about last night...” Cas said as soon as they were inside Dean’s room. He had been expecting it; the ride here had been really awkward, which was unusual for the two of them. He had been planning to say something himself so he nodded in agreement, eager to get a load off his chest, hopefully they were going to see eye to eye were about this.

 

He leant back against the door briefly, the latch clicking as it shut and then he locked it behind him, even though he knew they were alone. It had been fun spending time with his friends this morning, but him and Cas seriously needed to sort some things out, and he was glad for it to finally be just the two of them.

 

“Yeah, I- I wanted to talk about that too,” he admitted, and stepped away from the door and dropped his bag. They both climbed onto Dean’s bed with their legs crossed. They shuffled around until they got comfortable, both of them were still feeling the strain of their night of drinking. “I really think that what happened was a bad idea,” he hesitantly continued.

 

“I’m so glad you said that!” Cas let out a sigh of relief. “It was a silly thing to do, even if it wasn’t planned! But I did like it, I really, really liked it,” Cas smiled at him widely.

 

Dean grinned affectionately back, and the two of them laughed slightly at the bizarre conversation. Dean then pulled a face at his boyfriend in embarrassment. Words were tumbling around in his head as he tried to process what he wanted to say. He took a deep breath. “Cas, I’m not saying I regret what happened, because I would never want to take it back, you were pretty amazing, baby... but you know, I’m feeling a bit guilty about it, and I’ve been wanting to tell you that I think it was probably a really dumb idea. And to be honest, I’m guessing it wasn’t even that good, I mean, how could it have been? We were so drunk,”he admitted. He knew from personal experience that everything was magnified with alcohol, just because it had seemed good at the time, didn’t mean it was in reality.

 

Cas nodded but looked unsure and conflicted, even a little bit… disappointed.

 

“What’s the matter?” Dean sighed. He hoped he really hadn’t fucked this up. Cas had been way more drunk than him last night, and now he was sober himself, he felt like he had taken advantage of that fact.

 

“I just—What are we talking about? Are we talking about my first time being in a tent or that we didn’t use protection? Because to be honest I really don’t mind that my first time bottoming happened that way, it was perfect.” Dean flushed; yes, it hadn’t been ideal that Cas had done that for the first time like that, but wow, he could never regret it. But he could admit that it would have been better if the circumstances were a bit more romantic. He was more than relieved that Cas wasn’t upset or annoyed.

 

But he was a little disappointed in himself that he had let things go so far, that they had gotten so drunk that they couldn’t even open a condom. They should have stopped at that point, especially since they didn’t know if Dean was clean or not yet. He didn’t know whether to mention the thought that was lying so heavy on his mind to his boyfriend, as he didn’t want to unnecessarily panic Castiel but the way Cas was looking at him, he could tell he knew. Hopefully this could be handled sensitively, because he was feeling a bit delicate about it, though he was sure Cas wouldn’t embarrass him or be unreasonable, though really, that wasn’t really in his nature.

 

“Yeah it kind of was, I love you, baby, but I really think we should use protection next time, it was really stupid not to and it probably felt horrible for you,” he said, deciding not to mention the whole war happening in his head about STD’s. Cas knew he was worried, did he really need to know the extent of his concerns? He hadn’t lied, what he had said was true, he couldn’t imagine that having come in his ass could be a nice feeling...

 

Cas frowned. “No it didn’t, it actually felt really good.” Dean pulled a face, sure he was lying. “Hey!” he scolded. “I know what I like and what I don’t like, don’t treat me like an idiot who doesn’t understand the difference, just because there was alcohol involved!” Dean’s mouth almost dropped open in surprise at the tone of Cas’ voice. He hadn’t called him an idiot, he was just trying to explain that alcohol made you feel things that weren’t there, and still, it had been a poorly thought out idea.

 

“I didn’t call you an idiot, Cas!  I just-“ he started, suddenly feeling self defensive.

 

“Let me finish! I see where you are coming from! And I agree with you! But don’t tell me I didn’t like it because I did!” Cas glared at him and Dean deflated. “I agree it shouldn’t be something we do all the time, and just a few weeks ago you were upset because of the unprotected sex we had already had, and now we have let this happen, so I understand you’re freaking out Dean but-“ Dean had a lump in his throat as soon as Cas said it, why did he have to say it? That just made it seem so real! What if he had given Cas Chlamydia or something? Cas looked alarmed for a second and reached for his hand as Dean started to back away from him. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, trying to backtrack on what he had been saying. “Perhaps this isn’t the best way to explain what I’m trying to say...”

 

“Well, what are you trying to say? I know we fucked up. You think I’m not worried that I’ve given you some kind of disease?!” he blurted out, and Dean withdrew from Castiel slightly, he hadn’t meant to say that and now his thoughts were out in the open he didn’t know how to handle it. This was all his fault.

 

“No, Dean, that’s not true.” Cas shook his head. “I know that was a big step but I don’t want you to regret it. I did enjoy it, please don’t doubt that, but seriously, let’s use a condom next time because cleaning myself was actually disgusting this morning.” Dean couldn’t help it, he laughed from second hand embarrassment and Cas joined him.

 

“I can’t believe you just said that, I was going to be polite and not mention it.”

 

“Besides, we get our tests back soon, and you’ll see, everything will be fine.” He hoped so, and it was a relief to hear him say those things after they had been eating away at him all day.

 

“Okay,” he said sheepishly. “I guess it will be fine, but until then I’m really not comfortable doing it until we get our results.” He said ‘our’, but what he really meant was ‘my’. He was so embarrassed, and a repeat performance would only make it worse.

 

“What, at all?” Cas gasped, looking horrified.

 

Dean huffed in annoyance and said, “Let’s just agree to use a freaking condom okay? This never would have happened if we hadn’t got so drunk. I knew we would do something stupid, and we ended up having sex, in a tent, at The Lakes, surrounded by our fucking school friends. Anyone  could have heard us,  and really, I’ve never been so glad that you’re a guy, we could be in a real awful situation right now.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes. “Well sorry, I’m not a girl, so I don’t understand why that would even be relevant. And really, who cares if someone hears us? I mean, they’re not stupid, some of them must know by now. And to be honest, I really hope that if anyone heard us, that it was Bella, she is coming on way too strong. And nothing says ‘I’m not interested’, like overhearing me having gay sex with my best friend.”

 

Dean laughed again.

 

“She’s really not that bad, but you can chill, I think she’s with Benny, they looked pretty cosy last night.”

 

“I think it was just a hook up, Bella has never been one for commitment,” Cas scoffed. Oh, Dean hadn’t thought about it that way.

 

“Either way Cas, I wouldn’t be too comfortable about any of them finding out still, don’t tempt fate. I know you think we’re all close now because they invited you to a cool party, but the only person I really trust is Jo. Friendships like that are unpredictable, and I don’t want it to end badly for us. Don’t get comfortable around them, I really don’t plan to either.” Cas looked disappointed and nodded sadly.

 

“I know,” he sighed. “It would just be nice to have some friends I could be honest around. I don’t know why it bothers me, I was by myself for so long, I guess I’m kind of desperate.” Cas flopped forwards and leant against Dean’s chest, effectively forcing him to cuddle him, Dean wasn’t complaining and instantly pulled him into a hug.

 

“You’re not desperate, don’t insult yourself,” Dean disagreed, and then squeezed him slightly. “And besides, as long as you want me, I’ll always be here, baby. You’ll never be alone again, Castiel.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued support of this story, for every single kudos, comment and bookmark, for every new tumblr follower, and every subscription to my website. I love and appreciate you all :)
> 
> I am sorry for the delay in this chapter, and for such a short update. ATBT is not being abandoned, but will be updated unpredictably from now on, this is due to some extreme family problems and my new job which is a lot of responsibility. I will continue to post here on ao3, and might randomly add oneshots, but because ATBT is such a large and complex project, it will always take a little longer to update than a basic short fic. I hope you will all continue to support me.


	45. Chapter Eighteen Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably full of silly mistakes, I am so sorry! I really have no time at the moment and Im trying my best! Sorry for such a short and crappy update! :( but thank you so much for all the lovely comments, kudos and subscriptions!!

Dean felt thoroughly betrayed at the sound of Cas’ alarm ringing early hours the next morning. He groaned and rolled over, taking the majority of the duvet with him. 

“No,” he complained, as Cas rolled out of bed and sleepily walked out of the room, leaving the door wide open. He pathetically made grabby hands after him for a few seconds, before he realised that he wasn’t coming back any time soon. It was confirmed as the hum of the shower started from down the hall. He reluctantly sat up, yawning widely. He grabbed the nearest phone, which happened to be Cas’, to check the time, it was just gone six-fifteen. 

He let himself flop back into the pillow, thinking five more minutes, as he tried to force himself into the delusion that he wasn’t getting up early for something as mundane as church. It would be the first time he will have attended since Cas had fallen out with his parents, and that his ‘bad behaviour’ had become an issue with them. It’s not like they personally blamed Dean, as they had only met him once after all, and hopefully they didn’t suspect he was the person housing Cas when he decided to wander off. But Dean was still paranoid they would take one look at him and know exactly what he was getting up to with their son. It was enough to give him nightmares, but he was kind of curious how they were going to react around Castiel as he hadn’t mentioned them in a while.

He eventually rolled out of bed and followed Cas’ route to the bathroom; he didn’t bother to knock before he opened the door and walked in.

“I’m in here!” Cas called, a tone of panic in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “It’s just... me.” He ended his sentence with a big yawn. He stood in front of the toilet to relieve himself.

“Are you peeing?” Cas’ head popped around the shower curtain, soapsuds covering his head, and scowled at Dean’s behaviour. Dean just rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, we are at this point where we can pee in front of each other; it’s no different than when we use the rest room at school.”

“But I’m in the shower!” Cas complained. Dean ignored him and quickly stripped his clothes off, he ushered Cas towards the wall as he joined him. Cas stepped aside and let him stand under the hot spray of water.

“Do we have to go to church today? Please, baby, can’t we just skip it.” Dean tried to give him his best pout, the one he had learned from Cas. It didn’t seem to work, so he tried a different tactic: “We could stay in bed all day... fool around?” He grinned cheekily at his boyfriend. “Come on, please?”

“I’m sorry, Dean, but no, we have to go. We are making final preparations for the fair today, and it’s important to have everything ready on time. Some of people don’t have a lot at Christmas and this money raised will help to open a new soup kitchen, and to provide assistance to the elderly in their homes. We are very fortunate, and we say thanks for it by giving back into the community.” His pleas were quickly forgotten, and the importance that Cas felt about the fair became clear. He hadn’t been aware the seriousness, he had only ever thought about the auction. Here he was, completely unaware of the needs of others in his town, and then there was Cas who went out of his way to help these strangers. He was truly selfless. There wasn’t really a lot that he could say to what Castiel had said, and anything that he might try and say could be destroyed in his brain to mouth filter. So he just nodded and pulled Cas’ wet and warm, pliant body against his own and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“And this is why I love you, you are a beautiful person, and I’m proud to call you mine,” he whispered. Cas stiffened for a second at the words, but then turned and placed his arms around Dean’s neck, resting their foreheads together.

“That was a really nice thing to say. Thank you, Dean,” he replied, and kissed him deeply, morning breath be damned.

They ended up fooling around in the shower for longer than they should have, trading kisses as Cas pressed Dean against the cold tiles, jerking their cocks slowly and pulling moans from each other’s lips. They came at the same time a while later, a skill they had been practicing.

Once they had come down from their orgasms, Dean let Cas wash his hair and he was already feeling a lot more relaxed, the idea of the upcoming day not seeming so bad after all. They helped each other out the shower and wrapped towels around their waists. Dean wiped at the streamed up mirror, peering at his reflection and realising he needed a shave. He ran the tap and grabbed a disposable razor from the cabinet, and handed one to Cas as well. 

“Thank you, I fear I am getting slightly scruffy, it grows so fast.” Dean nodded understandingly; Cas’ smooth cheeks never lasted very long, and when he was freshly shaved Dean couldn’t believe how soft Cas’ skin was as he was used to the rough drag against his own skin.

They both applied shaving foam to their faces somewhat self-consciously, they had never shaved in front of another person before, but they were soon laughing. Cas looked ridiculous with half his face covered in foam. They got over it quickly and stood side by side as they groomed themselves.

“So, what do we actually need to do today, I know you said we need to prepare for the fair, but what does that even mean?” Cas stopped mid-stroke of his razor and looked surprised at Dean’s genuine interest. 

“Well, today we need to finish making care packages, and we need to do a bulk shop for the food packages, but we normally do that online. So once we’ve done that, they can go into storage until the cold weather and then we start handing them out.” He smiled.

“So is this something you do every year, I mean, how do you know who needs help?” Dean was curious, he had never done any kind of charity work before, and he was fairly ignorant to how it all worked.

“Well, we have our regular spots we go to, the retirement homes and the assisted living places, of course to the elderly homes and the homeless shelter. But we also take calls and ask around, try to make sure we’re not missing anyone.” 

Dean could picture Cas knocking on someone’s door in his church get-up; he was ashamed to say that before he knew him, he probably would have just slammed the door in his face without even hearing him out. “I hate to think of people without families, cold and alone at Christmas, it is easily preventable.” Dean nodded. Cas did make it sound so easy, and he was actually happy to be included, even if he had been dragged into it.

*

They collected Alfie and Gabriel around eight-fifteen, they were ready and waiting and climbed into the back of the impala with no complaints. Gabriel and Sam were ecstatic when Cas started passing McDonalds breakfast wraps into the back, the boys gratefully munched on them as they drove down to the church. Cas had planned to cook something, but they had spent so much time talking and getting ready this morning that they were running late.

Even with the quick breakfast, they still arrived later than they usually did and the church was almost full, but as usual there was an empty row reserved for them. They filed in and Dean avoided looking ahead of himself. Instead he tried to get comfortable and pulled his bible out of his bag, resting it on his lap.

“Did you move the stickers?” he asked, as he noticed they were numbered the same as the last time he had attended. Cas shook his head no.

“I didn’t take part in the preparation for this service, how could I? I’ve been busy all week. I don’t know which pages we will need,” he replied. Dean frowned; he wished he didn’t have to sit so close to the front where Cas’ dad could see him, when he had no idea what he was doing. Church still kind of terrified him. “Don’t worry; I’ll tell you, its fine, stop panicking.” He found it hard not to panic when Michael and Lucian we’re sat right in front of him.

The service was boring, and Dean died inside when he remembered there wasn’t a clock in sight, and that his phone was turned off in his pocket. He tried not to think about the slowly passing time. After reading along with the second bible passage, he stopped thinking about it so much and started to pay more attention. After he stopped thinking about the time, it seemed to pass quicker and the service wasn’t as bad as he was imagining. He even recognised a few hymns, and sang along instead of stumbling over the words like he usually did. Cas grinned at him when he heard him singing properly, and he briefly stroked Dean’s hand as they stood, it improved Dean’s mood considerably. At the end of the service, chatter erupted and everyone started mingling. Dean was glad that such a formal part of the service was over, and he asked Cas what they were going to do now.

“My study group is going to the library; we have a room reserved there on Sundays,” he explained, and then waved at someone on the other side of the church. Dean followed his line of sight and realised it was Balthazar, who was slowly making his way over and shaking hands with people as he was forced to make small talk with the regulars. He was quickly but politely brushing people off and it was clear he wanted to see Cas urgently, or maybe Dean... What could he want to say that’s so important?

“Is that where we’ll sort the last bits for the fair?” he asked, successfully grabbing Cas’ attention back, trying to prevent him from noticing. 

“Yes, we just need to finish the last of the care packages first. Are you coming with me or are you going home? You don’t have to stay.” Dean would have normally grabbed the chance of escape, but he had started to grow curious about the fair, he honestly would like to help Cas out more, and he knew his boyfriend would appreciate the company and extra support. Also, there was the fact of Balthazar, it was stupid but he still didn’t trust him completely around Cas, he didn’t want to leave Cas with him so Balthazar could flirt with him, or worst, argue with him. He couldn’t tell what he was intending with that look on his face, but either way, he was certainly looking determined to get to Cas. He knew that he was being jealous and worrying for no reason because he trusted Cas, but being with him would make him feel better. Damn, he was such a dick. But he was just trying to protect him, right? Or was he just being an idiot? Cas didn’t need any extra stress right now.

“No, it’s fine, I don’t have any other plans today, well, apart from I need to pop into work for a few hours.” Staying made sense, right? Cas nodded and then grabbed his sleeve, leading him out the main hall. Dean glanced back to see Balthazar smiling sickly sweet at him, though obviously really pissed off. He had been grabbed by a lady who he assumed was his mum, and his tie was being straightened. Dean smiled and waved at him. Balthazar looked like he wanted to flip him off but he just smiled back and waved.

Cas lead him down the corridors to a part of the church that he had never seen before, and into a large hall. There were boxes stacked high, and items sprawled across long tables and benches on one side, and on the other there were neat rows of smaller boxes, which obviously were the finished packages. There was already a group of people their age inside and taping up some finished boxes. Anna and Jo were there, and a few others that he didn’t know but got introduced to. He smiled politely and then let Cas show him what to do. He had to admit, it was quite fun organising the things and they were there about an hour before the last box was done. They all spilt up and agreed to meet again at the library in their usual room. 

Dean excused himself from Cas afterwards as he needed the toilet, Cas pointed him towards the one he had used before. Dean handed Cas his car keys with utmost trust and told him to wait in the car with their brothers. 

It was then that Dean was creepily ambushed in the bathroom by Balthazar. “We keep meeting here,” he smiled sarcastically at Dean as he walked through the door, and Dean rolled his eyes and tried not to let it show he was bothered. He didn’t even know how to take what Balthazar had just said, but he understood he was reminding Dean what he had witnessed in this room. He wasn’t sure if the guy would actually say anything, Dean didn’t trust him, even though Cas seemed to.

“What do you want?” he asked, keeping it simple, and going about his business as if the jerk wasn’t hovering behind him while he tried to have a piss. He stood in front of the urinal and avoided acknowledging the other man any further. He really did not want to have this conversation with him; he knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere good. When he was finished, he zipped up, and planned to walk straight past Balthazar but the other man had a different plan. He stood in front of the door blocking it and scowling at him. Dean frowned at him and tried to walk past but Balthazar blocked him again. Seriously, what was this guys problem?

“I hope you realise the amount of trouble Castiel is getting in for you,” he snarled, and Dean felt his skin boil, how dare Balthazar come in here for the sole purpose to make him feel guilty?! He had no idea what he was talking about! When was the last time Cas even spoke to Balthazar? He hadn’t even mentioned him to Dean for a long time. As far as he knew he was an acquaintance from church who he tolerated, Cas had admitted several times that Balthazar annoyed him. He guessed they must have been close at one point but that didn’t mean he could barge in here and judge Dean.

“Don’t start,” he fired back. “You have no idea what he’s going through, and we’re handling it just fine. So I don’t need you poking your nose in our business.” He didn’t want any conflict with him, it could only make things worse for Cas, but he wasn’t going to stand around uselessly and let himself be spoken to this way, or worse, let him talk about Cas this way.

“Excuse me, what?” The tone of Balthazar’s snotty voice, with the accusation of what he was insinuating so blatant, really pissed Dean off. He was completely looking down at Dean, and it for unexplainable reason, it made him furious. “So nice to see you finally decided to open your eyes and see what is happening around you.” What was that supposed to mean? Dean knew exactly what was going on, Cas had come clean about everything, but that didn’t mean he could actually do anything more about it. Dean couldn’t magically make everything better for him. He really was trying his best to deal with everything, and he had thought he was doing a good job.

Dean breathed deep and clenched his jaw in anger, taking his time to try and order his thoughts in his head, and not to just explode at Cas’ friend in the middle of his parents church. “Look, back off, I know Cas is going through a hard time, and I’m trying my best to deal with it.” The guy looked at Dean like he had gone insane, and it was really winding him up. Why couldn’t he just drop it?! He tried to walk around him again, but Balthazar followed his steps. “Will you just stop?!” he snapped.

“No, you don’t get to walk away from this. You’re going to hear me out. If you’re his friend, then you’ll leave him alone,” he warned, but dean couldn’t take him seriously, how could he? The guy was clueless and it had nothing to do with him anyway. “Dean, you have no idea what you are getting into. This is getting out of hand. At first it was just funny, little Castiel, had his first crush and it happened to be a guy! It was kind of sweet the way he talked about you! I thought it was cute! But now he’s out of control! You’ve been nothing but a bad influence on him! He’s going to end up doing something really dumb, and it’s going to be your fault!” he fumed, suddenly charging into Dean’s space and crowding him against the wall threateningly.

“Don’t be a complete dick, and get the hell off me before I make you,” Dean hissed, trying to keep his voice down as he heard footsteps on the stone floor outside the bathroom. Balthazar startled for a second, not expecting the venom in Dean’s voice and took a step back, moving out of his personal space.“Don’t come in here trying to threaten me, don’t you dare. And stop judging Cas, he hasn’t done anything wrong! You’re talking like he’s breaking the law or something! He’s fine, we’re fine and-“

“No, he is NOT okay. He’s getting drunk, he’s never home!” The frustration was clear in the other man’s voice and it made him falter for a second, he had fully planned on interrupting Balthazar, telling him to shut up or just leaving, but the look of anguish on his face was too much for Dean to ignore. “I hear the whispers, of what they say about him,” he said sadly. “He’s embarrassing himself, and he’s doing it to try and impress you!” 

That was the most stupid thing Dean had ever heard.

“That’d not true, he doesn’t need to impress me, I love Castiel. You can’t just barge in here and pretend you understand, that you even have a clue what you’re talking about. You are seeing this from the outside, from their point of view. Did his parents put you up to this, huh?”

Balthazar scoffed in response, and then shook his head in disbelief. “So you’ve finally opened your eyes and noticed he’s completely in love with you?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas is my boyfriend you jackass, of course I know he loves me. But I really don’t see how any of this has anything to do with you. So you really need to fuck off. Castiel doesn’t need any more negativity in his life right now.”

“He is my best friend!” he defended.

“And he’s my boyfriend! I wouldn’t let him do anything stupid!” 

“Him being with you is stupid.” Dean frowned and was suddenly speechless, feeling like he had just been slapped. Did people really think that lowly of him?! He really didn’t have time to stand around and listen to this crap.

“Fuck you,” he gasped, before finally pushing him out of the way and storming out the room. Dean ran down the corridors and out of the church, never more grateful to be away from the place. 

The car park was almost empty and he made a beeline for the impala. He just wanted to go and see Cas. He climbed into his car, he leant forward and grabbed Cas, pulling him forwards and kissing him deeply. Cas gasped but didn’t pull away. When they separated Cas looked at him confused.

“I love you, you know I’ll always love you, right?” he demanded, and Cas nodded. Dean kissed him again until Cas was gasping and gently pushing him away.

“I know, and I love you. What’s brought this on? Are you okay?” he asked, worried.

“I’m fine,” he sighed. “Come on, let’s get out this place.” It had made him feel a little better to get the reassurance from Cas, but what really cheered him up was when he glanced him the mirror and noticed the gobsmacked expressions on their siblings faces. Dean had completely forgotten they were in the car. He laughed.


	46. Chapter 18 Part 3

The library was just as dull and uneventful as Dean expected, he had been optimistic until Balthazar had ruined his good mood; even with a little reassurance from Cas he hadn’t been able to snap out of it completely. He spent the remainder of his time with Cas’ friends a lot less enthusiastic than he had been in the morning. He found himself checking his phone more than paying attention to what was going on around him. They managed to get a lot of work done collectively but Dean felt like a spare part, he was really grateful that Sam was there to chat to. Cas noticed after a while and gently guided him and Sam to the computers, smiling at them kindly as he plugged in a couple of identical flash drives and explained what he wanted.  The two of them happily designed some posters on the computer while Cas whisked around with Anna, the two of them were obviously in charge of the projects. Balthazar had turned up after half an hour, he acted like no bad words had ever been spoken between the two of them. It pissed Dean off to no end, but he couldn’t say anything about it.

 

After the designs were done and the rest of the group had all agreed on them, Dean spent over half an hour trying to print the larger posters onto A0 paper, but he was being beaten by the freaking printer, he hadn’t ever had to print something so large. In the end Sam kicked him off his computer and he was left printing the smaller posters and pamphlets. After he had a ridiculous stack of paper he started laminating it all, thankfully one of the girls grabbed the large stack of pamphlets and walked off with them to start folding them.

 

Cas came and sat with him, turning on the other laminator and waiting for it to heat up.

 

“Hey,” he said, leaning his chin on his hand. “Thanks for staying to help.”

 

“I haven’t really helped much but...” he shrugged and trailed off.

 

“No! You have honestly! Posters always take the longest.”

 

“Ah, well, you’re welcome then. So, why do we need so many?” he asked, looking around it seemed unnecessary, what could they possibly do with them all?

 

“Well, the large ones are for the day of the fair, we use them around the grounds and for directions and such, apart from the ones you didn’t design – we use them every year, we pay for a spot at the mall’s entrances, you know where the sale posters usually are?” Dean nodded. “The little ones we’re laminating will go around our school tomorrow which I’ll have to do before school starts, and then what ever is left like the leaflets go around the town but I never do that, they’ll get posted through doors and such closer to the time.” Dean hadn’t thought about how much advertisement must go into something like this; after all it was once a year and they needed to attract a crowd otherwise they wouldn’t get any donations. Dean wouldn’t have known where to start, but it was clear Cas had done it plenty of times.

 

It was almost two hours before everything was at a point that people started to leave. Naturally Cas was the last to start packing up, and it took all of them to carry everything to the car. It was then that Dean remembered that he had broke the lock on the trunk of the car. It was the first time he had used it since Kevin climbing out, and yesterday they had dumped the camping stuff on the back seats and they had spent the rest of the day in bed. It hadn’t crossed his mind at all.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed as he opened it and peered inside. Thankfully Kevin hadn’t puked in there, the space was clear and clean.

 

“Will this stuff be okay in here?” Cas asked, placing it all inside neatly and then stepping to the side as Alfie emptied his armful.

 

“Well, yeah, I mean it’s too heavy to open when we’re driving, and I doubt anyone’s gonna steal it. I’ll have to sort it today.”

 

“How did you break the lock?” Sam asked, poking at the lock where it was bent.

 

“Stop being nosy, that’s how,” Dean said and slapped Sam’s hand out of the way. Sam rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine, I was just asking.”

 

“Well don’t.”

 

Dean dropped Gabriel and Alfie back at the Milton’s house, pulling up at the top of the drive where the steel gates were closed. They boys climbed out the back, messing around for a minute while they grabbed bags and kicked McDonald’s wrappers out of the way. Dean sighed as he watched them in the mirror; he really needed to clean his car, he felt like a soccer mom with the amount of kids in and out of his car all the time and the amount of mess that was left.

 

“Thank you for the lift, Dean, I’ll see you tomorrow in class.” Alfie smiled at him and waved goodbye, Gabriel gave him a smile and muttered a thank you as well, which surprised him because normally he was a lot ruder. Dean watched as they both struggled to open the gate for a second and then slipped inside.

 

Dean was glad to see the boys chatting as they walked down the gravel drive; they seemed to be getting on a lot better. Now Castiel wasn’t in the house a lot, Dean worried about Alfie, they always chatted when they got the chance but it wasn’t very often and Dean felt bad for him since he covered for Cas so much. He wished he could do more. Dean had never cared much about anyone else’s family before, it had always been him and Sam, and then Bobby had became a permanent fixture in their lives and everything had changed so much. Now he had Cas, and Cas was more important than anything. He loved him so deeply that their relationship had made their lives so intertwined, the daily happenings in his family were always a concern to Dean. He cared if Gabriel was having a bad day, and worried when Michael was home. He had never had that before. It made him feel like this was scarily serious; it was like they were one huge family, even if they didn’t all get on.

 

“Why are we just sat here?” Sam’s voice made him jump and Dean realised he was sat holding the steering wheel, engine still running. He turned to Cas who was still sat in the front of the car, deep in thought as well. Dean nudged him and looked at him expectantly, wandering what he wanted to do for the rest of the day.

 

“What are you doing? You gonna go home or are you going to mine? I’m going to the garage now though.”

 

“I don’t really want to go to the garage to be honest, I really need to do that food order, I didn’t get around to it,” he confessed. “I was so on edge while we were there.” Yeah, Dean could understand that, but he hadn’t even noticed Cas was uneasy, normally he was good at noticing that stuff. Maybe Cas was more open around him than he realised? He certainly must have been putting on an act today, because to Dean it looked like he was in his element. It made him feel a little guilty that Cas had been in such discomfort and he hadn’t even noticed, he thought it might have been because he was in such a strange and bad mood himself all morning. He promised himself he would talk to him later, but now was not really the time or place to be doing with Sam sat in the back, he already knew too much.

 

“Well, you said you do that online right?” he asked, trying to keep the subject on topic and not to veer into the ins and outs of their morning.

 

“Yeah, suppose I can do it at home.” Dean smiled and leant forwards and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Come on then, I’ll look after Sam so you don’t have to drag him to work.” Dean tried not to show he was surprised, when Cas had said home, he had thought he had meant he was leaving, not going to his house.

 

“Okay, I’ll drop you both home,” he said with a smile.

 

*

 

When he got to work later that day, he found himself back in that strange mood, his mind kept drifting back to Balthazar. He grumpily pulled his shirt over his head and started to strip right there in the open bay. He couldn’t stand to be in those clothes anymore, they made him feel like a fraud. He didn’t even like wearing suits. The only reason he was doing any of this was because of Castiel; without him Dean was a selfish and close-minded person, whereas while Cas remained with him, Dean brought out the worst in him. Or at least that’s what all of his friends were thinking. It made him miserable. Dean dropped his trousers with a frown and tried to kick them across the room, annoyed as they got tangled on his foot.

 

“Bad day?” Bobby asked, clearing his throat to alert him of his presence. He looked concerned at Dean as he got in a fight with his trousers, half naked in the middle of the open garage.

 

“It wasn’t even that bad, I just have no idea what’s going on in my head,” he answered, finally pulling off the offensive clothing and wandering into the employees lounge (dumping ground) to grab a spare jumpsuit. The only one he could find was too big and covered in grease. He had wanted to come straight to work instead of messing around at home looking for clothes, baggy coveralls was a small price to pay. He rolled his sleeves up and folded the hems up at the bottoms so they weren’t dragging on the floor and bothering him. He spent a few minutes trying to find some shoes and finally found a pair that looked like they hadn’t been there since the store opened.

 

“Wanna talk about it?” Bobby asked, popping his head into the lounge, looking like he could do with the distraction.

 

“Not really,” Dean grumbled. He wanted a distraction, not to keep going over the same crap in his head. “Talking isn’t going to get me anywhere; it’s the same crap as usual. Just give me something to do.” Bobby looked like he was going to say something but sighed deeply instead, fixing Dean a disappointed look as he handed him a clipboard.

 

“Spark plugs,” he said. “They arrived yesterday; they’re in the store room. It’s the last job of the day. After you’ve finished you can help me clean.” Changing spark plugs was a rubbish job, it would take fifteen minutes at most to do it, and Dean hated cleaning. He always got soaked from the pressure washer and it was freaking cold today, and they had to clean oil stains with this bright blue cleaning agent and Dean had the smell in his nose for hours. He sighed heavily and decided it would just have to do, if it was the only thing left then he should just go and do it. He grabbed a set of keys hanging on the wall for the store room and pulled the lanyard over his head so he wouldn’t lose them. His own keys were in the car. He glanced at the clipboard and made his way to the store room.

 

The sparkplugs were in the store cupboard as promised; he was kind of hoping he would have to look for them for longer but no such luck, they were on the first shelf. He removed the paperwork inside the Documents Enclosed envelope that was stuck on the top of the small box and then inspected it, making sure they were the right ones. Once it was confirmed he wouldn’t break the car by trying to install them, he slipped the document behind the rest of the cars papers.

 

Dean sat on an upside down tote box and picked at the tape sealing the small cardboard box, procrastinating as he got lost in his thoughts. He had an overwhelming desire to sit in the silent store room all night, he would be quite happy in his own company and away from all the complicated mess he had got himself into. He tried not to let himself think about it but he couldn’t help it. He was dealing with so much crap, and he wasn’t sure what to about any of it. He hadn’t told Cas about Balthazar yet, nothing would come out of it apart from upsetting him. He wasn’t sure if he was going to say anything at all. Telling him about people gossiping at the church would be pointless when Cas had worked so hard at being himself. Dean had been watching Cas’ family throughout the service today, and he was disappointed to see they hadn’t looked in Cas’ direction once. Their lack of interest was worrying, but at least it was keeping him out of trouble. If only the church goers were so disinterested, Dean hated gossipers.

 

He eventually dragged himself to his feet as he remembered he was still driving around with a broken lock on the trunk of his car. He put the box under his arm and made his way to the office to check the inventory. Once inside he logged into the computer and was disappointed to find they didn’t have the right one in stock, he had been sure he had ordered a few when he had been fixing the car up but obviously he was wrong. He logged into their business account and sent a request to their supplier; it was a bit annoying because it would be mid week before it arrived.  He logged off and went to fix the spark plugs, after all, procrastinating was great but he didn’t want to be here all night.

 

Dean got to work and listened to Bobby chatter on about his day when he reappeared, mop in hand. After a while he forgot all about his bad mood and found himself laughing as Bobby retold him about the new guy who had started work yesterday, and how Rufus had scared him so badly.

 

When he got around to it, he didn’t mind the cleaning so much, but he was glad he hadn’t worn his own clothes.

 

“Oh, I forgot to say, I just ordered a new lock for my trunk, I broke it. So when you get the invoice don’t freak out, put it to one side and I’ll pay for it at the end of the week.”

 

“How’d you manage to do that?” Bobby asked suspiciously.

  
“Erm, if you don’t ask I won’t have to lie...” Dean looked at him and tried not to laugh. Bobby shook his head.

 

“Well, okay then,” he said, and Dean was glad that he kept it at that.

 

*

 

Dean was mentally and physically exhausted by the end of the day, between the crap with Balthazar, all the church work and then doing a four hour shift at the garage, he was ready to collapse. He happily drove home, muttered some nonsense about not being hungry, showered and crawled into bed, even if it made him feel like a complete loser because it was only eight o’clock.

 

The best part of the day was waking up a couple of hours later to Cas climbing in bed, Dean had been so tired he forgot he was there, and somehow, that made it all worth it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for such a long delay between the chapters, my hours at work are crazy so I'm essentially working two full time jobs, and with the demanding work load its hard to get into the right headspace for ATBT as I'm having to constantly check back and forth between chapters to remember what is relevant and make sure the timeline is correct. 
> 
> Thank yo so much for all the kudos, comments, follows on tumblr and subscriptions :) 
> 
> And for those of you who don't know, I have joined the teen wolf fandom and have started writing fanfiction for Sterek, so if you enjoy that it would be great if you would check it out here on ao3!! :)


	47. Chapter Nineteen - Part One

On Wednesday Dean came home to find two letters on his bed, one addressed to himself and the other to Cas, they had “Private and Confidential” printed across the bottom. He knew what they were straight away, after all, Cas could never send something like this to his own house and Dean had told him to just put Bobby’s address if he was worried. He picked his up, ready to tear into it but he paused, suddenly unable to bring himself to do it. He picked up Castiel’s as well and compared the two envelopes, trying to notice any differences but there were none. He placed them both back on the bed and stared at them until he was frustrated. It was just a letter, why was it so hard? He argued with himself internally for a few minutes, debating his choices. Cas would never know that they had arrived, he could open his and then get rid of it. He scolded himself at the thought, that didn’t even make sense, it would never work. He could open his and then see what it said and then text Cas so he didn’t have to tell him to his face... No, that wasn’t right either. Finally he decided they could open them at the same time, whatever the results said, they could deal with it together.

 

Dean sat on the edge of his bed feeling tense. He tried to sidetrack himself by pulling off his shoes and thinking about his latest English project, which he was actually pretty excited about, but he found himself holding the envelope again. Annoyed, he grabbed the two of them and shoved them in his sock draw and out of sight, it wouldn’t be a good idea to leave them hanging around anyway, what if Sam found them?

 

He got changed into a comfortable pair of jeans which he was pretty sure were actually Cas’ and hunted through his dresser for a clean shirt, when he couldn’t find one that suited his tastes he grabbed one of Cas’ sweaters which was hanging on his chair. He brought the soft material to his face and inhaled, it was clean and smelt like Cas. Feeling comforted, he smiled and pulled it over his head, it made him feel a bit better.

 

He spent a few minutes tidying around, his room wasn’t a mess, as him and Cas normally kept on top of it, but it was something to keep him occupied. He threw their laundry into one large pile and stripped the bed – he would remake it later, the sheets were down the hall. It wasn’t long before he had ran out of things to do and he was back on the end of the unmade bed and staring at the wall while thinking about his medical insurance. If he had something he would need treatment, antibiotics weren’t cheap, and he couldn’t let Cas pay again, if anything he would have to pay for Cas’ treatment.

 

He really needed to open that letter. He cursed himself at his own cowardice.

 

He pulled his phone out of his jeans and checked the time, of course it was still early but he was feeling anxious about this, he wished Cas was here now. He texted him a quick message, hoping he would see it and respond to calm him down.

 

**_Are you home tonight?_ **

 

He waited for a response but wasn't surprised when he didn't get one straight away. He had learned that Cas tended to keep his phone on silent and got so deeply involved in things that he didn't think about checking his phone until the task was done. Though sometimes Cas _did_ hear his phone and ignored it, especially if a sibling was trying to get hold of him. He couldn't even trust to answer a call from Gabriel these days, he wouldn't put it past Michael or Lucian to intimidate Gabriel into fishing for information. That way he missed a lot of Dean’s calls, he always apologized and Dean forgave him, it was never anything important that he wanted to say anyway. And really, at least Cas' family remained unaware that it was Bobby Singer housing their wayward son, because when they finally found out Dean knew there was going to be trouble. He hoped Balthazar would keep his freaking mouth shut.

 

Dean groaned and flopped backwards on the bed, he was back to square one. He had no idea how to deal with this crap. Ignoring it was his best bet at the moment; he promised himself as soon as he next saw Cas he would talk to him about it. He really didn’t want a repeat of the last time they didn’t communicate.

 

He needed to do something to clear his head, but he wasn’t sure what would take his mind off his troubles. He didn’t have work today and he wasn’t in the mood for it anyway so he didn’t want to go to the garage, he wasn’t crazy enough to work when he could be at home doing something fun. Homework wasn’t a good idea right now, and the internet and TV would just rot his brain, he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to pay attention to them. He wanted to do something hands on. He guessed he would have to settle for doing his washing and then decide what to have for dinner. There was nothing better to do.

 

Dean kicked his laundry out his room a little harder than necessary and then kicked it again so it tumbled down the stairs. He was about to go follow it when he thought about Sam. He went to his room and knocked twice before trying to nudge open the door but it stuck as a towel that  was on the floor caught underneath. Dean rolled his eyes and tugged it out. Sam was sat on his bed, surrounded by books and taking notes.

 

“Yeah?” he asked, looking up.

 

“Hey, do you want me to do your laundry? I’m going to do a couple of loads.” He had asked him but Dean was already grabbing clothes off the floor and throwing them out of the room. He held the materiel childishly at arm’s length; there wasn’t really a lot of it, so it took about thirty seconds at most. He looked around for any stray socks but found none, he even checked under the bed. When he stood back up he noticed all his brother’s lego was set up on the shelf, it was the only tidy thing in the chaos of Sam’s room, he was glad he liked it and was taking care of it. He started to pick up some scattered books off the floor as he stepped on one of them, he shoved them on the shelf, he didn’t wanna tear any.

 

“Uh, thanks, but Dean, what are you doing?” Sam asked, looking at him like he was crazy.

 

“Laundry,” Dean replied, glancing up for a second as he started straightening the things on Sam’s desk.

 

“No, you’re tidying my room, you _never_ tidy my room. You always moan you do everything else and that this is my space to keep clean.” Dean hesitated for a second, he _was_ tidying Sam’s room, he hadn’t realised.

 

“Well, I’m bored so I thought I’d…“ he trailed off, unsure how to finish. He didn’t even know what he was doing… procrastinating?

 

“Is everything okay?” Sam asked once he realized Dean wasn’t going to answer properly. “You can talk to me if there’s something wrong, are you and Cas okay?” Sam put his paper pad down and carefully climbed off the bed, trying not the move his homework. He took the things from Dean’s hands and put them back on his desk.

 

“Yeah, we’re fine, happy, everything’s fine.” Dean lied and nodded, smiling falsely at him. He should have known better to come in here, Sam always knew when something was wrong, and now he felt like he was going to cry. “It’s just… It’s not something I can talk to you about, sorry.” Dean tried to force himself into a better frame of mind for a few minutes, even if he was just pretending, he might fool Sam.

 

“Is it a sex thing? Because if it’s butt sex I can’t help you with that. Anything else and I’ll listen.” Sam said it sincerely and Dean pulled a face at him.

 

“No! Fuck no, ew Sam, why would I even-” Dean balked, unwilling to say anymore. “Honestly, I just wanted to help you out, that’s all.” He tried to smile more convincingly.

 

“Well, if you say so, just don’t be crazy and tidy my room, you scare me when you’re too nice.”

 

“I’m not being nice, I’m just bored,” he retorted.

 

 "Well, do you wanna do something? I’ll kick your ass at Black Ops," Sam teased. "I just need to finish this social studies thing, once I've done that I'm free." Dean glanced at the books scattered across the bed, he really didn’t want to wait that long... and he shouldn’t interrupt Sam’s studies anyway. But he guessed if got on with the laundry and stuff, then by the time he was done, Sam would be free to play. Not that he actually wanted to play Black Ops, he was waiting for Ghosts to be released, he had grown bored of number two.

 

"I hate Black Ops," he complained, they played it all the time, it was their current go-to game.

 

"Fine, we can play something else, just give me half an hour or something." Dean glanced at his watch again, Sam would be a lot longer than half an hour, he knew his brother, once he got involved in something he was completely absorbed in it like Cas.

 

"Yeah, okay, I can burn some time until then." He could do the laundry and find some other crap to do. Maybe playing a game with Sam would burn some of this frustration away.

 

"Don't you have homework to do?"

 

"Well, yeah but-"

 

"-Cas will kill you if you leave it until last minute." He was right, he would happily do it too.

 

"Yeah, I know, I'm just really can't be bothered at the moment. God, quit bitching." Dean rolled his eyes at Sam and then left the room. He ventured downstairs and shoved the laundry into the washer, but when he went to add some detergent the box was empty. He sighed frustrated and opened the fridge... Which was also empty. He grabbed the box and threw it in the trash annoyed.

 

He groaned out loud at the unfairness of it all, he couldn't remember when they had last done a shop, he was pretty sure it had been when Cas had done one over a week ago. It felt likes an age had passed since then. Why did he always end up doing this stuff?!  Bobby was still adjusting to having two (sometimes three) teenage boys in the house, and groceries were one thing that he could never keep up with. As for laundry detergent, it was kind of his fault, he always did everyone’s laundry and he had used the last of it and forgot. He could wait for Bobby to get back and ask him to go but there would be no point when Dean could have been there and back by then.

 

"Sam I'm going to the store! Want anything?” he yelled up the stairs, looking for his keys, he couldn’t remember where he had put them.”Sam! Have you seen my keys?!” he yelled again, but there was no reply. He was just about to give up and scream in frustration when the door opened. It turned out Cas wasn't staying at home that night, because he walked in with an overnight bag and a grocery bag right at that moment.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, dropping his bag to the floor and toeing his shoes off. Dean instantly stopped overreacting and calmed down at the sight of him, not only had he come over but he had bought them dinner. He had never loved Cas more, he really hadn't wanted to go to the store, detergent could wait for another day. Just to have the other man in the house brought a sense of relief to Dean and the nerves he had been feeling fizzled out.

 

"Cas," he said, smiling. He hugged him, shopping bag and all and planted a kiss on his cheek. Cas grinned and turned his face, capturing his lips and kissing him back. He lowered the bag to the floor. 

 

"What was that for?" he asked, a big smile on his face.

 

Dean shrugged, trying to brush it off. "I was just gunna go to the store, but you beat me to it, just appreciating you, that's all," Dean said looking down at the heavy bag.

 

"You hate the store; it was on the way over so it was no trouble." He didn't believe that for one second. Cas hadn't left school with him today, so he had walked all the way here with that bag, and the store was not on the way to Dean's house at all, if anything it was the opposite direction. He didn’t live really far from the school, but it was still a decent walk and he must have been home to get his bag.

 

"I could have taken you in the car, next time we'll go together, won’t be such a pain then," Dean suggested.

 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m getting used to walking everywhere anyway. I was actually thinking of getting a bus pass or something.” Cas picked up the bag again and walked into the kitchen, Dean followed him, confused why he would need a bus pass.

 

“But I can drive you places...” he said, helping him unload the things from the bag. Cas looked uncomfortable at the suggestion.

 

“It’s such a bother for you though; you’re not a cab service.”

 

“What? Cas, no! I don’t feel like you’re taking advantage or anything, I like taking you places! I mean, I have to go to school anyway, and most places I drop you are on my way to wherever I’m going...” Cas smiled at him, a disbelieving look on his face that said _you’re a liar_. Okay, he was lying, he went completely out of his way for Cas, but he liked doing things for him!

 

“Exactly what I thought,” Cas replied, as if trying to prove a point but it was void because Dean never minded helping Cas, and the other man had clearly went out of his way for him today as well. It was a give-give relationship so it didn’t matter.

 

“You know, if you’re desperate, you can always borrow my car.” Cas almost dropped the milk and scrabbled to catch it, he quickly put it in the fridge, face burning.

 

“Oops,” he laughed self-consciously, and Dean grinned at him.

 

“You okay, butter-fingers?” he teased, and Cas shot him a dirty look but he was so embarrassed it looked more cute than threatening.

 

“I’m fine, I just didn’t expect you to say that,” he said, coming to stand in front of him.

 

“Why not? If you’re going to buy a bus pass then it’s a waste of money, why bother when my car is sat in the drive most of the time.” Cas’ blue eyes stared at him, as if trying to figure if he was joking or not.

 

“You would let me drive your car?” he asked, a smile forming on his face once he realised Dean wasn’t having him on.

 

“Well, yeah,” he answered, trying not to make a big deal of it.

 

“You love me,” he grinned, and Dean smiled wide at him.

 

“Of course I do, baby.” Cas hugged him, humming content at the contact.

 

“I love you too, Dean and... thank you for the offer, it means a lot that you would trust me with your car but...” Cas pulled out of the hug, keeping his arms wrapped around Dean’s neck at he looked at him as he spoke. “It doesn’t exactly blend in with the other cars in this town, people will know it’s yours.”  He hadn’t thought about it that way, a lot of kids at school knew it was his car, and Cas’ church friends had seen him driving it. If someone saw Cas driving it and it got back to his parents then they would know where he was staying. It was a miracle no-one had grassed them in yet, though it was more trying to keep it from everyone’s parents rather than the kids. People were either too stupid to notice or they were too scared to say anything. “It’s not just that, I know the chevy is your baby, I’d be too scared I might crash it or something...”

 

“It was just an idea,” he said, he didn’t want to admit it, but he could see Cas’ point. “You can use it if you want and I would be more worried about you getting hurt if you crashed it then the car. The car I can fix, you’re not replaceable.” Dean pecked Cas on his lips. Cas blushed again.

 

“Well, I’ll think about it,” he replied. “Dean... are you wearing my clothes?” He looked Dean up and down and then snuck his hands down to squeeze Dean’s bottom. “I like it,” he winked, clearly pleased. It was Dean’s turn to blush, he shuffled away and looked down.

 

“Yeah, I erm, I missed you, I was upset because of-“ The letters, how had he forgot? Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and led him up the stairs.

 

 

“Because of what? Why were you upset?” Dean didn’t answer.

 

Once in his room he closed the door and walked over to the dresser where the letters were hidden inside. He pulled them out and handed them to Cas who looked at him strange for a minute until it dawned on him. He licked his lips nervously.

 

"You want me to open mine first?" he asked, running his finger across the sealed fold in the envelope.

 

"They came while we were at school, Bobby put 'em on my bed. I couldn't open it without you, I've been out of my mind." He felt a little guilty that he had thought of hiding them.

 

"There's no need to panic, everything's going to be okay. You worry too much."

 

"Well, I know that but it's not like I can just turn it off. Just freaking open it before I have a heart attack."

 

Cas opened his own letter first, ripping the envelope neatly and then pulling out a single piece of paper. He unfolded it, eyes skimming over the text in silence. Dean felt his stomach tying itself in knots. He tried to read Cas' facial expression but he was giving nothing away. He handed it to Dean after he was done reading, a smile blooming on his face.

 

"See, I'm all clear." Dean swallowed thickly and looked down at the paper convinced that it couldn't be fine like Cas was telling him. But there it was all there is black and white, the list of things they had tested for and the outcome by the side of it, all listing negative. Dean nodded slowly, still not quite believing it. “Do you want me to open yours?”

 

“Yeah, please, I don’t think I can do it.”

 

Dean sat down on the bed and Cas smiled at him reassuringly as he quickly opened it. This time he wasted no time in saying, “It’s clear, it’s okay Dean look.” He handed him the letter and it was identical to Castiel’s. The sheer relief Dean felt had him laughing in delight, he had been so worried over nothing. He flew to his feet and gripped Cas in a hug, picking him up and spinning him around and round.

 

 

Cas yelped and held on, laughing at his boyfriends insanity. Dean let Cas fall gently onto the bed.

 

"Happy now?" he asked, looking up at him. Dean nodded and grinned, trying to catch his breath. He climbed into Cas' lap, leaning over him and framing his face with his hands, kissing him sweetly.

 

"Yes, very." Cas smiled into the kiss and opened his mouth further, inviting Dean to kiss him deeper. "Does this mean we can start having sex again? I've missed touching you so much."

 

"It's been three days," Dean said with a chuckle.

 

"Too long," he mumbled, kissing Dean again. "Want you to fuck me, Dean. I haven't stopped thinking about how you felt inside me."

 

"You're terrible," Dean whispered against his lips, not really meaning it, he was already turned on at the thought.

 

"You love it," Cas replied. "You look really hot in my jeans, you should wear my clothes more often." He grabbed Dean's ass with both of his hands and squeezed. Dean moaned and rolled his hips, rubbing his cock against the hot bulge in Cas’ slacks.

 

“Maybe you should fuck me instead, pin me down on the bed and-“

 

"You two best not be bumping uglies in there!" Sam yelled, banging on the door. Oh damn, he had forgotten about Sam. Cas and Dean pulled away from each other and groaned in disappointment. The moment was completely ruined. “Dean!”

 

“Oh my God, _fuck off_ Sam!” Dean sat up and yelled. Cas groaned and buried his face in his hands.

 

“Worst timing ever...”  Cas grumbled.

 

“No, you said you would play the PS3 with me! Dean, you can’t promise you’ll spend time with me and then go and fuck around with Cas!” He banged on the door again. Maybe if they ignored him he would go away? “Ew, you guys actually are doing stuff! Gross!” It quickly became clear that he wasn’t going to go away.

 

“Is it bad that I hate Sam right now?” Cas said, sitting up on his elbows.

 

“No.” Dean climbed off Cas and rearranged himself in his jeans, and then held his hand out to Cas, helping him up. Cas stood up and was glaring daggers at the door.

 

“Shall we go and kill him?” he asked, clearly plotting their options.

 

“Dean!”

 

“Sam! As soon as I get out this room you’re going in the trash,” he yelled back.

 

There was silence for a few seconds in which Cas and Dean exchanged a look.

 

“You wouldn’t really put me in the trash, Cas wouldn’t let you...” Both Dean and Cas smiled at each other, and then simultaneously bolted for the door, yanking it open.

 

“You better run, Sam!”

 

When Bobby arrived home ten minutes later, all he could hear was Sam screaming like a girl and Dean and Cas laughing manically.


	48. Chapter Nineteen - Part Two

It turned out that even though Sam was taller than both Dean and Cas, he wasn’t as strong. It hadn’t been hard for the two of them to wrestle with him until they had a strong hold on him, they carried him outside and made a show of trying to throw him in the trash. Bobby had put a stop to it since Sam’s screaming sounded like he was being murdered. They all laughed about it, even Sam, who punched Dean in the arm and told him he hated him.

 

Afterwards they all went inside, and in their usual routine they started fighting over who was going to make dinner. Cas settled it by declaring he would do it and then disappeared into the kitchen and effectively killed the playful banter – had they offended Cas?

 

“See what you did now, bitch?” Dean hissed at Sam, who rolled his eyes in response.

 

“It wasn’t me! He’s your boyfriend, go and fix it!” he said back, keeping his voice level so the sound wouldn’t travel into the kitchen.

 

“How about you both shut up? Dean go and make dinner with Castiel, and Sam, you have a social studies project to finish,” Bobby said, without even looking up from the paper he was reading, from where he was sat in his favourite armchair.

 

The brothers groaned and both nodded, not daring to annoy Bobby or push his patience. They separated in the hallway, glaring at each other and Dean kicked Sam as he started to walk up the stairs.

 

“Fuck off,” Sam threatened once he was out of ear shot of their uncle.

 

Sam was ready to kick Dean back before Bobby shouted, “Don’t make me move!” They both exchanged a look which meant _this isn’t over_.

 

As Dean walked into the kitchen Cas was already emptying ingredients out of the cupboards and preparing their meal. He didn’t look up at Dean but carried on. Dean leant back against one of the cupboards and put his hands in his pockets.

 

“Do you need a hand?” he offered. Cas shook his head no. Dean surveyed him from where he was standing, Cas’ body language was falsely open so Dean didn’t want to approach him because Cas was pretending he was okay. He would talk when he was ready. They were quiet for a while and Dean pulled his phone out to check the time, it was just gone seven. He shoved his phone on the side and then watched what Cas was doing, trying to guess what he was making. Cas didn’t speak the entire time.

 

“Are you okay?” Dean asked eventually, Cas wasn’t going to start the conversation. Cas smiled and nodded but Dean didn’t believe him, he wasn’t even sure what had upset him, he squabbled with Sam in front of Cas all the time and Cas was so comfortable these days that he joined in most of the time.

 

“Yeah, I just, I don’t know... I keep thinking about things.” He sounded sad and Dean frowned.

 

“What things?” he asked delicately, trying not to push him too much.

 

“Like, what will happen when your dad visits? I really like it here but I feel like it’ll be different when he comes to visit.” Dean gulped thickly. He knew where this conversation was going and quickly became nervous. He hated that just the thought of his dad could do this – change everything. Cas was right, it was going to be different and but he wasn’t sure how. He just knew that things weren’t going to be as comfortable as they had become. That’s why Dean had been trying to cherish the time he was spending with Cas.

 

“Yeah, Cas, I get it. It’ll be different but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll be bad.”

 

“I know, but messing around with Sam and Bobby just then and feeling like I belong somewhere... I think I’ll miss all of this.” Dean felt guilty, Cas should never have to feel that way. “You haven’t given me the best impression of him to be honest and I’m starting to worry about it. We never get to talk about this.” Cas spoke quickly and stared determinedly down at the vegetables he was chopping.

 

“Yeah, I know, every time I try my brain stops working.” He wasn’t lying, he was so out of his depth when it came to his dad, he wasn’t sure where to start.

 

“Can you give me something, Dean? Anything?” Dean looked at his phone again to try and find a distraction, to gain some time to give him a suitable answer but it was pointless. He could see how uncomfortable Cas was asking him about it and it would be cruel to leave it any longer. He was right, he had asked before but Dean had never really been able to give him a real answer. “What’s happening when he’s here? I don’t understand how we are going to explain me hanging around so much, it’s embarrassing not being welcome at home. How am I supposed to explain that? It was humiliating enough with Bobby but he wasn’t a stranger, your dad is. Just tell me what you want me to do. Are we just going to ignore it and pray he doesn’t ask?”

 

“I’m not sure,” he said, and half shrugged. Maybe they were making an issue where there wasn’t one? Would John really care about a random guy randomly living here with his kids? If he did care he had a strange way of showing it. Dean knew that John should have little say in his life after everything he had done, but he would probably beat the crap out of Dean if he ever said that out loud to his face. Dean put his phone on the side again and tried to think of something better to say because he didn’t want to keep pushing the issue out of the way _but it was hard_. John would be here before Dean had even prepared himself and that wasn’t going to do him any favours. “It depends.”

 

“On what?” Cas finally snapped, looking up and Dean jumped, stunned. He cringed at the tone of Cas’ voice and shied away under Cas’ gaze. What explanation could he possibly give him? Cas sighed and then lay the knife down on the cutting board. He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking so very tired. “I’m so sorry Dean, I just want to know where I stand, that’s all. Everything is really stressful right now. One minute everything’s fine and I’m happy, and then I remember the situation I’ve got myself into and it feels like the world is ending.”

 

Dean was overcome with his guilt, Cas didn’t even know the half of it. Dean nodded; he wasn’t annoyed at Castiel for snapping at him. He licked his suddenly dry lips and said, “Yeah, I know Cas, it’s okay.”

 

Cas looked at him as if to say, _it’s really not okay_.

 

Dean sighed and kicked off from the side.  “Come here, let’s not fight about this. I’m sorry you’re stressed, can I do anything to help?” Cas gave in easily, welcoming Dean’s embrace, pulling the older man closer. Cas curled into him, it made him feel small to hold.

 

“You already do enough... I just...If you want me to stay at home while he’s here then I will.” Cas pulled away as he spoke, shying away from Dean and picking up where he had left off chopping vegetables. Dean watched him; he had thought the conversation was going to turn positive after that but apparently not. Part of him wanted to agree with Cas, just to tell him to go but he knew he couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ ask him to do that. Dean hesitated and Cas’ face fell into despair as he glanced up. “You’re asking me to aren’t you?”

 

“No! I don’t want that.” Dean was telling the truth, he didn’t want him to go home but he was paranoid about the whole situation. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I guess we’ll just carry on as normal and it’ll be fine.”

 

“Okay,” Cas nodded but still looked very unsure. At least that devastated look was gone from his face. “Whatever you think will be best.”

 

“Yeah, I think that’s the best thing to do but... it’s just – my dad’s a marine and he’s kind of old fashioned, he’s not as understanding or cool as Bobby is. You realise we can’t... can’t...” he gestured between the two of them and then looked at Cas desperately, hoping he would realise what he was trying to say without having to say it.

 

“Oh, yes, of course.” Cas quickly reassured him, understanding straight away. Dean sighed in relief. “I wasn’t going to hang off you or anything. We can finally have a platonic friendship,” he joked, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

 

“For the first time ever.” Dean grinned.

 

“For the first time ever,” Cas agreed. “You know, I was thinking, we can put another bed in your room if you like because that’s why you’re worried, right?”

 

Dean hadn’t thought about the sleeping arrangement much, but if Cas slept over then surely his dad would question or at least wonder where he was sleeping, especially because of the frequency of his stays. He hadn’t been worried before but now he was.

 

“Shit,” he cursed. So instead of shaking off the idea like he knew he should, Dean said, “another bed wouldn’t fit.”

 

“We could rearrange your bedroom, it’s not a small room,” Cas suggested. That was a very good point. “You’re thinking about it aren’t you?” Cas grinned at him.

 

“You’re not mad?” he asked, glad that Cas was finding some humour in the situation.

 

“No, I suggested it, why would I be mad at you?” Dean shrugged.

 

“Cas, erm...” Castiel looked up. “I... I’ll talk to my dad about why you’re staying if he asks, I don’t want you to worry anymore.”

 

“Thank you, Dean.”He smiled, looking much more relaxed. “I think I’d like you to help now.” He pushed the chopping board across the side to Dean in offering.

 

“Anything you want, Cas.” Dean happily helped Cas with dinner and he made sure to pay extra attention to him. Cas wasn’t as tough nor as happy as he made out to be, Dean had to remember that.

 

*

 

Once dinner was over Dean showed Cas into the garage which was looking more chaotic every time Dean went inside. At the moment it was full of spare car parts - motorcycle frames that had been stripped and things from the salvage yard. The shelves were bulging with random scrap, tools and boxes.

 

What Dean wanted to show Castiel was all the woodwork Bobby had been doing recently. Most of the workbenches had been brushed clean and things Bobby had been varnishing were stood on the desk proudly. One of which was a chair Bobby had made to match the desk in Sam’s room. Cas followed Dean inside cautiously but then looked around in keen interest once he realised what he was seeing.

 

“Bobby makes furniture.” Cas smiled, looking impressed.

 

“You ever do anything like this before?”

 

“Are you joking?” Cas scoffed. “You think my dad has time to do stuff like this with me? We buy anything we need.”

 

“Well, Bobby can teach you. He’s been showing me and Sam how to do all this stuff. It’s not like my dad has time for this either.”

 

Dean walked over to the far wall and pulled at the sheets of wood, he slid it across the floor out of the way until he found some oak sheets.

 

“Found it,” he muttered in triumph. Cas hovered behind him.

 

“Are you suggesting we make a bed?” he asked in disbelief.

 

“Yeah, why not?” Cas looked at him in disbelief. “What? It’ll be fun to do together! I thought it would take our mind off things.” Dean grinned. “And I’m pretty sure this stuff is spare from when we made the bookshelves in the office, Bobby bought too much.” Dean had planned to boast to Cas about building the office bookcases when they had first become friends but it had never happened.

 

“Are you kidding? I don’t understand this type of humour.” Dean smiled fondly and took Cas’ hand.

 

“Come on, I’ll show you, I’m not joking.” He led him up the stairs and into the office where he pointed at the bookshelves.

 

“You didn’t make those,” Cas scoffed and leaned forwards to stroke the wood, “...did you?”

 

Dean tried not to look smug. “Yep,” he said proudly.

 

“It’s not what I expected when you said you made bookcases, I guessed they would be... smaller.” Cas looked up at the towering shelves and smiled. “They’re very well made; Bobby could make a fortune selling these. They’re a lot better than the ones we have in the study and I understand ours were a very expensive custom make.”

 

“Hah, well thanks. It didn’t even take too long, we did it all in one day. Bobby sized the wood and did the dangerous bits because leaving Sam with power tools wouldn’t have been the best idea. But yeah, it was fun and I think it’s something we should do if you want to. Then we’d just need a mattress.”

 

“I can pay for that, I’ll order one off the internet, not quite as fun as making our own but still...”

 

“Whatever you want.” Dean smiled.

 

*

 

They tidied the kitchen together without complaining, it was technically Sam’s job to clean up but neither mentioned it. Dean loved the domesticity of it; he always enjoyed spending time with Cas no matter what they were doing, he had a way of making even boring things entertaining. It wasn’t long before Dean was placing the last dish in the drying rack and then watching Cas clean down the surfaces and sing to himself.

 

“I love you,” Dean blurted out and Cas paused. A slow smile crept onto his face. He let go of the cloth and wiped his hands on his jeans.

 

“I know, I am pretty amazing,” Cas joked... “You know,” he said, looking at Dean thoughtfully. “I’m kind of turned on at how sappy you’ve become, I like it.”

 

“I’m not sappy,” he disagreed and pulled a face, though he guessed it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to be called. “And you’re turned on at everything, so I’m really not surprised.”

 

“I never hear you complaining.”

 

“Cas, behave,” Dean warned, “Bobby is in the other room. Save it.” But he couldn’t help a smile as Cas grinned and cornered him against the work surface. He leant his hands on either side of Dean on the sideboard.

 

"You really think anyone's gonna come in here while we're cleaning up?" Cas asked rhetorically. He was right, Sam was upstairs and Bobby wasn't going to move for a while yet. They both glanced towards the closed door and then back at each other.

 

Dean swallowed thickly, knowing the look that his boyfriend was giving him.

 

“How do you do that?” Dean asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Cas smiled and leant in further to his space, leaning their foreheads together.

 

“You were so upset with me earlier, and now you’re climbing me like a tree,” Dean laughed softly, fondly. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck.

 

“You made me feel better, you gave me an answer. There’s no point worrying needlessly about it. If you think it will be okay then it’s all fine, I trust you.”

 

Cas muttered sincerely and then kissed him, threading one of his hands through Dean’s hair and framed his jaw with the other. Dean hesitated for a second; his brain was still stuck processing the fact that Cas trusted him so much. He kissed back, slowly at first but then until he felt dizzy with it. He hadn’t realised how much he needed this, the feeling of Cas’ lips and hands on him made his heart flutter and his palms sweat. He couldn't help the sound that escaped him as Cas closed the space between them and pressed himself against him.

 

"Do you want me to stop?" Cas panted against his lips.

 

"I want you to stop fucking teasing me," Dean replied and then captured his lips again. He grabbed one of Cas' hands and moved it to his ass in invitation. "Come on,” he moaned and Cas nodded. Dean was desperate to take the edge off. His hands found Dean's ass properly and he squeezed roughly before he hoisted him up onto the side board and stood between his legs.

 

"I want you to fuck me," Dean whispered.

 

"Now?" Cas asked, kissing down his neck and pulling lightly on his hair.

 

“Fuck, yeah.” Dean nodded. “I’ve had enough of today, let’s go upstairs.” Both men moaned at the thought of finally getting some time alone and gripped at each other fiercely, Cas forcing Dean to rock against him as they kissed.

 

And though they had agreed to move neither wanted to, they were too wrapped up in each other and unwilling to part. They kissed until the heat rose between them and their hands grew frantic, desperate to touch wherever they could reach.

 

“Upstairs?” Cas suggested.  “I _really_ don’t want to be interrupted again.” As hot as the idea of doing it on the counter was, they prepared food inches away from Dean’s ass, so he nodded and finally slipped off the side. When Cas stepped back out of his space, Dean felt cold without him. He laughed to himself as he realised how turned on he was and took a deep breath to try and calm himself, after all,  he had to make it past Bobby in this state. Cas pecked him on the lips again and they exchanged a meaningful look. They exited the kitchen slowly, making sure the garage door was locked and that everything was turned off, their hands clasped between them the entire time.

 

“You boys going to bed?” Bobby said appearing at the door and Dean felt Cas hide behind him slightly.

 

“Yes, Bobby, goodnight.” Cas smiled and then shuffled awkwardly.

 

“Yeah, night Bobby,” Dean said before he practically dragged Cas towards the stairs. There was nothing worse than Bobby knowing what they were doing once that door was closed. It was gross. He couldn’t wait to have his own place one day.They both ran up the stairs but tried to stay light on their feet, both very aware that Sam was on skype down the corridor, they could hear him laughing.

 

Once they were alone in Dean’s room, Dean turned his radio on which happened to be on a classical station. He raised an eyebrow at Cas who shrugged and tried to look as innocent as possible, he rolled his eyes and turned it up slightly.

 

Cas guided him to the bed and pushed him down softly. He climbed into Dean’s lap, kissing him again. He pulled away for a second to smile at him beautifully, happily.  Dean couldn’t resist kissing that smile again.

 

“I never said that I love you too,” he murmured.

 

“It’s okay,” Dean said, breaking their kiss again and rubbing his nose softly against Cas’. He smiled back, feeling kind of breathless from Castiel’s kiss. “I kind of got that.”

 

Their touch had been heated and borderline desperate downstairs, but now in the privacy of their room things weren’t rushed. They took their time as they undressed each other, touches delicate but deliberate, well practised in pleasuring each other. They took time to appreciate each other and it was intimidate. Their lips only broke contact to whisper to each other in overwhelmed gasps of adoration as they gripped each other tight.

 

Once they couldn’t stand anymore, Cas gently turned Dean onto his stomach and lovingly prepared him. Cas kissed promises into his skin as he trailed them down his spine and Dean gasped into his pillow, their hands still clasped tight between them.

 

“Please,” Dean begged as he ground his hips back against Cas’ fingers. “I wanna feel you inside me.” Cas leant over him, weight pinning him to the bed temporarily so he could kiss him and Dean turned onto his back so they were face to face. “Like this,” he whispered, rubbing his arousal against Cas’ stomach. “So we can kiss.” Cas didn’t reply, he squeezed Dean’s hand tight and encouraged Dean to lift his legs on either side of his hips. He kissed him deeply as he sunk inside him.

  
“Cas,” Dean cried out, eyes wide and body tensing at the intrusion.

 

“Shhhh.” Cas rubbed his sweaty hair from his face and then kissed him again.

 

Cas was gentle and had Dean squirming in delight as he hit his sweet spot repeatedly. But he came quickly, panting into Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned at the unfamiliar feeling as Cas came inside him, his cock twitching as he felt every throb of Cas’ arousal as he came. He ground against it until Cas was too sensitive and pulled out.

 

“I’m sorry.” Cas frowned, embarrassment flushing over his face. “You felt really amazing,” he shyly admitted. He hovered above him, unwilling to put any distance between them.

 

“I liked it.” Dean reassured him.

 

“Do you want my mouth?” Cas asked, gently grabbing Dean’s cock and stroking it, thumb running over the head.

 

“Can I fuck you?” Dean gasped, thrusting his cock up into the tight circle of Cas’ hand. The other man smiled and let go, he sat up nodding. Cas wiped the perspiration from his brow.

 

“How do you want me?” he asked, clearly still trying to catch his breath as his chest heaved.

 

“Come here,” he whispered.

 

They made love for what felt like hours and then talked into the night. Fingertips traced each other's faces and hands caressed each other’s bodies until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer. It was by far the most exhilarating experience of Dean’s short eighteen years and it felt like the most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in this part of the chapter, I'm having a lot of trouble getting into the flow of this story as the plot is going to start getting complex :( (fml) a little encouragement from you guys will probably go a long way so please leave me some comments. thank you for all the continued support and I hope to update again soon.


	49. Chapter Nineteen - Part Three

 

Dean started counting down the days until his dad arrived; he was finally ready to admit that he missed him. Yes, he was a jerk, but at the end of the day he was still his dad. He spent a lot of that time worrying, he was no longer a person that his dad would recognise or approve of. He debated telling him everything but the fear that still gripped him at the thought was a sure sign it wasn’t a good idea no matter how much he wanted to.

 

With the arrival of his dad came the Church fair and the charity auction; it wasn’t that he didn’t want to take part, he was just nervous, what if no-one bid on him? Nobody who attended the church was his biggest fan, what if he stood up there and they laughed? What if his dad wanted to come? He shouldn’t be embarrassed but he was - what would Cas think of his dad? John had never been brilliant at speaking; he was abrupt and often crossed the line. Bobby had been so accepting, he had made Cas so welcome in their home and they had a healthy friendship and mutual respect for each other. Dean was afraid that his Dad would undo all of that. It had taken time to build that bond between the two of them, but it was still fragile.

 

Everything remained the same with school, though the lessons got harder and Dean had started to revise more so he was able to keep up with the work flow. He had never been more grateful to have Cas around the house, without him, he would undoubtedly be failing.

 

The other man had taken down the old revision timetable that he had made for Dean all those weeks ago, now a new planner was pinned on Dean’s bedroom wall. It was better than the other one and was specific to each day, he had written Dean’s schedule until Christmas and worked around that. Penned in was John arrival date, church services Cas wanted him to attend, revision clubs that would be starting, college open days and Dean’s work hours. Cas had even made allowances for family time (Friday nights) and date nights which were dotted around seemingly random. It must have taken him a long time to figure it all out. And Dean was pleased he managed to mostly stick to it, though sometimes he cut Chemistry revision short, he was no good doing that without Cas there.

 

As Dean ticked off the days, Cas spent more and more time at his house, he slowly noticed Cas’ schedule marked on there too. It started small: “Bible Study, Library, room 5a 6pm”, then increasing entries were scribbled on, letting Dean know where he was going to be which was great because the guy was unpredictable at the best of times.

 

Bella remained fixated on Cas, though there was no encouragement from him at all. Dean spent most of his classes with her awkwardly avoiding her gaze, she looked at him like she knew everything and it made him so damn uncomfortable. Sometimes Dean thought Bella was deliberately going out of her way to try and make him jealous. He didn’t give a damn how much she flirted with Cas and tried to hang off him, it was completely one-sided and she was doing nothing but embarrassing herself.

 

*

 

On Saturday, almost a week before John is scheduled to arrive; Dean decided to keep his promise to Cas and build the bed and sort out their room.  Dean was pretending he hadn’t noticed the rapidly growing collection of Cas’ books and clothes that were scattered around his room, but it made his chest warm. He glanced at the schedule on the wall, Cas should be at the library with Alfie and Gabriel, he wasn’t sure what time he would be back but he wanted everything ready for when he did.

 

Dean spent over two hours tidying his bedroom with Metallica blasting from his CD player. He opened his window and propped open his door to air the room. He stripped the bed and vacuumed the floor and found a stupid amount of empty condom wrappers down the back of the bed (he had never been so grateful he hadn’t asked Sam to help him do this).

 

The hard part was finding a place for all of Cas’ things. He settled on emptying a few more draws for him and folding his things in there, he added the stacks of books to own collection. He unfolded Cas’ clean Sunday clothes from the chair and went on a hunt for some hangers around the house so he could actually hang them up properly for him. He found some eventually and hung them in his wardrobe.

 

The amount of ties and suit jackets that the man owned was ridiculous, they were everywhere. He collected them and piled all the dry cleaning outside his door, he would have to drop it into town later. He really shouldn’t complain about it, Cas looked hot as hell dressed up and it was Dean’s fault when his ties turned up in really strange places. Last week Cas had worn suspenders and proved Dean had a real kink for smartly dressed men, that’s why a tie was permanently hanging from the lightshade. Dean glanced up at it fondly, they had decided to keep it there because it made them both smile every time they noticed it

 

Dean stopped procrastinating and rearranged the furniture, pushing his bed against the wall instead of in the centre of the room. He moved his chest of draws so they would be more central between the two beds. He stood at the door and admired his work. Cas was right, there was definitely enough space for another bed. It would be some time before he gets home so Dean used that time to figure out the wood they needed and to draw out the dimensions of his room and the bed to double check it would fit. It was fine like he knew it would be but it was better to be safe.   


  
Sam was still playing online games on Bobby’s computer and Dean didn’t want to disturb him so once he ran out of things to do he borrowed Cas' laptop. He assumed he wouldn't mind because he had told him the password and was never cautious about using it around him. So he sat on his bed and reluctantly started his English homework, he had been trying to boost his grade just a little higher and was doing some extra credit.

 

He had thought about joining the writers club or the school newspaper as well for a little extra experience, but he wasn't sure if he liked the commitment. There was a lot going on in his head at the moment and adding to it wouldn't be the best idea. Annoyingly, this was his last year so if he wanted to do it then now was the time. He glanced up at the time table and at all the club opening dates that Cas penned in. No doubt the other man would probably swamp himself in the work and join them all but Dean wasn’t like Cas who could hide behind his work. And Cas didn’t have a job so that was a lot of extra free time he had compared to Dean.

 

Dean worked for about an hour before he started to get sidetracked and nosily browsed through Cas’ laptop. Everything was quite boring, the majority of it was music, homework and notes that he didn’t understand from bible classes. He eventually stumbled across a locked folder and remembered Cas saying he had locked his pornographic photos of Dean on his laptop. He wanted to look because he was curious to what else he had in there but decided not to push it and try to guess the password. He had taken the pictures anyway so it wasn’t like he had never seen them and anything else in that folder was clearly private so he left it and shut the lid.

 

When Cas finally got back he was pleased to see the room had been moved. Dean had actually fell asleep on the bed and looked up at him confused as he spoke.

 

“What?” he asked, stretching wide on the bed.

 

“I said, you’ve been busy.” Cas laughed. “Are we doing the bed today then?” he asked, looking at the empty space in the room.

 

“Yeah, I thought it would be the only time we get a chance, besides, you have no other plans today, right?” Cas shook his head.

 

“No, all finished for the day now. You have my complete attention.” He grinned wide and gummy at Dean and it gave him butterflies. He was so happy that Cas’ smile could do that to him after everything they had been through together. Cas had obviously had a good day today, it made a big difference to his mood, it was lovely to see him smiling.

 

“That’s good. I just need to wake up.” Dean stretched again and yawned. He hadn’t realised how much he had tired himself out from moving the furniture and tidying. “Next time you can help me tidy, we were seriously overdue, you should have seen how many condoms were under the bed, it was gross but kind of awesome at the same time.”

 

“That’s not awesome, that’s just plain gross.” Cas looked disapprovingly down at Dean.

 

“Hey, no judgement zone here!” he complained as he sat up. “I’m still not used to all the hot sex I get to have with my boyfriend, it still amazes me. So it’s not gross, it’s awesome.”

 

“Well when you put it that way, I guess you’re right. I wouldn’t let just anyone touch me you know, you should be honoured,” Cas joked and Dean smiled at him. He stood up and pulled him into a hug.

 

“Yeah I know, baby I’m very lucky.”

 

“Dean, I was joking,” Cas laughed, pulling away and looking at him strange.

 

“I wasn’t.” Dean kissed him on the forehead. “Come on, let go and sort your new bed.”

 

**

 

Surprisingly it didn’t take that long to finish, as usual Cas was great at it once he stopped jumping every time Dean used the drill. It took a while before he get comfortable with using the power tools but after that he was fine. He didn’t mind cutting the wood but he much preferred sanding and drilling holes because he could confidently do that without wanting Dean to stand and watch him so he wouldn’t fuck up. It took them just over an hour to have the frame and headboard all securely in place. Cas looked seriously impressed.

 

“I knew we were making a bed but I didn’t realise it would look so...”

 

“Are you doubting my craftsmanship again, Novak? Because I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

 

“No, I’m just very pleased, it looks like it’s been pulled straight out of a store.”

 

“We just need to wait for the wood glue to dry and to varnish it and we’re all done. Unless you want Bobby to do something fancy with the headboard...” Cas shrugged at him and then stared at the headboard.

 

“No, actually, it would probably look really nice but I like the idea that me and you did this by ourselves. When can we varnish it?” he asked.

 

“The glue has to dry first, we should do it after church tomorrow. You can order your mattress tonight and it’ll be here in time.”

 

“Then we have a nice new bed to break in.” Cas wiggled his eyes and smacked Dean’s ass as he walked back in the house.  

 

**

Church was boring the next day and Dean stared at his bible and hymn book the entire time. He was glad when it was over. The only satisfaction that he got from that weeks service was that Balthazar turned a funny shade of red once he noticed Cas was sat with Dean and Sam again. Dean smiled and waved at him on the way out, pleased when he was forced to return the gesture.

 

“You shouldn’t be unkind to Balthazar, Dean,” Cas scolded him lightly. Dean bit his tongue and nodded.

 

“I apologise,” he replied, knowing that Cas knew he didn’t mean it, though he let it drop.

 

They stood outside the front of the building together as they said goodbye. Cas’ dad had held the service and Dean knew there would be no way that Cas would climb into Dean’s car in front of him. They were being forced to say goodbye at the entrance.

 

“Thank you for attending this week’s service, will you be attending our bible study at eleven today?”

 

“I’m afraid I have to get to work, possibly next week, is it still on because of the fair?” Cas shook his head no.

 

“We shall have a small prayer meeting in the morning before the fair is open, all are welcome to attend.”

 

“Thank you, me and my family will see you there. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Cas smiled and shook his hand, and then Sam’s who was looking bewildered. Cas winked at Dean as he walked back inside.

 

“I thought Cas was sleeping at ours tonight, he promised to make nachos for dinner.” Sam said as he climbed into the car.

 

“Yep, he’ll be home tonight. He’s gotta dodge the parents first.”

 

**

 

 Dean decided to join a book club on Monday, he went a checked out a few different clubs (was dragged around with Cas), but that was the one that won him over. He surprised a lot of people but he didn’t care what they thought, and when his English teacher found out she was thrilled.

 

He was set a book to read a week and then he needed to make a presentation or write a essay on his interpretation of the book. He would probably be bored with a few of the books as they were starting with Shakespeare this month, but in January they would be doing Vonnegut and Dean was really excited for that.

 

He attended the first meeting after school and listened intently to what they would be doing. It wasn’t a huge group of people but he didn’t know hardly any of them, but he didn’t mind because Cas would be waiting for him outside by the time he was finished. And it was good to make new friends, Charlie Bradbury (tardis girl), was in the group and it would be a good opportunity to get to know her better.

 

When they got home he pinned his reading list to the fridge.

 

“Some of them are buying all the books but it doesn’t matter, I can get the first few from the library with you, right?” Dean asked and Cas nodded.

 

“Yeah, the library should have all of these,” Cas agreed.

 

Dean didn’t say it but there was no way he could afford to buy them all, and no-one would notice he was reading from library books so what did it matter. He was disappointed and a little embarrassed he would be the only one in his class with borrowed books but he should be used to it by now.

 

By the next day there was a package of books neatly tied with a bow on the kitchen side and a note. They looked old and familiar, he remembered seeing them in Cas’ room.

 

_If you’re gonna be a dork, have your own copies._

 

Cas had gifted him the books he needed. Dean smiled so much that his cheeks hurt, Castiel knew him so well. Dean flipped open the top book and was surprised to see his boyfriend’s tidy writing in the corner.

 

_Enjoy getting lost in this world as much as I did. I love you._

 

**

 

"Hey, can I come with you to pick up dad tomorrow?" Sam asked over breakfast. Cas paused to the side of him and it was hard for Dean not to notice.

 

"Stop worrying, you, everything's gonna be fine," Dean said and leant over to kiss him on the cheek. "And no," he said, turning back to Sam who was sat across from him. "You have school."

 

Sam groaned as soon as the words left Dean's mouth. "Well, why do you get to pick him up? You're skipping school! Surely it's more important for you to be at school right now, you're a senior."

 

"What are you gonna drive there by yourself?" Dean asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Because if you wanna try be my guest."

 

Sam scowled and looked at Bobby as if wanting some back up. Their uncle shrugged. "Sorry, Sam," he said. "But Dean's right, you can't drive and there's no-one else to get him, I can't afford to close the shop on a Friday. There's no point you both missing school. Your dad will be here, ready for when you get home."

 

"But I don't wanna get the bus to school, can you drive me?" Sam asked Cas.

 

"I'm sorry Sam, but I don't have a car anymore." Cas shrugged at him apologetically. Sam looked surprised, as did Bobby. "One of my many perks of freedom," he explained. "I don't get privileges while living in sin," he muttered into his eggs.

 

Sam looked at Cas like he had grown an extra head. "You aren't living in sin," he argued. "You're parents and their bible are clearly wrong."

 

"Well, Cas," Bobby said, butting in while continuing to eat his pancakes. "We promote choice, diversity and respect in this house. If we were all the same, the world would be boring. Right, Sam?" Dean looked between his brother and uncle and wondered what he had missed.

 

"I wasn't disrespecting Cas' religious choices!" Sam defended, looking at Bobby like he had just betrayed him. "I was just saying... I don't understand what he's doing so wrong..." he grumbled.

 

Dean guessed they must have had a conversation about Cas at some point, about him staying here and about his relationship with Dean. It was nice that Bobby had thought of Cas’ wellbeing and tried to make Sam understand the differences between their lifestyles.

 

“Sometimes you should keep your opinions to yourself. How would you feel if Castiel said something like that about me or your dad?”

 

"It's fine, Bobby, let me explain." Cas smiled. "Sam, I am no longer following the word of God. I disobey my parents, I drink, I engage in premarital and homosexual sex, I can't get much worse."

 

Dean silently choked on his coffee at Cas’ admission.

 

"Yeah, I can see you're really out of control," Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, effectively ignoring Dean. "Doesn't your bible also condemn divorce and eating lobster or wearing mixed fabric or something? Plenty of people do that."

 

"You're right of course." Cas grinned. "But that would be inconvenient for all the white, straight men and we wouldn't want that."

 

“Let’s not talk about stuff like this,” Dean croaked, finally clearing his throat of the beverage. He hated bible talk and it was too damn early for all this crap.

 

“Yeah, might as well get used to the oppression for when dad gets here.”

 

Dean tutted and Bobby sighed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for the lovely comments on the last chapter, it means so much to me!!


	50. Chapter Twenty Part One

Dean was up, washed and dressed by six o’clock, completely prepared to go and pick up John; though that didn’t make him move any quicker. He was sat in the front of his car with a frown on his face. He was a complete bag of nerves. He had procrastinated about as much as he could; he messed around with the tape player, stacked his tapes chronologically and tidied everything within reach inside the already immaculate car. He quickly ran out of things to do and he looked around dismayed, trying to find something to occupy his time. There was nothing. A lump formed in his throat; he swallowed thickly.

 

He couldn’t do this. He felt frozen in his seat.

 

In yet another attempt to avoid the inevitable, Dean started making lists in his head of things he needed to do before he left, though he knew he had done everything. Had he made Sam’s lunch this morning? He didn’t think that he had. It was the only thing he could clutch at. He was about to open the car door when he realised how pathetic he was being. Cas would make Sam’s lunch. Dean didn’t need to do it, he was making excuses. Hell, Sam could make Sam’s lunch! He held the steering wheel instead and rested his feet against the pedals.

 

The jittery feeling that swept through him prevented him from moving out of the driveway and his hands stuck to the steering wheel, clenching in anxiety. He physically couldn’t move.

 

He wasn’t ready, it had all come too soon. It didn’t feel like it had been three months, surely it had only been a few weeks since he had been dropped off at Bobby’s? Dean had spent the last summer dreading going to school and thinking it would be the worse year he would ever have, but then he had met Cas on his first day. The threat of his happiness being stolen was making him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He took a few deep breaths and told himself he was being stupid, but they came out shaky; Dean tried to convince himself it was because he was cold. He turned on the engine and blasted the heater as high as it would go, after all, he wanted the car to be comfortable for the drive. It would take him a good few hours to get there, even if thetraffic was good.

 

Dean was horrified to find that he had only wasted a few minutes as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He threw it onto the dash annoyed and glanced back towards the house, hands tapping a nervous beat on the steering wheel. He looked away, staring in front of him and tried to talk himself into moving.

 

He was startled a few moments later as a loud rapping sounded on his window.

“Jesus Christ, Cas! Ouch!” he cursed, as he banged his head on the roof of the car. He attempted a glare in the man’s direction but was unable to help a smile sneaking onto his face at the profound sense of calm that washed over him from his boyfriend’s presence, even if he did have a sore head now.  He hurriedly wound the window down. Cas’ hair was mussed from sleep and he was standing barefooted in his boxers and one of Dean’s shirts. The fact that anyone could see him didn’t seem to bother him; he was undeterred by everything but the cold, hopping lightly from foot to foot.

 

“Don’t blaspheme,” Cas said, looking at Dean disapprovingly but for some reason it made Dean’s heart flutter.

 

“What’re you doing up?” he asked as he gave up trying to be grumpy, he was too happy to see Cas. He had left him heavy with sleep, curled around a heap of pillows and snoring softly. He hadn’t even woken up when Dean had raided the dresser for his good jeans, he ended up emptying everything onto the floor and swearing loudly in frustration when he had to settle for a different pair. He hadn’t expected to see him until he got back.

 

Cas shrugged and leaned against the car door. He passed a large flask inside the car with a kind smile. “I thought you might appreciate some coffee.” He beamed. Dean took it gratefully and rested the hot container between his thighs.

 

He couldn’t believe that Cas had went out of his way to come and check on him, he could have just rolled over and went back to sleep for another hour, instead he had checked if he had left yet.

 

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. Dean grabbed Cas behind his neck and forced him down to plant a big kiss on his lips. Dean could feel him roll his eyes as they pulled apart.

 

“Now go, otherwise you’ll hit traffic. I’ll see you when I finish school. ” Dean nodded, feeling a lot more courageous, though still hesitant to leave. He looked up at Cas and bit into his lip, he wandered if he should ask him to come too... He knew that Cas would drop school if he asked him... He debated it for a second and then brushed the selfish thought aside. He couldn’t ask him to do that, besides, he needed to do this for himself.

 

The alone time with John wasn’t wanted, probably by the both of them, but Dean felt that maybe they needed it. It would be good to clear the air between the two of them, there was a lot of things that had went unsaid in the last few months and Dean was past his days of bottling things up and pretending everything was fine. It wasn’t fine. What his dad had done was not okay and John needed to know that... Dean hoped that he had already realised that for himself. He wanted to forgive him, but to get to that point they needed to talk. They would never get there if Cas was in the car. It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to talk about these things in front of Cas, it was that John would undoubtedly not trust Cas, it would be hard enough to get him to talk anyway, it would be ten times worse with a stranger in the car.

 

“I-I love you,” Dean stammered, feeling like he needed to say it before he left. Cas smiled warmly, his eyes smiling at him. He reached for Dean’s hand and squeezed it with his own icy fingers.

 

“You’ll be fine,” Cas replied. “Once you see him you’ll feel silly, it’s just nerves. Here,” Cas kissed him again. “One more for the road.”

 

*

 

Cas was right. Dean shouldn’t have been surprised because Cas was _always_ right.

 

It was _such_ a relief.

 

He had drove around for almost half an hour in the airport parking lot looking for a space before he had found one. There were a few spaces that he could have used but he didn’t want to risk scratching the car in such narrow spaces – he had done enough work on the car this year, he was still paying it all off.

 

When he finally stepped out of the car, his legs felt like jelly as he walked towards the waiting lounge where they had agreed to meet. He struggled to stop his hands from trembling. He tapped his pocket, feeling secure in the fact his phone was in there, if he needed to he could call Cas and he would come and get him. He wasn’t quite sure why this thought was swimming around his head, he guessed he was paranoid, he wasn’t really sure what to expect.

 

Dean halted, a tight feeling back in his throat. There was John, looking around in the crowd and searching for him. Dean watched him, unsure how to stop the palpitations in his chest. He fought his instinct to duck down and hide – why the hell did he even _want_ to do that? He felt utterly betrayed by his own mind and tried to get a grip on himself. Dean took another deep breath and took his phone out of his pocket, he held it to his chest in an attempt to calm down.

 

He stood and watched John for a while, letting the idea of seeing him, of spending time with him, really sink in.

 

Dean had to admit, John looked better, much better, healthier than he ever remembered and it was like the weight and stress was slowly lifting from Dean as he really took in the sight of the man. Excitement started to buzz under his skin. He found himself smiling. Found that the memories of their troubled past were quickly becoming irrelevant in the scheme of things. Were those last six drunken months really important now, when they hadn’t seen each other in so long? They could sort that later on, they had a whole month to talk... And the man who was looking longingly around the crowd was not someone that Dean needed to be intimidated by, not someone he could be scared of. His dad looked strong again, he was clean shaven and dressed in new, clean clothes. It was the first time in forever that Dean had seen him sober. This was his dad, not the stranger, not the man being drowned in his own depression.

 

_Dad was back._

 

Dean legs grew strong as he broke into a run.

 

“Dad!” He surprised himself as he found his voice. “Dad! Over here!” he called, raising a hand and waving. The feeling of watching his dad turn into his direction, a smile breaking out on face, it made Dean’s heart swell with love for the man.

 

John dropped his bags just as Dean collided with him, arms gripping at him as he forced them into an embrace. He almost knocked the two of them over with the force of it, but John stood firm and squeezed him back tight, planting a kiss against his son’s forehead.

 

*

 

Dean didn’t shut up the entire drive home, he updated his dad on practically everything he had missed in his life and each and every random thing that popped into his head. He boasted about the car for the majority of the journey as the other man had never seen it and was gobsmacked when Dean walked up to it and climbed in. Dean was glad he had managed to impress his dad when he explained that him and Bobby had rebuilt it over the summer.

 

“I never realised you were interested in cars, Dean,” he said, genuinely surprised as Dean finished explaining what a difficult job it had been. The excitement had been clear in his voice as he spoke of travelling to collect each new part until it was finished. John was right of course, before he came to live with Bobby he had never had the chance to develop a huge interest in anything.

 

“Oh yeah, I work at the garage three days a week, Bobby’s been helping me train up.” It was easy to forget how much his dad had really missed out on.

 

“You work?”

 

“Well yeah,” he replied, as if it should have been obvious. Of course he worked, he was eighteen, it was kind of expected that he would have a job at that age, he wasn’t sure why his dad was so surprised. “It’s nice to have some cash to buy myself things, I can’t expect Bobby to just give me money, I need to earn it,” he explained.

 

“That’s a very mature way of looking at things.” John nodded.

 

“And it helps Bobby out too, I always do whatever they haven’t had time to do in the day. I like to be busy and it helps pass the time.” Dean had never realised how true that was until he had said it out loud. He guessed he really did.  It was startling to learn new things about yourself. It got him thinking about other things that had changed since his dad had gone, three months was a long time, namely the fact that he had went from having little to no interest in school, to suddenly wanting to go to college.

 

“Sam helps out in the office sometimes too, paperwork and such and Bobby gives him some cash for it so he’s not left out. It looks good on college applications too.” Dean glanced nervously at his dad’s face, trying to discreetly read his expression and note any negativity. There was none. John remained with a thoughtful smile on his face.

 

“That’s true,” he replied, nodding along and actually listening to what Dean was saying. This was definite progress and Dean’s confidence grew every time John acknowledged what he was saying with interest. He felt the worry start to ebb away, he had been so anxious about mentioning colleges to his dad, and he hadn’t batted an eye at the suggestion.

 

He talked about classes and his new favourite books, the friends he had made and the teachers he hated, he the list went on and on. His dad commented at random intervals and laughed when Dean told him something funny and it was _nice_. There was still the doubt nagging at Dean’s head that his dad’s mood would dramatically switch and he would freak out, but so far, the old man had been polite and friendly. It didn’t take Dean long to grow comfortable sat with him with Led Zeppelin playing on low in the background.

 

Time flew.

 

It wasn’t until they had reached the town that Dean realised he had talked the entire way. He immediately fell silent, slightly embarrassed, it was so unlike him to talk so much, even around Cas. His heart sank as he glanced at the time, he had got so carried away talking, the journey was over.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to talk your head off.” He really hadn’t meant to, he hadn’t mentioned Cas, now how was he supposed to get that into conversation when they were twenty minutes from home? His mouth had completely run away with him.

 

“I know I missed a lot, you talk away, it’s good to hear that you’re doing so well. Bobby has done a really good job with you boys.” The statement made something dark stir in Dean’s stomach, something like resentment and guilt, anger at the situation John had put them in. It wasn’t Bobby’s job to do a good job with them, it was his. He shouldn’t be annoyed about his dad admitting that Bobby had done well, because Bobby would have made an amazing dad, Bobby would never give up on Sam and Dean like John had. It made him sad, what had they ever done wrong? He didn’t understand why they hadn’t been enough to motivate him. Dean pushed the feeling down. He was here now and that was what mattered.

 

“Thanks, Dad,” he forced out.

 

They fell silent for the rest of the drive so Dean cranked up the volume on one of his tapes, not so he could listen but so it would fill the silence and his dad wouldn’t try to talk to him. He needed to find a way to breech the subject of Cas. Dean thought for so long, driving on autopilot as he made his way through town. It was way too soon that they pulled into Bobby’s driveway. Dean made no move to get out of the car, he glanced at the time on his phone, it was just gone two, Sam and Cas would be home in just over an hour.

 

“I...” He wasn’t sure what to say. He glanced unsurely at his dad, who looked at him expectantly. Dean unclipped his seatbelt, lost on what to do next. Should he just blurt out what he was feeling? Should he admit to everything? He gulped thickly. John was looking at him, eyes dancing across Dean’s face and really looking until he finally looked away, ashamed.

 

“I think I know what this is about, let’s go inside okay, and we can talk, man to man.”

 

Dean’s eyes widened and he nodded stiffly.

 

He climbed out the car robotically and Dean walked up to the house, his dad close behind. It felt strange taking him somewhere that he considered home, because this wasn't John's home. It had been a long time since Dean had been able to call anywhere his home and Bobby had given him that. Opening the door and inviting his dad inside felt strange.

 

 

Every small change that had happened around the house was what made it belong to him and Sam and Bobby. When they had first arrived the house was a mess, Karen's stuff littered around and boxes of things that Bobby hadn't touched in years, the house had needed to be made kid friendly - from hiding the guns and porn to the silly things like actually buying a bath mat. And those first few weeks were what had made it home; the visits to home stores where they both whined excessively as Bobby stared cluelessly at a thousand different shades of paint, and then to electronic stores to buy TV's and new phones for them. He let them help pick things, included them in decisions, like the new microwave and a vacuum which actually worked. Bobby had let them build it into something they needed and in return Dean and Sam had given Bobby something irreplaceable, a family. John had never done that, it had felt like they were living with a stranger, a man they didn’t respect and could no longer love.

 

 

Dean watched as John dumped his bag on the bottom of the stairs and looked around him, taking in his surroundings. It made him feel defensive. John's eyes skirted over the beanbags in the lounge, the new wallpaper and carpets, the Playstation 3 that Bobby had brought them and the piles of clean laundry on the coffee table.

 

 

"Bobby redecorated... I can't even recognise the place." He sounded gob smacked as he looked around.

 

 

"We did it together. All of us.  Sam painted this wall," Dean said as he placed his hand against the closest wall. "See how the brush strokes are visible? Bobby banned him from using a roller because he rolled it over my face." Dean smiled and John laughed.

 

 

"You boys did a good job." He looked around proudly as he wandered towards the kitchen.

 

“Yeah, we did,” Dean agreed.  
  
  
Dean immediately went to make coffee, a habit he had picked up from Cas. He tried not to focus on his dad who was looking at the fridge in interest.

 

 

"You got an A?" he asked, and pulled one of the many test papers that were stuck on the fridge by Bobby. He stared down at it, looking at Dean's answers.

 

 

"Yeah, I guess." Dean shrugged. "It's my average now."

 

 

"You're both doing so well in school, you must get your brains from your mom." Dean grinned, his dad didn't mention her often, he must have really impressed him, either that, or he really was better.

 

“Thanks dad,” he said, smiling as he waiting for the kettle to boil, hearing his dad compare him to his mom surprised him, but in a good way. “Though you’re not exactly dumb yourself.” Even though his dad could be an asshole, he was really clever when he wanted to be.

 

“Ah, my mind’s not really what it used to be,” the man admitted. He stuck the paper back to the fridge carefully and continued looking at the others.

 

Dean still stared at the kettle, waiting for the red light to click off; he finally lifted it to fill the mugs. This was awkward, the atmosphere all wrong, it had been a long time since Dean had felt like this stood in his own kitchen.

 

“Who’s Cas-ti-el Novak?” he asked. Dean almost scolded himself. He had forgotten that Bobby had proudly stuck Cas’ work on the fridge too.

 

“Shit,” Dean cursed under his breath as the water splashed him. His dad turned and shot him a curious look; he smiled falsely and placed the appliance on the counter as he tried not to draw suspicious attention to himself. His dad was holding up a test paper and flicking through it. Dean’s heart hammered in his chest, he licked his lips nervously, his eyes glued to the paper his dad was holding.

 

“He’s erm,” Dean faltered. “He’s my best friend,” he said, deciding to try and be as honest as possible.

 

“Smart kid,” he commented.

 

“Yeah, he’s been a good influence on me, he helps me with school.” John nodded and pinned the paper back on the fridge.

 

“Bobby really likes him, he lets him stay here a lot... You might meet him later.” John nodded again and then opened the fridge and grabbed the milk. Dean stood waiting for a reaction, but for some reason, that was it. Dean was expecting more... John had always been crazy strict about having people over, about Dean’s friends but he just looked at Dean expectantly and then looked at the kettle. John eventually rolled his eyes and huffed, picking up the kettle and finishing the drinks.

 

Dean stood there like an idiot.

 

“Come on, let’s go talk.” He put a firm hand on Dean’s shoulder and guided him over to the table. It was covered in homework and study books; Sam’s latest project was laid across it, paints and bright felt tips scattered around messily. A large pile of Cas’ bible notes were shoved in the corner, his bible upside down on top of them. John placed his mug on an empty space and sat down. Dean hesitated before he grabbed a chair and pulled it out, he nervously sat down too. The jittery feeling was back in chest and his throat felt like it was seizing up. He took a sip of his coffee, ignoring the liquid scolding his throat.

 

Dean couldn’t look at him, he didn’t want to pretend anymore. He stared at the floor and tried not to have a heart attack. He didn’t know what his dad was going to say and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it, hear the excuses and accusations.

 

“I don’t know where to start,” John said, breaking the silence.

 

“Maybe an apology would be a good place.” The words were out before Dean could help them, he glanced up, fear spiking through him and he flinched, waiting for the pain. John stared at him, looking uncomfortable and then down at his own hands as he realised why Dean had reacted that way. John shifted in his seat uncomfortably, and in his own spiteful way, Dean was glad he had made him feel like that.

 

“Dean... I’m so sorry.” John looked at him heartbroken. “I don’t remember a lot of what happened in those last few months, I just know that I did some things that were unforgivable. I just wanted you to know that I’m not that person anymore, I got help and I’m working on it.” It sounded like it pained him to admit it.

 

Dean’s throat and chest ached with the need to cry; he swallowed thickly and held his tears back. “You really screwed us up.” His voice was thick with emotion and his eyes watered, tears dangerously close to falling. He sniffed and blinked rapidly, trying to clear them. “The things you did, I can’t stop thinking about them. Do you know how hard it was to explain to Sam? To cover it up from the school?”

 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I don’t know what else to say...”

 

“Yeah, well, sorry will never be good enough.” Dean tried to keep his voice strong but it wavered. “I never realised how bad things were until we moved here, until Bobby showed us normal.” He swiped at his face angrily as a tear fell. “You can’t just turn up here again and expect everything to turn out fine. You aren’t family anymore. _Bobby_ is our family.” Dean looked up and expected John to be furious, but his face was screwed up with emotion, in a deep frown and his hands shaking as he leant his head in them.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to take you away, I don’t want that. I _need_ you to give me a chance.” His words were muffled as he begged.

 

Dean broke down, a sob escaping from his mouth and he bit into his lip as he let the emotion flood through him. It hurt, more than anything. He didn’t know what to do. He squeezed the coffee cup, the burn around his hands a welcome distraction from the pain he was feeling inside. He watched his teardrops splash onto his legs and soak up in the fabric.

 

“I want to forgive you, but it’s too soon.” He sniffed. “My mind keeps jumping back to that time, to when you would hit and swear and shout. I was terrified of you. I don’t think I can ever forget it. How do I know you’ve changed? I’ll always be waiting for you to raise your hand.” His own honesty frightened him and speaking aloud about these shameful experiences made him feel dirty. Admitting what his own dad had done to him, it made him feel sick.

 

Sometimes when Dean was alone, he would think back and the memories were so surreal, he sometimes questioned whether it had ever happened or whether it was a fabrication of his own imagination. It was easy to pretend it was all a bad dream or to convince himself that he was exaggerating. But he wasn’t, it was real.

 

“I was in a bad place Dean, I was depressed and an alcoholic. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I was a coward. But I promise, I’m clean and I’m taking medication.” John wiped the tears from his own face, looking tired. “You look so much like her, it hurt,” he whispered, and took a deep breath.

 

“That’s no reason. We all miss her, everyday.” Dean missed his mom more than he would admit; he had only mentioned her a hand full of times to Cas and the other man never asked. It was painful and though the loss wasn’t new the wound it had caused was raw.

 

“I know...”

 

“She would be ashamed of you, you were supposed to love us, look after us, and we were supposed to be a family. You broke us. We never should have left this town, moving was a mistake...” Dean sniffed again, and wiped his eyes. He had thought about what it would have been like if they had stayed many times, maybe Bobby would have supported John better? He would have never been hit so hard with his depression. Maybe they could have been happy all along instead of suffering so horribly.

 

“I don’t know how to make this better,” his dad sobbed. “Just tell me how to make it up to you.” It didn’t matter what his dad said or did, nothing would ever make up for how he had treated his children.  

 

“There isn’t a quick fix, I don’t know.” Dean shrugged and wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I guess we’ll have to wait for time to heal us.” Dean didn’t how long that would take or if he would always be bitter and hurt about it. Would he ever learn to trust John again? His fear had become an instinct.

 

“Are you willing to give me a chance, Dean?”

 

Dean didn’t know what to say. There was Sam to think about. Dean would never be able to speak on Sam’s behalf about these things; John would have to apologise to him too. He wasn’t sure how he felt about letting John speak to Sam about these things, Sam was delicate. Dean wasn’t sure how it had all affected his brother as they never spoke about it, but the fact Sam slept in bed with Dean when they lived with John spoke volumes.

 

“I don’t really have a choice; I can’t stay mad at you forever.” Dean sighed and eventually tried to make some real eye contact with his dad, John smiled at him crookedly, face blotchy from his tears.

 

“Thank you, I was so worried that you would hate me, you have every right.”

 

“I do kinda hate you,” Dean admitted, and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “But... you’re my dad... and I’ll still kinda love you no matter what.”


	51. Chapter Twenty Part Two

Dean chatted away with his dad, tears not forgotten but at the back of their minds as they tried to rebuild their broken relationship. It was a little like stepping on eggshells, difficult to know what to talk about, but it had been going a lot better than Dean had expected. It was far from perfect but he could tell things were well on their way to getting better. They had both managed a little laughter, so all wasn’t lost. 

He was feeling a lot less nervous but he still had that annoying, nagging anxiety threatening to send him into panic when Cas walked through the door. He couldn’t stop glancing outside and waiting to see the signature yellow bus. But when it drove past Cas and Sam did not arrive, and Dean struggled not to worry about it, though eventually he relaxed.

The atmosphere had improved significantly by the time they finally arrived home over two hours later, but Dean was right, he immediately felt on edge and it was gone within seconds. He looked at John, he was about ready to leap out of his chair and run to the door, a smile tugging at his mouth at the prospect of seeing Sam. He stopped and sat back down awkwardly when he heard the two boys bickering. He looked like he wanted to interfere, and Dean was praying that he wouldn’t, that wouldn’t be a good start to his visit. 

“It’s just Cas,” Dean said, trying to sound nonchalant. John nodded, but glanced towards the door unsurely as their voices grew louder.

“Should I...?” He pointed at the door and Dean looked at him alarmed and shook his head. 

“No, no, just let Sam calm down,” he explained. The whole situation was bizarre, he had never had John ask his opinion on something, never had him do anything but bark orders. But he knew that whatever Sam and Cas were arguing about, that his brother was going to be the one in the wrong. Cas didn’t need someone barging in there, he was able to fight his own battles. And Sam didn’t need John barging in there and interrupting or misinterpreting the situation, it was best to just leave them to it.

“Just get inside now,” came Cas’ voice, sounding strict. “I am very disappointed in you.”

The front door slammed so loud that Dean almost jumped out of his chair. He stared horrified at the kitchen door where Cas’ attempts to keep their conversation private epically failed due to Sam being destructive and loud. What the hell was Sam doing? He was going to kill him for embarrassing him this way. How dare he talk to Cas like that, and why the hell was he acting out when he knew their dad was here? It was not the time for teenage rebellion.

It was official; he was going to kill Sam.

“It wasn’t even me, Gabriel started it-“

“And Gabriel should know better as well, I will be dealing with him later. Just give me your gym bag,” Cas hissed, sounding beyond annoyed. Dean could picture Sam rolling his eyes in response.

There was the familiar sound of Sam kicking his shoes against the wall, though the thud was a lot louder than usual and Dean sighed loudly. He really could not deal with Sam’s hormones today; he had his own crap to sort out. He felt bad about leaving Cas to deal with it, but he would probably just end up punching the little shit if he went out there.

“You can’t tell me what to do! You-” Sam fumed, his voice sharp and loud. John looked conflicted on what to do, he looked to Dean again.

“Leave it, Cas is sorting it,” Dean muttered and shook his head, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or his dad. He stood to click the kettle on, yet again a welcome distraction.

“Please stop this behaviour immediately, your father is here. You will go upstairs and clean up, then you may come downstairs.”

“Oh my God, you’re so annoying-” Sam screamed and Dean felt anger bubbled under his skin; he was ready to storm into the hallway and tear Sam to pieces, fuck what his dad thought, when Cas surprised him.

“You will be respectful and not blaspheme in front of me,” Cas yelled back, effectively cutting Sam off and shocking him into silence. “I will be speaking to Mr. Singer about what happened today,” he said, his voice a lot softer. “It would be better if you reflected on your behaviour while you are upstairs and thought out an apology. I am not discussing this matter with you any further, Sam. You will do as you’re told or I will refuse you entry to the Fair tomorrow.”

“But-“

“Now.”

Dean listened to the sound of Sam running up the stairs. God, he wandered what had happened for Sam to act like such a brat at Cas.

Crap... Cas... 

He felt a bit sick. Cas was here and any second he was going to walk through that door and meet John for the first time, meet the man that Dean had spent the last few months badmouthing. It felt good that Cas knew the truth, that Dean had never lied to him about John’s bad parenting, but he also didn’t want Cas to walk in with an instant bad opinion of the man. Just as he didn’t want John to dislike Cas. If they didn’t get on then he wasn’t sure what he would do. Cas fit in so great with his little family, and if John was going to try and becoming part of their family unit again then he needed to like Cas. Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew that what he and Cas shared wasn’t some silly teenage romance, and it wasn’t going to fizzle out any time soon. That meant he would be around for a long time. It would be great if the two of them liked each other, then maybe eventually Dean could come clean, be honest with his dad about who Cas really was to him. It would be great to be so comfortable in his relationship that he could shout it from the rooftops. But he wasn’t quite there yet, both with Cas and his dad. 

He really, really wanted his dad to prove him wrong, prove to him that he wanted this and it wasn’t another broken promise, another thing to add to the mountain of disappointment that John had created within Dean. So far, after how Dean’s morning had gone, he was feeling hopeful but the fear was still there. He knew he only had to take this a day at a time, that Cas would be happy with however Dean decided to introduce him and he would never rush him, but either way he felt bad. He didn’t want Cas to think he was ashamed of him or of what they shared, though he was sure he was being paranoid. And what it really came down to was that he didn’t want John to be disappointed in him, he didn’t want him to be disgusted. It would break Dean’s heart if his dad finally proved his worth, managed to get Dean to trust him again, only to betray him and return to his old self when Dean opened up.

Dean took a deep breath to try and calm his hectic thoughts; his mind was running away with him. He silently pulled himself together and put a smile on his face, he didn’t want his dad to become suspicious to why he was suddenly edgy when he had finally calmed down.

Dean placed Cas’ coffee on the desk and sat back down opposite his dad who was looking as awkward as Dean felt. He tried his best not to make it obvious that he was nauseous from his nerves.

“He’s normally a good kid,” Dean said, trying to justify Sam’s poor behaviour. “I dunno what’s happened but he’s not always like that.” He was annoyed with him, he knew how important today was. Fair enough Sam would never understand how nervous Dean was feeling to introduce Cas to his dad, but he was old enough to understand how to behave on an occasion like this. Instead he had walked through the door yelling at Cas and possibly given John the worst possible first opinion of Cas. He hoped his dad would continue to bite his tongue and not judge Cas on being firm with Sam. Discipline had never really been a huge deal when they lived with him and it must have been strange to hear someone yelling at his kid. He remembered the shock of how strict Cas’ parents were with their children, when he first met him he couldn’t wrap his head around it.

“That’s a relief; I was worried you two may have traded personalities.” Dean was offended for a second before his dad grinned at him and he realised he was joking. He let out a weak laugh.

“Haha, Dad, thanks,” Dean scoffed.

Cas opened the door a second later, seemingly lost in his own world and jumped in surprise at John and Dean sat at the table, he almost dropped his bags on the floor. 

“Jumpy much?” Dean laughed and stood up to help him untangle. “Dad, this is Castiel,” Dean introduced, trying not to show how anxious he felt. “Cas, this is my Dad.”

“Hello, Mr. Winchester,” Cas greeted and stuck his hand out to shake the older man’s. John stood and his hand met Cas’ in what looked like a firm handshake. 

“You can call me John.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t, sir,” Cas said politely. 

“If you say so kid.” John gestured for Cas to sit down.

For some reason Cas had both his and Sam’s bags thrown over his shoulder, a grocery bag in his left arm and several folders hugged to his body with his other, he was weighed down with it a;;. Dean grabbed the grocery bag and took it over the counter to unload it. Cas shrugged the other bags off and dumped the folders onto the table on top of a pile of books.

“Thank you,” he said to John and sat next to him. “Sorry about all this stuff,” he said, stacking some of the papers and trying to tidy the table. “I was helping Sam with a project.”

“He’s seen worse,” Dean said from the kitchen. “And I made you a coffee, it’ll go cold.” Cas settled back in the chair and grabbed the mug in front of him, he held it close.

“Thanks, I got your homework and all your class notes, Jo photocopied hers for you. She sends her love and said to say hello,” he said, pointing to the folders he had brought in.

“Oh wow, thanks,” Dean deadpanned. “You shouldn’t have.”

Cas tutted.

“So Mr. Winchester, how was your flight? You’re stationed in Cape Town, right? That’s a long flight.” Cas said, before taking a deep drink and looking at John in interest. Dean wondered what Cas was thinking... he could tell he was nervous by the way he was acting. Cas was normally cool and collected and hardly effected by most things, but he looked a little shaky. Fuck, he hoped Cas wasn’t afraid of his dad after what he had told him, that would be horrible, though completely understandable.

The whole situation was really difficult.

“I’m glad to be here, let’s put it that way,” John replied. “How was er, school? I hear you’re helping Dean with his grades, I was looking at his test papers and I’m real proud.” Dean had never heard his dad be so polite, the effort he was going to made him smile a little, start to breath. Him and Cas were talking, this was great. His dad would have never previously even pretended to be interested in one of Dean’s friends, let alone take a genuine interest, especially when the subject was school. The man had never been one for education, he had flunked school and managed to get a respectable job, he was a great believer in hands on experience, not on putting your head in books. “And yours too,” he added as an afterthought. “You’re er, very clever.”

“Thank you, I do try very hard to maintain my grades, but with Dean, I’m not so much helping as encouraging,” he explained. “I think it helps when friends have similar interests that are positive rather than something that can become troublesome. Dean has never really needed me to help him; he is very intelligent with no input from others.” Dean tried not to let the compliment go to his head, but it did. It pleased him a lot more to hear that from Cas than to hear John say he was proud of him, though both were pretty damn good.

“Well, you’ve been a good influence, I can tell.”

“Thank you.” Cas beamed. 

“So Cas, er, what’s going on with Sam?” Dean asked as he sat back down. It was what he really wanted to talk about, and to be honest, he was glad to have the topic taken off him. “He was having a super bitch fit when you guys came in.”

“I’m not really sure.” Cas shrugged, though he looked like he knew a lot more than he was willing to say. “I split him and Gabriel up from some boys in his year; they were practically fist fighting in the car park this morning. He ended up with a detention after school.”

“Fighting? Detention?” Dean asked in disbelief, it was so unlike his little brother.

“That’s really not like Sam, he’s always been quiet as a mouse,” John commented thoughtfully. 

Sam has never been quiet, he’d always had a bad attitude and had always been stubborn as hell, but John wouldn’t know the bad side to Sam because Dean never let him see it in fear of what would happen. Neither Cas or Dean commented on it.

John was frowning and Dean put his hands under the table as they started to sweat, he clenched them uncomfortably at the expression on John’s face. He felt Cas’ hand brush across his and he gripped it tight.

“Yes,” Cas agreed hesitantly, doing a perfect job of hiding what was going on under the table. “Sam is ordinarily very well behaved and a very pleasant person. I don’t know what happened so I can’t comment on that aspect of it much, but his attitude when I collected him from detention was terrible. I know him and Gabriel are not the best behaved when together, but they are good kids. I’m sure it is not as serious as it sounds and I don’t think anyone was hurt, but still, it’s unusual.”

“No offense but Gabriel can be a little shit when he wants to be, and they are both very easily influenced,” Dean said honestly, he still hadn’t forgotten the alcohol incident, Sam was never going to live it down.

“Sam’s always been like that,” John cut in, sounding slightly out of place in the conversation but Cas and Dean listened to him, trying to include him. “He tries too hard to impress people and ends up going the wrong way about it. I know he’s a good kid, but I can’t lie, I was shocked to hear him shouting like that, he’s always been quiet.” Dean let John’s comment stand again, he wasn’t going to let him know he was wrong, but it was making him loose his confidence. Cas glanced at him uncomfortably and gripped his hand tighter.

The conversation was taking them nowhere good anytime soon, but it wasn’t like they could just ignore what had happened, that would be worse. Dean wracked his brain, trying to think of how to steer the conversation around without it being too obvious. He had never expected Cas to say fighting when he asked what the problem was. This was a nightmare.

“God, you’re mom’s gonna kill him.” Dean sighed. Maybe taking the conversation to Cas’ family would be better, his dad could have no opinion on that as he didn’t know them, though mostly that was wishful thinking.

“She won’t know, I handled it.” Cas glanced cautiously towards John who was still following their conversation. 

“Not my business,” he mumbled in response and held his hand up in defence. Dean was gobsmacked. He had never seen this side of his dad, normally he had something to say on everything. 

“I would like for Gabriel to attend the Fair tomorrow, his punishment can be to help set up in the morning.” It was a good point, mostly everything was ready, but those helping to set up needed to be at the church for six o’clock, Cas included, he needed all the help he could get. 

They spent the next half an hour talking about the preparations for tomorrow. Surprisingly, seems that it was one of the things that Dean had been worried telling his dad about, both Cas and Dean stuck to the subject, it was where they felt comfortable. Though to be fair, Cas was the one who explained it and he did most of the talking, doing a good job of filling the silence and taking the stress from Dean. John stayed mostly quiet though commented now and then; he was obviously out of his comfort zone once it was explained to be a fundraiser at the church. 

Sam joined them, shuffling unsurely into the room. He gave his dad a small hug and a smile and then sat down next to Dean, keeping a small distance between himself and his father. John looked disappointed but he didn’t push it. Dean was pleased when Sam apologised to Cas for his behaviour. They put aside their differences and decided to play a game. Cas and Sam cleared the table carefully, lining their things against the wall so they were out the way. They played various games of cards, a relaxed atmosphere slowly settling over them as they started to laugh and forget, mostly due to how clueless Cas was, (“I don’t understand, you said this ace was worth one, not eleven!”). That was how Bobby found them when he walked in the kitchen.

“John!” Bobby practically tackled the man and John tapped him on the back as he hugged him enthusiastically. “You look well,” he said as they separated.

“I feel it, thanks to you.” 

“Ah, it’s no problem.” Bobby grinned and he brushed aside the comment. “I see you met Castiel.” Bobby ruffled Cas’ hair, changing the subject. “This one’s a lifesaver.”

“Bobby,” Cas complained, moving out of his reach and blushing. 

“Okay, okay. Now go on boys, go and get the bags out the car.” 

“I already brought groceries...” Cas admitted guiltily as he stood.

“Ah, well it’s a good job you’re so predictable, I guessed you would, which is why I didn’t get groceries lad. I brought baking supplies. Now skedaddle.” He handed the keys to Cas and Dean followed. Sam stood and tried to make a beeline for the door. “Not you boy, sit down.” Dean could hear Sam gulp before he closed the door behind them.


	52. Chapter Twenty-One - Part One

The next morning was chaos and Dean wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, it felt as if he hadn’t slept at all. Cas was awake at four o’clock and already loading things into the back of Dean’s car, dragging him along still half asleep.

 

The first night in separate beds had been difficult, they spent over an hour staring at each other across the room and talking in hushed tones, too afraid to join each other. It was around two AM that Dean got sick of tossing and turning and climbed in with Cas, tiptoeing across the room. It didn’t help very much as every time he heard a noise he jerked awake and glanced towards the locked door, trying to assure himself that no-one was going to burst in. As a result of his edginess poor Cas was woke every time, so he wasn’t in the best mood by the morning. They were both exhausted and slightly snappy with each other.

 

Cas had promptly rolled out the bed when Dean had tried to sneak his hand into the other man’s underwear this morning, muttering about, “no time for funny business”.  It had kind of hurt his feelings to call it that, though he didn’t know why. Dean was feeling annoyed but he tried not to let it show, he was just being stupid. He had known it was going to be like this when his dad stayed so it didn’t make sense why he was feeling so hurt over such a small comment. He guessed he had prepared himself for his dad not approving of Cas, for the two of them having to act differently, but he hadn’t realised how much it would hurt when Cas didn’t want to be intimate with him.  He had actually thought it would be him making Cas feel crap instead of the other way around. He brushed it aside and put it down to sleep deprivation.

 

Dean had wanted to kiss Cas good morning, he had wanted to have a happy start to the day, but instead of going into the day smiling, they were both grumpy as hell. Today was going to be brutal.

 

The rest of the house was up an hour later and already Sam was causing problems because he couldn’t find his suit, he spent fifteen minutes yelling and storming around the house in his boxers. Bobby yelled at him while he emptied the closets and raided laundry piles around the house.

 

“He promised me he had it ready last night!” Cas stressed at Dean, agonising over the fact that Sam had lied to him.

 

“Cas, it’s going to be fine, now breathe man,” Dean said, grabbing him by the shoulders and trying to calm him down. Cas stilled and nodded, actually taking a few deep breathes. “Everything else is ready, you can’t possibly do anything else! Let’s just go and get dressed, yeah? By then Bobby will have sorted Sam out and we can have breakfast and get some freaking caffeine.”

 

For a second Cas looked like he was going to agree until he said, “One second, Dean, I just need to check...” He walked off and disappeared back outside and Dean felt like banging his head against the wall. He sighed and followed him. The impala was parked in the driveway and Cas had opened the trunk again and was rooting around. Dean thought about shoving him back into the bedroom and blowing him until he relaxed but the look Cas had gave him this morning was so damn scary that he resisted. He didn’t have a death wish. Instead he grabbed him by the waist and spun him around and then proceeded to lift him onto his shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

 

“What are you doing?!” Cas hissed, squeaking slightly and trying to hold onto Dean. “Put me down this instance.”

 

“Nope,” Dean said as he closed the trunk and marched back into the house, Cas flailing the entire time. “It’s gonna be a long day and you need to chill the fuck out. We’re gonna to get dressed and then we’re gonna have a nice god-damn breakfast together. Capiche?”

 

“Dean!”

 

“Relax.”

 

Cas tried to wriggle out of his grip until he realised he was fighting a losing battle and relaxed, flopping against him and letting himself he carried up the stairs.

 

**

 

John was dressed in his Navy Officer uniform, hat and all and by the time everyone was washed and dressed smartly, he had cooked everyone breakfast and made coffee and juice. They sat around the table together, Cas going through the days program with everyone. It was still awkward and John was suspiciously trying too hard, it was strange to see and felt even weirder but it wasn’t like that could complain about that, it was a lot better than the alternative.

 

Things had yet again improved a lot after last night, they had all spent hours baking in the kitchen and after a while the conversation had become smoother. Dean never found out what Bobby said to Sam because his brother hadn’t wanted to talk about it which was understandable – getting told off by Bobby was like a kick to the gut, he made you feel so darn guilty with how disappointed he looked. They had all retreated to bed shortly after apart from Bobby and John who disappeared into the garage.

 

“I need to go to the church shortly for morning prayers,” Cas said through a mouthful of food. “Dean’s going to drop me there with the flyers and then come back and collect you, Sam, and then you can set up the cake stalls with Gabriel.”

 

“Cool. He texted me this morning, said he’s stuck with Luke and he’s being a douche,” he said. Bobby whacked him around the head and Sam cringed and smiled at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.   

 

Dean groaned and banged his head on the table. “Is it bad that I forgot they would be there?”

 

“He’ll be attending morning worship with me,” Cas said in a heavy voice which conveyed exactly what he was thinking. “Wish me luck.”

 

Dean gave him a look full of pity, at least he didn’t have to be nice to Mike and Luke, poor Cas had to maintain the facade.

 

**

 

Dean found himself starting to relax; once everything was set up at the fair everything was just… nice. He took a moment to appreciate the situation for what it was; his dad and Bobby were chatting away like the old friends they were as if there were no hard feelings between the two of them, Sam was laughing with Gabriel and Cas was in his element dashing between stalls and handing out flyers to the guests, smile as charming as ever.

 

Everything felt ordinary and for the first time in a long time Dean felt like they were a normal family. It was easy to forget the complications, all the nitty gritty secrets and the lies. It was great to be able to spend the day with the people most important to him, even if it was at a crappy church fair though seeing Cas so happy was all worth it.  John hadn’t complained once about being there but Dean had a sneaking suspicion that Bobby was to thank for that. He had never appreciated his Uncle more.

 

Dean wasn’t really needed until the auction which wouldn’t be until later on, so he left Sam and Gabriel at the stall and made his way around the fair. Most of it was set up outside but Sam’s stall was indoors so he wandered outside to see what else there was to do. He had some cash on him and stopped to buy little things like raffle tickets and candy. He was surprised to stumble across Ellen and Jo who were both manning a stall full of baked goods. He would _never_ tell Bobby that it looked at lot more tempting than their stall, Dean’s mouth was already watering at the varying flavours of pie that were for sale.

 

“Oh my god, you didn’t tell me you were baking too!” he greeted, a huge smile on his face as he approached them. Baking was an understatement, there were cookies and cupcakes, pies and pastries, little chocolates and sweet treats as well as meat pies and readymade food. Ellen had really gone all out.

 

“Hi, to you too!” Jo replied sarcastically, smiling back. Dean reached for a giant cookie and took a huge bite out of it.

 

“Mmmm.” He hummed in delight as gooey chocolate filled his mouth. It tasted even better than it looked. “Oh my god, this is delicious.”

 

“You know you’re paying for that right?” Jo deadpanned and Dean rolled his eyes. He rummaged in his pocket for some change and pressed it into Jo’s waiting hand, she stuck her tongue out at him and Ellen laughed.

 

“Still children at heart, even though you look so grown up now.”

 

“Mom!” Jo scolded, face flushing in embarrassment and Dean laughed at her. He liked Ellen, he knew she was only saying it to wind her daughter up, with her mission accomplished she squeezed Jo’s cheek, the teenager pushed her away.

 

“This is wonderful, thank you, Mrs Harvelle,” Dean complimented, as he took another bite into the cookie.

 

“You’re welcome, be sure to take some for your bother and uncle too. I have our secret recipe burgers for sale as well.” Dean turned to the readymade food which was all neatly packaged at the other end of the stall with a grin.

 

“Oh! I told you that Dean’s dads in town, right?” Jo said turning to her mom, just remembering.

 

“John? Damn. I haven’t seen that man in years, how is he Dean?” Ellen asked, clearly surprised that he was back in town.

 

Dean shrugged and swallowed the last of his cookie. “Oh, I guess, looking really good. He’s inside if you wanna catch up, I bet he’d be happy to see you. Bobby’s here as well.”

 

 “Guess I’ll leave you kids here then, wouldn’t wanna embarrass you too much.” She laughed and disappeared with a mumbled, “Be back in a minute, Jo,” and an affectionate pat to Dean’s shoulder.

 

“See ya, Ellen!”

 

Dean jumped into the now empty seat next to Jo and helped himself to another cookie. He munched on it in silence and ignored the death glares Jo was shooting his way.

 

“I’m keeping track on how many you scoff, you know.”

 

“I know,” he replied. “I paid for the last one didn’t I?”

 

Jo sighed and they remained in a comfortable silence for a while, the two of them people watching.

 

“How’s everything going? Cas said you were really worried yesterday,” Jo said eventually.

 

Dean didn’t look at Jo, but let himself stay distracted, he still didn’t like talking about his feelings, but he knew that he could trust Jo, she was such a good friend to both him and Cas. He hummed in agreement and nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I was terrified. But to be honest, I’m starting to think it was all for nothing, ya know? Everything’s been fine so far,” he admitted.

 

“Maybe,” she said, but she sounded unsure. It made him finally turn his attention to her.

 

“What?” he asked and frowned.

 

She shrugged uncomfortably. “I mean, you felt that way for a reason, Dean. I don’t think you should worry but I don’t think it’s time to let your guard down either. I’m glad everything seems to be going okay for you, but don’t you think that maybe it’s all too good to be true?”

  
Hearing Jo say exactly what Dean had been thinking made him feel slightly better; he was glad that he wasn’t the only person thinking that way. Sometimes he felt like he was being a paranoid bastard so it was reassuring to hear someone else voice his thoughts.

 

“Yeah, I’m not dumb. I er, I’m – I’m still not sure what to think of it all, ya know? It’s all a bit surreal, being here with Sam and Dad... Bobby...”

 

“Cas?” she finished for him with a smile. Dean had tried to keep his distance from Cas, he was clearly very busy and his family were dotted around so it wasn’t like he could spend a lot of time with him even if he wanted to. But it didn’t change the fact they were actually all here together and that thought made smile and blush. Damn his hormones.

 

Dean cleared his throat and attempted to discreetly cover his flushed face by bending to tuck his laces back into his shiny shoes.

 

“Well, the less said about that the better. You know, for obvious reasons,” he said as he straightened up. Jo laughed to herself and nodded.

 

“Yeah, I understand.”

 

Dean cheekily snagged another cookie; he honestly was going to pay for them all so it didn’t really matter. They really were delicious, he thought about buying a load to take home. There were some salted caramel and pecan ones that he was sure that Cas would love, and there was some uniquely decorated cupcakes – red velvet and white chocolate, that he knew Sam would like. He tallied the prices of buying a few boxes in his head as he took another huge bite of the toasted hazelnut and Belgian milk choc chip-

 

“So... you’re not gonna tell him your bi, gay, whatever?”

 

Dean choked on his cookie in the hurry to plant his hand over Jo’s mouth and shut her the hell up. “Whaaa...” he spluttered and tried to compose himself. She pushed his hand away and rolled her eyes.

 

“I’ll take that as a no.” She held a bottled water in front of his face. “I didn’t mean to kill you, it was only a question.”

 

“Are you nuts? Would you tell your mom?” he asked in surprise, grabbing at the drink and then gulping it down.

 

“Duh, when are you gonna chill out and realise that the whole world isn’t out to get you? You told Bobby,” she reasoned.

 

“Bobby’s different, he loves... _him_ ,” he pointed out. “And we can’t tell anyone else, too many people already know about us. Have you met the pretentious pricks that call themselves his family? Who the hell needs enemies, huh?”

 

“Dean!” Jo hissed, scolding him.

 

Dean slapped his hand over his mouth as he noticed a middle aged lady was standing and looking at the display. She stared at him disapprovingly.

 

“Oops,” he mumbled, embarrassed. “Try Harvelle’s Ma’am, best pie in town!” he exclaimed with false cheer and a smile on his face as he gestured extravagantly at the display. Jo smiled at the lady as sweetly as possible as she tried to undo Dean’s damage.

 

The lady grudgingly handed over a few dollars and took a pecan pie.

 

“For charity,” she said stiffly, before walking off.

 

“I hate you , you ass!” Jo exclaimed, and punched Dean in the shoulder a couple of times.

 

“Ow, ow!” he cried, and tried to defend himself from a dead arm.

 

“You give me such a bad name!” she snarled and hit him once more.

 

“You’re doing a pretty good job of that yourself! Ouch...” he complained and held his injured arm. He frowned at her and thought about hitting her back until he remembered that Jo wasn’t actually his sister and Ellen would probably kill him if he bruised her.

 

“You can’t hit me, I’m a girl.” She held up her hands defensively as if reading his thoughts, laughing at him evilly. He narrowed his eyes at her.

 

“Are you sure? I might just have to test the theory, man hands.”

 

“Dean, truce! Truce!” she squeaked as he stood up, a cheeky grin on his face. “I’m a girl! I’m delicate!” she cried dramatically.

 

“Yeah right.” He sat back down, the two of them giggling.

 

He pushed her on the floor instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I'm so super sorry that this has taken so long! I've been having a really hard time in RL, on top of doing a university course and working a full time job, my family has all magically decided to become ill with various things all at once, what shocking bad luck, and most of it isn't looking too good guys :( and my partner is ill at the moment too, so we only have one wage between the two of us :( so im really stressed right now and i'm not finding a lot of time to write, and when I do I have no inspiration at all. I read every single comment you guys send and i love you all so much. I just want you to know that i don't plan on abandoning this, it will be finished. Thank you all so much :)

**Author's Note:**

> Like my fics? Check out my [website!](www.faith-valconbridge.squarespace.com) And my [blog!](http://superpotterlock.tumblr.com/)


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